The Ambition Quest: Mapping Out Your Path To Success

Always wear your cutest outfit. Stop saving so many looks for “special occasions”. You showing up is a special occasion. Look your best.

Crafting a Personality and Capitalising on it

How do we craft a personality that is socially charming yet true to our roots?

How do we mingle and meet new people without feeling awkward or shy about it?

How do we not lose ourselves while following all these blah blah etiquette rules?

Welcome to part 2 of my Chic Girl Mentality series. 🤍

Today, we will focus on crafting a personality that is still you but better.

First, let’s talk about people in social settings. You’ll meet people who are confident, secure and socially charming. You’ll meet quiet people who may be equally socially charming or just very shy and conscious. You’ll meet the braggers and the doe-eyed followers. There’s a lot of different types of people in the world and knowing how to gracefully navigate most of them is nothing but a learned art.

People, regardless of their bank balance, are insecure of what they do not have yet. This can be looks, money, experience, lifestyle, and so on. How do we capitalise on this without exploiting or manipulating anyone?

By knowing how to tell a story.

That doesn’t mean that you need to become a public speaker or politician, it just means that you need to be able to craft intriguing stories about yourself, using your own life and experiences, to “sell” an interesting version of you socially. We’re all interesting people but only a few of us know how to say that we’re interesting without saying that we’re interesting.

Experience 

People, even those with money, will always be more attracted to those who have experiences, especially, unique ones. Whether it’s travelling to exotic locations or trying new culinary destinations, or wearing unknown designers, knowing obscure artists or writers, or being at the top of your industry… experience is the most important thing to cultivate first.  You already have experience. If you went to school, high school, college, joined clubs, your first job, any travelling, etc - these are all experiences.

Make a list of 5 of the most interesting experiences you think you have.

Hobbies and interests 

Have a couple of lowkey hobbies that you feel enthusiastic about. Whether it’s doing some charity work on Sundays, or cooking, or pottery, whatever it is, keeping a hobby is healthy. 

There should be something to you that an acquaintance can remark about: “CSB? Oh yes, I’ve heard that she’s a great dancer.” 

Vulnerabilities 

Certain vulnerabilities must never, ever be shared. It will 100% be used either as gossip or blackmail. 

However, coming across as someone with no weaknesses is rather untrustworthy- it makes the other person feel that you’re clearly hiding something. 

Make a list of vulnerabilities that are small and you don’t mind sharing. These should be vulnerabilities that will never ruin your reputation in any form but can be used as a form of bonding with empathy. 

And make a list of hard core vulnerabilities you know you should never share with anyone. Keep it memorised rather than written down. 

Experience + Hobbies or Interests + Safe Vulnerabilities = Personality

Storytelling 

Now that you have some experience, hobbies, interests, and your “safe” vulnerabilities sorted even if it’s limited - what will make it stand out is the art of storytelling. Some storytellers can make even the most mundane experiences sound magical - it’s all in the words and delivery. There’s a reason why every Holy Book is a story, packed with lessons and morals - it’s impactful, easy to remember and recall and relatable. Craft your experiences into stories. Use those 5 experiences that you noted down and start writing them down as stories.

Take up an online storytelling class or watch videos. Start honing this skill by writing and reading good literature. 

Refine your 5 experiences further. Run it through chatGPT, say them out loud and most importantly- start testing them out on people. See what makes them chuckle and what doesn’t; what makes them empathise and what doesn’t.

A famous comedian whose name I can’t remember does the same thing. He creates his set. He goes to a small pub and tries it out on the audience there. And the first set is always the first. The audience may not laugh at his jokes, they might boo him or sometimes, he might get a laugh out of them. But every time, he goes home and refines his set further. Once his set is fully refined, and he accomplishes his goal of the audience peeling with laughter at every joke, that’s when he goes on national TV / on tour etc etc.

The most important thing is to craft your stories of your experiences in a way that it delivers the value you want the person to remember about you.

For instance, if I want to be seen as creative and innovative, I won’t tell the person in front of me, “oh, I’m soo innovative and creative!”

Rather I will weave that into a story. “When I was 24, at my first job in the advertising space, we were losing clients left and right. And one weekend, I was on a trek on the mountains - it’s one of my hobbies - this idea hit me, and I suddenly knew exactly how to get our clients back. My team was hesitant about my idea, and we got a lot of pushback, but we went ahead. The night before my launch I was so nervous, I got hardly sleep. And you won’t believe it, but the idea worked! The response was fantastic.”

Let the other person come to the conclusion of you being innovative and creative. Human beings love to deduce things and jump to conclusions and provided you set the context the right way, you should be able to project the version of you that is the best part of you.

Vocabulary 

A sign of a good education- even if you don’t have it - is a diverse vocabulary. I’ve always had a little more respect and awe for those who are articulate, can speak smoothly and speak confidently. I’ve noticed that my American friends, for instance, tend to talk fast with lots of filler words, and sentences tend to end with a pitch up instead of down, which to me indicates hesitation or indecision. Speaking slower, ending your sentences with pitch going down to indicate a full stop rather than up makes you seem like a refined speaker even if your subject is utterly stupid. 

Body language and mannerisms, social interaction 

Watch old classic Hollywood movies to really understand this - especially romantic ones. Choose ones with a femme fatale or siren-like female lead, and watch how she enraptures the male lead or the audience around her. 

A combination of fantastic storytelling and body language will take you places beyond your dreams. Some of the biggest frauds, scammers, politicians, criminals are also some of the best storytellers. Humans are attracted to stories, we pick up body language intuitively, we can sense when someone is nervous or isn’t. Unfortunately the world isn’t a kind place and will not necessarily help you out of your shyness- in fact, that might just make you the best target for exploitation. 

Storytelling + Vocabulary + Body Language = Your Best Personality

How to Get (and Keep) Your Life Together 101

Here’s a quick masterlist of all the tips, hacks and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own. 💜

Hydration: Make sure every day you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, black tea. You see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water wil do wonders for your skin and your overall body health.

Nutrition: Maintain a healthy diet by letting go of toxic “restrictive” diet culture and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your sacred body, so offer your body the best! Eat lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds; lots of wholefoods. Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.

Exercise: Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle and personality; whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. DYI your own gym routine or hire a trainer; train at home or in the gym; whatever works best for you.

Growth Mindset: Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones; unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need. Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself, a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe. Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power; so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!

Relationships: Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times, and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends/partners that are meant for you, will stay or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment; you can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.

Focus & Goals: Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wishlist etc. - in other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucketlists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.

Fashion: Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos and accessories. Mix and match, figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, remove what doesn’t click. (You can find a bunch of videos on YT for organizing clothes and being effortlessly fashionable/put together.) When you reorganize your wardrobe according to the above, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe makes sense and it’s already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (ie. Saturday) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week; so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished, and avoid the whole ordeal of being stressed/rushed and not knowing what to wear.

Skincare and haircare: Golden advice - invest in natural products/oils/ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils (shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, rosehip, etc), and water extracts (rosewater, hazelwater) for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hairgrowth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hairgrowth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars and marks. Do your research and try out what fits you, your skin will thank you later. I’ve been using natural products & oils for 9+ years and people always compliment how clear, smooth & glowy my skin is. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine; just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients (for both yourself and the environment.

Etiquette, manners, poise, posture: Watch videos, read books or listen to audiobooks about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective (and the way you carry yourself).

Finances: Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are, what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, or savings for travels, or new tattoos, or a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories (Necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, free/remaining funds). Keep track of your expenses or habits, there are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much are the monthly necessities (rent/mortgage/etc), know what has been payed and keeping receipts, knowing when things need to be paid, etc.

Integrity: This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth, you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all remember - only you know what’s right for you, what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!

Efficiency & Improvement: This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life, don’t ever just settle down/get stuck/let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life (ex. via journaling) to see whether there’s anything you can make more easy, more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with Trivial Adult Things.

Turning your life around? Coming out of a funk? Getting over a breakup? Need to reignite your spark for life? Need to feel in control? Want a boost of confidence? Dealing with low self esteem?

Where to start:

Exercise every day

Skincare + makeup of personal preference (yes this includes not wearing makeup at all if that is your personal preference)

Hair done

Showered and moisturized

At least one hobby you engage with on a daily/frequent basis

At least one skill you are developing on a daily/frequent basis

If you haven’t gotten a 7 day workout streak and completed the other bullet points on this list yet, stop moaning, get to work, and kill your distractions.

This is level 0.

March 2023 "That Girl" Challenge

Helloooo :)

This is the 31-Day Challenge that I've created for us to do together this month. It's just something simple and fun. Enjoy! - BlissfullyEcho

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DAY 1: Deep clean your living space (bedroom, apartment, house, condo, camper, etc)

DAY 2: Deep clean your car (if you don't have a car, deep clean something else that you haven't done but should do: junk drawer, dresser, yoga mat, makeup brushes, etc)

DAY 3: Try a new (healthy!) recipe-- this could even be a healthy dessert or beverage

DAY 4: Try a guided meditation on YouTube for 10 minutes after waking up and before checking social media

DAY 5: Spend an extra 15 minutes working on something for school, work, hobbies, or your own personal development

DAY 6: Unfollow, delete, and block social media accounts and phone contacts that are just not part of your life anymore (or those who you plan on not having as a part of your life anymore)

DAY 7: Delete social media pictures that don't fit in with the best version of you. This could be the overedited photos, the thirst trap you put on there because that one person made you upset, etc.

DAY 8: Try a new workout that you haven't done. Pilates, ballet, barre, tennis, CrossFit, kickboxing, F45, cycling, running, swimming, etc.

DAY 9: Pamper your pet. Brush, clean, trim their nails, give them treats, etc. Go above and beyond for them today. (If you don't have animals, pamper yourself today!)

DAY 10: Enjoy the sunshine. Go outside (wear your sunscreen, sunglasses, and a hat) for 15-20 minutes and enjoy your own company and nature.

DAY 11: No phone 30 minutes before bed. Set your bedtime tonight, and set an alarm 30 minutes prior to that. Once your alarm goes off, put your phone on DND and read a book before bed. Read until you are tired enough to turn off your lights and sleep.

DAY 12: Watch a documentary about something and learn! Maybe it's something you've never had an interest in. Just please make it positive! No heartbreaking or tragic documentaries. Let's not invite that into our "That Girl" challenge.

DAY 13: Buy a self-care item. This could be a yoga mat, face mask, cleansing oil, the Bible, perfume, etc. It can be as expensive or inexpensive as you'd like.

DAY 14: Go out on a date with yourself. Take yourself out to do something you've never done/been to before.

DAY 15: Aim to drink at least 60oz. of pure water today.

DAY 16: Spend 30 minutes learning a language you've always wanted to learn (and if you love it, practice for 10 minutes a day afterward)

DAY 17: Turn your notifications off.

DAY 18: No social media today.

DAY 19: Do something creative today. Buy a canvas, paint, and a brush, and follow a Bob Ross tutorial; maybe buy a jewelry-making kit. Take today and be creative for at least 30 minutes.

DAY 20: 10,000 steps OR walk for an hour

DAY 21: Go through your finances and see where you can budget. Take this time to audit your subscriptions and see if you would like to cancel any recurring subscriptions to save you extra money each month.

DAY 22: Avoid eating animal products today. Just focus on whole grains, fruit, veggies, nuts, seeds, water, and vitamins.

DAY 23: Schedule any doctor appointments you might have. If you don't have to, then take today to create a to-do list for the next 3 days.

DAY 24: Spend some time deleting pictures and making storage space in your phone. Any way you can-- it doesn't have to be from deleting your photos.

DAY 25: Listen to a new podcast or TedTalk.

DAY 26: Check your credit report/score and see if there's anything you need to do/complete.

DAY 27: Clear your email inbox and unsubscribe from the companies you don't shop from anymore.

DAY 28: Touch up on your resume.

DAY 29: Sort through your closet and throw away, donate, and sell your clothes and shoes that you don't wear (and that you know you'll never wear again)

DAY 30: Sort through your bathroom drawers and cabinets and organize them.

DAY 31: Create a vision board for April.

skills that will never stop serving you☆ . °🪷

the ability to sell/negotiate

listening and learning from others

ability to speak in front of people

staying positive/optimistic

persisting and continuing to try regardless of failure

understanding other people’s feelings

ability to say no

making smart decisions that have a high ROI (return on investment)

managing ur own time and money

how to adapt, improvise, and overcome struggles and obstacles

asking for help

conveying what u think and feel

staying consistent (discipline)

2023 reset guide

Glow up

2023 vision board. Visualize your dream 2023 and write down your goals!

Daily Hot girl walks. No excuses, babes; let's get moving!

Reflecting on 2022. Look back at what you've accomplished and what you could have done differently.

Make a Bucketlist. Write down places you want to visit and things you want to do.

Extended self-care. Take some time to yourself to recover from the stressful holidays and get back on track. <3

Buy a good SPF. Do some research and find something that works for you!

Start Investing in yourself. Money, time, and energy. Put yourself first!

Annual check-ups. Make a dentist appointment, go to the optometrist etc...

Buy a Silk pillowcase. Protect your skin and hair!

Set clear boundaries. And make sure that people respect them!

Less screen time. Self-explanatory.

Manicure, lash lift, haircut. High maintenance to be low maintenance! ;)

Wellness

Daily vitamins. Visit a doctor to discuss which ones you should be taking for the best results.

Morning stretches. Wake up your body and drink some water!

Skin/hair care. It's time to find products that actually work for you.

Reading more literature. Set yourself a daily reading goal.

Planned grocery lists. Make a grocery list that aligns with your dietary needs and goals to make shopping less stressful. <3

Less coffee. Especially if you struggle with anxiety!!

More greens and protein. Let's give our body what it needs.

Journaling. Truly helps with overthinking!!

8 hours of sleep. Beauty sleep. <3

Cooking for yourself. Such a cute form of daily self-care.

Yoga. Or just any low-impact exercises in general.

Deep cleaning

Organizing your closet. Only keep things that make you feel beautiful.

Budgeting. Check your bank account and plan ahead.

Clean your hairbrushes. Trust me...

Donating clothes. Donate the items that you don't wear anymore.

Clean your make-up brushes. The first step to clear skin!!

Fresh sheets. Wash your pillows too.

Charge your electronics. IPad, Mac, Camera etc...

Get rid of expired make-up and skincare. Step 2 to clear skin, lol.

Declutter stationary. No need to keep dried-out pens.

Delete old emails. I currently have 1840...

Delete unnecessary apps. Anything you don't need.

Clean your camera roll. Making some space for new memories! :)

Cut out toxic people. <3

Mindset

Pretty, smart, kind, and prioritising myself.

Positive affirmations!!

Your daily habits play a huge role in your mood/life. Be mindful, and take care of yourself.

It's okay to outgrow people!!

Decide what kind of life you actually want and start saying no to everything that won't get you there.

"I'm attracting opportunities that align with my dream life."

A girl who will do big things can't let small things bother her.

Honestly, reinvent yourself over and over again until you are satisfied with who you are.

Do you want to be comfortable, or do you want to grow?

"Am I doing this for me, or am I performing for others?"

very high standards. VERY HIGH STANDARDS.

Be obsessed with yourself.

2022 has been such a life-changing year for me, not only personally but also regarding my social media! As I already said on Twitter, I'm incredibly grateful for this little community that has formed this year, and I'm excited for all the things that lay ahead of us! I wish everyone a successful 2023 with many beautiful moments and lots of growth!!

✩‧₊*:・love ya ･:*₊‧✩

Hayao Miyazaki

Don't fall for the lie of "doing everything in moderation", following that line of thought will never lead you to achieve anything exceptional. Some things you simply do not do, because you prioritize your end goal and vision above quick pleasures that are counterproductive to your growth as person and we'll being. Don't let anyone shame for being "extreme" in areas you refuse to compromise on, extreme people produce extreme results.

being taken seriously

when it comes to debating or professional settings, if you want to be perceived as more put together, then heres my advice :)

mannerisms:

have good posture!

maintain good hygeine

look clean and put together

always have fresh breath and clean teeth

having a good scent to you always helps

make eye contact with people

speak in a clear tone

don’t raise your voice, be able to speak calmly (i’m talking about when you debate with people, yelling is just kinda rude and makes other people scared lol, also doesn’t look mature)

work on not interupting people, let other people talk!

walk with your head up high! this goes with posture, walk like you have a crown on your head :)

take care of yourself and work to better yourself

attitude:

educate yourself

be open minded

be self-aware about your short comings

know when to keep your mouth shut and when to not engage in conflict

stay out of drama

don’t let other people bring you down

always act confident

eliminate self-depricating humor

remember- bringing other people down is insecure behavior!

show respect and manners to other people

be kind to other people, give them compliments, smile

be open to other points of view, really listen to other people and reflect