“stars As You Know Them” — Ghostsoap

“stars as you know them” — ghostsoap

731 words

WARNING: non-descriptive mentions of blood, and a bullet wound! dying??

“I’m Your Man” - Mitski

“Soap, do you copy?”

The sky is beautiful tonight. Can’t remember the last time he’d bothered to just look up, just to admire. Just to enjoy.

He didn’t know much about the stars, but he could find the dipper if he stared long enough. Easy enough to find the one that actually looks like a spoon.

He tries.

It’s getting harder to focus.

“Johnny, report!”

The voice in his ear is loud, and somewhere in the back of his head Soap knows he should respond. It isn’t that he doesn’t want to— but his tongue feels so heavy in his mouth, clumsy. The words just don’t want to form, mouth opening and closing around sounds and syllables that don’t actually make it past his lips. He feels like a fish on land.

Maybe it’s getting harder to breathe.

Tastes like copper, for sure.

He can feel his heartbeat like a drum.

Thump, Thump, Thump. Against his chest, again and again.

If someone were to find him, would they be able to hear it just as loud?

The world is strangely quiet now, and he thinks; finally, a break. His eyelids threaten to close, and he so badly wants to sleep. He deserves to sleep, after all this time. It isn’t so selfish, is it?

“Johnny— Johnny, you have— … talk to me … — are you?”

I want to. He says, but doesn’t really say at all. I want to, can’t you see I’m trying my best?

He can’t lift his hand to check, but he feels the warm sticky texture of blood between his fingertips. Coating his palm where it weakly holds against the wound in his stomach.

He can’t remember how it happened, now. Like it was so long ago, just a distant irrelevant memory to hold onto. Too much work now for his brain, for his body.

His fingers feel numb.

He gurgles out a strange, sort of laugh, at the thought. They don’t quite feel like anything, then, do they?

“Sorry.” Is all he manages to get out, tongue stumbling over the singular word. He isn’t quite sure if it came out at all. “M’sorr—“ the clumsy word is cut short by a sharp gasp, and a shaky exhale. “Sorry.”

He’s met with silence, which only further convinces him that the words he’s hearing coming out of his mouth aren’t really at all.

“Don’t apologize, don’t— don’t do that, Johnny.” Comes the harsh response.

Soap feels his lips form some sort of smile.

“You’re gonna be …” Soap doesn’t hear the next part, thinks maybe he’s missed it. Ghost starts again, “Fine. You’re gonna be fine. We’re gonna find you, we are. We’re gonna find you, and get you help, and you’re gonna be fine.”

Sounds an awful lot like Ghost is trying to convince himself, rather than Soap.

He thinks he hears other voices, a back and forth conversation, it’s muted. Somewhere in the background. It takes him a moment to realize that they’re coming from Ghost’s end of the comm, not him. Not him. No one else is here but him.

He had never thought dying would feel so lonely. Always thought it would come to him fast, that he would be one of the lucky ones that didn’t see it coming before it struck.

Never thought it would be so slow.

“We have you now. We have you, Johnny. Now you’re gonna wait— you’re gonna keep your eyes open.”

Quietly, Soap thinks this might be the kindest voice Ghost has ever directed at him. Soothing. Thinks that maybe he can keep his eyes open after all, if that’s what’s wanted of him.

There are so many things he’s wanted to say.

Always thought he might have had a little more time to say them all, or maybe just some. Never thought he wouldn’t get the chance. What a silly thought to have, in their line of work. Soap should have known better than that.

“Gh—“ his voice cracks on a gasp once again.

“We’re so close, Johnny.”

I love you.

I love you, I love you.

You have to know that.

He should respond, he should. Sleep is creeping up on him, now. Too fast. The sky seems so full of stars now, there hadn’t been that many before.

He can’t find the dipper anymore.

Can’t remember if it was ever there at all.

“Johnny?”

He thinks it’s a nice way to go, hearing the sound of his name of Ghost’s tongue one last time.

The world finally falls quiet.

Quote Prompt

“My mom thinks that it’s weird that I’ve picked you as a father-figure, but she doesn’t mind. She wants it widely known that you're not my birth father, though. She was very clear about that. She says that under no circumstances would she ever fuck you.”

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m0th-b0nes

7 years ago

World Building Master List

Now that we’re finished with the World Building Blog Series, I’ve assembled a master list of all the post for your convenience

Language

Technology

Taboos

Marriages and Relationships

Legalities

Geography and Weather - The Basics

Geography and Weather - Plot Relevance

Transportation and Travel

Architecture

City Planning

Medicine - The Basics

Medicine - Sex and Reproduction

Medicine - Mental Health and Disability

Magic - The Basics

Magic - Healing

Magic - Combat

Magic - Animals and Shapeshifters

Clothing

Food

Entertainment

Jobs and Education

Military and Law Enforcement

Crime

War

Religion - The Basics

Religion - Holidays and Sacred Sites

Religion - Worship

Children

Races and Species

History

Flora and Fauna

Government

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m0th-b0nes

1 year ago

now ms cain,,,,,,

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m0th-b0nes

1 year ago

godhood is just like girlhood: a begging to be believed

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m0th-b0nes

7 months ago

Said it a year ago and I’ll say it again.

Pirate all your favorite shows, movies and games while you still have the chance.

Oh, and never stop supporting physical media.

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m0th-b0nes

1 year ago

Super soft intimacy

cradling the face, looking into their eyes

pressing foreheads against each other

sighing into the other's mouth

kisses all over the face

calling each other petnames they wouldn't use in public

hugging the other from behind

sliding hands under their clothes

softly stroking their warm skin

ruffling the other's hair

murmuring sweet things into their ears

stroking the other's finger while holding hands

nuzzling into their neck

massaging their feet

napping together

having the other's head on their lap

staring into each other's eyes

pressing soft kisses on their shoulders

smiling into the kiss

If you like my blog and want to support me, you can buy me a coffee or become a member! And check out my Instagram! 🥰

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m0th-b0nes

2 years ago

random things i find romantic

staring at each other’s eyes and getting lost in their gaze

staring at someone from the corner of your eyes

and quickly turning away when they return your gaze

scented candles

matching necklace and rings

random “this made me think about you”s

“uh, so i find *your favourite character* very neat…tell me more about them?”

getting your lover a flowerpot

and when they ask laughing, “why are so extra? you could have just brought a flower”

you gently reply, “i want our love to grow and blossom, not to be a temporary pleasure, beloved.”

subconsciously linking little fingers

gentle reminders about how much they love you

long letters that talk about every silly to deep topics

interest exchange <3

saving their name as “my beloved <3″

soft stares and silly grins

nuzzling your sleepy head into their chest

playing with their hair

handmade cards

pouting when they say they have to leave for the day

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m0th-b0nes

5 months ago

you guys made luigi mangione trend for days and I need to see the same energy for brianna boston. she is a 43 year old mother of three who ended a phone call with blue cross blue shield (after being denied a claim) “delay deny depose, you people are next” and is now being held under a 100,000$ bond and could face FIFTEEN years of prison if charged. she has no weapons, her record is clean, and yet she is being held behind bars. they are afraid of the public and are trying to subdue. do not let them!!!! be outraged that our freedom of speech is being threatened!!!!! deny defend depose! free brianna boston!

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m0th-b0nes

6 months ago

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m0th-b0nes

1 year ago

[ID: A video recording of Bisan Owda, filming herself standing still and speaking in front of a car underneath the morning sky in Gaza, with the sun visible above her head. Loud sirens can be heard around her as she says:

"Hey, everyone. This is Bisan from Gaza. We're still alive, and we wish you a merry Christmas in the Christmas eve. Wish you a merry Christmas despite the churches of Gaza are closed, full of displaced people, and surrounded with snipers. We wish you a merry Christmas despite the children, women, men, Christians and Muslims of Gaza are murdered and under genocide. We wish you a merry Christmas despite that we cannot exchange gifts or spend our holidays in our homes because they are completely destroyed, and merry Christmas despite there are hundreds of killed, decomposed bodies in the the north of Gaza Strip in the streets, at least 137 them are field executed by the Israeli soldiers in front of their children. Merry Christmas, but pray for Gaza."

End ID.]

Please think about why these videos are coming out in English. In your tongue, so that you can understand them. Don't ignore them or get tired of seeing them or call them guilt-trippy. Don't stop talking about Palestine. Make Palestine impossible to ignore. Even at the cost of "disrupting" your celebrations.

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