A 1091 Word Vamp!Eddie, Witch!Steve And Werewolf!Billy One Shot With ER!Mungrove And Sort Of Meet-cute/ugly

A 1091 word vamp!Eddie, witch!Steve and werewolf!Billy one shot with ER!Mungrove and sort of meet-cute/ugly

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“I'm fine, can we just go? I'm sure there are haunted houses and shit that need dealing with,” Billy said.

More like whined, but Eddie knew he wouldn't appreciate this word.

“Stop whining,” Eddie answered, rolling his eyes.

Bu now, Billy had been not whining for three fucking days. Both because the goddamned fleas he managed to get during one of his shifts wouldn't leave him alone, and because he didn't want to go ask a witch to help deal with them.

Who on Earth got magical fucking fleas anyway. Billy couldn't explain exactly what he had been doing that night, and Eddie only came home when Billy was already soundly asleep under a mountain of blankets.

At least the nasty pests seemed to only be attracted to werewolves. Or at maybe only to alive things. But they still were a nuisance when Eddie was trying to feed from Billy in peace.

Like, it's not fun to get a bug jump in your nose during dinner.

And here they were, in a random neighborhood on a Wednesday evening, with a rough idea that a witch might live in one of the houses.

“Those are my fleas!” yelled Billy, furiously scratching his neck.

“And I live with you!”

Eddie couldn't comprehend why Billy was so adamantly against a witch visit. It was the best next thing to an actual magical vet and the fleas were clearly making him miserable.

Billy growled in response, making Eddie throw up his hands and get out of the car.

He kicked a tire. Gently.

Billy called him a slur from the car.

Eddie flipped him off.

Billy got out of the car.

“We don't even know her,” Billy whined.

“Oh poor baby, are you afraid she won't think you're cool because of your fleas?” Eddie cooed, unsympathetic.

Billy frowned and didn't answer, turning around and walking up to a one-storey house that looked to be sort of falling apart with its garden overgrown and one of the windows clearly papered over from the inside.

Or your average witch house.

It looked funny in comparison to a small mansion across the street. That one seemed to have a pool and a garden in the backyard, and a real porch and shit. Why both of those houses were in a completely normal looking suburb of otherwise identical looking perfect little family houses was unclear.

The door was opened after three rings (Billy put all of his annoyance onto pettiness) by a harassed looking tiny chick with a huge halo of curls and eyes that took up almost half of her face.

“Yes?” She asked, way angrier than her look would imply.

She somehow sounded almost like Billy, which was impressive in a way.

Billy glowered.

She glowered back, very clearly not intimidated in the slightest.

As entertaining as this standoff was, Eddie remembered that they were here on business.

“Ah yeah, we're here… for…” for fuck’s sake, this was the worst part, always.

They didn't know if this girl was actually a witch, so they couldn't ask directly, but otherwise they just looked insane. He moved his fingers in the air like sparkles falling away, trying to think of something. A quick glance at Billy told him he wasn't going to be helpful, choosing to stare at their car with a mulish expression on his face.

The girl sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Who gives this address to everyone? Jesus. You've got the wrong house, you need that one,” she pointed behind Eddie and Billy.

Turning around, they saw that she was pointing to the big house. The random mansion.

That didn't seem right.

They turned back to look at the chick.

Witches didn't live in nice places.

Billy still glowered. She didn't back down, clearly seconds away from slamming the door on them.

“Are you…” Eddie started.

“Am I sure that neither I nor my boyfriend are the witch you're looking for? Yes. My ex, however, is a witch, and he lives there. Bye.” She slammed the door.

Well, this wasn't rude at all. But Eddie was still impressed.

“This is our chance to leave,” said Billy, “a guy? That's fucked up for a witch.”

Eddie thought about it for a minute. Like, yeah, but he wasn't about to agree with the person who couldn't even deal with his fleas like an adult.

“That's sexist.”

“Hey! The job requires patience us guys aren't gifted with.”

Eddie shook his head and went across the street. Whatever. Like being a DM the way Eddie used to be before they started traveling full time didn't require the same patience.

The house was intimidating. He rang the bell.

And rang the bell.

And rang the bell.

And rang the bell.

“Maybe he's not home?” Billy half-whispered, hope clear in his eyes.

Eddie was about to agree and leave, when the door flew open, a nerdy looking kid flying by them.

“Sorry! Steve, you’ve got visitors! I'll come by in the morning! Bye!” He yelled all in one breath, mounting his bike.

When Eddie and Billy turned back from watching him go, there was a guy their age in the doorframe.

“Sorry about that. You needed something?” the guy asked, looking annoyed but clearly trying to put on his polite client-oriented mask.

For a moment, there was approximately one thought in Eddie's mind.

The guy was hot.

Eddie didn't look, but he could literally feel Billy move into his seducer pose, leaning against the frame.

“Well, hello,” he said in a voice that Eddie always thought just had to hurt his throat, but Billy insisted that being hot was worth it.

Eddie could see the guy's confusion and mild interest morph into slight skepticism where he looked over Eddie's shoulder at Billy.

“He has some sort of magic fleas, please help,” Eddie blurted, pointing at Billy with his thumb, ignoring the indignant “hey”. The prettiest brown eyes on Earth darted to him then back at Billy.

They guy nodded once, then twice.

“Oh. That's… yeah, that… I think I'll need to figure out what they really are first, and then make you something, so come on in, it'll take some time. I'm Steve, by the way,” Steve ushered them in.

And if they left in the morning only to go get groceries and come back, then who can fault them? A witch guy is a rarity, you've got to hold onto them.

Especially one that ends up having an address of an actual magical vet and is willing to make the drive with you.