Latest Posts by marchesaofthemountains - Page 5
how to balance work and personal life???
Plan your days & week around your energy peaks: Figure out the times of the day when you're most focused, productive, creative, fidgety, sleepy, etc., and structure your days/weeks/month around your internal clock to the best of your ability. While this may be slightly difficult if you have a 9-5 or go to school during the day, think about what blocks of time are best dedicated to meetings, creative work, planning, routine tasks, emails, studying, etc. For those with uteruses, consider your energy throughout your cycle to help you plan the month.
Create "bookend" routines: While these will often be your morning and nighttime routines, consider how you prime and unwind your mind from your biggest tasks of the day (for most of us, this will be work, school, and chores on the weekends). Some reading, light movement, and upbeat music can create momentum before starting your daily tasks. A long walk and some journaling are a simple yet productive combination to decompress from the day.
Embrace the power of 3s: Create a daily primer routine, workday, and relaxation routine around 3 core tasks/projects/rituals. For example: Mornings can include using your 5-Minute Journal, doing a quick 10-minute meditation/yoga/dancing session to get in some movement, and spending 10 minutes reading; Your workday should be focused on completing your "Big Three" tasks, projects, or meetings of the day; Evenings can include a quick 5-10 minute planning session for the next day, a 15-60 minute walk or workout (depending on how you're feeling), and some journaling/reading time after dinner. You don't need to do it all. Consistency is key.
Make A Life Admin Schedule (and Stick To It): Choose days (and times if possible) of the week to update certain spreadsheets, batch reply to less urgent messages, clean your house, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. Scheduling these tasks ahead of time eliminates half of the battle for following through on what you need to do. Eventually, you will make these tasks into habitual routines that your brain will allow you to execute effortlessly as though you're in autopilot mode.
Focus on systems, not habits: Consider the domino effect of each practice and activity. Determine whether your current strategies and routines align with your energy, goals, and desired outcomes. Reflect on the parts of your routine that increase/decrease your energy and motivation. See how you can create a system – a pattern of consistently-practiced habits – that supports your goals and desired lifestyle that does not compromise your overall life satisfaction and well-being.
Set Boundaries: Understand your expectations, non-negotiables, and limits in every area of your life. Communicate these principles to others clearly, so they know when they are overstepping. Don't tolerate disrespect, but also don't expect others to be mind-readers. If someone knows that they're crossing your boundaries, it is easy to draw the line in the sand and walk away without the guilt or shame that can arise when conflicts originate from a lack of healthy communication.
Incorporate One Creative Practice Into Your Week: Reinvigorate your mind by engaging in at least one hour of creative activity per week. Try drawing, creative writing, poetry, singing, dancing, painting, pottery, jewelry making, graphic design, photography, etc. Even taking a foreign language course or creating a Pinterest inspiration/mood board or organizing your home/closets in an aesthetically-pleasing way counts. Figure out what creative outlet(s) you find satisfying. Prioritize scheduling this practice into your schedule weekly.
Give Yourself A Weekly "Treat": Find a healthy indulgence that you can strategically incorporate into your week. This "treat" can be a massage or nail appointment, permission to watch a movie or a couple episodes of a TV show, a serving of your favorite dessert or a glass of wine, etc. Life is meant to be enjoyed. Consider regular indulgence as an act of self-care not as a sign of weakness or self-destruction. Embracing pleasure does not require guilt or external permission.
Experiment until you find an achievable balance: Focus on progress, not perfection. While there may be days or even seasons where hard work and fewer pleasures take priority, life is meant to bring you joy, peace, and satisfaction at the end of the day. Remaining in your comfort zone does you no good. However, learning ways to find pleasure in the process remains the key to long-lasting discipline and the energy necessary to maintain the determination required for success.
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Learn To Love Yourself & Heal From Toxic People
Allow yourself to feel all your emotions and thoughts, authentically and without self-criticism or judgment: Acknowledge that you're grieving. Accept that you need to mourn your loss. Even if it is better to move on in life without these people, it is healthy and completely valid to grieve the relationships you had with these people – regardless of whether they were one-sided, deluded, or otherwise toxic. Allow yourself to cry, be angry, lie in bed, etc. Hit a pillow, sleep in all day on a weekend, or wear a set of pajamas for a WFH day. Give yourself permission to engage in self-soothing behaviors without any type of self-harm or self-sabotage.
Rest, relax, and pamper yourself in your leisure time: Spend time taking it easy – reading, watching TV, doing a face mask or another indulgent skin treatment, using a body massager, cooking dinner in a silk robe and slippers, lighting a candle, cozying up in a blanket, etc. Allow yourself to feel at peace. Create a sanctuary in your space.
Take time for introspection and self-discovery: Being in any type of relationship with toxic people is draining and can cause you to feel as though you've lost a part of yourself by trying to make the relationship succeed. Now, it's time to reclaim yourself after you've courageously cut out these toxic people from your life. Consider and honor your deepest desires, values, interests, hobbies, lifestyle, goals, aesthetic, food, sexual, entertainment preferences, etc. Go on a self-discovery journey to figure out who you really are, what you believe, and who you will work to become as you enter this new, exciting chapter of your life.
Journal, read, eat healthily, work out, drink plenty of water, and sleep: Go back to the basic healthy habits. Try to journal for at least 5-10 minutes a day (using a 5-minute journal, morning pages [writing 3 pages of stream-of-conscious thoughts first thing in the morning], journal or shadow work prompts), make 2-3 whole food, plant-based meals with carbs, veggies, fruits, proteins, and healthy fats, find some ways to incorporate movement into your day – 30-minute walk or yoga session is enough if that's all you can manage consistently, have your body weight in ounces of water daily, and sleep for around 7-8 hours a night. Do some inner child healing by taking care of your core needs.
Indulge in all of your favorites: There's a lot of fun you can have when you have total freedom regarding your daily activities and choices. Give yourself permission to enjoy this solitude. Wear your favorite outfits every day (occasion-appropriate options, of course), including pajamas, loungewear, lingerie, and accessories. Make your favorite meals and snacks throughout the week (incorporating some healthy options in there to feel your best – I love a good oatmeal bowl, frozen grapes, baked Japanese sweet potato, or a hummus and vegetable plate). Watch your favorite TV shows or movies. Indulge in a glass of wine you love or reread a favorite book. Create a masterful playlist. Plan a day of your favorite activities (a long walk, getting a coffee, indulging in a spa day, going to a farmer's market, going to a yoga class, etc.) Treat yourself like your own best friend.
Get comfortable doing things alone: Honestly, no one cares or is paying attention to if you're doing activities alone or with someone else. If someone shows too much interest in your solitude, they're probably projecting their own insecurities regarding their perceived social ridicule. Take yourself shopping, to the nail salon, out for a meal, to the movies, etc. alone. Personally, I love doing most of these things alone anyways. Running errands alone gives you some space to clear your mind and think freely.
Define what an ideal social life and/or relationship looks like for you: Once you've become comfortable with yourself and living life on your own terms, it's time to embrace your desire for human connection and socialization. Consider the types of people you want in your life – their values, personalities, interests, goals, favorite activities, relational boundaries, etc., and where/when/how often you want to interact with them.
Create an action plan: Reconnect with the people in your life who continue to show up for you and have been a light through these toxic relationships and their lasting effects over the months or years. Decide on the places, groups, and ways you'll reach out/try to meet these people. Figure out how to expand your network, and make new connections. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. You won't vibe with everyone you meet, but it is worthwhile to engage in small talk with several strangers if even one of these new faces, later on, becomes a good friend or acquaintance. A varied social circle is a great way to enrich your life.
Take small steps, then strides: Be gentle on yourself throughout this entire process. It is perfectly okay to take one day at a time during the grieving process. Everyone's healing journey will look different and evolve at a different pace. Don't let these toxic people remain in your heart, mind, and spirit. Remember that you deserve love, kindness, happiness, success, peace, and patience.
Post+ Subscriber Master List is Up!
Available in my Pinned Post & below xx
Post + Masterlist:
Building Your Cult of Personality Part I: Style & Self-Presentation
Build Your Cult Personality Part II: Self-Presentation & The Art of Engaging Conversation
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Build Your Personal Brand & Self Concept
Femme Fatale Journal Prompts: Questions For Self-Reflection & Growth in 2023
Femme Fatale Secrets: How To Master Your Shadow Self & Embrace Your Dark Feminine Energy (Journal Prompts)
Femme Fatale Playbook: A Beginner's Guide to Dating
Femme Fatale Guide: How To Embrace Your Sexuality
Femme Fatale Guide: Habits To Feel More Seductive In Your Daily Life
Femme Fatale Guide: Journal Prompts & Practical Tips To Heal Your Relationship with Food
Femme Fatale Guide: Spring/Summer Capsule Wardrobe Staples Every Woman Needs
Femme Fatale Playbook: Questions To Discover Your Wardrobe Essentials
Femme Fatale Guide: Realistic Tips & Tricks to Become "That Girl"
Some alternatives to having an entire day before 9am that allow you to enjoy your life and help you find pleasure in reaching your goals. Enjoy xx
Focus on a consistent sleep schedule, not select times: Structure your day around your energy, not an idealized schedule is guaranteed to not work for everyone. Wake up at 6-7 am, if you're a true early riser, and head to the gym to get your day started. Otherwise, there's no reason why waking up at 8-9am and getting in an evening-time workout session is lesser than.
Plan your days & week around your energy peaks: Figure out the times of the day when you're most focused, productive, creative, fidgety, sleepy, etc., and structure your days/weeks/month around your internal clock to the best of your ability. While this may be slightly difficult if you have a 9-5 or go to school during the day, think about what blocks of time are best dedicated to meetings, creative work, planning, routine tasks, emails, studying, etc. For those with uteruses, consider your energy throughout your cycle to help you plan the month.
Create "bookend" routines: While these will often be your morning and nighttime routines, consider how you prime and unwind your mind from your biggest tasks of the day (for most of us, this will be work, school, and chores on the weekends). Some reading, light movement, and upbeat music can create momentum before starting your daily tasks. A long walk and some journaling are a simple yet productive combination to decompress from the day.
Embrace the power of 3s: Create a daily primer routine, workday, and relaxation routine around 3 core tasks/projects/rituals. For example: Mornings can include using your 5-Minute Journal, doing a quick 10-minute meditation/yoga/dancing session to get in some movement, and spending 10 minutes reading; Your workday should be focused on completing your "Big Three" tasks, projects, or meetings of the day; Evenings can include a quick 5-10 minute planning session for the next day, a 15-60 minute walk or workout (depending on how you're feeling), and some journaling/reading time after dinner. You don't need to do it all. Consistency is key.
Create a "pleasure" and "pain" list. Own your inner masochist: Open up a fresh journal page or web document. Create two separate lists titled "Pleasure" and "Pain." The first list captures all of the simple pleasures that make your days enjoyable (from coffee rituals and your skincare routine to small work successes, daily movement, and indulgent evening treats, like a favorite TV show, a glass of wine, tea, etc.). The second list captures the tasks you regularly dread or procrastinate out of hatred and overwhelm (includes tedious or mentally-draining work tasks, meetings, chores, difficult workout sessions, necessary conversations with emotionally immature people, etc.). Looking over these two lists gives you an overview of your daily experience to help you (realistically) optimize your day for more ease and enjoyment.
Incorporate a pleasurable element into every ritual: Find ways to pair these more "painful" activities with something pleasurable. Examples include having a favorite coffee or tea while working on a draining work project, listening to a fun playlist, taking a walk/doing a face mask or massage while having a less enjoyable conversation, etc.)
Leverage habit stacking: Build habits on top of one another to set yourself up for success. Use a nearly mindless or enjoyable "cue" to spark action that results in habit formation. For example, use sipping your morning coffee as a cue to read your 10 daily pages or do some journaling. Leave your workout clothes out beside your bed with your yoga mat all laid out to make it stupidly easy to get your workout done right away. Have a playlist curated and opened to let you press "start" immediately when you need to begin your work day.
Create a capsule menu/wardrobe: Streamline your everyday meals and outfits by curating a handful of healthy breakfasts/lunches/dinners/snacks and outfits that you can put together mindlessly throughout the week. While creativity in these areas is fun, pre-determined options for busy days can help minimize decision fatigue. Know what staple groceries you need in your kitchen to make these recipes, and ensure to keep them in stock when going on your weekly grocery run. Have a few go-to outfits for work, running errands, working out, and social outings. Choose 5-10 well-fitting wardrobe staples that pair well together in the front of your closet at all times.
Become a playlist master: Curate different playlists for particular tasks, activities, and times of the day. Having playlists for creative/admin work tasks, reading, working out, cleaning, waking up, and winding down for the day can give you the energy to focus and not procrastinate or simply enjoy a necessary task more.
Focus on systems, not habits: Consider the domino effect of each practice and activity. Determine whether your current strategies and routines align with your energy, goals, and desired outcomes. Reflect on the parts of your routine that increase/decrease your energy and motivation. See how you can create a system – a pattern of consistently-practiced habits – that supports your goals and desired lifestyle that does not compromise your overall life satisfaction and well-being.
Experiment until you find an achievable balance: Focus on progress, not perfection. While there may be days or even seasons where hard work and fewer pleasures take priority, life is meant to bring you joy, peace, and satisfaction at the end of the day. Remaining in your comfort zone does you no good. However, learning ways to find pleasure in the process remains the key to long-lasting discipline and the energy necessary to maintain the determination required for success.
Sending you healthy and prosperous vibes xx
Femme Fatale Playbook: Ways To Get Your Life Together During A Rest Season
Reading a diverse array of books, articles, and essays on different topics and skills that interest you
Take a language, art, cooking, or professional skills-building course (like coding, graphic design, social media, etc.)
Take long walks and try out different workouts/workout programs
Get creative in the kitchen, try out new recipes and meal ideas
Create fun mood boards, playlists, etc. Refine your signature style, preferences, and aesthetic
Watch interesting movies, films, YouTube videos, and listen to different podcasts
Journal, write, draw, dance
Streamline your wardrobe, makeup, and beauty routines. Do a closet clean out, or rearrange your home decor. Experiment with makeup, hairstyles, nail designs
Get organized. Clean up your space, hygiene, and digital environments (phone, laptop, iPad, etc.)
Take time for self-reflection: Get to know yourself, your values, what you want out of life, what & who gives you energy, and those places or people that drain you
Have you shown respect to your home today? Clean up. Put things away. Wash what is dirty and fix what is damaged. Show appreciation to the things that have made your life easier and kept you comfortable by making sure that they remain in good condition for a long time.
Have you shown respect to your body today? Bathe yourself. Do your hair. Drink plenty of water and eat nutritious meals. Get some fresh air, do some exercise, and don’t partake in anything that is self-harming. Your body has kept you alive and strong for all of these years and carried you through many situations, both happy and sad. Keep it healthy and functioning.
Have you shown respect to your brain today? Think positive things. Watch productive media. Do not entertain malicious thoughts. Make an effort to learn something new and feed your brain cool information on whatever interests you. Try to sleep at a good time tonight. Your brain health is so important to your entire being. Take good care of it.
horse back riding lessons, piano lessons, french/spanish/japanese lessons, regular work out routine, every day runs, screen time below three or four hours, longer reading lists, longer pre and post shower rituals, a morning routine, a night routine to breathe and wind down...
... a closet full of good quality staples, putting effort into my appearance (skin, hair, diet) every day, reaching out to my family atleast once a day, taking time to express my gratitude. putting time aside to write to myself and talk to myself. remaining calm, taking longer breaths, staying patient... reminding myself that i deserve it. i deserve the love, understanding, success, and extraordinary life-changing events that are coming for me.
sophisticate.
Back in March, I went out for drinks with some colleagues from my vanilla job. A couple rounds in, one of them confessed to me that she’d wanted so badly to hate me when we first met, because I was beautiful, confident, put together, and always seemed to get what I wanted. But she got to know me- my personality, kindness, and work ethic- and realized that no matter how badly she wanted to hate me, she couldn’t.
Babes, this is the way to live your life. Be so gorgeous, poised, self assured, and successful that the people around you- especially women- want to hate you. Be so kind, funny, charming, clever, and hardworking that they can’t possibly bring themselves to do it.
My fridge is filled with champagne, organic produce, green tea, and leftovers from upscale restaurants.
My shelves are filled with sensual perfumes, expensive skincare, and books on strategy, theory, and psychology.
My closet is filled with designer clothes, luxurious handbags and luggage, and sumptuous lingerie.
My bank account is filled with enough money for all my needs and desires.
My head is filled with goals, ambitions, and dreams for the future.
Your home is an extension of your energy field. That’s why habits such as cleaning your home, getting rid of unnecessary clutter, opening all the windows and keeping your environment positive can have an impact on our mind, body and spirit. Take care of your safe space.
There is no such thing as a future you. Time is not real. Stop dreaming and just show up. Don’t make things complicated. ❤️
How to Get (and Keep) Your Life Together 101
Here’s a quick masterlist of all the tips, hacks and advice that stuck with me from reading so many articles, videos and research. Feel free to ask me any questions, or add tips of your own. 💜
Hydration: Make sure every day you stay hydrated by drinking plenty of water, green tea, black tea. You see this everywhere but it’s true. Just drinking water wil do wonders for your skin and your overall body health.
Nutrition: Maintain a healthy diet by letting go of toxic “restrictive” diet culture and realizing that food is sacred fuel for your sacred body, so offer your body the best! Eat lots of vegetables, fruits, nuts and seeds; lots of wholefoods. Incorporate smoothies into your mornings for extra dose of vitamins. Practice mindful, conscious eating, be there in the moment when you are eating, taste the food, enjoy the experience of it. Meditate over your relationship with food and try to work through any unhealthy beliefs.
Exercise: Pick one or multiple forms of exercise that suits your schedule, lifestyle and personality; whether it’s jogging twice a week, going to the gym daily or even just a fresh walk every evening. Pick what is suitable for YOU and keep it part of your life. DYI your own gym routine or hire a trainer; train at home or in the gym; whatever works best for you.
Growth Mindset: Maintain a positive mindset that is always open and curious to learning new things, trying new skills and ever willing to improve itself. Redirect your attention from drama, gossip and toxic comparison beliefs to healthy ones; unfollow accounts online or delete all your social media if that’s what you need. Recreate yourself if that’s what you want. Focus on YOUR growth! Make a habit of reading new books, watching TedTalks, documentaries, etc. Look at educating yourself as a way to invest in yourself, a way to honor yourself. Maintain curiosity in your heart for the ways of the universe. Stay humble and graceful in the face of adversity, but never give up on your dreams, failed attempts are only lessons for improvement and the only true failure is giving up. As long as you keep going you’re still winning. Bonus tip: comparison is self harm, and a denial of your own power; so remember that nobody can be you and that’s a good thing. You can only be you, so make it count and honor yourself!
Relationships: Don’t cling to relationships and don’t be afraid to lose people. Be your authentic self at all times, and do not be afraid to intimidate people or be too much! Those that matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter. Know that the friends/partners that are meant for you, will stay or will find their way back to you. Be mindful of the dynamic in a relationship, and be self-loving enough to walk away from what is toxic, unhealthy, restrictive, disrespectful, etc. Forgive those that wronged you, but tolerate no mistreatment; you can forgive them from afar, but make sure they’re no longer a part of your life.
Focus & Goals: Keep a journal and as frequently as you can, write down bullet lists of to do lists, goals, dreams, daily reflections, aspects of yourself to improve upon, positive affirmations, wishlist etc. - in other words, brainstorm all the things whirling around in your head regarding your own life. Remember all those things you’ve wanted to do? Bucketlists, reminders, curiosities, etc? Keeping a journal, staying focused on your goals, checking progress and practicing positive affirmations will transform your life.
Fashion: Elevate your wardrobe to a whole other level by sitting down and figuring out what your style actually is. Play around in your journal by creating a collage of your favorite colors, textures, patterns, styles, outfit combos and accessories. Mix and match, figure out what your aesthetic is. Refine, polish, remove what doesn’t click. (You can find a bunch of videos on YT for organizing clothes and being effortlessly fashionable/put together.) When you reorganize your wardrobe according to the above, you can easily mix and match anything because your wardrobe makes sense and it’s already planned out. Bonus tip: do your laundry the same day every week (ie. Saturday) and do a wardrobe prep on Sundays for the upcoming week; so that at any moment you can be ready in five minutes looking perfectly polished, and avoid the whole ordeal of being stressed/rushed and not knowing what to wear.
Skincare and haircare: Golden advice - invest in natural products/oils/ingredients instead of investing in brands. Why? Because otherwise you’re paying for a concept instead of actual health benefits for your body. Try natural soaps, oils (shea butter, coconut oil, argan, avocado, jojoba, rosehip, etc), and water extracts (rosewater, hazelwater) for toner. Coconut oil and argan oil is particularly famed for hairgrowth and shine. Castor oil as well helps hairgrowth, including for brows or lashes. Rosehip and shea heal discolorations, scars and marks. Do your research and try out what fits you, your skin will thank you later. I’ve been using natural products & oils for 9+ years and people always compliment how clear, smooth & glowy my skin is. Bonus tip: if you don’t use sunscreen already, try to incorporate it into your routine; just make sure it has gentle, non-harmful ingredients (for both yourself and the environment.
Etiquette, manners, poise, posture: Watch videos, read books or listen to audiobooks about confidence, proper etiquette, leadership skills, how to make people listen when you speak, etc. There are things which are so intuitive, obvious and logical, and yet simply becoming aware of them and having the science of it explained will transform your perspective (and the way you carry yourself).
Finances: Perform a monthly financial review to make sure you know where you are, what your budget is. Make a plan for backup funds, or savings for travels, or new tattoos, or a house, or whatever you want. It doesn’t have to be complicated, you can keep things simple by listing your expenses in five categories (Necessities, groceries, luxury, savings, free/remaining funds). Keep track of your expenses or habits, there are even apps that show statistics or analysis for easy use. The point here is to stay on top of your own finances: know how much are the monthly necessities (rent/mortgage/etc), know what has been payed and keeping receipts, knowing when things need to be paid, etc.
Integrity: This means knowing yourself, having standards, knowing what your boundaries are, what you are willing and not willing to do. When you know yourself and know your worth, you won’t ever tolerate or accept anything less. Know what your principles, values, beliefs are and hold them firmly because it is what you stand for. At the same time, it is important to keep an open mind to growth and improvement, but not so much that any persuasive argument will change your mind. Hold your own, but be gracious to other perspectives. And through it all remember - only you know what’s right for you, what’s best for you. Literally nobody else but you can know what’s in your best interest!
Efficiency & Improvement: This ties in with growth mindset but in a more practical way; make sure that you’re always leaving open space for improvement in your life, don’t ever just settle down/get stuck/let yourself sink into complacency. Know that you can always change anything! Make a habit of frequently reviewing aspects of your life (ex. via journaling) to see whether there’s anything you can make more easy, more efficient. Instead of spending hours grocery shopping, check out shops online where your favorite products can be home delivered in a snap. Instead of driving to a vet for your pet, have a call in. Setting up recurring payments for finances also counts. Literally any process or activity whereby you can automatize a service, delivery, payment, etc. will help you in the long run, so you can focus more on enjoying life, instead of wasting time with Trivial Adult Things.
Please ladies listen!! Educate yourself as much as you can, we have the internet and can learn virtually anything for FREE. Enjoy yourself of course but stop wasting time. Study if your in school and learn as much as you can, if your not in school still educate yourself, learn new vocabulary, learn facts, learn about plants/animals or history/science. Even learning stuff like sewing or making certain things will help etc. Being educated will help you so much in life and will overall your motive your quality of life. Educate yourself and then share all your knowledge with your kids if you have them in the future.
i think more women should develop signatures. signature scents, signature colors, signature looks, signature cars, signature phrases, signature words. just my personal belief ladies…
Always wear your cutest outfit. Stop saving so many looks for “special occasions”. You showing up is a special occasion. Look your best.
don't spend all day neglecting the things that matter most in favor of mindless activities. the grades you want, the skills you desire, the job you'd kill for, the body you want, the beauty routine that would change everything, the books you want to read, the life you want to live is so much more important. years will go by and you'll look up, barely being able to remember specific things you wasted time on but you will certainly be able to name everything you missed out on with ease. all that time wasted with nothing to show for it. don't do it to yourself. prioritize the good life you want and never let it play second fiddle to all of the distractions.
I saw an article called “Make Peace With Your Unlived Life” and it really made me stop and think. So much of our lives is mourning for what we didn’t become. It’s a waste. We didn’t waste any opportunities. What came and went was not meant for us.
I’ll never understand people who tell everyone ALL of their business and then get shocked when people become so invasive. STOP TELLING PEOPLE YOUR BUSINESS AND SHUT UP! Literally, people need to understand the power of privacy and not telling every single person your next move.
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
1. BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD: Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
2. DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.
3. DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS: Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
4. ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST: Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
My Self Love & Acceptance Tips🤍
Every day isn’t easy, remember that self love isn’t an overnight thing. It takes time, and work. Be patient with yourself, and go with the flow learning about who you are. Your time will come to flourish and be your best self, every journey goes at a different pace. And remember that self love has a different meaning for everyone, what works for some, may not work for others.
Your Self Image
It all starts with how you view your own self, and value your own worth. Because when you start to love yourself, and value who you are, your whole life changes. Such as the people around you, your mentality, your appearance, your successes, etc. So change the way you think, and talk about yourself into a more positive tone. Avoid doubts, or toxic self talk.
Deep Inner Work.
Shadow work is highly important. We get to know ourselves on a deeper level, and learn about what we need to do to become high vibrational beings. It’s important to work on the deeper layers of our minds, where we hide all unresolved fears, blockages, wounds, and traumas. Shadow work is important for our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual health.
Explore what is holding you back.
Having low self esteem is often the result of false and unrealistic thoughts that are deeply within our minds. Such as assumptions, beliefs, comparisons, doubts, expectations towards ourselves and others. Learn about what is holding you back, and what needs to be done in order to break the bad habits/behaviours. Dissociate yourself from everything, and anyone that brings these emotions forward.
Be comfortable in your own solitude.
Every day make time for yourself to rewind, relax and reflect alone. Being alone gives us time to think, work out problems, reflect on our goals, express gratitude for our gifts and blessings, and helps us listen to ourselves, and what we need. It builds independence. And you’re also less likely to accept bad behaviours from others, because you’re very much aware of who you are and what you want.
Trust your intuition.
Trusting your intuition will help you live a life true to yourself and your deepest needs, being aware of your surroundings, emotions and intentions from others. Be aware of how you’re feeling around certain people, and situations. Take these feelings into consideration, as it’s your subconscious trying to tell you something.
Set boundaries
Setting boundaries is highly important. It shows others how you view yourself, and how they should treat you. Don’t be afraid to say “no” more often, and set boundaries. If something is going to make you unhappy or uncomfortable, say no. If you simply don’t have the energy for something, say no. If you want to say no, say no! And cut ties with those who make your life unecessarily stressful. Think about what your values are, what you believe in and what you’d like out of others. This also applies to yourself, make sure you’re setting limitations on what isn’t good for you from you!
Explore your passions.
What gives you motivation? What fills you with pure joy? When we tend to forget about our needs, and push them to the side, we often lose sight of what truly makes us happy in life. So make time for your hobbies, and passions. Do whatever makes you happy, and awakens your inner child.
Reduce your stress levels.
It’s been proven that stress contributes to so many health issues, so it’s important to learn how to reduce, and deal with it when it happens. You can do so in so many ways by reducing your expectations for yourself, and others, healthy routines, good diet, working on how we view ourselves, and so much more.
Accept your flaws, celebrate your strengths.
We are all imperfectly perfect. Everyone has something that they’re amazing at, and not so good at. It’s normal, it’s human nature. It doesn’t make you any less of a person for having flaws, it’s what makes you uniquely and beautifully you. Instead of focusing too much at what you’re not good at, bring your attention to your strengths and how you can become the best version of yourself.
Stop comparing.
Comparison is a killer to your self esteem. When we invest our time watching what others are doing, and how they look, it’s time wasted that we could invest in ourselves. Spend energy nourishing and building your path. Remove anything that makes it harder for you, whether it’s social media, a friendship with someone, etc. “We don’t grow green grass by focusing on our neighbor’s garden, we do it nurturing our own.”
Stop seeking validation.
The need for approval kills your freedom. Strengthen your self acceptance, so that you feel strong enough to go with what feels right for you, and not what others are saying. Our life was made for us to live however way we think is right, and living for others leads you to a path of pure unhappiness. Figure out why the need of approval from others is so important to you, where does it come from? Is it something that you haven’t healed from? Learn how you can change these habits, and live freely on your own decisions and acceptance.
Create healthy habits/routines.
Start truly caring for yourself. Create habits that are healthy, mentally and emotionally. Be intentional about what you put into your body, not because you want to look good but because you want to feel good. Feeding your body nutrient rich foods will have you feeling your absolute best. Have a self care day once a week. Create more self love + care rituals. Upkeep your beauty maintenance. Dress your best. Work out more often, something as simple as walking every day. Have organized morning and night routines that make life easier for you. Do whatever it is that’s important for your well being, and what will make you feel more confident, and happy.
Own a journal.
Keep a journal to store all your thoughts, emotions, and capture your life journey in writing. It’s a great way to keep yourself in check, and look back at how far you’ve come. Give yourself goals to accomplish, and what you need to do in order to reach them. Create lists about what is great about you, what you need to work on, and what you need to let go of.
Do more of what you’re good at.
Spending more time doing hobbies you're good at will not only boost your endorphins, but will also boost your self esteem. Do more of whatever brings you to your happy place!
Protect your inner peace, vibration and energy.
The less likely you are to react towards others, the more at peace and powerful you’ll be. Teach yourself to be so calm, and safe within yourself. That no one and nothing can take away your peace. Understand that anyone that chooses to be negative towards you without good reasoning, are only projecting their own problems, and insecurities onto you. Remember that our energy will effect how we feel towards ourself, so choose wisely on what you give importance to.
Be more grounded.
Being grounded means you feel at home with yourself. You are present and at peace. You’re less worried about past moments, or the future. You’re more grateful of everything around you. You feel overall happier, and radiant.
Sorry if you have already answered but do you have any ideas about how to develop intuition? Thank you so much
I haven’t!
Meditating every day - this will help you clear your mind of distractions and teach you how to better recognize the emotions you’re feeling, and why you’re feeling them. And overall being very in tune, and aware of who you are. Mindfulness techniques are also really helpful as it helps by being present, and mindful of our surroundings.
Practice using your senses daily - such as your sight, sound, smell, taste and touch. You can do this by spending more time in nature, sitting down somewhere peaceful and just be.
Learn how your intuition speaks to you - your intuition may speak to you in physical/emotional sensations, such as goose bumps, a anxious or uneasy feeling, or even a bad taste in your mouth when you’re being guided towards something that isn’t right. Or can be feelings of excitement, relief or overall peace when you’re being guided down the right path. Also can be communicated through mental pictures, and even your dreams. Also pay close attention to how your energy levels are around certain places, and people.
Be more present - focusing only on the present is the best action you can do for yourself, and your intuition. Focusing too much on things that have happened in the past, brings up unnecessary negative emotions and delays your process on moving forward. Only focus on things that you can control. As this helps you to be in a happy, and positive mindset, which can help you to develop your intuition.
Trust yourself - trusting your intuition is all about trusting yourself, and the more trust you have with yourself, the more successful you’ll be with your intuition.
Learn how to distinguish the difference between your fears and intuition - sometimes we tend to follow with our fears, and this is what holds us back. Think about what it is you’re fearful of, write it down if it helps and how you can make yourself feel more at ease.
Keep a journal - write down any moments you’ve had when your intuition was correct, or not. Keep track of any sensations associated with your intuition. This helps you reflect on what were the signs prior, and how your subconscious communicates.
Ask yourself questions -“How do I feel about this decision?” “How does this person or situation make me feel?” And notice the first answer that comes to your mind.
Build self awareness - self awareness is the power to be aware of your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours, and how they effect you. The more aware we are of how we feel deep inside, the easier it will be to identify our intuition and what it’s trying to tell us.
I really can’t with these ‘femininity guide’ posts that want to have women behaving like they just time-travelled from 1955. Getting in touch with your divine feminine is fundamentally about authenticity, not performance. Marilyn Monroe, Rihanna, Meghan Markle, Monica Bellucci, Dita Von Teese, Saweetie, and Amal Clooney are markedly different types of women but they are all rightfully considered feminine.
If the vintage, old Hollywood vibe is authentic to you, then by all means, please embrace it. But if that is just not who you are, you will end up performing for the rest of your life. The unifying factor that makes all the aforementioned women attractive is their confidence. They carry themselves with an air of grace and self-assuredness that is irresistible and undeniably feminine. Obviously take care of your appearance, move with grace, and practice etiquette, but don’t put on a costume. You won’t be able to keep up the act forever, and people will eventually see right through it.
Here are my personal tips for cultivating divine feminine energy:
Practice following your intuition. Our patriarchal society places a huge premium on logic but it is very healthy and necessary to honor your emotions. Check in with yourself to gauge how you’re feeling in different situations. This makes it easier to set healthy boundaries and choose what is right for you.
Connect more deeply with your body. For me, this looks like yoga, breath work, and dry brushing. Practice listening to your body and honor what it tells you.
Practice self-inquiry. Interrogate your assumptions. Ask yourself why you have certain reactions to things. Engage with your shadow self, don’t run away from it.
Cultivate openness, compassion, love, and gentleness towards the world and yourself.
Explore your sensuality. Make it a point to appreciate and celebrate beauty in your life. Surround yourself with aesthetically pleasing things and enjoy sensual pleasures.
Explore your sexuality. Female sexuality is often policed which leads to sexual hang ups that need to be overcome. Interrogate and heal hypersexuality as well as hyposexuality. Get to know yourself intimately. I took burlesque and pole dancing classes to learn how to tap into the more sexual part of me.
Create ritual and sacred space. My nighttime routine is very important to me. I do my skincare, haircare, and bodycare, pray, and just get in touch with myself. Carve out some time in your day to do the same, whatever it looks like for you.
To put it simply, getting in touch with your femininity should be a spiritual practice. I’m happy to elaborate if anyone has questions.
Elise Crombez photographed by Javier Vallhonrat for Vogue, June 2008
Elegance is about simplicity and timelessness. It is about being unapologetically authentic, with no concern to following any trends or social conventions of beauty. It is about carrying yourself with confidence regardless of what you are wearing or how you look; it’s not about possessions or material wealth. It’s the grace of one’s heart, a lovely poise, and integrity. It does not seek to boast or demand attention to itself, because it knows its own high value.
why are you repeating a pattern you want no part in? remember who you are.
How to Feign Your Life is Together
Have a signature accessory, clothing article, make up look, or hair style.
Have a fragrance. Make your hair scents and lotions match your perfume.
It’s okay to dine alone. Bring a book or people watch.
Love your hair. Research the best brands for your hair type and use masks weekly.
Your nails don’t need to be fancy, but keep them maintained.
Stay worldly. Know works of art, artists, designers, films, books, politicians. Spend your lunch break reading the paper or a magazine.
Crying is not a weapon. It’s okay to feel your emotions, but never use them as an excuse to avoid your problems.
Jealousy is boring. Love and appreciate others. If you can’t love them, forget them.
Boost others. Flatter others, but don’t deprecate yourself in the process.
Don’t sulk. Don’t let the whole world know your problems. If you don’t want someone to give their opinion, don’t share your situation.
Your life is between you and the universe. Don’t post your personal matters for others to see.
Don’t emotionally blackmail others. They hurt you? Let them know and then move on. It’s between the two of you and not the world.
Cook dinner. Cook dinner and listen to music, the radio, or a podcast.
Treat yourself to candles and flowers. Be your own cheerleader.
Take naps. Take a cat nap on a Sunday afternoon with the blinds open and the fan on high.
Drink your water, eat your vegetables. Take care of your body.
Never have time to take off your jewelry before bed, but always have time to take off your makeup. Your nighttime skin regime is important.
Mystery is beautiful. You don’t need to reveal much of or about yourself.
Never appear other than as you are. Don’t lie about yourself. Embrace who you are at your core.
Vintage workout vision board
We'll live long and we'll live well!
Categories by which you can sort your glow up / self development process:
fashion (wardrobe, jewelry, shoes collection, etc)
body (nutritious diet, skincare, haircare, teeth, fitness, etc)
mental wellbeing (confidence and self-esteem, positivity, focus)
emotional wellbeing (emotional stability, addressing inner wounds, childhood wounds, traumas, anxieties - you have to be in a balanced place in order to really thrive)
education (learning new languages, cultures; courses and certifications; learning about various topics, politics, science, whatever interests you)
grace, poise, posture, manners
financial education - a separate category in and of itself because being financially savvy will change your life (basic financial education, how to invest, healthy money mindset, what are good investments, how mortgages work, etc)
and so many more!
Feel free to add more below or let me know if you’d like more in-depth article on this.
💋 𝐿𝓊𝓂𝑒𝓃