Majexs03 - Aprilph

Please read this

three things on your mind?

We all know that when you start becoming more disciplined and start working on yourself to become a better person, you won't see the results immediately but what people fail to tell you is that sometimes it will take multiple years for you to appreciate the full results of all your hard work. Things won’t fall into place instantly, and expecting your life to change overnight is only setting yourself up for disappointment. Real progress takes lots of time, effort, and patience. At times you might feel as though you're working your fingers to the bone for very little in return or as if things are getting worse instead of better. This is not the case, you will definitely get to where you want to be but you always have to keep working towards your goals and the gains will come to you when you least expect it. Discipline is the foundation of self-improvement; you can’t depend on fleeting bursts of motivation to make lasting changes in your life. You need to build strength and discipline to push past the excuses and take consistent, purposeful action, even when it feels hard. It’s about showing up for yourself day after day. True strength lies in doing what needs to be done, even when you don’t feel like it—which, more often than not, will be the case.

There will be times when you must decide between staying true to yourself and pursuing personal success. Your own preferences, values, beliefs, and identity might conflict with the actions or compromises required for personal success. People’s perceptions, judgments, and decisions are deeply influenced by their personal experiences, emotions, and biases—far more than we often assume. Regardless of their position, whether they are experts, leaders, or authority figures, they remain human, shaped by their own worldviews, insecurities, and subconscious inclinations. Their preconceived notions about you will significantly influence the outcome, even in cases when it should solely depend on your actual competence. As an example - I think that investing into your looks and making sure you look beautiful before stepping out into the world is incredibly important as a woman. Beauty is power but not entirely your own, and the kind of beauty that can be used to your advantage depends on how others see it and that's just a fact. There are many types of beauty and it’s important to think about the kind of beauty that’s most celebrated in your surroundings. For instance, the industry I’m in doesn’t appreciate any intentional attention to personal style—that's just how it is. Complaining about something I can't change or forcing others to accept me as I am is only going to hold me back from valuable opportunities and hurt my future prospects when I could just accept it as it is and profit.

You can't really expect things to be always going smoothly if you want your life to change drastically. Growth happens when you step outside what feels familiar, take risks, and challenge yourself to embrace the discomfort that comes with progress. It's essential to embrace and get really comfortable with the idea of change, because without it, your life won’t evolve. It's not going to feel good to give up old habits, resist temptation of short term pleasures and overcome instant gratification, step out of your comfort zone, spend hours on tedious tasks, severe ties with people you've known all your life, face your biggest insecurities, put your hard-earned money into your personal growth, or unpack your inmost pent up feelings and years of trauma. It's scary, it's difficult and it's uncomfortable. But if you want to build yourself a good life, it's absolutely necessary and there's no doubt you'll need to make certain sacrifices on the way. People often place too much emphasis on the end results, neglecting the journey itself, when in reality, it should be the other way around. The true value lies in the process, in the growth and learning that happen along the way and the results will naturally follow. Brianna West said it best when she said your new life is going to cost you your old one. It’s going to cost you your comfort zone and your sense of direction. It’s going to cost you relationships and friends. If you want your life to transform, you embrace change.

Google is so powerful that it "hides" other search systems from us. We just don't know the existence of most of them.

Meanwhile, there are still a huge number of excellent searchers in the world who specialize in books, science, other smart information.

Keep a list of sites you never heard of.

www.refseek.com - Academic Resource Search. More than a billion sources: encyclopedia, monographies, magazines.

www.worldcat.org - a search for the contents of 20 thousand worldwide libraries. Find out where lies the nearest rare book you need.

https://link.springer.com - access to more than 10 million scientific documents: books, articles, research protocols.

www.bioline.org.br is a library of scientific bioscience journals published in developing countries.

http://repec.org - volunteers from 102 countries have collected almost 4 million publications on economics and related science.

www.science.gov is an American state search engine on 2200+ scientific sites. More than 200 million articles are indexed.

www.base-search.net is one of the most powerful researches on academic studies texts. More than 100 million scientific documents, 70% of them are free.

Source here.

focus is a skill. self-awareness is a skill. being non-reactive is a skill. conscious breathing is a skill. consistency is a skill. controlling your impulses is a skill. observance is a skill.

a skill is not mastered through willpower alone, by simply deciding that, from now on, you have it. skills are acquired through effort, through trial and error, through policing of one's actions. you're going to fumble, trip and fall on your face often while learning these skills; it does not mean they are unachievable, or that you're failing at them: it means you're learning.

when you falter, pick yourself up, assess your mistake, and stay tuned for the next opportunity to try again, as many times as it takes until you feel that rush of "wow. I got it!". absolutely nothing fruitful comes from sitting around moping about how you're not there yet.

Hi Elle,

Did you take any etiquette classes, or red any books about etiquette? If so what did you take away from it? In general what is some basic etiquette everyone should know?

Yes, my mother made my sister and me take etiquette classes when we were growing up, where we learned how to make small talk, use cutlery properly, do the fox trot, and all that. It felt like torture at the time, but now that I'm an adult, I'm incredibly grateful for it. There are countless teachings I believe everyone should know, but I'll keep it simple and list the basics:

Socializing:

Greetings and Introductions:

Initiate Greetings: In formal settings, greeting the host and senior individuals first is polite.

Introduce Yourself with Confidence: When introducing yourself, make eye contact, smile, and offer a firm (but gentle) handshake.

Remember Names: Pay attention to names during introductions, and try to use them in conversation to show attentiveness.

Conversation Etiquette:

Avoid Monopolizing Conversations: Engage in a balanced dialogue exchange; avoid dominating the conversation.

Graceful Interruptions: If you must interrupt, do so politely with a soft “Excuse me” or “May I add…?”

Ending Conversations: Close conversations gracefully, e.g., “It was a pleasure speaking with you,” before moving on to another guest.

Small Talk and Topics:

Safe Topics: Stick to light, neutral topics like travel, the arts, or current (non-controversial) events.

Avoid Over-sharing: Keep personal matters private; maintain an air of mystery and sophistication.

Dining:

Seating Etiquette:

Wait to Be Seated: Wait until the host signals to sit, or until you’re guided to your seat.

Seating Order: If you’re hosting, guide guests to their seats based on seniority or guest of honor status.

Table Manners:

Utensil Use: Start with the outermost utensils and work your way in as the courses progress. After you've cut your food, make sure you move your for to your left hand even if it feels counterintuitive,

Bread and Butter: Tear off a small piece of bread, butter it on your plate, and eat it, rather than buttering the entire slice.

Resting Utensils: When pausing, place utensils on the plate in a “resting” position, such as crossed or angled.

Handling Courses:

Soup Etiquette: Spoon soup away from you and sip from the edge of the spoon without slurping.

Pacing: Match your pace to the host or the most senior individual at the table. Don't rush or lag behind.

Events:

RSVP and Invitations:

Timely Response: Respond to invitations promptly and never bring uninvited guests unless explicitly allowed.

Respect Time: Arrive on time, especially for formal events, but not more than 15 minutes early.

Host and Guest Responsibilities:

Host Etiquette: As a host, introduce guests to each other, especially if they don’t know anyone else.

Guest Behavior: Engage with other guests, but don’t cling to one person for the entire event. Mingle politely.

Handling Alcohol:

Moderation: Drink alcohol in moderation. Know your limits and avoid overindulgence.

Toast Etiquette: Stand if a toast is being made in your honor, and wait to drink until after the toast is given.

Dressing:

Dress Code Adherence:

Understand the Code: Whether it’s black tie, cocktail, or casual, always adhere strictly to the dress code specified on the invitation.

Subtle Elegance: Opt for classic, understated pieces that are elegant but not overly flashy.

Grooming and Accessories:

Impeccable Grooming: Make sure your hair, nails, and makeup are neatly done and appropriate for the occasion.

Minimalist Accessories: Choose simple, elegant accessories that complement but do not overpower your outfit.

Hormone balancing juice:

• Pomegranate: Rich in antioxidants, supports estrogen balance & heart health

• Beetroot: Boosts circulation & helps detox the liver, key for hormone regulation

• Carrots: Supports the liver in flushing out excess estrogen & promotes healthy skin

• Orange: Packed with vitamin C, helps regulate cortisol & improves overall energy

• Ginger: Reduces inflammation & aids digestion, which is crucial for balanced hormones

Additional ingredients you can add:

• Turmeric: Anti inflammatory & supports liver detox, helping regulate hormones

• Apple: Adds natural sweetness, fiber & supports liver health

• Lemon: Boosts digestion & further helps with liver detox, supporting hormone balance

• Flaxseeds: Rich in omega 3s which help regulate estrogen levels

• Cucumber: Hydrating & soothing, helps flush toxins and balance hormones

• Spinach or Kale: Provides essential nutrients like magnesium, which supports hormone regulation & reduces stress

You will disappoint people you care about when you put yourself first.

Perspectives shifts to make peace with this:

• Disappointment is unavoidable; it’s part of being human.

• Putting yourself first doesn’t mean you care less about others.

• You can’t pour from an empty cup—your well-being matters.

• People who truly care will understand your need for boundaries.

• Disappointment is temporary; resentment from overgiving lasts longer.

• Prioritizing yourself sets an example for others to do the same.

• Your worth isn’t tied to how much you sacrifice for others.

• Saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to yourself.

• You’re responsible for your happiness, not their expectations.

• Growth often feels uncomfortable, but it’s necessary for a fulfilling life.

When it comes to family (as many such cases):

• Family expectations can feel heavier, but you’re still allowed to set boundaries.

• Disappointing them doesn’t mean you don’t love them—it means you’re human.

• Your needs matter, even if they don’t always align with family traditions or values.

• You can explain your choices, but you’re not responsible for their feelings.

• Loving your family doesn’t mean sacrificing yourself.

• Putting yourself first can strengthen relationships by reducing resentment.

• Healthy boundaries lead to healthier family dynamics over time.

• It’s okay to grow in a direction that feels right for you, even if they don’t understand.

• You are not obligated to meet everyone’s expectations—family or not.

• Peace comes from accepting that love & disappointment can coexist.

How I got my life together.

Getting your life together, and I mean really getting it together, should be a priority of yours. You can’t miss out on your life by staying in a pattern of losing it all, pulling it together as quickly and as carelessly as you can, and then losing it all again because you weren’t ready enough or devoted the first time. I made a choice to pull my life together when I was 18, and I’ve stayed improving myself ever since; I bettered my mental health, fixed my body, changed my mindset, found an aesthetic and style that worked for me and that I loved, and have done my part to keep steadily improving my life and my mindset. If you are devoted to yourself and your life, you will do well and find that the path towards your future will become much clearer as time goes on.

Exercising.

You need to be exercising, bettering your body, and taking the time to nourish yourself and your health. This means eating whole meals and taking the time to cook and prepare them, considering removing heavily processed foods and alcohol from your day-to-day diet, and taking the time to do at home or in gym workouts. I do Move with Nicole videos in the morning, finish up with a quick yoga session, go to the gym in the evenings, and make sure that my body is being fueled by real foods and being properly hydrated throughout the day. You will live in the same body for the rest of your life; you need to make sure that you’re caring for it and nourishing it in ways that will let it support you for the rest of your life. You won’t regret a health journey, and you should actively be on one. 

Socializing.

Isolation will kill you, and if you already have anxiety, it will worsen it. You should be meeting people, getting to know them, leaving your comfort zone, and trying new things. Your late teens and early twenties are all about taking the time to know people, making and losing friends, and figuring out the sorts of people you want to have in your life forever. You have to socialize, go to social events, join clubs and different activities, and get out of the house. I’m a person who believes in spending time around and loving other people, and that has saved my life. If you aren’t sure how to socialize, don’t have friends, or aren’t sure of what you like, now’s the time to learn how. You don’t become good at meeting people in one day; it takes time and failure, but the more you do to leave your comfort zone, the easier it will become as time moves along.

Studying.

I believe that life is meant for learning. It’s important to always be learning, to always be bettering yourself, and to always be keeping your mind busy. While I strongly believe that every woman should have a university education and a degree, I understand that it’s not always feasible. If it’s not possible for you to get a degree, you have to learn a trade, a skill, a language, or find something to occupy your mind so that it’s not idle. It’s important to always be doing something, and it’s important that you’re pursuing a passion; life isn’t much if you’re not passionate about what you’re doing, so you have to find them and do more with them. Education can come from work experience; it can come from pursuing projects, cultivating wisdom, and spending your time nourishing your mind and reading books. Life is a learning experience, and you should be in constant pursuit of educational excellence. 

Seeing More.

Life is about seeing more and seeing things you’ve never experienced. If you’ve always wanted to watch a tennis match, step into the ocean, or see the sights in a new city, now’s the time to start making plans to do those things. We all deserve to see and experience beautiful things, so it’s important that we find the time to do so. If I hadn’t made the time to find beauty in the mundane, I wouldn’t have made it far. You don’t have to spend money pursuing beauty; I find the most beauty I’ve seen in my life is found on short walks and time spent around my city. You should spend your time both looking for beauty and becoming beautiful too.

Doing More.

Doing more is next. I’ve spent my life trying new things, failing, succeeding, having a good time, and learning about what I enjoy. You should be doing more; your twenties are for moving away, visiting new cities, trying new foods, working jobs you hate and finding jobs you love, going to new restaurants and getting into new relationships, and doing more with yourself. All of the greatest women I’ve ever known have told me that they spent next to no time resting in their twenties because they had so much life to live. I’d encourage you to do things without holding yourself back, and if you don’t know what to do with yourself, find things to do. You can't waste your youth being idle; now is the time to get out of your room, see the world and what it has to offer, and do more with yourself and your gifts.

Richarlotte x

Fire and Air placements be like