A Nosy Socialite At An Event, Leaning Down: “Oh Richard, It Must Be So Hard For You In That House,

alfred gave them the sheets

what is your favorite ao3 tag in the batman fandom and why is it "No Batcest | No Batfamily Incest (DCU)"

Facts 😎

^^

send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it

I hate having to make posts like this, but I also hate starving to death

My significant other and I have been trapped into another shitty household (cyclical abuse, yay!), and we have nowhere else we can go

(For context: this house is owned by my significant other’s mom(who we pay rent to), and we live with my s/o’s brother(who makes the house a huge mess that we are forced to clean up). Both are manipulative and abusive)

Neither of us can drive (yet, we’re working on getting some money together for a permit)

Neither of us have jobs yet (difficult to get hired when you’re disabled/have unreliable transportation)

We’ve run out of money paying bills, paying rent, and buying groceries for the house (which our roommate has helped himself to, so-)

We’re out of food (our roommate only buys groceries for himself, and helps himself to ours since WE don’t let people go hungry)

We’ve been rationing our food to try and make it last until one of us gets a job, but since only one of us has experience/isn’t disabled we can’t hold our breath.

This isn’t even including the emotional exhaustion of having to constantly be on guard since our roommate is a known liar and theif, and has taken things from our room. We asked permission to install a lock on our door, got the OK, and installed it.

But Now

My s/o’s mom has kicked up a huge fuss and demanded we give our housemate a key (in case the water heater stops working/a fuse is blown, etc.), completely defeating the purpose of the lock.

There was an agreement made before all this that our housemate has to prove he’s responsible enough to live here, and he was given three whole months to do so(he has until the end of June). He has so far trashed the house 4 times, and we have been forced to clean it up.

Bottom line

We need to be able to eat, afford a driver’s permit (& subsequently a driver’s license), and be able to get the hell out of here when the hammer finally drops

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If you can’t commission/donate/etc. reblogs are appreciated! Likes just inflate the notes!

Humanitarian Appeal

‼️She will die at any time‼️😭Emergency, read my story and help me 🚨

"One moment can change everything

My daughter suffers from kidney failure and autism

due to the devastating consequences of war and malnutrition. He urgently needs donations for his ongoing treatment and a life-saving kidney transplant help to cover the high costs of his medical care and surgery, which could save his life and improve his health.

We kindly appeal to compassionate individuals to donate and support us during this difficult time.

Thank you for your cooperation and generosity.

I am asking for $25 or 50$ , which will make a significant difference in my life and my family’s🙏🏻💔

🔴My child extends her hands to you. Do not leave her facing death. If you can, your support is a lifeline for her. No one helps me or cares about her illness. Please, from a humanitarian standpoint.

https://gofund.me/8dce001c

Unfortunately there isn’t anything I can do but give you exposure. ):

A Not so Stereotypical Romance

Husks pov

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Ugh it’s so bright down here,I don’t get why mimzy wants to keep the lights the brightest around the damn bar.I mean I could practically bartend in my sleep so I didn’t need them besides it gets annoying as hell.”Hey! Bartender get me a scotch will you?”Jesus Christmas not this idiot again.”alright!”seriously assholes that can’t hold their liquor should not be aloud over here. I guess I should just make the damn drink already ‘the quicker ya get done the sooner he’ll leave ya alone d’

3rd person pov

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Dimitri worked quickly and silently making the man’s drink.he slid the glass over to the man before turning to the sink and grabbing a glass to start cleaning with a damp rag.He sighed,finding the background chatter of the speakeasy to be obnoxious.He set down the glass and left the bar,he walked over to a table near the stage where a blonde haired woman sat.”hey rosie imma go on break alright?” Rosie sends a nod in his direction far to entranced by the little woman on the stage to give husk her full attention.”I’ll tell mimzy that your on break when she’s done with her performance.oh and do be back soon a friend of ours is coming to visit and mimzy wants him to meet you.” “sure whatever…”he calls back as he walks towards the stairs.

Walking outside into the cool fall air,he lets out a sigh of contentment at the silence he was greeted with.walking into a nearby alley way he leans against the cool brick of the building above the speakeasy in attempt to quell his raging headache. Searching his pockets for a cigar

Husks pov

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This isn’t working, I need a smoke or something…Ofcourse I don’t have any when I actually need one! Great. Now Wh-“here! You look like you could use one”well yea I did buddy thanks for stating the obvi…damn.(he’s cute)he sure is nice to look at,dark brown hair(it looks sorta maroonish actually)and pretty brown eyes hidden behind a pair of round cheaters.don’t think I’ve ever seen im’ around before-“are you alright sir?”was I staring? Shit I think I was.”sorry kid it’s just not every day that someone wants ta talk for something other than a drink ya know?”he laughs(its a nice sound honestly)”believe me I know what it’s like”he smiles softly as he pushes his hair outta his face”this is actually the first time today that I’ve had non-female company”dammit he’s probably straight(or not?)”What for kid?” We probably aren’t all that older than he is you know?”oh just fans”he waves his-very well manicured-hand in dismissal. fans?what for(he’s cute that’s why)hey he sound familiar now that I think about it but who?eh,geuss it ain’t important anyway” I gotta go breaks over wish I coulda accepted the smoke though.” I went to leave but he stopped me”here, you can keep it im guessing you need it more than I do”huh(cute and considerate) I left after that, My breaks only so long.though that was probably the best work break I’ve ever had(sure rosie is definitely gonna beat my ass over my tardiness but it was good.)

Alastor’s pov

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I watched as the tall man walked into mimzy’s speakeasy,he was nice company! I wonder what his na-(wait….we never caught his name did we? dammit!)oh well I guess I will soon.(he was nice to look at)No he wasn’t! He was unkept and he had messy black hair and deep green eyes that might have been slightly pleasing(very pleasing!)and sure he was tall but not all that taller than me so it’s not totally impressive!(sure it’s not Al)and sure maybe his messy black hair had a nice silver like sheen to it in the moonlight but that’s not important or anything(love at first sight much?)No! That’s not it.(he fills out his uniform nicely it’s sorta hot.)I-well yea okay I suppose he does a little bit.(yes!)not that it matters(bu-)Alright! Let’s get going or else rosie’ll have my head

3rd person pov

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Alastor smiled to himself as he righted his bow tie and walked down the stairs to the speakeasy.as he did he was met with the sound of jazz and background chatter of the other party goers.”Hey! Al over here!”a short blonde woman in a pink flapper dress called out happily.He smiled and waved at her as he walked over”mimzy dear its wonderful to see you again!”mimzy smiled back almost managing to match his”sure is!’specially with how busy we’ve both been as of late.” Alastor nods in agreement as he turned to address the flappers beau “good evening today rosie dear?” he say as he tipped his imaginary cap earning a giggle from both girls”it is Alastor thank you for asking dear”the three friends started up the small talk and had kept going until Al caught a glance at the bartender.”say um mimzy darling,who’s that?”he mumbles trying to stay discreet as possible while pointing at him”who? Oh! Right that’s dimitri he’s our new bartender!”mimzy answered excitedly happy about their newest hire”he’s really mellow and he knows his way around the bar very well!” Rosie nods” I agree, he’s already gotten my order down perfectly”she points out.Al nods as the girls speak but he’s to busy watching the bartender to pay attention to his friends.

Alastor’s pov

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Dimitri?(that’s his name!)oh,it’s a nice fit(dimitri..it’s nice to say)yea I suppose it is right?(the girls are staring say something!)oh! Right um”are you alright Al?”shit.”yep! I’m fine dear why do I look okay?”(ah yes worry about your appearance you won’t seem vain at all)shut up.”yes but you’re face is a little red are you sure you’re alright dear?”great now they’re both concerned.”I can assure you rosie darling I’m fine.”great now mimzy had that stupid look on her face(that ‘I know what your thinking’ look?)yep that’s the one.(you are so queer it’s sad)you’re are to(the body and the mind are not one)whatever

3rd person

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The girls exchange looks and secretive smirks,mimzy turns to look at Al who refused to meet her gaze”hey d! Come over here will ya?”she yells out to the bar.Al’s eyes widen as he turns to look at the two women as dimitri walked over.”oh hey your the kid who gave me the cig thanks”dimitri nods at him in thanks as the cigar in question hung loosely from his mouth.

Husk’s pov

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(Oh look the cute guys back)mhm didn’t think I’d catch him here though.(well?)well what?(introduce yourself to him idiot!)alright alright.”hey,I’m dimitri but everyone calls me husk.”(husk?who calls you that?) Well no one but he will now,(your stupid)whatever.”Alastor Dubois nice to meet you Husker!”(husker?) I dunno but it’s cute(yea right)shut up asshole(anyway,Alastor’s a cute name!)doesnt it mean revenge?

(i think so,he seems nice tho)true”dimitri dear can you go make us a few drinks please?” Huh?(Rosie’s asking you to do your job stupid)oh right”sure,uh is there anything specific that you like or don’t like Alastor?”(he smiles a lot)”I’m fine with anything really and please call me Al Husker”(the way he says that will be the death of us I’m sure)you said it(we should get him whiskey!)what why?that shits bitter as hell are we trying to drive him away?(no dummy I just wanna see if he can hold his liquor.)oh yea I guess it would be fun to test that.

3rd person pov

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Dimitri walks off to the bar waving to one of his coworkers as he did.Making his way over to the ice box he digs around in it looking for the whiskey and gin,once he finds the liquors he needed he started to make mimzy’s gin rickey and Rosie’s French 75.He finishes both drinks with skill and a bit of flair having acquired a small audience without realizing.he sets the girls drink’s on a tray before grabbing two of the nicest looking glasses he could find and set them down next to the whiskey,he then waved goodbye to his fellow barkeepers as he walked back to the table his boss and her friends were at.As he walked he noticed that there were a lot of women staring at Alastor who didn’t seem to notice.He was to busy going back and forth with Rosie.Dimitri decided to shrug it off as it didn’t concern him.

Alastor’s pov

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“Mimzy dear I just don’t understand why you’re so attached to that man””well why wouldn’t I be”(is she serious?)of course not”well maybe because you l’ai poignardé?”(she stabbed him to death how does she keep forgetting)no idea,you’d think she would remember something like that.”yea okay well-“just as I thought she’s speechless.(oh look husker’s back!)

he is, I wonder how he made the drinks so quick?(who cares they look so good!)they could easily be 70% arsenic(you’d like that wouldn’t you though?)…that’s unimportant.”here y’a go ladies”(Woah!)their drinks look delicious.(I can see why mimzy hired him!)so can I…”Here ya go kid”what’s this?”thank you Husker”(an empty glass?)Oh! Wait he’s filling it now.

3rd Person pov

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Husk started to pour the whiskey in the two glasses after handing Alastor his,he glanced at Al while he poured and smirked as Al turned his gaze to the floor.”say dimitri how old are you?”Mimzy inquired “24”husk responded sounding far more interested in his alcohol than he was the conversation.”isn’t that swell! Just so happens that Al’s 22!”she said happily as alastor rolled his eyes looking out towards the stage watching the flappers dance.husk just nodded,not sure how else to respond to information he didn’t ask for. Alastor hummed softly to himself as he took sips finding himself stealing glances at husk.once the girls finished dancing and the stage was vacant Al checked his watch.”oh dear it’s 12:20 already?”he mumbled to himself only for mimzy to overhear”really? Ally don’t go yet”she whined.Al gave her an apologetic smile before turning to husk”I apologize for having to cut our time together short and do hope to see you again Husker.”Alastor explained he then waved rosie goodbye and walked out.he hummed to himself as he walked feeling giddier than usual,he wasn’t sure why but decided to blame it on the whiskey he drank earlier.he had been having so much fun that he hadn’t noticed what time it was.Soon he stopped in front of a small townhouse.Pulling a key from his pocket he opened the door and walked inside.

Alastor’s Pov

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I like being home,I mean I like being out in the streets as well but it’s nice to be home.(look there’s Devil!)”hey devil!”(you know that’s a weird name for a cat right?)I know but it fits her(remember when we thought she was a boy?)yes I remember,she hated us for it.(that was a fun month and a half)It was,It certainly was…(what’s wrong?)Nothing!(your doing that thing again)

What thing are you talking about?(you know what I’m talking about,that thing you do where you repeat the same thing twice while staring off into space like an idiot)an idiot? I haven’t the faintest idea as to what your on about.(Ofcourse you don’t….hey is it about that Husker boy?)Wh- of course not.why would it be?(because no one else makes you feel this way.and I would know that)and why’s that?(I’m your conscious,you forget?)…okay I guess that makes sense but that doesn’t mean that this has anything to do with Husker.(you just smiled)so what? I’m always smiling it’s my brand.(no. Not like one of those sickingly sweet fake ones, that one was the most genuine one you’ve made in a really long time)I am choosing to ignore you now. I have work to do and I can’t let you distract me with ‘morals’ or what ever you call them.(your a terrible person.)I know but thank you for the reminder!

Husks Pov

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“Well wasn’t he sweet?”mimzy asked,well I dunno its not like he stayed long enough to tell.(he was so polite)yes but sweetness and politeness are different things.(I guess so)”well?”(you should answer her)”He was alright I guess.”(ah yes sound uninterested in him and then think all about him!)that’s not what I’m doing at all.(sure.)”alright?”rosie inquired what does she mean?(she’s asking why you sound so uninterested dummy)about what(Alastor obviously,I mean just about everyone else can tell)Al too?(well everyone except him but-)

but nothing as long as he can’t tell I could care less who knows.(Rosie’s waiting for her answer lover boy)”Yea,well I ain’t really met him yet y’know? We was just gettin’ through the formalities and all that jazz”(‘all that jazz’ is definitely a new phrase for you)oh just shut up”oh well Ofcourse that makes sense! And I’m sure you would love alastor in his natural habitat anyway,much more relaxed.We’ll drop by tomorrow!”mimzy squealed(go where?)go why?(oh don’t be that way,I would love to see Al relaxed and I know you would too)yea whatever

3rd pov

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The three adults at the table soon finish their drinks.mimzy stood from her chair and announced”I’m off to the stage for my closing performance wish me luck!” Before walking off to her dressing room.husk put all the glasses on the tray and walked back to the bar to finish his shift,slipping in past his coworkers to finish his job.rosie had turned her attention back to the stage now interested in it again.Mimzy soon walked out to the stage and started her preformance.Soon it was 2:00am and with one glance at the clock he grabbed his coat and said his goodbyes.he left the speakeasy and headed towards the trolley.he knew that there was one that came late at night as it was the one he usually rode.he’d make to the stop just in time like he normally did,step in and pay the fair and find his normal seat near the window in the 4th row.

The end

◦

(I might continue this!)

“Girls want a Superman, but they walk past a Clark Kent every day”

You fuckin CLOWNS think you’re a CLARK KENT? Not on my fuckin watch. You dumb, headass motherfuckers are barely a Guy Gardner and you think you’re a CLARK KENT? The amount of disrespect is unreal.

Damian being ready to fight Santa is one of my most favorite things alongside Bruce taking any chance he can to talk shit about Batman like they aren’t the same damn person

Weirdly specific fanfic tropes in the Batman Fandom that I love

Cuddle Pollen: Ivy’s pollen but it just makes you crave human contact to the point it’s painful

People avoiding Bruce Wayne adopting them: sometimes the adoptee is a canon bat child other times it’s LadyBug or Spider-Man. Bruce absolutely dragging Batman through the mud to the press for no apparent reason: You would think such a specific prompt could not possibly have that many fics. You would be wrong. The Justice League finding out Bruce has 10+ children and being shook: It always goes one of two ways, either one of his kids was hiding under his cape and outs him or they all show up when Bruce inevitably needs help Tim destroying another company out of pure petty spite: Idk why it's always him, but it is. The reason can vary but it's typically in defense of another family member

Actual Ray of Sunshine Robin!Jason seeing the neglected little gremlin that is 9 yrs old Tim Drake and deciding to keep him: it’s always so funny. 90% of the time it’s just Jason telling Bruce “We’re keeping him” and Bruce just being like “ok”

Damian trying to fight Santa Clause: I don’t know when exactly we as a fandom decided that not only did Damian believe in Santa, but that he is ready to fight him at any given moment but I hope it never stops