Selfshipping Is Cool When You're 13 And It's Also Cool When You're 40. Everyone Should Selfship Forever

CONGRATS ON THE PURPLE HAIR HELL YESSSSSS🗣🗣👏👏👏👏👏👏

TY EDEN EEEEEEE

grinding on a man’s hairy tummy while he’s lying down with an arm lazily bent behind his head. he’s greedily soaking in your every movement and sound, pawing at your tits with his free hand—pointedly not helping you get off because you insisted you could do it yourself…

now playing…

guilty pleasure!! by chappell roan

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this concept took over my brain i fear…..

cw’s!!: porn with very little plot, not proofread + i was in a rush writing this so :p, pathetic gojo :))

ex bf! satoru who texted you begging to fuck

ex bf! satoru who’s only at your house right now because you (unfortunately) realized you needed him to cum

ex bf! satoru who (despite your protests) insists on fucking in missionary because ‘seeing your face will help him get off faster’

ex bf! satoru who’s usually so dominant and cocky in bed but is groveling the moment he’s inside of you

ex bf! satoru who whispers the sweetest words in your ear only for you to push his face away with a strained ‘shut up’

ex bf! satoru who leans in to kiss you only to catch your cheek or neck when you turn away from him

ex bf! satoru who can only whimper out ‘i love you’s when he gets close, silently begging you to return the words

ex bf! satoru who cums as soon as you finally pull him in for a kiss, whining a ‘thank you’ against your lips

ex bf! satoru who you want to kick out as soon as you’re done, but you can’t help but melt into his warmth. maybe one night wouldn’t hurt…

oh no omg i tripped!! i tripped and i fell and this fell out of my pocket!!!!! oh no how convenient and conspicuous oh no!!!!!!!!!! ><

i so badly wanna write the preliminary meeting that i mentioned in the yandere suguru thing…………. i just think it’ll be funnnn teehee ^^

now playing…

money, money, money!!! by abba

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okok so my beautiful bsf (luv u @monouser) introduced me to a japanese custom called kozukai and said “nanami.” so i said sir yes sir and now we’re here!!! ^.^

cw’s!!: fem! reader, family issues (rude comments :[), and petty husband nanami!!

wc: 1.1k (eeeeeee!!!!)

kento nanami had always considered himself to be a very sensible man. he had a stable income and occupation, a beautiful home, and was generally very mature and well-mannered.

until someone messed with you, then all of that carefully curated sensibility was thrown out the window.

see, when you had first mentioned the off-comments your family made about your relationship with him, — as much as it irked him — he urged you to brush it off. why should their opinions matter when the both of you are happy and healthy? you agreed (albeit begrudgingly), and simply moved on with your life. and honestly? everything fixed itself up for a while. your wedding went without a hitch, not one complaint or aggravating comment from any of your family members. you knew better though, that it was only a matter of time until it started again but worse. the calm before the storm, if you will.

of course, you were right.

as soon as you mentioned the new living arrangements to your family, it was nonstop. “you? a housewife? you could barely clean up after yourself when you were younger!”, “don’t you think that’s a little fast? you barely know how to cook a proper meal!”, “good luck to your husband, he’ll need it to deal with you.”

the next time you told your husband about the mean-spirited comments, there were tears lining your pretty eyes. as always, he was soft in his comfort, gently reassuring you that you didn’t need to do any of those things for him to be satisfied. “that’s a sad way to think.” he murmured, pressing his lips to your temple. “you’re not indebted to me because i chose to marry you. i take care of you because i want to. because i love you, do you understand?” when you nod, you think that’s the end of it. you and your husband love each other and that’s all that matters, end of story.

kento nanami was a sensible man, so of course he wasn’t planning any sort of revenge on your family. he was mature and stoic and well-mannered so when he suggested a family get-together at your shared home (“just formalities, my love. don’t you want them to see how happy we are?”), you didn’t even blink an eye. your husband wasn’t easy to anger. even if he was, he wasn’t one to act on it.

kento nanami was uptight and stubborn and sardonic in the best ways possible. but more than anything, your husband was petty.

kento had a plan when he walked up to you and the small group of family members you were speaking to. the conversation seemed to be going well at first, with them complimenting your home and gushing over the two gorgeous rings on your finger (he couldn’t help the small swell of pride that bloomed in his chest when you gave the diamonds a loving look). he had seen the way you tensed after something one of them said, a strained little laugh leaving your lips as your shoulders deflated slightly.

that’s when he swooped in, one of his hands resting against your hip while he pressed a kiss to your cheek. you gave him a soft smile, the spark of grateful relief in your gaze obvious to only him. “apologies for the interruption, my love. i just wanted to check in.” he muttered by your ear, giving your hip a small, reassuring squeeze. he knew your family was watching the interaction, probably wondering what he was telling you (he couldn’t care less).

he turned to your family once you assured him you were okay, giving them a polite nod of acknowledgment before turning back to you. “you look gorgeous in that dress, love. it was the best option out of the ones you showed me, i’m so glad you bought it.” his voice was pointedly louder than before, a detail only you caught that caused your brows to furrow slightly. what was he doing?

your family nodded along to his words before doing an almost comical double-take. “you bought it? with what money?” your brother was the first one to speak up, pointing (quite rudely, in your husbands opinion) directly at you while scoffing skeptically. your cheeks heated slightly in embarrassment, your lips parting to rebut his words until kento beat you to it.

“with her money.” he said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. your gaze moved between the two men, trying to gauge whether or not you should step in. “your husband gives you an allowance?” there was a barely restrained grin on your brothers face, the cruel giddiness only growing when you didn’t immediately respond.

“she gives me an allowance, actually.” your husband spoke up once again, the narrow-eyed look he sent his way making your brothers brows furrow. “it’s more common practice amongst businessmen, so it’s understandable that you weren’t aware.” kento sounds a little more smug now. “she handles all of the finances, including my allowance. i’m honestly quite useless in comparison, i simply go to work and come home.” he added, his thumb tracing a senseless pattern over your hip.

your brother was practically glaring at the self-satisfied look your husband was wearing. but of course, your brother never knew when to stop, even if it was a losing battle. “oh, of course, because my sister is the person to trust with all of your finances. right.” his voice dripped with venomous sarcasm, his eyes rolling as he spoke.

“don’t talk about my wife like that.” your husband said suddenly, his eyes narrowed into a glare directly aimed at your brother. the two men gave each other the stare down for a few moments while you and your other family members looked between the two of them with wide eyes. your brother was the first to concede (obviously), storming off with a petulant sort of huff. the rest of your family was quick to follow (after giving you and your husband a polite nod, of course. who would dare disrespect you after the show your husband just put on?).

kento turned to you with a sheepish look after they left, the aftermath of his initial aggravation finally hitting him. “too much?” he asked softly, carefully watching you for your reaction. you only shook your head, a small smile pulling at the corners of your lips.

it’s safe to say your family hesitated in their unneeded comments after that day.

OH MY GOD AND A SPIDERVERSE TRAILER???? i’m abt to be so insufferable

Y’all can find it cringe or get mad that some writers make a literal fictional character use a certain pet name all you want bc “hE’s jApAneSe hE wOuldN’T sPweAk lIke DaT🤓😡🤬🤬😤” well guess what? He wouldn’t speak fluent English in the first place, would probably be attracted to women from his country only, wouldn’t be a drug dealer, a cop, an Onlyfans content creator, a frat boy, a nerd, a mob boss, an actual good father, a CEO, a Chernobyl reactor or whatever the fuck either. But even though it’s headcanon and in some cases, it wouldn’t even be accurate with the fact that hE’s JaPanEse, y’all still enjoy that. You know why? Because it’s fan👏🏾fictions👏🏾about👏🏾a👏🏾fictional👏🏾character👏🏾

You can dislike it, it’s only normal and it’s only human but using his ethnicity and assuming how someone who doesn’t even exist would speak bc you don’t like something is hypocritical af when y’all are the same ppl liking the content mentioned above.

If you don’t like a specific content, go about your day, if it’s problematic, call it out if you want to. But don’t get all pissy and call out the same thing you’re enjoying. Thank you.

mdni ;3

cw for somnophilia :3

toji waking you up with his tongue to your pussy ever since you gave him permission to touch you while your asleep </3 you both can’t start your days without cumming anyways, so why not knock out two birds with one stone and do it together!!!!!!

i am so vividly imagining this rn. the warmth in your stomach, the little squint in his eyes because he just woke up too, the way he’s holding his tongue pointed so the tip is rightttttt against your sensitive little clit………..

the SOUNDS omfg the sounds that are coming out of this man. he’s moaning like it’s the best meal he’s ever had and it’s the first meal he’s had in years. michelin star dining. he’s insane.

u whine abt morning breath after he goes in to kiss u :33

whoa actually breathless from this one yall holy shit i think i’m gonna die

Nanami Kento is the kind of man who always makes sure his lady’s nails are done. He doesn’t care the shape nor color, just that you get his initials on your ring finger each time, an unofficial token of your love — until he gets you the real thing, of course.

He grows utterly weak in the knees whenever you get them obscenely long or a little pointy (bonus points if you get gems or sparkly glitter.) He loves how confident it makes you feel, how your eyes gleam with elated gratitude whenever he presents you with his credit card or a wad of bills, suggesting you take the day for yourself.

Amongst the few, minute joys that lurk on this godforsaken planet, there is nothing that makes Nanami happier than when his favorite girl spends his hard earned money. He even asked you to resign from your job because he makes enough for the both of you. He hates to see you working anyway, he is a provider after all. What did you expect?

He’d wait ever so patiently for you to come back home. Watching the news or cooking a warm, heartfelt dinner, keeping himself occupied as we awaits your return, just imagining what it is you bought this time — lingerie? New shoes? Hours later, when you’re finally stumbling through the door with several overflowing shopping bags, a fresh set of acrylics, and a beaming smile, his cock swells.

Of course he’ll have you try on everything you bought, it’s only right. It’s his money after all, he just wants to ensure that it’s been well spent. Slouched lazily in an armchair, he’d gawk, shamelessly admiring his pretty girl. Gaunt legs sprawled idly as his head cocks to the right, a slow, sleazy grin twisting his lips. The trail of his sharp gaze warm and unwavering as you strip for him. Every once in a while, the amber of the overhead light reflects off of the gems that adorn your nails, the subtle glint catching attention.

A deep, audible groan ensues each time you peel off a garment of clothing, only to replace it with another, giving him his own, private runway show. His knee would bounce in anticipation, poor, aching cock growing impossibly harder by the minute and you can tell; you can see the way it strains against the restricting fabric of his slacks, begging to be taken care of. He can’t help but to reach out for you, his big, greedy hands finding purchase at the thick of your hips to pull you close, claiming that he just wants to see your nails a bit better, but that’s what he always says.

And it’s always harmless, benign. That is until you inevitably end up with his drooling cock lodged in the very back of your throat, sinful bubbles of saliva escaping from the corners of your tautly stretched lips. He’d hold you hand endearingly, babbling on about how pretty your nails are, how much it turns him on when you spend his money, how he promises to spoil you for the rest of your life.

God, it’s taking every fiber of his being not to fish for his wallet and spread a hefty stack of blue striped bills across the ample fat of your ass. The mere thought makes his cock twitch, heavy hips pushing forward, forcing himself deeeep down your slutty little throat, a thick stream of arousal pooling against your tastebuds.

He whines. “Fuuuuucck,” huffing out a strangled breath, an unintentional gasp following, “sweetheart, you are sooo perfect… such perfect throat, godddd… the way you’re looking u-up at me.” Nanami groans, blindly reaching for your hand, dragging it toward his slick, parted lips, “need to marry you — swear to fuckin’ god m’gonna marry you.” His tongue is whorishly lolling out before he’s drawing your fingers in deep, drooling down all of your pretty knuckles.

You're audibly sputtering around him in agreement, saliva spilling down your chin and pooling near the fat of his swollen balls. Gag after helpless gag reverberates from your occupied mouth, the poor, weeping head sinking deeper and deeper with each subtle buck of his hips, painting your throat in haphazard spurts of precum. He needs you like this forever, to take his cock like this forever. He'd give anything to make you his slutty, little wife forever and ever and —

“Pleasepleaseplease tell me you wanna marry me too,” he whines, warm, eager tongue wrapping so possessively around your ring finger, pulling it into his mouth, "oh, god please tell me you want that. I need you forever, baby... need this pretty little mouth forever.” His thick, blonde brows furrow so sweetly, voice strained and so plainly conquered by his evident love.

Physically, you can't respond and he knows; he's deliberately tucking himself deeper, the neat tufts of hair that adorn his girthy base tickling your chin. All you can offer him is a loud, helpless gag as you nod and he whimpers in relief. Yesyesyes, I'll marry you, is all he hears, your obedient, glassy eyes a testament.

So, why are you surprised when he’s hastily fetching a small, velvet box from the pocket of his discarded slacks, cracking it open in fervid anticipation, his cock resting heavily against your tongue? You said yes, right?

baby, my phone!!

college student! tenko shimura x popular! reader

my first ever smau aaaaa!!! this is a quirk-free college au teehee (for my sanity pls note each of these conversations take place like days/weeks apart. pls.)

pt 2!!

cw’s!!: one or two kys/die jokes, dry texter tenko (i luv him), gn! reader, and the fastest burn you’ve ever seen (i have no patience)