I have this idea for a post but I feel like you would do it justice.
Basically, Danny is yeeted through a dimensional portal and reincarnated as the clone son of Tim and Connor(from when Tim cloned Connor during his death). This little shit wakes up after that, when Connor has already been found, as a six year old gremlin with a need for chaos.
Que pranks!
I don’t have much more than that so I will leave this in your capable hands.
-🎃
"Master Bruce, if I have to remind you to fix your tie one more time, Gotham will be without its protecter for many months to come!" Alfred snapped - actually snapped - from where he was attempting to reorganize the entirey of the Emberald Sitting room.
Right now, he moved all the furniture and all the wall directions. He was just adding some tastefully done flower pots to make the place look inviting but also regal.
It had been six hours, and from the looks of it, Alfred had not found the balance he desperately wanted. He started over four times. His patience was all but gone.
Bruce's hands snap to his tie, scrambling to get it set just right. He moves it only slightly to the left - not making much difference - with a nervous smile. Alfred's teeth snap shut with a click, and his eyes blaze with frustrated rage as he rounds the coffee table toward the billionaire.
Bruce looks to be holding back a scream.
Dick winces, sinking into his chair lest the aged Butler turns his ire onto him. He knows why this evening has to be just right. Especially to Alfred, but gosh, he could not handle how terrifying the butler could be.
It's just for one dinner and one evening. Dick tells himself. Once Alfred can finally say he married one of us off, things will return to normal.
"Honestly! If you didn't walk around looking like an unkeept vagabond all the time, maybe there would be a Lady of the House by now!" Alfred sneered at a pale-looking Bruce.
Or maybe Timmy bringing Kon over to announce their engagement means Alfred will try to marry the rest of us off harder. Dick despairs as Bruce endures another tongue-lashing. He wants to go help, but if he moves even an inch from his seat, Alfred might realize Dick is still in the room.
He can't afford to anger the beast any further.
"And you, Master Dick!" Alfred suddenly rounds on Dick, pointing one long finger into his face, with narrowed eyes and the grim reaper at his shoulder. Oh, dear.
Thankfully, that's when the doorbell rings. At once, Alfred's face clears into an excited smile. "They're here! I'll let them in right away; you lads, gather the rest of the family. And remember, we must make a great impression! Tonight is the night we invite Mister Kon into the family!"
The butler doesn't quite skip out of the room, but the bristle walking with a chipper head turning is the close that Dick has ever seen him do.
"I'm so happy for Tim." Bruce mutters,"but I can not handle any more reminders that I haven't had a spouse."
"Tell me about it," Dick sighs, following after his father into the hallway and down to the dining hall. He can distantly hear Alfred opening the door and greeting the two. "A hour ago, he made seven passive agressive reminders that Tamaraneans propse with a dinner and a mock battle. Seven. I mean, how does he even know what Tamaraneans do when courting?"
"It's Alfred." Bruce tells him, taking a seat at the head of the table. Dick sits in the chair to his right as the oldest and First Heir- considering the reply. It makes sense.
Damian, Cass, and Duke walk in, not even a moment later. All are dressed better than any gala Bruce could have dragged them off, too. He is rather impressed that Damian is a red suit that makes even Bruce pale in comparison. Then again, he is the only one besides Alfred who has an eye for such things.
"Has he already proposed, or is he doing it at dinner table and were all supposed to act supirse?" Duke asks while sitting down. "I want to know what kind of face I should have prepared"
"The clone has asked Father for his blessing in his courtship with Timothy. He knew we would have figured out his plans when that blunder. It is no surprise." Damian huffs. Dick knows he's just upset that his big brother is going to get married and move out soon. He's adorable when he's territorial.
"I can confirm that Kon hasn't asked yet." Steph announces, strutting into the room in all her purple gown glory. Behind her, the Row sbilings wander in with matching celtic blue suits, making Dick grin. It's always nice to see people appreciate the best color. "Tim isn't the type of person to not show off his ring whenever he has a chance."
"I've always wanted to see a real-life popersoal!" Jarro gasps, flying into the room with his own little suit on. It's a nice black with green undertones just like Bruce's.
He lands in the miniature chair with a dinner dining set Alfred had special ordered for him.
It sits on top of where a regular dining set usually is, always the second chair on Bruce's left, because he is literally the favorite. Bruce denies it, but they all see the tender smile he throws the floating star.
The Wayne kids know. Jarro is too precious and hilarious, so none of them mind that he's the favorite. In fact, Dick has half the mind that he's the favorite of the majority of the family.
Jason leans over to pat Jarro's head, grinning when the little starfish swears. He adores when the kid randomly curses out of Aldred's hearing range.
"Shh, they're coming!" Cullen says from where he was lingering by the door, hoping to see Tim and Kon. He always looked up to the older boys as someone who had been forced into the closet for his own protection.
Seeing people like him helped ease the fear, and Dick feels his smile wideing when Cullen scrambles back to his seat. He's so excited he's practically in the Speed Force.
Alfred opens the door first, stepping to the side to allow the guest to enter first. Dick feels himself sit up straighter, the moment really setting in, Kon is going to propose to his younger brother.
His little Timmy is growing up-
"Wow, this place is big!" A child says, running into the room. Who the heck is he? "It's amazing, Dad!"
"Slow down. You don't want to fall." Tim laughs, rubbing the stranger's hair with a soft smile.
"It's okay, Dad. I'm strong!" The boy flexes his tiny arms. Tim laughs again as Kon crouches down to the little boy's height.
"Woah! Look at all those musceles. You're going to help me protect your dad, son?"
"Yeah Pa, I'll be the strongest super or robin ever!"
"Tim? Who might this lovely chum be?" Bruce cuts in, voice slightly strained. No one calls him out on it since they are staring wide eye at the tiny little boy who looks like an exact copy of Tim at age five.
Dick knows because he was one of the few in the Wayne's who saw Tim at that age. He's practically a clone to oh no.
Dick thinks he's having a heart attack.
Tim looks up at them before a brillient glowing smile breaks across his face. "Everyone, Kon and I have an announcement to make!"
Kon wraps an arm around his waist, sending adoring looks to man in his arms before they both hold up their left hand.
There are twin silver bands on both of their fingers. "We got married in Las Vegas, and we have a son! I like you all to meet Danny Drake-Kent! I made him when I thought Kon was dead."
"I am Danny, clone of Kon-el and Tim Drake. Fear me if you dare!" His voice squeaks. Squeaks.
Scratch that, Dick knows he's having a heart attack.
You can hear a pin drop in the silence his announcement cause, as Danny puffs up his chest and floats a few inches off the grown.
Oh, great heavens, Dick is an uncle.
"A fellow clone, son!" Jarro cheers from his little table. He slams two of his star points on the table to a beat that he speaks to. "One of us. One of us."
Danny's blue eyes land on the star fish and widen. He raises both arms into the air chanting back. "One of us. One of us. One of us!"
"It's awesome is what it is!" Steph cries, jumping up from her seat. "Hi, Danny! I'm you, Auntie Steph! I'm the cool one."
"Isn't this lovely? Master Tim not only has a husband but a child as well. Unlike some Masters." Aldred doesn't quite glare at Bruce, but he doesn't have to. The Waynes know who he means as Bruce wince.
Danny pauses in his chanting to look her up and down, staring pointily at her plum colored dress before humming. "That's a bold statement for an eggplant."
Steph gapes at him as Tim roars with laughter.
Oh, Dick is going to love this kid. He leaves his seat, trying to get to his nephew as the rest of the family attempts to do the same. Damain makes alarming threats to Kon, letting him know he would easily take him out if he detects a hint of mistreatment to his brother and new nephew.
The Waynes act like they can't hear the threat because they all have their own versions of the shovel talk prepared. They just have to get the clone alone.
It's a nice dinner.
maribat ideas that don’t involve maribat:
Alya getting an internship in the Daily Planet because of her work reporting the whole series
Luka keeps on figuring people’s identities out and it becomes such a problem for the Bats
Alix pops around the timeline befriending people and driving Booster Gold mad
Nino gets a Green Lantern ring and everyone is annoyed that he’s so naturally talented except no he already had training so now suspicion is cast upon him
Juleka and Rose go to a gala at Gotham via the ‘Jagged is from Gotham’ trope and meet Tim & Bernard and they both think Rose is insane
Colt Fathom is related to Thomas Wayne and Felix brings Kagami with him to the reunion gala and the Bats try to get information about Paris
Kaldur finds out Plagg has returned and immediately goes to try and appease him only to find Adrien
Nathalie knows Talia from her adventuring days and asks her if she could watch over Adrien while Nathalie handled the trial and then the Teen Titans show up
Superman’s identity is about to be exposed and Marinette shows up via Alya and creates a plan that completely derails the broadcast
The whole class is caught in a villain attack and their terrifying hypercompetence in the situation had everyone alarmed
5 times a League member heard Batman use slang + 1 time they knew where the fuck he got it from.
This fic is based off this post by @wednesday-if-it-was-tuesday bc it was just too good! Hope you don't mind :D
On AO3.
Ships: none
Warnings: none
~~~~~
1. Flash
Barry is pretty sure he has to get his hearing checked as he speeds through a city, trying to find a series of bombs, courtesy of a new alliance of villains. He and Batman are on bomb duty, thus sharing a private com line as to not distract the others or be distracted as they coordinate.
However, Barry is very much distracted by his own partner in this whole mess, because unless he’s gotten a few too many hits to the head in recent years, he’s pretty sure Batman just reported: “The bombs look like yassified thermos flasks.”
“What?” Barry chokes, nearly tripping over his own feet as he does.
Batman doesn’t seem to notice, instead explaining the bomb, not his wording: “The casing looks to be made from plastic, likely to escape Superman’s notice. Start checking water pipes, I found this one near a toilet. I’ll report again once I figure out how to disarm it.”
Okay, questing his sanity later, finding bombs, now.
So he zooms off again, having to agree with the fact that the bomb does look like a yassified thermos flask. He wonders if he can use that in his report or if Batman will scold him for language. He has worked with the man for long enough that he knows Batman isn’t above hypocrisy.
Then he wonders again if he even heard it right. In the heat of battle, the brain sometimes does weird things, especially when someone thinks at the speed of light. Or faster.
He’ll put it out of his mind for now, maybe tell Hal about it just so he’ll have someone to share the bizarre experience with.
Clark probably has a thesaurus, he should probably also find a synonym for yassified. Does a thesaurus have slang too?
2. Green Lantern
It’s true that Barry had told him about Spooky saying yassified in that one battle, but Hal hadn’t truly believed that Bats was capable of something like that. I mean, look at him. The guy might be a weirdo who dresses up as a Bat, but he’s not a weirdo who says shit like yassified.
However, at the moment it is starting to look more and more likely. Fuck, Barry is gonna give him so much crap for not believing him.
The moment in question is Batman working with him on the stealth mission. It’s one for the Green Lantern Corps, so Batman is doing him a favor. Though Hal is starting to wish that he hadn’t done him that favor, because Batman has just said: “It looks like Luthor is being thristy for Superman again. For someone who hates the guy, he sure wants his attention a lot. That’s Kryptonian honing device.”
Hal doesn’t react, still thinking about the fact that he’s just heard Luthor, thirsty and Superman in one sentence. In Batman’s voice no less.
“What?” he says.
“A Kryptonian honing device,” Batman repeats, sounding as if he thinks Hal is stupid, not uncommon. “So he can hone in on Superman, find him. Something we need to do something about.”
Hal decides to take the smart way out and lets the whole thing drop in favor of focusing on the mission. He’s not just telling Barry, but Ollie about this as well.
3. Cyborg
Being in the Justice League isn’t much different than being on the Teen Titans. Like right now, being in a building that could explode at any moment unless he hacks into the system and stops that from happening.
Ah, good old life-threatening pressure.
Batman is fighting some of the goons in the background. They’re on their own here, with the others fighting through an army outside to get to them. But it’s mostly up to them. Batman yells: “Cyborg, status.”
“I’m getting through, but something is bugging me about this whole thing,” Victor calls back. “I think there is someone I’m missing that will allow me to crack this.”
There are a few grunts in the background as Batman fights on, while Victor starts to scan through everyone who worked for the organization, trying to find the missing link.
He is interrupted by Batman, who says: “I took a tour here once. There was an intern, Kyle Paulson, he was kind of sus. Look him up.”
For a second, Victor is thrown by the sus in that sentence, but he quickly focuses back on what’s important. Indeed finding Kyle to be the missing link that gets him to disarm the bomb. While Batman is taking out the last of the bad guys.
In fact, the whole thing slips his mind until he’s writing his mission report, going through the footage to get accurate information in there. Then he pauses again, before dismissing it. Those who trained under Batman are always prepared, maybe it’s not slang but shorthand to be useful in the moment. Or he’s trying to include him, sweet, though unnecessary.
Victor puts it out of his mind.
4. Green Arrow
Ollie doesn’t believe Barry or Hal for a second. Like, really? Batman using slang that the sidekicks are using?
Sure, Nightwing sometimes uses some here and there, but Red Robin is always very professional and Robin is closer to a Shakespearean actor than a TikTok teen. There isn’t anyone else he could have gotten it from and it doesn’t make sense with his whole ‘I am the Night’-persona.
Victor suggested it was to make the newbies more comfortable when he overheard them talking, but that’s even more ridiculous in Ollie’s opinion.
So, he’s not at all in the slightest prepared for Batman’s reaction when he shows him the new arrows he developed. Because Batman’s reaction is: “Hm, serves cunt.”
“Excuse me, what?” Ollie says, his eyes nearly bulging out of his skull.
Batman just stares at him, then in a confused sort of voice goes: “You know, it slays? It’s, you know, good? Positive.”
“Huh, what? No, I- I know what that means. How the fuck do you know?” Ollie splutters.
“I’m Batman,” is all he says. Then he walks away and leaves Ollie to stand there, still frozen in time, because what the hell was that? Batman can’t just do that, can he? That’s illegal. How does he even know that?
What Ollie doesn’t know, is that this was a calculated move. Bruce had overheard the three talking as well and decided to have a little fun. All the times before, it just slipped out in the heat of battle, but this one was purposeful.
Bruce knows Ollie would know what it meant, because billionaires Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen have done TikTok trends in the past and try to keep up to date, despite their age. Not that Ollie knows it’s him under there.
And last gala, he left Bruce for the wolves – Vicky Vale – so now Bruce is dealing psychological damage to him as petty revenge.
5. Superman (and Practically the Entire League)
They’re in a meeting with most of the Justice League members that are present on earth at the moment. It’s not often they hold such meetings, since they are a little overwhelming and tend to drag on more than be productive.
However, Clark thinks it’s important to ensure there are avenues through which ever member can state their piece and be heard. So, here they are again.
Booster Gold is complaining about always being on the sidelines and never in the heat of the action, even though he’s a great hero. He’s claiming that there is a bias against younger heroes, despite the fact that the ‘old guard’ will have to give it up eventually.
Apparently, Batman has had enough, because he gets up and snaps: “We don’t have bias based on age, we have one based off skill. Maybe if you stopped abandoning your post and being someone reliable, you might get put out in the field more often. Now stop being salty about it.”
It’s silent.
Clark is scrambling his brain, to figure out the meaning. As a journalist he tries to stay up to date on current language use, however, the only person he’s heard use that word is Jon. The boy never explained, but Clark guessed what it means. Doesn’t explain why Batman knows it.
Then the silence gets broken by a snort, everyone’s head whipping towards the source. It’s Nightwing, a newer addition and one affiliated with Batman himself. The only one there brave enough to laugh at Batman, mirthfully asking: “Did you actually say salty?”
There is no change on Batman’s face, but as a longtime friend, Clark knows he isn’t emotionless. Indeed, when he listens close, he can hear the blood rush to his face, blush hidden by the cowl.
“That was not the point of the sentence, Nightwing,” Batman counters, the name a little bit pointed on is tongue.
“Okay, okay,” Nightwing grins easily, showing his hands in surrender, an act which is made null by him adding: “Just pointing out that this is an official meeting. You’re on the record and you know I’m reporting this to the others.”
Red Robin and Robin, Clark fills in mentally, the other two known associates. Everyone already guessed that Nightwing must be close to them as well, since the younger two are closer to being Batman’s children. Now that is confirmed.
“Thank you for reminding me,” Batman says tersely, before quickly pivoting to the next point on the agenda. No one calls him out for it.
However, just because no one calls him out on it, doesn’t mean they drop it. In the weeks after the incident, whispers make their way through the halls of the Watchtower as people speculate why or how Batman came to use the word salty and how out of character it is.
Clark can hear the gossip all over the Watchtower and he’s sure Batman is aware of it too, because some brave souls have asked about. Especially when some of the others talked about the incident not being the first one.
Batman hasn’t replied yet to any of the questions or rumors. Clark thinks he likes the mystery and chaos, likes that they don’t know why the hell he sometimes lets slang slip. Even Nightwing has been seemingly silenced, never commenting with a sort of professional ease at evasion.
Nightwing is the only clue they have, along with Robin and Red Robin, but none of them seem like the culprit.
It just doesn’t make sense and Clark can’t help but have his reporter brain itch.
+1. The Batfamily
There is going to be an attack somewhere in a major city in America tonight. They cannot figure out where, so there is a nation wide stake out at all the important places. Nearly the entire Justice League has been pulled out for it and even then they don’t have enough.
Batman insists on having a skeleton crew remain on the Watchtower in case the threat turns out to be a distraction. And when it is protested, he pulls out an army of associates none of them have ever heard about to fill out the last gaps in their observational net.
The sudden introduction of about six new Gotham vigilantes, which have apparently been operating inside the city as well as outside of it, would have been the main shock if it weren’t for how they are on coms.
Red Robin and Nightwing are known as professionals like Batman, while Robin isn’t a known entity in missions, though those who have met him, know him to be serious. However, with the introduction of the others all of that professionalism melts away.
It starts about 45 minuted into their mission when Spoiler’s voice suddenly crackles over the coms: “I fucking hate stake outs, they’re so boring.”
“I know right, my ass is starting to hurt,” Red Robin – to everyone’s surprise – replies.
“No chatter on the coms,” Batman dutifully reproaches like he always does, but he sounds less stern this time. It’s as if he knows they won’t listen, but says it because it’s his role to do so.
Red Hood ignores Batman completely, idly commenting: “I don’t know, stake outs always hit different for me.”
“That’s just because you’re boring AF,” Spoiler says, an eyeroll practically audible.
“Oi, take that back,” Red Hood says, offended. “I didn’t die to have you slander my name like that!”
This is horrifying news for most of the other people stuck on the coms, however, there is a cacophony of annoyed groans as well. Why anyone would be so blasé about someone mentioning their death, they don’t know.
Until, Robin says: “Cease mentioning your death as excuse. It’s unbecoming to be so reliant on one measly event. You’re not the only one who has died, don’t be – what was it? – ah, yes, don’t be basic, Hood.”
“Yeah, Hood, don’t be salty just because you’re becoming a boring old man,” Red Robin pipes up, sounding smug. That solves the salty mystery.
“Shut up, Replacement,” Red Hood huffs. “I can talk about my death as much as I want to and you can’t stop me.”
“Hood, please, stop talking about your death, you’re going to make B sad,” Nightwing suddenly interjects, stopping the conversation before it can get out of hand.
Those with super hearing will hear Barry mutter in a shocked manner: “Is he talking about Batman?” But he is overshadowed by most of the newly introduced (and already) known Bat-associates booing loudly.
“Don’t be a fucking suck up, Dick” Spoiler hollers, only those in the know picking up on the fact it’s his name. It’s the only time Batman won’t correct them, because not everyone will know it’s a name unless it’s pointed out.
“Periodt,” the quiet voice of Black Bat supports Spoiler.
“Hell yeah, that’s what I’m talking about, BB,” Spoiler cheers when she hears the other girl.
“That was the correct usage?” Black Bat asks.
“It was, well done,” Oracle’s kind voice comes over the coms, from where she is in her lair helping with coordination.
After that it all quiets down again for about half an hour, then Bluebird breaks the quiet again, complaining: “I can’t believe I had to stay behind in Gotham of all places.”
“You live there. Willingly,” Signal answers. “And I had to stay behind too, you know.”
“They’re sleeping on us, Signal, be upset with me,” Bluebird exclaims, indignantly.
“Okay, but tea though,” Spoiler says, most of the Justice League listening in are starting to learn she likes stirring the pot a little.
“Don’t be a simp, Spoils,” Red Robin says.
“Oh, look who’s talking about being a simp,” Red Hood snorts loudly. “I observed you, loser boy, you’re the simp.”
“It’s not as much of the serve you think it is to admit to stalking me,” Red Robin deadpans.
“RR, not to be that bitch, but you’re the OG stalker, maybe- maybe don’t do that,” Nightwing says cautiously, which is apparently funny enough that multiple people start laughing.
Meanwhile Red Robin complains: “Stop laughing at me, when I did it was totally different, I didn’t plan on killing any of you.” Which is mildly disturbing
“Oi, I never planned to actually kill you-kill you either,” Red Hood protests, even more disturbing. The Justice League is starting to wonder why Batman works with the man.
“Stop with the chatter,” Batman interjects again, before it can go further. “It’s not just us on the com lines now. At least try to be professional.”
And much to the horror of the League, who could never imagine doing such a thing, Batman gets booed. Again. This time directly.
Then to add to the horror, Batman doesn’t explode in anger, like everyone would have imagined, instead he just sighs. Defeated. Batman is like a cockroach, he doesn’t get defeated. However, these kids are managing.
Batman remains defeated too, because the Gotham vigilantes continue to idly chat all throughout the next hour. They are definitely bat associated, because they never reveal any information that could be tied to their civilian identity. Instead discussing other missions, general news, funny things they saw on patrol and personal grievances with the others on the line.
If this is what Batman deals with on the day to day, some are starting to see why he would prefer the heroes of the Justice League to keep their mouths shut on missions unless it’s important.
Most try to tune it out and focus on their own stake out, though the voices keep them awake. But they notice when Spoiler’s voice suddenly becomes serious as she reports: “Sus individuals moving towards the Mayor’s office.”
“Received, getting visual on your location,” Oracle’s voice replies, also snapped back into professionalism.
Spoiler reports their appearances and currently location, until Oracle has them, running a check on them, before confirming they have a criminal record and might be thugs for hire. Spoiler says: “I am going to move in.”
Batman says: “Do not engage, Spoiler, they could be a decoy. Try and get more information first.”
“Alright, alright,” Spoiler huffs. Then adds petulantly: “I’m not gonna do it, I was just thinking about it.”
Which sounds pretty reasonable for most listening in, who aren’t of the right age group to know the meme. Batman, however, does know, because he’s been subjected to it multiple times. So, he yells: “Spoiler, no!” startling some members.
A second later, there are sounds of a fight and Spoiler gleefully saying: “I did it.”
Batman lets out a frustrated growl, but Spoiler pays it no mind and she can’t truly get chewed out, because more and more start to report suspicious individuals moving in on the targets they’re watching.
Within minutes of it starting, Nightwing reports: “They’re decoys with targets. Not the main attack, but will do damage if they succeed.”
“Everyone make sure to take out the decoys,” Batman says. “Those without decoys, keep your eyes peeled, you might be at the real target.”
“Done with my targets, moving to help the others now,” Nightwing reports seriously, before he adds: “And can I just say that I’m the GOAT. Dibs on cookies for finishing first.”
“Okay, shade much,” Bluebird says.
“Don’t be arrogant, it’s unbecoming,” Robin retorts as well.
“Yeah, stop flexing,” Spoiler adds. “I’ve wrapped up too, by the way. You’re not special.”
“Let me have this,” Nightwing complains. “You already took all my shit, let me be cool. You all used to think I was cool.”
“Yeah, used to,” Red Hood scoffs. “Then we all realized you’re a looser.”
“Ha, get wrecked,” Red Robin snorts.
“Baby bird, wasn’t I your favorite?” Nightwing asks hurt, though over the top enough to show he is faking it.
“No, sadly, that was Hood,” Red Robin replies, sounding a little like he’s grimacing.
“No cap?” Red Hood asks, surprised.
“No cap,” Red Robin confirms.
“Now I feel kind of bad for you,” Red Hood says, before some bullets are fired. “Wrapped up here, moving to help.”
Red Robin seems glad to not have to reply and none of the other Gothamites do either. With what the League has heard so far, they’re also kind of happy the topic is being dropped, unsure what to think.
Batman’s associates are among the first ones cleaning up, however, soon others are joining them and the true battles grounds – yes, there are multiple targets, these people are organized (Batman will likely obsess until he has tracked down their organization afterwards) – are discovered and heroes move in to fight them.
Throughout the battle, everyone catches snippets of this strange, newly introduced group. A group, who works well together, like an oiled machine, yet obviously made up of highly competent parts that can act on their own as well.
Like Black Bat calling out: “Red Hood, yeet,” before those fighting alongside them see Red Hood boost her into the air, so she can come flying at the terrorists.
But they also make comments about the people they’re fighting and the others that are fighting alongside them.
Signal calling out: “Bluebird is pulling some sick ass moves. Another one for her on the slay-board, Oracle.”
Or Spoiler commenting: “Okay, not to be like that or whatever, but these terrorists are kind of looking snatched.”
To which Batman sighs: “Spoiler, please, no chatter,” in a vain attempt to get them under control.
“What?” Spoiler says. “I can appreciate when they’ve at least tried to pull a fit instead of that usual para-military, ninja type BS.”
“Go off,” Black Bat pipes up again and Spoiler cheers while Batman drops it. Defeated again.
They also check in on each other, with Red Robin hissing in pain, which is immediately followed by Nightwing going: “RR, you good, fam?”
“Gucci,” Red Robin replies. “Just low-key got stabbed.”
“There’s nothing low-key about getting stabbed!” Nightwing exclaims, getting called a hypocrite by many people, while Batman is already calling for Oracle to get a visual and for a medic to head Red Robin’s way.
By the time the battle is over, the Justice League understands how different the team is that Batman usually works with. If they were surrounded by heroes who talked like that continuously, they would have probably picked up some things here and there too.
Still, it fucking weird when Batman checks over his horde, before declaring: “You were all lit out there,” causing multiple of the kids around him to groan loudly, with Bluebird calling Batman a boomer.
Clark, however, sees a small uptick in Batman’s mouth. And in that moment, he knows Batman is doing it on purpose, that he’s enjoying it. That he’s fucking with them. He doesn’t know what to do with that, nor does he think that anyone will believe it. So, he decides to share the amusement and drop it.
They’re never going to figure out Batman.
~~
A/N:
This work is going to get dated so so so fast lmao, but it’s fun rn (if ur commenting in the future, welcome to outdated slang vibes from someone who wasn’t that up to date with current slang when writing it, bc im secretly a grandpa).
Hopefully I didn’t overdo it to an unrealistic degree, but if I did, such is the story that was being told oops
Also this whole fic is just an excuse for me to write batfam banter bc I love it lmao
I didn’t include Batwing, Batwoman and Flamebird here, sorry, but writing the batfam is always so hard bc there are so many characters T-T
god i love golden age clark so much. just this insane cryptid running around alternately terrifying and beating the shit out of objectively awful people. war profiteers. wifebeaters. corrupt politicians and greedy businessmen who exploit their workers. i can't emphasize enough that he barges in with NO preamble and just starts throwing people around. at one point he grabs a weapons manufacturer and straight up jumps off a building with him just to scare the guy into giving up the name of his employer. This is before they decided he could fly. batman WISHES he was this hardcore. i need him back so bad
I'm sorry, but the fact that Chat Noir's new power is so convenient that Marinette doesn't face the consequences of hiding a terrorist's identity from her own teammates because they MIGHT tell Adrien is the stupidest argument this series has ever presented
And they created the Magical Charms.
I've said a thousand times that the justification for not telling Adrien anything being "we have to protect him, he can't suffer," is horrible, and I disagree. As Alya said in the last episode, no one can decide for Adrien whether he knows or not.
Taking care of him shouldn't be an excuse to lie to him, or to anyone else.
Adrien more than anyone deserves to know who his dad was and the things he did and why. He deserves to grieve for him and hate him if he wants to. Not telling anything is keeping Adrien in a bubble, a little glass box where he's safe.
Ladybug should have told him that Gabriel was Monarch immediately after the fight ended. She doesn't know that Adrien is Chat Noir, so she doesn't know there's a risk of the world ending because Chat went crazy and used his power.
She had the Miraculous at that time, so the only risk Adrien ran by telling him the truth was crying his eyes out. PLUS, he wasn't at risk of being akumatized because Gabriel was dead and Ladybug was there.
She didn't even have to make the information public; she just had to tell Adrien.
So no, I don't believe there was no option but to not tell him anything.
And I'm a little tired of people justifying all this by saying "Marinette is only 14, she's a child."
I get it, but there's a chapter where they tell you that Ladybug is already mature enough to be considered AN ADULT and use her powers infinitely. Even though Mari is 14, she's been Ladybug for about a year, where she's seen more than one loved one die, fought terrorists, adult supervillains, and even faced Su Han and the heroes of New York as an ADULT. Why is it that when it comes to taking responsibility (and almost always around Adrien), she's "just a child"?
But back to the last episode: Giving Chat Noir the power to erase memories is stupidly convenient for the plot. Marinette is safe from facing the consequences for lying and can continue being Alya's best friend and Adrien's perfect girlfriend without any problems because then if it happens again, she'll just find Chat and ask him to erase their memories again because "they know a secret that I can't tell you what it is, but it's bad and they have to forget it."
Only Mari doesn't know that Chat is Adrien, and that's another big problem. Marinette doesn't want to know Chat's identity, so she can't trust him with things because "maybe he knows Adrien and can tell him" is stupidly convenient and only makes me think that Marinette really doesn't trust Chat enough to tell him who the villain they've been fighting since day one is.
At this point, I really can't blame Lila for hating Marinette (look what you've turned me into, writers!) Marinette is really annoying, especially when it has to do with Adrien.
Sometimes I feel like Marinette sees Adrien more as a trophy, something perfect she wants, and not the guy behind it all. But that's the fault of the writers and their annoying need to make Adrien perfect and devoid of personality throughout the seasons. Not even Chat Noir can get a power upgrade on his own; it's Ladybug who has to tell Chat what to do.
And then the episode tries to teach you that erasing Alya's memory is actually giving Marinette the freedom to choose when to tell the truth.
FREEDOM FOR MARINETTE. But never for Adrien to feel ANYTHING.
I'm going to really enjoy it when Lila decides to really attack, even if it only lasts 10 seconds until everyone forgives Marinette for lying and Adrien just says "I love you even though we've been dating for months and you lied to me and hid sensitive information about my family. It must have been really hard for you to hide that my dead dad was the man who psychologically tortured all of Paris and even me, just because he wanted to revive my dead mom who had been hiding in the basement of my house for a year. Do you want to go to the movies tomorrow?"
And I can almost bet that Chat Noir's new power will be used to get Marinette's memories back if she gives up being a guardian, in a very convoluted way typical of the show.
Like: "The akuma caused Marinette to have to give up the box and lose her memories. If we use the Chat Noir Miraculous, we can erase the consequences of the akuma and Marinette will get her memories back."
Or much worse.
Paris found out that Ladybug lied and they hate her. We're going to use the Chat Noir Miraculous to erase their memories so they won't mistreat her anymore :D yeii freedom
how to get a job,,,,,
im so unemployed and I need MONEY PLEASE. IM BEGGING GOD PLEASE.
new hyperfixation: the caeser musical 😭
Thank you! It was fun to draw to this. Looks like we both were dealing with blocks at the time when we were making these. It was nice.
It's been my first time being in an Invisobang and I got to do it with @nelkcats go read their fic! Constantine despite appearing at the very end and causing himself his own trouble is always amusing to see. Also it was fun to beta read for ya!
It's so common to have first war Snape be some super badass high ranking Death Eater, which is really odd imo. All the evidence points to Snape being not at all remarkable among existing Death Eaters. Karakaroff named him as a last resort, and didn't attach any specific crime to his name, unlike the other names he gave. Sirius didn't know he was a Death Eater, and Voldemort thought he was low profile enough that Dumbledore would not know he was a Death Eater and hire him as a teacher (though Dumbledore did in fact know). He wasn't trusted with a Horcrux. His soul is also intact until he kills Dumbledore, which wouldn't happen if he had directly killed anyone (which doesn't remove the possibility of him killing people indirectly like he did the Potter's).
The crime that is consistently emphasized with regards to Snape isn't active malice or sadism. Rather, it's indifference. Whether it's Mary McDonald or James and Harry, the crime that is emphasized were he's involved isn't hurting them, but not giving a shit when others do. Only when the one person who he does care about beyond himself is murdered, by his own indifference to the suffering of an innocent by delivering the prophecy, can Snape's moral journey begin. Evil prevails when men do nothing. Snape learned that lesson painfully, and so he embarks on a journey to learn by actively fighting against evil, so that what's left of Lily can live. In the process, he expands his moral universe beyond Lily, culminating in his year as headmaster, where he gives everything of himself to save others, including those he hates. He also accepts that Harry has to die, acknowledging that Voldemort's defeat and saving the wizarding world is more important than his personal atonement to Lily. He loves the wizarding world, more than he ever did Lily. Snape's arc is one of moving from selfishness, to selflessness.
Finally decided to make a masterlist for this series!
Alongside the chapters, I also have any other posts relating to this series!
These includes: Designs, Misc., and my other series Amira Wayne [Unclassified]!
As always, thank you for reading!
UPDATED: January 6 2024
Keep reading
Ok, hear me out. An AU where Janet Drake is best friends with Lex Luthor, Bruce Wayne and Oliver Queen.
They met in school, and she's a high society girl, not expected or allowed to be much more than a pretty face, but there's this trio of smart idiots (they did all sorts of stupid stuff at school, but they are overall very, very smart), and they're in all sorts of cool classes and extracurriculars, and she wants to learn
So, she snakes her way into the group with well-timed looks and blushes. They eventually include her in all their activities, and so she learns all sort of stuff that she usually wouldn't be allowed to learn, because they help her keep it in the down low. No, she's not taking classes with them, she's being a proper lady and cheering her smart friends on through the oh-so-hard classes.
At some point or another, they all develop a crush on her, fleeting as it may be (they're hormonal teens and they're required to flirt, it was bound to happen)
They flirt publicly, as it keeps the media from pressuring them into relationships— or so they thought. It backfires when they're adults, the media is demanding Janet settle down and stops leading all three of them on. But there would be a scandal if she picked any of them, so she picks Jack, someone who doesn't love her or she loves, but someone desperate enough to climb the social ladder to care if he loves his wife.
When he's not allowed to flirt anymore, that's where Bruce realizes that he actually liked her.
When Tim comes along, and Janet has to go on trips, she leaves him with her trusted friends. So, Tim learns a lot from his Uncle Lex, learns to shoot a bow from his Uncle Ollie, and loves staying with his Uncle Bruce and his children. He figures him out far too easily and does become Robin when Jason figures he's ready to pass on the mantle to his little brother (because they're brothers. Tim spends a lot of time in their house)
Bruce adores Tim, he really does. It just kinda hurts, that he's Janet's kid, but not his.
Eventually, Janet divorces Jack, and she gets to spend a lot more time in Gotham. But by now Tim is as much Bruce's as he is Janet's, so they co-parent the gremlin that is her son, which leads to a lot of time with Bruce.
Bruce treats her better than Jack ever did, and she trusts him far more. They have the memories of years together. Eventually, Bruce tells her the truth— that he never truly moved on from his best friend.
When they marry, sure it's a media circus, but also not a surprise.
She's also a good mom, to Tim as much as to Dick or Jason.
When Jason finds out Catherine is not his mom, sure he gets curious, but he has a mom already, he's happy. He does want to meet his bio mom, but he agrees to do so safely, not go alone. Fine, B, you can come with.
Joker never happens. Jason is disappointed when he finds his mom is not at all what he expected, and he has a much better one at home.
Eventually, when Damian comes into the picture, he's snappy with Janet. "you will never be my mother, you harlot!" but Janet simply puts a hand on his shoulder and speaks calmly, yet sharp as the blade he threatens her with
"You will not speak to me like that, boy. No, I am not your mother. But I am married to your father, and I hold the authority as such, so you will go up to your room, you will cool down, and you will never threaten or insult me again, or you will be grounded."
"You can't do that!"
"She can. She has my full permission to discipline my kids, Damian. In this house, she holds as much authority as I do." Bruce interjects
Damian, begrudgingly, learns to respect Janet, and eventually he does see her as a second mom
The amount of times Oliver or Lex visit the Wayne-Drake household is absurd, but sue them, they like their friends. This leads to a lot of chaos, because every time Oliver visits so does Roy, and Roy hangs out with Dick and Jason, while Damian sticks to glaring at everyone.
Meanwhile, they dote on Tim, because they sure as hell have a favourite nephew, and it's the one they watched grow inside the belly of one of their best friends, the one they all changed the diapers of, the one they've taught a lot of skills to, the one they helped raise in a way they never helped raise any of the other Wayne boys. They don't even try to hide their preference. Now, of course they like all their nephews, but it's always hilarious because when Tim is around his uncle Lex, he's ten times the evil mastermind he generally is, and Oliver encourages it, simply for the chaos, and so does Janet, while Bruce is downright terrified of the idea of Tim as a villain (everyone is)
what up, I’m mae, I’m 19 and I never fucking learned how to read | SHE/HER | AO3 FANATIChttps://maeswriting.carrd.co
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