Alternate Universes

peaky blinders

(mainly shelby!sis but a few aren’t)

4 Brothers and a Wedding

A Death On Christmas Eve

A Little Fall of Rain

Ada

Big Brother

Big Sister, part 2

Biscuits

Blind Affection

Bonnie In Love

Breaking In

Candles

Catch Me? Always

Cluedo

Cold

Cousins

Creepy Painting

Damsel Doing Damage

Dance

Dear Mother

Death

Don’t Cry For Me

Drink and Love

Drunken Kissing

Ears Everywhere

Eighteen

Eldest Shelby, part 2

Eyebrows

F*cking Hell

Family

Feeling Ill

Fire in the Hole

First Kill

First Month

Florence Nightingale 

Flowers

Fox in the Snow

From Birth to Death

Garden Girl

Give Me Away

Go Traveling

Grey Lady

Havoc

Heroes and Villains

Hi, Bi

Home

Horse Racing

Hung, Part 2, Part 3

I Have You

I Love You

I’m Done

I’m Done, Part 2

I’ve Got You, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7 

Idiots, part 2

In the Bleak Midwinter

It Isn’t Your Fault

John

Killer Sister

Late

Life

Listening

Love Shouldn’t Hurt This Much

Low

Maternal Instinct

Metaphorically or Physically

Missing

My Baby

New Year’s Eve

No. Six

O’Christmas Tree

OBE, DCM, MM, MP

Overdosed

Part 2 to something apparently

Photograph

Photos

Play Nice

Please Be Proud

Pressed Flowers

Prove Yourself

Runaways, part 2, part 3

Sarcasm, Part 2

Scavenger

School of Art

Sent Home

Sexy and Free

Shelby Ladies

Shot

Sibling Pain

Siblings

Sixth Sense

Snowballed

Soft Hair

Stand Up For Yourself

Stop Loving You

Swan Lake

Tantrum

The Girl With the Tattoo’s

The Grey’s

The Letters

Tired

Titanic

Trapped

Tree

Wait for Me

We’re Twins

Wedding Day

Wedding Surprise

When You Are Young

Where’s Your Shoe?

Wild Night Out

Women

You’re Allowed to Not Be Ok

Young and in Love

How the company reacts to finding out you and fili are married 😂

I loved this request and I decided that instead of making into a full blown fic - that would take me even longer to publish - I would do it headcanon style. 

Look at me making my way through requests 💪!

The Company Reacting to You and Fili being Married

Fíli x fem!reader 

Warnings: Fíli has one braincell in this one and he does not use it, open ending because it started to get too long but we all know it would turn out okay in the end, f-word, it is really silly I’M SORRY

A/N: It might not be exactly what you had in mind when sending in the request but it’s where my imagination took me 😆 This should not be taken seriously.

you were a last minute addition to the Company

Fíli and Kíli had kept the Quest a secret but you found out anyway, following them all the way to Bag-End

because there was no way they were leaving you behind

they were not happy - except maybe Kíli who was over the moon to see you

almost breaking his brother’s ribs when he shoved his elbow in Fíli’s side

wiggling his eyebrows while his eyes drifted towards you 

Fíli immediately regretting ever telling Kíli of his crush on you

little did he know you felt exactly the same

anyways

back to the Company

lots of protest from the other Dwarves because there was no way they were taking a woman with them

it didn’t take long for you to wrap each and every one of them around your little finger

them quickly agreeing on you coming along, but you had to promise not to be a burden to them 

Kíli blurting out that he and Fíli would look after you

that earned him a swift kick to the shins from Fíli

he made Kíli promise not to tell you anything and to not tease him about it

Kíli promised to behave and not embarass him in front of you

crossed fingers behind his back

during the journey Fíli had a hard time keeping it together around you

much to the delight of Kíli who found it all hilarious

at the slightest sign of danger, Fíli did his best to shield you from it

it kind of was exhausting really, keeping an eye on both you and his brother while also not trying to get killed himself 

as long as you were safe, that was what mattered most 

he thought he could pick up some signals from you that you might be feeling the same

or that could just be him seeing things

he was planning on asking you if he could court you as soon as they reclaimed Erebor 

so he still had some time to build up his courage

and he was sure not to tell his brother about this 

but everything escalated one night when Thorin decided to share some news

they were all sitting around the campfire, chatting after dinner

when suddenly the subject of marriage comes up 

Ori asking what a wedding ceremony is like, since he never witnessed one before

before anyone can explain, Thorin clears his throat

“You will find out soon enough. We will have a wedding once Erebor is reclaimed.”

Everyone looking at each other questioningly, shrugging shoulders when asked if they know something

“Who’s getting married?”

dramatic silence

then Thorin looks at Fíli

“As soon as Erebor is ours again, Fíli is to be wed to a lady of nobility of the Iron Hills.”

a few gasps were heard among the Company

Fíli had dropped his bowl of stew to the ground

Kíli sat wide-eyed beside him, his eyes flickering to you 

you were completely still, as if frozen in place

you should have known you didn’t stand a chance

Fíli is part of the royal family after all 

but then Fíli stands up with a jolt, as if bitten by something

“I can’t marry her.”

Thorin sighs, he knew this was coming

“Fíli, it is important to strengthen the relations with-”

“No, I can’t marry her because... because...”

his eyes landed on you and his heart broke 

your eyes fixed on the ground, hands tucked underneath your thighs and biting your lip 

in complete panic he said the first thing that came into his mind

“... because I’m ALREADY MARRIED!”

okay well

that maybe wasn’t the best thing to say 

seeing how Thorin was about to burst

“Already married? TO WHOM?!”

...

Fíli panicked again

think of a name think of a name think of a name

any name but-

“Y/N!”

your head snapped up and your jaw almost fell to the ground

Kíli screeched in excitement, clapping his back

“Way to go, brother! You never told me you guys eloped?! No wonder she was so keen on coming along.”

Fíli looked at him and was speechless

did he seriously believe he would marry someone without telling him

without telling anyone?

yes, yes he did

it appeared the whole company believed it

he received pats on the back, a shove here and there

lots of ‘congratulations’ and ‘well done’

Dori was tearing up

Glóin and Bombur welcomed him ‘to the club’

you received the same treatment but were still too stunned to react 

when Thorin stood before you, you almost cowered in fear underneath his stare 

he crossed his arms and gave you a stern look

“Are you pregnant?”

“NO!” both you and Fíli yelled at the same time, absolutely mortified

his lips started to twitch and to your surprise Thorin smiled at you

“It didn’t go the way I expected but... Welcome to the family!”

Thorin hugs you

I repeat

Thorin hugs you

meanwhile Fíli is having a small extensive crisis 

he meets your eyes and you’re shooting daggers at him

he fucked up big time

there was no way out of this 

not this time

after Thorin it was Kíli’s turn to give you a bonecrushing hug

your feet might have been off the ground for a few seconds

“I never thought he would finally grow a pair! I mean... he couldn’t even talk to you without embarassing himself!”

“Thank you Kee”

you locked eyes with Fíli again

“Excuse me, I need a word with my husband.”

you ignored the feeling in your stomach when you said that

how right it felt 

lots of hooting and hollering when you dragged Fíli out of the campsite

you raised an eyebrow at him in question

enter puppy eyed Fíli 

“I panicked”

“Out of all the names you could have blurted out it had to be mine?”

since he was already in too deep he could just as well tell you the truth

it’s not like it couldn’t get much worse at this point

“You’re the only one I’m thinking about.”

smooth Fíli, really smooth

you’re speechless but your eyes betray you

they’re filled with love and adoration

and Fíli’s heart fills with hope

maybe he didn’t screw it up that bad

his hand disappears in his pocket

here goes nothing

“I was going to wait until we were at the Lonely Mountain...”

he opens his hand for you and you see a blue and silver courting bead with intricate carvings

“But since we’re already married-”

 you scoffed, but couldn’t help the wide grin on your face

“Would you do me the honor of braiding your hair?”

Told you it was an open ending... but we all know how this one would continue :) 

Permanent taglist: @roosliefje @kata1803 @entishramblings @artsywaterlily @sleepy-daydream-in-a-rose @marvelschriss @kumqu4t @myrin1234 @dark-angel-is-back @the-fandoms-georgie @lathalea @xxbyimm @sokkasdarling @katethewriter @aredhel-of-gondolin @leethology @thepeanutcollective 

Masterlist

Thorin Oakenshield x reader

Smoke, Iron, and Thorin (Ongoing)

Chapter 1- Smoke, Iron, and Thorin

Chapter 2- I Wasn't Completely Nude

Chapter 3- Anger Translator

Chapter 4- Like We Used To Be

Chapter 5- Care to Make a Wager?

Chapter 6- Owe You One

Chapter 7- The Voice of Hunger

Chapter 8- You Love Bread

Chapter 9- Good Girl

Chapter 10- What We Left Behind in the Flames

Chapter 11- coming soon

18+ mdni (female reader who's implied to be younger. idk what this is y'all I just need Jack and Samira so bad)

thinking about Jack coming home from covering for someone on the day shift to find both his girls, you and Samira, making out on his bed. what gets him even more worked up? you two don't pay any attention to him, either because you haven't noticed him or you're truly just too focused on each other to care about anything else.

thinking about the obscene sounds of hungry lips exploring each other and desperate moaning filling out the bedroom as you and Samira grow needier for each other. the way the air slowly starts to feel heavier, becomes filled with your scent and hers mixing together with Jack's cologne. your hands roam all over her body as you can't help but start trailing kisses down her neck until you get to her collarbone. the lewd whine she lets out when you suck on her clavicle goes straight to Jack's cock and has you soaking your panties.

and Jack's a smart man, he's not gonna interrupt his girls and get in the way of perfection. instead, he opts for pulling his cock out of his boxers to fist it, slowly at first. he watches as you move on to Samira's naked chest, taking a nipple in your mouth while you twist the other with your fingers. he can see how much you're trying to take it easy, but he knows how much you love her tits. and just as he expected, Samira yelps as you resort to biting and sucking instead of the gentle suckling you'd been doing previously.

you release your girlfriend's abused nipple with a plop sound before looking at her. and it's like you two can just communicate through one look, because next thing he knows, Jack is watching you and her giggle like the two little brats you are.

"so, doctor Abbot, are you finally gonna join us or has old age finally caught up to your body?"

you don't have to ask him twice

Lean On Me (Part 4/7)

Pairing: Dr Michael 'Robby" Robinavitch x younger! Langdon's little sister! reader

Things heat up over breakfast but it takes a turn for the worst during your shift.

Warnings: casual drinking, mentions of work in a strip club, general lack of clothing in the workplace slow burn

(I know nothing about working in a strip club, so this is all based off media representations, sorry for any mistakes)

Part three / part five

taglist: @dayswithoutcoffee, @hagarsays, @4ishere, @omgbrianab

“I have two days off.” Michael announced as you both settled into your booth, the waitress already there filling your mugs with coffee. She didn’t even need to ask for your orders, you and Michael had been coming here every day for over two weeks now, and every day it was two cups of coffee and a large stack of pancakes to share.

You didn’t even really love pancakes, not enough to eat them every day but somehow it had become you and Michaels thing. Two coffees, six pancakes and two forks. With the last bite shared between you both. 

It was sweet, domestic, and really fucking weird, if you admitted it to yourself.

Somehow in such a short amount of time, Michael had become your closest friend and confidant. 

“I’m jealous, what is on the agenda?”

“Sleep, grocery shop and clean my place. I don’t remember the last time I gave it more than a quick hoover.”

“Oh now I really am jealous!”

Michael laughed and dug into the pancakes, a peaceful silence falling between you both as you sipped your overly sweetened coffee. Your crush on the doctor hadn’t calmed down as the days went on and you got to know him better. Instead it was getting worse with every passing moment between the two of you. 

Some days you can’t stop yourself staring into his big brown eyes, with their crinkled crows feets and soft eyelashes. His hair, receding with age, but full and salted with greys at the temple that he didn’t hide with dye or a cut, made him just look more distinguished. But the way when flustered he ran his long fingers through his hair, it was enough to make you squeeze your thighs together each time, and for you to hold yourself back from running your own fingers through the hair.

Not to mention the spark you get with every accidental touch, from a slight tap on your lower back as you enter the diner, fingers grazing together as he passes you a fork or the sugar bowl. Everytime it feels like he hesitates, holding on for just a millisecond longer than he should.

Or maybe you're emotionally wrung out and it's been a while since anyone has shown you even a little bit of affection and you don’t know how to deal with kindness.

“I also have a bachelor party tonight.”

“You do not sound that excited.”

“It's for a colleague, Dr Shen, and I’m not really sure what has been planned and the planner of the event scares me a little.”

You laugh and can’t help but love as a little tinge of pink colours his cheeks, Michael Robinavitch blushing is going to be a core memory.

“Who's planning it?”

“Jack.”

“Isn’t he like your best friend or something?”

“Which is why I know to be scared, it could either be whiskeys and steak at a fancy dinner or strippers at a seedy club and no food in sight.”

A seedy club your voice gets stuck in your throat and you can’t hear anything else he’s saying. There are over fifty strip clubs in Pittsburgh city centre and they range from fancy to seedy with yours falling somewhere just above the middle. There was no way in all of Pittsburgh strip clubs he would end up at yours.

You were not that unlucky.

“What one are you hoping for?”

“Whiskey, steaks and in bed by eleven?” he said hopefully, “because I think I'm too old for strip clubs.”

You laugh and pull the pancakes away from him and grab a mouthful, smiling as the syrup coats your lips. You may or may not have taken a little longer to lick the sweet sugar from your bottom lip.

“You’re not that old,” you croon a little, your voice dropping an octave, and you scream at yourself WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

Michael stared at you through hooded lids, suddenly finding the table incredibly fascinating.

“I’m old enough to be your father.” he practically whispered.

“But you’re not.” you say, the air suddenly thick between you both, “And-” you swallow trying to find the right words, “Maybe I need someone more mature, wise-”

“Sweetheart-” he purrs, interrupting your nervous and desperate ranting. How did a conversation about whiskey and steaks get this in two sentences, you can’t keep a grin off your lips and your coffee and pancakes long forgotten as you slide your hands innocently across the worn vinyl table.

“Doctor Robinavitch.” You drag out each syllable, and you watch as he tries to catch himself, his own fingers now edging towards yours. Fingertips touching, slowly and carefully. 

“Fuck-” You whisper as he leans further in. You can’t breathe and you can’t speak as you both now sat at the edge of your respective seats, hands clasped over the table and then suddenly you felt it, his foot breaching under the table and just touching yours.  

It's so PC, so high school, and yet the touch was enough to almost send you over the line.

“More coffee?” The old sour faced waitress asked, breaking the tension. 

You both jump in your seats, hands now pulled back in laps, feet securely under your own chairs.

“No thank you.” you both mutter, unable to look at her. 

You both quickly make excuses to leave, he mumbles something about grocery shopping and you respond saying you had to go home and walk Dog.

Normally your breakfasts end with a hug and a reminder to see the other person the next day, but after whatever had just happened inside that diner you couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but give an awkward wave and rush towards the bus stop.

You could still feel the touch of him on your hands as you tried to rub the feeling away but it lingered long after the bus lurched away from the stop.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can’t get Michael Robinavitch out of your head as the night passes and you are stuck working the floor.

Everytime you get a moment to yourself, your mind wanders to his touch, the way his foot grazed yours under the table, the purr in his voice as he says ‘Sweetheart’. It pulls you in, distracting you as you handle another evening being ogled and objectified. 

Your heels stuck to the vinyl, and someone had turned the heating up to an uncomfortable level causing your body glitter to run slightly as you rushed from table to table.

It was a Wednesday night and back in the day that had meant a slow and easy night but your creep of a boss had decided that Wednesday nights was now ‘Wings Night’, where as long as you kept buying drinks, and dances, you got a free bucket of wings.

So you walked, swaying slightly to the music, from one end of the club to another, off loading beers, whiskeys and internalising every cringe as slightly greasy fingers tipped you.

“Another one here sweetheart.” bellowed a patron, whose eyes never lifted higher than your chest, his fingers slick with the sauce of a chicken wing sliding instead of snapping for your attention.

You almost roll your eyes at the nickname, from Michaels lips it could bring you to your knees, from this pathetic man it took everything not to knee him in his unmentionables.

You knew that it was part of the job, along with the tiny pleated skirt and black bra that covered nothing but your nipples, but after over ten years of the same job you did start to think that maybe you had been someone awful in a past life.

You gather the tables empty glasses and confirm they wish for another round of the same. 

More lewd comments are thrown your way and you smile in return, big and broad like you had learnt when you started.

“Another round for table seven please Joe!” you call to the bartender, Joe was an older guy who was a bartender slash bouncer and the loveliest man you had ever known. In his late fifties he had seen and done it all, and was always more than happy to dole out advice or protect the girls on and off the stage.

“You doing okay?” 

“Always!”

“Liar!” you both laugh and turn as another group of men wander into the dark club. You shrug your shoulders back and plaster a smile on your face and take a step.

Then stop.

Amongst the seven or so men stood one slightly taller than the rest, with his hands in his pocket and stunning brown eyes that seemed to glow against the glistering stage lights.

Michael.

In your club.

Your tray clangs to the floor as you lose all decorum, rushing behind the bar and ducking. 

You can’t breathe.

What is he doing here?

“You doing okay?” Joe asked, not moving from his spot, tea towel in hand as he wiped a glass. 

“Please tell me that group didn’t just walk into my section?” You prayed, there were only three of you on the floor tonight. Half the girls who had been rostered on called in sick, most likely because they didn’t want to spend half of the next morning washing wing sauce off their uniform.

“Want me to lie?”

“Fuck!” you hiss and close your eyes.

You seriously must have been a truly horrible person in your former life.

“Is there a problem?” Suddenly Joe was before you, squatting down as his knees creaked.

You laugh dryly and take ten deep breaths, each one causing Joe to frown further.

“The tall one is my brother's boss.”

“That’s awkward but-”

“Who I had the most sexually charged breakfast with this morning, and if the waitress hadn’t come over, I probably would have mounted him on top of our pancakes.”

Joe's frown disappeared and his brows shot up, “Well that's a pickle but-”

“He also thinks I work at an office supply store.”

“This is not an office supply store.”

“Oh really?” you cringe up at him but he's just smiling.

“Everyone deals with this at one point or another. At least he’s just a crush and not your husband.”

He holds up his hand and forces you to your feet. There is no good option here, you could either stay behind the bar for a moment longer, and have your creep boss find you and berate you for wasting time in front of every patron in the club, or you go out there with your head held high and take their drinks orders.

Michael looked awkward at the glance you had seen so maybe he will be too busy looking at the floor or making excuses to leave to notice you.

Wishful thinking or delusional, you can't decide which as you straighten your skirt, holster up your bra and give Joe a kiss on the cheek.

You got this you mutter as you place table sevens drinks on your tray.

You let Michael and his group settle at a table close to the stage, most of them immediately distracted by Cherry dancing to an 80s classic, her lycra outfit reminiscent of a time most of the table would have been in high school or college.

You cringe a little, it's a subtle reminder of the age gap you had been trying to ignore. You hadn’t even been born until the 90s, your parents hadn’t even known each other in the 80s! 

Distracted you place drinks in front of the wrong men, each one swapping and changing, laughing at you as you just smile through the fumble.

“Sorry guys!” You say as more notes are slipped under the waistband of your skirt. 

You take just a moment to remove the notes, placing them in the pouch you kept inside your bra, nestled in the flimsy fabric was almost four hundred dollars of slightly sticky notes. 

Your club was good enough that it was discouraged to tip in ones or twos, instead the minimum tip is ‘suggested’ to be tens or higher and with the slightly nicer atmosphere and ‘classy’ dancing, this meant it was mostly adhered to. 

Someone at Michaels table waves you down, he has a kind face, older like Michael with salt and pepper curls cut short. Military, you clock almost immediately. They are easy to recognise in places like this, you can’t put into words why but they are.

It’s Jack Abbot you guess, knowing him only from your brother and Michaels stories.

It takes only ten steps to get from table seven to their table, you lean over a spare chair at their table, smiling as the men, predictably, look south before looking at your face. You don't look at Michael purposely smiling only at Dr Abbot and the man that must be the Bachelor. 

He looked wrecked, his shirt half open and his eyes just a little glazed over. 

“I think some water for you.” you purr, some people have a retail voice or their corporate voice, you had what could only be described as a ‘slutty’ voice.

The bachelor nodded, unable to look at anything in particular. Everyone else at the table was doing okay, a few reddened cheeks but everyone was pretty much sober.

“I’ll bring over some wings, and maybe chips, let's put something in your stomach.” You say before turning to Jack, “And for the table?”

Jack smiles, looking you in your eyes, which is a rarity in your line of work, “What whiskeys do you have?”

You laugh, gently swatting him on the shoulder, “You’re in a strip club honey, we got a bottle with the word Whiskey on it and that's about it.”

“Fancy stuff?”

“It will do the job.” Both of you laugh and you lift your head up.

Suddenly your stomach is in your throat. Brown eyes meet yours and they are alight with something you can’t quite describe.

Michael is staring at you, his hands white knuckling the table as he ignores any and all attempts of his friends trying to talk to him. The air that had been sickly warm was now freezing, you look away quickly, unable to catch his eye.

“I’ll be right back with your wings and whiskey!” you chirp, your work voice long gone as you try to shrink away.

Of course he would look up at you, you had to be an idiot to think he wouldn’t look up when a waitress spoke with him, no matter the location.

You can’t get away fast enough as your heels stick to the floor.

You could feel his eyes on you as you walked away, burning a hole into your back.

“I think Dr Bossman wants to eat you.” Joe says as he gathers the glasses and Whiskey, “He hasn’t blinked since you walked up.”

You throw a cautionary look behind you, everyone at the table was chatting amongst themselves, except for Michael who was just staring straight at you.

You try to give him an encouraging smile but it falters as he stands up, his chair creaking and his friends looking at him with confusion.

You rush to tell Joe the table's order, your voice getting lost as you continue to look back at Michael whose face has now gone a particular shade of red.

It was Jack who noticed the looks between the two of you. He looks from you back to Michael and then back to you, like he was watching a game of tennis before he is laughing to himself. 

It takes Michael no time to move around his table and to get to you. Before you can even greet him with any kind of sound other than a squeak, his hand is tight around your forearm and he's pulling you towards the door marked ‘Staff- No Entry’.

Residuals Pt. 4

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: You and Robby spent seven long years together until the day it ended. You’ve done your best to create space; to become invisible. You can’t miss what you don’t see. Unfortunately, the universe (Gloria and the Board of Directors) seemed to have missed the memo.

Pairing: Michael ‘Robby’ Robinavitch x Reader

Genre: Established previous relationship, slight age gap (by about 15 years give or take), a little bit of tension mixed in with a little bit of hate yearning, cause she’s a saucy angsty fic ok

A/N: First, I read an article on burns to try and make this as accurate as possible, (article here by the NIH) but it’s still not terribly accurate. So, please, I tried lol. Secondly, I’m still screaming at the amount of love you guys have shown this series. Truly, I appreciate it more than y’all know. Thirdly, enter in a little extra dash of drama by Gloria (who redeemed herself in ep.12 but we ain’t there yet) and ya girl is just having a rough-ass day. Fourthly, yeah…she’s a thick chapter. Hopefully, it's still good because I’ve edited it as much as I can. As always, I hope you all enjoy. Thank you for the support and for being here. Much Love, Jenn

Warnings: Mentions of death, language

Words: 10k +

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Whitaker proved to be an adept student. He followed directions well and answered whatever questions you threw his way about proper wound care at home and possible infection risks around the burned areas. When you’d finished with the first patient, you ensured he knew to return to the emergency room immediately if they experienced any new or persistent discomfort, like pain or tenderness in the area, increased warmth, discoloration, or advanced swelling. 

“If the infection is invasive and takes hold of the wound, what is the main course of treatment, Dr. Whitaker?”

“We would contact surgery.”

“Correct. Why?” 

“The need for surgery would be based on the high concentration of the bacteria levels found present in the wound.”

“We’d check for signs of possible sepsis and a full check-up to narrow down if it's gram-negative or positive bacteria, which tells us further about our treatment plan. What is the chief cause of burn wound infections?”

“Staphylococcus Aureus - MRSA.”

“How would we verify the patient had MRSA or any other type of possible bacterial infection?” 

“By taking a sample from the area for testing -“

“You guys aren’t about to cut me up or anything, are you?”  

The sudden input from the patient caused a nervous tick from Whitaker. It halted his hands from finishing the last few loops around with the gauze. The patients' eyes darted nervously from you to Whitaker and back again. You gave your best reassuring smile while making sure the dressing was secured on his chest and shoulder.

“Well, Kyle, the faster we get you out of here, you take the antibiotics I prescribe you, and make sure you keep your burns dressed and away from exposure to possible germs, then no. We won’t be ‘cutting you up’ today.”

“Okay. Cool. Because that sounds really uncool.”

Dilaudid truly did wonders for conversations. You’d have to make sure the discharge papers were clear on his care and warning signs to look out for. Plus, add extra emphasis on trying to make sure not to share any items in the frat house bathroom. 

In truth, it wasn’t him, but his fellow frat boy neighbor in four that had you worried. So far, he showed no obvious signs of infection, but once the adrenaline of the moment wore off he noticeably seemed to slip into shock at having half his face, eyelashes, and eyebrow singed off. Not enough shock, however, to keep from asking if he’d make a handsome Harvey Dent for Halloween. 

The burns to his neck and chest indicate to you he was closer to the fire pit than his buddy Whitaker currently patched up. You’d ordered blood work, x-rays, and a culture swab on two-face and his friend just to rule out any surprises. 

You did your full assessment, asked questions, and directed Whitaker the best you could. You wanted to be the good mentor like Adamson and Singh had been for you. A good mentor like Robby was too. You would never admit it out loud but a small piece of you wanted Robby to see how capable you were. A silent bid to prove he could trust you with his interns and medical students. Between Robby, Abbot, and the previous attendings you knew you could teach. 

It wasn’t a hidden thing that you’d both meet here during your residency. Yes, it was Adamson’s circus, but Robby thrived under Adamson’s direction and the insanity the Pitt offered. He was funny, charismatic, incredibly smart, and showed a level of empathy that bordered on worrisome at times. A tidal wave of grief encapsulated him and carried him under if he wasn’t careful. Robby was exactly the physician any patient should want taking care of them when they arrived in the ED. 

And hell, you weren’t blind. Anyone with eyes could see that Robby was handsome. Painstakingly, stupidly, egregiously, fucking handsome. It was fucking criminal. 

Robby taught you so much in the time you’d spent here and you knew he probably still could but that would mean being around him. The two of you standing closer than you’d been in years was proving to be a dangerous thing. He’d fallen back into the habit of stealing touches and you’d fallen back into the habit of shamelessly teasing him with things he’d usually make you pay for later trapped between his body and whatever surface in your house.

It was a dangerous game neither of you realized you were playing, and both of you were losing fast. Instead of having your focus one hundred percent on the patients and being back in the ED for the first time in years, your focus repeatedly returned where it shouldn’t. At first, you could lie to yourself and say you were simply scanning the hallways and nursing stations to make sure you didn’t see him. Of course, that’s what you wanted to believe; to coast through this shift without any additional emotional trauma following you home. 

It was fucking impossible.

You could continue to lie to yourself all you wanted, but the truth was blatantly clear. Your eyes didn’t comb over the hallways and desks in hopes of not finding him. You didn’t quickly peer into rooms in anticipation that he wouldn’t be in one. You wanted to see him just as much as you denied that you didn’t. 

The day you left, you made sure to do it while Robby was working because you knew, that if he’d been home and asked you to stay, you would’ve. And if he didn’t fight for you - never uttered a singular word of pleading to keep you from leaving, you weren’t sure you could survive it. 

So now you found yourself hopelessly looking for him in all the places you swore you’d never go again. You may have chosen to leave, but it never meant you stopped loving him. The fact you were still in love with him made seeing the lost look in his eyes sting harder. You watched as he spoke to the parents of the kid who overdosed with no possible hope of waking up again, and you wanted to go to him. It was the shattering look of grief that made you forget how to move. Robby knew what was coming better than anyone else did. 

How many times was Robby the one in charge of giving the heartbreaking news that loved ones weren’t coming home? Shouldering the burden of listening to the breakdown of their world and being the pillar of strength and comfort while families struggled to rearrange? 

You hadn’t realized the black hole of anxiety was leading you down a rabbit hole until the sound of Whitaker calling out, “Dr. Fullerton,” at your side left you practically jumping out of your skin. 

Shit. How long had you been zoned out? Hopefully, you hadn’t said anything weird. Or incriminating.

“Sorry,” he swiftly followed up. “I was trying to ask where we were off to next, but, uh, you seemed a little…preoccupied.”

“Oh, yeah, no sorry. You can go back to the red zone. I’m just going to help McKay up in triage.”

“Did I do something wrong?”

“What? No, not at all. You’ll have more of a chance to learn with Langdon and Collins.” What you actually meant was to see more if that was what he was into. “Also, maybe check on your last patient I pulled you away from earlier.”

“Oh, yeah, of course.” You watched him take your advice and, in real time, get ready to dispute it. “Why am I checking back in with Mr. Milton?”

What should you tell him? In the Pitt, it was easy to be thrown from one patient to the next - forgetting their faces and names as the minutes blurred into hours. Easy to forget they were waiting on test results that needed to be read by you and needed a treatment plan discussed and planned by you. Major issues could present as something small, something easily missable until further testing exposed the truth of the situation. If you went just the smallest amount of time without checking the results, without popping your head in for a visual, well, it wasn’t hard to imagine how sometimes those major issues finally presented themselves and everything got much, much worse. 

“Look, Whitaker. As much as the powers constantly stress about getting people in and out quickly like this is a drive-thru, we have an obligation to each patient to give them the best care we can. It means staying on top of orders and checking in regularly. Trust me, Whitaker, things can change quickly down here.”

“Okay, yeah. That makes perfect sense. Thanks, Dr. Fullerton.”

“You bet. See you around, Whitaker.”

He gave you an awkward wave and didn’t move right away. It wasn’t until you turned away from him that you heard him shuffle on his feet. A part of you was curious if you glanced behind you he’d still be standing there, deciding where to go.   

All that mattered to you was that you currently needed a new patient. It didn’t matter what the chief complaint was. Ideally, for the all-seeing eye of admin, quick and easy ones would look better. At this rate, you were positive your Press Ganey score was dipping. You were seeing patients at the speed of an R3; two patients per hour and they were after fast and loose results. But you wanted something with the capability to keep you occupied for hours. Preferably something that would require so much of your attention it would force you out of your head. 

Yeah, that would be good. It was too damn early still to be spiraling into a midlife crisis just because you had to work with your ex. An ex, you realized, who was wearing the damn navy blue hoodie you’d bought him on his last fishing trip to Canonsburg. 

No. No. Nope. You weren’t supposed to be thinking about him or stupid hoodies or the gold chain of his necklace that used to drag over your collarbone. How your fingers curled around the thin chain, using it like a lead, to bring him down on top of you on the couch. Absolutely not - you were at work and he was your ex. He was your ex and you shouldn’t fucking care how you could still tell after all these months he was sleeping like shit. 

You were almost back to Dana’s station, the monitor looming overhead like a beacon to salvation when you noticed Whitaker walking in tandem beside you. You cocked a brow in question that Whitaker rushed to answer. 

“The board is this way, so…”

Right. You knew that. 

“I was trying to talk to you but I think you were in deep thought or something. Again.”

Or something. God. That was twice. Twice your head was everywhere else but where it needed to be, which was at work. You should’ve fought harder when Gloria came to reassign you, but none of this should’ve mattered. 

You were a damn good doctor. You’d trained under the best, learned from the best, and kept progressively learning and didn’t stop. You spent years of your life on this because helping people was your passion. It shouldn’t matter where you were placed if you were down here to help for days, months, or years. 

Yet, in the matter of an hour, your mind waded into memories that were better off left for dead with your eyes searching for someone you shouldn’t. 

You didn’t know how to answer him. “Sorry, I should remember where everything is but find myself stuck daydreaming about the past and looking for signs where I shouldn’t and sexually fantasizing about your attending”, didn’t seem appropriate to tell a med student. So, you ended with a weak, “Sorry about that,” which passed for understanding. It made you feel like an ass, but you didn’t trust yourself to speak. 

You came to a stop just a few feet from Dana’s desk. Her back turned to you as she went through folders preparing patient's charts for transfer upstairs. Her eyes shifted up at the board and over to a newer resident you hadn’t met yet. 

Her gaze was fixed on the monitor; eyes scanning rapidly down the chart as if there was a code that needed cracking. You knew that look. It was a shared one you’d no doubt mirrored only an hour ago. 

“What do you need, Fullerton?”

Your head swiveled back to Dana and found her now facing you, her glasses removed, and waiting for your answer. 

“How’d you know it was me?”

“Are you kidding?” The question fell out of her in a chuckle. “You’re the only one I know who goes around taping on every damn surface when they’re thinking. You act like my five-year-old grandson, just less noisy. Barely.”

“That’s offensive,” you pointed out. 

“For who? You or my grandson.”

You felt the first crack in your defenses tug at the corners of your mouth. If you weren’t careful, Dana’s whip-smart comments were going to make you fold back into a routine you hadn’t been a part of in a while. It wasn’t just you who was slipping at this point, and you clocked the moment Dana began to realize it too. 

She was supposed to be upset with you - grumpy, mean remarks only. You were supposed to take them and dish them back so you could comfortably stay in your bubbles of denial and anger. The denial of what, exactly, was achingly easy to see. 

You both missed each other. More than either of you were willing to admit. 

Your reply sat cocked and loaded on your tongue when you remembered what transpired half an hour before. As much as you missed one another, you had to be careful with what you shared around her. It was obvious, whatever the ‘It’ may be, Robby would magically seem to find out. 

“Any quick ones up here? It’s only 8:30, and Robby’s already on my case for being too slow. I can usually at least make it to lunch before he starts hounding me.” 

Your attention swiveled back towards the resident. Her gaze fixed on the board before glancing between Dana and you. Hopefully, her question wasn’t meant for you to answer. You weren’t very good at picking off the board either. 

“Cut him a little slack today, ok? It’s the anniversary of Dr. Adamson’s death.”

Of course, Dana would cover for him. Intercept all incoming rapports of Robby being prickly and sometimes downright mean to bury them under the rug of understanding. 

Yes, it was the anniversary of Adamson’s death. It always would be. Grief wasn’t easy. It was messy and unrelenting in the moments it chose for sights, smells, and touch to materialize memories that recalled moments you wouldn’t get the chance to share with them again. A constant reminder of all that we lost. Time didn’t seal up that cavern their loss created; it just became more manageable over time. 

Robby never coped. Never allowed himself to grieve, heal, and thrive in the good memories he did have. The doubts and guilt haunted him every day in every step, every decision, he made. He housed it inside him like a ghoul in a cemetery feasting on the remains of who he was before Adamson’s death - before the pandemic. 

“That’s sad. But it’s still no reason to take it out on me. I’m just saying.”

You liked her. She got it. You wanted to properly introduce yourself. By the look on Dana’s face, you need to do it quickly before she breaks out into a lecture. Luck wasn’t on your side because Whitaker beat you to the punch. 

You didn’t want to eavesdrop on their conversation but you also didn’t want to go back to having a conversation with Dana, either. It left you the only option of staring back up at the beloved board. You’d just decided on 7 North when Dr. Collins walked by, her hands digging in the glovebox on the wall to retrieve a pair. Her eyes were on Whitaker and yours were on her. 

It wasn’t a secret that Robby and Heather had dated. Well, maybe to those in the Pitt, and not including Perlah or Princess because they suspiciously seemed to be psychic. Or just really loved to gossip. No, you’d learned about them when a friend spotted Robby and Heather out on a date. You’d only assumed it was a date because she repeatedly kept using the word cozy. 

And why should you have cared? It’d been almost a year since you’d left. You chose to leave and that meant making him free to date and find new love or whatever. You didn’t have a right to lay claim to him just because he’d been yours. And Heather? She was gorgeous. She was fucking brilliant, with a beautiful smile, and it suddenly made you feel uncharacteristically subconscious. 

Whether it’d been a date or they just seemed cozy (it was a damn date) you shouldn’t have felt jealous. You were fine. It was perfectly fine and healthy for people to seek out relationships and companionship. It was normal and you were fine. You weren’t any saint either. You’d dated someone briefly and, if you were honest with yourself, you could’ve stayed in that relationship. It was nice and easy. Simple. But you didn’t love him and you weren’t sure if you ever could. 

The problem of loving Robby - still being in love with Robby - was that he stood witness to your most intimate memories of love. There were stories woven into your bones that bore witness to the man he was and how he loved you. They were told in joy and tragedy, laughter and sadness. When Nathan kissed you, the earth kept spinning. He didn’t taste of bourbon or smell of leather and sandalwood. He didn’t spend time in the backyard sanding down tables or staining decks. He didn’t wear glasses that somehow slid minute by minute inch down his nose until he subconsciously tilted his head back to see.

In the end, you left because of one glaring fact: Nathan would never be - could never be - Robby.  

Dr. Collins told Whitaker to come with her for a teaching experience - an unconscious unhoused man was being brought in. Whitaker quickly moved to follow her lead in grabbing a pair of gloves just in time for the paramedics to wheel in the gurney. Said man was very much unconscious and appeared very much unhoused. 

Your time playing the gawking bystander had come to an end and you needed to get to 7 North. You pushed away from the counter when you were stopped by the resident from earlier barreling into your line of sight. 

“Dr. Fullerton? I’m Dr. Samira Mohan - R3. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Dr. Mohan stuck out her hand and you accepted it warmly. Besides the obvious annoyance from Robby hounding her existence, it seemed Dr. Mohan was friendly. She held a kind air about her that reminded you of Robby - only now that kindness held an edge of grumpiness because his empathy was playing an overwhelming game. By the sleepless bags under his eyes, you could tell he was losing. 

You wanted to point the probability of this out to her, maybe offer her a consultation for Robby’s apparent hard-ass demeanor, but quickly shoved it off. 

“It’s nice to meet you, as well, Dr. Mohan.”

“Would it be okay if I could confer with you later?” Dr. Mohan’s eyes shifted to where Dana stood only inches away. “In private?”

You weren’t sure if you should be flattered or wanting to run for the hills. Dana’s eyes practically bore into the back of your head, waiting to hear your answer. You knew no matter what you chose to say this was getting back to Robby. 

Fuck it. 

“Of course, Dr. Mohan. I’ll come and find you after my next patient.”

“Thank you. I look forward to speaking with you.” 

She cut a cautious glance over her shoulder and turned on her heel towards the south hallway. It must have been nice to make an easy exit. It was definitely something you were down to try but Dana stood closer to the counter, her glasses down the bridge of her nose, and accused you with a look of being a troublemaker. Your only defense was a shrug. 

“What?”

“What the hell was that about?”

Your brows converged together as you shrugged again. 

“How am I supposed to know, Dana? I haven’t even talked to her yet.” 

“Talked to who about what?”

Fucking kill me. 

What was with today? Were you unknowingly walking around with a ‘Kick Me,’ sign written by life? You’d gone over two years without ever running into Robby and within an hour in a half, you couldn’t seem to avoid him. 

And why was he standing so fucking close again? 

You didn’t need to glance over to your left to know he was close. The heat of his body, the nudge of his elbow against your arm informed you at breakneck speed you were close. Too fucking close, Michael. 

“Mohan seems to want to speak with Fullerton. In private.”

“You couldn’t just wait for me to answer, Dana?”

The words rose up your throat like bile, acidic with its irritation. You couldn’t help it. You didn’t need this shit. You didn’t know what Dr. Mohan wanted but the cryptic way she asked wasn’t doing you any favors. It was at this moment you finally chose to look in Robby’s direction. He was leaning into his elbow that rested on the counter. Even with his body slightly slouched the height difference was substantial causing you to crane to look up at him. 

The problem with this? He was close enough that your temporal lobe was overloaded with thousands of memories of his thumb gliding across your lips. Large hands taking hold of your neck and tilting you back at just the right angle for his lips to claim yours. 

When you were no longer held hostage to the sensory manipulation your brain concocted, you prayed to whoever was listening that you didn’t look as lovestruck as you felt. By the dark glint in Robby’s eyes, you were doing a piss poor job at being Switzerland. 

“What? So you can conveniently disappear by the end of the shift without any context or explanation? No, thanks. Been there. Done that. Not a fan of the outcome.”

“This bipolar verbal assault is getting real tiring, Dana,” you huffed. 

“Alright. Alright, enough!” Robby cut in. “I expect this behavior from patients, not my staff. Now, Dr. Fullerton, what did Dr. Mohan want to discuss with you?”

“Jesus Christ,” you sighed, “I have no fucking clue, okay? She just asked if she could speak in private and seeing as how she did ask for it to be private, I don’t see why you need to know.” 

“Ugh,” a dry huff of what might have passed for a laugh - a cough maybe? - exited his lips. His brow was drawn tight while he looked at you. No doubt wondering where you’d gained the audacity. “Because this is my emergency department. I’m in charge of the entire thing and I think I need to be aware of what is going on with my staff.” 

“Well, maybe if you stopped acting like an ass to said staff they wouldn’t be seeking outside counsel.”

A mirthless laugh exploded from between his lips. The sound carried part of the disbelief his eyes showed while he took you in. He was no longer leaning against the counter but had his arms crossed against his chest. You weren’t sure if he was looking at you like he wanted to throttle you or found you unbelievable. Neither option would make you a winner if you guessed right.

“You gotta be fucking kidding me,” he grumbled under his breath. “Are you a fucking counselor all of a sudden?”

“And what if I was? I would ask if you’d require my services, but we both know you’re allergic to seeking help.” 

You should’ve stopped while you were ahead. You were bringing up personal shit - inviting a possible fucking mess to happen - and yet you couldn’t help yourself. You kept poking the proverbial bear and damn it, you weren’t exactly sure you felt bad about doing it. Were you so desperate for a reaction from him - after all this time? What the hell was it going to prove? 

You watched the storm of emotions roll in. The deep set of his forehead and the dark clouds that zapped all residual warmth from his eyes. You weren’t sure if Robby was even aware he’d taken a step towards you, jaw flexing, and body slowly seeping into whatever free space you had left. 

Whatever words he would’ve said died in the aftermath of hearing shouts a few rooms down. It jarred you both out of your staring contest and sent him into action. One minute he was standing in front of you, the next, he was running to see what the commotion was. 

The second Robby was removed from your space, you took a deep breath in. Why did it feel like you were in a constant state of fight or flight? Your answer came in a set of blue eyes who homed in on you the moment Robby was gone. 

“When’s your next smoke break?” 

“Who says I still smoke?” 

“Dana, be serious. The day you quit smoking is the day hell freezes over. So - when?”

She regarded you for a moment. The scale in her mind no doubt weighed if this was going to be worth her time or possibly ruining her nicotine break. 

“I usually take it around 9:30. Why? You suddenly have the urge to open up?”

“Do you want to talk or not?.”

She could bitch, make jokes, and moan and groan all she wanted. You knew offering up a chance to talk would be all Dana would need to agree. Was it something you honestly wanted to do? Not really. Were you willing to do it so that at least you had one less person hounding you the rest of your shift? 

Abso-fucking-lutely.

“Ah, what the hell. I’ll see you on break kid.” 

A sigh of relief eased through you and you prayed Dana hadn’t noticed. You didn’t think she’d agree but, now that she had, you had a tiny ounce of hope this day wasn’t going to be so much of a shit show. 

“What was all that screaming about?”

You knew the question wasn’t directed at you. Robby must have made his return and the soft laughter wasn’t what you expected to hear. 

“We seem to have involuntarily just admitted rats,” he replied. 

“You’re kidding?” Dana scoffed. 

“If only I was. Whitaker was saying it was about three or four of them.” 

“And on that note,” you drummed your hands on the counter, “I am going to 7 North.” 

It wasn’t until you went to take a step forward you noticed the weight on your left foot. A weight that felt like something was sitting directly on it. You looked down just in time to watch a rat - a damn rat - scurry off your foot to run around the edge of the nursing station. 

What you did next wasn’t your proudest moment. You even used to pride yourself on being rational when it came to rodents. The shout that clawed its way from the depths of your stomach proved you wrong at lightning speed. 

You felt your body jump backward and collide with Robby. His hands were on your hips to steady you. You were bouncing back and forth on your heels, eyes scanning the area to make sure no further surprises snuck up on you. Your arms were bunched up at your sides and you were trying to talk yourself down from sweeping the remaining area with your leg. Just for good measure.

It was the feeling of his hands on your waist, the soft sound of his chuckle touching your hair that brought you careening back down to earth. Robby was close. Not like last time when your arms touched - closer than when he followed behind you into Allan's room. Even through your scrubs, you could feel the scorching heat of his palms spreading like wildfire through the fabric that sent your heart racing. 

He should’ve let go by now. The threat of you possibly knocking him over or you both tripping and falling was over. He could let go. He could just let go, but Robby’s hands were holding you firmly in place with neither of you willing to move. You refused to look behind you - afraid of what he might see if you did.

You were afraid of what you might see if you dared to look too. 

Slowly, you took a step forward, disengaging his hands from you. The sensation of loss was instant and you almost stepped back into him. Your body and mind were at war between desire and being rational. Fuck being rational. There was nothing rational about the way your heart brutalized your ribs. The need to ask stupid fucking questions that no longer mattered. The consuming way your body craved for him to wrap his large hand around your throat, whispering words of filth into your ear. 

You had to get away before you made a mistake. 

“Sorry about that. I’m going to just, ugh, go do my rounds now.”

You didn’t turn around while you softly spoke. You may have been delusional at times, but you weren’t crazy. If you looked back and Robby’s eyes gave away any hint of emotion - anything that sparked that dying ember of hope inside you - you would crumble. 

You should’ve fought harder to stay upstairs in family medicine or threatened Gloria with firing you. You were safer there. Now, you were rushing off to remember what patient room you were going to with Robby’s cologne clinging to your skin. 

You were a pain in the ass. But you were his pain in the ass. 

Used to be, his mind reminded him. 

Could still be, came his stupid heart's reply. 

Robby used to love it when you challenged him; called him out on his bullshit. You weren’t afraid to stand in the current of his disapproval or to openly have a debate, especially when you could see he was missing something. You challenged each other to be open-minded to change, because it happened so fast, and to accept that being wrong wasn’t failure but a moment to grow and learn. 

When you both stopped being open with one another, and being honest with yourselves, was when the challenging energy took a turn. Everything felt like a confrontation. Even in moments when the constructive criticism came from colleagues - from you - it felt like an attack he had to defend against. 

Robby saw it in you too. The small hints of walls slowly being built to keep the inquiries at bay. When your responses become short and brief or not at all. 

Now, before nine o’clock, you were in the Pitt not only wreaking havoc on his already fragile mental state but accusing him of…what? When you’d thrown the counselor's comment at him, Robby wanted to rage. How many times was it the main part of your arguments near the end of your relationship that he needed to talk to somebody? Anybody. How many times did he deny it? 

You’d thrown it in from the sidelines and it jarred him so much, Robby felt disoriented. For the briefest moment, Robby forgot that you were no longer together. His mind reflexively thought you were arguing about the same old tired thing. He’d taken a step toward you and wanted to ask, “And what about you?” 

You who wasn’t as honest and open with yourself just like him. There were things left unsaid between the two of you - the things that eventually buried the hatchet too far in to safely remove. 

What about all the times he’d found you in the bathroom sitting against the tub crying in the middle of the night? Your panic attacks and OCD tendencies that started after…

Every time Robby reached out to be there for you, your response was always the same. 

“It’s nothing, Michael.”  “I’m fine.”  “I said I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sure, Robby wasn’t open and was guarded in his own right but neither were you. Where he used to read the transcript of your emotions so delicately on your face, you’d closed yourself off to him and he no longer knew how to get in. 

An angry shout from down the South hallway thankfully tore his attention back to reality. His feet were already moving him robotically forward where he could see Olson entering Central 15. 

“Whoa, whoa what is going on?”

Robby directed the question specifically to one of his many team members in the room. Thankfully, Kiara started to explain or, more appropriately attempted to explain but he couldn’t fucking think through all the damn shouting. 

“Ok, ok, okay ENOUGH!” Robby couldn’t believe he was already raising his voice. Yelling at grown-ass adults like they were children. “This is a hospital. This isn’t ‘ The Jerry Springer Show’.” Although it was really, really starting to fucking feel like it with the morning he was having. “Ma’am, nobody’s trying to take your child. So why don’t you stay here with him while your husband talks to our social worker outside and straightens all this out?”

“Well, I don’t want him speaking for me and my son.”

It was clear by the wavering of her voice, that this was a tough spot for the mom to be in. Robby could sympathize but what he couldn’t sympathize with was starting a miniature war zone in one of his rooms. 

“Well, it is either you or him. Your son is not leaving, but you can be escorted out and even arrested if you refuse to cooperate. Nobody wants that. So you tell us. What do you want to do?”

Robby knew the answer before she replied. There wasn’t a doubt in his mind that this mother didn’t fiercely love her son. Whatever situation the husband did to get them in this position was unfortunate, but the only option they had now was to press forward. 

“I’m staying with my son.”

“Ok, great. You do that. Are we all on the same page here?”

The last question he sent out was rhetorical. A feeler to see if anyone else was confused about what was about to happen and if further clarification was needed. God, Robby sincerely hoped it’d all been made crystal clear what the only two real options were; the only choice being to cooperate. 

“You okay?”

Robby could see Langdon was shaken up. It could be a lot dealing with a combative patient - harder when it was a parent just trying to make the right choices for their child. You were always the best at coming in and soothing cases like this one. Somehow able to give relief and comfort while giving the most gut-wrenching news of a parent's life while calmly explaining the next steps. You were able to keep people from feeling lost in the bad news and prepare them for the onslaught of change. 

Robby waited until Langdon confirmed he and Dr. King were good before he walked out of the room. Regarding parents with kids, Robby almost forgot Teresa asked to speak with him about David. 

Central 12 was just a few steps away from Langdon’s patient. It was close to being comfortable but too close to give Robby time to think. He felt out of his element here because he was running out of options. He wanted to help Teresa, because, while she did this to help her son, she knowingly put her own life at risk to get him the help he needed. 

But isn’t that what parents did?  

At times, they blindly waded into the fire if it meant that their child would be safe. 

All Robby could do was watch and listen while he told her about how he left. While he followed up her questions with his own and did his best to try and ward off the sick feeling burying itself inside his gut. 

“Do you think David would hurt anyone?”

Even allowing the question to come out of his mouth made a rush of nausea swell back behind his tongue. He didn’t want to ask it. Nobody wants to ask any parent if they think their child - a fucking child - could be capable of harming another human being. 

Robby carried his thoughts on the reasons why young men are more prone to violence these days. With idiotic podcast hosts spewing their hatred for women who were goal-oriented and not focused on babying them like their mothers. Boys who were told to bottle up their emotions: “Don’t share your feelings. Don’t get caught crying,” unless you want to be told that you were weak. There was so much bullshit in the world for kids to have to contend with these days that Robby didn’t find it surprising a lot of them were overloaded - overwhelmed by a constant flurry from the world to be someone different than who they are. 

Robby had plenty of talks with Jake about these things. He found it easy to lean into him with the both of them connecting during shared trips and quiet nights at the house. Robby made sure his stepson knew that Robby would always be a safe place for him to land. When the world got too crazy and if he couldn’t tell his mom Janey, Robby would be there. 

Because that’s what parents do - willingly walk through fire if it meant their kid would be okay.

“The nasal swab came back negative for COVID, RSV, and Flu - which is a good thing.” 

“Then what’s wrong? What about her eyes?”

The her in question was a three-year-old named Jasmine who was vocally letting you both know that she was not in a good mood, which was very fair. Nobody liked being sick. The only issue with her actively voicing her bad mood was that any high octave screams were soon followed up by a violent cough. 

The moment you stepped inside the room you’d been worried about RSV, especially because of her age. Lungs sounded clear with slight wheezing indicated in the upper left lobe. Thankfully, all major possible viruses came back negative. The unfortunate thing was that this specific viral infection just meant mom was going to have to ride it out.

“It’s still a viral infection. The conjunctivitis, since it started coming from both eyes this morning, it’s from the infection and sinus blockage. The whites of her eyes aren’t red in any way. The best thing to do is apply a compress every few hours on the eyes to help with drainage, saline drops, or spray on the nose to help clear up the congestion and suction as often as you can. Over-the-counter cough medicine is fine unless you need a prescription?”

“No, no, it’s okay. We have some at home. So, she’s okay?”

“Yes, perfectly fine. I just recommend having her sleep elevated to help with drainage and if you have a humidifier, use it. Follow up with her pediatrician in two to three days or come back to the ER if any new or persistent symptoms occur.”

“Thank you so much, doctor.”

“You’re so welcome. Make sure to wait for a nurse before leaving. I hope you feel better, Jasmine.”

 You gave them both a wave before exiting out of the quiet of the room and back into the noise. The nurse assigned to the room came over and held out a tablet and pen for you to take. Quickly, you scribbled a signature down, because doctors were notoriously known for sketchy penmanship, and began to walk towards a nursing station. 

Technically, you did have a second option you could take before throwing yourself into the next patient room. Dr. Mohan asked to speak with you. She didn’t necessarily give a time or a preference. It was more focused on secrecy, which you found a little odd. This was Pittsburgh Medical Trauma Center - it was a rare thing to have a private conversation here. You were curious to find out what it was Mohan wanted, a bigger part of you wasn’t ready for the headache of Robby undoubtedly finding out later. The worst option: is if you were the one who had to tell him to be the advocate for his resident.

The scent of his cologne still held tight to the fabric of your scrubs. Slowly, it was beginning to fade but if you leaned in close enough to your right shoulder you could almost get a hint of -

“Dr. Fullerton.”

You were a millisecond away from calling out, “I wasn’t doing anything!”. Was it too early in the shift to consider a name change?

Glancing over your shoulder, you find Gloria making her way towards you. Each step in your direction sent your fight or flight raging back into gear because fuck no. Between Gloria and Robby, the two of them were about to have you so damn stressed out there was a high chance for premature balding to occur. 

“Oh no. I’ve had enough surprises from you today.”

“I just wanted to have a chat - “

“And definitely enough of those,” you shot back. 

You weren’t exactly sure why you kept moving. If previous experiences told you anything, it was that she would follow you until you stopped on your own or she got you into a corner. At least stopping to face her was a choice compared to being cornered with no way out. 

Resigning to your fate, you took in a big meditative breath through your nose and turned around. 

“What can I help you with, Gloria?”

Your voice was so monotone you sounded like a robot. 

“I’m glad you’ve decided to stop running and actually talk to me like an adult.”

“I’m sorry, Gloria. You brought me down here to assist in decreasing triage wait times and that is what I am doing. Stopping to have a chat with you will reflect poorly on my scores.”

“Cute,” She bit back. The smile on her face was too harsh to be genuine. “Well, it’s funny you mention scores. I’ve been keeping an eye on the numbers and the system is showing barely any signs of process or improvement. Can you explain why that is?”

The simplest answer you could’ve given her came with one name, one word, and one human being. Robby. Robby was your fucking problem; the bane of your existence. 

Gloria shoved you down here not knowing all the variables that could hinder productivity. There were moments of clarity where your brilliance shined through and in a matter of seconds it evaporated again. Realistically, it was your fault. Your inability to control your stupid fucking emotions - you didn’t need to react every time you saw him. 

How could you not react when Robby did exactly the same? 

You weren’t stupid. You’d spent years, months, days, and hours with him. Every minute is accounted for in conversations and touch. It wasn’t insanity (although the jury was still out on that one) that made you believe - to fucking notice - Robby was affected too. 

But no way in hell were you divulging any of your innermost thought demons to Gloria. 

“Look around, Gloria,” you said, arms opening up to motion around the Central rooms. “There are no beds available. You ask for solid care, for good patient satisfaction scores and that requires multiple factors. To be a good doctor you have to listen to the patient's chief complaint that they’ve been waiting almost eight hours to tell you.”

“I am well aware of the current wait times in triage, Dr. Fullerton.”

“Oh, that’s awesome. Problem solved then because once we assess them and decide they need monitoring and tests to ascertain the issue, it’s only another three to six-hour wait. Maybe longer if it’s life-threatening. Not to mention if any trauma patients come rolling through the red zone adding another twenty-five to fifty minutes on their time.”

“I don’t see what any of this has to do with not having any beds. Not every situation in triage necessarily requires a bed to be seen.”

“Gloria, your precious Press Ganey scores are going to stay low if a patient doesn’t get back to a room. You can make beds available by sending people upstairs or how about removing the deceased guy in nineteen who’s been posted here since before I arrived?” 

“Robby is in charge of contacting the coroner's office about picking up the deceased.”

“And yet, the body is still here,” you pondered. “I know Robby, Gloria. He wouldn’t knowingly leave someone’s loved one here if it didn’t mean the coroner is backed up, which means our morgue must house him until then. And why are you complaining to me like I'm attending here? Robby is the attending - “

“I’m well aware of that - “

“You keep saying you’re well aware, Gloria but the fact is it feels like you’re not. It’s easy to come down here making demands but the reality is without the proper staffing and moving boarders out of the emergency department to free up space the numbers will never fucking change. Sending one doctor down here isn’t going to change shit.”

“Are you just about done, Dr. Fullerton?” She did a dramatic pause to allow you time to cut in. “The board and its administration are well aware of the pressures that staff face down here in the emergency department - that all hospitals are currently facing shortages. The fact of the matter is studies show close to seventy-five percent of ER visits are non-life threatening, which means more than half of those patients could be fairly seen in triage without needing a room.”

You could feel your mouth opening; primed for a response that Gloria was not going to let you detonate. Her hand waved to warn you not to cut her off. 

“I don't want to hear any more about boarding or staffing. I want to see the results, Dr. Fullerton. It’s already bad enough that there are rats inside.”

“To be fair, they piggybacked on an unconscious unhoused man, so,” you shrugged. If looks could kill, you’d have dropped dead right then and there. “Not helpful?”

“No. Not helpful,” she confirmed. “I do, however, have a proposition for you.”

You sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth. The earlier annoyance at seeing Gloria twice in less than two hours of your shift changed course. Dread ice cold and paralyzing coiled in the pit of your stomach. You didn’t like where this was going. 

“Is there a pass option?”

“This is an offer from myself and the administration. So, no, there isn’t a ‘pass option.’ How would you like to be considered for an attending position?”

“No.” 

The word barreled out of you without thinking. You didn’t need to think about this proposition Gloria, the administration, or whoever was trying to dangle in front of you. It was any doctor's dream to become an attending at a facility - it made you the doctor. 

You didn’t want it like this. 

“You didn’t even hear the terms.”

“I don’t need to hear them to know that you’re trying to be sneaky.”

“Robby is failing to meet standards -“

“Robby is a fucking good physician.” You fumed. “He’s one of the best physicians in trauma medicine you have here outside of Abbot.”

“No one is disputing that, Dr. Fullerton. The board is open to having you both down here during the morning shift, maybe even making a swing shift for you to help between shifts.”

You raked your hands over your face scrubbing hard to try and cut off a mirthless laugh that came out in patches between your fingers. 

“No - you want me to be a Judas. It’ll be a swing shift until you can get whatever data you need to confirm whatever fucked up plan you’re making.”

“Dr. Fullerton -“

“No!” You didn’t mean to shout the word at her. Or maybe you had. Whatever it was, it surprised you both. You should be quieter - don’t draw attention but your heart was thrashing wildly. Your hand swiped through the air to cut her off before she could attempt to continue. You didn’t want to fucking hear it. “Robby is a damn fine physician and to try and - I don’t fucking know, get rid of him because he doesn’t kiss the boards or your ass is fucking stupid. I don’t know half of what Robby or Abbot knows. I’m not them and it would be beyond idiotic to lose him.”

“Your opinion will be taken into consideration and I’ll dismiss your…outburst, for now, because of the current situation. But make no mistake, Dr. Fullerton this will move forward with, or without, you.”

You wondered if any natural disasters were named Gloria. It seemed possible since she came and created an instant upheaval of your day, completely devastating it in a matter of minutes and once she was done simply went about her day like nothing happened.  

She left you to deal with the aftermath. The rushing thoughts with a million questions - thousands of things you should’ve said to defend Robby. There were dozens of ways you could prove her wrong about him - that he fucking cared about his patients and was such a damn good doctor, phenomenal at times, that to equate all that he was and all that he did down to a simple metric of numbers was fucking ridiculous. 

All the sound in the room began to drown out around you. Somewhere in the background of the hum you heard a shout for help. It could be Code Blue. It could be anything. You tried to get your body to react, but the hurricane of anxiety was sweeping in fast and you were running out of air. 

You needed to sit. You had to act normal because the last thing you needed was Princess or Dana or fucking anybody else coming over to speak with you. Your hands used the counter like a rope to pull you along to the nearest computer. You quickly sat down and swiped your credentials to enter the computer, quickly clicking on anything just to appear busy. 

“How are you holding up today?”

The last person you expected to see at that very moment was Heather Collins. What did you expect? This was an emergency room and doctors worked inside of it. She offered up a close-lipped smile that matched the kindness in her eyes. She was genuinely wanting to know how you were doing and for the first time, you hated the question because you couldn’t answer it. 

Not truthfully, anyway. Who was ever truthful in answering that specific question?

So, you painted on a grin that more than likely resembled a grimace and prayed you didn’t look as tired as you felt. 

“It’s been…an adjustment.”

“What’s taking adjusting?”

Good god, this man was fucking everywhere. 

Robby came into view as he moved across the station to get to the opposite computer. The question was thrown out carelessly; he didn’t expect a response. He was pulling out his glasses and sliding them over his nose, his full focus on the screen. Test results thankfully took priority over your response. 

You were quickly forgotten by Collin’s who walked over to where Robby read the test results. She waited until he removed his glasses and stood to his full height. 

“Please don’t tell me you are going to intubate that poor old man?”

“It’s what the family wants.”

“So what? They want to torture him?”

“I explained all that.” 

It was painfully obvious this was a case you knew nothing about. By the sound of it, you were willing to bet five dollars that it was one of the elderly patients from a home who came in a little after 7:30 that morning. It meant it wasn’t your case. You didn’t need to know the information and you could continue counting down backward from ten while you reminded yourself that no, you weren’t Judas and -

“Dr. Fullerton, if a family came in -“

Fucking hell, you needed to stop zoning out. You brought your attention back to the two of them, wondering what you missed.

“You don’t need to ask her,” Robby interjected.

Collins continued like he’d never spoken. 

“And they had durable power over an elderly family member who had a pre-existing DNR. His family wants to intubate. It’s not what he wants. Whose choice do you honor?”

“What are you doing?” 

A singular brow of hers arched in defiance. 

“Asking for a second opinion.”

“I didn’t ask for one.”

They continued to bicker about the decision Robby made to not fight for a dying man’s wishes. You would’ve told Collins to let it go because once Robby’s mind was made up, it was like talking to a wall. Maybe she already knew that. 

God, what fucking twilight zone episode were you stuck in? You actively wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. Your eyes darted to the time on the bottom of the screen and you had to fight to keep your forehead from landing with a thud on the keyboard. It was only 9 o’clock. There were ten more hours of this day and you needed it to be over. 

Robby released a sigh that reflected how exhausted you felt. It wasn’t a physical exhaustion but one of the soul; a weariness that vines grew thorns and were beginning to tear you slowly open. You could feel your legs wanting to shift out of the chair and go to him. The urge was so strong your hands scrunched into fists to keep from moving - to quell the urge because he wasn’t yours anymore and you weren’t his. 

“Shit.”

“What?”

Robby’s best magic trick? Deflecting. Whenever he wanted the current conversation to end, and didn't like where it was heading, he diverted it completely into something else. Anything else that kept him from having to continue down a conversation he wanted no part of. You knew that trick all too well. 

“I got to go tell those parents their 18-year-old son is brain-dead.” 

“You want me to go with you?”

It should’ve been you offering to go with him. A comfort to the harbinger of bad news because it was never easy to give it. Never easy to stand in the storm of grief and simply be a bystander while their world ends in a matter of words. 

What did it matter who went with him? Who offered? At the end of the day, a family was forever going to be encapsulated by a loss too many people unfortunately knew. 

Vaguely, you caught the end of their argument. Robby wanted to perform an apnea test and a cerebral perfusion study. Dr. Collins didn’t agree. It offered the family false hope but Robby was right - maybe it did offer a false sense of hope, but with each test completed and results read off it was a graceful way to ease a family into acceptance. It gave them the time to process and grieve and come to the very heavy realization their son wouldn’t be going home with them. 

“They need time to process before they can accept what’s happening.”

“You ever consider taking that advice? Physician, heal thyself.”

Dear floor, please fucking open up wide so you can just swan dive right on in. Thanks a bunch. 

Heather knew. She fucking knew about the wall of grief - of acceptance - Robby himself was unable to accept. The King of dishing out advice left and right but unyielding in taking it. Suddenly, all the cool reserve of not caring about them dating evaporated in a crushing wave of heartbreak you shouldn’t have felt in the first place. 

Did he tell her about you? Did he share with her about…about what happened? Was he able to open up to her in ways he stopped doing with you? Their relationship was gone, but the respect and care were still there. 

The irritation came off him in waves. You should’ve told her Robby’s least favorite thing is being told to take his own advice. Or to heal for that matter. Oh, and to also maybe seek therapy. All three of those would turn his mood sour and aggravate him to peak levels at hyper speed. 

He shoved his hands down into his hoodie. His head swiveling between Collins and probably anywhere else in the ED. 

“Don’t you have patients?” 

There it was. The dismissal. The, in not so many words, “I’m done talking to you about this and everything else,” so he could make a quick exit. The magician's last trick before his temper was lost. 

Don’t look up. Do not look up. Don’t fucking do it. 

You didn’t need to look up. There wasn’t any reason to do so. You weren’t on their radar the last half of their conversation. You were just a bystander to a miniature car crash. The issue with crashes? Everyone who drove by couldn’t stop themselves from looking. 

The itch between your shoulder blades was your first warning sign. The weight of his gaze was bearing down on you. You didn’t have to react to it but it was a reflex to look up for him. To search for him in every crowded room and find yourself wishing he was there when he wasn’t. 

Your eyes found he was still looking at you. An in-house debate flashed across his features. If it was whether or not to come to you, you hope he chose not to. You just need a few moments of space. It was too much. You’d run from him and now he was just here all the time and -

“Why are you looking at puppies? You getting a dog?”

“What?”

For the first time since you’d opened the computer, you realized whoever was on it last left it open to an ad for a puppy. 

“Oh, no. This wasn’t me. Hey, earlier did someone shout a Code Blue?” 

You could also perform your own magical change of subjects. Robby took a moment to answer before giving a curt nod. 

“Whittaker’s patient that’d been placed in the hall. If you heard it, why didn’t you go assist? All hands on deck for a code, you know that.”

God, was he chastising you right now? A flood of irritation rippled over your skin. You wanted to snap at him. You weren’t a med student. But he was frustratingly right - you’d heard it and instead of running you’d kept yourself here. 

And Whitaker. It was his first patient of the day. He’d been so excited that he’d done good. He’d gotten praise from Dr. Robby about his work up and Whitaker wouldn’t shut up about it. It meant something to him. 

“I’ll go see if they need someone to switch.”

You went to get up but Robby was too close. If you got up from the chair you would bump straight into his chest. 

“You okay?”

The sudden care behind the question jarred you. How did he expect you to answer? There was no way you could be honest with him - not at that second. He was supposed to go break the worst news a parent could ever receive and he was worried about you. He should be worried for himself. You could warn him about Gloria but what good would it do if he thought you might possibly be in on it with her? Your sudden reappearance, while inconvenient, hadn’t raised suspicion like an ulterior motive waited in the wings just yet. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m good. You?”

“Never better.”

His smile held every worn line of fatigue that signaled his lack of sleep. His attempt at strength in a moment he refused to seek outside help. You found the same words Dr. Collins asked moments before crawling their way up your throat before you swallowed them back down. He wouldn’t change his mind and agree just because it was you. 

You wanted to be there because whether he voiced it or not, this kid whose family was seconds away from being told was gone wasn’t that much older than Jake. A single accident of taking non-prescribed Xanax ended his life. Jake was a good kid. You wanted to reach out and take his hand and tell him Jake would never - Jake was different. 

Jake was still a kid. 

Robby didn’t wait for you to reply before he headed towards the room. You kept telling yourself to get up and move. Go find Whitaker and the team performing cpr on his patient and do your part. Between everything that’s happened this morning: being forced down with Robby, seeing Robby, Dr. Mohan requesting to speak with you, Gloria’s ultimatum and now the news this young kid didn’t make it you were officially mentally exhausted. 

You needed to move but by the time your legs finally lifted out of the seat, Robby told them. The mother’s wail of agony resounded through the room and rose in octaves. The soul-wrenching loss of her child, her baby, turned the Pitt into a mausoleum of mourning. Her cries followed you down the hallway until you reached the curtain where Whitaker and others were on their third round of Epi, and you could see the continued despair evident in the room. 

It was barely 9 AM and you already wanted to fucking go home. 

As always, thank you so much for reading! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3

Tag list: @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange @travelingmypassion @jupiter-sky @catsgoogander @rosiepoise88 @It-jakeseresin @blackpopcorn @celmentine111002 @dcgoddess

No one as sweet as you

Stucky/Fem!Reader

Explicit | ~9.4k

When you’re hurt by your boyfriend you go to the two people you can depend on for anything, Steve and Bucky, your best friends.

This is set while they were living together in college. It focuses on their relationship and how Bucky and Steve started to develop feelings for Sweets as more than just their best friend.

Steve's break-up

Teen | ~1k

Bucky's break-up

Mature | ~1.7k

Reader's break-up

Teen | 1.9k

Realization

Stucky

Explicit | 1.6k

Steve/Sweets | Explicit

Moodboard and banners done by me.

night vision - chapter 1

michael robinavitch x f!reader

Summary: While dr. Frank Langdon is away while seeking treatment for his drug addiction, you're plucked from the loving arms of the night shift in order to replace him inside the crushing jaws of the day shift in the Pitt. Being a nocturnal creature with a closed-off personality, it's hard to adjust at first, especially when you're no longer working alongside your mentor (and father figure of sorts), dr. Jack Abbot. However, you slowly start to grow on the day shift's attending doctor, and it's up to Robby if he'll stay away from you to protect his heart, or if he'll give in to something that's bigger than a workplace crush.

Tags: the pitt spoilers!!!, female reader-insert; jewish!reader (fyi: anyone can be jewish, and I'm planning to write the reader without any physical descriptions other than wearing glasses), age gap (reader's in her mid-20's/early 30s), slow burn, angst, fluff, eventual smut (minors do not interact), smoking, reader did not outgrow her goth phase, this is a shameless self-insert bc I cannot stop thinking about this old man and his sad brown eyes, not beta read (we die like leah)

wordcount: fuck me if I know but this is long

A/N: this will be a multi-chapter fic, although it will take me awhile to update it since college does not allow me to live, i.e i should be studying but here I am, writing fanfiction. hope you enjoy it!!

Apparently, being yelled at and being told to fuck off worked for Frank Langdon.

Because when Robby showed up for work after his last shift at 7 a.m, he was ambushed by Gloria and nearly dragged to a meeting between them and Langdon in her office (or the ivory tower, how Robby likes to call it: far from the masses and looking down on the lowly peasants).

Here's your second chance. 30-day inpatient treatment program, followed by random urine tests, 50 to 60 a year, followed by mandatory NA meetings three to four times a week for the first three years.

Robby had a hard time looking in Frank's eyes, but the resident knew that, in time, Michael would forgive him. He had to.

"And who's gonna cover for him while he's in the program?" Robby sighed before asking Gloria, one hand around his backpack strap, the other shoved inside the pocket of his hoodie.

"I've already asked doctor Abbot to assign one of his senior residents to the day shift for the next thirty days." Gloria answered him somewhat nonchalantly. "She'll be here within the hour."

"Great. If there's nothing else, I have to get to work." Robby looked at Gloria and Frank and decided in the last second not to be that cruel with Langdon, stopping in his tracks before turning to his senior resident.

With a huff and a nod, he added, "Frank. I... hope you get the help you need. You're a great doctor, and this is how you don't lose your license. Get better, and your work will be waiting here for you."

Langdon looked beyond exhausted. Ashamed, sad, embarrassed, if the bags under his eyes were any indication; a diametrically opposite look on the doctor who was used to be so sure of himself. He only nodded in response, not trusting his voice not to break down if he answered Robby.

"Gloria."

"Robinavitch."

The driest goodbyes were exchanged between the physician and the chief medical officer, and the elevator trip way down to the Pitt was a long one. Robby mentally counted the night shift ED staff.

Shen, Ellis, Abbot, Walsh... who the fuck was supposed to cover for Langdon?

-

The day before, 3:57pm

You felt like throwing your phone against the wall when your ringtone woke you up from the most glorious nap you've had in a long time.

"Leave me alone, old man," you sleepily answered Jack's call.

"Is that the way to talk to to your boss?", he reprimanded you, but you could hear his smile on the other side of the phone.

"What do you need, Jack? Want me to come earlier?" You rubbed the sleep off your eyes, stifling a yawn. Otherwise, Jack would tease you forever.

"Actually, you're gonna take the night off. I just left a meeting with Gloria, and she needs someone to cover for one of the day shift senior residents for the next month."

Abbot could hear your unsatisfied groan.

"And it's gotta be me? Can't Shen or Parker do it?"

"You've been putting off day shifts for far too long and you know it."

"Uhhh, have I?"

"Cute. I'll see you at seven a.m. tomorrow. Rest as much as you can."

"See you tomorrow, then. Have a not so bad shift, Jack."

He hung up the phone, and your lack of further questions did not surprise him. You were notoriously known to avoid drama in your workplace like it was the plague, even though you weren't exactly antisocial. You frequently hung out with Ellis and Shen, co-workers that you actually were friends with, and Jack was something of a father figure to you since your first year as a resident in the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Hospital.

Just like him, you sported a no-nonsense workstyle, keeping your head down and doing the best you can. Abbot helped you overcome your insecurities as an ER physician, and you did not grow to be a cocky or arrogant doctor throughout the years he took you under his wing, even if you were aloof sometimes. Jack saw in you that cold precision he valued so much, and it helped you shield your mind and spirit from the devastating effects of working in an emergency room.

However, not everyone shared the same opinion as Jack regarding you. Being so closed-off compared to what's expected of a person on a team that worked so closely together, some people saw you as distant and unapproachable.

But frankly? It didn't bother you at all. You maintained a mildly decent work-life balance by embracing the "icy" persona, and while wearing nothing but black clothes and thick eyeliner on your natural resting bitch-face, you were bound to be labeled as unpleasant. But you knew that the people who mattered to you didn't think of you like that. And absolutely no one could say you were rude or impolite.

Just... professional.

You rolled over to the other side of your bed with another groan, and set the alarm on your phone for 5 a.m instead of 5 p.m.

God, tomorrow would be such a fucking bitch of a day.

-

You felt like you were jet-lagged by the time you got to the Pitt. With your usual half-empty iced latte from Dunkin' Donuts in hand, you entered your workplace knowing your circadian cicle would descend its heavenly revenge on you after working the graveyard shift for almost a year, your AirPods blaring only God knows what in order to keep you awake.

You thought it was Black Sabbath, but couldn't know for sure.

Before greeting Jack, you made a beeline to the doctor's lounge and hid a couple of Red Bull cans in the back of the refrigerator, with your name labeled on them for good measure.

You barely made it to the nurses' station before being loudly surrounded by Parker and John.

"What the fuck happened to you?"

"We thought you were dead, man! Why didn't you answer the group chat?"

You cringed slightly at their approach, still half asleep, and turned off your AirPods before putting them away inside your pockets.

"I know. Abbot hates me and in order to prove it, he's demoting me to the day shift for a month", you said half-heartdly while replacing your sunglasses with your usual glasses.

"So you're the one covering for Langdon, huh?"

"Langdon?"

You made a face and your co-workers looked at each other while shrugging, clearly dissatisfied with your habit of keeping yourself out of the loop. You mostly remember Frank from your first year as a resident, immediately disliking him due to his boastful and cocky nature.

You didn't like guys who knew they were handsome.

"I don't even wanna know."

Across the nurses' station, your loud trio got Jack's attention. From his perspective, it looked like you were a kid begrudgingly going to another school across the country and your friends were sadly saying their goodbyes.

With an eyebrow raised, Abbot nodded his face in your direction, and Robby followed Jack when he approached you. Shen and Ellis nodded to you in a silent way of saying "we'll catch up with you later" before leaving you with the senior attendings.

Robby almost introduced himself to you before recalling your face.

"You're doctor, uhh..."

You gave him your last name with a grin, raising an eyebrow while looking at Jack, who almost laughed at your discomfort. Robby looked a bit sheepish for not remembering you, but you answered him in a way that conveyed no hard feelings through your tone.

However, you would remember that face even if you didn't see him for a year.

Shit, he's more gorgeous than you thought.

You schooled your countenance to the best of your abilities before focusing on Jack.

"I'll deny to anyone that I've said this, but she's one of my best residents, Robby. Take good care of her, alright?", he lightly slapped your shoulder a couple of times before making his way to the exit, and you playfully squinted your eyes while looking at him, slightly embarrassed by Abbot's praise.

Robby surprisingly raised his eyebrows for a moment before crossing his arms, studying you for a second.

Black scrubs, black shoes, black backpack, black eyeliner.

You followed your mentor with your face in order to watch him take his leave, refusing to let Robby embarrass you any further with his curious gaze.

"Talk to you later, Jack."

He nodded with another barely hidden grin on his face, and you shot a glare at him.

You were fucked and he knew it.

You stared back at Robby for a moment before he shook his face, sighing.

"I don't have to show you around, do I?"

You exhaled through your nose, shaking your head no with a short smile.

"Not really, no."

"Great. We have about twenty five patients waiting on triage."

You nodded once more and headed to the locker room to put your backpack away and finally get ready to work the goddamn day shift.

-

Robby didn't see you until 10 a.m, after you discharged your fifth patient, a 7 year-old boy with a nasty cut on his eyebrow. The kid sweetly waved you goodbye while you walked towards the nurses' station, looking for your next patient. You heard Dana's voice before you saw her.

"Robby, MI coming up, ETA two minutes. Hey— I know who you are!", her tone shifted from alert to agreeable, smiling after recognizing you.

"Mrs. Evans," you replied with a smile, slightly shy.

"Where have you been, kid?"

"Working the night shift."

"For how long?", she walked towards you and gave you a quick hug, taking you in for a moment.

"A year. What happened to you?", you frowned after noticing her black eye, the bruise starting to fade.

"Just another satisfied customer."

"Please tell me you pressed charges...?"

"He's already in jail. C'mon, we gotta go." Robby interrupted your little reunion with a slightly impatient tone, and you gave Dana a nod before following him to the ambulance bay.

You didn't seem to take his demeanor at face value; didn't even have time to dwell on it while the ambulance rolled in.

"Donald Jones, 67, his son called 911 after he passed out in his home. Son said he's taking enalapril. Complained of chest pain, lost consciousness about two minutes ago. BP is 151/100 palp, heart rate's 115, sat's 93, we already started a line on him," the paramedics presented the patient while pushing the gurney inside the ER, squeezing the ambu bag attached to a facemask.

"Mister Jones, can you hear me?", you asked your patient and when he didn't answer, you rubbed your closed fist against his chest, frowning when he didn't complain. "Dana, what's free?"

"Trauma two!"

"Get Javadi and Santos, Dana," Robby requested while entering Trauma Two.

"On my count, one, two, three..."

The four of you raised the patient and placed him on the bed, and while you were listening to his heart and lungs with your stethoscope, another nurse slapped the electrodes on mr. Jones' chest. You quickly put on a gown and a pair of gloves before assessing his eyes with your pocket flashlight.

"Pupils are equal and reactive..."

"What do you want, doctor?"

"12-lead ECG, CBC, coagulation profile, potassium and sodium levels, CK and troponin too. I need an E-FAST, I can barely hear his heartbeat."

"What are you thinking?"

"Positive Kussmaul sign, patient's on ACE inhibitors. Pericardial effusion due to right heart failure."

"Very well. Javadi, you're up. Hold the probe while she teaches you how to perform a pericardiocentesis."

You frowned again after finally noticed two med students around you, one looking far too excited, and the other like a deer caught in headlights.

"Okay, I need a periocardiocentesis kit—"

"Lost his pulse, V-tach! Sats are dropping to eighty-nine, eighty-five..."

Everyone in the room looked at the heart monitor after Princess' warning, and you went for the intubation kit before anyone could hand it to you.

"Santos, start compressions. Princess, charge to 200," Robby calmly ordered his staff around him, arms crossed while closely watching your performance. You carefully inserted the laryngoscope inside your patient's mouth and looked for the cords, the endotracheal tube already in your opposite hand.

"I can't see the cords. Need some cricoid pressure, please."

Robby approached Donald and placed his fingers around his throat in a way that you could finally see your patient's vocal cords. You easily passed the ET tube and inflated its cuff with a syringe, pulling the guide wire.

"I'm in. Bag him."

"Sats are coming up... ninety, ninety-one..." Another nurse squeezed the ambu bag while you returned to Javadi's side. You pulled her towards you after hearing Robby's "Clear!", preventing the med student from getting a nasty shock.

"Sinus rhythm."

"Okay...", you said to yourself while opening the periocardiocentesis tray, switching your nitrile gloves for sterile ones so fast that even Robby was surprised. Princess quicky rubbed a gauze drenched in antiseptic before you placed the sterile drape over the patient's chest.

"Javadi, right?", you quickly looked to the youngest med student next to you before focusing on the ultrasound screen.

"Y-yeah!"

"Okay, I'm going to insert the needle below the xiphoid process, directed to the left shoulder. Do you see it?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Great. I'm in the pericardial space, now...", you started to fill the syringe with the excessive fluid around the patient's heart, and his parameters steadily started to drop into normalcy.

"Did you get that?", you asked Javadi with a small smile, finally allowing yourself to breathe once the monitors were beeping less frequently.

She nodded her head in response, way less wide-eyed than when she entered Trauma Two.

"Ten of morphine, forty of Lasix, 1 microgram of dobutamine per kilogram per minute, and page Cardiology, please."

The other med student finally spoke.

"That will always be a cool procedure."

You agreed, deeply inhaling through your nose in order to calm your own heart. You removed your sterile gloves and aimed them at the trash can, stepping aside so that the nurses could wrap up yo collective work.

"Med student too?"

"Intern, actually. Trinity Santos."

You shook her hand and introduced yourself to her, checking your patient's vitals once more with your stethoscope. While counting his heart rate, you remembered Jack mentioning to you over post-shift breakfast yesterday that an intern named Santos placed a REBOA on a patient without supervision after the PittFest mass-shooting.

"Heartbeat's better—"

"Cardiology will be here in thirty minutes."

Robby's voice almost scared you, the man finally saying something after staying on the sidelines watching you.

"That's fast," you sarcastically quipped, rubbing your arm against your slightly sweated forehead before readjusting your glasses on your face.

"Javadi, Santos, keep an eye on him. Let's see if his son is outside."

The two young women quickly replied to Robby while you left Trauma Two with him.

"Robby, this man's son is here." Dana informed your attending while he turned to you, acknowledging the nurse with his head.

"Good job back there."

"Thank you, doctor Robinavitch."

"You can—"

"Hey, is my dad okay?!", a younger version of your patient almost ran into you, and you were about to explain his dad's status to him before Robby cut you off.

"You dad most likely had a heart attack, but he's stable for now. We're waiting for Cardiology, and you'll be able to see him in a few minutes."

"Oh, thank God. Thank you so much, doctor."

"Excuse me, doctor Robinavitch."

"Uh, sure."

He eyed you warily for a moment while you made your way to the nurses' station, having a long sip from your water bottle. At first, you did seem aloof, but his own behavior didn't seem to faze you even a little bit: you weren't getting cocky over the praise, nor resentful for not taking credit for saving that man's life.

Michael crossed his arms, deep in thought. He could see why Abbot thought you were one of his best residents only a few hours into the shift. However, he wasn't ready to confess to himself that the way you carried yourself peaked his interest in a worrying manner.

That, and he should be ashamed of himself for ogling a young woman half his age like a creep.

"You kicked him in the shins or something?", Dana asked you while you were filing your last patient's chart.

"What?"

"Robby. He's staring at you like you kicked a puppy."

You looked over your shoulder and Robby suddenly made a beeline to another resident after hearing his name being called.

If you were a tad more arrogant, you would've thought he was staring at you.

"I think that's just his face," you dismissed her in your usual tone.

Dana stifled a laugh and focused again on the screen in front of her.

While Mel presented her patient, only one thought crossed Robby's mind.

He was fucked and he knows it.

HAPPY LOWMAN MASTERLIST 4 🍒

Here you can find all chapters to GONE WITH THE SIN.

Miranda 'Randi' Morrow was finally living her dream after getting her dream job in Seattleᅳ even though she had to give up a lot and leave behind for her dream, including the Tacoma Killer, with whom she had been in a relationship for three years. Part of her had always regretted not fighting harder for her relationship, but on the other hand she had now what she had always wantedᅳ although she wasn't sure if it was still her dream or if her priorities had changed during her time with Happy. When her brother called in a lockdown, however, she realized sooner than she liked how much she regretted letting go of what had been most important to her. Besides her dream job, her old love being back in her life and a new rival, Randi had to decide what she ultimately wanted.

·.·.·༄ 𝑾𝑬𝑳𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑬 𝑻𝑶 𝑮𝑶𝑵𝑬 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑰𝑵!

click on keep reading to see the cast, other information and all the chapters at the end of this post!

want to get tagged in the chapters? Let me know in the comments! 🤎

𝘚𝘌𝘛 𝘐𝘕; 𝘊𝘏𝘈𝘙𝘔𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘈𝘕𝘋 𝘚𝘌𝘈𝘛𝘛𝘓𝘌 𝘐𝘕 𝟤𝟢𝟣𝟦

·.·.· 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝑪𝑨𝑺𝑻 ·.·.·

𝗠𝗜𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗔 '𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗜' 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗪

𝑇𝑊𝐸𝑁𝑇𝑌-𝑆𝐼𝑋 | 𝑃𝑅𝑂𝐹𝐸𝑆𝑆𝐼𝑂𝑁𝐴𝐿 𝐷𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑅 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐶𝐻𝑂𝑅𝐸𝑂𝐺𝑅𝐴𝑃𝐻𝐸𝑅 / 𝐷𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸 𝑇𝐸𝐴𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑅 |  𝑆𝐴𝑀𝐶𝑅𝑂'𝑆 𝑃𝑅𝐼𝑁𝐶𝐸𝑆𝑆 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐻𝐴𝑃𝑃𝑌'𝑆 (𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑀𝐸𝑅) 𝑂𝐿𝐷 𝐿𝐴𝐷𝑌 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝑆𝑂𝐹𝐼𝐴 𝐶𝐴𝑅𝑆𝑂𝑁

𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗬 𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗠𝗔𝗡

𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑌-𝑇𝑊𝑂 | 𝑆𝐴𝐴 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑅𝐸𝐷𝑊𝑂𝑂𝐷 𝑂𝑅𝐼𝐺𝐼𝑁𝐴𝐿 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑅𝑇𝐸𝑅 | 𝐻𝐼𝑇𝑀𝐴𝑁 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝐷𝐴𝑉𝐼𝐷 𝐿𝐴𝐵𝑅𝐴𝑉𝐴 𝐴𝑆 𝐼𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑊

𝗝𝗔𝗫 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗧𝗔𝗥𝗔 𝗞𝗡𝗢𝗪𝗟𝗘𝗦-𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑇𝑌-𝑆𝐼𝑋, 𝐵𝑂𝑇𝐻 𝑂𝐹 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑀 | 𝑆𝐴𝑀𝐶𝑅𝑂'𝑆 𝑃𝑅𝐸𝑆 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐷𝑂𝐶𝑇𝑂𝑅/𝑆𝑈𝑅𝐺𝐸𝑂𝑁 𝐴𝑇 𝑆𝑇. 𝑇𝐻𝑂𝑀𝐴𝑆 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝐶𝐻𝐴𝑅𝐿𝐼𝐸 𝐻𝑈𝑁𝑁𝐴𝑀 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑀𝐴𝐺𝐺𝐼𝐸 𝑆𝐼𝐹𝐹 𝐴𝑆 𝐼𝑁 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑊

𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗬 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗪 𝗔𝗡𝗗 𝗚𝗘𝗠𝗠𝗔 𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥-𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗪

𝐹𝐼𝐹𝑇𝑌-𝐸𝐼𝐺𝐻𝑇 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐹𝐼𝐹𝑇𝑌-𝑆𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑁 | 𝑆𝐴𝑀𝐶𝑅𝑂'𝑆 𝑉𝑃 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝑀𝐴𝑇𝑅𝐼𝐴𝑅𝐶𝐻 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝑅𝑂𝑁 𝑃𝐸𝑅𝐿𝑀𝐴𝑁 𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝐾𝐴𝑇𝐸𝑌 𝑆𝐴𝐺𝐴𝐿

·.·.· 𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 ·.·.·

𝗝𝗨𝗟𝗜𝗔 𝗔𝗧𝗞𝗜𝗡𝗦𝗢𝗡

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑇𝑌-𝑂𝑁𝐸 | 𝐶𝑅𝑂𝑊𝐸𝐴𝑇𝐸𝑅 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝑀𝐸𝑅𝑅𝐼𝑇𝑇 𝑃𝐴𝑇𝑇𝐸𝑅𝑆𝑂𝑁

𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗞𝗦 

𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑅𝑇𝑌-𝑆𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑁 | 𝑂𝑊𝑁𝐸𝑅 𝑂𝐹 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐷𝐴𝑁𝐶𝐸 𝑆𝐶𝐻𝑂𝑂𝐿 𝐼𝑁 𝑆𝐸𝐴𝑇𝑇𝐿𝐸 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝐸𝐷 𝑆𝑃𝐸𝐸𝐿𝐸𝑅𝑆

𝗔𝗡𝗡𝗘 𝗠𝗢𝗥𝗥𝗢𝗪

𝐹𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑌-𝑆𝐼𝑋 | 𝑇𝐻𝐸 𝐶𝑂𝑂𝐿 𝐴𝑈𝑁𝑇 | 𝑃𝑂𝑅𝑇𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐸𝐷 𝐵𝑌 𝑀𝐴̈𝐷𝐶𝐻𝐸𝑁 𝐴𝑀𝐼𝐶𝐾

·.·.·༄ (𝑻𝑹𝑰𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑹) 𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺

• 𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙙 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙡𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚

• 𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙩𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙢 𝙙𝙚𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙤𝙣

• 𝙙𝙚𝙩𝙖𝙞𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙚'𝙭𝙪𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙨

·.·.·༄ 𝑰𝑴𝑷𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑨𝑵𝑻 𝑰𝑵𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑰𝑶𝑵

𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥! 𝘔𝘺 𝘖𝘊 𝘪𝘴 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺'𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘎𝘦𝘮𝘮𝘢'𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘶𝘨𝘩𝘵𝘦𝘳. 𝘚𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟥 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘢𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝟤𝟢𝟢𝟪, 𝘮𝘺 𝘖𝘊 𝘸𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘣𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘰𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱. 𝘚𝘰 𝘐 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 𝘢 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦. 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝟣𝟫𝟫𝟥, 𝘑𝘰𝘩𝘯 𝘥𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝟣𝟫𝟪𝟨 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘑𝘢𝘹 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 𝘺𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝟣𝟥. 𝘐𝘯 𝟣𝟫𝟪𝟩, 𝘎𝘦𝘮𝘮𝘢 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘢 𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘱 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝟣𝟫𝟪𝟪 𝘙𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘳𝘯. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘣𝘦𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘴 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘦𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘖𝘈 𝘴𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘪𝘯 𝟤𝟢𝟣𝟦. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘡𝘰𝘣𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘥𝘪𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘳𝘺. 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘣𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘯 𝘶𝘱, 𝘑𝘶𝘪𝘤𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢 𝘳𝘢𝘵, 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘦𝘭, 𝘴𝘰 𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘢'𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘴𝘮𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥, 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘤𝘩 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘥𝘰𝘤𝘵𝘰𝘳. 𝘑𝘢𝘹 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘷𝘰𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘺 '𝘳𝘦𝘵𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘥' 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘭𝘺 𝘳𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘥𝘶𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘰𝘢𝘳𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘴- 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘢 𝘱𝘦𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘚𝘰𝘯𝘴. 𝘛𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘑𝘢𝘹' 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘬𝘪𝘥𝘯𝘢𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘯. 𝘐𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘥, 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘣 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘎𝘦𝘮𝘮𝘢. 𝘑𝘢𝘹 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘊𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘱𝘶𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘥𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘭𝘶𝘣 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘴 𝘗𝘳𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘝𝘗, 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘳𝘰𝘭𝘦𝘴 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘴𝘪𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘺 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥. 𝘐 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵'𝘴 𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘭𝘭 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘰𝘶𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨! 𝘗𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘢 𝘷𝘰𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥, 𝘰𝘧 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘭𝘺 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵, 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘢 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵- 𝘪𝘵 𝘮𝘦𝘢𝘯𝘴 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘰 𝘶𝘴 𝘸𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴. 𝘍𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘤𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘪𝘤𝘪𝘴𝘮 𝘢𝘴 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘴 𝘪𝘵'𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘧𝘶𝘭. 𝘌𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩 𝘪𝘴𝘯'𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘭𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵; 𝘴𝘰 𝘪𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘦𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘬𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘮𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴! 𝘌𝘯𝘫𝘰𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨. 🖤🥰

·.·.·༄ 𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑷𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺

chapter one

chapter two

chapter three

chapter four

chapter five

chapter six

chapter seven

chapter eight

chapter nine

chapter ten

. . .

chapter eleven

chapter twelve

Young At Age, Old In Heart // Jack Abbot

Prologue: Clam before the storm.

Summary: Jack Abbots unlikely affinity for the younger PT down at the VA starts to really spiral out of control when she’s brought in during a mass casualty event.

Warnings: 18+ content. Gun violence. Gun violence victims. Slow burn romance. Jack Abbot x F!reader. Age Gap! Older male x younger female. Mature content and themes.

Word Count: 1.8k

Author Note: I’m trying to allow myself to enjoy the smaller things in life that bring me joy so here we are…ironically concocting some of the most gut wrenching whump you and I both have ever read. But for now…enjoy this slow burn prologue.

“Don’t worry, you’ll get there soon enough.”

Dr. Jack Abbot…wasn’t expecting to see the new hire from down at the VA, with a patient in one of the examination rooms, the Pitt never seemed to have enough off. He caught the sound of your laugh, a mix of ‘this isn’t happening’ and ‘unbelievable’, peppered the pitch at which you let your laughter echo off the walls. Jack goes there on an infrequent basis, to the VA, that is, mainly when the nightmares get too out of control.

You’ve got this quick wit about you that the golden oldies love. The banter, the big personality. The way you show up and lead the room with nothing but a little conviction.

And now here you are…why were you here so early? And why were you wearing his jumper like it belonged to you?

“Hi!” Jack hears your voice as he makes his way across the Emergency Room with blinders to get to you. That first memory of you meeting played in the frontal cortex of Jack’s mind—all the while he watched you listen and take in all the Dr, you couldn’t remember her name, had to say. “I haven’t had the chance to meet you yet,” You explain graciously. “I’m Y/n, one of the new Personal Trainers here.”

“I gotta say, you’re a lot better looking than Aaron over there,” The man who shook your hand said loud enough for your colleague to hear. “I’m—“Before Jack could introduce himself to you, Aaron was shouting across the small but impactful space.

“Hey! It’s my old man, thought you fell off the perch for a second there, but I guess we aren’t that lucky?” Aaron teased as he took slow steps of confidence towards Jack. He could only begin to imagine what you were thinking after hearing such a welcome.

“Luck hasn’t got anything to do with it, and I’ll tell you that for free my brother—“ Jack reciprocated the friendly fire “How’s your mother anyway? She still call my name in her sleep—*oof*”

“Don’t mind the talking corpse in early-stage rigour mortis, Y/n,” Aaron sighed after his softly jabbed Jack in the gut. “That’s our boy Abbot, Dr. Jack Abbot, neighbour, friend and legend in and outta the combat zone.”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t mind me,” Jack coughed as he landed a hand on your colleague’s shoulder. He faked instability like he was trying to get a rise out of you. “Aaron here has one testicle, but–”

Okay, easy pops,” Aaron conceded to the ribbing event he’d started. “Jack here works down at the Pitt, stops by from time to time when he has some spare time, comes for a workout.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Dr. Jack,” You confirmed with a nod and a smile.

“You’ve got Y/n today, and please don’t fall victim to the cutiesy, I’m just a girl, innocence, she’s like a Venus fly trap.” Aaron turned his sights on you as his next victim. “But she goes alright, keeps the old vets in check.”

“Jack is just fine,” Jack smiled at you as you puffed your chest a little, living in the moment of the slightly backhanded compliment from Aaron.

“I think I’m gonna stick with Dr. Jack.” You left it at a wink, a small but telling gesture that Jack wasn’t too taken aback by. He gravitated towards flirtatious banter…

Because at his very core, Jack Abbot was a flirt. He was the flirt.

Jack had never been so perplexed before in the context of someone’s presence. Your smile was like a drug of sorts, like he was getting a sort of morphine straight to his veins whenever your lips curled up into a wide, bright curl.

The way you conducted yourself through the class. The energy, the passion that Jack could see so clearly. You were like a sort of espresso, a beautiful change in his mundane routine. One that he wanted to change somewhat. That’s why he was here to begin with.

The VA was a safe place. A community of people who may not have shared the same history…but understood the language.

“What are you doing in my E.R.?” Jack spoke calmly but firmly. Like he knew clarity was his best friend.

His voice sounded like a melodious symphony. Something you could listen to with intent all day long.

“Dr. Jack,” You smiled at the man who’d become…something, to you. “Danny here had a bit of a fall earlier this morning and I have a bad habit of giving these guys my phone number incase of emergencies,” You explained with care as you made sure your client and valued friend was comfortable. “Luckily, there’s nothing too serious that can’t be handled, right Danny?”

“Awful shame I didn’t catch the two of you sooner though,” Jack shrugged as he moved effortlessly around the room to get closer to you. Doing so in a way that wasn’t advertently obvious. You caught on straight away, watching him with every move he made. “My shifts just ended.”

“Y/n was just keeping me company till my sister could get here,” Danny explained as he sat with oxygen and some heavy duty pain killers. “She’s free to leave.”

“I wasn’t offering taxi service if that’s what you thought, Dan,” Jack teased as he checked over all of Danny’s vitals just to be sure. Brushing past you ever so slightly as he did. “I was just saying I’m going home, so if you code I’m not coming back to save your ass.”

“Semper Fi,” You mumbled just enough for Jack to hear you. He’d told you once while on an early morning run that it was a code. A life motto for any Marine. ‘Always faithful’. You already knew what it meant when he told you. You’d worked down at the VA for long enough to pick up a little lingo between the corps.

But you liked when you got to play student sometimes.

The look you received as Jack looked back at you over his shoulder was one that could turn anyone who ran hot…to ice in under three seconds.

“You need a ride home?” He asked just for the sake of pleasantries, knowing you didn’t need a ride, but would in fact be seeing him later for breakfast. A date. A planned adult interaction outside of work and his normal routine. Jack was working on it. The mundane that was.

“I got it, Pops,” Again, the glare nearly made you dizzy. The stern eyebrows, the tight lipped expression. “I’ll catch you later, Danny, please look after yourself and say hello to Carole for me.”

“Will do darling, and thanks again for coming.” Danny expressed his gratitude.

“Owe me a fifty, but I guess I’ll allow it just this once, for you.” You flirted back lightheartedly like you always did. They needed it. It was like a drug to them. The attention, the praise.

You liked it too. Older men. An older man that was. The man who was looking at you with such fire behind his dusty eyes. Clouded with swayed judgment and lust for the younger woman standing in the doorway.

“I knew I was your favourite.” Danny’s voice brought you back to earth, but your eyes never peeled away from the glare you were receiving.

“Oh I dunno about that, That spots already been taken.” You replied, knowing Jack would assume you were implying that he was in fact your favourite…

****************************

“Hey,” There you were, sitting right on the hood of Jack's truck as he sauntered across the hospital car park. The beat up piece of crude barely worked, but he sure loved it like it was an extension of himself. “Did you know the cafe here is actually decent?”

“Ah—“ Jack teased as he made it over to where you had perched up against his 1998 Ford Falcon. “Well, if it isn’t miss independent herself!” Jack mocks you playfully while you hand him the coffee you brought on his behalf. “Driving yourself places, I’m so proud of you! Graduating from the booster seat, also, that’s my jumper you said you nev—“

“Shut up for a minute would you?” You interrupted with a soft chuckle. “I got you these,” the bouquet of natives you had kept beside you was now on full display. “Stop by his grave and say hello later today?”

Jack didn’t respond as he reached out for the flowers. All far beyond perfect. He didn’t respond right away. He simply studied every possible angle of the natives in their perfect world of order and precision.

“How did you know?” Was all he managed to offer up, the tone in his voice now laced with a heaviness of grief no amount of time could heal.

“You’ve mentioned him and I listen,” You knew it was a hard subject to discuss, but the death of Dr. Adamson would never be forgotten. “But if you want a more intimate answer then I’d say you’ve been more on edge than usual,” You knew Jack thought he had it under wraps. “Just figured it was that.” You shrugged understandingly.

“Did you ask me out for breakfast—“ Once again, before Jack could finish, you interrupted. Finishing his sentence for him.

“So you wouldn’t jump off the roof? Yeah—”

“C’mon, sweetheart, you’re crushing my sprint here.” Jack faked a pained heart as he bumped his shoulder into yours. The pair of you were still leaning against the bonnet of his beat up shot box.

“Plus, you’ve been using my Doordash account and I dunno what to tell you besides you need to add an extra therapy session into your schedule.”

“God I hate you.” Jack didn’t. If anything he was beginning to question if he maybe subscribed to the other side of the coin. Love. Jack wasn’t capable of love in this sort of capacity.

Was he?

“Keep lying to yourself Dr. Jack,“ You teased with a soft laugh. “It doesn’t work on me.”

Another moment of silence passed the two of you by as you took in the crisp Pittsburgh air. That early morning mist. The soft glow of a radiant sunrise on the horizon.

“Does physical therapy count?” Jack broke the silence with a gentle knock of his foot against yours.

“Your runner's leg is—oh,” Your mind had immediately gone to Jack's prosthetic. It was still at the VA. “You were trying to seduce me, weren’t you?”

“Come home with me, I’ll make you breakfast?” It was a genuine offer that you couldn’t refuse. By why? What was Jack thinking about?

“Catch?” You counted. “And don’t give me any bullshit Abbot!”

Jack could feel your index finger poking him in the chest. You still sat beside him, but you’d turned yourself towards him. “No bullshit—no catch, let’s just see where the day takes us.”

“I gotta take Tate to Pittfest later, but I’m sure I’ve got time to play into your delusional old man fantasies.” You replied playfully with a Cheshire like grin smeared across your face.

“You sure know how to make a guy feel young, don’t you?” Jack sighed, faking defeat.

“Standard issue daddy issues, my friend,” You shrugged, leaning in to leave a gentle kiss on Jack's scruff covered cheek. “Race ya.”

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