Song In My Head 24/7? I’d Have To Say Teenage Dirtbag By Wheatus!

I am still waiting, Hishe…

Kal: Bruce, there you are — what in the world?

Bruce: Hey Kal.

Kal: Who are all these kids?!

Bruce: My Bat Family. I’m a dad now.

Kal: Since when?!

Bruce: Since 1940. Try to keep up.

Kal: I thought it was just the one! Hi, Nightwing.

Dick: Hi Superman! Yeah, I have siblings now.

Kal: And how’s that working out?

Dick: Most of us have died at least once.

Kal: …What?

Bruce: Hey Kal, check it out. This one’s super smart, and we have matching coffee mugs.

Tim: :)

Bruce: This one…

Cass: …

Bruce: Actually, this one scares me. And this one glows in the dark! Heheh!

Duke: :D

Kal: I can see that…

Damian: Father, I’m hungry. When are we having dinner?

Bruce: How many criminals have you caught today?

Damian: *holds up three villains* Is this sufficient?

Bruce: Eh, it’s good enough. Here. *tosses him a tofu hotdog, like just the dog part* Keep working on it. Three more and you get the bun.

Kal: *horrified silence*

Dick: Hmph! When I was Robin, I could catch at least five criminals before dinner.

Tim: Oh my gosh, Dick, no one cares!

Jason: No one cares about anything in this stinkin’ family. Where were you all when I died, huh?!

Everyone: *groan*

Damian: Quit being such a drama queen, Todd! It’s not like losing your life is the end of the world!

Tim: Yeah!

Damian: You shut up. The only thing you’ve ever lost is your spleen.

Duke: And his parents.

Everyone except Damian: *parental trauma* AH!

Bruce: I told you never to mention that!

Kal: I can’t believe what I’m watching… Does Alfred know about this?!

Bruce: Yeah, totally, he’s cool with it.

Kal: *narrowing his eyes* I have a very hard time believing that.

Bruce: Well, he works for me, so shut up.

Kal: What about Catwoman?! Does Catwoman know about this?!

Bruce: *nervous* Um… well…

Damian: *suspicious* Who’s Catwoman?

Bruce: *very nervous* No one.

Dick: Oh, he is so dating Catwoman!

Tim: Why didn’t you tell us?!

Jason: What if we don’t want a step-mom, huh?!

Bruce: Woah, hold on now —

Duke: Look, you’re upsetting Batgirl!

Cass: …

Bruce: Alright, that’s enough! We’re not gonna talk about this anymore! Because —

Everyone: *annoyed* — you’re Batman!

Bruce: No! Because I said so! …And also, yes, because I’m Batman! Cause Batman says so!

Kal: *smirking* More like because you’re Bat-Dad.

Bruce: >:(

Kal: And hey, where’s Barbara? I thought she was Batgirl?

Bruce: *nervous* She was…

Kal: …Bruce, what did you do?

Dick: Oh, don’t worry, Superman, Barbara’s fine.

Kal: Oh, thank goodness.

Jason: She’s just paralysed from the waste down.

Kal: Bruce!

Bruce: It wasn’t my fault! She’s not even technicially my kid!

Kal: Bruce…

Bruce: Oh, don’t you “Bruce” me. I’ll “Bruce” you… “Bruce” you in the face.

Kal: Okay, that’s it, you are not allowed to find any more sidekicks starting right now!

Bruce: *holding up Harper* What about this one?

Kal: No!

Bruce: *holding up Spoiler* This one still has a parent — I can just be a mentor.

Kal: No!

Bruce: Well, gee, Kal, what am I supposed to do with all the orphans in Gotham, then, huh?!

Kal: Do you hear yourself right now?

Bruce: I have a system, Kal!

Kal: That’s it! There’s only way to solve this!

*Superman grabs Batman, and they fly off*

*Batman then appears on the couch in Therapist Spider-Man’s office from Across the Spider-Verse*

Therapist Spider-Man: Would you say you carry any trauma from your childhood?

Batman: *leans over* Do I have a story for you.

Damian being ready to fight Santa is one of my most favorite things alongside Bruce taking any chance he can to talk shit about Batman like they aren’t the same damn person

Weirdly specific fanfic tropes in the Batman Fandom that I love

Cuddle Pollen: Ivy’s pollen but it just makes you crave human contact to the point it’s painful

People avoiding Bruce Wayne adopting them: sometimes the adoptee is a canon bat child other times it’s LadyBug or Spider-Man. Bruce absolutely dragging Batman through the mud to the press for no apparent reason: You would think such a specific prompt could not possibly have that many fics. You would be wrong. The Justice League finding out Bruce has 10+ children and being shook: It always goes one of two ways, either one of his kids was hiding under his cape and outs him or they all show up when Bruce inevitably needs help Tim destroying another company out of pure petty spite: Idk why it's always him, but it is. The reason can vary but it's typically in defense of another family member

Actual Ray of Sunshine Robin!Jason seeing the neglected little gremlin that is 9 yrs old Tim Drake and deciding to keep him: it’s always so funny. 90% of the time it’s just Jason telling Bruce “We’re keeping him” and Bruce just being like “ok”

Damian trying to fight Santa Clause: I don’t know when exactly we as a fandom decided that not only did Damian believe in Santa, but that he is ready to fight him at any given moment but I hope it never stops

my humble offerings on this february 19th

I do believe I would like to write Superbat fan fiction where the hell do I start chat 💔

A little reminder to appreciate the writers and artists in your fandom spaces!! Comments and likes and reblogs are a great way to encourage the creators keeping the fandom spaces alive. ❤️‍🩹

Fandom is a community! So let’s keep the community alive together.

Also remember that a lot of creators have commissions available and that’s a great way of supporting them as well if it’s possible for you 🩷

My love for Superbat is so strong I can’t put it into words, I mean just look at them 🥺❤️

been reading world's finest comics and fell in love with superbat co-parenting robin dynamic. that's litcherally their son

Stop letting your heart and your pussy choose your men.

Alfred, stitching up Bruce: and what do we think you perhaps should have done differently, master Bruce?

Bruce, delirious: I think I should have died with my parents

✨✨ DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE DANCE ✨✨

OKAY I RHINK I GOT IT (im too indecisive i have not got it, however I have options)