People Are Like “these Animals Have Exoskeletons And These Ones Have Endoskeletons” But No. It’s

Hot take: Hater culture is just cringe culture in a different trench coat.

“I love being a hater u3u” No you love being a pedantic little shit who takes the enjoyment out of everything and makes people feel bad for liking anything.

What makes “being a hater” so fucking annoying isn’t even the negativity, it’s that it makes everything fucking boring. What, something has to be flawless to be good? Get fucked. I hate that kind of mindset, that just because something has its issues that it’s fine to dismiss everything it does right. Chronic “Hating” strips everything of its individuality and demands conformity, because how dare this thing be something I don’t enjoy! How dare there be flaws!

And don’t even get me started on how half of the “flaws” they point out aren’t even fucking flaws, and are just not conventional.

It’s also fucking annoying how this kind of mindset crawled into fandom spaces. That’s also why, in my opinion, it got this rebrand, because “cringe” in itself is kind of a fandom-esque term. It’s just a bunch of bitter idiots getting lost and finding themselves in fandom spaces somehow, only to point at everything and going “Oh my GOD, do you UNIRONICALLY like that??”

It’s the same shit over again, where something is only “allowed” to be enjoyed through like, seven layers of irony. It’s pathetic. Fuckos, it’s fine to acknowledge that something has flaws and still like it. At least fucking stand for it.

I didn’t want to acknowledge how fandom in general has deteriorated because of these insecure, bitter idiots invading spaces made for enjoying something unconventional safely, but fuck, I miss the old times. They weren’t fucking perfect, but at least there wasn’t some whiny rat around every corner screeching about how liking something is bad unless you do it at a mental and emotional distance.

Fuck haters. Fuck cringe culture. Fuck all the people who say shit like “love being a hater uwu” and “being bullying back”. Sort out your own fucking issues. Grow up.

[This idea has been rattling in my brain and I had to share it.]

I know we all love the ‘humans are space orcs’ concept… but imagine, onboard the new ship they’ve been assigned to, the human meets an actual space orc. A massive monster… fangs and tusks and scars and a battle-hardened stare, looming over all the other life forms on the ship in its thick indestructible armour it refuses to remove. It barely drinks, it doesn’t need sleep, its massive shoulders are heavy with the terrible things it has experienced. Compared to the squishy & delicate human body, this thing is a walking tank.

… Except instead of hating/ignoring one another, the human and the monster start bonding over both coming from death planets. The human is excited to find a life form who doesn’t quiver with fear at the vague description of a jellyfish and the monster is ecstatic to meet someone who understands the feeling of being bitten by a qua’lem (cats are pretty close). They sit together and compare dangerous animals and locations as the other aliens look on in confusion and fear… oh, you also have dense jungles of deadly hidden predators, boiling acid lakes, tamed predatory killers, and areas with horrendously high and low temperatures? Sick!! 

It doesn’t take long before the two of them become totally inseparable. The human loves not feeling like some kind of crazy outsider and the monster is overjoyed they’ve finally found an equal in this unkillable marshmallow.

Monster: When I was a youngling, a grol-lik stung straight through my armour. The pain lasted for approximately 16 human hours. Human: Oh yeah man, I get that. As a kid I got a wasp stuck in my shirt. It stung me like four times, it was awful, and all my cousins just laughed at me… Monster: [using their arm screen to research human courting methods] I see.

What type of dragon nerd are you

A- Neatly organise your dragon knowledge into easy to understand cards with pleasant drawings depicting the appearance of each dragon

B- BASHJSUSHWSHJVXS NARHJAHSGSJS EAHARAHJJJJD REIAHS DDRAGON DEHDHUHEHDB ADRJJJFJD ARGHGHGHGHG MUST TOUCH WILD ANIMAL SEIJDHIUWEHD MUST PET IT. MUST PET IT. ARAGAHKF RIEIWEEEUDJDSN HAARFFF FARAFAFQJJ W I KNOW EVEYTHING ABOUT DRSGONS ITS IN MY BARIN SOMEWHERE DHWEBIUIUB DRAGON DRAGONS NEW SPECIES OF DRAGON GET IN MY BRAIN SHHXVSHXHBA

Good bug, 10/10

Hi, frothing at the mouth crying screaming throwing up over W1, I love the concept, the art, the symbolism, may I ask for a doodle of my favorite robot(s) if you have the time n energy

look at this cool bug he found!! he will put it in a jar

thank you sm for the nice words!

“what that mouth do” gnaw on bone and chew through ligaments

Ketterdam Nights

Dear Sirs.

SCP-682's powers are metatextual. He's unkillable because the story says he is nearly unkillable and no solution would be satisfying. His nickname is 'the very hard to destroy reptile' for rigour's sake. You don't have to be Grant Morrison to put this together.

The solution is to alter the narrative so that there is a means of killing him that is satisfying. Unfortunately, only full-on apocalypse scenarios or the use of SCP-682 as a jobber for an even worse threat would fill that criteria.

So unless you want to unleash something even more tiresome, like the Black Moon or the Scarlet King or the Yellow Submarine or whatever other color-coded doomsday monster you have on tap, you're just wasting jumpsuit filling doing anything at all.

The easy alternative is to simply stop trying to kill him.

Just focus on holding him in the most boring, routine ways possible, rendering him increasingly less interesting and thus reducing the time between stories focused on him and thus, the resulting breaches and disasters.

Or you can do what we did. If you aren't chicken.

Ours wasn't a rotted lizard. It was a sort of mummified horse the size of a 1996 Volkswagen Harlequin, and it was a she, but otherwise same deal. Regeneration. Vat of acid. Mass casualties. Violent opposition to the use of breath mints. Endemic to all life. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to.

We figured out the how it worked, and we speed-ran the whole concept, hurling that vile beast through a veritable plinko-fall of thousands of extermination tests and controlled rampages until there was literally nothing left to do with the 'More-Than-One-Way-to-Fail-to-Kill-a Horse'.

And we trust the populace enough to not lie to them for 'their own good'. Because its funny? Sure. Profitable? Absolutely (don't worry, shareholders!)! But never for 'their own good.'

So we turned those experiments into a 17 season reality television program hosted by Greg Kinnear and force-fed them to a sludge-hungry populace.

There were 'More-Than-One-Way-to-Fail-to-Kill-a Horse' calendars, coffee mugs, t-shirts, two different animated spin-offs running at the same time for some reason, four movies starring Chris Pratt as the voice of the horse, an ongoing sketch on Late Night with Conan O'Brien, 'More-Than-One-Way-to-Fail-to-Kill-a Horse' "acid bath" sour candy flavored yogurt in a tube, a series of increasingly inadequately playtested gameboy cartridges, a 27-issue limited series from Image comics, and adorable plush mummified murder-horse plushes with little suction cups on their red-felt hooves so they can stare balefully out the back of your station wagon at that ASSHOLE Kevin in his souped up Trans AM who does not understand the concept of a safe following distance, and you JUST want to run him off the road with the magno-lifters and recreate the scene from Lost Highway with Robert Loggia, but "you can't use the magno-lifters for revenge" because it's "against OSHA regulations" and "technically assault!"

And once the first shipment of 'More-Than-One-Way-to-Fail-to-Kill-a Horse' Funko Pops hit store shelves, the creature's cultural cache cratered so hard that it became a parody of itself so predictable it's "containment" is now a Universal Studios attraction with two failed executions and a containment breach each night, with double shows on Saturdays.

Now, it was a rocky ride getting there, especially for Utah (projections say you'll get those House seats back in two, maybe three, generations at most, don't you worry!) but we've proven that even if it isn't killable, you can, in fact, beat a dead horse.

Hope this helps.

Humbert, Outreach Liaison Melinoë Laboratories "Hoc non veniet ad nos mordax"

dandelions deserve more respect than they get

you say “weeds” I say “widespread non-native edible plant and early-blooming pollinator resource that is not considered invasive because it behaves politely and does not cause deleterious ecological consequences”

YES

How’d my spleen taste

Delicious. I‘ll eat your liver next.