I Suffer From Stargazing...

" with love, sir, i wish to serve myself some bread before I serve you a course, for I've starved my own hunger, and now I crave anything alive. "

" apologies, for I have been, scared, but aggressively, aggressively scared sir "

" I've washed dirt, and scrubed your basins white, sir, but I must say, your wine stained shirt remains. It commands me to honor it's poetic wrath with reality "

And how she thanked the world, for it's awaited doom, in casual conversations about flowers,

she'd smile at autumn, for death wasn't new to her, but the after...

" Poetic Betrayals " - Astha kesri

11.05.2022

I keep forgetting myself

"Lover's rage" by Astha Kesri

Walls,

I wish I could walk through them...

I have dreams,

big enough,

to be buried within...

Vulnerable yet dominant

I wish to fill myself with answers to questions I've never asked, for my mind is a hesitant colossal of chaos and mysteries , and it demands , but wouldn't dare , to know , more...

How could I be yours, when 'am not even mine?

"I slept, and slept, with my brain alive"

"I mistook a broken mirror for anonymity, and pared a hundred "me" within"

- Astha, "my two week old butterfly days" *a random collection of my 2am monologues*

00:18

3Am Thoughts

" if I start writing down everything that goes inside my brain....there you go xD "

I live with the fear of having to ask myself if I gave up too soon , and somehow that's all that keeps me going...

Maybe there's more to me than what they wanted , and I must've kept some secrets only to grow through all these wounds of mine...

I wonder if missing you was a mistake

What have I been staying up late for ? Why couldn't I sleep ? Maybe I should want myself more , maybe longing for you is killing me ...

I have monsters swirling through storms inside me , but I might as well look fine ...

- "Inventing Love" by Astha Kesri

(inspired by the idea of food as a love language; portrayed beautifully in most K dramas; intrigued by these very episodes of metaphoric depiction, my own analysis of certain soft human emotions conveyed through food…)

@metamorphesque @kill-your-darlin