Asking Robby to walk you down the aisle after u said yes to Jack hOLD MY HAND SYDDDD đđđđ
The Handoff đĽ Ý ËÖ´ ࣪â âšË
a/n : I fear I took your idea and turned it into a 4k word emotional spiral. I genuinely couldnât help myself. like⌠Jack crying in uniform??? Robby soft-dad-coded and holding it together until he canât??? the handoff?? the dress reveal??
summary : Jack proposes in the trauma bay. You say yes. Before the wedding, you ask Robby to walk you down the aisle.
content/warnings: emotional wedding fluff, quiet proposal energy, found family themes, Jack crying in uniform, Robby in full dad-mode, reader with no biological family, soft military references, subtle grief, emotional intimacy, and everyone in the ER being completely unprepared for Jack Abbot to have visible feelings.
word count : 4,149 (... hear me out)
You hadnât expected Jack to propose.
Not because you didnât think he wanted to. But because Jack Abbot didnât really ask for things. He was a man of action. Not words. Never had been.
But with you? He always showed it.
Like brushing your shoulder on the way to a trauma roomânot for luck, not for show, just to say Iâm here.
It was how he peeled oranges for you. Always handed to you in a napkin, wedges split and cleaned of the white stringy partsâbecause you once mentioned you hated them. And he remembered.
It was how he left the porch light on when you got held over.
How heâd warm your side of the bed with a heating pad when your back ached.
Heâd hook his pinky with yours in the hallway. Leave your favorite hoodieâhisâfolded on your pillow when he knew heâd miss you by a few hours.
Jack didnât say âI love youâ like other people. He said it like this. In gestures. In patterns. In choosing you, over and over, without fanfare.
No big speeches. No dramatic declarations.
Just peeled oranges. Warm beds. Soft touches.
So when it finally happenedâa proposal, of all thingsâit caught you off guard.
Not because you didnât think he meant it. But because youâd never pictured it. Not from him. Not like this.
The trauma bay was quiet now. The kind of quiet that only happens after a winâafter the adrenaline fades, the stats even out and the patient lives. Youâd both been working the case for nearly forty minutes, side by side, barked orders and that intense, seamless rhythm youâd only ever found with him.
You saved a life tonight. Together.
And now the world outside the curtain was humming soft and far away.
You stood by the sink, scrubbing off the last of the bloodâgood blood, this time. He was leaning against the supply cabinet, gloves off. Something in his shoulders had dropped. His body loose in that way it never really was unless you were alone.
He didnât speak at first.
Just watched you in that quiet way he always did when his guard was downâlike he was trying to memorize you, just in case you werenât there to catch him tomorrow.
You flicked water from your hands. âWhat?â
âNothing.â
You gave him a look.
He hesitated.
Then, casuallyâas casually as only Jack could manage while asking you something that was about to gut youâ
âIâd marry you.â
You froze. Not dramatically. Not visibly. Just enough that he caught the subtle change in your face, the way your mouth parted like you needed more air all of a sudden.
His eyes didnât move. He didnât smile. Didnât joke.
âIf you wanted,â he added after a beat, voice a little lower now. A little rougher. âI would.â
It didnât sound like a performance. It sounded like a truth heâd been sitting on for months. One he only knew how to say in places like thisâwhere the lighting was too bright and your hearts were still racing and nothing else existed but you two still breathing.
Your chest ached.
âYeah,â you said. It came out quieter than you meant to. âIâd marry you too.â
He exhaled slowly through his nose.
And then he stepped toward youânot fast, not dramatic, just steady. Like heâd already decided that he was yours. Like this wasnât new, just something the two of you had known without ever having to say it.
No ring. No big speech. No audience.
Just you. Him. The place where it all made sense.
âYouâre it for me,â he murmured.
And you smiled too, because yeahâhe didnât say things often. But when he did?
They wrecked you.
Because he meant them. And he meant this.
You. Forever.
You didnât tell anyone, not right away.
Not because you wanted to keep it a secret. But because you didnât have anyone to tell. Not in the way other people did.
There were no group texts. No parents to call. No siblings waiting on the other end of the line, ready to scream and cry and make it real. Youâd built your life from the ground upâand for a long time, that had felt like enough. Youâd learned how to move through the world quietly. Efficiently. Without needing to belong to anyone. Without needing to be someoneâs daughter.
But then came residency.
And Robby.
He hadnât swooped in. Hadnât made it obvious. That wasnât his style. But the first week of your intern year, when youâd gotten chewed out by a trauma surgeon in the middle of the ER, it was Robby who handed you a water, sat next to you in the stairwell, and said, âHeâs an asshole. Donât let it stick.â
After that, it just⌠happened. Slowly.
He checked your notes when you looked too tired to think. He drove you home once in a snowstorm and started keeping granola bars in his gloveboxâjust in case.
He noticed you never talked about home. Never mentioned your parents. Never took time off for holidays.
He never asked. But he was always there.
When you matched into the program full-time, he texted, Knew it.
When you pulled your first solo central line, he left a sticky note on your locker: Took you long enough, show-off.
When a shift gutted you so bad you couldnât breathe, he sat beside you on the floor of the supply room and didnât say a word.
You never called him a father figure. You didnât need to.
He just was.
So when the proposal finally felt realâsettled, certainâyou knew who you had to tell first.
You found him three days later, camped at his usual spot at the nurseâs stationâreading glasses sliding down his nose, his ridiculous â#1 Interrogatorâ mug tucked in one hand. He didnât notice you at first. You just stood there, stomach buzzing, watching the way he tapped his pen against the margin like he was trying not to throw the whole file out a window.
âHey,â you said, trying not to fidget.
He looked up. âYou look like youâre about to tell me someone died.â
âNo one died.â
He leaned back in the chair, eyebrows raised. âAlright. Hit me.â
You opened your mouthâthen paused. Your heart was thudding like youâd just sprinted up from sub-level trauma.
Then, quiet: âJack proposed.â
A beat.
Another.
Robby blinked. âWaitâwhat?â
You nodded. âYeah. Three days ago.â
His mouth opened. Then shut again. Then opened.
âIn the middle of a shift?â he asked finally, like he couldnât decide whether to be horrified or impressed.
You smiled. âEnd of a code. Weâd just saved a guy. He said, âIâd marry you. If you wanted.ââ
Robby looked down, then laughed quietly. âOf course he did. Thatâs so him.â
âI said yes.â
âObviously you did.â
You shifted your weight, suddenly unsure.
âI didnât know who to tell. But⌠I wanted you to know first.â
That landed.
He didnât say anything. Just stared at you, his face soft in that way he rarely let it be. Like something behind his ribs had cracked open a little.
Then he let out a breath. Slow. Rough at the edges.
âHe told me, you know,â he said. âA few weeks ago. That he was thinking about it.â
Your eyebrows lifted. âReally?â
âWellââtold meâ is generous,â he muttered. âHe cornered me outside the supply closet and said something like, âI donât know if sheâd say yes, but I think I need to ask.â Then grunted and walked away.â
You laughed, head tilting. âThat sounds about right.â
âI figured it would happen eventually,â Robby said. âI just didnât know it already had. This is the first Iâm hearing that he actually went through with it.â
He looked down at his coffee, thumb brushing the rim. Then back up at you with something warm in his expression that made your throat go tight.
âIâm proud of you, kid. Really.â
Your throat tightened.
âI donât really have⌠anyone,â you said. âNot like that. But youâve always beenââ
He waved a hand, cutting you off before you could get too sentimental. His voice was quiet when he said, âI know.â
You nodded. Tried to swallow the lump forming in your throat.
âYou crying on me?â he teased gently.
âNo,â you lied.
âLiar.â
He reached up and gave your arm a firm patâone of those dad-move, no-nonsense gesturesâbut he kept his hand there for a second, steady and warm.
âYouâre gonna be okay,â he said. âThe two of you. Thatâs gonna be something good.â
You smiled at the floor. Then at him.
âHey, Robby?â
He looked up. âYeah?â
You opened your mouthâhesitated. The words were there. Right there on your tongue. But they felt too big, too final for a hallway and a half-empty cup of coffee.
You shook your head, smiling just a little. âActually⌠never mind.â
His eyes softened instantly. No push. No questions.
Just, âAlright. Whenever youâre ready.â
And somehow, you knewâhe already knew what you were going to ask. And when the time came, heâd say yes without hesitation.
It happened on a Wednesday. Late enough in the evening that most of the ER had emptied out, early enough that the halls still echoed with footsteps and intercom beeps and nurses joking in breakrooms. Youâd just finished a back-to-back shiftâone of those long, hazy doubles where time folds in on itself. Your ID badge was flipped around on its lanyard. You smelled like sweat, sanitizer, and twelve hours of recycled air.
You found Robby in the stairwell.
Not for any sentimental reasonâthatâs just where he always went to decompress. A quiet landing. One of the overhead lights had a faint flicker, and he was sitting on the fourth step, half reading something, half just existing. His hoodie sleeves were shoved up to his elbows.
He looked tired in that familiar, permanent way. But settled. Like someone who wasnât trying to be anywhere else.
âHey,â you said, voice low.
He looked up instantly. âYou good?â
You nodded. Walked down a few steps until you were standing just above him.
âI need to ask you something.â
He squinted. âYou pregnant?â
You snorted. âNo.â
âDid Jack do something stupid?â
âAlso no.â
He closed the folder in his lap and gave you his full attention.
You hesitated. A long beat. âOkay, soâwhen I was younger, I used to lie.â
Robby blinked. âThatâs where this is going?â
You ignored him.
âIâd make up stories about my family. At school. Whenever there was some essay or form or âbring your parents to career dayâ crapâIâd just invent someone. A dad who was a firefighter. A mom who was a nurse. A grandma who sent birthday cards.â
Robby didnât move. Just listened.
âAnd I got good at it. Lying. Not because I wanted to, but because it was easier than explaining why I didnât have anybody. Why there was no one to call if something happened. Why I always stayed late. Why I never talked about holidays.â
You looked down at him now. Really looked at him.
âI didnât make anything up this time.â
His brow furrowed, just slightly.
âBecause I have someone now,â you said. âI do.â
He didnât say anything. Not yet.
You took a breath that shook a little in your chest.
âAnd Iâm getting married in a few months, and thereâs this part I keep thinking about. The aisle. Walking down it. That moment.â
You cleared your throat.
âI donât want it to be random. Or symbolic. Or just⌠for show.â
Another breath.
âI want it to be you.â
Robby blinked once.
Then again.
His mouth opened like he was about to say something. Closed. Then opened again.
âYou want me to walk you?â
You nodded. âYeah. I do.â
He exhaled hard. Looked away for a second like he needed the extra space to catch up to his own heart.
âJesus,â he muttered. âYouâre really trying to kill me.â
You smiled. âYou can say no.â
âDonât be an idiot.â He looked up at you, and his voice cracked just slightly. âOf course Iâll do it.â
You hadnât expected to get emotional. Not really. But hearing it out loudâthat heâd do it, that he meant itâit undid something small and knotted in your chest.
âYouâre one of the best things that ever happened to me, you know that?â he said.
âI didnât have a plan when you showed up that first year. Just thought, âthis kid needs a break,â and next thing I knew you were stealing my chair and bitching about suture kits like weâd been doing this for a decade.â
You laughed, throat thick. âThat sounds about right.â
âIâm gonna need a suit now, huh?â
âYou donât have to wear a suit.â
âOh, no, no. Iâm going full emotional support tuxedo. Iâm showing up with cufflinks. Maybe a cane.â
You rolled your eyes. âYouâre unbelievable.â
He stood thenâslower than he used to, one hand on the railingâand looked at you with that same warmth he always tried to hide under sarcasm and caffeine.
âYou did good, kid.â
You gave a crooked smile. âThanks.â
The music started before you were ready.
It was quiet at first. Just the soft swell of strings rising behind the door. But your hands were shaking, your throat was tight, and everything felt too big all of a sudden.
Robby looked over, standing next to you in the little alcove just off the chapel doors, tie only mostly straight, boutonniere slightly crooked like heâd pinned it on in the car.
âYouâre breathing like youâre about to code out,â he said gently.
You gave him a half-laugh, half-gasp. âI think I might.â
He tilted his head. âYou okay?â
âNo,â you whispered, eyes already burning. âI donât knowâmaybe. Yes. I justâJackâs out there. And everyoneâs watching. What if I trip? Or ugly cry? Or completely blank and forget how to walk?â
Robby didnât flinch. He just reached out and took your handâsteady and instinctiveâhis thumb brushing over your knuckles the way he had that night during your intern year, when youâd locked yourself in the on-call room and couldnât stop shaking after your first failed intubation. He didnât say anything then either. Just sat beside you on the floor and held your hand like thisâanchoring, patient, there.
âHey,â Robby saidâsteady, but quieter now. âYouâre walking toward the only guy Iâve ever seen drop everythingâwithout thinkingâjust because you looked a little off walking out of a shift.â
You blinked, chest already starting to tighten.
âIâve watched him learn you,â Robby continued. âSlow. Quiet. Like he was memorizing every version of you without making it a thing. The tired version. The pissed-off version. The one who forgets to eat and pretends sheâs fine.â
He let out a quiet laugh, still looking right at you.
âIâve seen Jack do a thoracotomy with one hand and hold pressure with the other. Iâve seen him walk into scenes nobody else wanted, shirt soaked, pulse steady, like he already knew how it would end. He doesnât rattle. Hell, I watched him take a punch from a drunk in triage and not even blink.â
His hand tightened around yoursâjust slightly.
âThatâs how I know,â he said. âThat this is it. Because Jackâthe guy whoâs walked into burning scenes with blood on his boots and didnât even flinchâlooked scared shitless the second he realized he couldnât picture his life without you. Not because he didnât think youâd say yes. But because he knew it meant something. That this wasnât something he could compartmentalize or walk away from if it got hard. Loving you? Thatâs the one thing he can't afford to lose.â
Your eyes burned instantly. âYouâre gonna make me cry.â
âGood. Less pressure on me to be the first one.â
You gave him a teary smile. âYou ready?â
Robby offered his arm. âKid, Iâve been ready since the day you stopped listing âN/Aâ under emergency contact.â
The doors creaked open.
You sucked in a breath.
And thenâ
The music swelled.
Not the dramatic kindâno orchestral swell, no overblown strings. Just the soft, deliberate rise of something warm and low and steady. Something that sounded like home.
The crowd stood. Rows of people from different pieces of your life, blurred behind the blur in your eyes. You couldnât see any one of them clearlyânot Dana, not Langdon, not Whitaker fidgeting with his tieâbut you felt them. Their hush. Their stillness.
And at the far end of the aisle stood Jackâdressed in his Army blues.
Not a rented tux. Not a tailored suit.
His uniform.
Pressed. Precise. Quietly immaculate.
It wasnât a performance. It wasnât for show. It was him.
He hadnât worn it to make a statement. He wore it because there were people in the pews who knew him from beforeâbefore the ER, before Pittsburgh, before you. Men and women who had bled beside him, saved lives beside him, watched him shoulder more than anyone shouldâand never once seen him like this.
Undone. Open.
There were people in his family whoâd worn that uniform long before him. And people heâd served with who taught him what it meant to wear it well. Not for attention. Not for tradition. But because it meant something. A history. A duty. A vow he never stopped honoringâeven long after the war ended.
And when you saw him standing thereâdress blues crisp under the soft chapel light, shoulders squared, mouth tight, eyes fullâyou didnât see someone dressed for a ceremony.
You saw him.
All of him. The past, the present, the parts that had been broken and rebuilt a dozen times over. The weight heâd never put down. The man heâd become when no one else was watching.
Jack didnât flinch as the doors opened. He didnât smile, didnât wipe his eyes. He just stood thereâsteady, quiet, letting himself feel it.
Letting you see it.
And somehow, that meant more than anything he couldâve said.
The room stayed still, breath held around you.
Until, from somewhere near the front, Javadiâs whisper sliced through the quiet:
âIs heâoh my God, is Abbot crying?â
Mohan choked on a mint. Someoneâmaybe Santosâaudibly gasped.
And halfway down the aisleâwhen your breath caught and your knees went just a little looseâRobby spoke, voice low and smug, just loud enough for you to hear.
âWell,â Robby muttered, voice low and smug, âremind me to collect $20 from Myrna next shift.â
You glanced at him, confused. âWhat?â
He didnât look at you. Just kept his eyes forward, deadpan. âNothing. Justâturns out you werenât the only one betting on whether Jack would cry.â
Your breath hitched. âWhat?â
âShe said he was carved from Army-grade stone and wouldnât shed a tear if the hospital burned down with him inside. I disagreed.â
You gawked at him.
âShe told meâand I quoteââIf Dr. Y/L/N ever changes her mind, tell her to step aside, because I will climb that man like a jungle gym.ââ
You almost tripped. âRobby.â
âSheâs got her sights set. Calls him âsergeant sweetheartâ when the nurses arenât looking.â
You clamped a hand over your mouth, laughing through the tears already welling. And the altar still felt a mile away.
He finally glanced at you, face softening. âI said she didnât stand a chance.â
You blinked fast.
âBecause from the second he saw you?â Robby added, voice lower now. âThat was it. He was done for.â
You had never felt so chosen. So sure. So completely loved by someone who once thought emotions were best left unsaid.
Robby must have felt the shift in your weight, because he pulled you in slightly closer. His handâbroad and warmâcurved around your arm like it had a thousand times before. Steady. Grounding. Father-coded to the core.
âYou got this,â he murmured. âLook at him.â
You did.
And Jack was still thereâstill crying. Not bothering to wipe his eyes. Not hiding it. Like he knew nothing else mattered more than this moment. Than you.
When you finally reached the end of the aisle, Jack stepped forward before the officiant could speak. Like instinct.
Robby didnât move at first.
He just looked at youâlong and hard, eyes bright.
Then looked at Jack.
Then back at you.
His hand lingered at the small of your back.
And his voice, when it came, was rougher than usual. âYou good?â
You nodded, too full to speak.
He nodded back. âAlright.â
And thenâquietly, like it was something he wasnât ready to do but always meant toâhe took your hand, and placed it gently into Jackâs.
Jack didnât look away from you. His hand curled tight around yours like it was a lifeline.
Robby cleared his throat. Stepped back just a little. And you saw itâthe tremble at the corner of his mouth. The way he blinked too many times in a row.
He wasnât immune to it.
Not this time.
âYou take care of her,â he said, voice thick. âYou hear me?â
Jackâeyes glassy, jaw tightâjust nodded. One firm, reverent nod.
âI do,â he said.
And for once, that wasnât a promise.
It was a fact.
A vow already lived.
Robby stepped back.
A quiet shift. No words, no fuss. Just one last glanceâfull of something that lived between pride and griefâand then he stepped aside, slow and careful, like his body knew he had to let go before his heart was ready.
And then it was just you and Jack.
He stepped in just a little closerâlike the space between you, however small, had finally become too much. His hand tightened around yours, his breath shallow, like holding it together had taken everything he had.
The moment he saw youâreally saw youâsomething behind his eyes cracked wide open.
He didnât smile. Not right away.
He didnât say anything clever. Didnât reach for you like someone confident or composed.
It was like heâd been waiting for this moment his whole lifeâand still couldnât believe it was real.
âFuck,â he breathed. âYouâre gonna kill me.â
You tried to laugh, but it crackedâcaught somewhere between joy and everything else swelling behind your ribs.
The dress fit like a memory and a dream at once. Sleek. Understated. A silhouette that didnât beg for attention, but held it all the same. Clean lines. Long sleeves. A bodice tailored just enough to feel timeless. A low back. No shimmer. No lace. Just quiet, deliberate elegance.
Just you.
Jack took a breathâslow and shaky.
âYouâre the most beautiful thing Iâve ever seen,â he said, like he wasnât entirely sure he was speaking out loud.
You blinked fast, vision swimming.
âYouâre not supposed to make me cry before we even say anything,â you managed, voice trembling.
He gave a small, broken laugh. âThat makes two of us.â
You could feel the crowd behind you. Every attending. Every nurse. Every person who thought they knew Jack Abbotâstoic in trauma bays, voice sharp, pulse steady no matter what walked through the doors.
And now? They were seeing him like this.
Glass-eyed. Soft-spoken. Undone.
Jack looked at you again. Really looked.
âI knew I was gonna love you,â he said. âBut I didnât know itâd be like this.â
Your breath caught. âLike what?â
He smiledâslow, quiet, reverent.
âLike peace.â
You blinked so fast it almost turned into a sob. âGod. I hate you.â
âNo, you donât.â
âNo, I donât,â you whispered, smiling through it.
Behind you, the music began to fade. The officiant cleared his throat.
Jack didnât move. Didnât look away. His thumb brushed over your knuckles like it had done a thousand times beforeâonly this time, it meant something.
âIâve never been more sure of anything,â he said softly. âNot in combat. Not in med school. Not even the first time I intubated someone on a moving Humvee.â
You laughed, choked and real. âYouâre ridiculous.â
âIâm yours,â he corrected. âThatâs the important part.â
The officiant spoke then, calling for quiet.
But Jack leaned in one last time, voice so low it barely touched the air.
âTell me when to breathe,â he said.
You smiled, heart wrecked and steady all at once.
âIâve got you.â
And Jack Abbotâcombat medic, ER attending, man who spent a lifetime holding everything togetherâclosed his eyes and let himself believe you.
Because for once in his life, he didnât have to be ready for the worst.
He just had to stand beside the best thing that ever happened to him.
And say yes.
As the General of the Roman army, General Marcus has strengthened his reputation as a strong, capable, brutal man. You can't help but want him though, and he can't seem to help himself either.
a/n; There is no overarching story for these two, there will be no end, I want this to be a world we can dip back into at any time. Please feel free to send asks about them, to ask for headcanons and details. A warning though; this isn't a relationship in the traditional sense. There is a huge power-imbalance and for the purposes of the story, it will not change. We're also going quite rogue here since the movie hasn't come out. (Edit; I lied. They have feelings and the story is definitely going somewhere. There is still room to dip in between the beginning and the end though so ask away and I will make it work!)
Every post will have it's own warnings
I. the general
II. the baths
III. crossing the line
IV. unclean
V. greedy
VI. convivium
VII. distraction
VIII. attack on the villa
IX. too close
X. vita nova
Asks and previews (before chapter X)
Sneak peek of chapter IX
Sneak peek of chapter X
sneak peek of chapter XI
corrupted (ask)
soak (ask)
covetous (ask)
regrets (ask)
ache (ask)
lesson (ask)
Synopsis: After taking a bad fall, Y/N gets rushed to the ED of Pittsburg Trauma Medical Hospital only to come face to face with a man she had a one-night stand with, and who ghosted her that same morning without a word - Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch. As if her bad day couldn't get any worse than it was...
Pairing: Dr. Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x fem!Reader (age-gap relationship (Reader is 26, Robby is implied 46-48))
Genre: angst, fluff, SMUT
Warnings: descriptions of wounds (open breaks), puke, swearing, etc., SMUT
Word count: 13,320 (yeah, this sort of started out like a cute little chaotic story and became... this. I might make more parts to these two, people like it enough, because I already have some ideas, and ideas for other stories too also, let's please pretend like Robby didn't have the worst shift of his life and everyone is happy and alive :) )
Please don't copy my work or repost it onto other platforms. all of the characters belong to HBO Max.
In all honesty, Y/N thought Sara was overreacting. There was no need to be hauled to the ER on a Monday morning, at seven AM. So, what if sheâd slipped in the shower? So, what if sheâd hit her head against the towel rack? So, what if sheâd sprained her ankle? Y/N could just pop a couple of Tylenol and be on her merry way, but no.
           When Sara had heard the thud and the subsequent crash of shampoo and conditioner bottles, sheâd rushed inside the bathroom only to find Y/N sprawled out in all her naked glory. She cursed the stupid bathroom latch their landlord refused to change.
After Sara had had her fill of laughter, she helped Y/N stand, get somewhat dressed (a loose cotton shirt and some shorts), and helped her hobble down the stairs of their apartment, her leg in a make-shift splint of dishtowels and left-over wood paneling from an IKEA dresser.
           A groan of protest escaped her as Sara parked in the hospital parking lot and rushed to the passenger door, opening it for Y/N and helping her get out.
           âYou are worse than my mother,â she huffed as she leaned her weight onto her good leg. âI am completely fine.â
           Sara sighed, and Y/N rolled her eyes, knowing what was coming. âMy love,â she said. âMy other half. The Yin to my Yang, the milk to my matcha. My partner in crime for whom I would kill and/or dispose of a body. I can quite literally see the fucking bone sticking out of your lower leg.â
           âItâs a sprain,â Y/N gritted through clenched teeth.
           âItâs an open fucking break and the fact that you refused to have an ambulance called, boggles my fucking mind, yet here we are.â
           To that, Y/N had nothing to say, but still, she thought Sara was being way too overdramatic. And honestly, if she kept mentioning the real situation of her sprain, making her remember the sound of the snap, how it had been the worst sound sheâd ever heard, and Y/N had spent more than twenty years listening to her brother singing in the shower, before she moved to Pittsburg for her job, she would put Sara in a hospital bed herself. And then they could be the ED besties.
           But the worst was the pain that came when Sara reminded Y/N of why she had to go to the hospital.
           It had been a miracle no neighbor had called the cops or the EMTs themselves, though it didnât necessarily comfort Y/N either. If she could scream bloody murder like that and nobody batted an eye, it didnât say anything good about the complex they lived in.
           One look down had confirmed Y/Nâs worst fears â she had, in fact, broken her leg. Not only that, it was an open break where part of her lower femur was sticking right out of the meat of her calf. For the first few moments, sheâd been in such a shock, that the only thought running through her head was â I look like a poor manâs version of a Disney turkey leg. Then sheâd started screaming. And that had made her puke.
           Right then and there, still lying half out of the shower, half on the floor, sheâd emptied her stomach. There hadnât been much in it, just the cup of water sheâd drank when sheâd awoken, but still. At least Y/N had been in the bathroom when it had happened. Tiles were easier to clean up than carpet, and she already felt bad enough Sara would have to wash the floor.
           But now, as some form of punishment, no doubt, Sara was helping Y/N hobble towards the emergency department of Pittsburg Trauma Medical Hospital, when a sad-looking man noticed them and rushed inside, grabbing a wheelchair, and getting by Y/Nâs side in a matter of a second.
           âHere, sit down.â The man, Dennis Whitaker he introduced himself, took hold of her other bicep and moved the wheelchair behind her.
           âIâm fine,â she groaned. âIâm not an invalid. I can make it inside on my own. Besides, that wheelchair could be used for someone that actually needs it.â
           âYou actually need it.â Sara levelled a gaze at her. âAnd I will make you a fucking invalid because I will clock you so hard in the head, you will have a concussion, if you donât have one from the fall.â
            For a tense second, Y/N stood (or wobbled) her ground, Y/E/C eyes locked onto Saraâs hazel ones which were slowly narrowing with each passing moment until she cursed and said, âAlright fine.â Together Whitaker and Sara lowered the injured woman into the wheelchair. âGod, I hate your mom-stares.â
           âItâs the only way to get you to do anything in terms of taking care of yourself.â
           âItâs not!â Y/N protested. âIâll have you know, I made myself an omelet yesterday for breakfast. Veggies and all.â
           âYeah, after I berated you that a stale Coke from three days ago, isnât actual breakfast.â Sara walked side by side as Whitaker pushed the wheelchair into the madhouse that was the emergency department.
           It was fascinating to observe the situation as an outsider â nurses and doctors were like level-headed owls, their heads swiveling this way and that way, as they assessed the patients and their statuses, while the residents and patients themselves, not all, but quite a bunch, were like headless chickens, rushing around and trying to prioritize afflictions or become a priority to the doctors.
           Codes were called left and right, people moved from one side to the other, snapping on gloves and donning protective gear, and in the center of it all, was the command post â the nurseâs station which Whitaker had wheeled her to.
           âDana, is there a room available?â he addressed a slim, blonde woman, probably the one in charge.
           âRoom six is available, whatâs the, oh,â she stopped mid-sentence as she noticed Y/N and the bone sticking out of her leg.
           âI donât mind waiting,â she gave her a sheepish smile. âThereâs probably loads of people before me. Besides, itâs just a sprain.â
           âWell, thatâs probably one of the worst sprains Iâve ever seen,â Dana deadpanned as she motioned with her head towards someone behind them.
           Y/N shrugged. âWell, I am just special like that.â
           âYeah, maybe in the head,â Sara grumbled as she gave the charge nurse all the necessary info for the moment. âSpeaking of which â she also hit her head when she went down with her⌠sprain.â
           Danaâs lips quirked up as she hummed and tapped something on her iPad, weaving around the table, leaving Whitaker to follow her like a lost puppy as they moved to the room Y/N was now assigned to. âWeâll schedule you a CT ASAP.â
           Y/N turned her head to look at her best friend. âGiven how this little trip was your idea, youâre paying off my medical debt.â
           âJust let these nice doctors and nurses take care of you.â Sara pinched the bridge of her nose. âBecause quite honestly, Iâm not too into the idea of searching for a new roommate. Do you know how many creeps Iâd have to go through? And what if the one normal one I find has a fatal flaw?â
           âSuch as?â
           âI dunno. What if they hate musicals?â
           âOh, the tragedy.â Y/N pressed a hand against her chest as they wheeled her inside the room.
           There was another presence there, a young doctor, probably late twenties or early thirties. A cute little dimple on his chin, dark hair, and blue eyes. Reminded her a bit of the guy from Air Bud, if she squinted a bit.
           âMy nameâs Dr. Langdon,â he introduced himself, giving Y/N a reassuring smile. âAnd this is Dennis Whitaker, our fourth-year medical student. Would it be alright, if he and another one of our residents observed the situation today? This is a teaching hospital, but it is well within your rights to refuse.â
           She shook her head. âObserve away. Not much I can hide.â
           âAlright, thank you.â He ventured out for a quick second only to come back with a young woman who introduced herself as Dr. Mel King, a second-year resident. âOkay,â Dr. Langdon said. âLetâs get you onto the bed and see what weâre working with.â
           The three medical professionals surrounded her and helped Y/N move from the wheelchair on the paper-covered bed, without jostling her leg too much, but it was enough.
           So far, sheâd been able to take her mind off the pain by distracting herself â she bickered with Sara, recited the script of The Hunger Games movie in her head while fantasising about a blond Josh Hutcherson, because Peeta was just elite like that. Sheâd even gone so far as to go over the division table, but now, as more attention was being placed on the broken leg, it started to hurt more and more. It was like Y/N mind-over-mattered an itching spot left by a mosquito by chanting âItâs not itchyâ over and over in her head, but the second she stopped, the itching came back in full force.
           âSo,â Dr. Dimple, she nicknamed him in her head, started. âWhat happened?â
           Y/N sighed, looking at the ceiling. âCan I just give you the not-humiliating version and say Iâm a klutz?â
           He gave her a charming smile as a nurse prepped an IV line. âUnfortunately, we need to know beyond âclumsyâ. The environment where this accident happened is important.â
"It could introduce pathogens into the wound," Mel, as Dr. King had requested to be called, said.
           Y/N chewed on her bottom lip before muttering, âI slipped in the shower and sprained my leg. And then got assaulted by some shampoo and conditioner bottles⌠and then I threw up.â
           âAnd donât forget the head!â Sara said from the door where she still stood, observing the work happening.
           Y/N threw her a knowing smirk. âNever do. And I havenât had any complaints yet.â
           âThe throwing up could indicate a concussion,â Whitaker said. âDanaâs already scheduled a CT. And in terms of the leg, you actually have an open fra-,â
           Y/N took hold of Whitakerâs bicep like heâd done so for her when heâd helped wheel her inside the emergency department. âPlease listen to me when I say this â unless you want me to hurl all over you, and trust me, I can aim, the only thing I have, is a sprain. Got it?â
           He gulped and nodded, stepping away from Y/N like a man whoâd gotten sprayed by too many fluids in one day and didnât want to be anywhere near the danger zone. âLoud and clear Miss Sprained-Ankle-Woman.â
           âGood.â The nausea thatâd started creeping up her belly subsided. âBecause I can deal with you people having to do things, but if I have to actually listen to any of it, or think about it, I will be sick.â
           âWe can give you some anti-nausea medication for that,â Dr. Dimple soothed. âBut first, weâll get you a CT, and then weâll have a surgery room prepped for you because you need to get this reset as quickly as possible. You will probably have some metal plates and screws to hold the uh⌠sprain together, and then a cast for about six to eight weeks.â
           âGreat,â Y/N grumbled. âThis is just fucking great. This is exactly how I wanted to spend my vacation, before, oh⌠oh, absolutely not.â Y/Nâs eyes widened to a comically large size as she looked past her room and into the waiting area. âSara, you need to get me out of here right the fuck now.â
           âHey, woah, what is going on?â Dr. Langdon rushed to where Y/N was trying to get the IV line out. âPlease don't do that, you'll only hurt yourself more.â
           âY/N, whatâs going on?â Saraâs brows were pulled tight in a frown, as she tried to help Dr. King get the oxygen monitor back onto her finger. âYou need surgery, for fuckâs sake.â
           âItâs him,â she hissed, not taking her gaze away from where itâd locked on. âAnd I donât want to spend a second anywhere near the dick.â
           âWho?â Sara swiveled her head to look beyond the glass separating them from the chaos beyond. âWhoâs the dick?â
           âHim.â
           And then four pairs of eyes locked onto the man standing and talking with the charge nurse at The Hub, Y/N was glaring at.
           âDo â do you two know each other?â Dr. Dimple asked. âDo you feel unsafe with him around?â
           âYeah, you could say we know one another,â she scowled and crossed her arms as Mel managed to finally reattach the oxygen monitor, all of their attention onto her. âThatâs the dude I hooked up with two weeks ago, and completely ghosted me that same morning.â
           Every single head snapped to look back at Dr. Michael âRobbyâ Robinavitch, whoâd also finally noticed Y/N was at his workplace, as a patient no less. His eyebrows were right up to his hairline, brown eyes wide with disbelief and mouth agape as she glowered at the older man.
           It was quite a surreal moment â all of these capable doctors and residents and nurses, stunned by the information so bad, that they almost seemed to forget Y/N was there. She wondered what was going through their heads, as this seemed like it wasnât a regular occurrence. Which stung even more â if Michael had been a fuckboy, she could take it, but it didnât seem so. So, what was wrong with Y/N that had made him run away after the night theyâd spent together?
           When theyâd met at the bar, he had told her he was an emergency department attending. The big boss of his little duckling residents, dutifully running the hospital department with the help of the nurses.
Why, when Sara had finally managed to get Y/N inside the car, it hadnât occurred to her, he would work in this particular hospital. Just why?
Y/N couldnât say. Maybe sheâd hoped he worked the night shifts. Maybe sheâd hoped, he worked somewhere else, or even out of town, but, of course, for whatever sins sheâd committed, karma couldnât do her a solid one.
           Sara gasped, rushing by her side as Y/N watched Michael flounder and try and decide what to do â whether to interfere and face the music or run away from the hospital. He apparently chose the latter as he twisted on his heel and high-tailed it to the other end of the department, leaving a cackling Dana behind.
           âThatâs him?â Sara strained her neck. âThatâs the hot doctor?â
           Y/N scoffed. âThe one and only. Couldnât even leave a fucking note or something. Like I can take a hint a one-night-stand is a one-night-stand, alright? But donât just fucking bolt out of the door like your ass is on fire before the other party wakes up. Fucking dickhead.â
           âWell, maybe it wasnât as fun of a night for him, as you thought, and he didnât want to hurt your feelings.â Sara raised a brow.
           âOh, trust me,â Y/N smirked. âIt was a very fun night for him. I would know. I was there, and you canât fake the kind of shaking. Four hours will do that to a guy,â she winked and touched the tips of her pointer finger and thumb in an A-Okay sign.
           âYeah,â it was Dr. Dimple smiling at her, the grin on his face almost wolfish in nature. âYeah, you are absolutely my new favorite person in the world.â
           However, whatever he wanted to say or ask, was cut short when Dana returned to inform that her CT slot was coming up, and so Y/N was wheeled away, not daring to look at Michael as they passed one another in the hallway.
           As the results came back for a minor concussion, the anesthesiologist informed, that they recommended a spinal for the surgery, while the team prepper, but Y/N shot it down immediately.
           âAbsolutely not. Look, I know itâs not safe to go to sleep after a concussion, but I will not be listening to the sounds of some bone-carpenter crunching on my leg. Put me under,â she gave him her most pathetic look. âPlease.â
           The specialist still tried to argue, but he couldnât do it much longer, as Y/N needed surgery as soon as possible, so after five minutes of strongly recommending the spinal, he relented and in half an hour, Y/N had managed to get hers â she was out like a light, without a sound in her ears.
           It was the best sleep sheâd ever had in her life. Like floating on a cloud, surrounded by doves and angels singing her lullabies. She never wanted to wake up, but something was rousing her out of the blissful state.
           A large warm hand around her palm, thumb rubbing the top of it, was soothing her senses. It was like hot chocolate after being out in the sow. Or sitting by a fireplace with a blanket wrapped around your shoulders.
           âGood afternoon, Miss Sprained-Ankle,â a low, rumbly voice greeted Y/N as she floated back into consciousness. Her eyes locked onto two gentle, brown ones, and despite the medication, she knew she wasnât hallucinating him.
           Michaelâs face was beard-covered like it had been when theyâd met. He still had the same worry lines on his forehead and the crowâs feet around his eyes. Y/N had said she liked those the best.
           âIt shows youâve smiled and laughed despite everything else,â sheâd informed him over the rim of her Pornstar Martini.
           She couldnât truly imagine just how draining his line of work was, both physically and mentally, but the laugh lines she could see hiding under the beard, harmonizing with those around his eyes, was a feature Y/N had noticed first.
           âSo,â she slurred her tongue a swollen mass of sandpaper in her mouth, and Michael noticed that, holding a cup of water against her lips until sheâd had her fill. âDo I have to keep breaking bones to wake up with you next to me?â
           âI hope not.â With gentleness Y/N knew he possessed, yet didnât expect, he brushed away a droplet thatâd slipped past her mouth, and onto her cheek. âI hope this is the only time I ever have to see you in such a state.â
           âCanât promise that,â she shook her head. âI do have a reputation to uphold.â
           âYeah?â amusement was evident on his weary face. âAnd what kind of reputation is that?â
           âWhen I was in first grade, on the first day of school, I broke my arm. And then like a few months later, I smashed my face against a radiator and split my lip open. Still have a scar,â she pointed right below her right nostril where a sliver of lighter skin was. âAnd then, but that was like third grade or something, I smashed my head against a metal railing and split my head open. I could even push my fingers inside and scrape my -,â
           âOkay, I understand,â Michael interrupted her and pulled the hand that was tapping against the hairline on her forehead. âYou are an ED connoisseur, but please, donât make this a habit.â
           âDamn, straight I am.â Y/N gave a confident nod, but before Michael could ask anything else, she said, âYou know what I donât get? Like why did my leg bone hurt while sticking out of my body, but my teeth that are sticking out right now, donât?â She clacked them for emphasis. âTheyâre outside bones.â
           A soft smile bloomed on Michaelâs face as he brushed a strand of hair away from her forehead. She could feel someone had put her hair in a protective style and had to wonder if it had been the man beside her. But that wouldnât make any sense. Why would he care like that for her?
           âFor one,â he muttered. âYou broke your fibula â the smaller bone in your lower leg, and in doing so, hurt the surrounding things like muscles and skin. That is one reason why you felt such pain. And two â if you broke a tooth, it would hurt too. Your cavities hurt, donât they?â
           âMmm,â a self-satisfied smile bloomed on Y/Nâs face. âI wouldnât know. Iâve never had a cavity.â
           âThatâs good. Dentists arenât cheap.â As a response she just clacked her teeth again, making Michael laugh. âHow are you feeling? Any pain? Nausea?â
           âNope, I am A-Okay. Honestly, that was like the best sleep of my life. WellâŚâ Y/N pouted, taking her gaze away from Michaelâs. âThat night when I fell asleep with you is also up in the Top 5, but then I woke up and⌠you know⌠you werenât there.â
           She was obviously delirious from the medication being pumped through her veins, but much like when Y/N was drunk, she was a throw-up-remember-everything kind of a girl, instead of a black-out-drunk. Besides, it wasnât like she could run anywhere. Quite literally.
           Michael sighed, dragging a hand down his face, visibly cringing at her words. âAbout that⌠I â yeah, I think the only thing I can say is Iâm sorry. For, you know, ghosting, as you youngsters say.â
           â âS alright.â Y/N shrugged, trying to act nonchalant, as if the second sheâd seen him, she hadnât been ready to bolt. âIâm over it.â
           âNo, no itâs not okay. I shouldnât have done that. Because that night was⌠great. It was amazing, actually. And everything leading up to the uh, you⌠you know, the...â he cleared his throat, and a smirk pulled up on Y/Nâs lips.
           âThe sex? Come on, you can say it in your big old man age. Itâs just three letters.â
           âJesus Christ.â Michael rubbed his neck as a slight pink shade crawled up his neck, which made Y/N let out a chuckle at how uncomfortable he looked talking about this. Maybe it was time to let this go, for his sake and her own sanity.
           âLook, if it makes you feel any better,â Y/N shifted to the edge of the mattress and patted the side of her bed, so he could sit down. After asking if she was sure, he did take the offered space. âI â Iâve been treating you a bit unfairly with this. I think my ego was a bit crushed after waking up and not having you there, but, umm⌠youâre off the hook. Besides, I think Iâm in your debt with all of this. Your team is amazing.â
           âTheyâre pretty great, arenât they?â he mumbled, one of his hands having moved to toy with the wristband the hospital had assigned to Y/N. âBut still, how I reacted then, and even earlier in the morning⌠it wasnât right. I mean, Iâm pushing fifty for fuckâs sake. Thatâs not what someone my age does.â
           âSo what?â she raised a brow. âThe issue is you think youâre a cradle-robber? Because youâre no more that than I am a grave robber. Iâm twenty-six, Michael,â she turned her palm up hoping heâd accept it and slide his hand in hers. After a moment of hesitancy, he did, and Y/N squeezed it in reassurance. âI mean, if you think youâre doing something bad, by having slept with someone two decades younger than you, Iâll have you know, according to regency times, as a woman whoâll be turning twenty-seven this year, Iâm pretty much a decrepit old spinster.â
           Michael let out a soft laugh as his fingers trailed the lines on Y/Nâs palm. âYou have your whole life ahead of you. Me? Iâm your probably dadâs age.â
           âAnd looking hotter than ever, if you ask me.â
           âYeah? You think so?â He asked as Y/N hummed in affirmation. âWell then, for a decrepit old spinster, you are beautiful. And acting with much more grace than I deserved or deserve.â
           Something in the way he said those last few words made her heart squeeze. âMichael⌠of course you deserve grace.â
           âYouâre being far too good to me⌠youâre far too good for meâŚâ
           Y/Nâs brows furrowed at that. Slowly, she attempted to rise in a sitting position, but she didnât get far before Michael had his arms around her waist, like theyâd been two weeks ago, pushing a pillow to stabilize the small of her back. Once he was sure she was comfortable, he opened an apple juice box and handed it to her.
           âTo get your sugar up.â
           But she just stared at him, only reaching for the little carton after heâd resumed his previous sitting position. âIs that what this is about?â she asked. âSome insecurity you think I deserve better than you? Because I can decide those things for myself. I am an adult. With a fully-developed frontal lobe, mind you.â
           He took in a deep breath, held it for a second, then released it, and Y/N watched that whatever kind of decision heâd come to, had released a certain tension thatâd been accumulating in his body. âKind of, I guess. But mostlyâŚâ he swallowed, then nodded to himself, eyes trained on her wristband. âMostly I got scared.â
           âOf what?â Y/N tilted her head. âI mean, I know my morning breath probably isnât that attractive, and the smeared makeup made me look like a coked-out raccoon, but -,â
           âNo,â Michael shook his head, chuckling. His cheeks were reddish at her words, but as he lifted his eyes to hers, there was a grateful look to them. Like he was thankful she wasnât making fun of him even in his ripe old age. âYou,â he stumbled over his words a bit, âwhen I saw you there, sleeping by my side like you belonged⌠I donât think Iâve ever seen anything more beautiful than that. And thatâs when I thought to myself â if I worked up the courage, could there be more mornings like that? Could I make you breakfast and coffee one day? Maybe Iâd get the privilege of falling asleep next to you as we watch movies at night. And that scared me.â
           âThe possible future?â
           âWanting that possible future, because that feeling, the one that started to grow right here,â he tapped the center of his chest. âI couldnât think straight. So, I had to go.â
           âI mean,â Y/N swallowed hard. âThat is a lot to imagine after only a few hours together.â
           âDoes that⌠creep you out? âCause itâs totally understandable if it does. I mean Jesus, Iâm old⌠and youâre so young.â
           âNo, it doesnât.â And she meant it when she said it. âI find it actually quite endearing, but you can stop being so hung-up on the age difference. If you think there might be some daddy issues on my side, I can assure you â thereâs none. I quite like my dad, and I definitely donât see you as such a figure. Not after the things you did to me. âCause, quite honestly, sex with you was probably the best dicking-down Iâve had in a year.â
           If Michael had been drinking anything, Y/N was sure he would have choked with how he sputtered at her words. âWell, uh, yeah, I uh⌠Iâm glad you⌠enjoyed it.â
           âI did. And I know you enjoyed it too,â her smile was nothing short of wicked.
           âYeah, and apparently now the rest of the residents and nurses and doctors know it too?â Michael raised his brows at her.
           It took Y/N a while to realize he was talking about when sheâd gotten admitted and spilt the beans on their night together, implying their copious amount of copulation. âHey, donât shoot the messenger, but Iâd like to think your reputation has now gone sky-high between the female nurses and doctors. Maybe the guys and theys as well. But I do apologize for talking about your private life while at your work. In my defense, until that very moment, I didnât know you worked here. And well, I was pissed.â
           âYou and your mouth will get you in trouble one day,â Michael pointed at her.
           âYeah? Would you like to put something in it, to shut me up? Last time, you really liked it when I -,â
           âOkay, trouble, thatâs enough.â Even though his words had a finality to them, humor glowed on his features. He seemed relaxed. Content even, as he took the now empty apple juice box Y/N had been sipping on this whole time.
           âYou on a break?â She started scooting down the bed once more, and Michael instantly helped her get situated.
           âWant to get rid of me so quickly?â
           âNo. Itâs just youâre spending an awfully long time with me. Donât you have other patients to check in on? I donât want you to waste your time if you need to get to someone else. Or maybe grab a bite to eat? Iâm fairly sure doctors donât know how to have a good work-life balance, despite continuously recommending it to us, mere mortals.â
           âTime with you isnât a waste.â
           Oh.
           Oh, how badly did Y/N want to rip off the little wires connecting her to the heart monitor, because had Michael not turned the sound off, she was sure the whole hospital would be hearing it go nuts at his words, the squiggling beat of it a treat for only Michael this time, because when he noticed it, a smirk bloomed on his mouth. He didnât say anything, but he didnât need to, not when he murmured, twining their fingers together, âI want to kiss you so bad.â
           âI definitely wonât be opposed to that.â Y/Nâs answer might have come way too quickly, but she was beyond feeling embarrassed about wanting him. âYou have permission to kiss away. For as long as possible. All day, every day, whenever you want to.â
           âWell, thank you for that,â Michael chuckled, cupping her cheek, and she leaned into the touch. âBut⌠not right now. Let me take you out on a proper date. Let me do this right.â
           âOh my God, seriously?â Y/N whined throwing her head back. âYouâre gonna make me wait? Especially after that whole speech and whatnot? You are a cruel, cruel man Dr. Michael Robinavitch.â
           Slowly, without breaking eye contact, he leaned to hover over Y/N, a golden necklace slipping from the inside of his shirt and dangling before her. She wanted to pull it between her teeth like sheâd done so during their one night together. It took every dwindling ounce of willpower not to.
           âMaybe, I just want you aching. And yearning. You were the one who said men donât yearn enough nowadays. But I have. For you, for two whole god-damned weeks. Now itâs your turn.â
           It was pathetic how Y/N wanted to cry and whimper. âBut I didnât even do anything! You were the one that ran out! Why am I being punished for your actions?â
           âDo you â do you not want to go on a date with me?â
           âI do, but Iâd rather you rail me as soon as possible.â
           âWell, for one,â Michael tried to continue on as if Y/Nâs words hadnât made heat creep up his face, but he could only do so much. He was a human, after all. âYouâre not allowed any strenuous activities until youâve got a clean bill of health. And two, all teasing aside, I want to do this properly. I want to do right by you this time.â
           âWhy would you?â she exasperated. âI wasnât complaining when you didnât do it right by me, and Iâm certainly not going to if you suddenly decide to stop being chivalrous. Maybe even right here. We could recreate some scene from Greyâs Anatomy?â Y/N wiggled her brows at him, eliciting a deep rumble of a chuckle.
           âGreyâs is just a malpractice lawsuit after a malpractice lawsuit, and I, unlike the characters there, donât want my medical license to be revoked. Until you get discharged, Iâm one of your doctors.â
           âMy hot doctor, you mean.â
           The sigh that left Michael was not weary or a worn-out kind of noise. Rather it was a resigned I-guess-this-is-my-life-now kind of a sigh, especially combined with the endearing look on his face, it made Y/N feel warm all over.
           Slowly, as they talked a bit more, her eyes began to droop, exhaustion from the morning, from the surgery and the subsequent consequences settling in once more. âWill you stay?â she asked as Michael brushed a knuckle along her jaw. âJust until I fall asleep?â
           âOf course,â Michael took her hand in his, sitting down by her side again, as he pressed a kiss to her wrist. âAnd I⌠I wish I could promise Iâll be here when you wake up, but I, -â
           âI know,â Y/N interrupted him with a soft and understating smile. âBy that point, youâll probably be off saving lives. Itâs why Iâm not asking you to.â
           âIâll try though.â He promised.
           âOkay.â
           And with her hand still in Michaelâs, Y/N drifted off once again without even realizing it was pitch-black outside, and Michael hadnât been wearing his shift scrubs. He should have long been home resting, and yet, he hadnât been able to leave her. Not like he did before.
           By the time she awoke early the next morning, Y/N was clearheaded, and yet all her thoughts mulled over the conversation sheâd had with Michael the previous night. Would he go back on his word? Had he only talked with her like that because she was high on pain meds, and maybe thought she wouldnât remember their discussions?
           She knew he hadnât promised to be there when she awoke, so Y/N didnât hold it against him, but she couldnât deny the sting. But that was immediately soothed by the hoodie thatâd been laid over the back of a chair.
           His hoodie.
           A promise he would at least have a reason to come back and check in on her. It was Dana, the charge nurse, peeking her head inside that pulled Y/N back into the present. âHow are we feeling today? Ready to be discharged? Dr. Langdon will be with you shortly for a follow-up.â
           The woman in the hospital bed groaned. âCanât I just stay here? Like you people â you are normal. Sara will be a mother hen on crack. I am willing to brave hospital food, as long as I donât have to go home to all that fussing. Sheâs probably already bullied our landlord into installing a lift or something.â
           âShe cares for you,â it was Dr. Langdon piping in, as he entered her room, pulling on a pair of gloves and nodding to Dana in thanks. âYouâre pretty lucky to have a friend like her.â
           âYeah, I know,â Y/N sighed as Dr. Langdon looked over her leg, asked some questions about pain levels and talked her through the post-op care. âBut in my defense, she has a tendency to overreact.â
           âIâd say you have a tendency to underreact, but thatâs just my professional opinion.â
           She rolled her eyes as Dr. Langdon finished his assessment and handed off her chart to Dana, so they could start the discharge process. âGod forbid a girl has hobbies.â
           âIn any case, I do think the whole ED is in debt to Sara.â
           To that she raised a brow.
           âWell, had she not made you come in, I donât know if Dr. Robby would have had a chance of seeing you again. Because, if I have to be honest, weâve all been scratching our heads the past couple of weeks trying to figure out why heâs been in such a mood. Now we know why.â
           âYou two shit-talking me?â Michaelâs soft tone interrupted the conversation, as he crossed his arms and leaned against the entryway. âHow are you feeling?â
           She tried and failed to hide the heat creeping up her veins. Even if Y/N had succeeded, that damned monitor, the sound no doubt having been turned back on by Michael before he left, to make sure if anything went awry at night, someone was there for her, betrayed her anyway. God, she wanted to punch the smile off both the men's faces.
           âFine.â She turned her head to look at the wall, as a nurse stepped in and removed the IV catheter and wrapped her hand in gauze. âNot looking forward to the itching that will appear, in what? Three days?â
           âNo scratching,â Dr. Dimple pointed at her with a pen. âYou could injure yourself and cause a serious infection. No rulers, no knitting needles, no crochet needles, no twigs or branches, no nothing.â
           âBut what about -,â
           âNo nothing,â he emphasized. âOr I will have to recommend Dr. Robby make a house call on you. Though that isnât much of a threat for you two, is it?â
           âOkay, Frank? Scram. Now. Thereâre patients that need checking on. I can take care of Y/N.â
           âYeah, I bet you can,â Dr. Langdon let out a laugh but was out of the room before either she or Michael could say anything.
           The only thing Y/N was happy about, was that the comment had made not only her flustered, but Michael as well, as he shifted on his feet and rubbed the back of his neck in a nervous tick. In the end, he gave her a smile that said âSorry about himâ and padded over to where heâd left his hoodie.
           And that only made her even more flustered, because seeing a man like him, so level-headed and sure, get visibly nervous over her, did things to Y/N. Which made her want to do things to Michael, but then Dana returned, two crutches in hand, Whitaker wheeling a wheelchair once more, and all passion slipped away.
           âRight, thanks.â She eyed the crutches like they were cow-eating pythons. âI fucking hate my life.â
           Low, warm laughter filtered through the room as Dana helped Y/N get redressed and situated her in the wheelchair, crutches placed over her knees as she was rolled to the nurseâs station.
           âI uh, took the liberty of calling Sara for you,â Michael said as he leaned against the table. When Y/N raised a brow in question, he elaborated, âSheâs in your emergency contacts. Should be here in fifteen or so.â
           âThank you. You didnât have to do that, you know.â
           âI know,â he smiled. âBut I wanted to.â
           And there it was again, that warmth that blossomed in her chest, only this time she let it spread, let it wrap around her heart and wash away that bitterness, thatâd been there since the morning Y/N had woken up cold and alone.
           It hadnât been just the sex, though that night Michael had given her some of the most earth-shattering orgasms sheâd ever had (thankfully, Sara had been away with her girlfriend, so she didnât have to suffer through the teasing).
           It was the conversations leading up to it, the sense of ease Y/N felt around Michael. He was witty and sarcastic, his humor dry, but not at the expense of others while being engaging and thought-provoking at the same time. What had sealed the deal for her though was when he actually engaged in the debate, she presented him â if he had to kiss a fish-spider hybrid, what would he choose â fish head, spider body or fish body, spider head?
           Heâd made her laugh so hard she cried, and when Y/N had deemed it was time to call an Uber and go home, sheâd taken the risk and asked if he wanted to come to her place. And after a few moments where she wanted the earth to open and swallow her whole, heâd nodded.
           Together they waited for the cab, standing side by side, yet not touching. Heâd opened the car door for her, before slipping in himself.
           The tension could be cut with a knife, and afterwards, Y/N had given the driver five stars for enduring it, while the whole way, one of Michaelâs palms had slowly moved to rest against her thigh, and sheâd had to clench them together because if she didnât, there would be a noticeable wet spot underneath.
           After an agonizing half an hour's drive, they finally got to her place. Michael held the door open for her, and insisted on paying for the Uber, no matter how much Y/N protested.
           Every step towards the apartment she was renting on the fourth floor of the complex, was agony. As she fumbled for her keys, Michaelâs fingers were slowly skimming the side of her dress where the zipper rested.
           Y/Nâs whole body was a live-wire, and she wondered how in the world had the lock not melted from the heat, as it slid in place and she unlocked the door, the motion now forever having a sexual connotation, for in that moment Michael was the key that would unlock her desires.
           Together, they stepped beyond the threshold, and yet still, he never once removed his touch from her body. From that damned little black number. Sheâd only worn it because sheâd been set up on a blind date. They were supposed to meet up at the bar for a drink before going to a play, but as it turns out, even guys who like theatre can ghost.
           When Y/N realized the situation, she wanted to go home, as her date was the one who had the tickets, pull this thing off and drink the already opened bottle of wine that was in the fridge, but she could have at least one good cocktail before that.
           Thatâs when Dr. Robby, or as heâd asked her to call him by his first name, Michael, slid into the seat next to her. They didnât talk for the first five minutes, not until sheâd been scrolling through Instagram and some post had caught her eye. Something about green tea enemas and glowing skin, and the man beside had released a heavy-duty sigh, accompanied by âfucking Dr. Google.â
           Itâs when slowly but surely, theyâd struck up a conversation, which had now resulted in Y/N having Michael towering over her, his beard scratching against the crook of her neck where heâd placed his chin.
           When his hands wove and settled against her stomach, any sort of resolve sheâd had, snapped. Instantly, she turned, weaving her arms around his neck and pulling his mouth to hers in a bruising kind of kiss. The kind that left you breathless and dizzy and wanting more.
           She felt an insatiable thrill rush down her spine as Michael responded with just as much vigor, the pads of his fingers digging deep into her hips and pulling her to be flush against his chest, so much so, that Y/N could feel his own desire growing in his groin.
           âIâve never hated clothes more than I do right now,â she giggled as Michael grappled with the door handle and pushed it close without disconnecting from one another.
           âThen letâs get them off, shall we?â
           The way he dragged the side zipper open, was almost reverent, worshipping even. Like he wanted to prolong the build-up between them, and Y/N couldnât lie â she was loving it, even if she was losing her mind. So many times, when sheâd had hook-ups, guys tended to just get her naked as fast as possible, which was fine. She was down for it, but there was something indescribable about how Michael reveled in feeling her slowly start to tremble, in how he kissed up and down her neck, while his fingers took their sweet time. It drove her insane with want, in an amount sheâd never felt before.
           His pointer finger dragged its way up Y/Nâs bicep, making goosebumps erupt all over before he slowly slid a strap down. Then the other, until the dress was pooling around her waist, and still, where usually sheâd be helping the guy shimmy herself out of the dress, Michael didnât rush. He simply allowed his hands to explore her body, skimming along her ribs and up to the black lacy number sheâd worn, then right back down.
           âYou counting if I have all my ribs in place, Dr. Robby?â Y/N let out a shaky breath, trying to alleviate the gathered tension, for she was just about to combust, but all she got was a soft smile as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her neck where her pulse was visibly thrumming.
           âI donât have much time in my day to stop and admire art. So please, indulge me. And art, which Iâm allowed to touch, should be revered even more so.â
           Her eyes may or may not have rolled to the back of her head at his words, and he hadnât even gotten his head between her legs yet. Yeah, Dr. Michael âRobbyâ Robinavitch, the attending of a trauma centre, would be the death of her.
Name of the deceased - Y/N Y/L/N. Date of death - 4th of April, 2025. Cause of death â self-combustion. Reason for self-combustion â a sexy as fuck doctor.
           Quite honestly, if that was how she was going to go, so be it.
           Finally, though, after what felt like ages, her dress was shed, leaving her only in her underwear and strappy high-heels sheâd worn.
           âIf there is one thing I hate, itâs not having a photographic memory,â Michael grumbled as his hands skimmed along the waistband of her panties. âBut trust me when I say this, I will be picturing this moment for decades to come.â
           âYou are more than welcome to have a look at whatâs hiding underneath,â Y/N said. Or that is what she would have said, had she not simply whimpered in response. Not very sexy of her, but the feeling of his chest rumbling with a laugh, totally made up for it.
           She gathered enough of her bearings to step out of the fabric around her feet and move them along to her room. Never did his eyes leave her, never did his gaze waver or wander as they faced one another, her queen-sized bed behind her.
           âYou are awfully overdressed,â Y/N mumbled, allowing herself the luxury of running her palms along the still-covered planed of his chest. His breathing was steady, but to feel the erratic thumping of his heart excited her beyond measure. It meant all that composure was just an act, and she was thrilled sheâd be the one to crack it.
           She was just about to move her fingers to the buttons of his shirt when Michael slid down to his knees. If his hands hadnât been resting against her thighs, she was sure she wouldâve buckled and crashed. And Michael, damn the man to hell and back, knew it, if only by the smirk that stretched his face as he unlaced the strappy heels she had on and helped her stand on her feet.
           Y/N covered her face and groaned, throwing her head back. âYouâre enjoying this, arenât you? Torturing me?â
           âTorturing you?â A kiss against her navel. âThe only person being tortured tonight has been me. At the bar. In the car. Even now, youâre driving me crazy. So, if this is torture, simply consider it payback.â
           With the gentlest of touches, only a doctor could manage, Michael skimmed over Y/Nâs stretchmarks, scars and blemishes â pieces of herself she didnât particularly like, but the way he touched her⌠it was like he was mapping out the carve-marks of a Michelangelo statue. She was Venus and those â the history of her life.
           By the time he got back up to her mouth, she was a trembling mess, her nails digging into the muscles of his back, as finally, to her relief, he allowed her to rid him of the shirt.
           Much like heâd done to her, Y/N allowed herself the pleasure of exploring his body, mapping out the ridges and slopes of his chest and abdomen, before moving around to his back, and once they made their way to the small of it, she dug her nails against the skin there. The groan she was rewarded with, was sweeter than the cocktail heâd bought her.
           âIs it okay, if I touch you here?â Michaelâs fingers slipped along the tops of her breasts before they moved to her back where they toyed with the clasp of the garment.
           âMore than,â Y/Nâs words were a breathless whisper by that point, and her inhale stuttered in her chest as she deftly snapped it open.
           It was clear he had experience, and not just because he was two decades her senior, but probably also because heâd done so in the trauma center, he worked at. For a brief, stupid second, she wondered how he could still find such acts pleasurable when heâd no doubt had to have done it during horrendous emergencies, yet all that was wiped away when Michael lowered his head and his teeth grazed a nipple.
           Her sharp gasp echoed around them, and Y/N weaved her fingers through his hair, pushing his face closer, as he lavished at her chest. The next day, she was sure, there would be bruises and love bites blooming like flowers across her chest and sternum, not to mention the delicious beard burn.
           Y/N moaned as he pulled the peak into his mouth, but when an uninhibited thought entered, it made her throw it back in a deep groan.
           âThat feel good?â
           âSo fucking good, but also, so yeah, I,â she stammered trying to get her brain to cooperate and create a coherent sentence. âOkay, so I just imagined you in glasses, and this got like ten times hotter.â
           âGlasses?â Michael chuckled, pulling slightly back and looking up at her. âThatâs what does it for you?â
           âCorrection â you in glasses. Though you right now are so doing it for me too. But that image just⌠yeah⌠kinda glad you donât have any on. Iâd probably be a pile of ash by this point.â
           âNow that would be a shame, wouldnât it?â He said, slowly moving to her other breast, but not neglecting the one heâd already loved on, by cupping it in his large palm. âI mean, Iâm just getting started.â
           Yeah, Y/N was dead and done for.
           As he continued licking at her chest, the hand thatâd been fondling one of them, slid down her front and tentatively brushed against her clothed core. It was a single knuckle right against where her clit was, but it was enough for her to jolt in his grasp. Michael just steadied her and held tighter around her waist. Â
           Once he deemed Y/Nâs breasts worshipped enough, he trailed back up between them and covered her mouth with his, yet the knuckle, that damned fucking knuckle, still slid against her pussy. He could no doubt feel how wet she was, the material, though there wasnât much of it anyway, soaked through so bad, her thighs were already sticky.
           âMichael please,â Y/N was now openly begging. She was way beyond feeling embarrassed for such a move when in the span of half an hour, heâd reduced her to liquid fire. No one had ever made her feel this wanted. This needed. And she desperately wanted and needed him too.
           âTell me what you want,â he murmured, as he pushed his thumbs beyond the waistband of her panties and started to lower them down. The cool air hit her exposed core, and Y/N released a breathless moan. âYou gotta tell me what you want and donât want. Iâm not gonna go any further until you do.â
           âI want you to touch me.â
           âI am touching you.â
           She could feel him smirk as his hands took hold of the globes of her ass and squeezed.
           âNo, I want you to touch me there,â Y/N whined and tried to chase his mouth with hers, but Michael pulled back, shaking his head.
           âGotta be more specific than that, sweetheart.â
           She debated on pulling away completely, on not giving him what he wanted either, but she was pathetic for this man. So, instead, she took one of his hands and guided it from where it rested against her ass, towards the front, sighing in relief as he let her do so. With her fingers guiding his, they slid to rest between her legs as Michael slowly, ever so exploratory, found her clit. She pressed her hand harder against his, so he could match the pressure on her core, and when he did so, overwhelming pleasure flooded her veins.
           âThere,â Y/N breathed. âI want you to touch me there. And then,â she moved his hand deeper, by the wrist, until she could feel the pads of his fingers nudging against her entrance. âI want you to put three of your fingers inside me, while you suck on my clit, until Iâm a crying mess.â
           As Y/N lifted her head back to look at him, there was absolutely no sign of the warm brown irises thatâd looked at her so gently at the bar. Sure, it was dark in the apartment, yet even in bright daylight, sheâd bet all her student loans, only two black abysses would be staring back at her, especially with how fast his chest was rising and falling.
           âAnd then?â
           God, had his voice dropped even lower? How did he manage to make it so gravelly, yet smooth as the darkest, most succulent chocolate?
           âAnd thenâŚâ Her fingers trembled as she moved her hands to the front of his pants, undoing the buckle and flipping open the button, lowering the zipper as she went. All the while, Michael applied steady pressure on her clit, circling the bundle of nerves just enough to drive her towards the edge, but not enough for release to come. âAnd uhm, thenâŚâ She pushed his pants down as far as they would go, letting them bunch around his knees.
           It took barely a moment for him to step out of them completely, kicking them to some forgotten corner of her room, leaving him in only his boxers. Somewhere along the way heâd lost the shoes and socks, but Y/N wasnât about to go and hunt for them. Not with how he still circled her clit with those experienced appendages.
           âYes?â He raised a brow and pressed harder against her clit, making her pull in a sharp breath.
           âAnd then,â Y/N trailed a teasing finger along the band of his boxers, for once delighting in how his abdomen muscles went taut, and his obviously hard dick twitched inside the confines. âAnd then I want you to fuck me. However, you want to. As long as by the end of it, neither of us know up from down and left from right.â
           When she cupped him over the clothes he still had left on, it seemed like it snapped something in Michael, some taut, already fragile wire, thatâd begun fraying ever since sheâd invited him back to her place. Because this time when he kissed Y/N, it was a hungry kiss. A man starved being served the most lavish meal of all.
           She was on the mattress in a matter of seconds, body covered by his towering frame. They molded perfectly together, Y/N thought. When she rolled her hips up to get at least some form of friction, he responded in kind, clearly searching to satiate his own desire.
           Michaelâs hands slid from her shoulders down the length of her arms before intertwining their fingers and bringing them up and over Y/Nâs head, not once disconnecting from the kiss.
           âYou keep them there,â he instructed, breathing the words into her mouth. âAnd when Iâm done with my appetizer, weâll move on to the first of the main courses.â
           âAppetizer?â Y/N squeaked out. A good hook-up in her books was at least two orgasms, usually only having one. But calling eating her out an appetizer, and then having a numbered list of courses, was something else completely.
           Michaelâs only response was that same damned smirk sheâd learned could only mean torture, as he made his way between her legs, and without wasting another second, diving in between them.
           The first lick of his tongue was a broad, all-encompassing one. And Y/N could only hope her neighbors had some good noise-cancelling headphones at the ready.
           His forearms had settled against her hips and palms splayed themselves over her stomach to push her down against the bed, as she tried to chase his mouth.
           And what a mouth it was.
           Who knew the soft-spoken trauma doctor sheâd met on a random Friday night at a bar while waiting for a date that never came, would be the creation of the Devil himself?
           But when he pushed two thick fingers inside, shortly followed by a third, just like Y/N had asked, all thoughts flew out of the window. The way he curled them in an attempt at finding that spot that made her gasp and choke on air, the way he scissored them, stretching her, preparing her for the first course he had in mind, was diabolical.
           Her first orgasm came unexpectedly. She could feel it like a wave â pushing and pulling â but she hadnât expected the moment it crested and shattered against the rocks, swift and sharp, coming without a warning, all due to the teasing thatâd happened before, no doubt.
           Michael rode it out with Y/N, until her hips stopped grinding against his mouth, and he could gently remove his fingers from her pussy.
           He placed a soft kiss against the inside of her thigh, the skin raw and tender from his beard, that now glistened with her juices.
           â âM sorry,â Y/N mumbled, an arm thrown over her eyes as she came down from her high and tears streamed down to her temples, just like sheâd requested.
           âWhatever for?â
           âDidnât warn you I was coming.â
           As the aftershocks receded, and she removed her arm, she found Michael looking up at her completely puzzled. âAnd why would I need a warning? I could tell, you know.â He rose to hover over her. âThe way you were clenching. Fucking proud of it too.â
           âNo, I mean,â she huffed, trailing a hand down his chest. âSometimes guys donât want to⌠you know⌠have that in their mouth. Theyâd rather finish a girl off with their fingers and not have to⌠taste it.â
           Now that was one way to kill a mood, but Y/N had already opened her big mouth and the words were out.
           âAnd why wouldnât I want to taste it, hmm?â Michael tilted his head at her, as his hands drifted up and down her sides, over her breasts and clavicles, to skim along her neck and finally settle on the pillow beside her head. âWhy wouldnât I want that, when itâs the end goal? You got your tears,â he kissed the corners of her eyes where the salt still lingered. âAnd I got my wine.â
           Her gaze drifted to the beard, the one she would be feeling for days to come, as she went about her life. The one that was glistening with the remnants of her orgasm even in the dark, and Y/N wondered, what it would be like to sit atop it. To have him pull her down by the waist as she claimed his mouth for her throne. They were such salacious thoughts, for a moment, embarrassment flushed through her, but come on! After such an eating out, Y/N was allowed to fantasize.
           âAnd by the end of this, if you let me,â Michael mumbled, a golden chain dangling in between them. Quickly she snatched it between her teeth and pulled, making him come closer. âIâd like to do so at least once more.â
           âYou are absolutely welcome to it. Morning, noon and night.â
           But at that moment, Y/N had no intentions of allowing him to go for another round, as when he leaned down for a kiss, she lifted a leg over his hip and twisted, throwing Michael off his balance and onto his back, with her now on top.
           âBut right now⌠you had your starter.â She gave him a wicked grin. âAnd Iâve yet to still have mine.â
           âFuck me,â was all he managed to groan out as he threaded a hand through his hair, head pressed tight against her silk-covered pillows while Y/N rid him of his boxers.
           His length sprang free, thick and aching. It slapped against his abdomen and her hand curled around it immediately to give him some sort of relief, precum dripping from the tip. Or maybe, she intended to do quite the opposite.
           Heâd taken his sweet fucking time riling her up. She could take hers. But it was the way he let out the smallest of âpleaseâ, the way his eyes locked onto hers, practically begging to put him out of his misery, that did her in. Sheâd tease him come morning. For now, she was way too aroused herself to deprive her body of his any longer.
           Y/N gathered a bit of saliva in her mouth and let it drip down onto his length, before dragging her tongue along the vein at the base of it, her lips wrapping around the tip as she made her way up and giving it a gentle, yet firm, suck.
           Michaelâs hips jolted, and a hand grasped onto her head. He didnât push it down or pull her hair in any way, more so it seemed he needed something solid to hold onto as she pulled his length into her mouth, until it hit the back of her throat, making both of them choke.
           âYou donât need to do that,â Michael started, ready to pull Y/N away if it became too much for her, but she stayed there, relaxing her muscles bit by bit, until he was so deep down her throat, her nose brushed against the hairs of his pelvis.
           âFucking. Hell.â Those were the only two words he managed to express before Y/N trailed her mouth up and started to really suck him off. After that, it was just grunts and groans, his hand tightening and then unclenching in her hair, but never pressing, never pushing her to take more than she wanted to. Michael was completely immersed with her pace, and ready to take whatever she gave him.
           That sort of power could make anyone lightheaded, and when Y/N started to feel him twitch in her mouth, she pulled completely off.
           Instantly, his eyes snapped open, head rising to look at how she climbed his body and settled her knees around his hips, pressing her core down against his length. She was just about ready to let it slide inside when Michaelâs hands closed around her waist and stopped her.
           âCondom,â he breathed out, chest rising and falling rapidly, probably the only word he could manage, which was great, because at least one of them still had some thinking skills left.
           âShit. Fuck. Right, yeah.â
           Leaning over to her nightstand, Y/N half-fell over the bed to open the lowest drawer. In between her panties and vibrator, was a little foil packet which she fished out. She was glad of Michaelâs unwavering hold, because the way she was precariously dangling over the edge, could end badly and with a stupidly gotten concussion.
           When she was back to straddling him, opening the packet and rolling the condom on his length, their eyes met.
           Michael rubbed his thumb in a circle on her hip. âWe can always stop if you donât want to go any further.â
           âIâm not a quitter,â Y/N scoffed, yet it didnât elicit the smile she was aiming for, as he rose into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her, hers resting onto his shoulders.
           âAnd this isnât some race or competition. You can revoke consent anytime you want. And so can I.â
           âI know that,â Y/N nodded, her gaze softening at his words. He could easily create a power imbalance between them. With double the decades of age and experience on her, Michael could be pushing at her limits, trying to twist things into teaching her how to properly please a guy and so on, yet throughout all of it, his focus had been zeroed in on her wants and needs. She shifted a bit in her lap at the thought that she hadnât checked in with him. âDo you want to stop?â
           âNo.â His voice was soft but sure, and then, after a moment of him searching her eyes, the smile sheâd hoped for, formed on his face. âBut uh, and that is obviously if you are alright with it, I wouldnât be opposed to adding your⌠friend⌠to our activities sometime later.â
           âMy friend?â Y/N tilted her head in confusion. âOhâŚâ A furious heat exploded through her body, and not because of the fact Michaelâs cock was slowly rubbing against her clit, the head nudging just right for pleasure to zing through her.
           Heâd obviously noticed her vibrator, though the bright purple shade would be hard to miss. âYouâre not turned off by it?â
           âWhy would I be? Youâre a woman who has needs. And if thatâs how you take care of them, itâs completely fine. I mean, as long as youâre being hygienic and safe about it. Besides,â Michael breathed against her neck, as his hand slid between their bodies and he grasped himself, lining the tip up with Y/Nâs entrance. âReal men see them as tools to use to their advantage, not competition. And well, not to stroke my own ego,â he smirked, âbut I donât think I have any competition here.â
           Y/N wanted to call him out for that statement, but he wasnât lying. Not with the way his length stretched her out as he pushed inside. The fingering beforehand was incomparable to the feel of Michael sliding inside at a slow and agonizing pace, but one she desperately needed and welcomed.
           He was thick and veiny, all ridges and girth, and so, so perfect for her.
           It took a minute for him to be fully sheathed, and a minute more for Y/N to adjust, her forehead pressed against his, while he rubbed his hands up and down her back while she settled.
           This wasnât fucking. This was sex. This was intimate, and it was something she hadnât known sheâd wanted from a partner. Usually, it was fast and hard, leaving both her and the guy she was with, panting against the sheets. Satisfied in the sense that both (hopefully) had had orgasms, but something was always missing. Now, Y/N knew it was this â time.
           Time spent exploring one another, time spent learning and teaching, and time spent simply enjoying each otherâs bodies.
           âYou good?â Michael muttered, shifting ever so slightly and making the tip catch a spot inside of her, Y/N had only reached with her purple âfriendâ.
           âYeah,â she nodded. âYou?â
           âYeah.â Michael kissed her. Whether as an affirmation of his words or simply because he could, she didnât know. But neither did she care. He was the best kisser sheâd had the opportunity to enjoy, so sheâd take it.
           While they kissed, Michael started moving. At first, it was slow rolls of hips, figuring out what movements made both of their breaths hitch and hearts pound, but it wasnât long before Michael was on his back, knees bent as Y/N bounced up and down, his thumb pressed against her clit the whole time.
           Her second orgasm of the night was a more controlled approach. She could feel the coil tightening in her abdomen, and when Michael started lifting his hips up to meet hers, Y/N listed forward, balancing herself against his chest.
           âYou gonna come?â he breathed against her ear as she pressed her chest against his, Michaelâs hands wrapping along the small of her back and holding onto it, so he could fuck up into her pussy. âI can feel you clenching around me. Fuck, you feel good.â
           âMichael,â Y/N moaned his name. Not Dr. Robby or Robby how heâd explained the people in his life called him, but the name heâd asked her to call him. His real name.
           One snap, two, three. That was all it took for heat to explode. The only grounding thing in the world was his scent â some form of cheap cologne, antiseptic and sweat, but she knew she still had a long way before she came down, with how he was drilling up inside of her, chasing his own release.
           It elicited another, albeit smaller orgasm, but the most pleasure she got was when she realized heâd come with her as his palms grabbed onto her ass and pulled her sharply down, her name a sweet grunt on his lips against her ear.
           Yeah. Y/N needed to go out with more doctors. At least they knew where to find the clit and not neglect it once they had.
           He brought a hand up to her face and pulled her by the cheek to meet his mouth, a satisfied sigh leaving her as he did so.         Â
           âThat was the best one yet,â Y/N mumbled against his lips.
           âAnd the nightâs still young.â
           They went three more rounds after that (because she only had three more condoms, and sheâd rather use them on one man who knew how to make her come three more times, than three men, who would have trouble getting one out of her).
           Michael was also a man of his word, as he had her vibrator join in on the fun. Y/N had her ass up in the air while he railed her from behind, an arm wrapped around her middle, pressing the toy to her clit, the vibrations sending pleasure unlike any other through her.
           His front was flush to her back, beard having left delicious burns down her spine, as heâd kissed her there, before eating her out once more in between the rounds and pushing his again-hard cock inside.
           That was the final orgasm she could manage, and it seemed Michael knew it. It was the kind that not only made her legs, but her whole body shake, leaving Y/N a trembling mess against the sheets, while he soothed her through the aftershocks.
           âYou with me, sweetheart?â he mumbled against her temple as he gathered her in his arms and laid them side by side.
           âJusâ give me a momenâ,â Y/N slurred while Michael brushed a finger from her cheek to her jaw and back. âI think Iâm a medical fucking miracle with how you just fucked my brains out, and yet, I can still function. Barely though.â
           Michaelâs chuckle reverberated through her body, as after sheâd recovered slightly, he gathered her up and moved them to where she instructed the bathroom was, to make sure she peed and didnât get a UTI. If these had been normal circumstances, she would have never let a guy see her peeing, but quite honestly, Y/N wasnât sure sheâd be able to get back from the toilet seat on her own.
           âYouâre more than welcome to have a shower if you want. Of course, only if youâre down with smelling like peaches or passion fruit.â Y/N nudged her chin towards the shower gels lining the floor, one hers, the other Saraâs.
           âI wouldnât be opposed to, but only if you join me.â
           She hissed, biting her lip. âI donât have any condoms left. Besides, from what Iâve heard and read, shower sex can be quite precarious. Iâm surprised that you as a trauma doctor would risk such a thing.â
           âIâm not asking to have sex,â Michale laughed and helped her stand on her still wobbly legs after she flushed. âIâm asking for you to shower with me. Nothing more, nothing less.â
           And thatâs what they actually did. They simply had a shower. Michael washed her back and she washed his, along with his hair. When she did so, the blissful look on his face, the way he allowed himself to melt against her touch, sent a new kind of thrill through her. But it also made her wonder â when was the last time he allowed someone to take care of him?
           By the time they got out from under the water, it was close to four in the morning, so they dried themselves down and went to bed. Y/Nâs down duvet was a warm and fluffy cloud around them. Sure, she could have asked him to leave, but why would she, when he seemed so content to be there? Whether anything came from it once they awoke, didnât matter. If he didnât want to leave at that moment, Y/N would be the last person to push him to.
           She drifted off almost instantly, warm and safe in Michaelâs hold, but when the real morning came and she rubbed the sleep from her eyes, body sore and satiated, she was met with a cold spot next to her.
           There was no fucking sign on Michael, and judging by how sheâd been tucked in, heâd left a while back.
           Her dress and underwear had been neatly laid out on the chair in her room, heels tucked beneath it. As she ventured into the apartment, there were absolutely no signs of him, except for a cup of tea on the kitchenette. She knew itâd been made for her â it was filled to the brim, but much like the sheets, it was also already cold.
           Sourness settled in her mouth as she poured the liquid down the drain. Not even a single fucking note. It was like theyâd never even met.
           Y/N hadnât expected him to leave his phone number, God forbid, his address, what with how heâd laughed when sheâd told him she was twenty-six, and heâd responded that he could be her father with that age gap. She knew she was some kind of spur-of-the-moment mistake heâd made. A weakness in his judgement, but fucking hell, she at least deserved an âit was great meeting you, wish you all the best,â note. Especially because he knew the only reason sheâd gone to the bar was because sheâd been ghosted by a date.
           And now â now Michael was also a ghost, an unscratchable, unreachable itch under her skin she couldnât get to.
           That was the real reason Y/Nâd felt so bitter for the past two weeks. If heâd been a bad lay, or maybe sheâd been the bad party, she would understand the one-and-done-dump, but something about falling asleep while being wrapped up in one another, and then just leaving without so much as a goodbye, was crueler than if heâd left while she was still coming down from her release.
           Now though, as she watched him while they waited at the nurseâs station, she noted how his fingers twitched by his side. She wondered whether he wanted to touch her as badly as she wanted to touch him, but then horrible reality kicked in â there wouldnât be any sort of touching for a while.
           She was stuck with her leg in a cast, and a scheduled check-up with Dr. Langdon in a week to take it off and remove the stitches, before it would get swaddled again for a month or more.
           Y/N cursed the day sheâd met Dr. Michael Robinavitch, for heâd released a monster of carnal urges, she didnât even really know resided in her. And he was the only one who knew how to properly tame it because even in his scrubs and hoodie, surrounded by the smell of antiseptic and all sorts of bodily fluids she didnât want to think about, all she wanted to do was grab him by the neck and get him to some supply closet to have her way with him like they were actually in Greyâs Anatomy.
           âMichael, I,â Y/N started but got cut off by Sara waltzing into the emergency department.
           âHowâs my pirate doing?â She threw her arms around her shoulders and squeezed. âThey assign you a parrot yet?â
            âI donât have a fucking peg-leg.â Y/N rolled her eyes as she signed a final form. With that, Sara took the wheelchair handles, gave Dana a salute and wheeled her out of the hospital, making Y/N crane her neck back and shout a final thank you to the nurse.
           She was just about to ask Sara to slow down as she needed to talk to Michael, when she felt his presence moving with them, silent, steady and strong, his hands taking hold of the crutches as the automatic doors opened.
           He followed them out and once they got to Saraâs car, helped Y/N settle in the front seat.
           âYou good?â He tucked a strand behind her ear.
           âYeah.â She gave him a genuine smile, and her heart pounded in her chest as his eyes trailed to trace her lips. âI am. Thank you. For taking care of me in there.â
           âHonestly, I canât believe Iâm saying this, but the only time Iâd like to see you back here is for your check-ups.â
           Y/N nodded, suppressing a smile. âDuly noted. No shower karaoke for me.â
           âIâm serious. You have an appointment with Frank in a week, but other than that, please take care of yourself, alright?â
           âYou donât have to worry about that.â She nudged her head towards Sara who was wrangling the crutches inside the boot of the car. âMother hen is on the job.â
           âGood.â Michael nodded and before Y/N could properly prepare herself, heâd leaned down, cupping her jaw in his hands and kissed her.
           Her brain short-circuited at that, but when his tongue probed against the seal of her lips, she had to start wondering if sheâd actually died when sheâd hit her head in the shower. It didnât take more than that though for her to open up, for her arms to brush against his scrubs and weave into the salt-and-pepper hair.
           By the time Michael pulled back, both their lips were kiss-swollen.
           âLet me take you out on a date.â
           Y/N let out a breathless laugh, scratching the back of his neck. âWhat happened to the doctor-patient thing?â
           Michael only smirked. âYouâve been discharged. Youâre no longer a patient of mine.â
           âOkay, but even so â what would we do? My legâs in a cast, and I can barely hobble around with the crutches.â
           âI can carry you. I donât mind.â
           âAnd throw out your back, old man?â
           âHey, Iâm not that old!â Michael protested, and when he noted the smile on her mouth, he pressed his against it once more.
           âHow about this,â Y/N proposed, âwhen youâre done with your shift, you could come over to my place, and -,â
           âOur place,â Sara butted in, sliding into the driverâs seat. âSo, whatever you have in mind â no hanky-panky with me next door.â
           If Y/N rolled her eyes any harder they would get stuck in the back of her head, but she returned her attention to the awaiting attendant. âAnd we order some take-out. We watch a movie and then just⌠go to sleep?â
           âIt might be very late by the time Iâm off.â
           When she raised her hand and cupped his rugged cheek, it took him no time at all to lean into her touch. âI can wait.â She pecked his lips. âIâm in no rush.â She could only hope he understood the double meaning behind what she meant with it.
           Later that night as Y/N sat by the TV, the glow of the screen illuminating her face, she fell asleep with her head against Michaelâs chest.
           And when she awoke, her sheets were warm with the remnants of his body, even if he wasn't there anymore.
           She was alone, yes, but atop the pillow rested a note:
           Shift started at 8. Sorry, I canât be there to wake up with you.            Iâll be home by 9.
           It was almost impossible to wipe the smile off her face for the rest of the day.
Even as the itching under the cast started.
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Tags: are open :) if you wish to be tagged in further fics, please drop a comment under the fic or message me or leave me an ask :)
A/N: I have arisen
if you wish to know how this man makes me feel, please listen to Slutty by The Scarlet Opera.
I am FERAL.
P.S. I hope you enjoyed it :) feedback/constructive criticism is always appreciated :)
Hello lovely, I hope youâre having a great day. I thought it was about time I made a list dedicated to my favourite boys, so welcome to my Mafia!Stucky masterlit!I love to write in my spare time, and the fiction I create is for 18+ readers ONLY. Also, everything is character x fem!reader, and please, read the tags carefully before continuing.
Masterlists âĽÂ A03 âĽÂ Tags  âĽÂ Question? âĽÂ latest works âĽ
you're mine (smut, angst, dark)
Steve loves showing off whatâs his, you. What does eh do when he sees someone staring at what is his?
i need more (fluff, smut)
Youâd been off all day and it hadnât gone unnoticed by Steve. Heâd do anything to make you feel better so when you started begging him to help you have some release, he didnât hold back.
ruined orgasm - kinktober (smut)
He had given you one rule: do not interrupt the meeting. So, of course you had to walk straight into the meeting that had all of Americaâs most noterious gangsters
steve's birthday wish (P.1) (fluff, smut, angst)
It was approaching Steveâs birthday and you had no idea what to get him. Bucky suggests just asking the Mafia boss what he would like, but would you regret your decision when you hear what Steve truly wants.
When Two Become Three (P.2) (fluff, smut)
It has been a few weeks since Steve sat back and watched your be pleasured by his best friend Bucky, and you couldnât stop thinking about it. Especially, the part where Steve confessed his fantasy to have a threesome, but would you ever agree to it?
one more meeting (fluff, smut, angst, dark)
For all of the years that you had known Steve and Bucky, you had never seen them lose control of their anger. All of the murder and violence always being calculated, calm, and dangerous. But today, that all changed and for the first time in years, you were truly scared of the boys you loved.
repeat after me(fluff, smut, angst)
It wasnât often that you had to attend a party with your boyfriends but today, you found yourself at one, filling you with anxiety and dread. How will the boys react when they find you close to a panic attack and starting to doubt their love for you?
how many?(fluff, smut)
Steve had finally found time to take you and Bucky on holiday. What he doesnât tell you however is that today, he wanted to see just how many times he and Bucky could get you to orgasm.
i canât lose you (fluff, smut, angst, dark)
Being the girlfriend of the Mafia leader and his second in command had its dangers but for years, you'd never had to experience this. Until now. How will the boys react when you're put in danger?
no touching (fluff, smut, angst)
You blatantly ignored their instructions and now you had to suffer the repercussions for your actions.
i donât care (fluff, smut)Â Â
'The reader having a menstrual cycle, this one just a little worse than others, and Steve and Bucky worrying and helping her through it.'
the one weakness (fluff, smut, angst)Â
It wasn't often you were by yourself so when you quickly go to the coffee shop, what happens when the enemy is watching and waiting nearby.
overwhelming (fluff)
It had been your birthday a few days ago and both Steve and Bucky had made it their mission to give you the most lavish party followed by intense, long nighttime activities. However as you lay in bed on Monday morning, something just didn't feel quite right.
the fun game (fluff, smut)
Steve and Bucky had forgotten about your date, leaving you waiting for two hours in the restaurant. How will they react when you decide to play your own little game as payback and, how far can you go before they finally snap?
harder, please (fluff, smut, angst)
Your mind was clouded with lust and pleasure, as you begged repeatedly for more from Bucky but, what happens when you get hurt in the process?
protect and forget (fluff, smut, angst)Â
Life as the girlfriend of the Mafia boss and his second-in-command was not always smooth sailing, everything did not always go to plan. Two weeks before your birthday, a threat was made to your life. What happens when Steve and Bucky begin to push you away as they search for the threat?
All Eyes On You (smut) Â
âDo you know what we would have done if we had turned up to that restaurant and seen you all dolled up like that? We would have bent you over the table in front of everyone and shown them exactly who you belonged to". - Steve Rogers
you belong to me (fluff, smut, angst)
These girls knew you were dating Steve and Bucky, so why is it that they thought it was ok to have their hands all over them?
dont fall asleep (fluff, smut, angst)
It was supposed to be a normal day, but not in fate's eyes as you and Sam are hit by a drunk driver. How will Steve and Bucky react when they hear their girls been hurt?
rule number one. (fluff, smut, angst)
It was Bucky's birthday but even a surprise party won't stop Steve and Bucky from punishing you for not looking after yourself.
Last Hope (CH. 1) (CH. 2) (fluff, smut, angst, dark)
Before dating Steve and Bucky, your life felt like a steel cage that you couldn't escape from because of your family business. There was no happiness or hope but, what happens when the infamously heartless mafia leader, Steve Rogers, finds you alone?
our little bean (fluff, angst)  Â
You stared unblinking at the Doctor who had just told you the news you couldn't quite comprehend. You were on birth control, so why is the test in his hands saying that you're pregnant? Â Accidents happened but is this a happy one? (Yes it is).
the limit (fluff, smut, angst)
Everyone has a limit, this includes Steve and Bucky. What happens in different situations where each of you felt compelled to use your safewords?
sick day (fluff)
Bucky had warned you that dancing in that rain without a coat would lead you to be ill, maybe you should have listened more to his warning.
accidentâs happen (fluff, smut, angst)Â
You were visiting a friend when you were accidentally hit in the face, leaving behind a cut across your cheekbone. How will Steve and Bucky react when they see their girl injured?
everyone is breakable (fluff, smut, angst)
Steve and Bucky were invincible in your eyes. They'd never been injured or in a situation where you thought they weren't the ones in control. That is until one day Bucky doesn't return from meeting with a client.
winter soup (fluff, smut, angst)
There was no better feeling than a bowl of hot soup when you're feeling unwell and, what's even better is when it's delivered to your door every day by your new guard. It tasted amazing and you could always trust everyone in the Mafia... right?
something new  (smut)
The mafia leader was known to be possessive and enjoy showing off his girl but what happens when he wants to do this by being intimate in front of his gang?
pegging - kinktober (smut)
Steve had once instructed bucky how to pleasure you but what happens when youâre the one being given the instructions?
cockwarming - kinktober (smut)
Youâre feeling needy and restless so Steve offers you something to suck on, much to Buckyâs amusement.
double penetration in one hole - kinktober (smut)
You were adament to prove Steve wrong and do something youâve never done before.
fear play - kinktober (smut, dark)
You woke up to darkness, your phone was missing and, all you could was silence echoing around the house but, you knew you werenât alone.
role reversal - kinktober (smut)
For once, you were the one shouting at the enemy, demanding that they leave your office. Steve and Bucky were in awe so you tried to keep up this confidence and burn off some energy with them.
Duke, Duchess and Knights (fluff, angst)
You get so lost in the fantasy dream that when it turns into a nightmare, you're not sure what reality is when you wake up screaming.
Merry Christmas (fluff, smut)
It was a simple question: Have you been naughty or nice this year?
Safety Measures (Angst, Smut, Fluff)
It was the anniversary of Steve and Bucky saving you from your sadistic brother. Usually, it was a time of celebration for you, but this year, you couldn't help but feel paranoid and unsafe.
edge of glory (Angst, Smut, Fluff)
Defiance is something you are not accustomed to, but when the love of your life is in danger, there is no stopping you. Now, the repercussions of your actions have you contemplating the decisions that you've made.
The first to give their jacket when reader is cold
Mad & Sad moments
Saying the wrong thing
TikTok trend: no kissing
Who is more protective?
safe space in your new home
Halloween Costumes
It's no secret that the BAU team is like a family, but for some agents that's more literal than others.
A collection of works about SSA (Y/N) Rossi-Reid because when you work with your husband and your father, there's bound to be some stories to tell.
Read the anthology insipiration here.
Anthology co-creator: @doctorsteeb
Join the tag list
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Guide to Italian
Chronological Written List
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SSA Rossi-Reid: David Rossi raised, Gideon mentored you, Spencer fell in love with you. What could go wrong?
What Goes Up...: Some cases hit harder than others. This one hit hard enough that your mentor reached his breaking point.
...Must Come Down: Spencer comes back from Gideonâs cabin with three things- a badge, a gun, and a letter you hoped youâd never have to read.
It's Proposals, Dads, and Halloween, Rossi-Reid! (S3E6): When your dad comes out of retirement after a decade, you hope it's just a Halloween prank. Spoiler alert: it's not.
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All works are set post-S3E6
Original Works:
Figuring Out The Family Buisness: With Rossi on the team the dynamics and typical pairings are bound to change. The story of the first time Rossi was paired with Reid, Rossi was paired with Rossi-Reid, and the first time Rossi watched his daughter and his son-in-law get paired in the field.
Not Just a Rossi: When Spencer notices RR struggling with her father's return to work, he can't help but intervene... with help of course.
Episode Rewrites:
Damaged (S3E14): After twenty years, Rossi-Reid learns why her father stopped putting up the Christmas Tree.
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All works are set pre-S3E6
Original Works Pre Show (for the most part):
The First Week: There are lots of old friends and new feelings during (Y/N) Rossi's first week at the BAU.
Never Grow Up: The role Gideon played as Rossi-Reid grew up.
Where Did The Time Go?: Rossi (eventually -Reid) goes on her first case with the team.
How Do You Seal A Deal?: Spencer and RR go on their first date.
Episode Rewrites (S1E1-S3E5):
The Big Game and Revelations (S2E14-15): A fun night out with the team turns into a case, which turns into a disaster, which turns into Rossi-Reidâs own personal Hell.
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gill and doctorsteeb talk rossi reid
random rossi reid thoughts
incorrect rossi reid quotes
Blurbs:
Someday
Headcanons-ish:
Rossi-Reid Gets Hurt S1
Being Jack's Madrina (godmother)
Spencer and Rossi-Reid on Valentine's Day
Rossi-Reid Birthday Headcanons
Answered Asks:
Who is Rossi-Reid's Mother?
Rossi-Reid and Stephen Gideon
How long did Spencer and RR know one another before getting married?
Will there ever be little Rossi-Reids?
Hotch and RR Sibling Content:
Gill's Favorite Sibling Moments Between Hotch and RR (Part 1), (Part 2)
Spencer asking Hotch for advice with RR
(Alright Iâm new to writing please donât judge me. I HAD to start writing because of The Pitt. Mild spoilers if you havenât finished the show)
TW: reader is attacked at the end. I had to make it dramatic sorry.
Sheâs putting almost all of her focus into refilling her coffee mug, she hardly notices him entering the small cafe. It isnât until he plops his travel mug onto the counter before her that she looks up from staring at the precious coffee falling into her mug. She raises an eyebrow at him as she sets her mug down and holds her hand out for his.
âEvening Half Caff.â He smirks, using his call sign for her. Her short stature and reliance on caffeine had only caused him to double down on the nickname. When she had first protested it.
She only grunts as she fills his mug from the coffee pot sitting on the edge of the counter. She hands it off to him as she grabs a tray of various baked goods sitting on top of the espresso machine and he follows her as she moves to set them up at the folding table thatâs dragged out for these meetings.
Every Thursday night the local coffee shop closes its doors to customers and opens it for the local Veteranâs Affair office. One a week, veterans of all ages and branches gather. Part of the night is devoted to mingling, friends old and new talking about their week. The second part of the night has a darker hue. Chairs are dragged to the middle of the shop and set up in a circle. It reminds y/n of an alcoholics anonymous meeting: everyone sharing the tragedies theyâve witnessed, the fellow comrades theyâve lost both overseas and at home, and the struggle of integrating back into civilian life after having been in some of the toughest conditions the world has to offer.
Itâs how her and Jack met. Not that sheâd ever seen combat or boot camp. Not in terms of military service at least. After struggling with her mental health, her therapist had recommended volunteer work, something routine and low stakes that wasnât another job. Sheâd offered to donate her time to her local coffee shop, setting up and taking down for group activities twice a week. A book club on Tuesdays, and the veteran meetings on Thursdays. Sheâd often help set up and take down for special events the cafĂŠ held; like when the middle schoolâs theater club had asked to borrow the space for brainstorming set design.
Jackâs eyebrows furrow as he looks at her, noting her usual cheery appearance gone and replaced with sharp sarcasm and deflection.
âNot enough caffeine?â He asks her, noting her usual grace being replaced with something that resembles stomping.
âYouâve got another one tonight. Blue sweatshirt on your six.â She nods over to where a newcomer has caught one of the older vets in conversation.
âOh no. Thatâll be the third one this month.â Jack groans as he notices the cocky behavior of the kid who must only be twenty. His army buzz haircut still fresh. He leans against the wall next to the table. Trying to hide his smirk behind his cup as she continues to grumble while setting out more muffins and scones next to the containers of coffee.
They referred to these kind of people as âOMBsâ or âone-month babiesâ. These individuals got the wrong idea of war from obsessing over army video games as young kids and teenagers. Often coming from heavy right leaning families, these individuals joined the numerous branches of armed service not to serve their country, but to fuel their ego. These meetings had been hosts to numerous individuals who were more upset that they hadnât had the chance to shoot someone, than they were over the small stipend they received once back on US soil.
âHow bad?â Jack said, turning to her as she braces her hands on the table. She winces and sighs.
âThree weeks on a German base as custodial. I think boot camp has been the hardest thing heâs been through.â She turns and crosses her arms, glaring at the back of the kid.
âSo, nothing compared to the rest of these guys.â He smiles and raises his coffee mug as a familiar army buddy of his passes to grab a seat.
âOh, my fucking god.â She hisses though gritted teeth. Jack winces as he watches the kid toss a muffin wrapper on the floor as he continues talking, the two vets heâs dragged into conversation raise their eyebrows and share a look.
âDamn, if I didnât work, Iâd take you to dinner tonight to make up for his bullshit.â She laughs at his joke. Theyâve made this joke for months; often joking about getting dinner after the meetings despite Jack working the nightshift at the hospital just down the road. Y/n gives him a once over, secretly enjoying the way Jackâs black scrubs look, his white badge a stark contrast to the rest of his outfit.
âHit him with the one two guilt trip.â She all but sneers, causing Jack to laugh into his mug. He holds it out and she refills it.
âThat bad huh?â He turns to her with a smile, she smirks up at him.
âHe called me âcoffee girlâ. If you donât take it off, Iâm ripping it off and throwing it at him after a fat knuckle sandwich.â
âAlright easy Half Caff, go read your book behind the register and Iâll see what I can do.â He bumps her with his shoulder as he shoots her a smile and makes his way to gather with everyone else in the middle of the dining area.
The meeting starts as they usually do. Jeremy, a navy veteran who did two tours, opens the conversation with his usual story. How he lost three of his friends overseas to violence, and one here in the states as they succumbed to their PTSD and trauma.
Jack shoots a look over to y/n behind the register as the new kid, Ben, immediately starts a rant about how more violence is needed. Jack starts to see red as Ben goes on about using violence to thwart foreign governments and the need for additional troops to bring down resistance to US soldiers.Â
Jack leans forward in his chair, rubbing at his calf. He interrupts Ben, âWhatâs the worst thing you saw while over there in Germany?â He doesnât look up to see Benâs reaction as he rolls his pant leg up slowly.
When heâs met with silence he looks up and finds the new kid staring at his leg as Jack slowly removes his prosthetic. He massages the spot where his mid-calf and the prosthetic rub, an irritant he knows will never go away. The new kid only opens and closes his mouth like a fish.
âThat bad huh?â Jeremy says, covering a small laugh with a cough as he catches on to what Jack is doing. Ben clears his throat and looks away as Jack replaces the prosthetic, offering the kid a small smile. Another vet launches into a story on his struggles reintegrating into civilian life, having only been back from Iraq for two weeks.Â
Jack glances back to the register where y/n offers a small smirk and mouths âthank youâ to him, he nods. Heâs thankful for her, not many civilians understand the struggles of coming back, of facing the music. Sheâs dealt with OMBs almost as much as he has, something he struggles to accept. He often brings these individuals up to his therapist. How can someone who got so lucky in their overseas assignment get so angry they didnât see the true horrors of war?
The meeting wraps up and he stands to stretch his back. He makes his way back to y/n for one last top off on his coffee mug. She fills his mug over the register and smiles.
âBe safe Lance Corporal.â She says with a smirk, he smiles. She often throws out whatever army rank she can remember when referring to him. Something heâs sure is payback for her Half Caff nickname. Something he considers her callsign.
âAlways am Half Caff. See you next Thursday.â He secures the lid on his travel mug and raises it in thanks. He leaves the cafĂŠ and turns right, making his way towards the hospital to relieve the day shift workers.
She chuckles and shakes her head as he leaves. She begins to busy herself with clean up, gladly accepting help from Jeremy as she and the cafĂŠ owner, GiGi, start to put everything back into its rightful place.
Sometime later, the cafĂŠ is back to normal, chairs and tables back to their places, dishes washed, and coffee mugs stacked neatly and ready for the following morning rush.
âCan you grab the trash? Iâll take out the recycling in a bit before I lock up.â GiGi says, sweeping her hair out of her face as she jots down notes for the morning crew.
âOn it!â Y/n calls as she grabs one of the bags and swings the other over her shoulder, backing into the back room to toss the garbage out into the dumpsters of the back alley.Â
Sheâs too busy making a to-do list in her head to see it coming. She tosses one bag into the open dumpster from the top of the small staircase and is about to throw the other when sheâs grabbed from behind and wrenched into the guardrails.
She groans as sheâs thrown down the rest of the stairs, a well-aimed punch lands on her jaw, and she sees white as the pain burns through her body. Sheâs so out of it she barely feels the two kicks bash her ribs in, her breath becoming ragged.
She gasps on the ground, gravel digging into her side and cutting her face. Her vision swims as she sees the quickly receding footsteps as whoever attacked her runs off. She wheezes, her mouth gaping as she tries to call for help.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Idk, y'all want part two?
I.R.I.S // Jake Seresin
Summary: When Jake Deadman Seresin spilled some drinks on you at the Hard Deck, the last thing he thought would come of that would be an entanglement that could ruin his entire career.
Warnings: Age Gap. Jake Seresin x Younger!Mitchell Reader. Smut! (18+ Content) Bradley Bradshaw x Platonic!Mitchell reader.
Chapter One: Hangman Head // Jake gets a blowie in the car park after he spills his beer on you, only to find out heâs your TopGun Instructor.
Chapter Two: Locker Room Meltdown // Jake has an existential crisis in the menâs locker room.
Chapter Three: Shower Sex // You and Jake come to an agreement that ends up with you both caving and getting into more trouble in a spare shower stall.
Chapter Four: Backyard Brodown Barbecue // After being lured into your bedroom to receive some of the best head of his life. Jake is subjected to your mischievous ways around your dad and uncles.
Jake Gets Distracted
Chapter Five: Premeditated Murder // You send Jake a risque picture of ďżźyourself while he is sitting in the Rec room with your dad.
Chapter Six: hiding In Plain Sight // After a confrontation turned sour which turned into you giving Hangman head under your dads desk, you overhear something you probably shouldnât.
Pre Flight fight
Chapter Seven: H_ngm_nâs Sleep T // Mav goes to investigate why you havenât gotten out of bed on a morning you have to be on base at 8am. Only to discover youâre wearing a certain someoneâs shirt.
Chapter Eight: Lunchtime Lovers // When Jake finds out you quit the TopGun program, he goes to your houseâonly then does he realise he forgot his lunch.
Are Iris & Deadman exclusive?
Chapter Nine: The Mitchell Effect // You and Jake make things a little more official and Jake confirms his suspicions. Heâs addicted the the thrill of being found out.
Chapter Ten: Snowballing // People are finding out left and right about your relationship with Jake and it all comes to a head when Phoenix gets wind of the situation.
Chapter Eleven: Implosion ďżź// Things take a turn for the worst when Rebound sees you lock lips with Lieutenant Commander Seresin right before a training session.
Pairing: Dr. Jack Abbot x Nurse!Reader
Summary: A story of an ex-army doctor still haunted by his past who strives to maintain control of his emotions at every turn and a nurse with a sixth sense for the emotions of others that everyone has come to rely on- will a traumatic event force them to confront their true feelings for each other or pull them apart forever?
Tags/Warnings: age gap, yearning, too scared to admit they're in love, empath!reader, angst, panic attacks, comfort, descriptions of blood and pittfest, trauma, happy ending
Word Count: 4.3K & AO3 link
Authorâs Note: This may not be everyoneâs cup of tea but I could not stop thinking about writing this. I also have absolutely no medical knowledge so enjoy!Â
The Pitt - Night Shift
The faint beeping of monitors and clicks of the keyboard mesh with the sounds of patients and staff. The fluorescent lights arenât the only thing landing on your skin, you feel his stare from chairs away. It doesnât make you uncomfortable, quite the opposite, it sends a warm feeling rushing through you and when you peek up you catch sight of his silver curls twinkling in the light.Â
Dr. Jack Abbott canât help it, after two years of working alongside you he doesnât get tired of tracing the slope of your nose or watching the way you bite your lip in concentration. He stopped trying to be discreet a long time ago even after repeatedly being caught by Dr. Robby or Dr. Ellis. Youâre both snapped out of your thoughts by the sirens approaching the ambulance bay. By the time the EMTs enter the Pitt youâre standing next to Jack at the ready.Â
âMan in his late sixties- disoriented and aggressive. He was distributing patrons outside of a nightclub and eventually someone knocked him down,â the EMT summarized as they wheeled in the man who was strapped down to the gurney. He wasnât saying anything comprehensible, only letting out grunts as he attempted to free himself.Â
âPsych eval?â Jack tilts his head.Â
âYup, no ID or other identification found with him. Probably homeless and off his meds,â the EMT replied.Â
âGive me a moment with him,â you step forward, not entirely convinced. Jackâs eyes narrow slightly at the patient who began to twist in his restraints again. Unease grows in his gut but he learned a long time ago not to question you.Â
âDonât get too close to him yet, we may need sedation.âÂ
He stands at the door watching the interaction closely, his body taut in preparation to intervene. The soldier inside him never left him, those instincts embedded into his bones.Â
Slowly you approach the older man, quietly assessing him. Jack watches your hand hover over the patientâs arm for a moment, but what you do is still a mystery to him.Â
Eventually it becomes clear to you what he needs. âYou must be very tired and thirsty. Itâs been a long day,â you murmur softly. This made the man go still, eyes widening as he nodded urgently. He was mute, everything he wanted to say stuck inside him at this moment but his emotions were clear.Â
âWeâre here to help you,â you give him a reassuring smile as you back away towards the door. The moment you turn, youâre face to face with Jack. You force yourself to stay concentrated on your task and not on Jackâs handsome features. âHeâs not homeless, he feels lost and he misses home. Heâs also extremely thirsty, so heâs dehydrated which is why he was disoriented and acting out. He wasnât able to ask for help because heâs mute,â you explain.Â
âNot a Psych case then,â he concurs, impressed once more.Â
âThe usual tests will let us know how dehydrated he is and if thereâs other underlying causes. This is a case for the night shift social worker to help with, they just need to find out who he is and where he lives. I think he has family,â you reach for the IV kit.Â
âThanks Sherlock Holmes.âÂ
Thereâs no malice or sarcasm in his tone, just his usual dry wit which youâve come to love. You can see the wheels turning in his head and although heâs never asked questions, you know he keeps trying to figure out how youâre so good at reading patients.Â
Intuition, your grandmother winked at you one day when you asked if she had what you had. A curse, your mother declared before she had left for good, not able to handle what she was born with. Overactive empathy was what you had come to call it. It had been overwhelming at first, discovering that as you got in close proximity to someone you could identify their emotions and feel them yourself, all of them. It took many years to build up your control to a point where you felt you could be around people. Out of nursing school you spent your first few years in hospice care, holding the hand of those making their way out of this world, watching the hazy colors around them fade into nothing. Soon the time came to try something new and you found yourself standing in the Pittsburgh Trauma Medical Center Emergency Department, hoping to make a difference and make use of your ability in a new way.Â
It was an open secret, the little trick you had up your sleeve. No one put a specific label on it and on one questioned it. Anytime you interacted with a patient who needed that extra level of support, with a simple glance or press of your hand to their shoulder you seemed to read their emotions to a tee. It had also helped de-escalate potentially dangerous situations, preventing many fights in the halls of the Pitt. In this world, it was all about the patient and being able to read them was an asset. Their feelings and experiences are half of the story when they walk in through the doors.Â
Grabbing your backpack from your locker you take your time walking back to the nursing station to clock out. It gives you time to admire Jack who stands at the counter, his blue eyes flickering across the screen. Dr. Abbot - the broody, stalwart and incredibly selfless man who captured your heart. Not that you would ever admit it, you were years younger and convinced he could do much better. What catches your attention is his posture, heâs leaning heavily against the counter hoping no one can notice his discomfort.Â
âIs it bothering you again?â you whisper as you stand next to him. Jack grimaces as he flexes the prosthetic foot under his khakis, internally kicking himself for showing a trace of weakness. Â
âI have no idea what youâre talking about,â he grits out.Â
âLiar,â you muse, swiping your badge to clock out for the night.Â
His face turns stoic as he stares you down, intimidating as hell to others but not to you. You stare right back, waiting until one of you inevitably cracks. His dimples pop out as he lets out a hearty laugh. Several people send you curious looks, an Abbot laugh was rare.Â
âIt's not fair if you use that trick on me,â he pretends to sound mad. Not that you would ever intentionally violate his privacy by delving further than his surface area emotions.Â
âItâs not like I can read minds.â
âItâs close enough.â
âI donât have to use anything on you Abbot. It's clear as day.â
He feels that familiar swoop in his stomach at your words, forcing himself to not say anything stupid.Â
âWill you be here tomorrow?â
âIâll be here, just in case you pick up another shift,â you tease, finally starting to walk away. He winks at you and you feel like youâre floating on clouds all the way home.Â
The Pitt - Day Shift
Today was a never ending roller coaster and it was going to give you whiplash. Angry patients, argumentative family members, interpersonal drama, fucking rats. Then Dana had gotten punched, which had rattled all of the nurses. It had brought you to tears seeing her bruised face and bloody nose, your mentor and dear friend. She had shushed you in a motherly fashion, assuring you and everyone else she would live long enough to finish the shift as long as she had another cigarette.Â
It was also the first day for new residents and medical students, another layer to the never ending day. You took it in stride as always offering helpful advice and keeping an eye on them for Robby making sure they didnât mess up too badly. Some had already latched onto you, King and Whittaker frequently asking you to join them on patient care.Â
You could immediately sense that today was an off day for Robby, as you assisted with his difficult cases you could see the strain behind his eyes and his increasing use of the word fuck. He also kept asking you about what the patients were feeling long after they had died. It wasnât a good sign.Â
âIs he asking you about dead people again?â Dana hands you a cup of tea. You nod.Â
âChrist Almighty heâs a morbid one,â she shakes her head with a sad smile. âWish Collins hadnât left early, she knows how to get him back on track.â
....
âDo you think he feels anything? Even if heâs brain dead?â Robby asked you as you stood side by side, about to enter to give the parents of the overdose victim the final verdict on their son.Â
âNo...he doesnât feel anything. Thereâs nothing,â you replied truthfully.
âWhat do you think she felt while she drowned?â he asked as they wheeled the young girl's body out of the trauma room. You think back to when you had held onto her tiny cold hand as they worked to bring her back.Â
âShe felt scared and exhausted but she also felt certain. Certain that she had saved her sister.â
Robby finds comfort in your candidness to his morbid questions, youâve always been honest with him and a shoulder for him to lean on. He knew he was being extra hard on you today and he would apologize with your favorite snack by the end of the shift.Â
None of this compared to what came next.Â
âWhatâs going on?â you can feel the anxiety spike in the room as phones and pagers go off. Gloria is talking to Robby and Dana on the side in a serious manner, their faces pinching with worry. Shooting, Pittfest, mass casualties, are words that fill the air. It seems to suck the oxygen out of the room, a sobering reminder of the world you lived in. Taking a deep breath you steady your nerves as instructions are being shared to the whole team. Suddenly a familiar warmth settles next to you, calloused hands brushing against yours.Â
âYou okay?â Jack asks quietly.Â
âIâm fine...but all of those people that are going to come in-,â you shudder at the thought.Â
âYou donât have to, you know, get too close to them if it gets too much,â he finally faces you as people start to rush around you. With his eyes trained on you it feels like youâre both in your own world for a moment.Â
âI know, but I want to help them. Anyway I can,â you reply, eyes filling with determination. It reminds him why he does this job, why he comes back.Â
Reality breaks apart your bubble as Dana calls out your name and Robby pulls Jack towards the team of doctors. Everything after that is a whirlwind, a mass casualty event hitting an already understaffed ED like a hurricane. Every ounce of training is in use as you work tirelessly alongside your colleagues to save every life that passed through those doors. It soon becomes clear there's not enough blood, medications or supplies. Only sheer willpower will get you all through this.Â
âEveryone please use the sedatives and morphine sparingly! More is coming but it's minutes out!â Dana shouted from the nurses station.Â
Following her announcement, a flurry of movement caught your attention in the Red Zone. The patient was thrashing on the gurney, arms flying around wildly as she shouted in pain, begging them to stop from pressing against her broken legs. Without hesitation you rushed over, hands slipping into the fray until they pressed against the womanâs face. Jack watched as you brought your head closely against hers, eyes scrunching tightly in concentration.Â
âYou feel tired, so tired,â you repeated softly over and over again.
Slowly her shouts became nothing but disgruntled murmurs, her eyes closing and arms falling sluggishly at her side. No one else seemed to notice what you had done, preoccupied with her impending blood loss and shattered bones. Jack could do nothing more than send you a grateful nod before you slipped away once more to assist on the next patient.Â
Unfortunately she had not been the last patient you had helped calm down, dozens more streamed into the Pitt in various states of emotional distress and you did your best to keep them from overwhelming the rest of the staff. It was starting to wear you down, drain your energy reserves as you still ran from zone to zone, arms full of supplies and bags of blood. Dry blood mixed with your sweat caked your arms, and your lungs burned from the smell of antiseptic and alcohol in the air. Give me strength, you begged the universe.Â
You had been standing by the ambulance bay doors, replenishing supplies for the Red Zone when another wave of gurneys and patients flooded in once more. You hadnât even had a chance to set down the IV bags in your hands when a tall man stumbled straight into your body. Blood stained hands clasped onto your shoulders with such force you could feel the bruises start to form. His eyes were wild and he kept repeating someone's name over and over. Time seemed to slow around you as his emotions flowed into your body like a dam had broken- hair raising panic, paralyzing fear, and pain that brought you to your knees. Your vision swam, all you could see now was bodies piled upon each other and hear the cries of those hit by the spray of bullets. A high pitched ringing filled your ears and your throat was suddenly raw.Â
Your ear splitting screams snapped Jack out of his concentration, his heart lurching at the scene before him. He barely had time to make sure Dr. Mohan had a handle on the patient before he was running full speed towards you, Robby at his side. The man was ripped away from you by Robby and one of the security guards who wrangled him onto a gurney. All you could do was cover your eyes as if that would stop the horrific visions in your head.Â
âLook at me, you gotta breathe (Y/N),â Jack begged as he stood in front of you, hands hovering over your shoulders not wanting to make it worse. His heart was beating a million miles per minute and he felt as if he was staring in the mirror, the traumatized medic in the throes of a panic attack staring back at him. Except now it was you.Â
You shook your head, stumbling backwards blindly into the wall. There was only one option he could think of at that moment. Without missing a beat, Jack grabbed you by the waist and hoisted you over his shoulder as you let out another desperate cry. The whole Pitt had frozen, shocked at the turn of events.Â
âGet back to work dammit!â Jack roared, making everyone flinch as they rushed to return back to the task at hand, averting their eyes.Â
In a few strides he made it to the end of the wing and into the empty on-call bathroom, slamming the door behind him with his foot. By this point you had gone limp over his shoulder, letting out the occasional whimper. He set you down lightly onto the shower floor, hand reaching up to the shower knob.Â
âIâm sorry baby but it will help I promise,â Jack couldnât stop the term of endearment from slipping out.Â
You seemed to be stuck in some sort of trance, another agonizing scream slipping past your lips as you hunched over. Suddenly ice cold water flowed from the shower head hitting your body in a forceful gush. A high pitched gasp filled the air as your eyes flew open from the shock. Shivering hands immediately reached out to find Jackâs arms, needing something to ground you as the temperature of the water numbed your frayed nerves.Â
âJack.â
âYouâre safe, youâre in the bathroom now. Youâre not there,â he assured you, hand smoothing your drenched hair out of your face. Tears swam in your eyes and you nodded numbly, trying to reorient yourself. His hand settled on your cheek, watching the water pour down your red cheeks. Even now, he thought you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He was only a few short seconds away from climbing into the shower with you when the door squeaked open.Â
âDr. Abbot, they need you out there,â Princess frowns as she takes in your state. He gives her his harshest stare, about to protest but you push his arms weakly.Â
âGo,â you say. âPrincess and I will handle it from here,â you look up at her. She gives a nod of affirmation.Â
âIâll get her cleaned up, Dr. Abbot,â she promises, reaching for towels.Â
I need to stay with you and protect you, he wants to say to you. I canât live another moment without you.Â
So many unsaid words stuck in his throat. Jack wishes you would just look into him and decipher his emotions so he wouldnât have to say them out loud. It wasnât the right time, it never was. He couldnât stand risking everything you had just to lose you if you didnât feel the same way. Instead of staying as his heart begged him to, he stands, ignoring the pain in his leg as he walks out without a word feeling like a coward.Â
Your heart squeezes painfully as you watch Jack go but you canât stop him. By the time Princess helps you change into clean scrubs it feels like hours have passed. She stays silent the whole time, giving you space as you rebuild the mental blocks in your head. Eventually you walk out onto the floor which is still wet with blood, doctors and nurses running to and fro with urgency. Sirens blare in the distance without stopping. Smoothing your hands over your new scrubs you hoped you looked better than you felt.Â
âGo home,â Robbyâs baritone voice is the first thing you hear.Â
âI donât believe you can send me home Dr. Robby,â you glance up at him. He looks absolutely wrecked, likely the same as you.Â
âDana-,â he turns to Dana who is by your side next. Dana knows you well, knows you wouldn't be standing here if you couldnât handle it.Â
âI canât force her to leave Robby. Trust that she knows her own limits,â Dana squeezes your hand. You squeeze it back in thanks. âWe still have patients to help, letâs go kiddo,â she guides you back into the disaster zone, arm over your shoulder. Â
Itâs when the emergency protocol is finally at an end and the last Pittfest patient is stabilized that you spot Robby again. Robby had been walking on a tight line today, Leahâs death finally pushing him over the edge. You had heard the terrible things Jake had yelled at him moments ago.Â
âHard day yeah?âÂ
âFor both of us Iâd say,â he laughs dryly, tears beginning to leak once again from the corners of his eyes.Â
âYouâve shouldered the burden of so much today Robby. Let me help you,â you extend your hand to him.Â
âI canât do that to you,â he shakes his head, knowing what youâre offering.Â
âThis may be the only time I offer this to you Robby. Trust me,â you say. He shifts uneasily in place before finally making his decision. He takes your hand. The colors around him darken, his frustration, grief, anger and disappointment swirling around him like a storm.Â
âGo home soon and sleep. It will come easy tonight,â you say. Robby feels a warm sensation run up his arm, filling his chest with a lightness he hadnât felt in years. The tension in his shoulders visibly eases and he feels like he can properly breathe again. Before he can thank you, youâre gone.Â
You hand found a quiet space in the supply closet to unwind, taking advantage of the day shift and night shift switching places. Sitting in the dim room you allow the events of the day to wash over you, taking steadying breaths to settle your emotions. Then you would find Jack and hope he didnât look at you differently like you were something that had been crushed into tiny pieces.Â
You hadnât left Jackâs mind since he had left you in the shower, your screams echoing in his mind. Compartmentalizing all of his emotions and stuffing them into the back of his mind was the only thing that kept him sane for the remaining shift. The moment he finally handed off the last patient to Shen and Ellis he was on the lookout for you. Unable to find you yet, Jack makes his way up to the roof as he does after most shifts, muscle memory taking over. Heâs not surprised to see Robby staring at the city skyline from the ledge.Â
âI think I finally understand why I keep coming back now,â Jack calls out to Robby. âIt's in our DNA. It's what we do. We can't help it. Not everyone can do it, it takes a special type of person,â he says, thinking of you.Â
âMaybe you, not me,â Robby shakes his head as he steps back onto the roof.Â
âWhat are you talking about?â Jackâs tone is incredulous.Â
âYou know damn well what I'm talking about. I broke. I shut down. At the moment everybody needed me the most, I wasn't there. I couldn't do it. I choked,â Robby hangs his head. Â
âDonât say that you broke in there because if that was you breaking apart then that means (Y/N)-,â he stops himself, unable to finish the sentence. âYouâre not broken, youâre just human. We all are.â
Robby sighs. âI didnât mean it like that.âÂ
âYouâre stronger than you think. Sheâs stronger than she thinks. Just because you both got overwhelmed today doesnât mean youâre broken, not even close,â Jack says. âI used to think there was a weakness in feeling too much. Never allowed myself to cry or grieve even when-,â he pauses thinking back to his time after he came back from the army, what had happened to his ex wife and her untimely death years ago.Â
âThis is starting to sound less like a pep talk and more like you need to go find her,â Robby crosses his arms. Jack remains silent, running his hand through his messy curls as he paces back and forth.Â
âWhat are you going to do Jack? Itâs been months of you pining after her. We all saw it on that karaoke night-.â
âDonât even,â Jack scowls at the memory which makes Robby laugh for the first time tonight. Â
You had been singing alongside Dana and McKay, your smile infectious as you swayed your hips to the beat. Jack had scoffed at the idea of karaoke night with the team but seeing you up there, he was entranced by the lights making your skin shimmer, your smudged lipstick and sweet voice. The only thing that snapped him out of it was watching a young guy approach you with a shot and a flirtatious grin. It had taken both Robby and Shen to hold him back, dragging him back to the booth by the scruff of his neck.Â
There wasnât anything more to say so they descended back down to reality, one step at a time. By the time he and Robby exit the Pitt doors, there was only one thing on Jackâs mind.Â
âYou gonna grab a beer with us?â Robby asks as they cross the street but he already knows the answer.Â
âI have to do something first. Something long overdue,â Jack stations himself at the entrance of the park.Â
âFucking finally,â Robby claps his shoulder. âTell her I said goodnight.â
âI heard youâve been asking her about dead people again, not cool man!â
âSorry! Sorry, Iâll make an effort to stop that,â Robby throws his hands up before disappearing into the park.Â
Jack steels himself in place, waiting and praying he hadnât missed you. His instincts were correct as usual, you soon appeared before him with a tired smile gracing your lips, backpack hanging off your hand. For a moment the only sound is the wind rustling through the trees. Slowly he takes measured steps closer to you, until he can see the small scar on your top lip. You take the moment to admire the freckles that adorn his nose and cheeks. You were nervous seconds ago, but not anymore.Â
Finally Jack speaks. âYou wanna know what I see when I look at you?â he whispers, his strong hand coming up to cup your cheek. âI see the woman that I love, who makes me want to live life, not just survive it. I see a woman with the endless capacity to help others, the strongest person I know.â
âI- you saw what happened to me today. It may not always be easy,â your voice is thick with emotion.Â
âYou know me better than anyone, it wonât be easy with me either, but we have each other.â
âThatâs all I need - you.âÂ
Lifting yourself on your tiptoes you press your nose to his, your lips hovering over one another. Electricity crackles between you, months of yearning and unspoken tension threatening to break free. His muscular arm wraps around your waist, tethering you to him.Â
âCome home with me, where you belong.âÂ
âI thought youâd never ask,â you whisper.Â
Then something blooms in his chest, a feeling he hadnât felt in a long time - hope. You can see the fuzzy color around him lighten into a beautiful blue color, like the sky on a sunny day.Â
âFeel it with me?âÂ
You wrap your arms around his neck, letting the mental blocks down momentarily. The moments your lips touch bursts of colors fill your mind and you feel it all. His love encompasses you, his hope for the future with you and passion makes your skin tingle.Â
âI love you Jack Abbot.â
âI love you more."
She wanted to make a good impression on her first day; she didnât expect it would be because she came in on a gurney, giving chest compressions to a patient that coded in the ambulance.Â
She was hollering out code instructions to the nurses that came over to assist, and shortly a male doctor, towering over her even on the gurney, came over and lifted her carefully off the gurney onto the floor. She looked up at him, way up, and smiled.
âHi, Iâm Dr. Everly Taylor, third year resident, nice to meet you,â she introduced herself, and the tall doctor gave a look of semi-recognition. At least he knew she was coming.Â
âDr. Robinavich, everyone calls me Dr. Robby or Robby. Iâm the Chief Attending on Day Shift. Think that means youâll be working with me most of the time.â
âDr. Robby, Iâve heard great things about you. Iâm excited to see what new adventures the ED brings me,â Everly smiled again, her dimples showing as she did.Â
âTell me, how did you end up in the back of an ambulance giving one of our patientâs CPR?â He asked her, crossing his arms across his chest.Â
Everly shrugged. âI was walking here, saw a kid crash his e-scooter, called 911 and asked for a lift since they were coming here anyway. He coded en route, and Iâm little enough that I needed to be on the gurney to get some good pressure.âÂ
Robby looked her up and down, mostly down as she was a meager five feet tall to his six feet tall. Everly only then realized she was wearing tiny shorts and a tank top. âYeah, I can see that. Well you may have saved that kidâs life, so congratulations, and welcome to the Pitt. Go get suited up and weâll do introductions and get you started on some cases, starting with e-scooter kid.â
Everly went towards where Robby pointed, finding the locker room. She grabbed an empty locker, putting her purse inside and grabbing her scrubs, pulling them on over her shorts and tank. Then she locked up the locker, put her cellphone on mute and into her pocket, and then walked back out to the main hub, putting her blonde hair up in a ponytail so it was out of the way.Â
Robby was waiting for her at the nurseâs station, as was another blonde lady with a big RN badge.Â
âDr. Taylor, this is Dana, our charge nurse. She runs the Pitt, whatever she says goes.â
âItâs nice to meet you,â Everly said, waving slightly at the other woman. Dana gave a warm smile, before her phone went off and she stepped away to answer it.Â
âLetâs see who else we can find,â Robby said, leading Everly around the Pitt, giving a tour of the different rooms and areas. She met Dr. Collins and Dr. Langdon, both working on a man with a GSW to the leg. Then she met Dr. Mohan, who gave her a hug as she was introduced, and then Dr. King, who seemed just as excited to see Everly as Everly was to be there.
âWell thatâs really everyone on shift at the moment, youâll probably meet some of the night crew when they come in tonight. Why donât you go check on e-scooter kid, and Iâll come over in a bit and help out,â Robby instructed, and Everly perked up, ready to work.
âYes sir!â She jogged off to central one where the kid had been placed while the nurses and Dr. King brought him back from coding. He was now intubated and unconscious, but stable.Â
Dana walked over to Robby, patting him on the arm to alert him to her presence. âSheâs a cutie,â Dana began, and Robby just looked at her. âDonât start.â
âWhat? She is, so short and full of energy. She might be just what you need to get outta this funk youâre in.â
âI am not in a funk,â Robby disagreed, but his frown said otherwise.Â
âSureâŚâ Dana went back to her station, talking with Perlah and Princess about what they were to do next.
Robby went over to central one, peeking in, and seeing Everly cleaning a long cut on the patientâs arm, a suture kit next to her ready to go. Mateo was in there with her, handing her gauze as requested it. They were laughing about something, seemingly something Mateo had said, as he looked slightly smug.Â
Robby immediately felt a surge of something, he didnât know what, but it made him step into the room and clear his throat to get their attention.Â
Everly and Mateo looked up at Robby, both still smiling. âWhatâs up Dr. Robby?â Mateo asked, being friendly.Â
âJust checking on my new resident, seeing how things are going in here,â Robby explained, although he knew there was a different reason for checking on her, he just wasnât sure what it was.Â
âAll good here, just a couple sutures. Heâll be heading up to surgery soon.â
âGood,â Robby ran his hand through his hair, unsure what else to do, so he just walked out, leaving the newbie with Mateo.Â
Robby wasnât blind. Dr. Taylor was hot, smoking hot, and Mateo was an attractive guy. It seemed likely they would at least be friendly, based on their similar ages, if not hook up. Robby didnât like that thought at all. He got called to a STEMI and his mind immediately switched back to work and focus.Â
He saw Dr. Taylor a couple more times throughout the day, where she emphasized to him to âPlease call me Everly, Dr. Taylor is so formal!â. She had a glow about her, like a tiny little fairy, floating around the Pitt suturing wounds here, intubating there, and even at one point holding onto some sawed off fingers. Never did he see her without a smile, or at least a happy look to her.Â
Everyone noticed, especially Dana and Collins. They ganged up on him, coming up on either side of him at the nurseâs station.Â
âSoâŚâ Collins prompted, and Robby just looked at her.
âSo what?â
âWhat do you think of her?â
âI donât know, Iâve only known her briefly for a couple hours,â Robby answered diplomatically.Â
Dana and Collins both groaned in disappointment.Â
âCome on Robby, youâve been watching her all day, you gotta think something about her,â Dana explained.
âIâm watching her because sheâs my new resident, and I watch all my residents, including you, Collins,â he pointed out, crossing his arms across his chest.
âSheâs a cutie, so smiley and full of joy,â Dana was watching Everly as she flitted across the Pitt, helping Langdon with a little boy that swallowed some magnets. âGood with kids, too.â
âYou two are worse than Perlah and Princess,â Robby complained, walking away towards Mohan to see what was taking her so long with her patient.
âI give it two weeks,â Collins bet.
âNah, I think itâs gonna be a couple months. Heâs so uptight,â Dana countered. They began the betting pool over/under on whether Robby would ask Everly out, or continue to be a pining Victorian hero, sad and broken and lonely.Â
At the end of the day, Everly was at her locker, grabbing her purse, when Dr. Robby walked in. Everly smiled at him, closing her locker.Â
âGood job today, Taylor.â Robby complimented her, and she did a fake bow.
âThank you, sir.â
âKeep it up,â he finished, turning to his own locker and grabbing his stuff. Everly took this as a dismissal, and put on her jacket, heading home after fourteen hours of nonstop medical treatment.
A month later Robby starts to realize he might have feelings for Everly. She brought him a coffee every morning, made sure he drank some water and ate at least a granola bar during the day. She was the sun to his starless night, opposite in every way, but fitting perfectly into his life. But she was 29 years old, and he was pushing 50, it was too big an age gap, theyâd have nothing in common. He was a coffee black, whiskey neat sort of guy, while she was an iced latte, sex on the beach (the drink) kinda girl. It would never work. But that didnât mean he couldnât want it to.
Ongoing Series
Synopsis: You and Robby spent seven long years together until the day it ended. Youâve done your best to create space; to become invisible. You canât miss what you donât see. Unfortunately, the universe (Gloria and the Board of Directors) seemed to have missed the memo.
Pairing: Michael âRobbyâ Robinavitch x Reader
Genre: Established previous relationship, slight age gap (by about 15 years give or take), a little bit of tension mixed in with a little bit of hate yearning, cause sheâs a saucy angsty fic ok
A/N: First, I read an article on burns to try and make this as accurate as possible, (article here by the NIH) but itâs still not terribly accurate. So, please, I tried lol. Secondly, Iâm still screaming at the amount of love you guys have shown this series. Truly, I appreciate it more than yâall know. Thirdly, enter in a little extra dash of drama by Gloria (who redeemed herself in ep.12 but we ainât there yet) and ya girl is just having a rough-ass day. Fourthly, yeahâŚsheâs a thick chapter. Hopefully, it's still good because Iâve edited it as much as I can. As always, I hope you all enjoy. Thank you for the support and for being here. Much Love, Jenn
Warnings: Mentions of death, language
Words: 10k +
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Whitaker proved to be an adept student. He followed directions well and answered whatever questions you threw his way about proper wound care at home and possible infection risks around the burned areas. When youâd finished with the first patient, you ensured he knew to return to the emergency room immediately if they experienced any new or persistent discomfort, like pain or tenderness in the area, increased warmth, discoloration, or advanced swelling.Â
âIf the infection is invasive and takes hold of the wound, what is the main course of treatment, Dr. Whitaker?â
âWe would contact surgery.â
âCorrect. Why?âÂ
âThe need for surgery would be based on the high concentration of the bacteria levels found present in the wound.â
âWeâd check for signs of possible sepsis and a full check-up to narrow down if it's gram-negative or positive bacteria, which tells us further about our treatment plan. What is the chief cause of burn wound infections?â
âStaphylococcus Aureus - MRSA.â
âHow would we verify the patient had MRSA or any other type of possible bacterial infection?âÂ
âBy taking a sample from the area for testing -â
âYou guys arenât about to cut me up or anything, are you?â Â
The sudden input from the patient caused a nervous tick from Whitaker. It halted his hands from finishing the last few loops around with the gauze. The patients' eyes darted nervously from you to Whitaker and back again. You gave your best reassuring smile while making sure the dressing was secured on his chest and shoulder.
âWell, Kyle, the faster we get you out of here, you take the antibiotics I prescribe you, and make sure you keep your burns dressed and away from exposure to possible germs, then no. We wonât be âcutting you upâ today.â
âOkay. Cool. Because that sounds really uncool.â
Dilaudid truly did wonders for conversations. Youâd have to make sure the discharge papers were clear on his care and warning signs to look out for. Plus, add extra emphasis on trying to make sure not to share any items in the frat house bathroom.Â
In truth, it wasnât him, but his fellow frat boy neighbor in four that had you worried. So far, he showed no obvious signs of infection, but once the adrenaline of the moment wore off he noticeably seemed to slip into shock at having half his face, eyelashes, and eyebrow singed off. Not enough shock, however, to keep from asking if heâd make a handsome Harvey Dent for Halloween.Â
The burns to his neck and chest indicate to you he was closer to the fire pit than his buddy Whitaker currently patched up. Youâd ordered blood work, x-rays, and a culture swab on two-face and his friend just to rule out any surprises.Â
You did your full assessment, asked questions, and directed Whitaker the best you could. You wanted to be the good mentor like Adamson and Singh had been for you. A good mentor like Robby was too. You would never admit it out loud but a small piece of you wanted Robby to see how capable you were. A silent bid to prove he could trust you with his interns and medical students. Between Robby, Abbot, and the previous attendings you knew you could teach.Â
It wasnât a hidden thing that youâd both meet here during your residency. Yes, it was Adamsonâs circus, but Robby thrived under Adamsonâs direction and the insanity the Pitt offered. He was funny, charismatic, incredibly smart, and showed a level of empathy that bordered on worrisome at times. A tidal wave of grief encapsulated him and carried him under if he wasnât careful. Robby was exactly the physician any patient should want taking care of them when they arrived in the ED.Â
And hell, you werenât blind. Anyone with eyes could see that Robby was handsome. Painstakingly, stupidly, egregiously, fucking handsome. It was fucking criminal.Â
Robby taught you so much in the time youâd spent here and you knew he probably still could but that would mean being around him. The two of you standing closer than youâd been in years was proving to be a dangerous thing. Heâd fallen back into the habit of stealing touches and youâd fallen back into the habit of shamelessly teasing him with things heâd usually make you pay for later trapped between his body and whatever surface in your house.
It was a dangerous game neither of you realized you were playing, and both of you were losing fast. Instead of having your focus one hundred percent on the patients and being back in the ED for the first time in years, your focus repeatedly returned where it shouldnât. At first, you could lie to yourself and say you were simply scanning the hallways and nursing stations to make sure you didnât see him. Of course, thatâs what you wanted to believe; to coast through this shift without any additional emotional trauma following you home.Â
It was fucking impossible.
You could continue to lie to yourself all you wanted, but the truth was blatantly clear. Your eyes didnât comb over the hallways and desks in hopes of not finding him. You didnât quickly peer into rooms in anticipation that he wouldnât be in one. You wanted to see him just as much as you denied that you didnât.Â
The day you left, you made sure to do it while Robby was working because you knew, that if heâd been home and asked you to stay, you wouldâve. And if he didnât fight for you - never uttered a singular word of pleading to keep you from leaving, you werenât sure you could survive it.Â
So now you found yourself hopelessly looking for him in all the places you swore youâd never go again. You may have chosen to leave, but it never meant you stopped loving him. The fact you were still in love with him made seeing the lost look in his eyes sting harder. You watched as he spoke to the parents of the kid who overdosed with no possible hope of waking up again, and you wanted to go to him. It was the shattering look of grief that made you forget how to move. Robby knew what was coming better than anyone else did.Â
How many times was Robby the one in charge of giving the heartbreaking news that loved ones werenât coming home? Shouldering the burden of listening to the breakdown of their world and being the pillar of strength and comfort while families struggled to rearrange?Â
You hadnât realized the black hole of anxiety was leading you down a rabbit hole until the sound of Whitaker calling out, âDr. Fullerton,â at your side left you practically jumping out of your skin.Â
Shit. How long had you been zoned out? Hopefully, you hadnât said anything weird. Or incriminating.
âSorry,â he swiftly followed up. âI was trying to ask where we were off to next, but, uh, you seemed a littleâŚpreoccupied.â
âOh, yeah, no sorry. You can go back to the red zone. Iâm just going to help McKay up in triage.â
âDid I do something wrong?â
âWhat? No, not at all. Youâll have more of a chance to learn with Langdon and Collins.â What you actually meant was to see more if that was what he was into. âAlso, maybe check on your last patient I pulled you away from earlier.â
âOh, yeah, of course.â You watched him take your advice and, in real time, get ready to dispute it. âWhy am I checking back in with Mr. Milton?â
What should you tell him? In the Pitt, it was easy to be thrown from one patient to the next - forgetting their faces and names as the minutes blurred into hours. Easy to forget they were waiting on test results that needed to be read by you and needed a treatment plan discussed and planned by you. Major issues could present as something small, something easily missable until further testing exposed the truth of the situation. If you went just the smallest amount of time without checking the results, without popping your head in for a visual, well, it wasnât hard to imagine how sometimes those major issues finally presented themselves and everything got much, much worse.Â
âLook, Whitaker. As much as the powers constantly stress about getting people in and out quickly like this is a drive-thru, we have an obligation to each patient to give them the best care we can. It means staying on top of orders and checking in regularly. Trust me, Whitaker, things can change quickly down here.â
âOkay, yeah. That makes perfect sense. Thanks, Dr. Fullerton.â
âYou bet. See you around, Whitaker.â
He gave you an awkward wave and didnât move right away. It wasnât until you turned away from him that you heard him shuffle on his feet. A part of you was curious if you glanced behind you heâd still be standing there, deciding where to go.  Â
All that mattered to you was that you currently needed a new patient. It didnât matter what the chief complaint was. Ideally, for the all-seeing eye of admin, quick and easy ones would look better. At this rate, you were positive your Press Ganey score was dipping. You were seeing patients at the speed of an R3; two patients per hour and they were after fast and loose results. But you wanted something with the capability to keep you occupied for hours. Preferably something that would require so much of your attention it would force you out of your head.Â
Yeah, that would be good. It was too damn early still to be spiraling into a midlife crisis just because you had to work with your ex. An ex, you realized, who was wearing the damn navy blue hoodie youâd bought him on his last fishing trip to Canonsburg.Â
No. No. Nope. You werenât supposed to be thinking about him or stupid hoodies or the gold chain of his necklace that used to drag over your collarbone. How your fingers curled around the thin chain, using it like a lead, to bring him down on top of you on the couch. Absolutely not - you were at work and he was your ex. He was your ex and you shouldnât fucking care how you could still tell after all these months he was sleeping like shit.Â
You were almost back to Danaâs station, the monitor looming overhead like a beacon to salvation when you noticed Whitaker walking in tandem beside you. You cocked a brow in question that Whitaker rushed to answer.Â
âThe board is this way, soâŚâ
Right. You knew that.Â
âI was trying to talk to you but I think you were in deep thought or something. Again.â
Or something. God. That was twice. Twice your head was everywhere else but where it needed to be, which was at work. You shouldâve fought harder when Gloria came to reassign you, but none of this shouldâve mattered.Â
You were a damn good doctor. Youâd trained under the best, learned from the best, and kept progressively learning and didnât stop. You spent years of your life on this because helping people was your passion. It shouldnât matter where you were placed if you were down here to help for days, months, or years.Â
Yet, in the matter of an hour, your mind waded into memories that were better off left for dead with your eyes searching for someone you shouldnât.Â
You didnât know how to answer him. âSorry, I should remember where everything is but find myself stuck daydreaming about the past and looking for signs where I shouldnât and sexually fantasizing about your attendingâ, didnât seem appropriate to tell a med student. So, you ended with a weak, âSorry about that,â which passed for understanding. It made you feel like an ass, but you didnât trust yourself to speak.Â
You came to a stop just a few feet from Danaâs desk. Her back turned to you as she went through folders preparing patient's charts for transfer upstairs. Her eyes shifted up at the board and over to a newer resident you hadnât met yet.Â
Her gaze was fixed on the monitor; eyes scanning rapidly down the chart as if there was a code that needed cracking. You knew that look. It was a shared one youâd no doubt mirrored only an hour ago.Â
âWhat do you need, Fullerton?â
Your head swiveled back to Dana and found her now facing you, her glasses removed, and waiting for your answer.Â
âHowâd you know it was me?â
âAre you kidding?â The question fell out of her in a chuckle. âYouâre the only one I know who goes around taping on every damn surface when theyâre thinking. You act like my five-year-old grandson, just less noisy. Barely.â
âThatâs offensive,â you pointed out.Â
âFor who? You or my grandson.â
You felt the first crack in your defenses tug at the corners of your mouth. If you werenât careful, Danaâs whip-smart comments were going to make you fold back into a routine you hadnât been a part of in a while. It wasnât just you who was slipping at this point, and you clocked the moment Dana began to realize it too.Â
She was supposed to be upset with you - grumpy, mean remarks only. You were supposed to take them and dish them back so you could comfortably stay in your bubbles of denial and anger. The denial of what, exactly, was achingly easy to see.Â
You both missed each other. More than either of you were willing to admit.Â
Your reply sat cocked and loaded on your tongue when you remembered what transpired half an hour before. As much as you missed one another, you had to be careful with what you shared around her. It was obvious, whatever the âItâ may be, Robby would magically seem to find out.Â
âAny quick ones up here? Itâs only 8:30, and Robbyâs already on my case for being too slow. I can usually at least make it to lunch before he starts hounding me.âÂ
Your attention swiveled back towards the resident. Her gaze fixed on the board before glancing between Dana and you. Hopefully, her question wasnât meant for you to answer. You werenât very good at picking off the board either.Â
âCut him a little slack today, ok? Itâs the anniversary of Dr. Adamsonâs death.â
Of course, Dana would cover for him. Intercept all incoming rapports of Robby being prickly and sometimes downright mean to bury them under the rug of understanding.Â
Yes, it was the anniversary of Adamsonâs death. It always would be. Grief wasnât easy. It was messy and unrelenting in the moments it chose for sights, smells, and touch to materialize memories that recalled moments you wouldnât get the chance to share with them again. A constant reminder of all that we lost. Time didnât seal up that cavern their loss created; it just became more manageable over time.Â
Robby never coped. Never allowed himself to grieve, heal, and thrive in the good memories he did have. The doubts and guilt haunted him every day in every step, every decision, he made. He housed it inside him like a ghoul in a cemetery feasting on the remains of who he was before Adamsonâs death - before the pandemic.Â
âThatâs sad. But itâs still no reason to take it out on me. Iâm just saying.â
You liked her. She got it. You wanted to properly introduce yourself. By the look on Danaâs face, you need to do it quickly before she breaks out into a lecture. Luck wasnât on your side because Whitaker beat you to the punch.Â
You didnât want to eavesdrop on their conversation but you also didnât want to go back to having a conversation with Dana, either. It left you the only option of staring back up at the beloved board. Youâd just decided on 7 North when Dr. Collins walked by, her hands digging in the glovebox on the wall to retrieve a pair. Her eyes were on Whitaker and yours were on her.Â
It wasnât a secret that Robby and Heather had dated. Well, maybe to those in the Pitt, and not including Perlah or Princess because they suspiciously seemed to be psychic. Or just really loved to gossip. No, youâd learned about them when a friend spotted Robby and Heather out on a date. Youâd only assumed it was a date because she repeatedly kept using the word cozy.Â
And why should you have cared? Itâd been almost a year since youâd left. You chose to leave and that meant making him free to date and find new love or whatever. You didnât have a right to lay claim to him just because heâd been yours. And Heather? She was gorgeous. She was fucking brilliant, with a beautiful smile, and it suddenly made you feel uncharacteristically subconscious.Â
Whether itâd been a date or they just seemed cozy (it was a damn date) you shouldnât have felt jealous. You were fine. It was perfectly fine and healthy for people to seek out relationships and companionship. It was normal and you were fine. You werenât any saint either. Youâd dated someone briefly and, if you were honest with yourself, you couldâve stayed in that relationship. It was nice and easy. Simple. But you didnât love him and you werenât sure if you ever could.Â
The problem of loving Robby - still being in love with Robby - was that he stood witness to your most intimate memories of love. There were stories woven into your bones that bore witness to the man he was and how he loved you. They were told in joy and tragedy, laughter and sadness. When Nathan kissed you, the earth kept spinning. He didnât taste of bourbon or smell of leather and sandalwood. He didnât spend time in the backyard sanding down tables or staining decks. He didnât wear glasses that somehow slid minute by minute inch down his nose until he subconsciously tilted his head back to see.
In the end, you left because of one glaring fact: Nathan would never be - could never be - Robby. Â
Dr. Collins told Whitaker to come with her for a teaching experience - an unconscious unhoused man was being brought in. Whitaker quickly moved to follow her lead in grabbing a pair of gloves just in time for the paramedics to wheel in the gurney. Said man was very much unconscious and appeared very much unhoused.Â
Your time playing the gawking bystander had come to an end and you needed to get to 7 North. You pushed away from the counter when you were stopped by the resident from earlier barreling into your line of sight.Â
âDr. Fullerton? Iâm Dr. Samira Mohan - R3. Itâs a pleasure to meet you.â
Dr. Mohan stuck out her hand and you accepted it warmly. Besides the obvious annoyance from Robby hounding her existence, it seemed Dr. Mohan was friendly. She held a kind air about her that reminded you of Robby - only now that kindness held an edge of grumpiness because his empathy was playing an overwhelming game. By the sleepless bags under his eyes, you could tell he was losing.Â
You wanted to point the probability of this out to her, maybe offer her a consultation for Robbyâs apparent hard-ass demeanor, but quickly shoved it off.Â
âItâs nice to meet you, as well, Dr. Mohan.â
âWould it be okay if I could confer with you later?â Dr. Mohanâs eyes shifted to where Dana stood only inches away. âIn private?â
You werenât sure if you should be flattered or wanting to run for the hills. Danaâs eyes practically bore into the back of your head, waiting to hear your answer. You knew no matter what you chose to say this was getting back to Robby.Â
Fuck it.Â
âOf course, Dr. Mohan. Iâll come and find you after my next patient.â
âThank you. I look forward to speaking with you.âÂ
She cut a cautious glance over her shoulder and turned on her heel towards the south hallway. It must have been nice to make an easy exit. It was definitely something you were down to try but Dana stood closer to the counter, her glasses down the bridge of her nose, and accused you with a look of being a troublemaker. Your only defense was a shrug.Â
âWhat?â
âWhat the hell was that about?â
Your brows converged together as you shrugged again.Â
âHow am I supposed to know, Dana? I havenât even talked to her yet.âÂ
âTalked to who about what?â
Fucking kill me.Â
What was with today? Were you unknowingly walking around with a âKick Me,â sign written by life? Youâd gone over two years without ever running into Robby and within an hour in a half, you couldnât seem to avoid him.Â
And why was he standing so fucking close again?Â
You didnât need to glance over to your left to know he was close. The heat of his body, the nudge of his elbow against your arm informed you at breakneck speed you were close. Too fucking close, Michael.Â
âMohan seems to want to speak with Fullerton. In private.â
âYou couldnât just wait for me to answer, Dana?â
The words rose up your throat like bile, acidic with its irritation. You couldnât help it. You didnât need this shit. You didnât know what Dr. Mohan wanted but the cryptic way she asked wasnât doing you any favors. It was at this moment you finally chose to look in Robbyâs direction. He was leaning into his elbow that rested on the counter. Even with his body slightly slouched the height difference was substantial causing you to crane to look up at him.Â
The problem with this? He was close enough that your temporal lobe was overloaded with thousands of memories of his thumb gliding across your lips. Large hands taking hold of your neck and tilting you back at just the right angle for his lips to claim yours.Â
When you were no longer held hostage to the sensory manipulation your brain concocted, you prayed to whoever was listening that you didnât look as lovestruck as you felt. By the dark glint in Robbyâs eyes, you were doing a piss poor job at being Switzerland.Â
âWhat? So you can conveniently disappear by the end of the shift without any context or explanation? No, thanks. Been there. Done that. Not a fan of the outcome.â
âThis bipolar verbal assault is getting real tiring, Dana,â you huffed.Â
âAlright. Alright, enough!â Robby cut in. âI expect this behavior from patients, not my staff. Now, Dr. Fullerton, what did Dr. Mohan want to discuss with you?â
âJesus Christ,â you sighed, âI have no fucking clue, okay? She just asked if she could speak in private and seeing as how she did ask for it to be private, I donât see why you need to know.âÂ
âUgh,â a dry huff of what might have passed for a laugh - a cough maybe? - exited his lips. His brow was drawn tight while he looked at you. No doubt wondering where youâd gained the audacity. âBecause this is my emergency department. Iâm in charge of the entire thing and I think I need to be aware of what is going on with my staff.âÂ
âWell, maybe if you stopped acting like an ass to said staff they wouldnât be seeking outside counsel.â
A mirthless laugh exploded from between his lips. The sound carried part of the disbelief his eyes showed while he took you in. He was no longer leaning against the counter but had his arms crossed against his chest. You werenât sure if he was looking at you like he wanted to throttle you or found you unbelievable. Neither option would make you a winner if you guessed right.
âYou gotta be fucking kidding me,â he grumbled under his breath. âAre you a fucking counselor all of a sudden?â
âAnd what if I was? I would ask if youâd require my services, but we both know youâre allergic to seeking help.âÂ
You shouldâve stopped while you were ahead. You were bringing up personal shit - inviting a possible fucking mess to happen - and yet you couldnât help yourself. You kept poking the proverbial bear and damn it, you werenât exactly sure you felt bad about doing it. Were you so desperate for a reaction from him - after all this time? What the hell was it going to prove?Â
You watched the storm of emotions roll in. The deep set of his forehead and the dark clouds that zapped all residual warmth from his eyes. You werenât sure if Robby was even aware heâd taken a step towards you, jaw flexing, and body slowly seeping into whatever free space you had left.Â
Whatever words he wouldâve said died in the aftermath of hearing shouts a few rooms down. It jarred you both out of your staring contest and sent him into action. One minute he was standing in front of you, the next, he was running to see what the commotion was.Â
The second Robby was removed from your space, you took a deep breath in. Why did it feel like you were in a constant state of fight or flight? Your answer came in a set of blue eyes who homed in on you the moment Robby was gone.Â
âWhenâs your next smoke break?âÂ
âWho says I still smoke?âÂ
âDana, be serious. The day you quit smoking is the day hell freezes over. So - when?â
She regarded you for a moment. The scale in her mind no doubt weighed if this was going to be worth her time or possibly ruining her nicotine break.Â
âI usually take it around 9:30. Why? You suddenly have the urge to open up?â
âDo you want to talk or not?.â
She could bitch, make jokes, and moan and groan all she wanted. You knew offering up a chance to talk would be all Dana would need to agree. Was it something you honestly wanted to do? Not really. Were you willing to do it so that at least you had one less person hounding you the rest of your shift?Â
Abso-fucking-lutely.
âAh, what the hell. Iâll see you on break kid.âÂ
A sigh of relief eased through you and you prayed Dana hadnât noticed. You didnât think sheâd agree but, now that she had, you had a tiny ounce of hope this day wasnât going to be so much of a shit show.Â
âWhat was all that screaming about?â
You knew the question wasnât directed at you. Robby must have made his return and the soft laughter wasnât what you expected to hear.Â
âWe seem to have involuntarily just admitted rats,â he replied.Â
âYouâre kidding?â Dana scoffed.Â
âIf only I was. Whitaker was saying it was about three or four of them.âÂ
âAnd on that note,â you drummed your hands on the counter, âI am going to 7 North.âÂ
It wasnât until you went to take a step forward you noticed the weight on your left foot. A weight that felt like something was sitting directly on it. You looked down just in time to watch a rat - a damn rat - scurry off your foot to run around the edge of the nursing station.Â
What you did next wasnât your proudest moment. You even used to pride yourself on being rational when it came to rodents. The shout that clawed its way from the depths of your stomach proved you wrong at lightning speed.Â
You felt your body jump backward and collide with Robby. His hands were on your hips to steady you. You were bouncing back and forth on your heels, eyes scanning the area to make sure no further surprises snuck up on you. Your arms were bunched up at your sides and you were trying to talk yourself down from sweeping the remaining area with your leg. Just for good measure.
It was the feeling of his hands on your waist, the soft sound of his chuckle touching your hair that brought you careening back down to earth. Robby was close. Not like last time when your arms touched - closer than when he followed behind you into Allan's room. Even through your scrubs, you could feel the scorching heat of his palms spreading like wildfire through the fabric that sent your heart racing.Â
He shouldâve let go by now. The threat of you possibly knocking him over or you both tripping and falling was over. He could let go. He could just let go, but Robbyâs hands were holding you firmly in place with neither of you willing to move. You refused to look behind you - afraid of what he might see if you did.
You were afraid of what you might see if you dared to look too.Â
Slowly, you took a step forward, disengaging his hands from you. The sensation of loss was instant and you almost stepped back into him. Your body and mind were at war between desire and being rational. Fuck being rational. There was nothing rational about the way your heart brutalized your ribs. The need to ask stupid fucking questions that no longer mattered. The consuming way your body craved for him to wrap his large hand around your throat, whispering words of filth into your ear.Â
You had to get away before you made a mistake.Â
âSorry about that. Iâm going to just, ugh, go do my rounds now.â
You didnât turn around while you softly spoke. You may have been delusional at times, but you werenât crazy. If you looked back and Robbyâs eyes gave away any hint of emotion - anything that sparked that dying ember of hope inside you - you would crumble.Â
You shouldâve fought harder to stay upstairs in family medicine or threatened Gloria with firing you. You were safer there. Now, you were rushing off to remember what patient room you were going to with Robbyâs cologne clinging to your skin.Â
You were a pain in the ass. But you were his pain in the ass.Â
Used to be, his mind reminded him.Â
Could still be, came his stupid heart's reply.Â
Robby used to love it when you challenged him; called him out on his bullshit. You werenât afraid to stand in the current of his disapproval or to openly have a debate, especially when you could see he was missing something. You challenged each other to be open-minded to change, because it happened so fast, and to accept that being wrong wasnât failure but a moment to grow and learn.Â
When you both stopped being open with one another, and being honest with yourselves, was when the challenging energy took a turn. Everything felt like a confrontation. Even in moments when the constructive criticism came from colleagues - from you - it felt like an attack he had to defend against.Â
Robby saw it in you too. The small hints of walls slowly being built to keep the inquiries at bay. When your responses become short and brief or not at all.Â
Now, before nine oâclock, you were in the Pitt not only wreaking havoc on his already fragile mental state but accusing him ofâŚwhat? When youâd thrown the counselor's comment at him, Robby wanted to rage. How many times was it the main part of your arguments near the end of your relationship that he needed to talk to somebody? Anybody. How many times did he deny it?Â
Youâd thrown it in from the sidelines and it jarred him so much, Robby felt disoriented. For the briefest moment, Robby forgot that you were no longer together. His mind reflexively thought you were arguing about the same old tired thing. Heâd taken a step toward you and wanted to ask, âAnd what about you?âÂ
You who wasnât as honest and open with yourself just like him. There were things left unsaid between the two of you - the things that eventually buried the hatchet too far in to safely remove.Â
What about all the times heâd found you in the bathroom sitting against the tub crying in the middle of the night? Your panic attacks and OCD tendencies that started afterâŚ
Every time Robby reached out to be there for you, your response was always the same.Â
âItâs nothing, Michael.â  âIâm fine.â âI said I donât want to talk about it.â
Sure, Robby wasnât open and was guarded in his own right but neither were you. Where he used to read the transcript of your emotions so delicately on your face, youâd closed yourself off to him and he no longer knew how to get in.Â
An angry shout from down the South hallway thankfully tore his attention back to reality. His feet were already moving him robotically forward where he could see Olson entering Central 15.Â
âWhoa, whoa what is going on?â
Robby directed the question specifically to one of his many team members in the room. Thankfully, Kiara started to explain or, more appropriately attempted to explain but he couldnât fucking think through all the damn shouting.Â
âOk, ok, okay ENOUGH!â Robby couldnât believe he was already raising his voice. Yelling at grown-ass adults like they were children. âThis is a hospital. This isnât â The Jerry Springer Showâ.â Although it was really, really starting to fucking feel like it with the morning he was having. âMaâam, nobodyâs trying to take your child. So why donât you stay here with him while your husband talks to our social worker outside and straightens all this out?â
âWell, I donât want him speaking for me and my son.â
It was clear by the wavering of her voice, that this was a tough spot for the mom to be in. Robby could sympathize but what he couldnât sympathize with was starting a miniature war zone in one of his rooms.Â
âWell, it is either you or him. Your son is not leaving, but you can be escorted out and even arrested if you refuse to cooperate. Nobody wants that. So you tell us. What do you want to do?â
Robby knew the answer before she replied. There wasnât a doubt in his mind that this mother didnât fiercely love her son. Whatever situation the husband did to get them in this position was unfortunate, but the only option they had now was to press forward.Â
âIâm staying with my son.â
âOk, great. You do that. Are we all on the same page here?â
The last question he sent out was rhetorical. A feeler to see if anyone else was confused about what was about to happen and if further clarification was needed. God, Robby sincerely hoped itâd all been made crystal clear what the only two real options were; the only choice being to cooperate.Â
âYou okay?â
Robby could see Langdon was shaken up. It could be a lot dealing with a combative patient - harder when it was a parent just trying to make the right choices for their child. You were always the best at coming in and soothing cases like this one. Somehow able to give relief and comfort while giving the most gut-wrenching news of a parent's life while calmly explaining the next steps. You were able to keep people from feeling lost in the bad news and prepare them for the onslaught of change.Â
Robby waited until Langdon confirmed he and Dr. King were good before he walked out of the room. Regarding parents with kids, Robby almost forgot Teresa asked to speak with him about David.Â
Central 12 was just a few steps away from Langdonâs patient. It was close to being comfortable but too close to give Robby time to think. He felt out of his element here because he was running out of options. He wanted to help Teresa, because, while she did this to help her son, she knowingly put her own life at risk to get him the help he needed.Â
But isnât that what parents did? Â
At times, they blindly waded into the fire if it meant that their child would be safe.Â
All Robby could do was watch and listen while he told her about how he left. While he followed up her questions with his own and did his best to try and ward off the sick feeling burying itself inside his gut.Â
âDo you think David would hurt anyone?â
Even allowing the question to come out of his mouth made a rush of nausea swell back behind his tongue. He didnât want to ask it. Nobody wants to ask any parent if they think their child - a fucking child - could be capable of harming another human being.Â
Robby carried his thoughts on the reasons why young men are more prone to violence these days. With idiotic podcast hosts spewing their hatred for women who were goal-oriented and not focused on babying them like their mothers. Boys who were told to bottle up their emotions: âDonât share your feelings. Donât get caught crying,â unless you want to be told that you were weak. There was so much bullshit in the world for kids to have to contend with these days that Robby didnât find it surprising a lot of them were overloaded - overwhelmed by a constant flurry from the world to be someone different than who they are.Â
Robby had plenty of talks with Jake about these things. He found it easy to lean into him with the both of them connecting during shared trips and quiet nights at the house. Robby made sure his stepson knew that Robby would always be a safe place for him to land. When the world got too crazy and if he couldnât tell his mom Janey, Robby would be there.Â
Because thatâs what parents do - willingly walk through fire if it meant their kid would be okay.
âThe nasal swab came back negative for COVID, RSV, and Flu - which is a good thing.âÂ
âThen whatâs wrong? What about her eyes?â
The her in question was a three-year-old named Jasmine who was vocally letting you both know that she was not in a good mood, which was very fair. Nobody liked being sick. The only issue with her actively voicing her bad mood was that any high octave screams were soon followed up by a violent cough.Â
The moment you stepped inside the room youâd been worried about RSV, especially because of her age. Lungs sounded clear with slight wheezing indicated in the upper left lobe. Thankfully, all major possible viruses came back negative. The unfortunate thing was that this specific viral infection just meant mom was going to have to ride it out.
âItâs still a viral infection. The conjunctivitis, since it started coming from both eyes this morning, itâs from the infection and sinus blockage. The whites of her eyes arenât red in any way. The best thing to do is apply a compress every few hours on the eyes to help with drainage, saline drops, or spray on the nose to help clear up the congestion and suction as often as you can. Over-the-counter cough medicine is fine unless you need a prescription?â
âNo, no, itâs okay. We have some at home. So, sheâs okay?â
âYes, perfectly fine. I just recommend having her sleep elevated to help with drainage and if you have a humidifier, use it. Follow up with her pediatrician in two to three days or come back to the ER if any new or persistent symptoms occur.â
âThank you so much, doctor.â
âYouâre so welcome. Make sure to wait for a nurse before leaving. I hope you feel better, Jasmine.â
 You gave them both a wave before exiting out of the quiet of the room and back into the noise. The nurse assigned to the room came over and held out a tablet and pen for you to take. Quickly, you scribbled a signature down, because doctors were notoriously known for sketchy penmanship, and began to walk towards a nursing station.Â
Technically, you did have a second option you could take before throwing yourself into the next patient room. Dr. Mohan asked to speak with you. She didnât necessarily give a time or a preference. It was more focused on secrecy, which you found a little odd. This was Pittsburgh Medical Trauma Center - it was a rare thing to have a private conversation here. You were curious to find out what it was Mohan wanted, a bigger part of you wasnât ready for the headache of Robby undoubtedly finding out later. The worst option: is if you were the one who had to tell him to be the advocate for his resident.
The scent of his cologne still held tight to the fabric of your scrubs. Slowly, it was beginning to fade but if you leaned in close enough to your right shoulder you could almost get a hint of -
âDr. Fullerton.â
You were a millisecond away from calling out, âI wasnât doing anything!â. Was it too early in the shift to consider a name change?
Glancing over your shoulder, you find Gloria making her way towards you. Each step in your direction sent your fight or flight raging back into gear because fuck no. Between Gloria and Robby, the two of them were about to have you so damn stressed out there was a high chance for premature balding to occur.Â
âOh no. Iâve had enough surprises from you today.â
âI just wanted to have a chat - â
âAnd definitely enough of those,â you shot back.Â
You werenât exactly sure why you kept moving. If previous experiences told you anything, it was that she would follow you until you stopped on your own or she got you into a corner. At least stopping to face her was a choice compared to being cornered with no way out.Â
Resigning to your fate, you took in a big meditative breath through your nose and turned around.Â
âWhat can I help you with, Gloria?â
Your voice was so monotone you sounded like a robot.Â
âIâm glad youâve decided to stop running and actually talk to me like an adult.â
âIâm sorry, Gloria. You brought me down here to assist in decreasing triage wait times and that is what I am doing. Stopping to have a chat with you will reflect poorly on my scores.â
âCute,â She bit back. The smile on her face was too harsh to be genuine. âWell, itâs funny you mention scores. Iâve been keeping an eye on the numbers and the system is showing barely any signs of process or improvement. Can you explain why that is?â
The simplest answer you couldâve given her came with one name, one word, and one human being. Robby. Robby was your fucking problem; the bane of your existence.Â
Gloria shoved you down here not knowing all the variables that could hinder productivity. There were moments of clarity where your brilliance shined through and in a matter of seconds it evaporated again. Realistically, it was your fault. Your inability to control your stupid fucking emotions - you didnât need to react every time you saw him.Â
How could you not react when Robby did exactly the same?Â
You werenât stupid. Youâd spent years, months, days, and hours with him. Every minute is accounted for in conversations and touch. It wasnât insanity (although the jury was still out on that one) that made you believe - to fucking notice - Robby was affected too.Â
But no way in hell were you divulging any of your innermost thought demons to Gloria.Â
âLook around, Gloria,â you said, arms opening up to motion around the Central rooms. âThere are no beds available. You ask for solid care, for good patient satisfaction scores and that requires multiple factors. To be a good doctor you have to listen to the patient's chief complaint that theyâve been waiting almost eight hours to tell you.â
âI am well aware of the current wait times in triage, Dr. Fullerton.â
âOh, thatâs awesome. Problem solved then because once we assess them and decide they need monitoring and tests to ascertain the issue, itâs only another three to six-hour wait. Maybe longer if itâs life-threatening. Not to mention if any trauma patients come rolling through the red zone adding another twenty-five to fifty minutes on their time.â
âI donât see what any of this has to do with not having any beds. Not every situation in triage necessarily requires a bed to be seen.â
âGloria, your precious Press Ganey scores are going to stay low if a patient doesnât get back to a room. You can make beds available by sending people upstairs or how about removing the deceased guy in nineteen whoâs been posted here since before I arrived?âÂ
âRobby is in charge of contacting the coroner's office about picking up the deceased.â
âAnd yet, the body is still here,â you pondered. âI know Robby, Gloria. He wouldnât knowingly leave someoneâs loved one here if it didnât mean the coroner is backed up, which means our morgue must house him until then. And why are you complaining to me like I'm attending here? Robby is the attending - â
âIâm well aware of that - â
âYou keep saying youâre well aware, Gloria but the fact is it feels like youâre not. Itâs easy to come down here making demands but the reality is without the proper staffing and moving boarders out of the emergency department to free up space the numbers will never fucking change. Sending one doctor down here isnât going to change shit.â
âAre you just about done, Dr. Fullerton?â She did a dramatic pause to allow you time to cut in. âThe board and its administration are well aware of the pressures that staff face down here in the emergency department - that all hospitals are currently facing shortages. The fact of the matter is studies show close to seventy-five percent of ER visits are non-life threatening, which means more than half of those patients could be fairly seen in triage without needing a room.â
You could feel your mouth opening; primed for a response that Gloria was not going to let you detonate. Her hand waved to warn you not to cut her off.Â
âI don't want to hear any more about boarding or staffing. I want to see the results, Dr. Fullerton. Itâs already bad enough that there are rats inside.â
âTo be fair, they piggybacked on an unconscious unhoused man, so,â you shrugged. If looks could kill, youâd have dropped dead right then and there. âNot helpful?â
âNo. Not helpful,â she confirmed. âI do, however, have a proposition for you.â
You sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth. The earlier annoyance at seeing Gloria twice in less than two hours of your shift changed course. Dread ice cold and paralyzing coiled in the pit of your stomach. You didnât like where this was going.Â
âIs there a pass option?â
âThis is an offer from myself and the administration. So, no, there isnât a âpass option.â How would you like to be considered for an attending position?â
âNo.âÂ
The word barreled out of you without thinking. You didnât need to think about this proposition Gloria, the administration, or whoever was trying to dangle in front of you. It was any doctor's dream to become an attending at a facility - it made you the doctor.Â
You didnât want it like this.Â
âYou didnât even hear the terms.â
âI donât need to hear them to know that youâre trying to be sneaky.â
âRobby is failing to meet standards -â
âRobby is a fucking good physician.â You fumed. âHeâs one of the best physicians in trauma medicine you have here outside of Abbot.â
âNo one is disputing that, Dr. Fullerton. The board is open to having you both down here during the morning shift, maybe even making a swing shift for you to help between shifts.â
You raked your hands over your face scrubbing hard to try and cut off a mirthless laugh that came out in patches between your fingers.Â
âNo - you want me to be a Judas. Itâll be a swing shift until you can get whatever data you need to confirm whatever fucked up plan youâre making.â
âDr. Fullerton -â
âNo!â You didnât mean to shout the word at her. Or maybe you had. Whatever it was, it surprised you both. You should be quieter - donât draw attention but your heart was thrashing wildly. Your hand swiped through the air to cut her off before she could attempt to continue. You didnât want to fucking hear it. âRobby is a damn fine physician and to try and - I donât fucking know, get rid of him because he doesnât kiss the boards or your ass is fucking stupid. I donât know half of what Robby or Abbot knows. Iâm not them and it would be beyond idiotic to lose him.â
âYour opinion will be taken into consideration and Iâll dismiss yourâŚoutburst, for now, because of the current situation. But make no mistake, Dr. Fullerton this will move forward with, or without, you.â
You wondered if any natural disasters were named Gloria. It seemed possible since she came and created an instant upheaval of your day, completely devastating it in a matter of minutes and once she was done simply went about her day like nothing happened. Â
She left you to deal with the aftermath. The rushing thoughts with a million questions - thousands of things you shouldâve said to defend Robby. There were dozens of ways you could prove her wrong about him - that he fucking cared about his patients and was such a damn good doctor, phenomenal at times, that to equate all that he was and all that he did down to a simple metric of numbers was fucking ridiculous.Â
All the sound in the room began to drown out around you. Somewhere in the background of the hum you heard a shout for help. It could be Code Blue. It could be anything. You tried to get your body to react, but the hurricane of anxiety was sweeping in fast and you were running out of air.Â
You needed to sit. You had to act normal because the last thing you needed was Princess or Dana or fucking anybody else coming over to speak with you. Your hands used the counter like a rope to pull you along to the nearest computer. You quickly sat down and swiped your credentials to enter the computer, quickly clicking on anything just to appear busy.Â
âHow are you holding up today?â
The last person you expected to see at that very moment was Heather Collins. What did you expect? This was an emergency room and doctors worked inside of it. She offered up a close-lipped smile that matched the kindness in her eyes. She was genuinely wanting to know how you were doing and for the first time, you hated the question because you couldnât answer it.Â
Not truthfully, anyway. Who was ever truthful in answering that specific question?
So, you painted on a grin that more than likely resembled a grimace and prayed you didnât look as tired as you felt.Â
âItâs beenâŚan adjustment.â
âWhatâs taking adjusting?â
Good god, this man was fucking everywhere.Â
Robby came into view as he moved across the station to get to the opposite computer. The question was thrown out carelessly; he didnât expect a response. He was pulling out his glasses and sliding them over his nose, his full focus on the screen. Test results thankfully took priority over your response.Â
You were quickly forgotten by Collinâs who walked over to where Robby read the test results. She waited until he removed his glasses and stood to his full height.Â
âPlease donât tell me you are going to intubate that poor old man?â
âItâs what the family wants.â
âSo what? They want to torture him?â
âI explained all that.âÂ
It was painfully obvious this was a case you knew nothing about. By the sound of it, you were willing to bet five dollars that it was one of the elderly patients from a home who came in a little after 7:30 that morning. It meant it wasnât your case. You didnât need to know the information and you could continue counting down backward from ten while you reminded yourself that no, you werenât Judas and -
âDr. Fullerton, if a family came in -â
Fucking hell, you needed to stop zoning out. You brought your attention back to the two of them, wondering what you missed.
âYou donât need to ask her,â Robby interjected.
Collins continued like heâd never spoken.Â
âAnd they had durable power over an elderly family member who had a pre-existing DNR. His family wants to intubate. Itâs not what he wants. Whose choice do you honor?â
âWhat are you doing?âÂ
A singular brow of hers arched in defiance.Â
âAsking for a second opinion.â
âI didnât ask for one.â
They continued to bicker about the decision Robby made to not fight for a dying manâs wishes. You wouldâve told Collins to let it go because once Robbyâs mind was made up, it was like talking to a wall. Maybe she already knew that.Â
God, what fucking twilight zone episode were you stuck in? You actively wanted the floor to open up and swallow you whole. Your eyes darted to the time on the bottom of the screen and you had to fight to keep your forehead from landing with a thud on the keyboard. It was only 9 oâclock. There were ten more hours of this day and you needed it to be over.Â
Robby released a sigh that reflected how exhausted you felt. It wasnât a physical exhaustion but one of the soul; a weariness that vines grew thorns and were beginning to tear you slowly open. You could feel your legs wanting to shift out of the chair and go to him. The urge was so strong your hands scrunched into fists to keep from moving - to quell the urge because he wasnât yours anymore and you werenât his.Â
âShit.â
âWhat?â
Robbyâs best magic trick? Deflecting. Whenever he wanted the current conversation to end, and didn't like where it was heading, he diverted it completely into something else. Anything else that kept him from having to continue down a conversation he wanted no part of. You knew that trick all too well.Â
âI got to go tell those parents their 18-year-old son is brain-dead.âÂ
âYou want me to go with you?â
It shouldâve been you offering to go with him. A comfort to the harbinger of bad news because it was never easy to give it. Never easy to stand in the storm of grief and simply be a bystander while their world ends in a matter of words.Â
What did it matter who went with him? Who offered? At the end of the day, a family was forever going to be encapsulated by a loss too many people unfortunately knew.Â
Vaguely, you caught the end of their argument. Robby wanted to perform an apnea test and a cerebral perfusion study. Dr. Collins didnât agree. It offered the family false hope but Robby was right - maybe it did offer a false sense of hope, but with each test completed and results read off it was a graceful way to ease a family into acceptance. It gave them the time to process and grieve and come to the very heavy realization their son wouldnât be going home with them.Â
âThey need time to process before they can accept whatâs happening.â
âYou ever consider taking that advice? Physician, heal thyself.â
Dear floor, please fucking open up wide so you can just swan dive right on in. Thanks a bunch.Â
Heather knew. She fucking knew about the wall of grief - of acceptance - Robby himself was unable to accept. The King of dishing out advice left and right but unyielding in taking it. Suddenly, all the cool reserve of not caring about them dating evaporated in a crushing wave of heartbreak you shouldnât have felt in the first place.Â
Did he tell her about you? Did he share with her aboutâŚabout what happened? Was he able to open up to her in ways he stopped doing with you? Their relationship was gone, but the respect and care were still there.Â
The irritation came off him in waves. You shouldâve told her Robbyâs least favorite thing is being told to take his own advice. Or to heal for that matter. Oh, and to also maybe seek therapy. All three of those would turn his mood sour and aggravate him to peak levels at hyper speed.Â
He shoved his hands down into his hoodie. His head swiveling between Collins and probably anywhere else in the ED.Â
âDonât you have patients?âÂ
There it was. The dismissal. The, in not so many words, âIâm done talking to you about this and everything else,â so he could make a quick exit. The magician's last trick before his temper was lost.Â
Donât look up. Do not look up. Donât fucking do it.Â
You didnât need to look up. There wasnât any reason to do so. You werenât on their radar the last half of their conversation. You were just a bystander to a miniature car crash. The issue with crashes? Everyone who drove by couldnât stop themselves from looking.Â
The itch between your shoulder blades was your first warning sign. The weight of his gaze was bearing down on you. You didnât have to react to it but it was a reflex to look up for him. To search for him in every crowded room and find yourself wishing he was there when he wasnât.Â
Your eyes found he was still looking at you. An in-house debate flashed across his features. If it was whether or not to come to you, you hope he chose not to. You just need a few moments of space. It was too much. Youâd run from him and now he was just here all the time and -
âWhy are you looking at puppies? You getting a dog?â
âWhat?â
For the first time since youâd opened the computer, you realized whoever was on it last left it open to an ad for a puppy.Â
âOh, no. This wasnât me. Hey, earlier did someone shout a Code Blue?âÂ
You could also perform your own magical change of subjects. Robby took a moment to answer before giving a curt nod.Â
âWhittakerâs patient thatâd been placed in the hall. If you heard it, why didnât you go assist? All hands on deck for a code, you know that.â
God, was he chastising you right now? A flood of irritation rippled over your skin. You wanted to snap at him. You werenât a med student. But he was frustratingly right - youâd heard it and instead of running youâd kept yourself here.Â
And Whitaker. It was his first patient of the day. Heâd been so excited that heâd done good. Heâd gotten praise from Dr. Robby about his work up and Whitaker wouldnât shut up about it. It meant something to him.Â
âIâll go see if they need someone to switch.â
You went to get up but Robby was too close. If you got up from the chair you would bump straight into his chest.Â
âYou okay?â
The sudden care behind the question jarred you. How did he expect you to answer? There was no way you could be honest with him - not at that second. He was supposed to go break the worst news a parent could ever receive and he was worried about you. He should be worried for himself. You could warn him about Gloria but what good would it do if he thought you might possibly be in on it with her? Your sudden reappearance, while inconvenient, hadnât raised suspicion like an ulterior motive waited in the wings just yet.Â
âYeah. Yeah, Iâm good. You?â
âNever better.â
His smile held every worn line of fatigue that signaled his lack of sleep. His attempt at strength in a moment he refused to seek outside help. You found the same words Dr. Collins asked moments before crawling their way up your throat before you swallowed them back down. He wouldnât change his mind and agree just because it was you.Â
You wanted to be there because whether he voiced it or not, this kid whose family was seconds away from being told was gone wasnât that much older than Jake. A single accident of taking non-prescribed Xanax ended his life. Jake was a good kid. You wanted to reach out and take his hand and tell him Jake would never - Jake was different.Â
Jake was still a kid.Â
Robby didnât wait for you to reply before he headed towards the room. You kept telling yourself to get up and move. Go find Whitaker and the team performing cpr on his patient and do your part. Between everything thatâs happened this morning: being forced down with Robby, seeing Robby, Dr. Mohan requesting to speak with you, Gloriaâs ultimatum and now the news this young kid didnât make it you were officially mentally exhausted.Â
You needed to move but by the time your legs finally lifted out of the seat, Robby told them. The motherâs wail of agony resounded through the room and rose in octaves. The soul-wrenching loss of her child, her baby, turned the Pitt into a mausoleum of mourning. Her cries followed you down the hallway until you reached the curtain where Whitaker and others were on their third round of Epi, and you could see the continued despair evident in the room.Â
It was barely 9 AM and you already wanted to fucking go home.Â
As always, thank you so much for reading! Reblogs and comments are always appreciated <3
Tag list: @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange @travelingmypassion @jupiter-sky @catsgoogander @rosiepoise88 @It-jakeseresin @blackpopcorn @celmentine111002 @dcgoddess
Omg I love your jack Abbott writings! All of the written so well. So I have a request if theyre open.
Jack x nurse reader who had a fling but it ended soooo badly because emotions werenât being regulated. This makes reader quit PTMC and work elsewhere when she finds out sheâs pregnant. Never tells jack. Cut to a year or two later, and they manage to cross paths where jack realizes itâs his son/daughter, feelings get thrown out the bag, and they all lived happily ever after?
Dr. Jack Abbot x ex!f!nurse!reader
Requested
Summary: Itâs in the wreckage of what was that you find hope for what could be.
[ My Masterlist ]
Note: Thank you, anon! I struggled between giving him a son or daughter here, frankly because I really enjoyed both in my head. So like it has been in the past, it came down to a coin toss lol
Jack strikes me as both ââI walk you to your door and maybe kiss you goodnight on the second or third dateâ slow, intentional, traditional man and âif I donât talk about my feelings, they donât existâ longing, no title, all physical manâ so I float between them lol
Word Count: 3.1k (I blacked out)
Most of my works are 18+ for adult language and content.
Warnings: afab!reader, ex-situationship, implied age gap, foul language, hurt/comfort, mild references to smut, unplanned/surprise pregnancy, not telling jack about said pregnancy (reader being in the wrong oof), single mom!reader, hospital settings, medical inaccuracies, injuries relating to a car crash, angst with a happy ending, fluff
not beta read
It had started in the heat of the moment, neither of you being particularly careful with your feelings. The collection of lingering glances and secret smiles had brought it all to the surface until it was just the two of you after a bad shift. You had found comfort in each other that night, and several nights afterwards, lost in heat and an unspoken understanding of the horrors you faced each day.
Jack Abbot was a man of many complexities, though you thought that was what had sucked you in in the first place. The mysterious edge always left you wanting, always kept you guessing, and that just seemed like a recipe for disaster.
Perhaps because it had started on uncertain ground, always leaving you on the edge of your seat, left the relationship constantly feeling strained. What was worse was that neither of you called attention to it and simply let the insecurities fester. Simply never brought up what you were, or what you wanted to be, or got too personal to be vulnerable, though Jack had more of an affinity for that last one than you did.
You smiled at him less and less in the hallways of the Pitt, overwhelmed by the unknowing eating at your insides. You avoided him at work. He avoided your calls. Sooner or later, one of you always turned up at the otherâs door. It became habitual, like a moth to a flame.
It only made your downfall so much worse.
â
You had wanted a clean break, and leaving the Pitt had been like leaving home. It had been necessary after that night with Jack, unable to look at him, let alone continue working with him. Not after what he said â not after you had asked for more and he had calmly, collectively, refused you. Like it didnât matter. Like you didnât understand.
It had done more than just hurt and embarrassed you, it had burned.
Like everything had reached its crescendo before stopping cold. All the feelings buzzing around your chest had been too much in the aftermath, so you left. Just left.
The two little pink lines staring at you just a few weeks later were a bitter pill to swallow. A cruel cosmic joke reeling you back to the man you were trying to run away from â leaving a constant reminder of the downfall. Bile had risen in your throat, and you felt a petty feeling rise with it.
He didnât need to be in your life. You could do it alone. Who said you had to tell him? Perhaps that was wrong of you, a bit too childish, but you were still angry. Still running.
As your belly swelled, your feelings started seeming less bitter and more sweet. You moved out of your crappy one-bedroom apartment and into a fresh start, committing to your choice. Committing to the child in your womb and the choices that had led you there.
There was a tiny part of you that wanted to reach out, let him know, but you grew embarrassed each time you stared at his contact. You did not want him to feel like you were trapping him after he had made it clear that nothing more could happen between you.
For months you struggled with your decision, trying to wrangle your worries and insecurities about being a single mother. All the work, all the money, all the stress it was going to bring you.
It all seemed to fade away when you held your son in your arms, so small and screaming, and yet your heart filled with joy. He was perfect, with tiny fingers and toes, small tufts of dark hair atop his head. His eyes gave you pause â as they were unmistakably Jackâs.
You cried without really knowing why. Joy, longing, loss, love, or something in between had boiled up and then boiled over. Jack should know, echoed quietly in the back of your mind, he should know he has a son.
It felt too late to say it. You had had months to say something, anything and chosen not to. It was too late.
Despite the hardships you faced as a new mom facing it alone, Daniel was loved fiercely and spoiled when you could manage it. Your friends and co-workers helped when they could, and never let the absence of a father grow when they could help fill the void. Even your old co-workers came to see you and your son, visiting with curiosity soaking their eyes.
If any of them caught on, they didnât say anything.
â
It felt crazy to you that a year since your son had been born had passed so quickly, so fleetingly. You worked a lot to afford rent, food and childcare, but even still, it felt strange that a year had gone by without fanfare.
Your friend had been a lifesaver when she allowed you to use her backyard for his first birthday party. It would be a small affair, with only a handful of kids Daniel knew from daycare and a few of your friends and their kids. Perlah and Dana even stopped by, giving their well wishes from everyone.
When you ran out of ice for the coolers, you and one of your co-workers, Liam, offered to go get more at the corner store. You left Daniel in the caring hands of Dana and promised to be back in only a few minutes.
A few minutes turned into a few hours after you had been blindsided and t-boned by a car trying to run a red light. You felt hazy when the paramedics arrived, carefully trying to apply pressure to the gash on Liamâs leg.
When you were wheeled into PTMC, you felt a flood of panic. Hadnât you asked to head to Alleghany East? Maybe it had only been in your head. You prayed to whatever was out there that you would only see Robby.
Fate had other plans, it seemed, as Jack was the one who had come to the ambulance doors to assess you.
He stared at you like he had seen a ghost before buckling down and getting to work. He checked your pupils and your vitals, muttering something about a concussion, before checking over the handful of cuts the glass had made when the windows broke.
You were stable, so they wheeled you back into an open room to wait for a head CT. Jack lingered in the doorway, before shooing away an intern who had come to clean your wounds.
âHowâs my friend? Is he okay?â
Jack pulled the stool close to you, âHeâs just a room over. Nasty laceration, concussion, but Robbyâs taking care of him. Heâll be okay.â
You nodded and took a deep breath. You picked up your phone to call Dana.
âI shouldnât be long.â You told her after explaining what had happened.
âIâll be right there.â
âYou donât have to do that.â
âLike hell I donât. Donât you worry about a thing, Iâll take care of it.â
You sighed, âThank you, Dana.â
Jack, who had silently been cleaning your wounds, spoke, âSoâŚis it just me you donât talk to anymore?â
You scrunched your eyebrows and looked at him quizzically, âExcuse me?â
Hazel eyes flicked up to meet yours.
âI thought you made it clear that was the last thing you wanted.â You said, tone hard, lips dipping into a frown.
Jack let out a long sigh. âIt was a bad shift. Bad day. It doesnât excuse what I said. I was running from it being something real, Iâm sorry.â A long pause echoed. âBut Iâd like to try and at least be friends.â
Friends? It ached somewhere deep in your chest. You could not be friends. You had made that decision over a year before and decided against having him in your life at any capacity. You frowned at him, looking away from his face before you could crumble.
âI donât think thatâs wise.â You said quietly.
He nodded, pulling over the suture kit. That seemed to be the end of it.
You let him finish working while the silence washed over you, thick and guarded. Your thoughts felt cloudy, and your head hurt, your muscles ached, but doubt began to creep in.
Had you made the right decision? You wanted to believe so. With one foot constantly out the door, would he even make a good father? Had you waited too long to even consider telling him? You felt stuck in your head, going over all the what ifs until you felt queasy.
A knock sounded on the door, pulling you from your thoughts. Danaâs pleasant smile greeted you, but it was your son in her arms that made you flush with distress. You stared at her with wide eyes, heart picking up speed.
âSomeone was worried.â She told you simply, but her eyes flickered to Jack.
Jack looked up at Dana, then at the boy in her arms. The toddler was tucked against her neck, leaning on her like he was trying to sleep. Jack schooled his features easily, though it looked like he was disappointed for just a fraction of a second, which sent you reeling.
âShould I have someone call yourâŚboyfriend?â Jack asked tightly, looking back down at the stitch work.
âNo boyfriend.â You frowned, but accepted your son from Dana eagerly. Did Jack think that youâd had a baby with someone else? Good. Good. That was for the best. Bile burned your throat.
âHowâre you feeling, kid?â
âIâll be fine, thank you. Can you call my parents? Iâll need help getting him home.â
âOf course, Iâll be just outside if you need anything else.â Dana said, eyes moving to Jack and then back to you.
Your cheeks heated and you held your son tightly to your chest. You rubbed his back and hummed softly, though it was more to comfort yourself than him. Maybe Jack would not notice, just finish his stitches and be on his way and you could go on pretending this had never happened.
Though, thinking Jack wouldnât notice something was a foolâs game. Your son turned his head to look at him, blinking his tired hazel eyes at Jack. Like you had thought when you first saw them, they were like a mirror of each other.
Alarm raced through Jackâs features, eyes flickering from Daniel and back to you, eyebrows raised, breath caught. You stopped breathing, and your joints locked into place like you were bracing for it to all fall apart. He just stared at you.
âHow old is he?â
âJackââ
âHow. Old. Is. He?â
âA yearâŚtoday.â You said quietly. Meekly. Words cutting your throat like they had been glass.
It was simple enough to do the math, and his expression hardened. He stood, and the air shifted to something uncomfortable, uneasy, uncharted, unknown.
âJackâwaitâlet me explain.â
âSo I take it this is why everyone has been so secretive about why you left.â
âThey didnât know. No one knew.â
He gestured to where Dana stood in the hall.
âNo one knew for certain.â You elaborated, trying to defend them. Perhaps you could handle him being mad at you, but not the family you had made in the Pitt. You had never told them, and they had never asked, though from how she had handed your son to you, it was clear Dana had known.
âYou were never going to tell me.â It wasnât a question. It was an accusation.
Shame bubbled in your gut, low and searing, working its way upwards until tears formed. What you had been bracing for hit you like a punch to the chest â hurting more than that car had inflicted.
âI thought it was the right choice at the time.â
He scoffed and recoiled, his expression flinching between pain and anger.
âJackââ you sighed, leveling your voice so you didnât raise it. ââyou told me I could never understand you, or the role you played here. That asking for any more from you was pointlessâŚthat it had all been a mistake and I needed to move on. I really couldnât bear to work with you after that, so I left. I didnât know I was pregnant yet. Was it wrong to keep it from you once I found out? âŚyes. But I was hurt.â You swallowed tightly, and wiped away your tears, annoyed they were forming.
He walked to the far wall away from you, then paced back toward you before repeating himself, hands on his hips. His expression broached closer to unreadable, which fueled your panic. With a long, heavy sigh, he stopped to lean against the wall. Never one to stray from eye contact, he found your eyes. Heavy, hard, reserved.
âI thought it was for the best. I didnât want you to feel like I was trapping you, especially since it seemed like kids were the last thing on your list. I just wanted a clean break. I doubted my decision a lotââ
âAnd yet, you did nothing about it.â
You bit your lip. âIâm so sorry, Jack. I really messed up, I know that now. Time kept slipping away from me. I was still figuring out parenting â I still am â and to throw co-parenting into the mix? It felt like an impossible climb.â
âIf you had never come here todayâŚif Dana had never brought him inâŚyou never would have said anything.â
More tears came as shame burned your face, âMaybe youâre right. I donât know.â
Silences with Jack used to be comfortable, easy, as simple as breathing. The one now settling between you? It ached, it burned, it crushed.
âWhatâs his name?â Jack asked quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.
âDaniel.â
You swore you saw his eyes grow glassy.
âI made the wrong decision, and Iâll own up to that.â You admitted quietly. âI canât change what I did or didnât do, and Iâll never be able to apologize enough for it. I just thought thisâŚthis would be easier. For everyone involved.â
âIâm involved now. Donât fight me on that.â
âI wonât.â You vowed.
â
Trust was built back slowly, through long conversations and with actions followed through. It had been tense and awkward as your son grew to know Jack as his father, though he fell into the role like he was made for it. It only made the guilt over stealing a year of your sonâs life from him hurt all over again.
The tension and burning guilt were the hardest thing for you two to overcome. While he never raised his voice, he would grow accusatory when he remembered how much he had lost out on. You would double down on the night you had left him behind â or perhaps it truly was him leaving you behind â and the words he had said to you.
Neither of you were particularly blameless, not really. The relationship that had been was not one formed on a solid foundation, so everything felt like new territory. The pull of will they, wonât they, as Princess had put it, constantly making you question where you stood.
You just wanted to focus on co-parenting effectively, and Jack just wanted to focus on making up for lost time. That felt easy enough.
But something from the past â from the wreckage of what you had been â lingered like some part of you and Jack was haunted. An echo of what should have been fizzled just below the surface.
On the first night you felt secure enough to leave Daniel at Jackâs apartment, you settled in his kitchen to clean up a bit of the mess from dinner. Jackâs guest room had been quickly converted to be a bedroom for his son, pulling together everything he needed without complaint.
Jack wandered back into the kitchen after settling Daniel down for the night. You hummed softly, and Jack leaned against the doorway without saying anything.
âI know this is hard for you.â Jack said, hands in his pockets. âThank you for giving me tonight.â
You smiled even though a sadness lingered at leaving your son somewhere overnight that was not his home. But this would need to be his home, too, so you swallowed it.
âYou two need some quality time,â after I ripped the beginning away from you. âYou two will have fun tomorrow.â
â...I got an extra ticket, if youâd like to come with us.â
Hope bloomed, âYou did?â
âIâd like to put the past behind us. Move forward together.â He said, eyes never leaving yours.
Forgiveness had come with your sonâs echoing laughter and hues of blue shimmering against your skin, as light moved through the water. Daniel pointed up at the sharks in their tanks while Jack held him, watching in his own kind of excitement, a smile cracking against the corner of his mouth.
Jack had grabbed your hand without saying anything.
You intertwined your fingers and let out a long breath of relief.
â
Something like love had come in a flourish after Danielâs first words: dada. It might have felt like a punch to the gut, another cosmic joke, if it hadnât lit up Jackâs face in a smile you had never seen before. It warmed the ache in your chest and decided it was okay for Jack to have this first.
It felt like forgiving yourself.
You ended up staying the night, curling up against Jackâs chest while your son slept soundly in the next room. Neither of you wanted to rush what was blossoming between you, or jinx it. If you were going to go for it, you each deserved steady ground to stand on.
âYouâre doing really well with him.â You whispered. âI was worried it would feel clunky or unnatural to have you around. But it works.â
He looked at you for a long time. âI donât want to mess this up, too.â
You softened, âI think thatâs what parenthood is. Messing up and trying to do better, every day.â
âDo you think relationships are the same?â He asked, low and deliberate.
âYeah, I do.â
It felt like a confession.
He leaned down to kiss you, but paused just before his lips met yours. Your heart hammered against your ribs, and you wet your lips with your tongue.
âI like what we have. I donât want to screw it up by trying to be something weâre not.â You said quietly, though you felt the pull of wanting to kiss him.
Co-parenting had been bleeding closer to a relationship for quite some time, but you had not wanted to be the one who spoiled it.
âIâm not going to run this time, not if you donât.â
You swallowed, focusing on his eyes, âIâm here to stay.â
He captured your lips, pulling you flush against him, one hand going behind your head and the other settling on your hip. It was hesitant, but full of feeling, of all things left unsaid.
It felt like was a promise.
I hope you enjoyed, anon!
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casual (coming soon) (Dr. Robby)
champagne problems (coming soon) (Dr. Abbot)
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