| ๐๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ฒ: ๐๐๐ญ๐๐ซ ๐๐๐ข๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ๐๐๐ ๐ข๐ง๐ญ๐จ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ฅ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฌ๐๐๐ค ๐๐จ๐ซ ๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐๐ง๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ญ ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ญ๐ก๐จ๐ฌ๐ ๐ฐ๐ก๐จ ๐ฐ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ, ๐๐ฎ๐ญ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ฅ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฐ ๐๐ฅ๐จ๐จ๐ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฎ๐ง๐ฐ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐๐จ๐ซ.
|๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐/๐๐ฎ: ๐๐ง๐๐ฆ๐ข๐๐ฌ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐๐ซ๐ฌ,๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ,๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฆ๐, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฌ๐ญ, ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ซ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ฎ, ๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ญ๐๐ฌ, ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ.
| ๐๐๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ : ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐ฆ!๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ
| ๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฎ๐ง๐ญ: 7.3k
| ๐๐๐ซ๐ง๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ: ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ฆ๐๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐ญ๐จ๐ฑ๐ข๐ ๐ซ๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ, ๐๐๐ฎ๐ฌ๐, ๐ฎ๐ฌ๐ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ซ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฌ & ๐๐ฅ๐๐จ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ, ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐จ๐ง๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฎ๐๐ ๐, ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐ง๐ข๐ณ๐๐ ๐๐ซ๐ข๐ฆ๐, ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ซ๐๐๐ซ, ๐ฌ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ญ, foul language ( ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐ซ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ก๐จ๐ฅ๐ ๐๐๐๐ค ), ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐๐ฅ ๐ก๐๐๐ฅ๐ญ๐ก, ๐ก๐๐๐ซ๐ญ ๐๐ซ๐๐๐ค, ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐จ๐ ๐๐ก๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐ง๐ , ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ๐ฎ๐๐ฅ ๐ญ๐๐ง๐ฌ๐ข๐จ๐ง (๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ๐ฌ), ๐ฌ๐๐ฑ ( ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ค๐ข๐ง๐๐ฌ).
| ๐/๐: ๐ญ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐ข๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ซ๐ค ๐จ๐ ๐๐ข๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ซ๐๐๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐๐จ๐๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ซ๐๐ฉ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ญ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐ซ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐๐๐ฅ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ ๐๐ฎ๐ง๐ ๐ค๐จ๐จ๐ค ๐จ๐ ๐๐ญ๐ฌ ๐จ๐ซ ๐ก๐ข๐ฌ ๐๐๐ฆ๐ข๐ฅ๐ฒ.
๐๐ก.๐| ๐๐ก.๐ | ๐๐ก.๐ | ๐๐ก. ๐ |
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The cigarette you held in your hand burned slowly as you watched the smoke swirl in the air. The memory of Jungkook's intrusion replayed over and over in your mind. You found yourself creating scenarios on how you should have reacted. You envisioned yourself slapping him across the face and spitting at his feet in complete disgust, shouting at him and banging on his chest, getting ahold of anything within reach and throwing it in rage, causing as much damage as you possibly could. something, anything but reality. The reality that you found solace in that small contact and that thought repulsed you. If you couldn't keep yourself together from just a touch on the cheek, how did you plan to achieve anything to bring that family down?ย
Where did that reaction even come from? For an entire year, you had repelled the thought of being close to that man. Finding ways to avoid him entirely. Jungkook and his family had turned your life upside down and never for a moment did you ever consider that within your hatred lived a deep desire to be wanted. Sure, you had tried in the beginning to form some kind of connection, but he had never caused this kind of turmoil within you before.
You took another drag from the cigarette and inhaled slowly, shutting your eyes and wincing to yourself. You had to gather the bit of shame you had left and continue, there was no time for self-loathing or pity. Fine you had a moment of weakness, you are human after all and sometimes you are allowed to break but what you had done, what you had demonstrated to Jungkook was that he could play with you whenever he pleased and that, that you couldn't allow. As difficult as it proved to be, you needed to be as empty as him. It was the only way this plan would work.ย
โMrs. Y/nโ Ha-yoon called for you. You hummed in response as you leaned your head against the lounge chair in which you sat; a blanket comfortably laid on your lamp. โYour assistant has arrived, along with your stylist to prepare you for this eveningโ she spoke urgently. You closed your eyes for a moment and smirked. You had been more than reluctant to attend the rather infernal event but after some thought, you couldn't see why you couldn't turn this into something beneficial.ย
As you had assumed, if the Jeon family was planning this whole dinner, then they, of course, would not miss the opportunity of inviting all the important members of their inner circle. After all their reputation was everything, and what better than to show off the close-knit harmonious family they had created. Attending this event would allow you to meet every single person who had aided the Jeon family in building the criminal empire they now had.ย
They would have your full attention, you were looking forward to networking with every one of them, gaining their good graces and trust. This was a key step in your plan, you were sure that within that empire existed at least someone who hated them as much as you and if they didn't hate them, then at least they envied them. One thing you were sure of and itโs that tonight you had something to gain and what thrill did it bring. without noticing, the Jeon family had just aided you in their downfall.ย
โBring them in Ha-yoon, I need to look spectacular tonightโ you smiled.ย
Ha-yoon furrowed her brows for a moment, confusion overtaking her expression. โAre you sure youโre okay Mrs. Y/n?โ she asked. She had heard the entire altercation in the morning even if it was against her will, the screams between you and Jungkook had poured out of the dining room and into the vast spaces in the home. Ha-yoon had wanted to interrupt and bring some kind of peace amidst the war that had taken place, but she was hesitant. unsure of how her intrusion would sit with Jungkook. Afterward, she had heard the rushed steps of Jungkook and the loud slamming of the door as he stormed out of the house and then your agonizing screams as you threw every single plate of food across the room.ย
The woman who now sat calmly with a radiant smile was a stranger to the woman who had destroyed the dining room in a rage only a few hours ago. ย
You blinked, your smile faltering for just a moment. โOf course, Ha-yoon why wouldn't I be?โ you questioned, leaning your head to the side. Ha-yoon fiddled with her apron and then shook her head. โNothing Mrs. Y/n, I will allow them insideโ She bowed quickly and rushed out of the room. You took a deep breath dropping your smile and proceeded to put out your cigarette. Of course, you werenโt okay but falling back into your routine, you pretended like nothing had happened.
Soon your room was occupied by Myung and your stylist. They carried large shopping bags and hangers with flashy dresses. You stood up from where you sat on your balcony and entered the room. โY/n, my love!โ your stylist cheered as you walked inside. He threw his arms around you and hugged you tightly. You giggled into his embrace โHey Si-wooโ you breathed.
โI have so many beautiful options for you, I want you to look like the baddest bitch on the planetโ he beamed which caused you to smile. โI donโt doubt it for a second, Si-wooโ you replied. Si-woo had been your event stylist for years now, even before your marriage, and was one of the only personnel you had been allowed to keep after the union. You entrusted him with everything regarding your style, Si-woo being the only one who understood what you liked and felt comfortable in.
โHe went crazy at the store, Maโamโ Myung confirmed as she prepared the table for your makeup. โMe? Go crazy at the store how unusualโ Si-woo retorted with sarcasm. You laughed loudly and Myung smiled shyly like she always did. โHere, come look at these dressesโ he said whilst ushering you to sit on your bed, he quickly began rummaging through the rack he had brought in, pushing past some of the gowns that hung there.
โThis one is my favoriteโ he cried out as he held out a sequin golden dress, his eyes glowed as he unzipped it from its bag. โOscar De La Renta of courseโ he marveled.
ย โIt has a hand-embroidered sequin wave pattern with scallop details and a construction to accentuate your gorgeous waistโ he waved as he danced around the room with the gown.
ย For the first time since the day had begun, you felt at ease, Si-woo always managed to make you forget all your worries with his styling and charisma. โItโs strapless to show off those sexy shoulders you have, and a dramatic front slit to give it a cheeky touchโ he concluded, holding up the gown to your eyes.
โWhat do we think?โ he asks, raising his eyebrows. You nodded quickly โI love it, it's truly incredibleโ you approved which made him jump in excitement. โI knew it, as soon as I saw it on display, I knew you would love it!โ he exclaimed.
โI uhm I was under the impression you would be matching with Mr. Jeon, Maโamโ Myung spoke quietly from where she stood. Si-woo scoffed and rolled his eyes โMyung, please keep your dreadful comments to yourself, if anything it should be Jungkook who would need to be matching with our queen and savior Y/nโ he snapped back, glaring at Myung.
You wanted to burst into laughter but withheld from such a reaction, partly because it was rude and then because Myung did have a point. If you were to attend this dinner and gain the trust of the Jeonโs inner circle you needed to give the elution of a partnership with your husband and as strange as it sounded, you were aware that matching with your significant other was an indication of that. You sighed and gave Si-woo a shy stare. He shook his head and hung the dress back onto the rack.
โdonโt do this to me Y/n, I have the perfect heels and accessories for this dressโ he whined. He looked back at Myung with distaste and exasperated dramatically. โWell, what is this man wearing thenโ he asked, his hand still gripping the dress. โHe will be wearing a black suit along with a dark green undershirt and a black tieโ Myung spoke, her voice carrying excitement.
Si-woo looked around in desperation โOh my god, borrinnnnngggโ he almost yelled, causing a giggle to fall from your lips. โI will not have Y/n looking bland, she is everything but, okay?โ he voiced as he pointed at where you sat. โListen how about you get those little fingers moving and advise his stylist to just put some golden accessories on that suit for god's sake and call it a dayโ he concluded. Myung appeared nervous but nodded.
The smile that Si-woo produced afterwards couldโve blinded the sun itself as he reached for your arm. โlet's go! We have but a few hours and although you are gorgeous, we need these people to drool over you!โ you allowed him to guide you into the makeup chair proceeding to work on your hair and make-up.
After some time, there was a knock on the door and Ha-yoon stepped inside holding a tray of snacks and tea. โHello Maโam, I couldnโt help but notice you hadnโt eaten today, I wanted to bring you some refreshmentsโ she informed you as she laid the tray next to you. you gave her a bright smile and reached forth for a small sandwich โThank you so much Ha-yoon you are a lifesaverโ you spoke, taking a bite โBetween this and the medicine Nali brought into my room this morning, what would I do without you girlsโ you rejoiced.
โOh,โ Ha-yoon spoke, a small smile forming on her lips. โNo need Maโam, actually the medicine was Mr. Jeon's idea, he made sure you were taken care of this morningโ she disclosed, your jaw halted as you swallowed the rest of the sandwich harshly down your throat. โCome again?โ you asked, blinking quickly. โYes Maโam, he made sure to come into the kitchen and instructed us to ensure you received medicine for your headacheโ Ha-yoon confirmed.
You sat still as Si-woo curled another strand from your hair. You remained taken aback by the words Ha-yoon had said. What did he gain from doing that? You were sure he didn't care for you at all, so what was the real reason behind this sudden act of concern towards you?
โSeems to me like the man has finally grown a heartโ Si-woo voiced, looking at you through the mirror. You shook your head and looked back at Ha-yoon, you had no time to think about these things or the reasoning behind them. Maybe it was true he had grown a heart or maybe he just wanted to ensure you were coherent enough to put up with the atrocious conversation you had shared. You chose the ladder.
An idea settled into your head as you watched Ha-yoon shift uncomfortably in place.
โHey Ha-yoon, how well do you know the associates at the Jeon company?โ you asked, Ha-yoon looked up quickly โI uhm only met them a handful of times when they visited Mr. Jeon's father at his residence, I really donโt know much Maโamโ she expressed, shrugging slightly. You hummed โSurely you would be able to tell me their names if you saw them, right?โ you implied. She nodded innocently โOf course Maโam, it was our duty to learn the names of those who visited the Jeon residence in order for us to provide a much more comfortable visitโ she confirmed. You smirked wickedly and looked back at yourself in the mirror.
You were sure Ha-yoon knew much more than she was letting on, she had access to endless conversations and undisclosed information. Her profession allowed her to hear many things whilst serving the men their tea or coffee and thatโs exactly what you needed this evening. You needed to know how to work them. what their interests were and how they handled themselves. โSi-wooโ you called for your stylist whose head popped up from behind you as he clipped some of your hair back. โYes?โ he spoke softly with a smile.
โWe have a dress Ha-yoon could wear tonight, donโt we?โ you asked, raising your brow slightly. He glanced at Ha-yoon for a moment almost as if he was taking measurements with his eyes. โHer bust is a bit smaller than yours, but we could make it workโ he answered, looking over at the rack of dresses. โperfectโ you grinned as you looked at Ha-yoon once more. She looked frightened almost as if you had threatened her life.
โI-Iโm sorry, w-what?โ she stammered, her hands holding onto her apron tightly. โNo worries my Ha-yoon tonight you will be my confidantโ you assured her โYou see I just need a little guidance.โ
Her terrified eyes looked into yours without blinking, like a deer caught in between headlights.
โDonโt you worry darling, I will have you looking radiant!โ Si-woo promised, finishing the last touches on your hair. You nodded persuasively towards Ha-yoon. โradiantโ you mouthed as her cheeks grew flushed.
Just as promised, Si-woo had completed his craft impeccably not only making you appear absolutely stunning but completely changing Ha-Yoonโs look. You barely recognized her in the long black gown and foxy make-up. You watched Ha-Yoon as she looked over her dress timidly, rubbing her arms slightly. You could tell she was not used to this level of glamour.
After some time, you noticed a smile forming on her lips as she brushed her hands through her short hair. You stepped towards her and mirrored her smile.
You tapped on her shoulder softly and she turned around to look at you, her lips pressing together. โYou look beautifulโ you almost whispered. โThank You, Maโamโ she bowed, her face growing red. โIโve never worn anything so niceโ she confided which caused your smile to widen.
โI want you to have fun tonightโ you confessed. โof course, I'll need your assistance from time to time but I truly just want you to enjoy yourself,โ you wrapped your arms around her frame whilst turning her towards the mirror once again as you both shared smiles in the reflection.
โMaโam, the car is hereโ Myung spoke, you dropped your arms from where they held Ha-yoon and gave her a reassuring nod before reaching for your clutch and walking out of the room. Ha-Yoon would be the perfect help tonight. She was someone who wouldnโt question your motives and would provide the exact information you needed. She would play a major role in your success and freedom, and she didnโt even know it.
ย The driver held the door open as you strutted into the car, Ha-yoon following suit behind you.
โMaโam I will be making a stop just a block away from the event, your husband will be waiting for you in another carโ the driver spoke, beginning to drive away from your residence. You rolled your eyes and peered through the tinted windows disinterested in the theatrics. The show had commenced, even if you hadnโt seen Jungkook since this morning you had to give the illusion that you had arrived together like the happy couple you appeared to be.
โMaโam, are you sure this is okay?โ Ha-yoon whispered beside you, you looked over at her and nodded with a smile โDonโt worry Ha-yoon this event is for me, I can bring whomever I wantโ you reassured her. You reached for her hand and squeezed it softly. โdonโt be nervous, okay?โ she nodded quickly but you could still tell she was overthinking the entire thing much like you tended to do. For some reason, you were at ease. Having a plan in mind for tonight kept you focused, not allowing doubt to seep in as it usually did during these kinds of things.
The ride to the event was quiet, your eyes remained fixed on the cars passing by and the city lights, you werenโt going to allow anyone to ruin this for you. This was an important night for you even if it was for completely different reasons. Whilst everyone celebrated your anniversary you were confident you would soon find an acquaintance, whoever it turned out to be.
The car stopped a corner away from the hall just as instructed. The driver stepped out and quickly went to your door, holding it open for you. you gave Ha-yoon one last reassuring smile before getting out. Waiting for you were 2 bodyguards. They led you to a car which you assumed was Jungkookโs. His driver stood there patiently and opened the door for you as you neared the all-black SUV, you took one last glance at the car in which Ha-yoon sat before stepping inside. ย
Jungkook sat silently, looking out of his window. You adjusted yourself in the seat and cleared your throat to make your presence known, not that he would acknowledge it. Just as Myung had described, he wore an all-black suit with a green shirt and a black tie with the difference of a golden silk handkerchief in his front pocket and a golden pin with his family crest on it.
You noticed his new haircut, and how different he appeared with short hair. The last time he had worn it this way was for your wedding, you recalled how handsome he had looked that day as your father walked you down the aisle. The same warm feeling you had felt this morning surged through you and you felt your heart skip a beat. You looked away quickly, unwilling to entertain whatever this was forming in your chest but you couldnโt ignore the exhilaration the smell of his cologne caused you.
You held onto your clutch tightly and soon that feeling of ease you carried began to disappear. You attempted to grasp onto it for as much time as you could but the calmness which you had been so proud of just minutes before quickly left your body the moment you sat next to your husband.
Once again you felt like you were walking on eggshells. You tried to keep as much distance between you, trying to focus on anything else but the man sitting beside you. You could feel his eyes on you now as they scanned the dress you wore. It was as if he was undressing you, his stare ripping into whatever skin was exposed. You could sense he was about to say something but just as his lips parted, the car pulled into the entrance of where the dinner would be held.
Upon your arrival, you were quickly blinded by the flashing of camera lights. Your eyes widened in shock at the realization of what awaited you outside the car. โWhat?โ you whispered, looking out of the window at the paparazzi that stood there, cameras in hand. You were unaware the media would be here, assuming this would be a private event, but you were mistaken. Your grip on your clutch grew tighter as you attempted to gather your thoughts.
You hated them.
at the beginning of your marriage, they had made it their top priority to write vile tabloids about you, all pointing out how you werenโt enough for a man like Jungkook. Reading those articles caused you to swallow the little confidence you had back then, the words they had published ensured you questioned your self-worth. They dissected each one of your insecurities and then displayed them in sections of magazines for everyone to see. You grew sick at the sound of their clicking cameras as they called out your name. At that moment, all you wanted was for the car to drive away.
Your thoughts were interrupted by the door swinging open, the cold air smacking you in the face. Jungkook stood there, his hand held out for you. You hadnโt even noticed that he wasnโt sitting beside you anymore.
ย It became hard to breathe, hearing them much clearer now.
โY/n come out; we want to see you.โ
โJungkook, how is married life?โ
You looked up at Jungkook, your eyes wide open and you were hesitant to hold his hand. The very hand that had graced your cheek only a few hours ago, the same hand that had wiped away tears that he had caused. He recognized your panicked stare, the way you couldnโt focus as the lights blurred your vision. He reached for you and softly pulled you out of the car.
You couldnโt make out the voices around you as your ears ringed, the dress that you swore fit comfortably just a moment before, was now too tight. You felt the material grip your waist harshly while pressing down on your ribs and you swore given the chance, you wouldโve ripped it off at that very moment. ย
Jungkook led you onto the carpet and his arm wrapped around you as he smiled for the cameras. Yet, you couldnโt register his touch or the proximity he had as your chest pressed into his. You were too focused on surviving.
You couldnโt breathe.
ย you felt like the air had been sucked straight out of the atmosphere. Your hands grew clammy as the cameras continued to flash and your eyes couldnโt focus. You had never had a panic attack like this before. They usually came in waves and had never been as intense as this. For the most part, you were always alone, in a far quieter space. You had become great at calming yourself down but the voices around you were too loud as they consumed you, not allowing you to hear yourself.
โY/n, smile for the camera!โ
โLook here!โ
โYou look stunning Y/n!โ
โWho dressed you tonight?โ
โYou look thinner Y/n!โ
โAnswer some questions for us!โ
You felt the world caving in on you, sure that at any moment you would drop dead.
ย your hand gripped tightly onto the arm Jungkook had wrapped around your waist, your nails digging into the skin of his forearm. His eyes scanned your face, your skin had grown pale and you struggled to catch your breath. Your eyes soon swelled with tears as you looked around like a lost child.
You closed them for a moment, trying to ground yourself. You felt humiliated, you were becoming undone in front of the very people who had destroyed you with their words and you couldnโt take your control back. Couldnโt be the strong woman you so desperately yearned to be.
โHey,โ Jungkook whispered into your ear as he pressed his forehead against the side of your face. โheyโ he called once again. You opened your eyes and looked at him. his eyes locking with yours. They focused only on you. In them, you noticed warmth and calmness. โHey, look at meโ he instructed you, his voice being the only one you could make out amidst the noise around you.
You stayed there, secured in his eyes. He offered you a small smile โFocus on me, you hear me?โ he encouraged, and you felt your grip on his forearm loosen as you slowly caught your breath. The feeling of oxygen entering your lungs eased the burning that your panic attack had caused in them.
โFocus only on meโ he continued, ensuring you were now breathing with ease. He watched your chest rise and fall and then held onto your hand. โI didnโt know they would invite the mediaโ he confessed, his eyes stayed with yours and you knew he was telling the truth. You nodded slowly whilst he nodded with you, confirming you knew he was just as surprised as you.
โCome on, let's goโ he ordered, gripping your hand tightly in his and leading you away from the cameras and finally into the hall.
You grew disoriented whilst attempting to get your breathing rhythm back. As you stepped inside, several attendees began to approach you and Jungkook. He greeted them politely, his grip on your hand never lessening. they tried to conversate with you as well, but you couldnโt make out their words while your heart pounded loudly in your chest.
โPlease excuse my wife, she is not very used to the attentionโ Jungkook spoke and finally you began to register your surroundings. You quickly let go of his hand and lowered your gaze whilst he looked back at where his hand remained, empty without yours in it.
โLet go of meโ you muttered.
You were dumbfounded by his actions, the way he talked you through your panic attack, and the way he held onto your hand as if he was protecting you. You didnโt recognize this version of him now. he had never shielded you in this way before.
But then it clicked, this had to be for show. Of course, that could be the only reason.
He had to make sure your little scene didnโt ruin his image or his family name. He was obliged to portray himself as a caring and attentive husband for everyone to see. After all, that is the only thing that ever mattered. You blinked away and looked around the room.
The space had already been filled with men in suits and women in extravagant gowns, there were waiters in black tuxedos holding trays of various aperitives and champagne glasses. Flower arrangements decorated the center of each table that had been laid out with white covers and the chairs that were wrapped in the same color had red bows tied at the back.
This reminded you too much of your wedding day, the entire thing had been a blur but tonight, the memories were coming back. You could tell everything had been meticulously planned, all the way down to the gold cutlery that was laid on each table.
Your eyes quickly scanned the room, attempting to find Ha-yoon. You were losing precious time and again, you couldnโt sit around and dwell on whatever Jungkook was trying to do. You hoped that he had received enough material for his role of the caring husband and opted to leave you alone. You had way more important things to tend to tonight. Whatever it was he was trying to obtain by the sudden demonstration of affection, would have to wait.
You spotted Ha-yoon standing alone by the bar, her hands holding onto a glass of water whilst fidgeting with the straw. You almost ran towards her, your heels clashing against the marveled floors. She noticed you before you reached her, her eyes widening and a sigh of relief flowing past her lips.
โMrs. Y/nโ she yelled; you gave her a smile finally standing before her. โThank you for waiting Ha-yoon, I hope you werenโt alone for too longโ you apologized. She put the glass in her hand down and shook her head. โit's fine, Mrs. Y/n I know you are a busy womanโ she justified.
โbut I'm just still a bit confused on why you needed me here tonightโ she proceeded to say, her voice carrying doubt. You smirked and grabbed one of the champagne glasses from a waiter who passed by.
โYou will be helping me with a very serious task tonight, Ha-yoonโ you responded, taking a sip of the bubbly drink. โI am unfortunately not able to disclose the reason behind my request, but I need you to introduce me to every single person in this room, not physically of course, that I will do on my own, but I do need you to tell me who everyone isโ you explained, tilting your head towards her.
She laughed nervously and looked back at the attendees. โOh Maโam, here I was worried you were going to give me a task I would struggle withโ she spoke confidently. You raised your brows at the sudden change in her demeanor. โEveryone here is a familiar face; they visited the Jeons frequentlyโ she continued.
โPerfect!โ You cheered, you reached to interlock your arm with hers and began walking around the room. You could feel the guests glancing at you and whispering to each other. For a moment you felt self-conscious, but you held your head up high as you drank from your glass from time to time. It almost felt surreal how everyone here knew exactly who you were while they remained strangers to you. knowledge was power and soon, you would be holding a bit of your own.
โThat man there is Kim Taehyung, he has been friends with Mr. Jungkook since childhood and you could say they are closeโ Ha-yoon pointed out. You followed her finger and landed on a handsome man. he stood comfortably in the center of the room; appearing relaxed in the conversation he held with a woman. โClose friends?โ you asked, your eyes narrowing in on him.
โYes, Maโam. His father is the owner of the Monaco Towerโ she continued, information flowing past her lips without much persuasion. It was bewildering to you how detached you and Jungkook were, how he was able to have people in his life that you had never heard of. he lived this whole separate life outside of your marriage whilst yours had been shaped all around this union.
โHow close?โ you asked. You needed to know how willing this man would be to help your cause, was he a friend or a foe? โVery close, theyโve been glued to the hip since they were in diapersโ Ha-Yoon adverted, glancing at you. You frowned slightly; he was a friend then. ย
โLet's move alongโ you instructed, proceeding with your research. Along the way Ha-yoon continued to point out various guests, most of them having a long history with the Jeons. You began to grow doubtful that you would find anyone to aid you, from what Ha-yoon had disclosed almost everyone here was loyal to Jungkook and his family and would have a lot more to lose if their criminal enterprise happened to crumble.
You ditched the empty glass of champagne in your hand and grabbed another, taking a few sips hoping that it would soothe the tension you felt. You sighed and halted your steps, your feet aching from walking in circles. โAll right, we can take a break Ha-yoonโ you breathed. Gulping down the rest of the champagne.
ย โYou appear disappointed Maโamโ Ha-yoon spoke, her worried eyes taking in your tired appearance. You took a deep breath and closed your eyes. You were frustrated. How was the Jeon family able to run such a tight ship? ย Even the biggest criminal organizations had friends willing to betray them and here was Ha-yoon telling you no one here was willing to even step out of line?
โSort of, yeahโ you breathed, opening your eyes and looking around anxiously. โWere you looking to meet someone in particular?โ she asked, she looked around in the same manner as you, her eyes scanning the room carefully. You huffed and shook your head โIt doesnโt matter now; I donโt think that anyone here is the someone I'm looking forโ you exasperated.
โWell, if you can be a bit more specific then I can maybe try to help you find whomever this person isโ Ha-yoon spoke, growing anxious at the thought of letting you down. Your eyes focused on her as you contemplated your next words.
You were more than reluctant to tell her the truth. You wanted to involve the least amount of people that you cared about in this plan. Not only would you be putting them at risk, but you would be involving them in something you couldnโt guarantee the outcome of. Yet, it appeared like you had no other choice, you would just have to share a bit more information. Maybe, if you told her a bit more, she would catch on to what you truly needed.
โI need to find someone who would be willing to betray the Jeon familyโ You hesitated, your stare growing dark as the words fell from your lips.
Ha-Yoon stood in silence for a moment, mouth agape. Your confession had left her stunned, she looked into your eyes for a moment taking in the utter determination in them, and then her gaze fell onto the floor. She bit down on her lip and gulped. โMaโam a-are you sure?โ she whispered.
The question was innocent, but it carried weight. It was not asking you if you were in the mood to meet someone new or hold a conversation with a stranger. It was one Ha-Yoon asked out of fear, as she had realized the real reason you had brought her here. The real reason behind why you were so eager to attend this dinner in the first place. It had finally registered in her mind that you were about to begin a dangerous game, one you might not have been prepared to play.
Were you sure?
โyesโ you affirmed, the words escaping your mouth without delay.
She lifted her stare and nodded slowly. She kept her composure but through her eyes, you could see the worry, the fear, and the utter shock of the discovery she had just made. She turned her head slightly and her eyes looked toward the corner of the room, words werenโt needed as you followed her frightened stare.
In that very corner, stood a man which you hadnโt noticed before. He was alone, only being accompanied by a half-empty glass of what appeared to be whiskey. He had jet-black hair that shadowed his features. From this distance, you could pick out his menacing glare as he scanned the room.ย One of his hands remained buried into the pocket of his suit whilst the other held his drink. He was visibly uncomfortable and out of place. His stance of someone ready to fight at any moment.
โIf you are looking for someone who would undoubtedly betray the Jeon family, then there's no one better for that role than that manโ Ha-yoon informed you. your eyes remained on him, watching his movements. โWho is he?โ you asked, studying his appearance.
โHis name is Min Yoongiโ she spoke, a chill crawling up her spine. โHis father and Mr. Jungkook's father used to be best friends and ultimately business partnersโ she continued, in a hushed tone. โUsed to? What happened?โ you inquired. Your heart began to beat quickly, the hope you had lost returning into your heart. โWell, the last time I saw his father he was arguing with Mr. Jeon about some deal they had made and apparently there were some money issuesโ Ha-yoon recalled.
You were practically drooling, you knew it. you knew that there would be someone who the Jeon family had fucked over just like you. The ease with which they destroyed and stepped over your own family came with experience.
โNext thing we heard, his father had passed in a rather questionable car accidentโ Ha-yoon continued, you snapped your head in her direction. โAn accident?โ your eyes widened, taken aback by the details. โYes, one night while his father was driving, a semi-truck slammed into his car, killing him on impactโ She nodded. โAnd well Mr. Min never came to terms with his death, he had busted into the Jeonโs home screaming bloody murder, threatening to kill all of them to avenge the murder of his father, it was really uglyโ Ha-yoon winced. ย
โWell, how is he here then? I doubt the Jeon family would take those kinds of threats lightlyโ you commented. You knew this family to be ruthless and threats of any kind were always dealt with. โthatโs the thing Mrs. Y/n, they have no other option but to work togetherโ Ha-Yoon shrugged โMr. Min holds the most amount of shares in the company and almost all the board members are just too scared of himโ she concluded.
You couldnโt contain the smile that appeared on your face, you stepped forward without a second thought. You wanted to jump in excitement, to celebrate the gem you had discovered. The man who stood in solitude was the answer to all your prayers, he existed just for you. He was wrapped in a bow like a present sent from heaven above.
Suddenly you felt Ha-yoon grip your arm tightly, stopping you right in your tracks. โAre you crazy, Maโamโ she almost yelled, her eyes widened as she looked at you. โThat man is dangerous, do you see anyone else speaking to him?โ She spoke quickly, looking around to ensure no one could hear your conversation. You huffed and softly removed her hand from your arm. โI'm a big girl Ha-yoon, I can take care of myselfโ you announced, turning on your heel and walking towards the corner.
Yoongi remained motionless; his eyes fixed on Jungkookโs father as he spoke to some of the guests. As you stepped closer, a haunting feeling began to take shape within you, losing courage as you neared him. You started to overthink, perhaps this wasnโt the best moment to approach him, but the bait was just too good, you needed to say something, anything. You needed him to recognize that within these walls existed 2 people who wanted to bring the Jeons to their end, you and him.
He only noticed you once you were a few feet away, his brows furrowed as he glared at you. He appeared angry, angry at you. You stopped in front of him and the words you had practiced saying on your way over, had vanished from your mind. You were silent and you concluded by the way he looked at you that you looked completely dense.
From this distance, you noticed a scar that you hadnโt been able to notice from afar. It stretched from above his eyebrow down to his cheek and it only made him look that much more intimidating.
Was it caused by the accident? Was he in the car with his father?
The questions flowed across your head as you kept glancing at it, it looked painful, but it didnโt take away from his attractiveness. He raised his eyebrows as he waited for words to formulate in your mind. You blinked and opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out.
โCan I help you?โ he asked, his voice low and raspy.
โoh,โ you managed to emit. Your cheeks grew flushed from embarrassment and for a moment you were inclined to walk away without saying anything else. But you had a plan and Yoongi was perfect for it, you couldnโt fuck this up. You had everything you wanted standing right in front of you. ย
He was well-connected and feared, but most importantly he hated Jungkook and his family just like you. you could see it in his eyes, the way they burned with detestation when he looked at them, they resembled yours.
You extended your hand and smiled โHello, I'm Y/nโ you said, introducing yourself. He looked down at your hand and then back at you, not moving an inch.
โI know who you areโ he answered.
You fidgeted in place, dropping your extended arm and biting softly on your lip.
โOh, um well I just wanted to come by and say helloโ you explained, further embarrassment drifting inside of you. his eyes narrowed on you, his head tilting slightly as if he was trying to decipher you then he scoffed, a small smirk appearing on his face.
โTook you long enoughโ he noted.
You stared puzzled, unable to make out what he meant by that statement. Did he know your real intentions? He downed the rest of his whiskey and signaled one of the waiters for another. He looked back at you and licked his lips before speaking again.
โYou are Jungkook's wife, right?โ he asked, he grinned once he noticed how you tensed at the mention of your husband's name. โI noticed you staring at me for a whileโ he pointed out. You wanted the earth to crack open and swallow you whole. This was humiliating, he must've thought you were a weird housewife gossiping with Ha-Yoon, not that it was far from the truth.
โI apologize, I'm just trying to get to know everyone hereโ you replied quickly, trying to save yourself from further shame. He nodded in understanding and hummed.
โI see, well Iโm Min Yoongi,โ he said, now extending his hand out to you. You received it in yours and gave it a small shake. He smirked once again, his eyes studying your body language.
โYou still didnโt answer my questionโ he teased while letting go of your hand. You took a deep breath and produced a small smile before clearing your throat. โYes, Iโm Jungkookโs wifeโ you responded. He chuckled lowly and watched as the waiter sat his next drink on the table next to him.
โIt's hard to say it, isnโt it?โ he asked, you blinked slowly trying to find the right answer in your head. โIโm just not used to saying it, thatโs allโ you confided. He took a gulp from his drink and then stepped closer to you.
โYou donโt need to lie, Iโm not the police,โ he said, provoking chills to run through your body.
โyouโve been here for almost an hour and whilst your husband holds meaningless conversations with these hounds, he hasnโt once glanced in your directionโ he continued. โYou may be matching which by the way, is rather cute,โ he says whilst he smirks. โBut you fidget with the wedding ring on your finger which can only mean you arenโt used to wearing it.โ
You look down at the ring that sits on your left hand, glistening under the lights. You grow nervous, biting down on your lip, then look back at him.
โAnd you didnโt approach me because you are lonely and have finally found the courage to cheat on your prick of a husbandโ he chuckles at his own words and then takes another gulp from his drink. โNo, you are here for something elseโ he notes. You stand there as he strips away at your layers, beckoning the truth from you without even having to hear you speak.
โYou admit youโre his wife and the words burn your tongueโ he concludes.
Your breath hitches in your throat and you remain silent. He finishes the rest of his drink and stands there, continuing to study your reaction. Perhaps you werenโt ready, all the internal preparation you had done in advance had been worthless. This conversation had gone completely differently in your mind and now that you stood before him, with nothing to say you grew afraid you would lose the opportunity to persuade him to work with you.
From across the room, Jungkook laughed as he spoke to Taehyung.
โHey, when are you going to introduce me to that wife of yours?โ Taehyung asked, smiling at his best friend.
โOh shit, youโre right!โ Jungkook gasped.
โCome on bro, itโs been almost a year and all I've seen are picturesโ Taehyung complained as he smacked Jungkook's arm.
His eyes scanned the room but couldnโt make you out amongst the crowd of guests. He continued to search, spotting Ha-yoon standing alone by one of the tables. She looked anxious whilst holding a glass of champagne that remained untouched.
โIโll go find her,โ he said, excusing himself from the conversation and walking towards Ha-yoon.
As he neared her, he noticed her eyes remained anchored in a corner of the room. He followed her stare and was finally able to spot you. he smirked to himself and changed directions to where you stood but the closer, he got, the more he could make out who you spoke with. A boiling-hot Pressure began to form in his chest and his steps picked up their pace. His eyes darkened at the sight before him, and he couldnโt focus on anything else.
He didnโt like that Yoongi was talking to his wife and he didnโt like how close he was standing in front of you but what he couldnโt stand the most was the way you looked at Yoongi. In a way, you had never looked at him.
-
๐ฐ๐จ๐๐ก, ๐ญ๐ก๐๐ญ ๐ฐ๐๐ฌ ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ญ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ?
๐ข ๐ก๐จ๐ฉ๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐๐ง๐ฃ๐จ๐ฒ๐๐! ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฏ๐ ๐ฆ๐ ๐๐จ๐ฆ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ข๐ญ๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ ๐จ๐ฉ๐ข๐ง๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ & ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ค ๐ข ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ก๐๐๐ซ ๐๐ซ๐จ๐ฆ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ!
๐ฌ๐๐ง๐ ๐๐ง ๐๐ฌ๐ค/๐๐ฆ ๐ข๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ฐ๐จ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ค๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐ญ๐ก๐ ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ! ๐๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐ฅ๐๐๐ฌ๐ ๐ฅ๐๐ญ ๐ฆ๐ ๐ค๐ง๐จ๐ฐ ๐ข๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ ๐ซ๐๐ช๐ฎ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ญ๐จ ๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ข๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ฒ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ
ยฉ ๐๐ซ๐๐ฏ๐๐ญ๐ข๐ฏ๐, ๐๐ฅ๐ฅ ๐ซ๐ข๐ ๐ก๐ญ๐ฌ ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐๐ซ๐ฏ๐๐.
๐๐๐ ๐ฅ๐ข๐ฌ๐ญ:
@ane102,@thisartemisnevermisses,@jamlessstars,@cookysstuff,@gyeomibearr,@multiasf ,@lydinews,@vminkookgf,@chl0buggy, @peterstarkchrishiddleston , @koostrawberry , @jcrl99 , @coree730 , @melodiesforari , @taemond-in-the-ruff , @whoa-jo @jksusawife , @hoseoksluv89 , @piecesofapril11 , @coralmusicblaze , @junecat18 , @amiradumas , @mageprincess7 , @heartjiminie , @parkinglot-nights , @douknowbts , @str4gguk
[based on k.drama; my secret romance - all base ideas credited to the drama]
โ> after a one night stand with rich boy kim taehyung by the seaside you run away before he wakes up and never see him again. until two years later and heโs your new boss.
โ> taehyung x f.reader, one night stand, alcohol consumption, light smut, mature
Serving The Devil - MainList
Genre: Enemies to lovers (?), boss x employee relationship, eventual smut, angst
Warnings: Yandere trends, possessiveness, abuse of authority, explicit language, controlling Taehyung, sweet reader, DUBCON, violence, abusive relationship
Pair: Idol! Kim Taehyung x Staff! Reader
Summary: Each of the BTS members has their own personal assistant, that person responsible for keeping their costumes clean, making sure they stick to all the schedules of the day, make payments to gossip sites whenever something that shouldn't be publicized comes out in magazines... Anyway, it does everything from buying their food to cleaning their apartments.
And you, as Kim Taehyung's assistant, on top of that, have to deal with his complicated personality and his constant task of complicating your work. You think your boss hates you, but on a trip to Paris things can change.
Prologue
Chapter I - In July
Chapter II - Coming soon
Chapter III - Coming soon...
divider by @straywords
tag list:
@ymrai @oldermenluverrr @appachicken @taenosaurrr @prajusstuff @happyyappysworld @jooniesbigroundtiddies @evil-ian @hishrvkajajquv @turnthepageandbeburnt @softie00 @peachescream1723 @israak @bluelesbiann @asecrethideoutforapersonlikemeh
๐ if you were my boyfriendโฆ and you were my girlfriendโฆ
when renowned fuckboy jeon jeongguk catches feelings, he loses his mind. only when it comes to you, though.
based on this ask
from the grande series เญจเง
pairing: fuckboy!jk x fem!reader
genre: fwb au
warnings: small smutty moments (cunnilingus, fingering, tiny boob play), angst, fluffi maybe idk, whipped and jelly koo, ft. namjoon!!!, oblivious oc, deep down she feels it too but jk is simply too much of a simp so it doesnโt look like it at first, heโs also so petty and sassy, jokes about ending it if oc doesnโt give him a chance </3, heโs just a little shit, peep the lyrics from boyfriend hehe, oh btw happy ending!!!
word count: 18k
a/n: wowww iโm so sorry for this pile of nonsense, itโs so bad i vomited a little in my mouth. i hate every single thing about it but i didnโt wanna leave you guys starved. i love u sm and thank u for the support, but uโre allowed to leave hate asks for what uโre about to read rn โค๏ธ also iโm SO SORRY for being unable to write a jungkook who isnโt a simp
๐ท๏ธ perm taglist: @ceellliiinee @jaytheatiny @dolligguk @luvismenu @theyloveyams @stillwjk-channie-lixie @bookstoread199 @girlygguk @vieviela @myngiii @angelxkoo @nnybtitts08 @mpbrinkss @https-mei @lyywst @mhdelu @apobangpogirlyyy @khadeeeeej @awrkive
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
Jeongguk was only supposed to clean you up. Thatโs what he calls it when his angelic face finds its place between your spread legs, sinful eyes locking with yours, paired with a smirk you can hardly ever survive.
After all, heโs a man of simple devices. Why bother fetching a towel when he can use his own mouth? When he can let his tongue lap at your juices, slurp every last trace, have an excuse to taste you again, and again, and again?
Itโs barely even effective as a way to clean you up, of drying the slick mess that sticks to your inner thighs from cumming three times under his merciless doingsโ you both know that. Then, how does he expect you not to break a fourth when he runs his wet muscle so torturously along your slit, getting ever more soaked?
Jeongguk is not really trying to end the night. Heโs drawing it out. He already had you unraveling in phasesโ first on his fingers, then all over his cupid lips, ending with you convulsating just another time around his thick length.
It was rough, left purplish marks of his harsh hold digging into your sides, a faint trace of a forbidden hickey just under your collarbones, where you can easily hide it.
In all fairness, he couldnโt help it.
It was you who provoked him. You always do, getting under his skin, teasing him about his skills, downgrading them with playful indifference and nothing more than a meh, as Jeongguk rasps in your ear, clearly affected by your session of foreplay when asking, โDoes this make you feel good?โ
Youโll be sent straight to hell for lying like that, with seemingly no remorse, but youโre unable to resist the dangerous game and the familiar thrill that comes from it. Nothing compares to the dark wave that takes over his hooded eyes, his motions ever more intentional, almost overwhelming.
He moves to prove something to you, to show you thereโs no one quite like him, even with all the guys in your phone, on your lips, inside your sheets.
Jeongguk is your fuckbuddy, and your friend on top of the rest. So, when he first laid his lips on yours, the bottom line plumper than his cupidโs bow, it had taken a great amount of alcohol to flow through both of your veins and blur the lines, let instinct take over.
From there, it was like you couldnโt help yourselves; the physical attraction was undeniable, itโs what brought you here in between the mess of his bed. If you ignore the silly crush you had on him during the first year of college, this was perfect.
Your fuckbuddy contract (Jeongguk hates calling you that, he prefers my friend who makes me cum a lot) includes a heavy emphasis on a no-strings-attached relationship, that can be interrupted whenever one of the two feels uncomfortable, and that should not come before your friendship. On top of all, you both are not exclusive. No commitment, no jealousy. Youโre perfectly free of meeting other people, fucking other people. Unless youโre going to date one of those, of course. Then, bye-bye friend who makes me cum a lot.
These rules were established almost a year ago, after your hands couldnโt help themselves from roaming hastily all over his body, pulling him impossibly closer. It was the second time you allowed yourself to feel him, following the night when he initiated things under the clouded lights of a club.
You couldnโt help it. You had been thinking of that moment for weeks now, and when you were left alone with him in his dorm room, pulse racing, itโs all your thoughts were reduced to. Kiss him, kiss him, fuck him.
You felt guilty. A friend shouldnโt be thinking of another friend like you were about Jeongguk. Especially after you promised yourself you wouldnโt let your buried crush resurface and ruin what you had builtโ even if the memory of that infatuation is honestly just laughable now (you would never think of dating him, pft).
But Jeongguk, ever the gentlest when it comes to you, assured you it was okay to feel as you did, because he felt it too. And was dying to touch you again. His words, not yours.
Itโs only sexual. A casual, sexual relationship. Two friends who happen to find each other irresistible.
So when he reacts with a flash of competitiveness at the mere suggestion he might not be the best youโve ever had, itโsโฆ weird, the feeling that overcomes you. You acknowledge it for a split second, as if youโre searching to name that something inside you stirring, but before you can, it seems to make you fall apart immediately, your grip tighter, back arched, moans high-pitched.
He basks in his silent victory, in the factual demonstration that he in fact canโt be compared to all your other guys.
Except, thereโs actually no other guys.
Back when this friends-with-benefits arrangement first started, you were occasionally fooling around with an older guy from campus named Mingyu. Jeongguk knew him, given that theyโre in the same photography class. He was also aware of your casual fling with him. And yet, Jeongguk still kissed you. Actually, did so much more than just that.
Either way, the line has always been clear: he has no right to question who you spend time with and what you engage in, Jeongguk isnโt a saint either.
You love him, you truly do. With time, he has become one of your closest friends, and you honestly canโt see yourself getting through college without him.
But thereโs no denying the fuckboy allegations, the ones that are constantly thrown at him all around campus. He is a fuckboy. It must be his easy charm, flirting as natural as breathing, tripping out his tongue with seemingly not much thought. At some point, the majority of the girls in your campus got to have their moment with Jeongguk, either because of mindless teasing or one night stands, occasionally turning into casual arrangements.
You have accepted it as part of who he is. You know his fuckboy habits havenโt magically changed when you two started fucking. He doesnโt really spend much time talking about it with you, occasionally mentioning his doings every now and then, but you donโt need to know; his friends and the people whispering in hallways and lecture halls fill in the blanks.
That is exactly why youโve let Jeongguk believe that your sexual life is equally as busy, floods of boys from your inbox to your sheets, as if you arenโt too much of a hopeless romantic to even think of anything that isnโt exclusively monogamous.
But this isnโt the case. Jeongguk isnโt yours, you arenโt his. Itโs just about sex, and youโve accepted that. You donโt want anything more from him. You tell yourself the only reason youโre not seeing anyone else is that the idea of it makes you uneasy. That youโre more than satisfied with Jeongguk being your friend-turned-into-fuckbuddy, and you donโt need other ones.
Jeongguk is more than enough. Oh, he is.
โFuck, Gguk. Youโre gonna make me cumโ Ah, shitโ again.โ
Your head is thrown back in his pillow, legs weakly tightening around his head nestled so close to your core, and itโs clear his goal has completely shifted from getting you clean and neat when the tip of his tongue moves to flicker on your sensitive nub, relentlessly abusing it with casual kissing and sucking.
He opens his mouth to take more of you, his wet muscle tracing your slit and teasing your entrance forโ sadly โthe shortest second, and the way he hums approvingly against you brings you even closer to the breaking point.
Youโre a fragile mess, overstimulated from the previous orgasms but desperate to chase yet another climax, his hands roaming up to find your breast only spurring you further.
Jeongguk knows you by now, and is aware of all the subtle gestures that make you come undone under him. He knows just what to do to push you over the edge, and when to do it exactly.
Youโre a sucker for dirty talk and praise, and occasionally, when the ideal situation comes, you love being degraded. Itโs a side of you that only ever arises during sex, mind hazed and irrational, the delirious need for release clouding all your usually composed senses.
At first, he teased you for it. Not because heโs not as much of a fan as you are of talking during sex, but because he never pictured you to be the loud type. And you truly are.
Jeongguk pinches your nipples in hopes of you getting the message and lowering your volume, but it only makes you whine higher, your moans surely not going unnoticed by the other students in the dorm.
It can only be worse when he decides to speak against you, his voice a low, almost unintelligible growl, โPussyโs so fuckinโ good. All mine, fuck. Want to taste your cum once again, cโmon babe. Give it to me.โ
And you, always obliging and well-behaved, let go for a fourth time, hips furiously rutting against his face, his words making your surroundings spin, the way his nose would brush your sensitive nub having your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Your gasp is strained when he retreats with one last wet stripe between your puffy lips, sealing the orgasm with a kiss on your clit, and when he finds your face again thereโs a cockish grin spreading across his, chin coated with your juices.
He immediately meets your mouth then, sharing your own taste, and you both moan shamelessly at the action.
Jeongguk collapses next to you, his body warm and relaxed, pulling you closer by your waist and almost making you straddle him with the force of his hold. He sighs into your hair, kissing the root of it, โYou did amazing for me, pretty girl.โ
A pleasant shiver runs down your spine at the praise and the pet name rolling off his tongue with ease. Itโs ridiculous.
With your cheek pressed against his chest, you glance up at him through your lashes and a lazy smile threatens to take over your face, but your playful pout is more prominent, almost convincing, โIโm never letting you do that trick on me again. Next time, Iโm just going to take a shower like a normal person.โ
The laugh he lets out is rich and unguarded, his chest rumbling under your ear, and it makes you pull away with a mock glare, brows knitted together as you swat at his toned stomach, โDonโt laugh. I hated that.โ
His dark eyes soften as they dance with amusement, the corners crinkling, and he hums, going along with your blatant lie from the way your lips struggle to contain a grin, โOh, absolutely. You were screaming in horror, couldnโt stand it.โ
โWhatever,โ you mutter incoherently, standing up to escape from the inevitable loss. The slick between your thighs reminds you of why you need that shower in the first place, causing you to awkwardly wobble your way to his bathroom.
Jeongguk watches you with a lopsided smirk, stretched out on the bed, his brown hair a messy halo on the pillow, and it completes the concept he goes perfectly with, the one of a devil dressed up as an angel, even more when his voice drips with faux desperation, โHey, come back. I need my cuddles.โ
โYouโll live,โ you toss back before pulling the door shut behind you and stepping into the warm embrace of the shower. The hot water stings at first, then soothes you, sliding down your skin.
Jeongguk already knows the outcome of what heโs about to do isnโt going to turn in his favor, but he tries his luck regardless, standing up hastily and limply making his way to his bathroom door.
He only knocks twice, then puts on his best begging voice, talking loud enough to be heard over the shower, โToots?โ
โNo!โ
A scoff filters through the steamy air, followed by the unmistakable creak of the door handle as he steps inside. Heโs relentless, voices his thoughts with the kind of logic only he would find convincing, โCโmon, weโll save water!โ
You stand with your back to him, his body wash traveling down your skin in soap bubbles, the scent filling the air, and you let your shoulders shrug. You donโt turn around. Number one, because youโll give in. Number two, because you can hear the pout on his lips, and thatโs the reason for number one.
You try your best to sound annoyed, โJeongguk, just leave. You donโt even pay for it.โ
โOur poor earth pays for it,โ he quips, stepping further into the cramped space, body still bare, and thatโs maybe a number three for you, โBecause you wanna be so unfair to your best friend and leave him out in the cold.โ
โYouโre not my best friend.โ
His gasp is dramatic, you even hear it echo through the tiny room, and you fight hard to contain the giggle locked inside you, but it escapes in the shape of a snort, which you quickly try to conceal by clearing your throat. You even further go with the lie, โYou heard me.โ
โUnbelievable. Iโm kicking you out the second youโre done here,โ he tries his best menacing tone, the threat barely harsh and effective, closing the door behind his back with an exaggerated thump, followed by unintelligible grumbling.
You take your sweet time in his now steamy bathroom. You shampoo twice, deliberately squeezing out a generous amount of his own fancy product in your palm, making sure the squeak of the bottle is heard through the door so he knows youโre helping yourself. His high-quality hair dryer blasts warm air over your damp hair until itโs only mildly wet. And you even rummage around his cabinet, indulging in his collection of expensive skincare creams. These little luxuries are exactly why you never pass a single occasion to shower over at his dorm room.
And the second youโre done in there, he doesnโt kick you out like he threatened. It takes a moment for him to move his attention from his phone to your figure, wrapped around in his fluffy robe, and he doesnโt even try to keep up the menacing act. Still spread on his ruined bed, his furrowed brows relax, and his lips break into a grin. He scans your face, then giggles, โYouโve got a massive pimple on your forehead.โ
โFuck you. Iโm taking one of your hoodies.โ
โItโs called borrowing,โ even in the midst of checking out your freshly-washed naked body, now being stripped from his bathrobe, heโs still committed to the game of banter you two always play.
โItโs not if Iโm not giving it back,โ you counter, voice muffled by the fabric of one of his many black sweatshirts youโre already pulling over your head, quickly shuffling into your jeans, helping them up with some small hops that make him grin.
He doesnโt seem bothered by your comeback, too used to losing his own clothes to your closet; rather, he watches you move with what seems like hurry around his dimly lit room. He shifts higher, letting the sheets slip to reveal his still bare, and slightly sweaty torso, โWanna hang out together at the party tomorrow?โ
โHmm, Iโll just see you there,โ you donโt pay him much attention, using your phone camera as a mirror to wipe away any smudged mascara under your eyes. โIโve already got a partner, actually.โ
Jeongguk fully sits up now, vision a little blurry from the hasty and sudden movement, phone forgotten, โA partner?โ
The way you casually let a smile tug at your lips while talking about a man is new, โYeah. A guy from my English class asked me to go with him. Heโs pretty cute.โ
Youโre too busy shoving your belongings in your bag and mentally cataloging every single item to notice the expression your best friend is currently sporting, his jaw tightening almost imperceptibly. Tank top, makeup, laptopโฆ where the fuck isโ oh, here. Lip balm. What else?
Jeongguk thinks youโre forgetting something deathly important. A fucking explanation, maybe? Heโs known you to occasionally fool around with random guys, but he thought it was just that. Occasional and random. When did it get to having a partner? That sounds silly. Or maybe a little too formal, a little too real. What the fuck does having a partner even entail?
Youโre blissfully unaware of the stubborn storm taking over Jeonggukโs thoughts, especially because youโre not exactly sparing him a second glance, moving with single-minded focus, hurrying to leave. Because apparently itโs so bad to want to spend the night with your best friend. Share a bed, watch a movie, talk gossip (itโs been so long since youโve updated him the way only you can about the latest campus stories, ugh). Amazing, yes, thatโs totally fine with Jeongguk.
And he does manage to sound unbothered, โWhatโs his name?โ
โNamjoon.โ
Jeongguk focuses on your slim fingers slipping your lip balm into the front pocket of your bag, syllabes leaving his lips in a slow mumble, โAh, Namjoon. I know him. I guess.โ
Fucking Kim Namjoon. Of course he knows him. 6 feet tall, polite, model student Kim Namjoon. Shit. Great choice. No, really, heโs the perfect catch.
โHm? Well, I think heโs very nice. And hot as fuck.โ
He grimaces, โGross.โ
โYouโre one to talk,โ pulling the hood over your head, you finally meet his eyes. Youโre completely oblivious to the thoughts gnawing at him, so you think his disappointment is only caused by your next words, โI should get going now.โ
โWhat? Youโre not staying over for dinner?โ The way he looks up at you with doe, puppy-dog eyes almost makes you trip on your own resolution, but you only ruffle his hair from your stance next to his bed, hoping the small action is enough to satisfy your hunger. Not for dinner.
โNah, sorry Gguk. Gotta get up early for English class.โ
He scoffs, moving stubbornly from your soothing touch, โSure. English class with Joohyuk.โ
โโฆNamjoon.โ
โRight, thatโs what I said. Namsun.โ
You raise an eyebrow, half-laughing, โNo, itโs Namjoon.โ
โNamgi.โ
โNamjoon.โ
โWhatever, donโt care.โ The words have barely any space to roll out through his pout, and along with his petty little slip-ups itโs the most childish act youโve seen him pull so far. To be completely honest, he seems to break a new record every other day.
You fight the urge to roll your gaze at the ceiling, finding it impossible to deal with pouty, hungry and cuddle-starved Jeongguk. You sigh, muttering, โInsufferable.โ
โGive me a kiss, brat.โ
The teasing comes so naturally that for a second you donโt ponder on the demand being something a normal friend wouldnโt exactly ask. But it isnโt one youโll deny.
You bend down to meet him as easily as he let the request out, muttering a playful Oh, Iโm the brat now? before brushing his pushed lips with yours in a sweet, short kiss, enough to draw a soft sigh from both of you. You hum against it, voice warm with something that contradicts your words entirely, โI hate you.โ
โYou love me.โ
โSure,โ rolling your eyes, you grant his cocky figure that little win, too tired to put up a fight, even if you almost rethink it when he confidently leans back against the pillows, smirking up at you. You decide to cut it short, itโs for the best, throwing your bag over your shoulder as well as one last look at him, before readying yourself for the walk of shame through his frat.
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
Namjoon is, by all standards, the perfect guy. Heโs genuine, smiles sweetly with his dimples showing and his eyes crinkling into crescents that make him seem both wise and youthful.
Careful, even protective over you, making sure youโre comfortable. With your drink, with your seat, with your conversation.
Almost too attentive, which should calm your nerves, but instead you feel yourself unable to fully let go. Open up to him like heโs doing with you, like you think you want to do.
Youโre not sure. You canโt feel that mysterious spark everybody talks about. That spark Jeongguk admitted heโs never felt with anyone so far, no matter the number of girls heโs been with. The one heโs confessed heโs desperate to feel. The one you hope he can find.
Wait, why are you thinking about Jeongguk?
Said boy has yet to acknowledge you, standing across from you in the crowded living room of your mutual friendโs house. Each weekend, the same ritual brings you back here, whenever Taehyungโs parents head off for one of their rich-people, luxurious trips. The space is familiar, a backdrop to countless parties, all too often ending in someoneโs drunken confessions and stolen kisses thatโd become the talk of campus until the next party came around.
As tradition would want, with the clock ticking its way past midnight, youโd be drunk out of your mind already. Tonight, however, youโre not even sure you want to be here.
Namjoon is keeping close tabs on your drinks, monitoring each glass you reach for, and you know he means well; ordinarily, youโd find it sweet, endearing even. But it only seems to heighten your anxiety now. It just reminds you of how out of place this whole thing feels. You want to drown your awkwardness in a wave of liquid courage, and the irony isnโt lost on you: the very reason why youโre nervous is keeping you from numbing it.
Namjoon makes you way too aware of yourself. You wish your first proper hang out wasnโt at a filthy frat party, the blasting music causing you both to lean into each other to make conversation. The proximity makes your palms disgustingly clammy, and you hope he doesnโt reach for your hand.
You also think this isnโt the type of scenario that best suits Namjoon. You would have loved to be with him somewhere softer, with less noise and more light, talking over coffee instead of loud techno, his poetic speech lulling you into infatuation. Maybe then, this would have gone like you had imagined it might. Like you wanted it to go, just to prove something to yourself. Youโre still not sure what exactly.
But this house โ this party โ is a natural habitat for people like Jeongguk. Itโs a playground he navigates with ease, his charisma amplified by the darkened rooms and faint cigarette smoke that seems to follow him, just like everyone around him. They exist solely to orbit his mood.
Itโs as he saunters back inside after yet another smoke break that you spot him again, his focus entirely on whatever girl is currently at his side. With Namjoon leaving to grab a drink for the two of you to share, you take the short moment to be a shameless creep and study your friendโs movements from the other side of the room.
You canโt help but feel a sting of irritation. Jeongguk is fully aware youโre here. Youโd texted him earlier, just something casual to say youโd arrived, maybe even expecting him to meet you or give you a quick wave. Instead, thereโd been no reply.
Just like the TikToks youโd sent last night, after you told him you wouldnโt be staying over at his, that also went ignored. You didnโt think too much of it, figured it was probably one of his petty acts. You arenโt any better: itโs not like youโll go up to him to say hi, not after he ignored you. Those videos were funny, too. Heโs the one missing out.
But now, your eyes squinted to try and get the best possible view on each detail of the scene in front of you, what you notice is nothing about him and everything about who heโs currently spending the time he could have used to acknowledge you with.
Itโs not just whatever girl. Itโs Haeun.
You havenโt seen them hanging out together in what feels like months, and frankly, youโre thrown. Maybe thatโs also the reason why he suddenly had no time for you. You scoff.
Youโre just confused, really. Jeongguk didnโt mention a thing about her, and itโs not like heโs ever kept his hookups or flings a secret. But Haeun was never just that. She was the one he seemed almost ready to get in his first serious relationship with, the one girl you thought could make him forget all about his usual habits.
When Jeongguk had first started hanging out with Haeun, heโd seemed uncharacteristically interested. You naturally found yourself rooting for him, hoping heโd take a leap and start something real after many failed attempts.
At that point, your casual arrangement with him had been going on for a while, but you knew it wasnโt built to last. Youโd expected it to end sooner rather than later, and you were okay with that. You just wanted him to be happy with himself and his choices.
But on the night he was supposed to take Haeun out on a date, the one that could have changed everything, itโs like a magic vacuum turned on and sucked all his progress away. Heโd shown up in front of your door instead. No explanations, no details about what had happened; he didnโt want to talk. He only wanted to be near you and sink into silence.
That night you laid next to him, his head on you, hair sprawled out on your stomach, and said absolutely nothing.
Since then, he hadnโt mentioned Haeun at all, and youโd assumed it was over. The right side of your brain was irrationally glad for that, greedily geeking at the prospect of still getting to keep Jeongguk close in ways that go over a simple friendship. In ways that have you thanking God for not taking your friendโs sex skills away from you; in ways that have your nose scrunching whenever he leaves small, delicate pecks on the side of your neck as you watch a movie cuddled in his embrace. If he had decided to go on that date, you would be denied all of this luxury.
The left side of your brain is a little less greedy, a little more rational. The half of your mind responsible for keeping some logic instilled in you even thought it could have been a good thing for Jeongguk to experience a different side of relationships.
Youโve always sensed there to be deeper reasons beneath Jeonggukโs carefree front. Youโve watched him jump from girl to girl, dip in and out of flings with seemingly no thought, as if heโs not trying to bury issues he should find a different answer for, to avoid whatever insecurities heโs run too far away from to face.
Heโs never had to spell it out for you. You never pressed him on the topic either. And you think heโs grateful for it, for your silence that offers him the stability he wonโt admit he needs, for simply staying and understanding. For allowing him to be vulnerable.
You wish you could give him more than that quiet comfort. Wonder if you should try your luck and push him to see that he does deserve something realโ more than the distractions he uses to keep his fears at bay.
Jeongguk would make an incredible boyfriend. He always spots the small details, the slight changes in your mood, and he picks them up before you can even notice yourself, caring in a silent way that doesn't go unnoticed. Not by you.
Itโs easy to imagine him being the kind of partner whoโd cater to his girlโs needs effortlessly, even in quiet, even if hidden. You know he could be that person if he could just let anyone in beyond sex. When heโll find the one, itโll be clear itโs all he was made for.
Right now though, if anyone were to ask you that, youโd advise them to just go and look for another one, because heโs a little, lying piece of shit. Youโre just a tad bit upset about it, if your crossed arms and furrowed brows are anything to go by.
You donโt understand why heโs now there, standing next to the girl he himself stood up, the one he looked ready to fix everything for, and then wasnโt. Leaning in close as if nothing had ever happened.
Why couldnโt he tell you, at least give you a heads-up if he was reconnecting with her? You know it shouldnโt bother you as much as it does, but the fact that heโs hiding it stings. Are you overthinking this?
When he lifts his head from her ear and scans the room, his eyes landing right on yours for a brief second just to look away, you donโt think you are. His attention shifts back to Haeun as if he hadnโt seen you at all. What the fuck?
You question whatโs the point of having eyes to see when you are now forced to witness Jeongguk leaving the room with Haeun hanging her draggy weight on his arm, his smile cockish as he helps her up by her waist, fingers digging dangerously close to the curve of her perfectly shaped peach.
Their chemistry is undeniable, hands finding skin with unpracticed ease. It must be the way Jeongguk can effortlessly work his charm with any girl he deems attractive enough to fuck, his smirk and the way he lets his nose scrunch almost timidly, as if you canโt see right through him, making women potty in his sculpted hands.
The prospect of your best friend getting laid by the girl he was almost ready to change it all for should make you happy. Smile, at least.
Instead, you frown, mindlessly taking long sips from the straw in your glass and letting it stir your too watered-down cocktail that lacks any real flavor. You donโt even try to find answers as to how another drink landed right on the counter you rest your back on, but youโre glad for it.
Youโre more upset at the fact that he decided not to tell you anything. You would have helped him through it, supported him, advised him on what to do, how to move in such a situation. But even if he didnโt need any of this, you would have appreciated just knowing. From him.
The ways in which the two of you are intertwined right at this moment donโt exactly allow him to completely leave you unaware of his actions. Itโs not fair.
But then, are you even supposed to feel like this in the first place? Is only sex supposed to have this impact on you? Is even the smallest cell in his brain producing a thought that might take him back to you, and could it compare to a third of what you think and feel?
Does he not get that tingly sensation with you, โcause heโs used to it? โCause youโre nothing too different nor special from all the choice he has laid at his feet, nothing out of the usual routine?
A gentle hand on your arm jolts you out of your thoughts. The touch is delicate, but the way it pulls you from your spiral is rough, making you stumble on the already wobbly stool youโre sitting on. When you look to your side, Namjoon meets you with a warm smile.
You hadnโt even noticed him being back next to you, and you figure thatโs probably how that drink found its way in your hands. Youโre a deer caught in headlights as you look at him, then down at the almost empty glass, then back at the boy. Your eyes widen impossibly more, and you struggle with finding a louder volume to your voice, almost fading with the music, โSorry, I didnโt mean to finish this all by myself.โ
You remember him saying heโd get a drink for the two of you to share before leaving you with your haunting thoughts. He just laughs in a way that should soothe your nerves, but it doesnโt, โItโs okay. You look like you needed it. Iโm getting another one for me and catching up with some of my friends over there. Iโll be back in a bit, alright?โ
โYeah, totally. No problem,โ your words roll out your tongue in a slurred hurry, face already turning to the opposite side of the room, and youโre not even sure what youโre agreeing on. You just feel Namjoon slip away from the seat next to yours again.
The brief interaction was enough for Jeongguk to have time to completely disappear from your strict observing, and just like the boy who should have had your undivided attention tonight, he equally slips away. From your vision, from the party. And from you. Heโs with Haeun now, after all. And youโre alone.
Being truthful, Jeongguk is once again slipping away from his problems only. He doesnโt know how he ended up with Haeun by his side, but when he found your big, confused eyes in the midst of what should have been his escape for the night, he thinks he could name a few reasons.
Itโs suffocating, the grip you have on him. He can almost feel one of your slim, delicate hands around his throat. Heโs a dirty little sadist, of course he enjoys the pain. But he shouldnโt, so he runs from it until his back hits the wall, and the hold only gets tighter.
Thereโs nothing to do but face the truth. And youโre in front of him, eyes lost and inviting him to tell you. What should be easy for him to say, what he owes you. But the words get stuck in his throat, right where youโre pressing, and he feels like he might stop breathing.
He could die like this, with your narrowed orbs pitying him, and he badly wishes you would call him a coward. The hold is just enough to hurt him, not to make him lose his senses; if anything, it only makes his head spin around the one thought he wants to avoid. You.
With the quickest distraction he could get his hands on, he keeps adding to it: Haeun clinging to his side, he steps out the packed room to light the nth cigarette, the smoke clouding his vision and making the image of you fade from behind his eyelids. You release your hand from him and disappear. He almost whines. He misses you already. But the faint ache is a reminder.
Instead, in front of him is the only girl he should have truly avoided. Haeun is another reminder. Not because she looks similar to you, youโre way prettier. Youโre beautiful.
No, itโs just because he remembers Haeun being his first victim, using her to bury something stronger growing inside him. But it didnโt work then, and it doesnโt work now.
Sheโs the only girl he tried his luck with to avoid his now unavoidable feelings for you. Then, he physically couldnโt touch another woman beside you. So he started flirting with more cigarettes and alcohol. Maybe some joints then and there.
Jeongguk would love to know why he prefers destroying himself rather than just be the confident man he lets everyone else think he is, go up to you and be honest, like you make it so easy for him to be. The fact that it almost slipped out of him more than a couple times scares him.
It shouldnโt. He wants to fall into that soothing caress, but could he even handle the possibility of you simply, and rightfully if you deemed it the correct choice, rejecting him?
The answer is no. He canโt afford losing your touch on him, your lashes fluttering when you look up at him, your fingers tracing secret maps on his back. He wonders if youโre outlining the safest ways for him to escape from the maze he himself created, of which he forgot the exit to.
With Haeun pressing herself to his side, he thinks heโd rather stay trapped there at this point. A maze built by lies, letting you believe heโs fucking other girls on the side when he feels sickened just by the thought of it, his hand now coming up to push the girl back to a safe distance. Built by insecurities, preferring having you think that youโre simply one of the many he has when he firmly believes youโre the only one that the universe has especially assigned him to.
Itโs making him lose his mind, while you live unaware, free from the truth. Heโs sure in the stretch that went from yesterday, when you told him about your fucking partner, and tonight, seeing you so close to said partnerโs face, your dress custom-made by the hands of every angel populating heaven, Jeongguk developed some kind of clinical illness. The flame of jealousy in his toned tummy has eaten him whole.
And he feels slightly ashamed of himself knowing this is how he found himself circling back to his first poor attempt at running away from you, in the form of a short girl, her eyes now questioning him just like yours had done earlier. Haeun furrows her brows, โAre you seriously doing this again?โ
Jeongguk sighs, glancing away to take a long drag from his cigarette that fills his lungs and almost aches. He avoids the eye contact that would be needed for a conversation like the one heโs forced to have โ one that wouldnโt have occured in the first place if he could just be a normal person โ instead he looks back to the room through the glass doors, โIโm sorry, Hae. Iโ I canโt do thisโโ
โYo, Gguk. You need to come with me now. ___ is throwing up in the bathroom.โ
Itโs Taehyung sliding the glass door open with more force than what he usually puts, and right now nobody would tell heโs the same one always advising his friends to be delicate with it. The look on his face is panicked and it quickly reflects in Jeonggukโs eyes, flickering between his friend and Haeun.
Next, his reflexes are quicker. He steps inside the house, skipping past Taehyung and the flood of college students dancing their Friday away to Usher and seemingly not caring about the urgency written all over his expression.
He makes it to the bathroom where people have started to crowd around as if lining up to an unmissable show, and he doesnโt care if his pushes are too rough as he makes his way through.
Youโre quite literally hugging the toilet, your face one with the lid as a few girls try and help you with your hair. The moment they see Jeongguk, itโs like they know heโs the one that you need, that heโs finally here and youโre in good hands. He shoots them a quick nod as they step aside and then, heโs immediately crouching next to you, gently gathering your long locks into his fist.
He moves some stray strands behind your ears while you keep letting it all out, and as much as his broad back is enough to hide you from watchful eyes, he can still hear murmurs from onlookers.
Itโs as Jeongguk is debating whether he should cuss them out or keep his attention on you that Taehyung comes to promptly clear the crowd, closing the bathroom door behind him only after making sure his friend doesnโt need any more help.
Jeongguk appreciates the gesture, knowing how overwhelmed you can get in these scenarios with too many people around. Although, no matter how calm he appears for your sake, his heart races even as you seem to settle and sit on the tiled floor, your back resting against the cool wall.
You gulp down a few times, squeezing your eyes to try and ground yourself, the way you can feel Jeonggukโs hand hold the side of your leg, his thumb delicately brushing the inside of your thigh, definitely helping.
โToots,โ he whispers, face close to your own, โHey, doll. Youโre okay now, hm? What happened?โ His voice is low, slow, almost scared of flowing past his lips.
When you open your eyes heโs directly in front of you, squatting down to stay on your level, and his brows are drawn high in worry.
You sniff, your voice still rough from the scratching on your throat, โFuckingโ Jimin. I met him in the kitchen and we mixed too much shit togetherโโ
โWerenโt you with Kim Namjoon?โ Jeongguk interrupts you, both his tone and the way his eyebrows now dip inquisitive.
You shrug, looking down at your fingers fidgeting, โDunno. Why the fuck am I still not sober,โ the way you tone the question doesnโt make it sound like one, and you end up giggling at yourself, hiccuping in the process.
Jeongguk sighs, unconsciously tightening his hold around your leg, his fingers digging and making you whimper subtly. He notices, soothing the skin only to take both his hands to scoop you up by your armpits, lifting both your bodies on your feet.
You yelp, throwing your weight on him with another one of your senseless chuckles, looking up at his bothered face through your lashes. He straightens your posture with wide palms on your waist, throwing one of your arms around his shoulders and causing you to step out of the small room on your tiptoes. He grumbles, โIโm taking you back to the dorm now. And weโll talk about this tomorrow.โ
โTalk about what?โ
โNamjoon.โ
You stay quiet as the both of you, your body snug against his, walk through the party and out the house to reach Jeonggukโs car. Your thoughts are sluggish, failing to grasp why heโd even want to talk about Namjoon. Isnโt he just a nice guy? Youโre more concerned with Jeonggukโs seemingly irked tone and the distressed way his tongue pokes the inside of his cheek.
A soft, involuntary whine escapes you when you think you might be the reason for that, shuffling yourself closer into his warmth, but the contact is brief as he gently settles you into the passenger seat and clicks the belt, then he closes your door and circles the car to the driverโs side.
Awkward. The only sound that can be heard is the soft hum of the engine, beside the fuzzy buzz in your ears. You feel laughter bubbling up in your chest but you hold it there, turning to study Jeonggukโs side profile. Inhaling, you start, โCan youโ can I put onโโ
โNo.โ
Your smile falters, โWhat? Cโmon, give me the aux.โ
โThe last thing I want right now is to listen to those songs.โ
Any previous tipsy instinct that made you want to laugh at the situation fade with his words and the way his grip on the steering wheel says more than what heโs letting on. Youโre hazy, but his clenched jaw and laser focus on the road make you sit up straighter, adjusting your slouched posture and the skirt of your dress with it, pulling it further down your thighs.
The tension coming off him feels so heavy that it leads to irrational, childish tears pricking your eyes, and you sound defeated when you whisper, โAre you mad at me?โ
He brakes a little too hard at the red light, and you both lurch slightly forward. Jeongguk seems to realize just now that heโs unfairly taking his anger out on you, and the way you let out the question in the smallest voice makes his heart speed up, turning to you with apprehension, โNo, toots. No, why would I be? Iโm mad at that fucker.โ
โHe was just talking with some of hisโโ
โHe left you alone. He was supposed to take care of you. Not let you get fucking wasted.โ
Jeongguk sounds final, his tone allowing no more condoning nor excuses for the tall guy now left behind you, back at the party. But you donโt seem to focus too much on the meaning of his words, rather you bask in the consequences of them. Heโs not upset with you!
That spurs you to contradict him further, this time on the accusation he threw at you, but itโs less than credible when you say it through a sheepish smile that unconsciously made its way on your lips at the protective edge to his tone, โIโm not fucking wasted.โ
Jeongguk only sighs, but you can see him visibly relax, shoulders going down and leaning against the back of his seat, right hand coming to pat your bare knee with a small smile on his pierced lips.
You share a look that fully sobers you up only to get you high all over again off his doe eyes, the artificial lights dotting a universe of their own in those orbs, undiscovered galaxies and planets inviting you to move there, even with no water, no oxygen, no way of surviving.
When the soft hue of the red light reflecting on the side of your face morphs to green, he moves his attention back on the road, taking his hand with it to shift gears. Then, he concedes, โPut on the playlist.โ
You blink, a little taken aback by his sudden shift in mood, but just as quickly you recover. Your brain seems to be able to focus on one thing at a time either way, so you donโt ponder on your insides collectively moving at the way he looked at you and instead reach for the aux cord, fingers tapping on your phone screen absentmindedly, with a conscience of their own.
Music interrupts the quiet, and you canโt help but join, โThe night we met I knew I, needed you so. And if I had the chance Iโd, never let you go. Sing with me!โ
Jeongguk breaks into a grin, no matter how much he fights it, โYouโre so fucking wasted.โ
โSo wonโt you say you love me? Iโll make you so proud of me. Weโll make โem turn their heads every place we go, so wonโt you please,โ Be My Baby by The Ronettes fills the previous silent tension, which you seemingly already forgot everything about, using Jeonggukโs free hand as your own personal microphone, folding it in a fist between your palms.
Jeongguk would never say it out loud, especially now, after he only pretended he had to be begged to put it on, that heโs actually grown attached to this playlist. Started as a little mishap and turned into something that got under his skin, much like you have.
Its creation came about from a comically embarrassing moment that gave you ammunition to tease him for weeks. Although, heโs glad for it when he reflects deep enough: the whole episode helped shape the bond between you two, adding to its foundation.
He still doesnโt know how you managed to slip so sneakily into his dorm that evening, but whatโs sure is that he wasnโt expecting you, taking the time of his life in his bathroom, fresh out of the shower. Simply following his usual routine, one that you wouldnโt have exactly considered usual since you only ever knew him as an avid Drake listener, he hummed along to Elvis Presleyโs Canโt Help Falling in Love flowing softly from his phone speaker.
It wasnโt just that, of course, because then he started styling his wet hair in an exaggerated pompadour and fully got into character, strutting dramatic poses in front of the mirror and even practicing Elvisโs iconic curl of the lip. If his soul was by any chance watching over the scene, youโd hoped heโd agree with you that Jeongguk was truly giving Austin Butler a run for his money.
The private show sadly ended when he caught sight of you in the foggy glass, your lips sealed shut to try and hold your delighted laughter, but it got ripped out of you in the form of an obnoxious snort the moment his eyes went wide in horror and his face crimson in shame.
It was hell for a few weeks after that. You didnโt let him off so easily, teasing him for being a secret softie with a love for old-school romance under all the layers of his tough fuckboy image that only ever seemed to handle trappy beats.
When you jokingly suggested he might as well get fully into the act and start calling you toots or something, he didnโt back down from the tease, scoffing at you with narrowed eyes. Somewhere along the way, the dry, sardonic tone with which he first used that pet name on you stuck, and it became less of a joke, more of an endearing way to refer to you, and only you.
Before either of you could second-guess it, the playlist was born. You two crafted it together in fits of laughter and late-night texts, with Jeongguk suggesting songs from his secret stash and you contributing the ones you grew up on.
It quickly became the soundtrack to many of your aimless car rides, something that neither of you acknowledged outright but silently cherished. Sometimes, youโd get so carried away and slip into the roles of a โ60s couple, playfully reciting cheesy lines back and forth.
No matter how much Jeongguk pretends he hates it to save whatโs left of his bad boy reputation, he really doesnโt. Not even a little bit. Even the way he rolls his eyes and groans isnโt enough to hide the spark in his eyes when you sing along.
He feels worse than a pubescent teenager when he lets his guard slip to hear you hum words he can only imagine are just for him, meant in the way he wants. You swing side by side and smile up at him with dimples digging long slits into your cheeks, and he has to act as if it makes him feel completely normal and not like heโs going to crash his car any second.
Each lyric that spills from your mouth feels like itโs tying him down, even with your sweet voice a little unsteady, thanks to whatever is still left from the nightโs drinks. Youโre so not aware of what it does to him.
Your eyes are on the road, but Jeonggukโs linger on you, his fingers unconsciously tapping the steering wheel to the tune.
โIโd save every day like a treasure, and then, again, I would spend them with you.โ
Jeongguk purposefully veers off onto streets he doesnโt need to take, buying himself a few extra minutes with you, but you donโt notice and he pretends to not know either. Would never admit itโs because he wants to hear you sing a little more, and that this ongoing joke between the two of you might be his favorite thing in the whole world.
โBut there never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do once you find them. Hold on, this oneโs a little lower. Iโll find my note, wait,โ youโre mostly talking to yourself, cheek pressed to the cool glass of the window, but you glance at Jeongguk as if seeking for approval, clearing your throat, โIโve looked around enough to know that youโre the one I want to go through time with.โ
Just as Time in a Bottle by Jim Croce fades out, Jeongguk pulls into the campus parking lot, turning the engine off and cutting the music with it. None of you move right away, accepting the stillness in the car.
You donโt accept the silence, though, letting your mind speak a thought that has been nagging at you, โCan you fuck me here? Right now?โ
The way you voice the request would make anybody who didnโt understand English think youโd just asked for something as mundane as a glass of water, your eyes unfaltering, a small smile on your waiting lips, voice barely slicing through the quiet. Itโs almost as if you donโt know itโs the kind of thing that could derail Jeonggukโs entire thought process.
Jeongguk lightly chokes on his own breath, giving a few coughs before turning to you, his tattooed hand messing his hair further, โJesus Christ, ___. You know I canโt.โ
You tilt your head, considering him, as if this is a serious debate rather than drunken rambling, โWhy not?โ
Jeongguk can only sigh. He takes in your disheveled state and notices the way your exposed skin prickles with the cold, reaching for the leather jacket he carelessly threw on the backseats before heading to the party, having had no idea youโd be the one wearing it by the end of the night.
He wraps it gently around your shoulders, moving sticky, stray strands of hair from your face, โYouโre so drunk. Look at you.โ
โI told you Iโm not,โ you protest weakly, but your confidence falters when his fingers ghost over your face.
โThereโs vomit in your hair,โ he shuts you bluntly, tone softer than the honest words.
โOh,โ your stubbornness doesnโt work this time, and youโre mortified as you glance down at your lap, where his fingers fall to mindlessly play with the zip of his bomber jacket, brushing your tummy in the process. Your voice doesnโt sound so sure now, especially when each subtle graze sends small shocks through you, โThatโs disgusting.โ
The soft chuckle he lets out has you stealing a look upward, and when you catch his expression your slowed down brain can only come to the conclusion that maybe he doesnโt find you all that disgusting: he sports a rare, wide curve of his bunny smile, eyes crinkling when that same fondness finds its way onto your lips. You canโt help what they do next, a mind of their own as you rest them on his own mouth, the tip of his nose tickling your cheek.
Itโs the faintest of kisses, and itโs delicate, fleeting, over far too soon, but youโre the one to pull back first no matter how much longer you need it to be, โThat was probably disgusting too.โ
As you rest your back on the seat again, his eyes are still closed, and they flutter open as slowly as a smile stretches on his mouth when he meets you. Youโre giving him a look he doesnโt deserve, one he shouldnโt lean into.
His voice is a whisper, and it fans over your face, still close to his, โNot at all.โ
Gleaming eyes scan every angle of you, as if trying to find anything thatโll hold him back from what he really wants to do. But, of course, his need only grows when he lets his gaze wander down, then up again.
He glances to the side with a gulp, moving his body back to reach for the car door handle, โYou think you can walk or should I carry you?โ
โCarry me, please,โ you mumble, not even pondering on the first option, and the moment the sound leaves your lips heโs out and reaching for your side, opening your door and scooping you up like itโs the most natural thing in the world.
The walk to his dorm is a blur, with you dozing off in his warmth and being lulled by the hums escaping him and reverberating through his chest, melodies of the earlier songs playing against your ear.
You regain awareness when a splash of warm water cascades over your now naked body, the sensation startling enough to make your lashes flutter against your damp cheeks. The water runs over your face, washing away the remnants of the night, the drowsy yet oddly light sensation taking over you causing a giggle to echo against the walls.
Youโre still too disoriented to process the tenderness with which Jeonggukโs hand moves, brushing through your soaked strands of hair and moving them from where they flattened on your face, combing through the sticky locks.
With half-open eyes, youโre met with the sight of him in front of you, standing close enough without needing to step into the small space with you, his brows furrowed as he works the shampoo through your hair. Itโs a soothing, slow motion, the one he massages your scalp with, and it only melts you further into sweet slumber.
If it werenโt for one of his hands resting tightly on your hip, grounding you as the scent of the shampoo mingles with the steam curling around you, you would have gladly swayed into his palm, letting your weak body fall into his strong one.
You sniff, leaning into his care, voice small and oddly sincere, โIโm sorry for,โ hiccup, โtaking you away from Haeun. You two seem close again.โ
Jeongguk stills for a moment, his fingers pausing in your hair before resuming their soft motions. He pretends he didnโt hear, and you pretend you never talked in the first place when he guides you to steady yourself as your knees wobble, โHey, stand still. Youโll get shampoo in your eyes. Close them.โ
You obey, letting your eyelids drop shut as you feel his hand gently tilt your head under the spray, his touch as tender as the words he isnโt saying.
If you werenโt a victim of both sleepiness and alcohol at this very moment, your thoughts would be racing each other like eager contenders in the Overthinker Marathon, each one fighting tooth and nail for the gold medal. Theyโd be dissecting every little detail of the nightโ the way Jeongguk had ignored you, his lingering hand on Haeunโs waist, only to be there the second you needed him, the girl from earlier not even worth mentioning.
Instead, your every thinking cell has taken a rare vacation, lounging together on an imaginary green field, clinking glasses filled with leftover cocktails from earlier, lazily watching clouds drift by.
Although thereโs one cell in particular, too tipsy to sit still. It hops around gleefully, urging your lips to move before the Thinking Cell General can intervene. The way it jumps up and down, up and down, makes you giggle as you blurt out, โI donโt know if itโs the water, but Iโm very wet.โ
The silence that follows is thick, punctuated only by the sound of water cascading down your back. Jeongguk freezes as if the words have physically reached out and yanked him into stunned stillness. He can only let his throat bob in a visible swallow and look away, warning you in a strained mutter, โ___. This is your last warning. Stop teasing me.โ
You whine, pathetically wiggling your weak and pliant body in his hold to seek for some kind of reaction, but he doesnโt budge. Heโs uncharacteristically focused on his tasks, ensuring every trace of shampoo rinses from your hair, rather than your hardened nipples bouncing with your stubborn movements.
But you recognise the way his jaw clenches so tight it must hurt, how he refuses to let his gaze wander lower where the steam of water outlines your form. His restraint is razor-thin, yet he holds it tightly, breathing only slightly uneven.
Youโre not deterred by his warning; you never are. Itโs the tiny tracks in his resolve that keep you pressing forward, voice laced with a vulnerability that makes his hand twitch against your scalp, โJustโฆ I just need your fingers. Please.โ
Jeongguk exhales sharply through his nose, but he doesnโt answer. Instead, he angles the spray to wash the last suds away, hyper-focused on the practical task as though itโs a lifeline to his dwindling self-control.
But youโre persistent. You reach behind you, fingers messily finding the knob to twist the water off, and with the spray halting youโre left only with the hum of the bathroom fan and the faint drip of water.
Your other hand finds his, guiding his wide palm to rest on your lower stomach, just above where your want is written in every inch of your body. You whisper, plead clear in your tone, โYou know I want this. Wonโt ever regret it. Iโm conscious enough to be sure of that.โ
Jeongguk huffs, his chest rising and falling as he stares down at you, fingers flexing slightly against your skin. He closes his eyes for a moment, inhaling deeply as if accepting defeat. He canโt win this battle.
The brown-haired boy steps into the shower, the small space shrinking even further with the addition of his broader frame, forcing you to back up against the wall. Fully dressed, water clings to his fabric, and the contrast of his damp clothes against your bare, exposed skin makes you irrationally wetter.
Jeongguk keeps silent, and at this point you donโt care how desperate you look, pushing yourself against him and getting his clothes wetter in the process. It pushes him to initiate a torturous path along your skin, using his middle finger to trace a journey from your chest, savoring the way your breath hitches, down to your warm core.
The droplets of water he collects on the way are used to spread your puffy lips and press right on your sensitive nub, making you gasp. Youโre a trembling mess from the simple motion, and he has to use his free hand to steady you against the wall.
Your breasts arenโt left without being taken care of, because the moment he begins circling motions on your clit that have you seeing stars, he lowers his head to envelop one of your tits in his ravenous mouth, teeth teasing it punitively, all while looking up at you with sliced, sinful eyes.
Heโs greedy, and you canโt believe he managed to hide it so well until now. But his resolve crumbles the more he revels in the way you fall apart for him, and he loses control on your chest. The sensation is sharp, delicious, and the contrast between the harshness of his bite and the softness of his tongue has you whimpering.
Youโre ashamedly aware of how close you already are, his digits picking a fast speed that urges you to let go and coat him in your juices. He knows, simply from the way you let your mouth fall agape and release loud moans in the steamy air, pushing your nipples further in his swollen lips.
When he inserts one finger in your warm hole, you jolt in his secure hold, eyebrows shot upwards in the shock of your sudden orgasm, one that hits you all too harshly. It drags on deliciously, Jeongguk never wanting it to end, the slurping sound of his sucking on your tits making your surrounding spin, along with his thumb accompanying the way his single digits thrusts into you.
He only stops when you unconsciously run from his doings, slim hand wrapping weakly around his wrist, and he retreats with one last wet stripe along the curve of your boob, promptly collecting your taste from his fingers, and he thoroughly hums around them, eyes closed and cheeks hollowed.
You think you could come again from the sight alone. Panting, you smile through your ragged breaths, โFuck. Thanks.โ
Five minutes later, no one would bet youโre the same girl that begged him for his fingers and came in record time around them. Now, you sit serenely on the toilet lid, wrapped up in Jeonggukโs warmest hoodie. The oversized fabric swallows your frame, knees tucked under it as you hug them close to your chest. You look as innocent as ever.
Jeongguk stands in front of you, meticulously brushing through your damp hair with practiced gentleness, each stroke of the comb a soothing lullaby. You rest your chin lazily on your folded arms, eyes closed, the edges of sleep blurring your thoughts.
You let out a contented sigh before murmuring, words unfiltered, โYouโd make the perfect boyfriend. You always take care of me. And kiss me when I need it.โ
The motions of the brush stop for a fraction of a second before resuming, and what you hear next is Jeonggukโs throat clearing, his voice low and almost shaky, โThat sounds so very wrong, toots.โ
โWhat do you mean?โ You donโt open your eyes as you ask the question, the warmth of his presence and the excuse of the last traces of alcohol still flowing in your tired body making you bolder than usual.
โYou want me to be your boyfriend?โ
โIn another life, maybe. Yes,โ you donโt waste time replying, words carrying a dreamy quality, โI mean, would be cool.โ
โCool?โ He chuckles, but itโs the kind thatโs half-exasperation and half-something else entirely, voice strained with an edge of desperation too, โGod, I donโt even know why Iโm still putting up with you.โ
You only nuzzle closer into the borrowed hoodie, giving voice to your next thought, your thinking cells now hosting a 60s themed party, โBe my, be my baby. My one and only baby.โ
The sound of your singing fades under the whirring roar of the hairdryer, and Jeongguk is quietly thankful for the way it drowns your sweet hums completely, fearing if he hears another one of those tipsy love confessions leaving your lips he might drop to his knees, undone by something he knows he canโt claim.
You rest your head against his stomach, full weight leaning on his standing figure, his long digits pulling through your strands. If youโd look up at your best friend for even one fleeting second, youโd probably laugh at the concentration on his expression, his only goal drying your hair enough to not have you waking up with a headache the following day.
You sniffle and snuggle impossibly closer to him, the heat radiating from his tummy and the white noise lulling you further into drowsiness, every careful motion of his hand coaxing you closer to sleep.
When your phone pings from the bathroom counter, the sudden buzz makes you jolt slightly. You lift your head sluggishly and gesture toward the phone, mouthing up to Jeongguk, โPass it.โ
He hands it to you without turning off the hairdryer, keeping an eye on your sleepy movements. You blink at the bright light for a moment before your expression shifts, eyes widening.
Youโre completely jolted awake at the only notification on your home screen: it's Namjoon.
You tap Jeonggukโs stomach with the heel of your handโ softly at first, then with increasing urgency. The repeated motion forces him to stop the device and place it on the counter as he looks down at you, trying to peek at the screen, โWhat?โ
You hiccup and sniff before blurting out, โNamjoon. He texted meโ
The boy that was just now carefully drying your hair scoffs, arms crossed over his chest, โWhat does that asshole want?โ
The response to the rhetorical question doesnโt come, either because you decide to ignore it purposefully or unconsciously: you look totally engulfed by the words on your otherwise empty chat with Namjoon, and Jeongguk canโt help but subtly lean his body lower to read the same texts youโre going through.
Kim Namjoon [4:26 a.m.]: Hey. Sorry for texting late, I heard from someone you threw up back at the party. Iโm so sorry. I completely lost sight of you in that mess. Are you feeling any better? Very sorry again.
Kim Namjoon [4:27 a.m.]: Itโs totally okay if you donโt want to hear from me again. But I wouldnโt forgive myself if I didnโt at least try to make it up to you.
Kim Namjoon [4:27 a.m.]: Iโd really like to take you out on a date. Would you let me?
Jeongguk kisses his teeth irkedly, โWhy the fuck does he text like Prince William? Fucking English major,โ and he truly tried his best to sound unaffected, but the words leave his mouth before he even knows heโs thinking of them.
Luckily, you donโt seem to notice, reading the message aloud like you canโt quite believe it yourself, โHe said heโd like to go on a date with me. Like, he asked me on a date. And said he would like it. To go on a dateโโ
โYes, we got it.โ
โHe doesnโt hate me, Gguk!โ Once again, his petty comments go unnoticed as your face lights up, eyes crinkling with joy as you practically beam up at him.
Jeongguk wants to be annoyed, but he simply canโt when heโs met with all the stars in the universe right in your glossy, tired eyes. He swallows hard and forces a soft chuckle, โNo, he doesnโt, toots. Anyone would be crazy to hate you.โ
The grin on your lips only widens, nose scrunching adorably as you let your cheek sheepishly brush against your shoulder, โOh my god, Gguk. Iโm going on a date with him! Heh.โ
โThatโs nice,โ he says, picking up the hairdryer again before your words can settle too heavily in the space between you. โIโm not finished with your hair, though. Stay still.โ
The device roars to life once more, its noise filling the room and covering your excited giggles. Jeongguk keeps brushing through your hair with steady motions, his face impassive, but he feels something tighten, heavy and unyielding in his chest.
He tells himself the noise is a blessing, a shield from the silence he wouldnโt know how else to fillโor from the sound of his own voice, betraying him in ways he canโt afford.
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
โIโll miss the sex when Namjoon will ask me to be his girlfriend.โ
In the quiet of the library, your sudden whisper startles Jeongguk. The chair screeches under him and it gains the both of you a few annoyed looks. He nods in apology at their way, moving closer to the table again, and he has to blink a few times before he can even meet your eyes. The scattered pens all over the white surface looked more interesting either way.
โWhen heโ hisโ what?โ He feels pathetic for being unable to even form a senseful sentence, but thereโs no absolute way he blames his brain for that. Itโs his heart, stuttering along with the barely intelligible question.
It cracks at the middle the more your grin splits your face in half, nose scrunching adorably, and he may be a horrible friend but he canโt bring himself to return your irony, nor the masked excitement under it.
If he were handed pen and paper and asked to write about how he feels right at this moment, he wouldnโt put down a single thing. Not because there isnโt anything to say. He fears your innocent teasing has done something catastrophic, snapping that one damned string that connected his brain to his heart, and the two arenโt communicating. Jeongguk is in the middle of two angered parents, fighting and on the brink of divorce. Thatโs what he gets for being a total pussy.
You shrug, frowning slightly when all youโre faced with is his blank expression, eyes unresponsive and detachedly looking elsewhere, but you keep yours on him, studying even the small movements, โI mean, heโs a nice guy. I think heโs serious about getting to know me.โ
The word serious causes an involuntary twitch of his head, tilting almost imperceptibly to the side, and he sounds way too defensive, โAnd are you?โ
Furrowing your eyebrows at his unexpected reaction, you return to your previous mindless doodling, keeping your voice low, โWell, heโs cute. Letโs see where this thing goes.โ
โWhat about me?โ
The question catches the both of you off guard. Your pencil halts as you glance at him through the corner of your eye, and even if you canโt see him clearly, the way his dark orbs widen is almost comical that you would laugh in any other situation. But now, the air is oddly tense and it makes your nose scrunch in awkwardness.
He breaks it with a chuckle, a subtle tremor in it that luckily goes unnoticed by you but that will probably keep him up at night for the next five years, and he lightly shoves your shoulder in an effort at feigning ease, โYou really wanna pass on this dick?โ
โGod, youโre gross,โ the annoyed roll of your eyes has Jeongguk releasing a breath he didnโt realize he was holding; itโs odd, but thatโs just who he is.
The second you return to weightless banter, heโs back in his element. He can smirk, tease and deflectโ these are tools heโs mastered over the months. But the thought of stripping naked for your eyes to see, and not in the sexual way you two engage in almost every night, terrifies him.
The waters are safe for what seems a fraction of a second before you pull him down in the deep, dark seas again, this dynamic between you foreign. While it is a simple, innocent question, your deceptive tone triggers unfamiliarity within him, โBesides, howโs it going with you and Haeun?โ
โHuh? Oh. Haeun, yes,โ his attempt at buying himself extra time is laughable, especially when Mr. Brain is now yelling at Ms. Heart for always wanting to get in the way of things he can handle alone, โWonderfully. Weโ Sheโ Huh, kissed me.โ
Ms. Heart is furious. She has no other choice but to reach in her purse and slap the divorce papers on the dinner table, the glasses clinking against the plates, and Jeongguk flinches. Brain is speechless, clueless on how to react.
You only seem slightly taken aback, eyebrows raising in mild surprise, โReally? Thatโs nice.โ
Jeongguk is equally clueless, subtly squeezing his eyes shut as if hoping to wake up somewhere else entirely, maybe in an ideal world where Kim Namjoon doesnโt exist and Mr. Brain and Ms. Heart are happily married.
Instead, heโs still in the library, and youโre still sitting next to him, scribbling on your English textbook. He frowns, getting pitiably lost in the view of your side profile, โYeah, nice. Huh, whenโs your date?โ
When you glance up at him, you seem to be realizing just how odd it is for the two of you to spend this much time talking about your respective hook ups, and you cringe slightly at the unusual formality, wishing Jeongguk would just tease you like he usually does when you tell him about your untruthful and made up sexual adventures.
You purse your lips in thought, โTomorrow, actually.โ
โOh. Heโs going fast.โ
โI like that.โ
โI know you do.โ
No matter the effort you put into trying to hide your amusement, a snort escapes you, and you quickly look away to recover from the childish grin spreading on your lips. You shake your head, closing the book in front of you, โYouโre fucking disgusting.โ
Jeongguk only smirks in an oddly proud way, nodding at your flustered state when he realizes he successfully managed yet again to shift the conversation from topics he doesnโt want to hear or talk about. He shrugs, โYou just said that.โ
โAnd Iโll say it again.โ
โWhatever,โ a small chuckle follows the dismissal, his hand coming to brush through his fluffy hair, getting too long for his liking, โI really wanted to see you tomorrow.โ
Once again, Jeongguk is way too honest, way too easily. Ms. Heart is marching hastily with Mr. Brain walking close behind, trying to make sense of the situation and pushing her to reconsider her actions, but itโs no use: sheโs tired, and sick of being walked over, again and again.
He doesnโt like the underlying meaning behind that, and wishes Mr. Brain would grow a pair and just swoon her back into love again. Jeongguk doesnโt like the genuine surprise etched across your face either, or, well, he doesnโt like the effect it has on him: itโs almost unbearable to accept that the blush dusting your cheeks, the one youโre probably unaware of, is caused by his unfiltered honesty. Because sincere bluntness isnโt exactly something he tries to show. Then, why does it spill out of him uncontrollably? Whyโ why do you look so beautiful like this?
โHm,โ your smile is small, but your dimple betrays it, Jeonggukโs whole resolve cracking with the way you sound dangerously decisive, โToo bad. Youโre late.โ
Jeongguk shouldnโt overthink this. Youโre simply engaging in the usual dynamic, teasing him like always, no reason for his palms to sweat. He shouldnโt panic over the way nothing about what you said feels simple, nor usual, and your tone carries more than what you both want the words to mean.
He doesnโt know if itโs a warning or a testโor worse, the truth. Maybe heโs imagining it. Maybe Brain just misinterpreted the comment, too distracted by its constant squabble with Heart, both of them ignoring Jeongguk, who is still sitting at the cluttered kitchen table with his plate half-full, surrounded by a mess of inky emotions he doesnโt have the courage to clean up.
The sound of forks clinking against plates grates against his ears, drowning out the hurried excuses spilling from your mouth, the ones youโre babbling and making up along the way of gathering your things and standing up from the round table, shouldering your bag in the same hurry you left his room with before the next time he saw you was nose to nose with Namjoon.
You huff, giving a small, tight lipped smile that should be meaningless, but to Jeongguk it isnโt, โIโll go now. See you around?โ
โHuh, sure. Let me know how it goes with Namsun.โ
You roll your eyes at the playful attempt, his grin just as empty, โRight. Bye Gguk.โ
Youโre off the hallway before he can add anything else. Not that he would have been able to. Your bag swings with your big steps, slim hands coming to absently tug your plaid skirt lower, and Jeongguk thinks and thinks.
He realizes he really doesnโt want to know how your little date goes. Would rather shoot himself rather than hearing you talk about another guy taking you out to dinner, stealing you from him and sealing the end to whatever the two of you have.
His options are narrowed. He either commits in front of you and forever changes the trajectory of your life or does something about Namjoon. But why does the option of ending his life sound much easier than stepping up to big, buff Namjoon, infatuated with the same girl he likes?
Oh.
The admission jolts him. Itโs a physical reaction that causes his chair to shriek again under his movements, but this time heโs not polite enough to apologize for it. He must look crazy, wide eyes burning holes into his hands planted steadily on the table in front of him.
The girl he likes. Youโre the girl he likes.
And every signal is there. The spark he sought for now lights a nervous feeling in his stomach, its fireworks interrupting Brain and Heartโs incessant arguing.
Does he look stupid not doing anything for the girl he likes? Not fighting for the girl heโs been falling for all this time?
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
It should be easy. It is easy.
Jeongguk canโt let the sleepless night spent reciting lines to his ceiling go to waste. Heโs sure not even theater kids could match his determination. And as he marches across campus toward the gym, where the squeak of sneakers and the echo of grunts will lead him to the person needed to put the plan into action, he reviews step by step what heโs told himself to do. Itโs a well-rehearsed script, each word, every calculated expressionโheโs gone over it a hundred times, accounting for every reaction.
Step one, be casual. Friendly, even. Approach Namjoon like thereโs nothing calculated about this interactionโno ulterior motives, no scheme brewing beneath the surface. Just a casual catch-up between two guys.
โWhatโs up, Kim,โ when Jeongguk spots the slightly taller boy exercising at a steady walking pace on the treadmill, he immediately hops onto the free one beside him.
Namjoon startles slightly, then smiles with those stupid, charming dimples of his, and itโs one that Jeongguk would probably only give if forced, โHey, Jeongguk. Long time no see.โ
The brown-haired boy nods, setting the speed and quickly catching up to Namjoon. He keeps his tone deliberately cool, even borderline disinterested, โYou been good?โ
On his left, your almost-boyfriend shrugs, jogging along, โYeah, just studying, man. What about you?โ
โPretty much the same,โ he hasnโt cracked open a book in weeks, and that study session from yesterday was just an excuse to be with you. But he canโt afford to let his thoughts linger on you too long or heโll lose focus. He needs focus. โYou catch that last game?โ
Step two, pretend to care about what Namjoon is saying and then proceed with the acting skills only to suddenly remember something totally random he wanted to mention.
โFuck, donโt remind me. I was so sure we would win,โ the sweating man sounds way too affected by the recent football match, and Jeongguk fears if he asks one more question for the sake of pretending heโll never get to the actual point.
So, he goes straight to it, โYeah, it was rough. Oh, by the way. You know ___, right?โ
The simple mention of your name causes a small stutter in Namjoonโs step, but he recovers with the stupid smile from earlier, only this time itโs wider, โOf course I know her. Why do you ask?โ
Step three, just be honest. He just has to lay it all out. Be straightforward. Tell him the truth about how heโs felt for so long and what this whole thing with you is doing to him. Itโs not a confrontationโitโs a conversation. Jeongguk will politely explain that heโs liked you for a while now, that heโs been in your life long before Namjoon, and, as a courtesy, heโd appreciate it if he would step back from pursuing you.
Civil. Calm. Totally chill. Thereโs absolutely nothing to get worked up over.
"You really don't know? Have no idea?" Jeongguk asks, his voice dropping, tone more pointed than he intended.
Namjoon slows his treadmill slightly, glancing over with furrowed brows and a faintly amused smile. โNo, man. Enlighten me.โ
โSheโs my fucking girlfriend.โ
What. The. Fuck.
That wasnโt the plan. Not even close to the plan.
โโโโเญจเงโโโโ
You feel stupid.
Wrapped around in your warmest coat, you still shiver. It could be the way your legs are exposed under your wool dress, high black boots reaching just beneath your knees. But thereโs something else to the chill, making you shake in fading jitters. The excitement of the evening you told yourself you were looking forward to morphs into anxiety, and the passing looks of people mean more than they should as minutes tick and tick; they seem to glance at you for too long, their looks heavy with what you can only imagine is judgment.
A young girl swaddled in small but striking details from head to toe โ delicate earrings that catch the light, a scarf knotted perfectly at the neck, polished nails clutching the strap of an expensive-looking bag, hair done up in a neat slicked bun โ glancing nervously at her surroundings can only mean one thing: sheโs been stood up.
Namjoon was supposed to meet you in front of the cozy cafรจ just outside the campus, its warm tones and surely even warmer ambience so very inviting. Maybe youโd go in, order a steaming hot chocolate for yourself, and chalk this up as a lesson learned. But instead, you chose to wait outside, shifting on your tiptoes every so often, scanning the crowd for a glimpse of the first man to ask you out in what felt like ages.
You feel as though youโll be forever destined to wait more when thirty minutes go by and Namjoon is nowhere to be seen.
You frown, swaying on your heels. What you feel is not disappointmentโ not at first. But that only causes you to feel worse about yourself when you realize youโre almost relieved the tall man hasnโt shown up, and heโs not here to turn fears into even scarier realities. The date would have given a concrete meaning to your actions, and the thought stirs something not exactly pleasant within you.
The scratch at the back of your mind grows harder to ignore, and no matter how much you try to shake it off, your subconscious finds ways back to it when your hand instinctively dives into the depths of the expensive purse you had specially chosen for this occasion. A purse meant to complement your carefully selected dark ensembleโ an effort that now feels entirely wasted. You spent so much time getting ready for something youโre not ready for at all.
Pulling out your phone, your thumb scrolls to Jeonggukโs number with a natural automatism, typing before you even register why heโs the first person you feel the need to tell.
You [9:39 p.m.]: hi
You [9:39 p.m.]: namjoon stood me up lol
The typing bubbles appear faster than you anticipated, and as you watch them dance across the screen, you burrow deeper into the fragile warmth of your jacket, the tip of your nose numb from the cold.
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:40 p.m.]: Whattttttt????
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:40 p.m.]: Heโs such an asshooooooole
Your first instinct is to snort at his reaction, a childish grin tugging at your lips, but it turns into a scowl when the more you reread the text, the more it sounds weird. He usually never texts like a six-year-old using his momโs iPad.
You [9:40 p.m.]: yes he is
You [9:40 p.m.]: why are u textin so weird btw lol
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:41 p.m.]: Wym weirddd
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:41 p.m.]: Iโm totally normal
You [9:41 p.m.]: wtv
You [9:42 p.m.]: u still wanna hang out?
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:42 p.m.]: Yes please
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:42 p.m.]: Want me to pick u up
sassy queen ๐๐ป [9:42 p.m.]: Where are u rn
The head tilt is unconscious, but you feel it click in place. Youโve mentioned how Jeongguk is caring, how he can read your needs like no one else and caters to them quietly, but heโs never this pliant, this malleable. You like him because itโs hard to get him to bend (and youโd rather die than let Jeongguk know about this).
You [9:43 p.m.]: is ok
You [9:43 p.m.]: iโll just walk
You [9:43 p.m.]: be there in 10
The walk usually takes you less than 10 minutes, but before meeting him, you decide to head back to your dorm and change out of these stupid fancy clothes you picked out for the date.
You keep your head low as you walk through the hallways, the full glam you put on impossible to miss as it sparkles under the fluorescent lights, just as your boots' heels echo through the corridors.
Taking off the dress and heels feels like peeling away the embarrassment of rejection, the weight of disappointment settling in as you realize you couldnโt prove to yourself that you could do it, that you can do it, take the leap and let something serious into your life.
You question whether you're even cut out for it when the guy who seemed perfect ended up proving the opposite.
Now, back in more comfortable clothes โ Jeongguk's black hoodie from the other day and baggy sweatpants โ you feel a little more like yourself. Scared of emotions, scared of commitment, no matter how many hours of your day are spent daydreaming about it.
The second you click the door of your room open, itโs like you can smell a weird shift in the air. And you do, literally sniff, scanning your surroundings for any hint of something burning or out of place.
But itโs not about the dorm in its physical state, noโ itโs the odd silence that youโre met with, the people youโre used to sharing the space with now uncharacteristically careful with their volume.
โOh my god, ___,โ that is probably why youโre visibly startled by the sudden voice coming from your side, Iseul looking like containing excitement is the hardest task sheโs ever been asked to deal with, just like the few other girls behind her, all practically vibrating, โYouโre finally here.โ
You furrow your brows, chuckling confusedly at the unusuality of it allโ well, itโs not like you donโt get along with these people. Itโs just that youโve never gone over meaningless jokes and talks about the state of the dorm, plus youโve never exactly been the center of attention like this. It feels off, and it reflects in your uncertain tone, โI am?โ
โIโm so happy for you,โ Binna chimes in next, grabbing your shoulders with way more enthusiasm than the level of your relationship with her would normally allow, and the way all of their heads nod along that it feels like a coordinated performance is starting to scare you.
โYouโreโฆ happy forโโ
โIโve always known you and Jeongguk were perfect for each other,โ the affection dripping from Binnaโs voice sickens you, maybe even more than the words sheโs speaking.
Huh?
You swear you feel your heart skip a long beat before you mask it with an obnoxious, nervous laugh, only growing more when none of them crack a smile or react, โMe andโ okay, is this a fucking joke?โ
โCโmon, ___,โ Iseul says, her sweet voice doing nothing to calm your tension, and if anything it only heightens it, โYou donโt need to hide anymore, Jeongguk told Namjoon that youโre his girlfriend.โ
Oh. So this must be a fucking joke.
And you canโt stand it.
You barely manage to shake off their relentless curiosity, the entire dorm suddenly buzzing with an interest in you after years of peaceful and civil indifference, and it only overwhelms you to the brim.
Fury boils in your chest as you step out of the building, the cold air failing to cool the anger that flares up within you. With every step, your frustration grows, and you hastily type on your phone as you make your way toward the one person thatโs responsible for your temper.
You [10:07 p.m.]: what the actual fuck jeongguk
The response comes so quickly, almost as if he were waiting for you to type it, and you scoff in disbelief. In that moment, you feel a twisted sense of understanding with serial killers. It makes you question how much control you actually have over yourself.
sassy queen ๐๐ป [10:07 p.m.]: Whatโs up?
You [10:07 p.m.]: whyโs the whole dorm asking me how's it like to be your gf?
sassy queen ๐๐ป [10:08 p.m.]: Eeehhhh???
sassy queen ๐๐ป [10:08 p.m.]: Thatโs so weird
Youโre actually gonna fuck this man up.
You [10:09 p.m.]: jeon jeongguk.
You [10:09 p.m.]: theyโre saying you told namjoon iโm your girlfriend.
sassy queen ๐๐ป [10:09 p.m.]: Donโt use my full name and the period please ๐ฅบ
You [10:10 p.m.]: iโll fucking kill you.
sassy queen ๐๐ป [10:10 p.m.]: Youโre so hot when youโre like this
You [10:10 p.m.]: shut the hell up.
The banging on his door comes shortly after, and Jeongguk doesnโt even flinch. He knows itโs you, and frankly he was even expecting your arrival to be louder, hit him a little harder than it does. And when he lets you in, you storm in his space with no room for oxygen, door closing behind you but unable to contain the volume of your rage private.
โCan you explain why the whole campus thinks weโre dating? โCause youโre not my boyfriend, and Iโm not your girlfriend, and this is not fucking funny.โ
But Jeongguk evidently does find it funny, chuckling under his hand coming to cover his mouth while the other one lifts to show you the bright screen of his cracked phone, โReally? The uni Instagram page is shipping us.โ
โShipping us?โ You snatch the device from his hands, eyes widening as you scroll through the amount of stories posted in the last hour, everyone and their mother feeling entitled to weigh in on your nonexistent relationship. You whine, a hand resting at your forehead in disbelief, โOh my god, this is ridiculous.โ
โWhat, are you ashamed of me?โ Jeongguk asks casually, walking back and sitting on the bed with a soft thud, his whole demeanor relaxed with a nonchalance that makes your left eye twitch.
You scoff, unwilling to grasp how this is even an actual thing happening to you, tossing the phone back at him, โA little bit, yeah. You think this is a fucking joke, huh? Iโm now apparently dating the uniโs most popular fuckboy.โ
The damned boy in front of you leans on his forearms, pouting just for show, โHey, thatโs mean. Iโm no fuckboy.โ
Bag thrown to the ground with a violence that it does not deserve, you start pacing back and forth in his room, letting out a borderline insane laugh, not knowing whether to scream or cry, โYes, you are. You went through every single girl in this building.โ
โDo you really think of me like that?โ
The sudden sincerity that you think you spot in his tone makes you halt your steps, body turning to him as he sits straight again, his head tilting slightly.
You sigh, frustration mounting, and you throw your head back at the ceiling for any signal from the universe that this is indeed a joke, a bad, huge joke on you, โJeongguk. Please.โ
Silence fills the room next, but it doesnโt make it any easier to think nor does it quite register in your brain, mind racing with jumbled and chaotic thoughts, barely coming through as coherent words, getting intertwined with one another.
But the more you walk from one side of the room to the other, the more youโre almost able to untangle the mess, just enough to start processing whatโs happening.
Then, a nuclear bomb wipes it all out, Jeonggukโs words the missile, his quiet tone the explosion, โI donโt want you to see nobody else.โ
โWhat the fuck?โ
The aftermath of the destruction is not only loud, ears ringing with a shrieking alarm going off, your figure stiff with shock, but you feel its heat burning your whole body in consuming flames that threaten to swallow you whole if you donโt let them take over, rise, flood every nerve until all you can feel is the rage boiling in your veins when you practically scream at him, โWhat the hell does that even mean? You're being selfish!โ
โAm I?โ Jeongguk asks calm, calculated, gaze locked on yours as if daring you to challenge him further. His tone is maddeningly measured even as he pushes himself off the bed and closes the distance between you.
Itโs like heโs planned thisโ attack after attack designed to destabilize you completely. Not only did he thrust you into the spotlight without warning, claiming you for the whole campus to see as if youโre worth nothing more than a stupid prank and a few laughs.
But now he talks with a grace that belies the chaos heโs stirred, as if his words are just another fact, something as simple as the weather, โI havenโt been seeing anybody since this summer. Since we started using no condom.โ
Your pupils tremble with something far more complex than just anger, though you refuse to give it a name. Heโs practically towering over you, his stance purposeful, making you feel small; as if the intensity of his gaze is not enough that it makes you falter, as if the humiliation heโs putting you through isnโt either. Head shaking, your voice does too, โThatโsโ not true. Youโre a fucking liar. Youโ What about Haeun?
โNothing even happened with her.โ
The speed of his denial sets you off, an incredulous scoff breaking free as you roll your tongue against the inside of your cheekโa habit youโd picked up from witnessing his easy tempers, โThen why did you tell me you kissed?โ
โBecauseโโ Jeongguk hesitates, and the pause is so out of character that it almost gives you whiplash. The boy who always has something to say suddenly seems unsure. His hand flexes at his side, a nervous tick you hadnโt noticed before, and he exhales as if the words are fighting their way out of him, โโCauseโ I was jealous.โ
โJealous?โ Your voice cracks on the word, a laugh bubbling out of you thatโs sharp and fractured, borderline unhinged. It cuts through the room like broken glass, and his expression tightens, jaw clenching. But he doesnโt interrupt.
โJealous,โ you repeat, louder this time, your incredulous tone thick with rage. โYouโre telling me you made up that bullshit because you were jealous?โ
He doesnโt respond, and it pushes you closer to your limit, on the verge of exploding. You donโt know how you find it within you, but with a long exhale and a quick prayer up at the ceiling, you meet his gaze in an almost patronizing manner, โJeongguk, we are not exclusive. I thought that was well implied. You donโt get to act like this. You donโt get to be jealous.โ
Nodding along to your words, Jeonggukโs brows draw together, his expression somewhere between anxious and defensive. Thereโs something in his eyes, something close to fear, but fear of what, you canโt quite place.
When he speaks, his voice is softer than yours, as though heโs trying to keep it from breaking, โI know. We both agreed to that, yes. Weโre both allowed to see other people.โ
The words feel rehearsed, like heโs repeated them to himself a hundred times. But with the silence stretching, itโs clear heโs struggling to say more. His lips press together briefly, and his gaze flicks to yours, searching. Itโs as though heโs waiting โ no, hoping โ youโll interject, offer something to fill the space.
You donโt. You hold firm, tilting your head slightly, your confusion evident. Your wide, questioning eyes, so big, so honest, pull the truth from him in a way you donโt intend, and he exhales like itโs been forced out of him.
โBut I donโt want you to.โ
The sheer audacity of his words hits you like a slap, the kind that stings more because of its unexpectedness. You snort, although thereโs nothing particularly amusing about your heart cracking at the middle, but you manage to keep it from resounding in your words, "Thatโs so fucking mean. Do you even hear yourself? You get to fuck whoever you want, and Iโm kept hostage? And nowโnow everybody thinks weโre dating!"
"Thatโs good," he says, simple, unflinching.
You blink, disbelief coursing through you as your lips part in a strangled gasp. "What?" The word is half a whisper, half a shout, and it escapes before you can temper it, "Youโre so selfish. I fucking hate you.โ
The emotion is foreign from what youโre used to showing him, softness in quiet ways, affection in silent gestures. But now, itโs all loud rage, the opposite of love spilling out of you in volatile waves. Your hands curl into fists at your sides, itching for release, something, anything to make him feel the way youโre being forced to feel, to cut through the weight of his seemingly impassive expression showing only the barest twitch in his brows, a crack too small to satisfy your anger.
It isnโt enough. You need more.
Your palms find his chest, shoving him with the force of every burning feeling inside you. โYouโre stupid,โ you spit, watching him take the push without exactly budging, like heโs made of stone. It only stokes your frustration further, your hands pushing again, harder this time. โAnd dumb.โ
Jeongguk doesnโt step back, doesnโt fight you. He stands there, his chest steady, absorbing your hits without a word. His lack of resistance only makes the storm inside you rage harder, and the tears youโve been holding back threaten to spill over.
You scramble for more, anything to turn the reality of what you truly feel into the illusion of anger, โAndโ andโ Why the fuck are you silent! Say something!โ You aim another punch at his chest, but itโs impossibly weaker, the exhaustion showing in your useless attempts at getting at him.
You sniff, and you know you lost against his indifference, your voice wavering feeling like a confession you didnโt mean to make. โAsshole. Youโre being so mean. Youโre making me cry.โ
Thatโs what finally breaks him. Only the tears slipping rapidly from your eyes get his resolve to crumble. His hands are on you instantly, gripping your shoulders gently but firmly, refusing to let you squirm away. You slap at them weakly, but his touch is steady, his fingers brushing strands of hair from your face, cupping your chin to tilt it up toward him.
โToots, no. Hey, hey,โ he whispers, his tone soft in a way that disarms you completely. His thumb swipes at a stray tear, but your face turns away, evading him like itโs your only line of defense. He doesnโt back down, โStop crying. Hey, look at me. Will you?โ
โStop calling me that!โ You finally snap, jerking your face away again. The tears are spilling faster now, no matter how much you want to fight them, no matter how much you want to cling to the fury. โI hate you. Youโre fucking all the girls in this college, and Iโm only fucking you, becauseโ becauseโโ
โGod,โ Jeongguk groans, exasperation dripping from his tone. Youโre about to hurl another half-formed insult or maybe even take a swing at him again, aiming low, but his next words stop you cold.
โDo I have to spell it out for you?โ His tone is quieter now, more deliberate, the vulnerability in it cutting sharper than anything else heโs said. โI like you. I broke the rule.โ
Youโre sure your heart will fail you today. It misses at least four beats, and it steals the oxygen from your lungs, along with the color from your face.
You stammer, eyes widening as your pulse picks up again and pounds in your ears. โDonโtโdonโt say shit like that. I swear to God, Iโll actually fuck you up. Stopโlying to me.โ
โWhat the fuck, ___? Iโm not lying to you,โ Jeonggukโs voice attempts to be steady but it canโt hide the desperation, as if heโs holding on by a thread. โWhy would I?โ
The question is simple.
Why would Jeongguk lie to you? Does he have a reason to fake this?
The world seems to tilt, the ground beneath you shifting in some irreparable way.
You should feel scared. You should feel repulsed at the thought of commitment, the weight of his words pressing against you like a cage. But you donโt.
Instead, your eyes dart between his, searching for cracks in his sincerity, like a frantic spectator watching a tennis match, every glance like a volley in the game of something bigger than either of you. The matchpoint sends a thrill through your chest, something overwhelming and terrifying but not unwelcome.
Jeongguk watches you closely, feeling the weight of the silence between you stretch on longer than he can handle. He knows heโs the one that should break it, knows the truth heโs holding inside has to be spoken now.
Itโs now or never. He canโt keep pretendingโthis isnโt just some casual thing to him, and heโs not ready to let it slip away without a fight. Youโve become everything he didnโt know he needed, and yet here he is, paralyzed by the fear of rejection, of being vulnerable, of watching the one thing he wants most slip right through his fingers.
But thatโs the thing, isnโt it? If he doesnโt speak up now, heโll lose everything. His fear has no place in this moment anymore.
Itโs a long exhale before his voice drops in soft honey, shaking with the weight of the truth, โLook. I know itโs hard to trust me. Youโve seen me fuck up multiple times over this stuff. But I want to stop this cycle. I want to allow myself something good,โ his eyes search for any signal that he should stop talking, but in yours he finds every reason for him not to, โAnd youโre everything good that life will ever concede me. I can'tโฆ I can't let you go. I can't lose you.โ
"Jeonggukโฆ" His name slips from your lips like a prayer you've been too afraid to speak aloud until now. But you see itโ heโs ready to find every solution, even if it means confronting the fear that has held him back for so long.
โI like you so much itโs killing me,โ he admits, voice low and raw, every syllable cracking with vulnerability.
Itโs a slow realization, like a tide that comes in quietly, softly. Youโve felt its caress for so long, and now that it embraces you wholly, you feel your heart expand, filling with the same warmth, the same longing.
The words you wish you could say are caught in your throat. You look up at him, eyes wide, trying to comprehend, to take in what heโs offering. Youโre almost afraid to ask, as if the answer will shatter something youโve worked so hard to protect, โYou like me?โ
โI lose my fucking mind when it comes to you.โ His confession is a rush of honesty that sweeps through you, his eyes not leaving yours, like heโs afraid youโll disappear if he blinks.
The world feels like itโs slowing down. Thereโs so much youโve been holding back, but you donโt know how to make the words fit, how to make them sound right.
Jeongguk takes a small step back, his voice quieter but still heavy with emotion. โItโs okay if you wanna end it here,โ he murmurs, his words barely above a whisper, like heโs bracing for the worst. โAt least it wasnโt because you got with some other stupid guy.โ
You shake your head, the thought of losing him too painful to bear. โStopโโ You let out a frustrated sigh, hands curling into fists at your sides. โGod, youโre so dumb. This could have been so much easier if youโd told me sooner.โ
He looks at you, confusion flickering across his face. โWhat do you mean?โ
You feel your chest tighten, the truth slipping out before you can stop it. โI like you too,โ you admit, the words finally leaving your lips hastly, like they were just waiting for the right moment. โI agreed to the date because I thought you were stillโฆ fucking around.โ
His face softens, and thereโs a flash of relief in his eyes. โI wasnโt. Havenโt been in so long.โ
โ...No Haeun?โ
โHell no. I donโt want no kiss if it isnโt from you.โ
You laugh, a low sound that fills the air between you. โCheesy fucker,โ you tease, but thereโs a warmth in your chest now, a feeling you canโt ignore. โWell, if you want to know, I wasnโt seeing anybody either. Namjoon asked me out randomly, but I havenโt been with anyone else sinceโฆ this started.โ
His eyes widen slightly, and for a moment, everything is quiet. He looks at you like heโs just heard something he never expected to hear. โOh,โ he says softly.
โYeah.โ
Jeongguk steps closer to you, his hands reaching for you, voice thick, โIโm so sorry, baby. I never meant to make you cry. Itโs breaking my heart.โ His thumb brushes across your cheek, gently wiping away the remnants of the tears you hadnโt even realized had fallen. โIโm so sorry.โ
You shake your head, your heart swelling with both regret and tenderness. โItโs okay,โ you say softly. โIโm sorry for yelling all that stuff at you. I donโt hate you. Iโฆโ
Before you can finish, his lips crash against yours, and all the confusion, all the fears, prove themselves to be worth this moment.
They dissolve into something real, the kiss trying to make up for lost time, for all the things left unsaid.
When you pull away, your foreheads resting together, Jeonggukโs voice is quiet but determined. โCome here, baby. Youโre mine.โ
โProve it.โ
I want to request a ff. can you make yandere CEO sugar daddy jungkook ff? if you are accepting my request then please don't make yn the typical humble sweet innocent girl who gots herself into that situation just because her dear mom or grandma is on verge of dying and she doesn't have any money so she took that path to save them. no please make her character different. Like a spoiled brat and arrogant girl who wanna have lavish life and power forever and takes advantage of the fact of having powerful handsome most sought after man on her side. kinda gold digger type but not really since she doesn't want to leave him and she actually enjoys his obsession/yandereness until it gets too much. I want to actually see kinda negative female lead than typical positive character? Doesn't really have to be negative just bitchy kinda toxic demanding clingy character etc.
Btw i loved your ffs who is in control and seat of power. I hope you keep making more yandere Jungkook ffs in future. I hope to see more of your ffs in future. You have already become one of my fav author in Tumblr ๐ฉท
pairing: sd!jungkook x reader genre: one-shot & yandere au
summary: You can have everything you want and need as long as you have Jeon Jungkook by your side. You were enjoying everything that Jungkook gives you and as long as you obey him. Youโre sure to yourself that you will never fail him but he was the one who failed you. Everything is fine until he gets too much.ย
contentย & warnings: sugar daddy & ceo jk, college reader, manipulative behavior, unhealthy behavior, possessive & obsessive jk, yandere, bitchy reader, jk sabotaging readerโs career
date of release: June 12, 2023 | evening (KST)
Preview:
โBaby.โ Is the first thing he said after a long silence between the two of you.
โA-are youโฆ Mad?โ He asked in his low and soft voice like he really sounded guilty from what he just did.ย
โWhat was that, Jungkook?โ You finally spoke and annoyance is evident in your voice.ย
โBaby, Iโm sorry. I just want us to have our dinner because we havenโt done it for weeks already.โ His voice was still low and soft just like a child that was scrolled by his mom.ย
He doesnโt like it when youโre mad. It rarely happens but when you did, he felt like he did really something terrible for you to get this angry.ย
โIt was our due date this week, Jungkook and weโre not yet done with our paper. We still have a lot of things to do and I donโt understand why you canโt understand it.โย
Heโs getting anxious with how your voice sounds. Youโre so pissed and he immediately regrets the actions he just did.ย
You sound like you hate him now and that you regret being with him. Itโs like any minute, you would open your door and leave him alone.ย
By just thinking about it makes him crazy.ย
He held your hands and placed them on his lips and you can feel his hands shaking.
โY/N baby Iโm sorry! Iโll promise that Iโll be the one to finish all your works I swear. You already knew that those things are only a piece of cake for me and I can finish that in no time I promise!โ He speaks so fast and you feel his anxiousness within his shaking voice and hands.ย
โI acted without thinking. Iโm sorry. I didnโt mean to upset you.โ He added as he intertwined his fingers with yours and his lips touched the back of your hand.
Heโs too scared that he has to feel you right now in order to calm his nerves because when he doesn't, you might drift away from him.ย
โBut seriously, Jungkook. What was that?โ You asked after a long silence.ย
The more that you call him by his name, the more anxious he gets because you donโt call him only by his name.ย
โWhen I read your messageโ
โI thought you didnโt read them?โ He looked at you in your eyes and he bites his lips.ย
โI lied. Iโm sorry.โ He admits and you become more confused with his actions. You donโt understand whatโs with him.ย
โBaby, I'm uneasy and I felt that something is not right and I saw your location and I saw the guy and I donโt know, I feel like my heart will explode! Babe, I canโt sit well because youโve been declining my invites multiple times and I donโt know whatโs happening and Iโm overthinking things.โ
Even though he talks too fast, you understand where heโs coming from. Youโve seen this before and you know the reason why this is happening.
โSo you thought that I ditched you for Yuan?โ You asked, trying to hide your smile.ย
โWhoโs Yuan?โ When he asked that, you immediately cracked up.
โBaby, whoโs Yuan?โ He asked once again.
โThe guy Iโm with. Jungkook, what the heck!โ You canโt take it as you laugh so hard.ย
โBabe, why are youโ
โYouโre getting jealous of someone you forgot! Whoโs not going to laugh at that?โ You speak in between your laughs.ย
Your laughs continued until you realized that he doesnโt find the situation funny. Your laugh slowly fades when you see how serious he is.ย
โI was just kidding! Why so serious, Ggukie?โ You spoke and you clung to his arm. You still find the situation funny and you tried your best not to laugh since heโs being serious.
Afterย a few moments, he spoke.ย
โDid you reallyโฆ Ditch me?โ He asked in his low and soft voice and you instantly looked at him in horror while you shook your head.
โOf course not! Why would I do that?โ You respond in defense. He looked at your eyes trying to see the sincerity of your words but heโs having a hard time finding it. He looked away as he looked down and you took a deep breath.
โBabe, look at me.โ You caressed his face as you moved his head to look at you. His eyes glow in the dark and you love how pleading his eyes look.ย
โI understand where youโre coming from but believe me when I say that whenever I decline your invites is because I really do have to finish something. Babe, you know how I value my academics and I am aiming for a latin honor. You know that right?โ You brushed your thumb off his cheek and he closed his eyes to feel your touch.ย
โAnd Yuan? Heโs just a research partner and nothing else. And please, donโt be insecure because of him. Heโs nothing compared to you. And I donโt like him either.โ You lean forward to kiss his forehead.ย
โDonโt you ever think that I would ever like him because itโs a fucking insult. I have a standard, babe and he didnโt even meet the 1% of my standard.โ You spoke in a demeaning tone before you pushed your back at the backrest.ย
a/n: This is the first time that I received a ff request and tbh, I was kinda nervous because I might not meet the expectation of the person who requested it. I write everything based on what the ff requester wants and hopefully, I did it right! It was hard for me to go out of my comfort zone when it comes to writing (what I mean is writing a ff that wasnโt me who plotted it) but I realized, why not try it? To the one who requested this, I hope youโll like it!ย
pairing: idol! jungkook x editor! reader
genre: smut, ex lovers, second chance au, angst with smut, toxic ex au
summary: You loved him before the lights, before the headlines, before he learned how to disappear.Now heโs back โ older, hotter, famous โ and this time,ย youโreย the one calling the shots. But Jeon Jungkook doesnโt do endings. Only encores.
w.c: 10k
author's note: writing and creating stories takes a lot of time, and no matter how much i love doing this and jungkook, i would love your support and feedback ๐ค
Youโve always known how to keep secrets. Itโs a requirementโthe requirementโof survival in an industry that trades on whispers, scandals, and carefully curated lies. Fashion is ruthless, a pretty monster wearing designer heels, and no one understands that better than you.
Two years of blood, sweat, and designer tears later, you've earned your throne at Vogue Korea. A glass-walled office overlooking Seoul's constellation of lights, your name etched in gold next to campaigns that make lesser editors weep with envy. You didn't just climb the ladder; you conquered it in six-inch heels.
They call you the Ice Queen of Editorial. Untouchable. Unshakeable. The woman who can stare down Korea's biggest idols without so much as a flutter of mascara-coated lashes. Your boundaries aren't just lines in the sandโthey're walls of steel and glass, keeping your personal life locked away where it belongs.
Youโve been handed the crown jewel of assignments: the exclusive BTS cover story.
The kind of story that turns editors into legends. Or ruins them completely.
โYou must be feeling the pressure,โ Hyerin teases, nudging your elbow as you both stand by the studio coffee station. โIf I had to face seven of the most beautiful men on Earth, Iโd probably collapse.โ
You smile lightly, perfectly controlled. โLuckily, fainting isnโt part of my job description.โ
Hyerin laughs, tossing her silky hair back. โYouโre seriously not nervous? Not even a little?โ
Before you can respond, another voice cuts inโcool and sharp as glass.
โY/Nโs never nervous,โ Kara says smoothly, sidling up with a carefully constructed smile. Her eyes skim over your perfectly ironed blouse, searching for any flaw she can exploit. โEven when she probably should be.โ
You meet her stare evenly. โThereโs nothing to be nervous about. Itโs just another day at work.โ
โOh, sure,โ Kara shrugs, delicately adjusting her blazer. โJust the biggest magazine cover of the year. With the biggest K-pop group in history. But youโre rightโno pressure at all.โ
You hold your tongue, refusing to give her the satisfaction of seeing you flustered. Karaโs smile widens, eyes glittering dangerously.
โDonโt worry,โ she says softly. โWeโre all rooting for you.โ
As she walks away, Hyerin gives you a sympathetic glance. โIgnore her. Sheโs just mad they picked you.โ
โSheโll get over it,โ you say calmly, taking a sip of coffee. But privately, you wonder if she ever will. Karaโs eyes feel permanently locked on your back, waiting for you to slipโand sheโd love nothing more than to watch you fall.
You breathe deeply, shaking off the brief flash of anxiety. Kara isnโt your problem today.
Your problem just walked through the studio doors.
You straighten your shoulders, lift your chin, and mask your pounding heart beneath layers of polished composure.
You feel Jungkookโs presence before you see him. Hear the chatter ripple across the set, feel the shift in the air. Turning slowly, you catch sight of him walking toward makeup, tTattooed fingers, midnight hair, confident smile charming everyone in his orbit.
He hasnโt noticed you yet, but your pulse already quickens. You havenโt been face-to-face since he vanished from your life years ago, choosing fame over what you once shared. Not even your closest colleagues know about your pastโnot Hyerin, certainly not Kara. To them, youโre the girl who can handle any celebrity without batting an eye.
But Jungkook isnโt just any celebrity. Heโs your first heartbreak. Your only weakness.
And the moment his eyes find yours across the room, his casual smile fading into something raw and hungry, you realize secrets never stay hidden forever.
Not when every glance he sends your way feels like a promiseโEncore. Weโre not done yet.
Your breath catches painfully in your throat, stomach twisting into a knot so tight it leaves you dizzy. For all your polished composure, the sight of Jungkook still manages to unravel you like loose threads on a designer gown.
Seeing him again feels like reopening a wound you spent years pretending had healed. It floods you with memories you'd promised yourself to forgetโquiet nights tangled in sheets, whispered promises that felt unbreakable, how he used to hold you as if you were the most precious thing heโd ever touched.
But then came the silence. Slow at first, then deafening. A text left unread, calls unanswered. You waited like a fool, convinced something must've happened, sure heโd reach out again and say everything was fine. But days turned into weeks, then months, and eventually you stopped countingโstopped waiting.
He'd left you in a silence louder than any goodbye could've been.
It still haunts you, that hollow uncertainty. All those unanswered questions, the ache of wondering why you hadn't been enoughโwhy something that had been your entire world had apparently meant so little to him.
Even now, standing across a crowded room from him, you feel nineteen again, confused and heartbroken, questioning yourself: Was it you? Was it fame? Or was he just that good at faking forever?
Your hands tremble slightly, and you quickly clasp them behind your back, steadying your breath, forcing your expression back into neutrality. You are not that girl anymore. You're not nineteen, naive and waiting.
You're the woman who clawed her way up the ladder, who built herself from the ground up, and who refuses to be unraveled by Jeon Jungkook ever again.
Yet, as his gaze locks onto yours and his expression shiftsโsomething fragile breaking beneath the confident maskโyou realize you might not have a choice.
Your hands tremble slightly, and you quickly clasp them behind your back, steadying your breath, forcing your expression back into neutrality. You are not that girl anymore. You're not nineteen, naive and waiting.
You're the woman who clawed her way up the ladder, who built herself from the ground up, and who refuses to be unraveled by Jeon Jungkook ever again.
You grit your teeth, straightening your posture defiantly. No, you're not going to fall apart because he decided to show up now, years later. It doesnโt matter how familiar his gaze still feels, or how your stomach flips traitorously when his eyes linger a second too long. Itโs just shock, you reason. The surprise of seeing someone from your past. He means nothing now. He canโt mean anythingโnot after he left you drowning in unanswered questions.
And yet, as his gaze locks onto yours and his expression shiftsโsomething fragile breaking beneath the confident maskโyou shove down the dangerous impulse fluttering inside you.
Because you wonโt allow it. Not today. Not ever.
But Jungkook tilts his head slightly, eyes darkening with an intensity you know too well, and you feel your carefully constructed resolve begin to tremble at the edges.
It doesnโt matter, you remind yourself harshly. Youโll never make the same mistake twice. Not for Jungkook. Not for anyone.
Still, the moment he takes a step toward you, your heart skipsโjust once.
And you hate yourself for it.
And itโs terrifying how much your body still reacts, how tightly your stomach knots, how you feel yourself leaning backward without meaning to. You donโt even realize youโve stopped breathing.
But just before he can get closerโ
โJungkook! Manager wants you in the briefing room, now!โ
The shout cuts across the set, snapping him back to reality.
He hesitates. A small shift of weight. A flicker of something unreadable in his eyes. Then he turns, walking toward the exit without another glance.
You make yourself go still, expression smooth, breath finally releasing.
Heโs gone again.
And you hate how that emptiness still lingers in the space he almost crossed.
The studio smelled like caffeine, expensive cologne, and urgency.
Light rigs hummed above, shifting shadows across white backdrops. Stylists darted like bees between racks of designer coats and racks of idols. The floor was a mosaic of garment bags, wires, coffee cups, and carefully controlled chaos.
And you were in the eye of the storm.
Clipboards. Checklists. The shoot brief folded neatly in your tote, annotated with sharp red edits. Youโd been here since seven. Confirming the team, adjusting the timeline after a last-minute delivery delay, nodding politely through the photographerโs temper tantrum over lighting angles.
Professional. Polished. In control.
Just like always.
โIโll need the group on set in twenty,โ you told Hyerin as you skimmed the latest schedule, your voice calm despite the pressure gnawing at your ribs. โCan we get final approval on the beige Balenciaga set for the third look? The stylistโs still undecided.โ
Hyerin nodded, phone already raised to send the message.
And thenโ
A ripple in the room. Nothing visible at first. Just a shift. The kind that presses into your skin before you understand whatโs happening. Like the barometric pressure dropping before a storm.
You didnโt have to turn. You knew.
BTS had arrived. This time, fully.
Voices lifted across the space. Polite bows, excited murmurs, stylists practically vibrating. You focused on your clipboard, eyes locked on the line that read: Group cover, final set โ standing profile + seated variation.
You could feel it before you saw him. Like a magnet realigning in your chest.
Jeon Jungkook.
He wasnโt supposed to matter. Not anymore. Not here.
You glanced up onceโonly for a secondโand there he was.
Dark hair, slightly damp. A black oversized tee clinging to his frame like it had no choice. Tattoos curling down his arm like vines. He was talking to one of the stylists, something easy in his body, but thenโ
His eyes found yours. Again.ย
And froze. As if the moment before seemed unbelievable to him, and now he got a confirmation that it was truly you who he saw before.
For one suspended moment, the studio blurred. Sound dulled. All you could hear was the low pulse in your ears, thudding like memory. His gaze didnโt flicker. Didnโt flinch.
It lingered.
You turned away first.
Professional, you reminded yourself. You could breathe later.
Behind you, a quiet voice laced with syrup and venom sliced through the air. โWell, donโt you look composed.โ
Kara.
You didnโt bother turning. Her heels clicked as she approached, each step full of intention.
โIโd be shaking,โ she continued, feigning casual amusement. โIf he looked at me like that.โ
Your clipboard didnโt move.
โI donโt mix work with fantasy,โ you said coolly.
Kara laughed, bright and biting. โRight. Of course. Youโre very composed.โ
Before you could answer, the studio door opened wider, and the rest of the crew flooded in behind the members. Lights adjusted. Cables plugged. The moment passed.
But your stomach? Still twisted.
You didnโt have time for this. Not the memories. Not the questions. Not the way your breath still stumbled just because he was in the same room.
You walked across the set with quick, clean steps, addressing the camera assistant. You didnโt look at him again.
You didnโt need to.
Because suddenly, he was walking toward you.
You caught it in your peripheralโthe blur of black, the low timbre of his voice as he murmured a polite greeting to the stylist he passed. He was smiling, charming, textbook idol.
But he was walking toward you.
And you didnโt move.
Behind him, Taehyung tilted his head, brows subtly furrowing.
โWhereโs he going?โ he murmured to Jimin, his voice low enough not to carry.
Jimin looked up from his water bottle, following the path of Jungkookโs steps.
โWho is thatโโ He paused. Squinted.
His expression shifted slowly.
โNo way,โ he muttered. โIs thatโฆ Y/N?โ
Taehyungโs eyes narrowed as he got a better look.
โDamn,โ he said under his breath. โShe really changed.โ
โShe doesnโt look like a college student anymore,โ Jimin added, then whistled low. โShe looks like sheโd step on your throat for blinking at the wrong moment.โ
Taehyung snorted. โAnd Jungkookโs walking straight toward her like itโs nothing.โ
Jiminโs smile faded a little. โItโs not nothing.โ
They exchanged a glance.
One of quiet recognition.
One that said: This is going to get complicated.
Jungkook stopped just close enough for it to be plausible. Two colleagues. Two professionals. A friendly exchange in the middle of a crowded set.
But you felt the heat of him at your side. The static in the air between your bodies. The weight of five years in the space between his next breath and your silence.
โDidnโt expect to see you here,โ he said.
His voice was lower now. Smooth, familiar. Dangerous.
You kept your eyes on the call sheet in your hands.
โThen maybe you shouldโve read your shoot brief.โ
He let out a quiet, amused exhale. โGuess I was distracted.โ
You finally turned to face him, slow and deliberate.
He looked at you like you were a memory he wanted to taste again. And you hated how much you felt it in your knees.
โStill pretending I donโt exist?โ he asked softly.
You smiledโpolite, cold.
โYouโre not that hard to ignore.โ
He tilted his head, amused. โYou used to say I was impossible to forget.โ
You didnโt blink. โPeople change.โ
Something flickered behind his eyes. The smile dimmed, only slightly.
And you hated that it made your chest ache.
โYeah,โ he said quietly. โThey do.โ
You stepped back first. Not because you were retreatingโbut because if you stayed, youโd say something youโd regret.
โWeโre about to start,โ you said, voice crisp. โPlease get into wardrobe.โ
He didnโt argue. But his gaze lingered like the brush of fingers on skinโsomething remembered. Something unfinished.
You turned on your heel and walked away.
And behind you, Jungkook watched like he was seeing something he thought he'd lost forever.
You walk with your back straight, spine stiff, each click of your heels against the polished floor louder than the last. The studio spins in a blur around youโshutters firing, stylists buzzing, interns darting pastโbut your body moves like itโs on autopilot.
You donโt look back.
You donโt need to see him to feel the weight of his stare still pressing into your skin, hot and searching. Your lungs burn quietly, your heart hammering beneath the silk of your blouse in a rhythm that doesnโt belong to a woman in control.
You handled that well, you tell yourself. He didnโt rattle you. Not really. It was nothingโjust a greeting. Just a ghost in designer boots. You didnโt flinch.
But your fingers still tremble as you slide the clipboard into your bag. And his scentโfaint on the air, sandalwood and heatโlingers like a bruise.
That voice. That voice you used to fall asleep to.
He said so little, but it was too much. Too soft. Too knowing. Too close to the edge of the past you buried under ambition and late-night edits and deadlines that couldnโt be missed. A past that still knows exactly how to make your mouth dry and your pulse quicken.
You exhale through your nose, slow and tight, pressing your thumb into your palm until it stings.
This isnโt college. This isnโt your bedroom at 3 a.m. waiting for his text. You are not that girl anymore.
And he doesnโt get to reach into your life now just because he remembered how to say your name.
Across the studio, a pair of eyes followed your every step.
Kara leaned against a lighting rig, one arm crossed lazily over her chest, a paper cup of overpriced coffee in hand. She wasnโt watching the shoot, not really. Her gaze was fixed on youโyour clenched jaw, your too-smooth posture, the slight tremble in your fingers as you adjusted your sleeve.
Her lips curled just barely at the edges.
She didnโt say anything. She didnโt have to.
She just sipped her coffee and tilted her head thoughtfully, like a girl already collecting dots to connect.
And when her eyes flicked over to Jungkook, now slipping into wardrobe, and then back to youโ
Something in her expression sharpened.
She had nothing solid. Not yet.
But Kara had always known how to smell blood long before the wound appeared.
The shoot was already in full swing by the time you were called in.
High-key lighting flared against the matte white backdrop as the photographer directed the rest of the group into place. Jungkook hadnโt shot his solos yet โ heโd been saved for last, as if they all knew the best tension builds slowly.
You were reviewing proofs on a monitor when the stylist approached you, breathless and mid-hustle.
โSorry, Y/Nโcan you approve the jewelry for Jungkookโs third look? Weโve got the options prepped, but he wants to wear the chain without layering.โ She didn't wait for a full answer, already turning back. โHeโs in the fitting room.โ
You donโt hesitate. Donโt sigh. You just nod once and follow, clipboard in hand, pulse tucked neatly beneath your professionalism.
Itโs just another detail. Another decision. Youโve approved a hundred accessories today already.
But you havenโt approved him.
The fitting area isnโt private. Just a curtained nook off the main set, half-lit by dressing bulbs and cluttered with half-dressed mannequins and hangers heavy with sponsored silk.
And heโs there when you slip inside. Shirtless.
Silver chain dangling from his fingers, tattoos curling down his arm like they belong to a different man than the boy you once knew.
He looks over his shoulder the moment he hears you enter. His lips curve slowly, like this is a scene heโs played in his head a thousand times already.
โOh,โ he says. โThey sent you.โ
You donโt react. Youโre too tired for games and too exposed for softness.
โOnly because the chain needs editorial sign-off,โ you say coolly.
He turns to face you fully, unhurried. Like the air between you isnโt thick enough to choke on.
โThen by all means,โ he murmurs, offering the necklace like a dare, โapprove me.โ
You step forward without flinching, though every part of you wants to be somewhereโanywhereโelse. The chain is cool in your palm. His hand is warm. The heat of his body radiates as you move into his space, standing just close enough to clasp the piece around his bare neck.
His skin smells like cologne and memory. Like summer and sweat and one a.m. phone calls youโll never get back.
You keep your eyes down. Your fingers are steady as you drape the chain across his collarbones, lock it into place behind his neck.
He watches you in the mirror. Doesnโt blink.
โStill pretending I donโt affect you?โ he asks, low enough that no one outside this curtain will ever hear.
You donโt look at him. Donโt let him win.
โYouโre not that hard to ignore.โ
He laughs, soft and sharp. It brushes the side of your cheek like smoke.
โLiar.โ
You step back. One clean motion. No hesitation.
Your eyes scan the chain against his chest. Simple. Effective. Professional.
โIt works,โ you say.
Heโs still looking at you. Not with smugness now, but something quieter. Studying the way your arms stay crossed. The way your voice never shakes, even when your throat does.
โYou always liked this one,โ he says, tapping the charm. โYou said it made me look dangerous.โ
โThat was a long time ago.โ
His smile shifts. โYou still look at me like itโs not.โ
You leave before you can answer. Let the curtain fall shut behind you like a closing door.
And you donโt breathe again until youโre halfway down the hallway.
The bathroom is cold and sterile and mercifully empty.
You close the door behind you, flip the lock, and let your clipboard fall to the counter with a dull clatter.
Itโs only thenโonly thenโthat your shoulders drop.
Your hands brace against the sink, breath coming out in one sharp exhale like itโs been trapped under your ribs since you walked into that fitting room. Your reflection in the mirror is still composed, still preciseโฆ but your eyes are too bright, and your skin is too warm, and the chain you touched is still clinging to your fingertips like a memory you canโt scrub off.
You run cold water, splash your wrists, press your fingers to your temples.
Get a grip.
This is work. He is work.
Youโve survived far worse than being this close to someone who once knew how to love you. Who once made you believe it would last.
Youโre not that girl anymore.
You fix your lipstick. Smooth your blouse.
By the time you unlock the door and step back into the hallway, your expression is perfect again.
As if nothing ever touched you.
The studio has thinned to a skeleton crew.
Light rigs now buzz on low. Laptops closed, garment bags zipped, coffee cups abandoned on carts. A few stylists linger in quiet conversations by the exit, voices hushed with the kind of fatigue that only comes after a perfect shot.
Youโre alone in the hallway just outside the dressing area, waiting for the final export to transfer. The hum of the hard drive beside you is the only sound. The air smells like cold metal and the ghost of sweat.
Itโs a clean ending. You did your job. No mistakes. No slips.
And yet.
You hear the footsteps before you see himโslow, deliberate, not echoing loud but close. You donโt need to turn. You already know.
โDidnโt think youโd still be here,โ Jungkook says, voice low behind you.
You glance over your shoulder. Heโs out of wardrobe now, in a simple hoodie and sweats, hair still slightly damp from styling. His tattoos are half-hidden under the sleeves, but his eyes are all sharp edge and unfinished business.
You straighten. โWaiting on a drive.โ
He nods, steps closer. Not too close. Just enough.
โThey left in a rush,โ he says. โDidnโt even say goodbye.โ
You know heโs not talking about the team.
You exhale slowly. โIt was a long day.โ
โRight.โ A pause. โYou always were good at making things efficient.โ
You turn fully now, facing him with that expression youโve perfectedโthe cool editor, the one no one questions.
โDid you need something, Jungkook?โ
His tongue rests against the inside of his cheek. He doesnโt smile.
โYeah,โ he says. โI need to know why youโre acting like we didnโt matter.โ
The words land heavy. No pretense. No smirk. Just a quiet ache, sharpened by guilt.
You blink once. Slowly.
โBecause you acted like we didnโt,โ you say.
The silence between you stretches. Presses.
You see it hit himโfull in the chest. He doesnโt argue. Doesnโt flinch.
โI didnโt know how to end it,โ he says finally. โBack then. I was selfish.โ
โYou were a coward.โ Your voice stays even, but your throat burns. โYou couldโve called. Texted. Anything. But you just disappeared.โ
โI thought it would be easier if I let you hate me.โ
You scoff, almost laugh. โEasier for who?โ
He steps closer. This time itโs too close. Close enough to smell his skin again, to feel the heat rolling off him like static. The hallway is dim now. Only emergency lights glowing soft along the floorboards.
โI still remember everything,โ he says.
Your heart stutters. You hate it.
โI remember your old apartment. That shitty mattress on the floor. How you used to cry when you couldnโt finish an article.โ He pauses, voice softening. โThe way youโd fall asleep against my chest like you belonged there.โ
You stare at him. Frozen. Your breath is stuck somewhere just below your ribs.
He leans inโjust a fraction. Not touching. But the air between your mouths is electric.
โDo you remember any of it?โ he asks, voice barely above a whisper.
You do.
Of course you do.
But you donโt give him that.
Instead, you tilt your head and say, evenly:
โYouโre five years too late.โ
You walk away before he can see the tremble in your hands.
And behind you, Jungkook doesn't call after you.
He just stands in the hallway, quiet and still, like heโs afraid of how much he still wants to follow.
The suite smells like charcoal-grilled meat and takeout beer. The shootโs over. The glamor is gone.
Theyโve all crammed into Namjoonโs apartment for a late dinner, half-unwinding, half-rehashing the chaos of the day. Yoongiโs in the corner scrolling on his phone. Jinโs talking over everyone about how the lighting made him look โunfairly youthful.โ But Jungkook hasnโt touched his food.
Heโs nursing a beer. And he hasnโt said more than a few words all night.
Taehyung notices first.
โYou good?โ he asks, lazily tossing a cushion at him from across the couch.
Jungkook doesnโt look up. โYeah.โ
Jimin lifts an eyebrow. โYouโve been zoning out since we left the studio.โ
Thereโs a beat of silence.
Then Jungkook exhales and runs a hand through his hair.
โShe was really there.โ
Jin, mid-chew, frowns. โWho?โ
Jungkook glances at the ceiling, leans back, eyes unfocused.
โY/N.โ
The name still tastes strange in his mouth.
โSheโsโฆ she was our editorial lead. For the cover.โ
Yoongi finally looks up. โSeriously?โ
โShe didnโt even flinch,โ Jungkook mutters. โLike I never existed.โ
Namjoon gives him a long look. โYou expected a welcome hug?โ
โNo,โ Jungkook says, quieter. โI donโt know what I expected. But notโฆ that.โ
He thinks of the way she stoodโstraight-backed, calm, like sheโd stripped him from her system entirely. He thinks of her voice. How carefully detached it was. Youโre five years too late.The line replays in his chest like a lyric.
โShe looked good,โ Jungkook says after a pause. โBetter than before.โ
โBetter without you,โ Yoongi says flatly.
Jungkook doesnโt reply.
Taehyung sighs, sitting up. โItโs insane that youโre surprised. You ghosted her while fucking your way through rookie girl groups.โ
โI didnโtโโ Jungkook winces. โI didnโt mean for it to happen like that.โ
โBut it did,โ Namjoon says, voice firm. โYou left her. And you never gave her a real goodbye. You just vanished.โ
Jimin shifts, arms crossed. โYou think she forgot? That she sat around waiting while you made headlines with girls you didnโt even text back?โ
โI was overwhelmed,โ Jungkook snaps, frustration leaking out. โWe were finally being notice, I was twenty, the world was on fireโโ
โAnd she was in the middle of it with you,โ Taehyung cuts in. โUntil you acted like she was a phase you could leave behind.โ
That shuts him up.
Jungkook stares at the label on his bottle. His jaw ticks.
โShe looked right through me today,โ he says quietly. โLike I never touched her. Like she doesnโt still exist in my head every fucking day.โ
Silence falls over the room.
Then Jin sighs and pats his shoulder. โWell. Maybe now you know how it felt.โ
You hold the final print like it owes you something.
Not just a paycheck. Not just another spread to fill your portfolio. But proof that you belong here.
Vogue Korea โ October Issue. The one everyone wanted to work on. And you got it.
The paper stock is matte heavyweight โ no gloss, no gimmick. The cover design minimal: just the groupโs name in clean serif and the issue title in metallic foil, whispering luxury. Echoes of the Future.
You flip through the pages like you havenโt already memorized the entire layout. But it still hits. The gravity. The precision. The power of it.
Each editorial frame is stripped to its bones โ no backdrops, no props, no distractions. Just symmetry, shadowplay, and seven of the most photographed men in the world, captured like youโve never seen them before.
Jimin in sharp Cรฉline tailoring, wet hair pushed off his forehead, lips parted like heโs about to ruin someone. Namjoon in a crisp Ferragamo overcoat and nothing underneath. Minimal styling. Maximum command. Taehyung draped in silk Givenchy, silver rings on every finger, a single brow arched like a dare. Yoongi โ Gucci and attitude. Seated. Unbothered. A king tired of his throne. Jin in a Bottega turtleneck with sculptural shoulders, the kind of silhouette only he could make feel warm. Hoseokโs frame wrapped in a monochrome Rick Owens layered set, gaze tilted away from camera โ like he knows youโre looking. And Jungkook. Front and center. Mugler suit. Bare chest. One silver chain. Wet strands falling over his brow, a half-smirk caught between innocence and provocation.
You chose that shot. Pushed for it. Itโs not about sex. Itโs about control. Power. Presence.
Thereโs no overstyling. No theatrics. Just tension. The kind that doesnโt need words.
When you close the issue and step into the elevator of the JW Marriott rooftop lounge, your reflection catches in the mirror: off-the-shoulder Alaรฏa column dress in black crepe, Louboutin heels, lips painted the exact shade of silent danger.
You look expensive. Untouchable. Editorial.
Exactly how you planned it.
The party has already started by the time you arrive โ hosted in the private event wing, high above Seoulโs skyline. Dim, golden lighting. Smooth jazz threaded with ambient house. Crystal glasses passed by silent staff in Tom Ford uniforms. Everyone here is someone.
Vogue doesnโt just launch a cover โ it celebrates it. Especially one this anticipated. Especially when the entire campaign broke engagement records before it hit print.
And when the subject is BTS? The fashion world watches. So tonight isnโt just a party. Itโs an affirmation. For the magazine. For the editorial team. For you.
You float through it with your usual ease โ nodding to the creative director from Boucheron, chatting with the head of marketing from Dior Beauty, accepting compliments on the issue from half the room without blinking.
Until someone mentions it.
โDid you hear BTS might actually show tonight?โ
You donโt flinch. Not externally.
You just let the champagne touch your lips and smile like it doesnโt matter.
Like you didnโt already feel the air in the room shift.
Because when you turn your head โ just a little, just enough โ you see him.
Jeon Jungkook. Walking in through the side entrance, flanked by two staffers and dressed in black-on-black: a Saint Laurent suit jacket left open over a silk shirt, sheer enough to tease the curve of his chest. No tie. Just skin, chain, stare.
He looks different tonight. Not like the idol you edited into iconography. Not like the ghost who haunted your hallway last week.
He looks like a man who came here with a purpose.
And his eyes are already on you.
He looks like a man who came here with a purpose.
And his eyes are already on you.
The others didnโt come.
Namjoon had RSVPโd but sent a polite decline. Youโd caught wind of Jimin flying out for a brand shoot in Tokyo. The rest were likely busy or deliberately laying low โ as expected.
But he showed up.
Of all people.
You canโt tell if the audacity makes you laugh or bite the rim of your glass harder.
Jungkook doesnโt approach you. Not at first.
You feel his gaze like pressure behind your bare shoulder. But he moves slowly through the room โ greets the Vogue team with a bow, gives the photographer a brief, easy hug. Accepts a drink from a server. Ends up near the bar with a woman you vaguely recognize from the Seoul fashion circuit โ a model with collarbones sharp enough to cut glass, her dress barely skimming the line of decency.
She leans in when she speaks to him. Laughs too brightly. Touches his forearm once, casually.
He doesn't touch her back. Doesnโt even fully turn toward her. His eyes are somewhere else.
You.
You catch him watching you more than once. Not with hunger. Not yet. Just a quiet study.
The glances become a pattern. A beat you start to recognize.
And still, he doesnโt move.
But others do.
Youโre halfway through your second glass when two men โ suits, handsome, not strangers to the room โ flank you near the edge of the terrace. One is from an ad agency youโve worked with before. The otherโs from an international menswear brand.
They talk shop. Compliment your dress. One of them offers you another drink before you can say no. The other leans in when he speaks, a little too close to your ear, and you catch the ghost of his cologne mixed with something slightly sour.
You smile. Politely. The way you always do.
But you're aware of how their eyes follow the dip of your neckline like theyโve been given permission. One of them lets his fingers rest too long against your elbow. The other jokes, "Are all editors this pretty or are you the exception?" and doesnโt seem to care that you donโt laugh.
You glance across the room without meaning to.
Heโs still there.
Still watching.
Jungkookโs grip on his glass is tighter now. The model beside him keeps talking, oblivious. Heโs not listening. You know that jaw too well. The tension behind it. The twitch when heโs about to break.
You take another sip. Feel the flush of alcohol under your skin. Your vision gets softer at the edges, but the awareness sharpens. You know how this ends. You feel it humming beneath your ribs, hot and inevitable.
And when the man beside you brushes your wrist again โ subtle, casual, entitled โ you donโt pull away fast enough.
But Jungkook moves.
Jungkook doesnโt make a scene.
Thatโs the most infuriating part.
He doesnโt shove. Doesnโt glare. Doesnโt even raise his voice. He just appears beside you with the kind of seamless, quiet ease that only someone deeply used to being watched can master.
One second the man beside you is leaning in, his breath too warm against your cheekโ And the next, Jungkook is sliding in between you, a hand at the small of your back, the angle of his body just enough to cut.
โDidnโt realize I was late to this conversation,โ he says smoothly.
You catch the flicker of recognition on the menโs faces. One of them steps back half a pace, suddenly less charming. The other adjusts his collar and offers a polite smile that doesnโt reach his eyes.
โJeon Jungkook,โ the taller one says, offering a hand. โDidnโt know you were here.โ
Jungkook shakes it. Calm. Collected. โFigured Iโd say hello to the team who made the shoot happen.โ His eyes flick toward you, then back. โThough it looks like I shouldโve come earlier.โ
Itโs almost nothing. Just a hint. A slip beneath the surface. But you hear it. Feel it in the weight of his voice. The way his hand stays just a fraction too close to yours.
Possessive. And yet โ perfectly palatable for a crowd.
No one would question this. Not the touch. Not the timing. Not the sudden chill of disappointment settling in the faces of the men who had clearly imagined something else for the end of the night.
They make excuses. One says something about needing to call his driver. The other claims someone from LโOfficiel just texted.
Within a minute, theyโre gone.
Jungkook watches them disappear into the crowd with that unreadable expression you remember from his early idol days. When he didnโt know how to speak with words yet โ just stares.
โYou didnโt have to do that,โ you say, voice quiet, cutting.
โI know.โ
โThen why?โ
He shrugs. Still watching the crowd. โDidnโt like how they were touching you.โ
You pause.
โThatโs not your concern anymore.โ
He turns to face you then. Full. Real. And the look in his eyes is darker than the mood lighting.
โIt never stopped being my concern.โ
That does something to your throat. Tightens it.
You want to roll your eyes. Push him away. Instead, you take a half-step back and fix your dress strap.
โYou can go now,โ you say, coolly.
But his jaw tightens. Thatโs when you know youโve hit something.
โIโm not going anywhere.โ
He says it so quietly. But it doesnโt feel soft. It feels like something pulled from the center of his chest.
You scan the room out of instinct. Too many eyes. Too much potential noise.
Jungkook notices. And he moves.
He doesnโt ask.
His hand brushes your wristโlight, guidingโand then heโs walking. Confident. Unbothered. Heading toward the side hallway just past the lounge bar, near the VIP exit where only staff and talent are allowed to pass.
You should stop him. You donโt.
You follow.
The hallway is quiet, dimmer than the rest of the event. A velvet rope keeps guests from entering, and a private elevator tucked at the end promises anonymity to anyone important enough to use it. Youโve seen it before. Watched stylists hustle idols through that door like ghosts, like secrets.
Jungkook stops just out of view.
The corner of the hall is shadowed, walls covered in gold-veined marble and muted hotel art. The muffled bass from the party barely reaches here. His back is to you.
He turns when you stop. And then he steps in.
Close.
Too close.
He doesnโt touch you. Doesnโt raise his voice.
But he towers.
The heat from his body sears into yours. His jaw clenches once before relaxing, like heโs trying to hold back a thousand versions of the same mistake.
โYou know what they wanted from you,โ he says, voice low. โAnd you were going to let them?โ
โI wasnโt going to let them do anything.โ
โYou let them touch you.โ
โYou fucked half the industry,โ you snap, too fast. Too exposed. โDonโt start pretending Iโm the one who crossed lines.โ
That lands. Sharp. But he doesnโt retreat.
โI havenโt loved anyone except for you.โ
You blink.
Your breath stumbles.
Your throat goes dry.
You want to argue. You want to scream liar.But heโs looking at you like itโs gospel. Like the weight of that confession has been killing him slowly every night since.
And god, heโs close.
You feel your body respond before your brain can stop it. The heat between your legs. The flush rising beneath your skin. The sharp, brutal ache that coils low in your stomach just from the way heโs standing there โ like heโd throw himself between you and the world all over again.
You glance down โ mistake. The open collar of his shirt frames his chest like it was designed for your hands. The chain you once clasped glints against his skin, half-damp from heat. You remember how he tastes. Wonder if he still does.
Your thighs press together. Reflex.
His eyes drop. He notices.
And you hate him for it.
โYou have no right to be jealous,โ you say, voice barely a whisper.
โI know.โ
โYou left me.โ
โI know.โ
Your heart is pounding. Your mouth is dry.
And when he leans in just a little closer โ breath brushing your ear, his voice raw and unfiltered โ it takes every ounce of strength not to melt against the wall.
โYou can hate me all you want,โ he says. โBut I still know how to make you come apart.โ
Jungkookโs stare is heavy. Focused. Unflinching.
He says nothing for a long, charged second, and you hate how your body reacts to that silence โ like it remembers something your brain is still trying to forget.
โYou donโt get to act like this,โ you say, and it comes out sharp, acidic. โYou donโt get to touch me now and pretend it means anything.โ
His jaw tenses, but his voice stays level. Quiet. Deadly calm.
โIโm not pretending.โ
You scoff, rolling your eyes, shifting your weight โ and thatโs when he does it.
His hand slides down. Not rushed. Not hesitant.
And thenโ
He squeezes your ass.
Firm. Full. Like it still belongs to him.
Your breath halts. You donโt flinch. But your skin lights up like a flare, thighs clenching, stomach twisting.
You donโt show it.
โYouโre disgusting,โ you mutter through your teeth.
But he leans in, his mouth brushing the shell of your ear.
โYou didnโt stop me.โ
You shove at his chest, but thereโs no real strength in it. Not when your knees feel like static and your pulse is hammering between your legs. Not when your own body is already betraying you, flooding with heat from the base of your spine to the ache youโve been pretending doesnโt exist.
โYouโre the one who fucked other people the second you got famous,โ you snap. โDonโt come near me like we have unfinished business.โ
โYou think I donโt remember how you taste?โ he breathes, low and lethal. โHow your thighs shake when Iโโ
โShut up.โ You cut him off, voice breaking around the edge. โYouโre pathetic.โ
But his hand is still on you. Still burning through the fabric of your dress.
And now he's walking.
You're not sure when his hand left yours. You're not sure when your legs decided to follow. But you're moving. Toward the private elevator at the end of the hallway. It dings as it opens โ discreet, slow, waiting for no one else.
โDonโt,โ you say, half-hearted, hovering just outside the doors.
He steps inside. Looks over his shoulder. Waits.
โUnless you're scared,โ he murmurs.
You could slap him. You should.
Instead, you walk in like your heels arenโt shaking.
The doors close.
Silence. Thick. Electric.
Heโs behind you now. You feel it โ his presence coiled tight, simmering. You keep your chin high. Your eyes fixed on the seam of the elevator door.
But your brain is spinning.
You donโt know where heโs taking you. You donโt care.
You tell yourself itโs just physical. Youโre tired. Your bones are tired. You've been carrying ambition like armor for too long and you want โ god, you want โ to feel something. Something that doesnโt require you to smile, or pose, or win.
You want to stop being the editor. The image. The perfection.
Just for one night.
And if it has to be Jungkook โ the only man who ever saw you wrecked โ so be it.
Because if heโs going to ruin you again, heโs not doing it alone.
The car ride is silent.
Not awkward. Not uncertain. Justโฆ heavy.
A stretch of velvet air between you, thick with all the things neither of you are brave or stupid enough to say.
Jungkookโs limo is absurd. Sleek black leather, blue LED trim humming at your feet. A built-in bar you ignore. Curtains drawn. City lights blur past the tinted glass as if the world outside has nothing to do with whatโs about to happen inside.
You sit rigid, legs crossed. The dress has ridden up just slightly โ the soft part of your thigh kissing cool air โ and he notices.
Of course he notices.
His hand moves. Quietly. Confident. Like heโs done this before โ with you.
Fingertips rest on your knee at first. Just that. Stillness.
But then they begin to slide.
Up.
Slow. Torturous. Not grabbing โ stroking. His thumb draws lazy circles against your skin, tracing the edge where silk meets flesh.
You donโt look at him. You play with your hair instead, twisting it around your fingers like a lifeline.
But your thighs tighten. Clamp together as he nears dangerous ground.
He smirks beside you.
โI forgot how stubborn you are.โ
You glare. โYou forgot a lot of things.โ
His fingers donโt retreat. He slides them just a breath higher, pulling the hem of your dress with them.
โYou can say stop,โ he murmurs, voice dropping low. โYou know Iโll listen.โ
You hate that itโs true.
You hate that you donโt want to say it.
Your jaw clenches. Your thighs stay locked, heat building between them like friction might burn the memory away before it begins.
He doesnโt push further. Just stays there. Waiting. Letting you sit with the fact that your body is already betraying you โ pulse between your legs fluttering like it remembers the path heโs about to take.
You stare out the window, trying to breathe through the ache.
This is happening. You know it. You knew it the moment you followed him out of that party.
Tonight, youโre not Vogue Koreaโs untouchable ice queen. Youโre just a woman. Lonely. Starving. So fucking tired of pretending she doesnโt want to be ruined.
The car stops in front of La Premiere, one of Seoulโs most exclusive residential towers โ all glass, obsidian stone, gold accents that shimmer even at midnight. Youโre not surprised. This is the kind of place you only enter if your name is a brand.
The lobby is silent, marble floors echoing beneath your heels. The elevator requires a thumbprint. The doorman greets him by name.
You stay silent.
But your heart is screaming.
The apartment is on the 38th floor. The penthouse.
Of course it is.
High ceilings. Soft lighting. Concrete walls and floor-to-ceiling windows that open into an unobstructed view of Seoulโs skyline. You barely have time to look.
Because the moment the door clicks shut behind youโ
Heโs on you.
Your back hits the wall. Hard. His mouth finds yours like heโs starving. Like heโs been dreaming of this moment and canโt wait another second.
Itโs not a kiss. Itโs a collision. Wet, messy, teeth and tongue and heat. His hands are on your hips, your ribs, your ass โ greedy, possessive, hungry.
You moan into his mouth, furious at yourself.
He grins.
โStill pretending you donโt want this?โ
You shove at his chest, breathless.
โStill pretending you donโt want to be fucked?โ
His laugh is dark. โYou want to feel me inside you, donโt you?โ
You donโt answer.
He takes it as a yes.
He lifts you like you weigh nothing, carrying you down the hallway. You catch glimpses of modern art, black marble floors, absurdly expensive furniture you could write articles about.
But thenโ
His bedroom.
Of course itโs massive. King-sized bed draped in jet-black sheets, one wall entirely glass, Seoul glittering behind it like a crown.
He lays you down. Stares at you for a second.
Then bends. Presses a kiss to your shin. Your knee. Your inner thigh.
You arch.
โYouโre not going to tease me,โ you spit, breath shaky.
โOh no?โ His voice is warm silk wrapped around something feral. โI think youโve been begging to be teased.โ
And then heโs peeling your dress up, up, over your hips, dragging it slowly, deliberately, like heโs unwrapping a sin heโs already claimed.
His hands never stop moving.
He spreads your legs with ease, dress bunched high at your waist now, the cold kiss of air meeting warm skin. You feel obscenely exposed and utterly alive โ laid out against his sheets in nothing but a paper-thin pair of black lace underwear that does nothing to hide the heat soaking through.
And when his eyes land there, dark and molten, his breath catches.
โFuck,โ he mutters, more to himself than to you. โYouโve always been unreal.โ
You watch his throat move, swallowing thickly. His fingers trail from your calf to the inside of your thigh, slow and reverent.
โIโm gonna fuck you so good,โ he murmurs, eyes locked on your heat like heโs watching a meal heโs about to ruin. โYouโll forget how to hate me.โ
You donโt have time to snarl back before his mouth is on you again โ dragging up your body, lips trailing over your stomach, your ribs, your bra. He finds your breast with one hand, slipping beneath the delicate cup, warm palm cupping it, squeezing just enough to make you gasp. Then his tongue is there, licking over your nipple through the lace, wetting it until the fabric turns transparent and your back lifts off the bed.
You whimper. Loud.
And you hate that it sounds like relief.
His other hand finds your ass, gripping it with the kind of pressure that says mine, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed as he grinds down against you, clothed cock heavy and hot against your inner thigh.
He nips at your breast, tongue flicking, eyes on your face.
โStill pretending you donโt remember what this feels like?โ
You pant, fingers buried in his hair. โJust fuck me already.โ
But heโs not done teasing. He slides lower again, mouth kissing a path down your torso, tongue tasting your skin like itโs his.
When he reaches your panties, he pauses. Licks his lips.
โThese need to come off.โ
You lift your hips. He slides them down your legs, slow and smooth, like heโs savoring every inch of skin revealed.
And then he groans.
โFuck, babyโฆโ His thumb brushes over your slit. โYouโre soaked.โ
You glare. โYouโre not special.โ
He chuckles. โWeโll see.โ
Then he kisses you again, deep and dirty, hand slipping between your thighs, two fingers sliding through your folds with ease, coating themselves in everything your pride is trying to hide.
He presses in โ just one finger, shallow and slow โ and you gasp into his mouth.
โYouโre so fucking tight,โ he breathes against your lips. โYou really havenโt let anyone else stretch you like this?โ
You donโt answer.
But your moan says enough.
He adds another finger. Curling them. Moving them just right.
โThis is me preparing you,โ he murmurs, voice all silk and sin. โIโm gonna make it good. Gonna make you cum on my fingers before I even fuck you.โ
Your eyes flutter shut. โGod, Jungkookโโ
โI love when you beg,โ he growls, โbut not yet.โ
You reach for him then, desperate, fingers tugging at his open shirt โ sheer and slippery beneath your grip. You want to see him. Need to.
He feels it.
โPatience,โ he smirks, but he lets you undress him anyway.
Jacket drops first. Then that ridiculous silk shirt that slides off his arms like water. You make a sound low in your throat when you see him again, bare and sculpted and dangerous. Then he pushes his pants down, black slacks pooling on the floor, and all thatโs left is his boxers โ stretched tight over his cock, which is very obviously hard.
And huge.
Your mouth parts.
He sees it. Smirks again.
โDonโt act surprised,โ he murmurs, leaning in. โYouโve had it before.โ
His body covers yours, the warmth of his skin burning against you, his cock pressing hot and heavy between your thighs. He grinds once, slow, and you gasp โ the length of him perfectly aligned against your soaked slit, dragging between your folds like heโs memorizing the shape of your desperation.
He doesn't push in yet.
Just teases. Rubs the head against your clit. Circles it. Slips down, catches your entrance, then pulls back again.
You bite your lip so hard it stings.
โJungkook,โ you pant, voice breaking.
He kisses your jaw, your neck, his voice low and smug and maddening.
โYouโre gonna say please.โ
You donโt say please.
Not with your mouth.
But when you look down and see him reach for the nightstand drawer, tear open the foil packet with steady fingers, and roll the condom down his thick, veined lengthโ Your mouth parts on instinct.
God.
You forgot what he looked like like this. Not just big โ devastating. Long, hard, flushed dark at the tip, heavy in his own hand. Your core clenches around nothing, heat flooding your stomach.
You donโt mean to moan. But you do.
His smirk falters for a split second.
โYouโre still so easy to ruin,โ he murmurs, fisting his cock, stroking once, lining himself up between your thighs. โI barely touched you.โ
โYouโve been talking too much,โ you whisper, chest heaving. โShut up andโโ
But the words die the second he starts to push in.
You gasp โ your whole body tensing โ and your hands fly to his shoulders, nails digging in hard.
He groans above you. โShitโyouโre tight.โ
You feel the stretch like itโs the first time. A slow, thick pressure as he sinks in inch by inch. Every muscle in your body coils, thighs trembling, breath catching.
His mouth finds yours again โ wet, open, filthy โ kissing you through it, licking into your whimper like heโs feeding off your pleasure.
โJust breathe,โ he whispers, one hand cradling the back of your head, the other gripping your waist. โIโve got you.โ
You do.
You let him in.
And god, you hate how good it feels โ to have him deep inside, to feel the way your body opens around him like it remembers exactly where he belongs.
When he bottoms out, hips flush to yours, he groans into your throat.
Youโre both panting. Stunned.
Then you move.
Your legs wrap around his waist. Tight. Holding him there.
His back arches into it, and he nearly chokes on his breath.
โF-fuck,โ he stutters, voice cracking. โYouโre gonna make me cum just like that.โ
You grin, delirious. โControl yourself.โ
โImpossible,โ he groans, but he stays still, grinding his hips in slow, rolling circles, letting you feel all of him, the friction igniting fire where your nerves used to be.
Your hands slide down his back โ hot, damp with sweat โ and you whisper between shaky breaths:
โYou feel so good, Jungkookโฆ so fucking goodโโ
That does it.
He starts to move.
Slow at first. Deep. Letting you feel every inch drag through you, the way your walls flutter around him. He groans again โ long and low โ kisses you like heโs starving.
Then he leans back just enough to slip a hand between your bodies, tugging at your bra strap.
โOff,โ he pants. โI want to feel all of you.โ
You arch for him, and he peels the lace away, throws it somewhere behind him without a second glance. His mouth latches onto your breast immediately, tongue circling your nipple while he thrusts deeper now, rhythm gaining speed.
Your moan rips from your throat โ helpless.
The room is filled with slick, obscene sounds. Wet kisses. The slap of skin against skin. His name. Your name. Every broken breath in between.
He fucks you like he never stopped wanting you. Like every other girl was just a placeholder. Like this is what heโs been chasing for years.
You meet him thrust for thrust, body to body, every part of you singing from the friction and the fullness.
โJungkookโโ you gasp, legs shaking around him.
He presses his forehead to yours, eyes shut tight.
โIโm closeโfuckโIโm gonnaโโ
Your nails dig into his back. Your mouth finds his. Hot. Messy. Breathless.
And you both fall.
You cum around him with a strangled cry, legs locking, mouth open, his name your only word. He follows seconds later โ hips jerking, body shaking, groaning into your mouth as he spills into the condom, both of you swallowed in heat and noise and everything you said youโd never feel again.
The room goes still.
Except your breathing.
And the heartbeat pounding between your ribs like a warning.
Your body is still shaking when he collapses beside you, skin damp and breath ragged, his palm pressed flat against your stomach like he needs to anchor himself to something thatโs real.
Neither of you speak. Your lungs are too full of what just happened โ of the heat still lingering between your thighs, of his scent on your skin, of the kiss still wet on your mouth.
And thenโ
He moves again.
You feel it before you see it โ the subtle shift of his body behind yours, the press of his chest against your back, the way his hand slides down your stomach, lower, lower, fingers brushing over your still-sensitive slit with the softest, filthiest reverence.
Your legs twitch.
โJungkookโฆโ your voice is nothing more than a broken breath.
But heโs already hard again.
His cock slides against your ass, hot and ready, nestling in the curve of your body like it belongs there. Like it never stopped belonging there.
โI canโt stop,โ he whispers, voice husky and wrecked. โNot yet. I need more.โ
You donโt argue.
Because the truth is, so do you.
You feel the crinkle of another condom. The soft hiss of him rolling it on. And thenโ
He pushes in from behind.
This angle โ lying on your side, body curled into his, his arm wrapped tight around your waist โ itโs too much. Too deep. Too intimate.
You cry out softly as he fills you again, slower this time, his hips moving in lazy, grinding rolls that feel like velvet dragging through your core.
He groans low into your neck.
โStill so fucking tight. So warm,โ he pants. โYouโre made for me.โ
Your hands scramble behind you, reaching for anything to hold. You find his hair, his neck, your fingers threading through damp strands and pulling him closer. His mouth finds yours again โ messy, hot, upside down, your teeth clashing a little before they part.
The kiss is deeper than it should be. Slower. Desperate in a different way.
Like neither of you are trying to cum anymore.
Like youโre just trying to stay here.
He fucks you like heโs drunk on you โ like your body is a drug heโs been forced to quit and now canโt get enough of. His hand slides over your breasts, then down again, gripping your thigh to tilt your hips back, opening you wider.
You whimper into the pillow, moaning his name over and over, helpless.
โFeel so good, baby,โ he murmurs, forehead pressed to your shoulder. โI canโtโfuckโI canโt stop.โ
You donโt want him to.
Youโre shaking. Sweat-slick. Eyes wet.
You twist your neck just enough to kiss him again โ messy, slow, tongues tangling mid-thrust, like your mouths canโt stay apart even now.
His pace stutters.
You feel him start to lose it, his rhythm breaking as you clench around him, your walls pulling him deeper with every snap of his hips.
And when you cum again โ this time quieter, slower, your body trembling as you squeeze your eyes shut โ he goes with you.
He groans your name into your skin as he spills into you again, the rhythm fading into soft, tired rolls of his hips, your bodies still locked together under the sheets.
For a long while, neither of you move.
You just lay there. Breathing. Tangled. Spent.
He kisses your shoulder once. Light. Almost careful.
And then sleep pulls you both under โ not out of comfort, but out of collapse. Because neither of you came here looking for peace.
You just needed an escape.
And you found it in each otherโs ruin.
Your eyes snap open before your alarm ever has the chance.
The room is quiet. Dim gray light filters through blackout curtains. The sheets smell like sex and sweat and a mistake you swore you'd never make again.
You blink. Once. Twice.
And then it all rushes back.
The kisses. The way he moaned your name. His hands, his mouth, the sound of skin slapping skin. The taste of him on your lips. The way he said youโre mine without ever needing the words.
โFuck,โ you breathe, pressing your hand over your eyes.
You sit up slowly.
Your body aches in all the right ways and all the wrong ones โ thighs sore, lips bruised, a pulsing between your legs that still flutters when you shift.
Next to you, Jungkook sleeps facedown. Bare, sprawled, shamelessly beautiful. The sheets only just cover his waist, one arm bent beneath the pillow, the muscles in his back stretching in long, carved lines.
You stare. Just for a second.
He looks so peaceful.
So unaware.
So dangerous.
You bite your lip. Hard.
Your fingers twitch with the urge to trace the curve of his spine, but you stop yourself. Because you donโt have time for softness. You have work.
You always have work.
Dragging yourself out of the bed, you start collecting your clothes โ your dress crumpled in the corner, your heels under the chaise, your bra on the floor beside the door like a monument to your downfall.
When you catch your reflection in the bathroom mirror, you wince.
Mascara smudged. Lips bitten raw. Hair wrecked.
You look like a woman who had a night.
And in less than an hour, you need to look like a woman in charge of the most powerful editorial campaign of the year.
You move fast.
Cold water. Concealer. Lip balm. Breath mints. You finger-comb your hair and twist it into something sleek. But the problem isnโt the face โ itโs the clothes.
Your dress is a dead giveaway. Wrinkled, short, undeniably last night.
You move to Jungkookโs closet.
Rows of Saint Laurent, Givenchy, Alexander McQueen. Racks of custom suits and silky button-downs. Not a single item designed for discretion.
But then โ a structured black blazer. Boxy, masculine, clean-cut enough to pass.
You slide it on. It swallows your frame. The hem falls past your thighs, hiding your dress completely. You roll the sleeves once. Twice. Pair it with quiet confidence and a pair of sunglasses from the entryway table.
You almost look like a Vogue editor.
Almost.
You donโt let yourself look at him again.
You just close the door behind you, call a taxi, and vanish into morning traffic with nothing but your pride duct-taped together inside that blazer.
The office is already buzzing by the time you walk in.
People look up. Smiling. Bright. Warm.
โY/N! Congrats again on the October issueโโ โThat cover is insane, seriously, you killed itโโ โYou must be exhausted after last nightโs party!โ
You smile. Say thank you. Pretend your skin doesnโt still smell like sex and Jungkookโs cologne.
One of the interns offers you coffee. You accept, gratefully.
Youโre almost safe.
Until Kara appears.
โWow,โ she says, voice honeyed and loud. โYou lookโฆ rough.โ
The conversation halts like a car crash.
A beat of awkward silence. Someone clears their throat.
You look up slowly.
Kara smiles. All teeth.
โLate night?โ she adds, mock-innocent. โOr should I sayโฆ early morning?โ
You donโt answer. Just raise your coffee and keep walking.
But she follows.
Right into the main office hallway, right up to the bossโs glass-walled door โ just as it opens.
Your editor-in-chief steps out. Sharp-heeled. Impeccably dressed. Eyes cutting.
Kara laughs softly and says, โShe probably didnโt even go home. Just look โ same dress as last nightโs party. Slept over somewhere fancy, though. Thatโs not hers.โ
You freeze.
Your boss turns to you. Stares. The expression is unreadable โ but not soft.
โY/N,โ she says. โMy office. Now.โ
Your stomach drops.
You walk. Slowly. Kara watches you go, biting the edge of her thumb with a smile like she already knows sheโs won.
Your phone buzzes in your palm.
Unknown Number: That blazer suits you. But youโll have to pay me back eventually. Preferably not in cash.
Your pulse stutters.
You donโt have to guess who it is.
You just slide the phone into your pocket โ and knock on your bossโs door.
part 2
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Genre: Enemies to lovers (?), boss x employee relationship, eventual smut, angst
Warnings: Yandere trends, possessiveness, abuse of authority, explicit language, controlling Taehyung, sweet reader, DUBCON, violence, abusive relationship
Pair: Idol! Kim Taehyung x Staff! Reader
Summary: Each of the BTS members has their own personal assistant, that person responsible for keeping their costumes clean, making sure they stick to all the schedules of the day, make payments to gossip sites whenever something that shouldn't be publicized comes out in magazines... Anyway, it does everything from buying their food to cleaning their apartments.
And you, as Kim Taehyung's assistant, on top of that, have to deal with his complicated personality and his constant task of complicating your work. You think your boss hates you, but on a trip to Paris things can change.
Author's Note: Lately I've only been thinking about writing this after seeing a specific tiktok, but I have no plans to turn this into something big maybe a mini series. I should also be doing a thousand college things lol so please cherish that.
Taehyung was like a thorn in her side, always willing to ruin her plans with extra (and unnecessary) loads of work.
Like the time he insisted you be there during BTS In The Soop recordings, even though he wouldn't need your services, just for the pleasure of not giving her a few days away from him and his difficult personality. Or when he put his foot down and made you organize and reorganize your huge wardrobe all night making you miss a date with your college roommates you've been waiting for weeks.
You've been on the team for a good few months, a little less than a year, and from the beginning he's always acted like this, childish and petty, always making sure to make you feel inferior. Even with you striving to be better.
You believe he hated you from the first time he saw you, making light of you while the members themselves tried to include you in the team.
โ Okay, yes please, a reservation for five daysโฆ
Taehyung was scheduled to attend Celine's spring/summer men's collection show on the last day of Paris Fashion Week, he would depart three days before and return three days after the event.
However, the moment the words left his lips his head snapped, soon he was no longer scrolling his Instagram feed and had his prying eyes on you. His English was poor but he still managed to make out a few words, enough to feel something bad settle in his stomach, because Taehyung can't stand his presence, but he hates the lack of it even more.
โ How a reservation? Where are you staying?
He asked in a seemingly calm voice, not caring if you were on a call with someone else, whether it was important or not, when he wanted your attention it was good that you dedicated yourself to him, that was one of the things you had to learn over time.
The other thing was that he hates that you stay in a different hotel while traveling internationally, which happened every now and then due to the demand of the place.
When he raised an eyebrow expecting an answer you sighed knowing it would be difficult to make him understand. Swallowed dry, you finally replied: "I'm not going to Paris, I have an important test on Monday, I can't just skip it."
Being in the last year of English college, you couldn't afford to travel to Europe at the end of the semester. After all, you can decide when to take on the overtime your job requires, it was in the contract you signed 10 months ago.
โ I don't care, you're coming too.
You shifted in the leather seat of the car, the driver glancing briefly between the two of you in the mirror but soon turning his attention back to the street.
โ Sorry, can you give me a minute? โ you talk to the receptionist on the other end of the line before turning to him wearily โ Sir, I already informed my boss, everything is settled, Nicole will accompany you.
You immediately regret saying that when you see Taehyung's brows furrow, jaw tightening and tongue poking the inside of his mouth. His shoulders drop. Suddenly the atmosphere inside the car becomes heavy, the driver feels sorry for you if the constant glances in the rearview mirror are any hint.
One instant the device was with you and the next Taehyung had violently snatched the iPhone from your hands and ended the call before discarding it on the seat between you. You looked from your hands to him, working up the courage to speak.
โ Sirโฆ โ you whimper but don't dare to take the device back very aware of the idol's tantrums beside you.
To be honest, you believed the manager had told Taehyung about the change in plans, but you should have known better.
โ I'm your boss and I'm saying you're coming with me!
Looking into his eyes her cold irises left no room for argument, the next thing you know, you're packing your bags after sending an email to your teacher explaining the situation, omitting some details, after all you had a confidentiality agreement behind you, hoping your teacher would understand.
Packing your best pieces of clothing into a small suitcase you can't help but feel more than frustrated. This was never what you wanted.
First and foremost, this job was supposed to serve as a support for your studies, a means to support yourself in Seoul while studying for your degree. but now you found yourself leaving your academic obligations behind or else you should kiss it all goodbye.
When you received an email confirming that you had got the job at the famous Big Hit, you were about to call home apologizing for having failed and asking your parents to take you back. Throughout your graduation you managed to stay in the capital with a reasonable lifestyle, however, in the last year the cafeteria you worked for ended up closing and you found yourself to drift.
Without a means to support yourself you were desperate as the bills piled up. The job as an assistant couldn't have come at a better time. But now you were stuck with a petty celebrity and you couldn't afford to send in a letter of resignation, not when you were so close to completing your studies. You refuse.
At first, you were hired on the recommendation of your best friend's sister, who had to leave after giving birth, you can only hope that by the time she needs to come back you've already managed to graduate.
You are brought back to reality by your cell phone's personalized ringtone. Taking a deep breath, you answer the call.
โ I want you here in five minutes!
synopsis. His steel made heart wasnโt supposed to beat for you.
pairings: yandere!cyborg jungkook x fem!reader x ex!taehyung.
warnings: YANDERE, DARK, OBSESSION, gore (?), mature themes, triggering themes, jealousy, posessiveness, robots, science stuff, tae is also kinda yandere HAHAHHAA! tba.
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pairing: ceo!jungkook x reader genre: political & yandere au
chapter summary: after jungkookโs first encounter with you, he was determined to meet you again even if itโs against your own will.ย
chapter warnings: alcohol consumption, undetailed smut, cheating, mention of abuse of political power, political rivalry, mention of corruption and drug operations, jk is showing his yandere tendencies, mention of killing someone word count: 9k
disclaimer: This is pure fiction and I do not condone the acts of Jeon Jungkook in the story. All events and occurrences in this story are all fictional and all are part of my imagination. And also, this fiction will be political.
Keep reading
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A Burning Hill, Chapter 2
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CHAPTER 1
characters: levi ackerman x fem!reader
warnings: spoilers for season 1-2 of attack on titan, a looot of angst, swearing, slow burn, soft levi, fighting, major character deaths
a/n: okay so i was supposed to have this up during the weekend but my mental health has been so bad that i couldn't get it done on time. nevertheless i hope you guys enjoy this chapter and thank your for the feedback on chapter 1, i appreciate you guys so much and hope you enjoy this part just as muchโก
845 AD
it would only keep getting worse. even when the government felt that citizens of paradis were safe from the titans with the protection of the walls, everything fell apart in a single fateful evening.
an abnormal, beyond the south gate of shiganshina district. it was different this time. the titan looming over the wall had a unique and threatening appearance. it was colossal, its height helping it reach over the wall and gaze upon the terrified eyes of wall maria residents.
and then chaos erupted.
๏ธตโฟ๏ธตโฟเญจโกเญงโฟ๏ธตโฟ๏ธต
"why am i always stuck on training duties?"
"as you know, instructor martens passed away on our latest expendition. you will train the newcomers just for this week and then you'll return to your duties of being co-captain to the levi-y/l/n squad" goddamn it erwin. goddamn it. it wasn't that she hated the idea of training the newbies, she had done it before. it was that she would be missing the expendition taking place in shiganshina, that she helped plan
"what about this week's expendition? i am the one who planned it"
"levi, hange and i have you covered. he agreed to lead your team by himself, much to his dismay. however i can't imagine anyone better than to train our new soldiers, i promise its an one time thing" erwin suggested and she huffed, falling back in her seat. if it was just for one week then so be it. to be put quite simply, she couldn't say no to erwin and being informed that her absence would be covered was an okay reason for her to worry less about. besides the scouts have been lacking manpower lately and she would feel at ease if she knew that she could contribute on shaping erwin's vision. just what was his vision again?
"you're not too bad at training" an all too familiar voice reverberated through erwin's office. y/n didn't even have to turn her head back to confirm levi's precense as a soft laugh escaped her lips.
"yeah obviously. the training grounds are on the south, that means i'll probably have to leave in a bit so i can arrive early. where is hange? at least we can all have dinner together before i go, right?"
"let's head to the dining area, hange is probably waiting for us with moblit and miche" erwin nodded as he got up and walked past levi and y/n, leaving them behind his trail.
"you'll come back to me in one piece"
"is that an order?"
"yes"
"we're equals now, i don't take orders from you brat" he teased "i had no other plans anyways, who are you going to make tea to when im gone?"
"probably hange and erwin"
"that tea is only for me, i'm gonna haunt your ass" and if it wasn't more obvious that these two had a more profound bond then erwin didn't know. sometimes he swore he could cut the tension with the knife and for the first time he lost a bet to hange. at first he didn't believe that levi and y/n would be getting this close even when the two would be caught staring at each other from across the room.
it was a mutual understanding to everyone that levi and y/n were more than just co-captains.
๏ธตโฟ๏ธตโฟเญจโกเญงโฟ๏ธตโฟ๏ธต
"eren, you really want to be a scout member, don't you?" y/n spoke softly, crouching down next to the green eyed brunette. she could tell the boy was disappointed that he couldn't use his odm gear correctly, as every time he tried to stabilize himself he'd just turn, feet looking up in the air and head hitting the ground with a thud every time.
"i want to destroy every single titan, captain. i want to kill them all" yeah you're not the only one, she thought. just then it hit her that many of those kids in front of her were present to that fateful day. most of them had lost their family and friends during the incident and she could tell from the determination in their eyes that they would go far.
"i trust you eren" she got up and walked over a beautiful girl with jet black hair that reminded her of levi's and a red scarf, leaving eren still dangling upside down "dear, can you lend your odm mechanism to eren? i suppose there's something wrong with his" and she was right. as soon as the boy put on his friend's equipment and tried swinging, he was floating like any normal person would. just as she thought.
y/n walked back to the small stage, smiling softly as he heard the excitement reeking from the young group of friends. at the end of the day they were just kids being kids. training was hard but they've had enough of their childhood pried away from them. little moments like these never hurt. she wished that one day kids wouldn't have to be forced away from their families and trained only to die by the jaws of titans. maybe one day they would be free from this curse. and maybe then, she could open that tea shop she always wanted. maybe levi would stick around and help her too.
๏ธตโฟ๏ธตโฟเญจโกเญงโฟ๏ธตโฟ๏ธต
"maybe you should think twice about kicking the shit out of my students" her tone on a fine line between bored to death and teasing. that trial was awfully draining and boring. since when did everyone think they could share their opinion on something they have zero knowledge on? still noone knew how to handle a titan shifter but the military police thinking they had a say in this was just a poorly written joke "besides i haven't given my testament yet"
"go ahead"
"we can use the kid to our benefit. killing him would only cause more harm and i believe it would be a serious mistake to do so. honestly he could just turn into a titan right now and kill us all for all i care. i don't see how this would benefit either parties. anyways, i said what i had to say. there are people in here with absolutely zero knowledge over titans, why are we letting them do the talking? correct me if im wrong" her cold gaze met levi's across the room as she support her weight with her elbows on the stool "go on, im curious to see how this ends"
captain y/l/n never failed to stun everyone wherever she stepped foot in. both from her beauty and boldness. in this situation, the latter was enough to turn heads her way. levi absolutely hated that. first and foremost because she deserved much better than the lewd stares of strangers upon her ethereal beauty and last but not least due to her well...controversial choice of words and audacity. even if he admired her bravery, he knew sooner or later she would get in trouble.
after the judge concluded the trial and the decision that eren would be now apart of their team, the entire squad were lead into a conference room to discuss important matters, like controlling eren's titan abilities and a formation plan for their next move to regain the shiganshina district.
"please just tell me noone else here is a titan, save me from the embarrassment"
"uh... i hope i am the only one captain y/l/n" eren said as hange offered him a cloth to clean his face from the open wounds levi's boots had caused.
"well eren jeager can we trust you to save humanity?"
๏ธตโฟ๏ธตโฟเญจโกเญงโฟ๏ธตโฟ๏ธต
"do you think this is going to end well?" levi turned around to meet her eyes but she was staring far off into the night sky "i know eren has shown us that we can trust him, but it's different. we've never seen anything like this before. i feel like something bad is going to happen soon and i don't know, i'm scared" huffing she took another sip of her tea that had now gone cold "this is only the beggining. the titans that infiltrated wall maria are still out there and we don't know if we'll be able to take them. maybe there's no coming out of this one"
"stop saying stupid shit like this" he snapped, making her side eye him "i mean, i feel like this too, don't be so pessimistic about it"
"i cant believe this sentence just came out of you? am i talking to the same levi?"
"shut up. i trust you enough not to die, so don't. tomorrow after we catch the female titan you'll come back to me. i don't even want the smallest of bruise on you" levi was so vulnerable during moments like these and she treasured the fact that she was the only person in this world to see him at this state.
"if you want me alive that much then i have no choice, do i?"
"i want you"
huh?
"i want you alive" there was a slight tint of red contrasting the paleness of his skin and yet she missed it due to the darkness that surrounded them.
oh.
"then I'll come back to you and you'll come back to me"
๏ธตโฟ๏ธตโฟเญจโกเญงโฟ๏ธตโฟ๏ธต
the forest had never looked as scary and gloomy as it did when the threat of the female titan had subsided and all that was left was to wander around looking for any surviving members of the scouts participating in the mission.
petra, oluo, ganther. everyone had died during the mission and yet she was still there, leaving the survivor's guilt and shame to wash over her. levi was right. no matter how much trust you can put into another person other than yourself, they can be gone in any minute.
"shit" she hissed slowly sitting down on the tree next to petra, who was like a found younger sister to her. her face was stoic, only a few beads of sweat atop of her hairline.
and then she let out the loudest and unsettling scream of frustration she could.
levi was the first to find her, sobbing next to petra's lifeless body. he had never seen her at this state before. even when she tried jumping off the roof she had been so calm and collected, yet now he was seeing a whole another side of her that he wished he never would again. he'd actually rather have his legs eaten by a titan, that would hurt way less. he approached her slowly, making sure he was giving her enough space to back away if she felt uncomfortable.
and then his lips met her hairline as her hands desperately grasped the clothing on his back, trying to keep herself grounded. his hands were instantly being wrapped around her waist, gripping her tightly so she could not slip and kept his lips on her scalp. no words were needed to be spoken and as he felt her loosen up he laid one final kiss on her forehead and cupped her cheeks softly making her look into his eyes.
"i failed"
"it's not your fault, calm down, i've got you, noone can hurt you"
"they're all dead" he nodded, still caressing her soft skin "it should have been me" something about her talking like that ticked him off, it scared him how she would never think about how valuable her life was then in just a second, his whole demeanor against her changed and he pushed her away, not hard enough to hurt her, yet hard enough to make her lose her footing.
"i told you to cut the shit" his tone had also changed to his ice cold , the one he would use when speaking to everyone that wasnt her "what the fuck was that for? you think that you dying would be any better? i would rather everyone in this fucking world die right now if it meant that you'd still be here and i don't care what you have to say" levi was selfish. he was so selfish when it came to her "stop acting like a pathetic bitch"
"our whole squad just fucking died, and you keep talking about me being alive and im the pathetic one here? just shut up" they were both angry and neither could recall any other time in which they have spoken such harsh words to each other "you should've let me jump off that fucking roo-" he was pushing her again, this time against the tree with his hands around her neck "what the fuck are you doing?"
"shut the fuck up" using her whatever strength she had left she kicked him away taking, a moment to catch her breath and before she knew she was pinned back against the tree "im not a monster, i cared about them just as much as you did" he spat "i dont care about them as much as i care about you and i fucking hate it so if you plan on putting others above your own life then dont bother fucking talking to me again"
"um- excuse me, captain levi? captain y/l/n?" what now? "we-they told us to come pick up the bodies" the terrified soldier saluted at the captains that were literally about to rip each other to shreds just seconds ago. levi took a step back and turned around to head back to where the rest of the survivors had gathered.
"go ahead" her glare shot knives into his back "you coming, y/l/n?" he asked stopping to look back at her. just what had gotten into him? why was he so harsh all of a sudden? she nodded and picked up her pace to reach him.
and as they walked between the high trees, neither realized how or when their fingers ended up linked to each other's once again..
part 3 coming soon...
synopsis. He had conquered everything, anything but your heart.
pairings: yandere!king!jungkook x fem!servant reader
header credits. @eerieedits
warnings: yandere, obsession, dark triggering themes, slavery, blood, gore, possessiveness, extreme themes, wars, smut (?), mature themes.
index.
TEASER.
one
two
three
four
five
six
seven
eight
nine
ten
eleven
twelve
thirteen
fourteen
fifteen
sixteen
seventeen
eighteen
nineteen
twenty
tba
ยฉaajjks 2022-23. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.