*screams Into Void* We Can’t Have ONE NICE THING IN THIS HOUSEHOLD

Ryan’s caption under the ghost files announcement says “trainings over” like damn he really just ground bfu into the dirt with his heel huh

Alastair is yammering away like he has been all night in Dean’s head but joke’s on fucking him, words don’t make any sense right now. He was singing the birthday song for a while but it’s just sound now. Dean is the type of drunk where you start losin track of the meaning of words. People say shit to you and they sound like a cartoon playing backwards. Colors are upside down. The floor is moving. He always panics when he gets here. He’s got blacking out on purpose down to a science, but sometimes he takes one shot too much. A step too far. It’s a balance, yeah? You wanna be senseless but not spinning. He’s sitting on the floor in his motel room, back against the wall and both hands pressed to the gross carpet. Maybe his body can explain to his brain that he’s sitting still.

Suddenly, with a slap of blinding electricity, he’s sober. Cas is standing in front of him and Dean is too disoriented to stand up or do anything but sit there like a dumbass.

“Hello, Dean.”

“Jesus fucking Christ. What’re you doin here?”

“You were praying to me.”

“No, I was fucking not.”

“I heard my name once. After that, it was just wordless panic.”

“Oh. Just drank too much. Thanks, I guess.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Wait. Don’t zap away. Sit down.”

Cas stares at him, face unreadable, for an endless moment. Something stops Dean from saying anything. He could look at Cas’ face forever, now that he’s letting himself. He cranes his neck back, watching the weird, sharp shapes of Cas’ face get even weirder and sharper in the moonlight, get even weirder and sharper from this angle. And then Cas sits down on the floor, criss-cross-applesauce. Huh. Must be Jimmy Novak’s muscle memory. Dean can see a strip of his calves at the top of his dress socks. He has to resist the urge to reach out and touch.

“It’s my birthday.” Stupid.

“I know.”

“You’re supposed to say happy birthday.”

Cas tilts his head in that way that Dean is starting to get fond of. “Is it?”

“Yeah, that’s the thing human beings say.”

“You misunderstand me. Is it happy?”

Dean laughs. “Nah, it’s really not. Tried to drink myself to sleep but it didn’t work.”

“I can put you to sleep. I can make sure you don’t dream. My gift to you, as I believe is customary.”

“Uh, yeah. I’ll take you up on that, but first… Um. Do you wanna watch a movie or something?” He doesn’t wanna be alone. Dean feels himself blush. Fuck. “Unless you have angel shit to do.”

“I don’t have… Angel shit to do at this moment.”

Dean spends his thirtieth birthday watching Boondocks Saints with an angel in a dirty motel room. He asks Cas one question about Catholicism and triggers a monologue about the Protestant schism and how Martin Luther was “the most irritating and pedantic man that has ever walked the Earth, including Slavoj Zizek.” Dean laughs himself into a side stitch and Cas smiles back, not confused like you’d think. He was trying to make Dean laugh.

When Dean can breathe again and asks who the hell Slavoj Zizek is, Cas puts on an insane accent: “There is never a ‘right moment’ for the revolutionary act—the act is always, by definition, ‘premature.’” This sets Dean off again, and Cas laughs a little too. Dean hopes it’s his first laugh. He wants that bragging right.

Thirteen years later and one year sober, they watch it again in their living room. Jack sits on the floor working on a Hello Kitty jigsaw puzzle as he watches and Sam definitely isn’t paying attention, texting Eileen in the big armchair. Cas is falling asleep on Dean’s shoulder. Half asleep, he pulls out the Zizek impression again: “The paradox of love is that it is a free choice, but a choice which never arrives in the present—it is always already made.”

sir please x

the last 72 hours on tumblr have been pure CHAOS. jensen reading misha’s poetry by the fire looking all absorbed and moved with his fingers seductively in his mouth?? jensen’s own wife tagging his name on misha’s heart??? misha losing the plot over said post and reposting it repeatedly on every possible social media platform?? jensen posting about his new cowboy movie and misha confusing wishing someone congratulations with blatant flirting??? jensen commenting on the photo of him reading misha’s book in the most romantic setting possible and being all supportive and talking about setting up a goddamn book club for it??????? sweet lord there is only so much we can take

repeat after me: i am a sexy bitch and no one ruins my 2014

Episode 5 spoilers!

Back in my thoughts again, you know the drill. A bit lengthy!!

I cannot stop thinking about this scene—how Steven clearly remembers that this was his room,

And how he remembers the exact thing he said during this part of the scene, which proves that he was, in fact, fronting for at least a couple seconds.

BUT. He doesn’t remember anything from this moment forward. That’s why he wanted to see what their mother did to them, and that’s why Marc was set on getting him out of the room before he saw something that would severely taint his memories and what he knew of their childhood.

I’m positive that Marc fronted at that moment because he didn’t want Steven to remember what truly happened. It’s his way of making up to Randall/RoRo, I would like to believe. He treats Steven like the younger brother that he lost when he was a child. The one who loved drawing the one finned fish. The one who was always eager for adventure. The one who was screaming for help back in the cave.

Remember? His mother explicitly stated:

“Marc, what do you do? Keep an eye on your brother, okay?” And Marc is set on fulfilling that promise to Steven.

Marc let Steven keep all the good memories, while he himself lived through all of the bad ones, just so that he could protect him from getting hurt and feeling pain. Steven, his alter, who he considers to be his little brother.

That’s the reason why Marc was so adamant about simply telling Steven what had happened in that room at the top of the flight of stairs, so Steven wouldn’t have to watch the memory play out in front of him. Seeing what happened would definitely hurt more than just knowing what happened. By telling Steven himself, he would have control over what he would reveal to him, and how he would tell him.

That’s why Marc’s first thought when waking up in the Asylum was Steven. That’s why Marc never complained about fronting right after Steven was pierced by the weapons back in Mogart’s. That’s why Marc probably set up a line for Steven to contact “his mother”, and why Marc replaced Gus with another fish. That’s why Marc didn’t want Steven finding out about him in the first place.

Marc spent most of his life protecting and saving Steven the way he wished he could’ve protected and saved Randall. I am literally bawling over this.

Also ending this with another appreciation for Oscar Isaac because he’s a damn legend for the breathtaking portrayal of Steven AND Marc. He better earn awards for this series or I will riot.

added a few points 

happy sukka covered in blood to all who celebrate