Madibun-blog - My Dear ღ

Am I the only one who doesn’t improve because they refuse to try.

I always say “I don’t like deep breathing”. “It doesn’t work” I say. But I don’t even try.

“I don’t like meditating” I say, “it doesn’t work” i say. But I don’t even try.

“I can’t journal” I say, “it doesn’t help” I say. but I don’t even try.

Why? Because it can’t be that simple. If it’s that simple than I’m not as traumatized, or as damaged, or as far gone as I thought I was, and it almost feels like all of this was for nothing. I feel like I don’t have it bad enough and therefore I don’t deserve help, nor do I want it because of that.

It almost feels as if when I heal, all this suffering was for nothing, all this time struggling to get better was for nothing, all those panic attacks and dangerous driving and self harm, when it was always just…that simple.

So I don’t even try. Because if it works, it’s been too simple all along and I have suffered at my own expense for nothing.

🫀I love him🫀

telling yourself that they’re not ignoring you and they’re just really busy but coming to find out that they were in fact just ignoring you 🙃

I just wanna be loved unconditionally so bad

i dont care (this affected me deeply and made me cry for several hours)

Im brutally in love with you.

I didn’t have a lot of time to do this and i don’t like it but! Here it is

❱❱﹐💢﹒i’m unwell !!﹐ıllı﹒⬚ꜛ