♪ It's just that I fell in love with a war ♪ ♪ Nobody told me it ended ♪
༻¨*:· summary ·:*¨༺ You break a bowl, Remus tries to comfort you. An argument ensues.
༻¨*:· notes ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 reader's previous relationship was abusive 𖦹 a bloody hand (but nothing graphic) 𖦹 gn!reader (they/them pronouns) 𖦹 a sprinkle of angst 𖦹 hurt/comfort 𖦹 remus lupin calling you his darling and his love 🜷⌣🜷 𖦹 remus lupin being the best partner ever 𖦹 he's so boyfriend 𖦹 inspired by the song 'A Pearl' by Mitski 𖦹 fluffy ending bc i'm a huge crybaby 𖦹 i did not proofread this bc i'm lazy ⎝(ˊᗜˋ)⎠
༻¨*:· word count ·:*¨༺ 𖦹 2.1k
"Sometimes, I wish I was a star," Your voice was quiet as you peered into the black sky, stars scattered across it. They looked like pearls. Precious.
He looked at you in admiration, "Why?"
"Because they're up there," You sighed, "And they take time to paint each star. To them, each one is just as important as the one before, and they ensure they are all beautiful."
"Who's up there?" There was genuine interest in his tone, and it warmed your heart.
"The person I used to be." You felt silly saying it, and you were scared he was going to judge you.
There was a beat of silence.
Instead of judgement, he reached for your hand and interlocked your pinkies, whispering: "You're precious. Like a pearl."
Your face grew warm.
Remus anxiously waited for you—he was gnawing at his fingernails. He scolded himself; you hated when he chewed on his fingernails.
1:39
"They're only nine minutes late, Remus. It's okay. They're okay. We're okay," He muttered.
Remus had an underlying fear that you would leave him. It wasn't because of the whole werewolf thing—okay, maybe it was the werewolf thing, but only a little bit; and he was working on that.
It was because of something you were going through. Remus didn't understand what you were going through; he couldn't understand. That was one of the many intricate parts of your relationship.
You didn't want him to understand because he could only understand if he went through the same thing. You certainly did not want him to go through that.
That is what brought you here, on the floor, curled into yourself, sobbing.
"He doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve me," You wailed, looking at your hands
Remus stood up, it had been half an hour, and he knew you weren't showing up.
He felt tired.
Not of you, never of you, but of this feeling. This emotion that appeared to be swallowing you whole and seemingly had its eyes set on your relationship as its next victim.
You heard the key in the door, and a wave of panic hit you. Then, as it washed over you—submerging you and taking your breath—the panic turned into guilt.
You were supposed to meet Remus at the park, and you were ... crying?
He toed his shoes off and walked to the kitchen, where he heard you weeping.
Upon seeing you, his heart felt like the shattered pieces of porcelain at your side. You were sobbing because you broke a bowl. Then, you started apologizing. It was frantic and compulsive, just a simple "I'm sorry" repeatedly falling from your chapped lips.
He wondered how anyone could see you like this and get mad at you.
"Darling?" He knew his voice had to be quiet. You were fragile right now—he assumed your breaking of the bowl triggered you. At this point in the relationship, identifying the trigger was somewhat easy. Identifying the feelings the trigger brought up was the challenging part. It didn't help that sometimes you couldn't articulate your feelings.
One of those times seemed to be now. Remus loathed that all you could say was, "I'm sorry."
Then, he noticed the dry blood on your hand and wanted to joke about how
'You've only broken a bowl. You didn't kill someone, even though you've got literal blood on your hands.'
He didn't. Maybe he'll tell you later.
He knelt beside you.
Remus didn't think anything of it. He just wanted to wipe your cheek and relieve it from the layer of tears.
To him, it was harmless. To you, it was frightening.
You shrunk into yourself as he brought his hand up, and you scrunched your face, bracing for a slap, or a hit, or something physically violent.
Remus brought his hand down, and his lips pressed together.
"I'm not gonna hurt you," He whispered, "I'll never hurt you. You're safe her, Darling. You're safe."
Your next inhale was sharp, and your face relaxed with the shaky exhale that followed. You opened your eyes to look at Remus, who spoke gently, "Why don't I clean up your hand, okay?"
At your nod, he spoke again. "Can I touch you?"
You shake your head, "It's not because of you. It's— It's—"
At your wavering voice, he stepped in, "I know, Darling. I know"
He didn't understand why you felt you had to explain why you said no, just that you were wired to do so. It hurt him—deeply.
You stood slowly, knowing you would get dizzy if you stood too fast. And if you got dizzy, there was a possibility that you would fall, and if you did, Remus would either try to catch you, or you would injure yourself. If Remus caught you, he would be touching you, making you even more miserable. If you got hurt he—being the angel he is—would take the blame and never forgive himself. Both would make him feel worse. You already missed lunch together because you dropped this stupid bowl and—
"My Lovely?" Remus repeated for the fourth time; this time, it snapped you out of your frantic thoughts.
You looked at him, "Hm?"
"To clean your hand, I'm going to have to touch it. Is that okay?" His talking was slow and calm, and it oddly made you mad.
"I said I didn't want you to touch me!" You felt your heart beat faster, and adrenaline rushed over you.
Remus was so incredibly tired, and he didn't feel like fighting. He hated fighting with you—it was gut-wrenching.
"I know, but I don't want your hand to get infected because it's not clean."
"Stop speaking to me like I'm a child, Remus."
You knew what you were doing, and it was wrong, but it felt so right to pick a fight. You hated yourself for it.
Remus sighed.
You swore you could feel the blood pumping through your veins and drew your brows together, "Don't sigh at me."
Remus knew better than to indulge in your argument, but he couldn't help himself.
"All I am trying to do is help you."
Your brain was foggy, "Well, you're not helping. If anything, you're making it WORSE!"
You have said a lot of things in past arguments. Never anything like this.
"Wait, no—" You quickly went to correct yourself.
"I'm making it worse?" He repeated your bitter words. "Really? Because if I'm making it worse, I can leave. I can leave you here and never try to help you again if I make everything so much worse."
"That's not what I said!" You argued back, "I never said you make everything worse. Stop twisting my words!"
"I'm not twisting your words, Y/n. This—" He waved his arms around the broken porcelain, then around you, "this is everything."
Too far.
"I am a person, Remus. I am not just my trauma." Your voice was quiet.
"Aren't you!?"
You looked at your bloody hand, "I'm sorry, Remus. I—" Your voice cracked, and you went silent.
Hit turn to feel guilty.
"Can I clean your cut?" He muttered.
You gave him your hand.
"Can I touch you?"
You somberly nodded your head.
His touch was soft, and you started to sweat. You hated this feeling. You hated fearing that his fingers would turn harsh after they softly cleaned your hand.
And you felt bad for being scared, because you knew Remus would never hurt you. Still, something in you was constantly on edge, a primal instinct to protect yourself before you got hurt.
He once said you reminded him of a pearl. He would give you pearl necklaces and earrings and bracelets. A precious pearl, that's what he would call you.
The jewelry stayed in your jewelry box, untouched since you left him. You weren't sure why you kept them—maybe to remind yourself that it was real. It could be because the pearls symbolized what you thought his love was.
It wasn't love, though, it was manipulation, and it was toxic.
And, as much as you didn't want to believe it, it was abuse.
Perhaps you kept the pearls because they were part of that toxicity.
Remus finished cleaning your hand somewhat ten minutes ago; you hadn't realized, too deep in thought.
Too busy thinking about the pearls again.
He stained part of you, a part of yourself that you now call The Pearl.
It started small, and you were able to control it at first.
Now, it seemed unmanageable.
The Pearl taunted you. It told you to be explosive because it knew Remus wouldn't be. Explosions cause chaos, and chaos is safe. That's what it told you.
But then, when the chaos was over and done with, it told you that you were toxic and abusive—it said you were a monster and that you were just like him.
You would indulge in The Pearl—you did everything it told you to do. You believed everything it told you to believe.
Maybe you were toxic.
"Y/n?" Remus repeated. His voice was quaint and delicate. You could tell he didn't want to startle you.
"Do you want to go sit on the couch? Maybe we can talk over there?"
You nodded, trudged your way to the couch, and plopped down. A heavy sigh escaped your lips.
You, too, were tired of this feeling.
Once he sat down, you quickly spoke, "I'm sorry, Remus."
"I'm not going to tell you it's okay 'cos it wasn't, but I'm also sorry. I said some very hurtful things, and I know better than to let it get out of hand—"
You wanted to scream, not at Remus, at yourself. You interrupted him, "Remus, t's not your fault. I let it get to me."
"My Darling, I'm still having trouble understand what 'it' is. I know you've tried before, but can you try and explain again? Because I can't keep doing this. My Lovely, I can't keep arguing with you. It hurts too much."
Perhaps it wasn't the best wording, but you knew what he meant.
"I'm sor—"
He cut you off, "Don't apologize."
You nodded.
"It's like there's this—" You took a deep breath. You had to tell him, no matter how scary it was.
"He used to call me his precious pearl," You started, looking down into your laps where your hands rested, "And I was his. He trapped me for years, and I became his."
Remus didn't like hearing that, but he put his anger aside.
"He changed me, Remus." You looked into his soft, lovely amber eyes. He wasn't judging you.
"Do you know how pearls form?"
He looked at you with confusion and shook his head.
"When an oyster comes in contact with a foreign substance, it traps and covers it with the same stuff that makes its shell. As time goes on, this material—the one that makes the shell—builds and creates a pearl."
Remus slowly nods, "Okay."
"Well, when this process occurs naturally, it doesn't hurt the oyster." You look back down into your lap, "But there are pearl farms where harvesters will cut the oyster and insert irritants." You looked back at him, "Pearls are formed to defend the oyster. When this process happens artificially, it usually hurts the oyster because the harvesters do it with little care."
Remus nodded again, "You know I'm very interested in the things you enjoy talking about, but I'm not sure if this is the right time to be talking about pearls."
"Just wait. It has to do with this, okay?"
When he nodded, you kept speaking. "So, I'm like an oyster, and he was like a pearl farmer. There's this part of me that I call 'The Pearl,' it helps protect me, but not in the right way. Before he could take the pearl, I left, and now I'm trying to remove it, but it's hard and it hurts. It hurts so much." You hoped you were making sense. "Now, I'm with you, and I love it. I love this relationship so much, Remus. I do. And I love you, you're so gentile and you don't even want to make a pearl from me, but I've got one, and it hurts, and I don't know how long it'll take to remove it—I don't know if I can remove it."
Remus was starting to understand. "So, The Pearl, it makes you—" He was very careful with his words, "It created chaos?"
"Mhm"
"As a ... defense mechanism?"
You nodded, "It's because I'm not used to being in such a calm relationship. It feels unnerving, so The Pearl is telling me to create the explosions 'cos that's how it's "s'posed" to be, and then you'll leave, and—" Your inhale was shaky, "And then I turn into a harvester and The Pearl is happy with that because I don't get hurt."
He was quick to respond, "You will never become a harvester, and I won't leave." He shook his head to himself, "I won't ever leave you."
You looked at him with adoration, "Even though I've got a pearl?"
"Even though you've a pearl," He confirmed. "We can work on extracting it together, okay? How's that sound?"
Your heart felt so warm and so full, "That sounds nice."
He curtly nodded and stood up, "You want a cwtch?"
"The bowl," You whispered.
He smiled softly, "I cleaned it up—while you were thinking earlier."
Remus told you his stupid joke as he held you. You felt safe as you laughed, saying: "I do have lots of skeletons in my closet, though. That okay?"
He smiled, "I love spooky shit."
It made you laugh harder.
Maybe you could finally wave your white flag of surrender.
No more war, no more pearls.
Thank you for reading, my lovelies
ଘ(੭ ˊᵕˋ)੭*༺ ♡‧₊˚
@forourmoons @sw34terw34ther @cremexcoffee @nelabelievesindragons @evergreenlover
@moonpascal sent this to me last night and i haven’t stopped thinking about it
oh my goodness, this was amazing! (i’m sobbing)
Imagine… being an Obscurus and best friends with Barty Crouch Jr.
You were eight years old when you met him.
A Muggle girl, too loud, too wild, too alive- a stark contrast to the quiet, polite boy with a sharp mind and a father that loomed over him like a shadow.
But with you? He wasn’t a Crouch. He was just Barty.
You built forts out of logs, ran barefoot through the pond, and shared a locket- two halves of a whole, a symbol of forever.
Imagine… falling sick the moment he turned eleven.
It started with headaches. Then nosebleeds. Then days where your limbs felt too heavy to move.
Barty didn’t understand. No one did.
One day, you were climbing trees and stealing sweets from the corner shop.
The next, you were shaking, feverish, slipping through his fingers.
And then- he left.
Hogwarts. Magic. A world you couldn’t follow him into.
He promised to write every day.
He did.
But no letter could stop the way your bones ached or the way the shadows in your room whispered.
Imagine… Barty researching Obscurials.
He was fourteen when he figured it out.
When he read about children who grew sick and died because they suppressed their magic.
Except- you weren’t suppressing it.
You never had magic to begin with.
But somehow, it was still killing you.
Imagine… Barty growing more desperate.
He tore through the Hogwarts library like a man possessed.
Potions. Enchantments.
He tried everything. He talked to anyone- everyone. He promised anything for answers. Anything for help.
Ancient texts. Dark rituals. Forbidden spells.
Once- he even tried to give you his own magic. Like a childish fever dream, something to awaken yours. Take yours. Fix yours.
It failed. Of course it did.
But that didn’t stop him from trying again. And again. And again.
Because Barty Crouch Jr. was a lot of things.
A prodigy. A disappointment. A son with too many expectations.
But to you- he was just a boy who couldn’t stand to lose his best friend.
Imagine… your final conversation with him.
You were eighteen, frail and pale, sitting in your childhood bed as Barty paced beside you. He had spent every year of his life loosing himself to try and regain you.
And it was tearing you apart inside.
He told you about his latest discovery, about the ritual he was planning.
He swore he was close.
You smiled. Soft. Knowing. Because he was always close.
And then you said it. So soft. So sweet.
So scratchy.. so quiet..
“Barty, it’s okay.”
And it broke him.
He fell to his knees beside your bed, clutching your frail hands, begging you not to go.
Because who was he without you? What identity did he have if you weren't there? What was all the Outstandings for? The letters? The years he spent learning every nook and cranny of magic- if he couldn't stop it?
Not yet. Not when he still had so much to fix.
“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t watch you die.”
And so, you gave him one final gift. Because he had give you so much.
Too much.
“Then don’t,” you whispered. “Close your eyes.”
He did.
“Picture me."
And he did. And when his face twisted in anguish, you tutted. Running your small- much too small hands, through his black locks. “Not like that. Like me.”
And there she was. The vibrant ten-year-old who once dragged him through the streets, laughing like she had all the time in the world. Tugging him into alley ways and sneaking away from his parents.
“Write to me,” you said, voice barely a breath. “Write to that girl. That way… it will be like I never left.”
So he let go of your hand.
And he left.
He left you alone in that bed.
He walked away, fists clenched, locket pressed to his palm.
He didn’t look back. He forced himself through the meadow in your back yard, the bond you used to run in when you were younger, the swings that rocked.
And then- the explosion.
The shockwave knocked him to the ground.
The sky split open behind him.
And as he lay there, gasping, the locket in his hand felt heavier than ever.
You were gone.
Imagine… Barty writing letters to you all the time. From his years in the war, tales of Voldemort and his friends.
Even in Azkaban he made use of the walls and his nails.
Then under his imperious curse it was like a safe haven in his mind.
At first, they were daily.
Then weekly.
Then only when he could remember your face.
One day, he woke up and couldn’t remember if your eyes were green or blue. Brown or black. Purple or red.
Then your hair.
Your smile.
Your laugh.
And then, finally- your name.
He tried to write to you that night.
But the ink wouldn’t flow, because his hands hesitated.
Because for the first time in his life-
He didn’t know who he was writing to.
And that- not Azkaban, not the Dementors, not even the war-
That was the moment Barty Crouch Jr. truly died.
And the cruelest thing; in this form of death; he still wouldn't see you. Not yet.
marauders boys p links!!
marauders version of this!!
as stated previously, don’t open in public, and be aware- you’re responsible for your own media consumption with the knowledge that these are all twitter links!!
handcuffs + doggy w sirius <3
mornings w siri <3
study sesh w siri <3
road trip w jamie <3
overstim w siri <3
being needy + empty dorm w rem <3
pre full moons w rem <3
fingering w jamie <3
wishing jamie good luck before quidditch <3
party bathroom w siri <3
empty dorm w siri <3
skin to skin w jamie <3
face sitting w rem <3
post quidditch win w jamie <3
rem pre full moon <3
empty common room w jamie <3
rem has u from behind <3
James is the type of boyfriend who always calls Regulus with pet names. It's just. There are so many of them. Darling, honey, baby, sunshine, love, dear. Not enouhg, because James always manages to call him with a bunch of other unthinkable names.
They're cute, but Regulus will not tell. He prefers to complain about it. It can get embarrassing. Sirius doesn't have to witness how his best friend directs himself towards his little brother with a 'honey bear' between sentences. Regulus stopped being a baby at least more than twenty years ago.
Then something unusual happens. James calls him by his name. Regulus. He pouts instantly. Did he do something wrong? Is this James' way of telling they're breaking up? He almost starts crying, until his boyfriend gives him a little peck, asking concerned what's bothering the literal light of his life.
James is delighted when Regulus calls him baby back.
the moon and the stars 🌌
(reblogs would be great *winks*)
the noble and most cunty house of slutty waists
i was literally ist thinking about this honestly
crying about the marauders while listening to i love you, im sorry by gracie abrams on repeat is such a vibe
Staring at the lake, which lies beneath my feet, considering joining the Regulus Black Swim Team
Pairings: Poly!Marauders x bubbly!fem!reader
Words: 3.4k
Summary: A misunderstanding leads to wrongful punishment.
Warnings: slight NSFW (16+) but no actual sex, fluff, spanking, crying, kissing, Lily being the smartest person, bubbly reader, no specific holiday mentioned. As always lmk if I missed anything.
A happy hum echoed off of the walls of the corridor, happy steps clicking along to match the buzz. You giddily walked through the many twists and turn in the castle, finally making it to your final destination - The Great Hall.
You spotted your three boys instantly, walking over to them, a skip in your step. Excitement was too mediocre a word to describe what you were feeling; you just loved this time of year, especially the element of surprise and how happy everyone seemed to look.
“Helloooo, my loves,” you greeted with a grin, sinking into the seat beside Remus.
The scarred boy leaned down to kiss your temple, “hi, honey.”
Sirius leaned his elbows on the table, smirking at your giddiness, “what’s got you so excited, puppy?”
“Nothing…- just happy that the snow is finally sticking.”
“No other reason?” Sirius pressed, seeing right through your terrible attempt at lying.
“Nope…- we have to make snow angels tomorrow!”
“No thanks,” Sirius replied, defeated after your change in topic.
Remus patted your thigh, looking down at his book, “I’ll watch you make snow angels, bunny.”
You pouted, annoyed that your boyfriends seemed to have a stick up their butts, “but you have to make one too!”
“- Jamie, you’ll make one with me, won’t you?” you asked with huge puppy eyes.
“Of course I will, poppet,” James smiled, leaning over the table to peck your, now grinning, lips.
“Oi! You’re getting your sweater fluff in my food,” Sirius exclaimed, pushing James back in his seat.
You stuck your tongue out at Sirius, “you’re just mad because Jamie’s not such a sourpuss.”
Remus gave your thigh a warning squeeze, not ever lifting his gaze from his book, “watch it, bunny.”
You giggled, leaning into his side, “sorry, Remmy, but Siri is just a little Grinch.”
He took a moment to ponder, looking over at Sirius, “I see the resemblance,” he finally said as he breathed out a laugh. Sirius huffed, and his lips bore a displeased frown.
“This is bullying… that’s what it is.”
“What’s a Grinch?” James whispered to Sirius, but he just shook his head.
“I don’t know, but if it’s coming from those two, it’s probably not a good thing!”
You just snickered, burying your face in Remus’ bicep, feeling the vibrations from his body as a result of his own laugh.
“Fine, laugh all you want,” Sirius threw his hands up, whispering to himself ‘won’t be laughing when your hair is green for a week’.
James just looked between all three of you, confused, but shrugged his shoulders.
“Do you want to go to Hogsmeade after breakfast, darling?” he asked, looking at you expectantly.
You froze slightly in place, trying to think up a quick lie, “no, I have… homework… lots of homework, so I can’t.”
“-are all of you going?” you asked slowly, hoping they wouldn’t.
“We were really only planning on going because you usually love it, but if you’re not, we’re just gonna stay here,” James answered, taking a bite of his toast.
“I can help you study, bunny,” Remus said with a smile, kissing your forehead.
You shook your head, trying your best to seem casual, “that’s okay; I have a study date with Lily and Marlene.”
“But you’re coming to our dorm after, right?” Sirius interjected.
You smirked slightly, “I thought you were mad at me, Grinch.”
Sirius rolled his eyes, crossing his arms over his chest, “just because you’re being annoying doesn’t mean I don’t want cuddle time…- come by the dorm after.”
You laughed, nodding your head with a grin, “love you, Grinch.”
.
A study date was the perfect cover for you to go to Hogsmeade alone. The three boys made it impossible for you to get gifts for them without them knowing exactly what you had gotten.
James would insist on carrying the bags and sneak a peek inside when you weren’t looking.
Sirius would flat out just take the bags from you and look inside, ignoring your shouts at him to leave it alone.
Remus would never leave your side, so you’d never be able to purchase anything without him looking over your shoulder and, therefore, losing the element of surprise you loved so much.
So, your last resort was lying - a teensy little white lie, so they wouldn’t know what you had bought for them.
Music blasted in your earphones, and the snow crunched under your feet as you walked the white covered path to Hogsmeade.
Waddling was perhaps a better word to describe how you were moving; your body was protected from the cold by an unnecessary amount of layers.
You kept your double gloved hands in your pockets, bouncing along the path, mouthing along to the words of the song playing.
You hummed happily as you wandered around, collecting the elements of each person's gift, making sure everything was perfect enough for your boys.
You walked for a while, in too much of a giddy hazy mood to notice the voices calling after you.
“YN!” Sirius shouted, a damp cloud forming from his warm breath in the frosty December air.
“Why’s she ignoring us?” James frowned, watching you walk away, never once acknowledging them after they called your name multiple times.
“Why’d she lie?” Remus crossed his arms over his chest, thoroughly disappointed with you.
In the meantime, you bounced blissfully unaware back to the castle, with arms full of bags of presents and cheeky snacks you’d picked up from Honeydukes.
.
After dumping your shopping bags in your own room, you happily skipped up to the boy's dormitory.
You burst through the door, “I’m ready for cuddle time, Siri…- what’s with the faces?”
You tilted your head to the side in confusion as you took in each of their expressions. James looked upset, Sirius looked angry and smug all at once… but Remus, he looked disappointed - which was the worst feeling, knowing you’d disappointed him in some way.
“Bunny, come here,” Remus said calmly, but a frosty bite accompanied his tone. He sat patiently on the edge of his bed, legs spread with an air of dominance around him.
You moved silently across the room, stopping in front of him, your brow raised quizzically at the tension that laid over the room.
“Alright, over my lap,” he sighed, his hand reaching out to tug you forward.
Now, you were really confused. Punishment was not something you’d expected, but it sure seemed like that was where it was headed.
“Wait, what?”
Remus sighed, manhandling you across his muscular thighs, “that wasn’t a suggestion.”
You could feel your heartbeat quicken in your chest; you never really did get punishments, but when you did, you’d been really bad - but now you couldn’t think of anything you’d done to upset them directly.
“But what did I do?” you whimpered, squirming across Remus’ lap.
Sirius scoffed, crossing his arms and moving over to sit with his back against the headboard, looking positively bored.
“Don’t play dumb now… didn’t peg you as stupid, pup, but I guess that’s what lying does to you.”
You whimpered at his words, shutting your eyes tight as tears were already leaving a glassy sheen on your eyes.
“‘M not stupid…- was this because of what I said this morning? I’m sorry, you know I didn’t mean it.”
“Shush, bunny,” Remus said, bunching up the fabric of your skirt and pulling down your tights enough for the smooth skin of your bum to be displayed for him.
He rubbed a scarred hand over the smooth flesh, squeezing and kneading a couple of times to warm you up.
James stood from his own bed, walking over to sit beside Remus, right by your face. He was close enough, so you leaned forward, resting your head on his thigh and waited for impact.
“If you wanted to be alone, you could’ve just said so,” James murmured, running a smooth hand over your hair, soothing you absentmindedly, but hurt still lingered in his voice.
“Wha-“ you started, but a surprised yelp cut off your words as the first smack landed on your bottom.
You gripped onto James’ trousers, whimpering as another stinging slap had you jolting forward.
By the fifteenth slap, tears streamed down your cheeks as you babbled through broken sobs.
“Didn’t even do anything,” you hiccuped, clutching onto James so tightly, you were surprised he wasn’t wincing. He rubbed slow circles on your back, using his other hand to scratch at your scalp gently.
“Hush, bunny…- almost done,” Remus murmured, bringing yet another slap down on your already bright red ass.
By this point, Sirius had moved behind Remus, standing on his knees to look over the lycanthropes shoulder, watching the subtle flesh jiggle with every hit.
Your breathing kept catching in your throat, but as much as you tried to swallow the noise, it was impossible.
You didn’t even register how many smacks landed on you before your tights were pulled completely down your legs, and your skirt was flipped down once more.
Remus pulled you up, trying to settle you on his lap, but you just scrambled off of him.
You stood in front of them on shaky legs, cowering away when James reached out for you.
“Sweetheart, it’s okay, you’re done now,” he tried softly, but you just shook your head, trying to get your sobs to stop, but they just kept coming.
“Didn’t even do anything,” you whimpered out, voice barely above a whisper, a deep pout decorating your usually happy face.
You kept mumbling to yourself, brain clouded with fog and your vision blurred from tears. The back of your hands were wet from trying to wipe away and dry the streaks of tears that leaked down the apples of your cheeks.
“Honey…” Remus tried gently, standing from the mattress, to pull you to him, but you only backed away, leaving a small crack in the scarred boys heart.
“Mean,” was the last thing you muttered before swiftly leaving the room and leaving behind three very confused Marauders.
“What just happened?” Sirius sat back crossed-legged on the bed, brows furrowed in confusion
Remus couldn’t find the words; he only stared at the door, scratching mindlessly at his arm.
“Shouldn’t we go after her?” James asked tentatively, looking between Sirius and Remus expectantly.
None of them knew what to do; this was completely new. You’d never reacted that way before; you were always well aware when you deserved punishment, even if you weren’t the type to typically act up.
Remus sat defeated back on his bed, releasing a sigh; he never wanted to actually hurt you - just a little discipline, nothing you hadn’t agreed on - but now he just felt horrible; felt like you finally saw him as the mean monster he saw himself as - and that would surely kill him. He fiddled with his fingers; his focus lost as he drowned in his own thoughts, confusion and uncertainty running through his mind.
“Hey, Moony, none of that…- come on,” Sirius whispered, crawling up to Remus, manoeuvring himself onto his lap to straddle him, forcing him to stop fiddling and look up.
James came over as well, leaning his head on Remus’ shoulder and snuggled close to him.
“We’ll talk with her tomorrow…- she’ll come around,” James spoke softly, grasping Remus’ hand in his, playing with his long pale fingers.
The lycanthrope could only nod, closing his eyes briefly, trying to ground himself with the help of the two boys keeping him warm.
.
A solemn chill ran through the castle as the three Marauders sat and ate their breakfast glumly. They all kept a close eye on the entrance, waiting for a certain bubbly happy girl to enter, but she never did; instead entered a sad and tired looking you, walking with slow steps as you scanned the table, strategically choosing a seat at the end of the table, away from them, as you spotted the three boys.
They all frowned, a stabbing feeling touching right at their hearts and guts. Remus visibly cringed, watching you very obviously wince as you sat down, a plethora of bruises and marks decorating your bottom, no doubt.
They watched as you spoke animatedly with Lily and Alice, the smile on your face never fully reaching your eyes. You laughed, as you always did, but it sounded fake and forced… Lily noticed, and she shot the boys a look before leaning in to speak quietly to you.
They watched as you stood with Lily, leaving the hall with your head hung. All three of them wanted to follow, but the raise of Lily’s hand halted their movements; she shot them another look, one that said “wait, not now,” and they begrudgingly complied, sinking back into their seats as you disappeared out of sight.
.
The courtyard was covered in white. Sirius kicked at the soft snow, muttering to himself while pacing. James and Remus sat close on a stone bench, watching the small flurries float around. Remus couldn’t keep away the thoughts of what it would be like if you were there with them; you wouldn’t be bothered by the frosty air, you’d blow out and laugh at the steam cloud, or you’d force them all to build a snowman. Last year you had built three snowmen, one to look like each of your boys. Remus smiled at the memory, letting his head fill with dramatic sombre thoughts, always expecting the worst because overthinking lived forever in him.
James grasped Remus’ hand gently, squeezing it and smiled a gentle smile, leaning his head on the Lycanthropes shoulder.
An exasperated sigh gained their attention, watching as Lily trudged her way through the snow.
“Do you remember when we talked about the importance of communication in relationships?” she asked, her face neutral.
All of them nodded, looking a little lost.
“-well, I’d advise you to start maybe using what I taught you,” she crossed her arms over her chest, looking tired and a little annoyed.
“We communicate…” Sirius muttered, kicking idly at the snow, shoving his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket.
Lily sighed again, “did you communicate before punishing YN? Did you listen to what she had to say? Did you give her a chance to explain?”
Remus looked down guiltily, feeling deflated and stupid.
“She lied to us,” James mumbled, squeezing Remus’ hand.
“Come on! Think about it…- what time of year is it? Why do you think she’d want to go to Hogsmeade alone and not tell you about it?” Lily threw her hands up in frustration.
She did feel a little triumphant when the same look of realisation passed over each boy. Remus felt like he was going to throw up - damn Lily for always being right.
“Where is she?” Sirius asked hurriedly, already ready to take off to find you.
“I told her to go to your dorm room,” she smiled, watching all three of them race away with quick steps. James almost slipped on an ice patch, but Sirius’ hand in his saved him from tumbling to the ground.
.
You looked down at the white-covered grounds, feeling warmth in your chest, wanting nothing more than to roll around in the cold snow, just to get a good cuddle and perhaps a hot cocoa when you got back inside.
The door to the dorm opened, and in stumbled three red-cheeked Marauders. They breathed heavily, scanning the room until their eyes landed on your figure curled up in James’ quidditch jumper on the windowsill.
A moment went by where you all just stared, waiting for someone to start - normally Remus would, but at this moment, nothing but guilt and hatred for himself clouded his mind.
Even in your hurt mindset, you still considered yourself an expert on the three boys, therefore instantly recognising the far-out look Remus had as he stared back at you. Standing from the windowsill, you padded your way to them, giving no warning as you jumped into Remus’ arms, wrapping your limbs around him and burying yourself in his warmth. The melted snow on his coat chilled and wetted your skin, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care.
“Remmy,” you whispered, feeling safe and secure as his arms tightened around you.
“-get out of your head.”
Remus shook his head, tightening his hold on you, “we’re so sorry…- we should’ve listened.”
You untangled yourself from him, feeling the cold floor under your feet as he set you down, looking in your eyes, sorrow swimming in the honey pools.
“Yeah, you should…- but I’m okay now, look,” you did a little dance, a small smile lighting up your face, the smile contagiously spreading onto all of their faces.
“Gods, what did we do to deserve you?” Sirius murmured with a grin, gripping your wrist and tugging you into his embrace.
You sighed, burying your face in his chest and breathing in his scent - the faintest smell of cigarettes lingering on his shirt.
“Kiss?” James asked, or more accurately whined.
You giggled and turned in Sirius’ arms, keeping them securely around your middle as you reached out for James. He happily came over, placing a long kiss on your smiling lips, cupping your face and softly caressing your cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
“Love you, sweet pea,” he murmured into the kiss.
“Honey, can I rub some ointment on you?” Remus asked softly, grabbing your hand to pull you out of Sirius’ grip.
You nodded, letting him pull you into his arms as James scurried to the bathroom to grab the cream.
You inhaled deeply, shutting your eyes as you felt Remus’ soft hands bunch up the fabric of James’ jumper.
You jumped, body jolting, as you felt a pair of warm lips leaving a small kiss on your backside. You turned your head, seeing Sirius kneeled behind you, wearing a tiny mischievous smile.
“Sorry, baby pup, looked too good,” he smirked.
You turned your head back into Remus’ chest just as James returned with the cream, opening it and allowing Remus to scoop out a dollop.
He warmed it in his hands before gently smoothing it over your bum. You winced and a slight hiss fell from your lips as he went over the bruises that now decorated your skin.
“There we go, bunny…- good girl,” Remus cooed, rubbing slowly, being mindful of the soreness.
You breathed slowly, biting your lip to keep in your noises.
With a last small pat, he smoothed down the fabric and pulled your face from his chest with a gentle hand, leaning down to brush his lips over yours.
“I’m so sorry, honey,” he breathed.
“I forgive you…- buuuut there is one thing you can do to make it better.”
“Anything, baby,” James butted in, rubbing a slow hand up your back.
“You all have to make snow angels with me,” you grinned, turning your head to look at Sirius, “all of you.”
Sirius rolled his eyes but couldn’t keep away the smile that grew on his face, “anything for you, puppy.”
.
You giggled happily as you watched Sirius roll around in the snow, smothering James with snowballs.
Remus’ hand was tucked safely into yours, a large smile on his face.
“Your turn, Remmy,” you smiled cheekily, letting go of his hand.
You turned, falling into the snow with a soft ‘thump’, giggling, moving your arms and legs to create the angel.
Remus shook his head with a fond smile, turning to fall with you.
He moved his arms and legs slowly, matching your movements.
“I love you, bunny,” he spoke softly with a gentle smile.
“I love y… -hmph,” your sentence was interrupted as an overly excited James jumped you, laying his body directly on yours.
“Hiya, sweet pea,” he grinned.
“Jamie… can’t… breathe,” you laughed, pushing at his shoulders.
He laughed, supporting himself on either side of you, taking the pressure off of you, “sorry, sorry.”
“You ruined my snow angel,” you pouted, with no actual seriousness behind your words.
“You’re the only snow angel we need,” Sirius smirked, dropping to his knees beside you.
You rolled your eyes with a smile, “sap.”
“No longer a Grinch, huh?”
James smiled, smoothing a hand over your reddened cheek, “will you tell me what a Grinch is now?”
A/n: to be notified of future work follow @saintlike78slibrary and turn on notifications
warnings: p*rn. obviously. peter is included sorry. twitter. kinda use ur imagination in some of them? they don’t really look like the character but when i watched the vids i just thought who fit which character most yk
i hate having stuff if my drafts, so i’m going to post this and edit it when i come across videos i like. i will also make a post for the lighting era as well!
if any of these do not work please let me know so i can fix/remove it!
<3 = favs
fingering sub!james for the first time
car sex with james
fully clothed james
riding james<3
you fucking remus outside
professor remus
riding remus’s face<3
remus has a thick cock
sensual sex with remus
giving sirius a handy
sirius eating you out
sirius fingering you
sensual sex with sirius (this one could also be put as james but i said sirius bc of the tattoos)
peter eating you out
thigh fucking with peter
size kink with peter
lily and u making out
lily touching herself
lily riding (male) you
making lily cum w/ just ur fingers
sexy stuff with mary
mary fucking you w/ a strap
third base with marlene
fucking marlene with a strap
scissor w/ dorcas