Martin Mistakes Jon For His Mother And Is Too Embarrassed To Step Foot Inside The Institution Again

So You Want To Watch Lifesteal

It’s happened. You’ve been seeing your mutual/followed blog reblog posts about this SMP called “Lifesteal” that apparently has some sort of gay clown? You’re intruiged. Well, couldn’t hurt to check it out, right? Maybe the gays got to you. Maybe you’ve seen the crystal demon. Maybe you’ve just seen some sick art. Whatever it was, you’ve seen something that prompted you to go “huh. maybe i should check this thing out!”

Now you’re wondering- so how do I watch this thing? Where do I start? What’s it about? Never fear! You’re in exactly the right place! Here’s the post that will walk you through how to get started watching this Lifesteal SMP thing (and maybe joining in Tumblr’s collective brainrot).

What Is Lifesteal? Let’s start with the basics. Lifesteal is a Minecraft SMP- okay. Maybe not that basic. I’m sure you know the drill. So what’s the “thing” with Lifesteal, then? What’s it all about?

Lifesteal’s premise is that when you die, you lose a heart off of your permanant health bar. This one!

Now here’s the twist that makes it fun: when you kill another player, you get their heart. So if you’re both on ten hearts, and you kill someone else, their healthbar will drop to nine and yours will increase to eleven!

This is why you see so much heart imagery in fanart, and why if you see screenshots/watch videos, their health bars are rarely at ten hearts. Pretty simple, right? 

Yep, mostly. Some other things you should know about the life system are that players can choose to “withdraw” their hearts, which means they remove hearts from their health by choice. They appear as nether stars in a player’s inventory. This feature is typically used for trading hearts (although usually a little more… violent) and giving hearts to allies- hearts can be stored and thrown like normal items, and a player can use the item to add a heart to their health bar (the item will vanish from their inventory).

And of course once you reach zero hearts, you’re banned from the SMP. That’s it, it’s over. Unless someone chooses to revive you. That’s pretty rare though, so mostly 0 hearts = death! 

But in the cases where players are revived, it’s with the use of a special item that looks like a beacon, crafted with 4 nether stars, 4 hearts, and an elytra. Hearts in this case can function like nether stars- you can use 8 hearts and an elytra to craft the beacon. It’s very expensive, which is why it’s not used often.

Okay, great! So where do I start watching? So first, you’ll want to know that Lifesteal has four seasons so far- no! wait! don’t let that scare you off! please come back! Phew, okay. You’re still here? Alright! I was just about to tell you that you don’t have to watch them in order, don’t worry! You can start on Season One, but you really don’t need to. Most people start on Season 3 for The Gays™️ or Season Two for Clownpierce.

The most common recommendation you’ll see for new viewers is to watch Clownpierce and Branzy (yes, they’re the gays your dash won’t shut up about). Branzy doesn’t appear until Season 3, though, and he only has 6 Lifesteal episodes (find them here). Clown’s been here a bit longer, and you can find his videos here. Oh, and here’s the s3 branzypierce playlist.

What’s Branzypierce? Branzypierce, also known as Clownzy, is the ship name of BranzyCraft and Clownpierce. They’re the most popular ship here in the fandom, because it’s basically canon. I wish i was joking. Just. Click this.

But if you’re not interested in just Clown and Branzy, or you’ve already watched them and looking to find more people to watch, then keep on reading! There’s plenty more below. Before we get into it, if you want a list of s3 events and how to watch them, look no further than this post. And keep in mind, most Lifesteal videos are self-contained enough that you can watch them without prior knowledge! You almost don’t even have to watch anyone’s series in order from what I’ve found.

Starting us off, just. Ashswagg. Communism and God. I really can’t explain him to you just please go watch it. It’s only three videos I promise. 

Okay, okay, now go HERE to find more channel recommendations. I would link them below, but it’d just be copying the post since I personally have not watched many people beyond Clown and Branzy. Yeah, the gays got to me, I know.

Oh, hey! Exclusive, just for you! Here’s a quick post with other fun duos besides Branzypierce!

What about Season 4?  You may have noticed that all the links led to S3 playlists. Good job! That’s because S4 has just started and there’s not much content. Before you get into S4, you should know there’s a new system implemented that limits the armor and tools players can get- info here. 

Now how to watch it? Just go here. It’s got everything you need. There’s not much so far, though, so I wouldn’t try to watch it if you’re just looking to get into Lifesteal in general! Watch s3 to get content!

Do any of them stream? Yes! Not all of them do, but there are a good few Lifesteal streamers. First up, ItzSubz has Something going on over there, so go check that out. Not sure if any of the others stream regularly, but here’s the list of all their channels!

Alright, so where do I go for Tumblr content? Woo, you’ve been dragged in! You’ve checked out a couple videos! Now please, step right up to a list that is rapidly growing as Lifesteal skyrockets in popularity here on Tumblr!

Looking for incredible art? Our two main dedicated and amazing artists are @kishdoodles and @ghostpajamas​, who are probably responsible for dragging most of us here (/lh! thanks guys! you’re awesome!)

If you have questions or want to know more about Lifesteal, I’d reccommend Ghost and @branzypierce​, who I will never stop promoting as our resident experts. I’ve heard @rendogdomesticated​ also knows quite a bit, especially when it comes to Subz!

(a/n: please add onto this list! the four users i’ve linked are the blogs i know of who i see posting Lifesteal content and who know more in-depth information about Lifesteal. I will add more blogs to this list, and I’m very sorry if I missed anyone!)

That’s it, folks! I’m sure more information will be added to this post as is needed! Anything I should add? Let me know!

brainrot

jay ferin

shilo character study!!! poor little vampire rapunzel… share you theories about him here or there!!! that Is A Requirement. please. please talk to me about him.

last time I'm posting tonight (probably) but seriously I'm seeing too many lesbiphobes on my dash in jrwiblr and I'm just fucking tired block me if you support mspec lesbians pls or atleast die or whatever

You choose:

Encouragement Reminder Positivity

Amazing

A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN

there is no final version of yourself. we never stop growing or changing, nor should we. stop beating yourself up for not being ‘there’ yet.

Happiness Will Come To You.

Once again not great with wordsand it is 12 am but as a disabled trans person i have. so many thoughts on William Wisp. its something about being at war with your own body. knowing that something is fundamentally Wrong with you, this disconnect between your body and spirit (quite literally, in his case) and knowing that at any moment it can fail on you. the fear that any moment your own body will betray you. this thing that is, for lack of a better term, meant to be you functioning in a way that you cant control. Its being able to look at your own body and it no longer being you, knowing that you are something that exists within it and not it itself. and knowing that no one else can understand because their body is them while your body is something you are trapped in, something that you are so fully aware of in a way no one else around you is as you can feel yourself rotting away, and being so painfully aware of every sensation you can feel and sensation that you cant feel that comes so easily to everyone else. Your own body is something Other, something that you are Not, yet is the very thing that defines you.