Latest Posts by mari-say - Page 2

Palace of Monserrate

Sintra/Portugal

photos cjmn

my least favourite turn based strategy game is email

This is such an amazing and phenomenal analysis that I am simply speechless...

Thank you so much for this, it's a shame I found it so late but I just want to say I love the way you think 😭❤️

Also...Soldier Prototype! You're literally the only person I've ever seen, besides me, who thought that Prototype might have a soldier background XD

Absolutely obsessed with the ecosystem and interpersonal political implications going on in Poppy Playtime right now, like.

What we have in the Playtime Co factory is a society made up of creatures who were all, at one point, human. And while it's stated that the experiments have varying levels of intelligence and ability to recall their former lives, we know that a lot of them, if not all of them, retained at least some of their humanity post-transformation. For example:

Most of the experiments are angry, resentful and vengeful towards Playtime Co - they understand they have been wronged, and they are capable of holding grudges.

Poppy and the Prototype seem to have the same end goals (putting a stop to the experiments and saving the innocents being used in them), but diametrically opposing views on how to go about achieving them (the Prototype is a gritty realist who knows no war was ever won without bloodshed and is willing to cause collateral damage in the name of his cause, where Poppy is far more idealistic, moderate and morally opposed to/upset by the deaths of the Playtime Co employees). This dispute has escalated far enough that the Prototype apparently shut Poppy away before the Hour of Joy could begin, and Poppy now wants the Prototype dead for what she sees as a crime equal in atrocity to Playtime Co's - they are able to understand ideologies, have ideological disagreements, and strategise against each other.

Huggy Wuggy, who seems to be only slightly more intelligent than a predatory animal, can still write, and uses the ability to try to guide fleeing prey in the wrong direction - that suggests he uses the vents to hunt on a regular basis, and he's clever enough to use basic deception.

On the subject of Huggy Wuggy, when he escapes the facility, his first instinct is to go home.

There are also numerous examples of the experiments being able to form and maintain social bonds, and work together:

Mommy Long-Legs is described as "nurturing" and "motherly" towards the other experiments, as well as the children. She's placed in the Game Station precisely because her desire to protect and care for the children outweighs her hatred for her captors: she won't act aggressively in front of them.

DogDay says that he's "the last of the Smiling Critters", implying that the Playcare originally had a full complement of Bigger Bodies Critters and that they were all able to coexist peacefully.

Kissy Missy and Poppy clearly have a friendship, with Poppy willing to charge into unknown danger to help her friend.

Miss Delight originally calls the other teachers her sisters, and she's horrified and grief-stricken by her own actions when she turns on them.

Miss Delight and CatNap form a non-aggression pact that seems to include some kind of respect for territorial boundaries, as Ollie claims that CatNap usually avoids the school. That's Miss Delight's turf, and he clearly respects her space, even though it technically falls inside his own territory.

The Prototype - who's usually kept in isolation and under surveillance precisely because he's known to be violent - was on multiple occasions set loose in a room with at least CatNap (and potentially other experiments) without bloodshed. He's even confirmed to have patiently tolerated CatNap lowkey imprinting on him and following him around like a duckling.

The Prototype also opts to save Theo Grambell's life, knowing damn well that to do so means sacrificing his shot at freedom. There is no reason for him to do this other than caring for Theo.

Again, DogDay is the last of the Smiling Critters. Despite the fact that there would have been six of them, and one of CatNap. Working together, they should have been able to overpower him easily, and the fact that they couldn't makes me think that either a) there was a big confrontation in which CatNap either arrived with or was able to call out for backup or b) CatNap became an infinitely more capable strategist and picked them off quietly one at a time, using skills he'd have to have learned from someone.

Anyway. My point here: these were originally people, with all the associated moral hangups and emotional messiness, and they retained a lot of their humanity post-transformation. And they were on the same side, to begin with. During the Hour of Joy, they all turn on the workers together.

But after that? The complete breakdown of that unity and those complex social relations into an essentially animal ecosystem, and the psychological impact on the surviving experiments, fascinates me.

By the time the game starts, the experiments have run out of food, and they've begun turning on each other out of desperation. The Bigger Bodies monsters, previously social and cooperative, have been forced into direct competition for food, and as a result they've largely become solitary apex predators with fiercely-defended territories, where they can pick off smaller, weaker experiments at will. There's some evidence of cooperation and coexistence between predators - Bunzo Bunny and the Mini-Huggies survive ten years in Mommy Long-Legs' territory, possibly filling the scavenger niche and surviving off her leftovers, and Miss Delight is tolerated in CatNap's - but the small toys we see scattered bloodily all across the factory (and the small Bunzo we see picked off by CatNap as it tries to cross a room) show that there's a whole category of experiments whose lives would've become all about hiding, and sneaking, and being where the Bigger Bodies critters aren't. The predators, driven to the edge of starvation, have had to surrender a lot of the human values and morals they had before. The prey have essentially become rodents - they're in danger every second they're not safely hidden away somewhere.

And yet!

The way they've reacted to their trauma is still so human.

Like. Take the difference between CatNap and Mommy Long-Legs.

Mommy and CatNap - Marie and Theo - have a very similar start in life. Both were children when they were experimented on and transferred into their mascot bodies. Both were orphans, and both are described as not fitting in or being particularly happy in the Playcare - Marie was bullied, and Theo is described as "odd" and "antisocial with other children".

But post-transformation, it seems Marie was largely left to, essentially, raise herself. We know that she was aggressively hostile towards staff, and gentle and nurturing towards orphans and other experiments, but we have no suggestion that anyone was caring or parental towards her. Like most of the experiments, she has a digestive tract and would have needed to eat, so she must have had a "keeper" of some kind, but she doesn't seem to have had any attachment to anyone who could serve as a parental substitute and guide her into adulthood.

When we meet her as Mommy Long-Legs, she would be a young adult - she's grown up in her mascot body. But even acknowledging that she's been driven mad by fear and isolation, her emotional development shows several damage markers you'd expect from a child so utterly deprived of love and care and guidance. She's emotionally unstable and prone to throwing extreme tantrums over small and arbitrary inciting factors, like "cheating" at a rigged game - there's very limited ability or desire to moderate or regulate her emotions. She's erratic, has poor impulse control, and when she's angry she lashes out violently at whoever is most convenient - like Bunzo - even though it's someone else - the player - that she's actually mad at. She does try to hide her disappointment at our continued existence behind her bubblegum Mommy persona, but she never quite learned to convincingly mask her emotions the way adults can. Nor has she mastered the art of making and executing a plan - when she attacks, it's all aggression - the single-minded grab-and-smash of an angry, thwarted child. Even Huggy, limited though his intelligence is, stalks the player and tries to chase them into a kill zone. But Mommy relies solely on her stretch ability - automatic, instinctive - and her sheer rage to make her the GameStation's apex predator. Left to raise herself, she never learned a lot of adult skills or survival strategies, and it's become a fatal flaw - she knows her territory, she knows where there would be machinery to look out for, but she's so single-mindedly focused on punishing the player that she completely overlooks her own safety.

Contrast: CatNap.

CatNap is also a young adult when we meet him, and if he'd also been left alone to raise himself, he'd probably have a lot of the same developmental stunting. But he doesn't, and that's interesting.

Now, let's take a very quick detour to look at the behaviour we've seen, not from CatNap, but from the Prototype. We know he's fiercely intelligent, calculating, and a tactical thinker with a talent for using his environment and anything in it (up to and including the player - he makes use of Mommy after we kill her, even though he's the facility's super predator and could easily have done it himself) to his advantage. We know he's stealthy - from how close to us he is at the close of each chapter, he's likely been tailing us from the moment we entered the factory, keeping his distance and watching us to see what we'll do and how he can make use of our actions. Some of his behaviours are strongly reminiscent of a soldier in action - I have a theory here that whoever became the Prototype had, at some point in his previous life, been a military man.

And now look at CatNap. Who has he become?

An intelligent, calculating stealth predator who uses his environment and any weaponizable thing he can get his claws on to take out his prey with minimal risk to himself. He's capable of adult logic and reasoning skills - i.e. the teachers will get hungry and harm the surviving children, so locking them in the school to fight to the death removes all but one threat, who can then be negotiated with once the children have been moved to safety. He's able to form and maintain alliances and agreements. He's even able to identify that the player is either a) not a threat to him or b) proving useful to the Prototype, and overlook his own hunger to offer them mercy: leave Playcare, or I'm coming for you.

In other words, he's grown up a lot like the Prototype.

And there's a reason for that! We know from the interdepartmental report on CatNap that for some reason, after his transformation procedure, he was allowed to socialise with the Prototype - an experiment who's considered so dangerous usually kept on lockdown in isolation under constant surveillance. And the report notes that CatNap "follows [the Prototype] around like a lost puppy" and that the Prototype "doesn't seem to mind".

Which, on its own, could just mean that the Prototype recognised Theo for what he was - a traumatized, hurting, confused little boy - and, aware that CatNap was not a threat, opted for tolerance over violence. But when you consider CatNap's history with the Prototype, I don't think that's it. Theo befriended the Prototype, or vice versa, long before Theo ever became CatNap. He was mortally injured trying to help the Prototype escape, and the Prototype gave up that shot at freedom to get Theo medical attention. They are close, and the fact that CatNap, a decade later, has assumed so many of the Prototype's traits and skills implies that they remained close for a good long while after the Hour of Joy.

Theo, aged 7, is clinging to the one person he feels safe with and protected by after a major trauma. If he follows the Prototype everywhere, he won't be left alone with the scientists. If he's not left alone with the scientists, they can't hurt him anymore. And the Prototype lets him, reinforcing the idea that you're safe with me. It's not unlikely that he feels responsible for CatNap's fate - if he hadn't taken Theo to the Playtime counselors for medical attention, the boy would have peacefully died, and wouldn't be living a nightmare - and he's stepped up to parent CatNap.

And you can see echoes of that ongoing bond in how CatNap behaves a decade later. Who taught him to hunt? The Prototype. Who taught him strategy and tactical thinking? The Prototype. Who gave him the survival skills he needed to make his way to the top of the food chain and stay there? The Prototype.

Unlike Marie, Theo had someone to protect him. Someone to play with and care for him. Someone to hunt for and feed him once the bodies began to run out, at least until he was fully capable of catching, killing and pulling apart his own prey. Someone to socialise with. And he's better adjusted - for a given value of "better adjusted", because like, nobody in this factory is even remotely okay - as a result.

And that's still so human. Despite the absolute horror-show feral animal situation they're all living in.

Just? idk man i have a lot of feelings

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Something like this would be so colossally helpful. I'm sick and tired of trying to research specific clothing from any given culture and being met with either racist stereotypical costumes worn by yt people or ai generated garbage nonsense, and trying to be hyper specific with searches yields fuck all. Like I generally just cannot trust the legitimacy of most search results at this point. It's extremely frustrating. If there are good resources for this then they're buried deep under all the other bullshit, and idk where to start looking.

He's so tall he's basically a humanization of Eiffel tower

I love you tragedy I love you corruption arcs I love you doomed relationships I love you character succumbing to their fatal flaw I love you codependency I love you characters doomed to die from the start I love you road to hell paved with good intentions

Leonid Pasternak  (Ukrainian, 1862–1945) - The Torments of Creative Work

hand gesture

I'M FUCKING DYING

Harley Sawyer character analysis (part 1: Youth/Teenagerhood)

This part of character's backstory is unfairly overlooked while I find it the most interesting aspect in building up Sawyer's personality.

So I will provide documents in chronological order analysing and theorising regarding them.

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First document concerns Young Geniuses Program run by Elliot Ludwig. One of Playtime employees (or even Elliot himself) writes his observations regarding teenage Harley Sawyer

"Harley Sawyer

This boy is a curiosity among these young minds. He cares little for friendship in the way each of the others seem to, nor does he care to treat his work or his scientific processes as anything other than serious. In this boy, I believe I sense a drive unlike any I've seen, and he has the smarts to match. If I might just be a tad selfish here, he is EXACTLY who I hoped this program would attract.

But despite not caring for his comrades' company or the fun of our project, he DID take an immediate and very noticeable interest in me. The boy hardly smiles, save for when the two of us work on an invention, locked in the throes of another grand experiment. I've tried to ask him questions— get a sense for who he is. And while he doesn't say much, from how he talks about home, I get a sense he doesn't miss it. A mind such as his can be quick to isolate himself from his peers, and if not surrounded by kindness, that mind can twist. The way he spoke almost made me feel sorry for him.

But this, doing what we're doing here, with me, he told me it was ALL he ever wanted.

I've taken a liking to the boy, and I confess, I hope to keep him around. He's sharp, intelligent, curious, and fiercely determined. I think we've got something special in him. If I'm right, I think he might just be who leads science into the future."

Line "If I might just be a tad selfish here, he is EXACTLY who I hoped this program would attract." hints that Ludwig is the one writing it

It seems like Harley was neurodivergent from birth and never before Playtime's program felt understood by others, including his family. I guess it's implied that his family is toxic or even abusive but there are multiple options: Abuse has different types, less or more severe, may come from one or both parents...

Or if it's just Harley being that unreliable narrator who made his family sound toxic and way worse than they really are? Though telling that to his mentor sincerely, from his genuine point of view, because it's how he sees the world through his irregular mind. Maybe Sawyer's family doesn't understand him and tries to "fix" him without being outright abusive or toxic but still not giving Harley that type of treatment which will work for him. And Harley, being egotistical, doesn't listen to them or change. Something similar to how Elliot Ludwig will try to instill the care for humanity in him during YGP, but eventually making Harley only worse.          

Although if his family was indeed nice, they would have taken their kid to psychologist, did something not to let him grow into that monster🤔 + I guess this option is not what the game creators really meant, so it's just "but still a possibility" ramble. 

“A mind such as his can be quick to isolate himself from his peers, and if not surrounded by kindness, that mind can twist. The way he spoke almost made me feel sorry for him.” — what a foreshadowing. It’s interesting how creators straightly stated through Ludwig the reason behind Doctor’s insanity.

Harley seemingly had daddy issues, he found a father figure in Ludwig and looked up to him: “But despite not caring for his comrades' company or the fun of our project, he DID take an immediate and very noticeable interest in me.” 

Sounds like science was Harley’s special interest dismissed by his parents&peers and he never before had an opportunity to fulfill himself in what he truly desired: “The boy hardly smiles, save for when the two of us work on an invention, locked in the throes of another grand experiment.”

“But this, doing what we're doing here, with me, he told me it was ALL he ever wanted.” — isn’t it a heartfelt confession? Harley definitely saw more than just a mentor in Ludwig.

-------------------------------------------

Eventually Elliot removed Sawyer from the program and wrote a letter to the boy explaining why:

I guess the more they bonded, the more comfortable it became for Harley to be sincere with Ludwig and show his true self. Eventually his “dark” side began to show:   “You finally lashed out at me one evening and stormed out of the lab. "Don't be soft, Elliot." you said. "Progress doesn't care for how anyone feels about it." 

I don’t know when and how exactly Ludwig was rejected (if you have a theory tell me please!) but his motivation is pretty interesting: “I was reminded of what ultimately changed me. Of what gave me the perspective I needed. It was seeing the world and people again, bouncing back from rejection and hardship through connection. In thinking about those days, I'm reminded that rejection can sometimes be the best thing for us.”

“So I challenge you to head for home, Harley, and to look at the people around you.” — I think such teachings sounded even offencive to Harley…I agree with Ludwig's philosophy but to deliver it in such a way to an obstinate person who apparently doesn't like people and lives in a toxic environment while depriving them of their dream job…meh, it sounds nearly as mocking...

“One day, I hope you'll understand. Maybe you'll even thank me. But even still, I'm sorry.” — if only Ludwig knew…In this case rejection made things only worse.

---------------------------------

After receiving the letter about his removal from Ludwig, Harley was taken aback and reacted hysterically. Also there are multiple stains on paper, probably Harley cried while letting out his emotions by writing (or it’s any another type of dirt)

“He took EVERYTHING

I thought you CARED

NOBODY CARES

NOBODY UNDERSTANDS

ELLIOT LUDWIG IS A SOFT, PATHETIC, SMALL-MINDED BACKSTABBER. NOTHING MORE.”

This confirms even more than Harley saw sort of father figure in Ludwig. He took the removal so personally. And seems Harley really doesn’t comprehend he did anything wrong, thinking that it’s just that “nobody understands”. 

“ELLIOT LUDWIG IS A SOFT, PATHETIC, SMALL-MINDED BACKSTABBER” — we heard similar lines in chapter 4, isn’t it?

And we can find Ludwig’s “removal letter”(intact and undamaged!) in the office behind Doctor’s lair:

It means Harley never got over this “betrayal”, remembering the rejection again and again, getting mad at a long-dead man…Infantile side of our “Big bad doctor”.

-------------------------------

The note addressing rat and poppy gel on Ludwig’s table…Who have written it? Who performed the experiment? 

Visualization of the experiment in Doctor’s trailer

Since images seen there are his flashbacks then Harley was present during the performance. We still can’t know whose idea it was but what if Harley was the originator of the whole poppy substance thing? “He took EVERYTHING” — may it have more straight meaning?

Also Doctor’s spite towards Poppy…He knew she was reincarnation of Ludwig’s daughter? Then Ludwig opened up to Harley very much and they were close in work. Or Leith Pierre knew and told him? Or if the Doctor doesn’t know who Poppy really is but when experimenting on her he saw the poppy gel used and was bitter about Ludwig using his invention?

Not long before his demise the Doctor rants to the player: “It was going to be mine…It was ALL going to be MINE! MY discovery! MY recognition! I was the one who paved the golden path! ” — supports the theory that Harley was the one who came up with the idea of reincarnation using a poppy flower. 

---------------------------------

I absolutely love the Doctor’s backstory. Creators let us in some way understand his inner motivation without making us feel bad for him(says person who feels a bit🥴) or think he was right…that good villain backstory without straightforward drama or tragedy. There is a tragedy though a pretty mundane one? Like, lots of people face domestic abuse or struggle to find human connection with neurodiversity and some of such minds really twist if not receiving proper help…but not even half of such minds would do those awful and inhumane things Harley did. 

There’s something poetical in the fact that the main villain who tormented so many innocent children forcing them to become monsters, was once a lost kid who never got proper help…and then will be welcomed to bring the ideas of his twisted mind to life, becoming a monster but in human guise(till one incident🤭) 

And I welcome your comments/theories/remarks! I have spent like 3 weeks? writing this but still may have missed something^) Hope this wasn’t too boring cause you know, I’m a bit pedantic when it comes to analysis (just like Harley, lol🌝)

Do you have enough love in your heart To go and get your hands dirty? It isn’t that much, but it’s a good start So go and get your hands dirty 

dirty, grandson

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I've said this before but Why do people position "themes and analysis" and "shipping" as mutually exclusive opposites. maybe I find two characters thematically interesting and want them to analytically fuck about it.

Brief moment of horror at work bc I forgot what I named my phone for a sec

I love this because like 99% of this kind of paleoart is patriarchal Man the Hunter type fantasies but these guys are just like “fuck it we’re outta here”

average starscream activity

At the risk of sounding anti-intellectual, I think that college should be free and also not a requirement for employment outside of highly specialized career fields

Genuinely and unironically my philosophy abt music has expanded to “stop writing off music because it’s from a specific genre” and I think that could be applied to most mediums actually

Okay I’m currently furious that migraines are often so blindly easy to treat and I had to find this out myself at the age of 26 when I’ve been to a neurologist since I was 11 lol so I’m about to teach you two neat and fast little tricks to deal with pain!

The first is the sternocleidomastoid muscle, or the SCM muscle.

This big red section is responsible for pain around the eye, cheekbone, and jaw, as well as some temple pain. Literally all you have to do is angle your head down a little, angle it away from the side that hurts, and then you can gently pinch and rub that muscle. I find it best to start at the bottom and travel upwards. The relief is so immediate! You can increase pressure as you feel comfortable doing so.

Here is a short and easy video showing this in action

The second is a fast and easy stretch that soothes your vagus nerve, which is the nerve responsible for calming you down. The vagus nerve, for those unfamiliar, is stimulated by deep breathing such as yawning, sighing, singing, or taking a deep breath to calm your anger in a tense situation.

You can stretch this out by sitting up as straight as possible (this does not have to be perfect to work) and interlacing your fingers. Put your hands on the back of your head with your thumbs going down the sides of your neck and, while keeping your face forward, look all the way to one side with just your eyes. Hold that until you feel the urge to breathe deeply or yawn, or until you can tell there’s a change. Then do the same thing on the other side. When you put your arms down, you should clearly be able to turn your head farther in both directions. If the first session doesn’t get rid of your migraine, rest and repeat as many times as necessary. I even get a little fancy with it and roll my eyes up and down along the outer edge sometimes to stretch as much as I can.

If you need a visual here’s a good video on it. I know some of the language they use seems questionable but this is real and simple science and should not be discarded because it’s been adopted by the trendy wellness crowd!

I seriously cannot believe I didn’t hear a word of this from any doctor in my life. Additionally, if you get frequent recurring migraines, you may want to see a dietician. Migraines can be caused by foods containing histamines, lectin, etc. and can also be caused by high blood pressure in specific situations such as exercise, stress, and even sex.

If any of this information helps you I’d love to hear it btw! It’s so so fast and easy to do. Good luck!

you know i don’t think we often talk about how difficult it actually is to suddenly realize that a belief you thought was good and moral and correct was actually really fucking toxic. how you have to look at something and go ‘oh shit, oh i fucked up. oh this is going to take probably years at minimum to deprogram from my brain because of all the little ways this shit pervaded the rest of my beliefs’

so. to all the people picking up all the pieces of a recently shattered world-view and trying to figure out what is safe to keep and what has to be thrown away and started over

to all the people having to relearn how to even listen to other people

to all the people putting in the work to do better while struggling with the guilt that comes from finding out you were the asshole

i’m proud of y’all.

it’s hard to admit being wrong and even harder to change in the aftermath. just keep doing the best you can and just know that the effort is appreciated. everyone can change. everyone can do better. keep fighting.

I love villains that are the reverse of the idea that the absence of love makes you evil. Villains that love to the point of paranoia and obsession. Villains whose love for someone corrupts them. Love being used for awful, evil things. Using love to justify horrific actions. Anything that breaks down the toxic idea that people who don’t feel love are monsters and those who feel love are always pure and heroic and morally right.

I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back

ADS THAT SUDDENLY TAKE UP THE WHOLE PAGE

If anyone in the US is interested in how we're coping with Trump overseas, today one of my colleagues who specialises in European policy just emailed me with the opener of 'Hi Hannah, hope you're doing well despite Trump'. So there's that.

(NO, PHILIPPE. NO, I AM NOT DOING WELL DESPITE TRUMP.)

the most annoying people are people who don't understand storytelling. they be like "oooo how convenient that this thing happened to the main character in the very beginning". yeah no shit. that's why the story begins here

Being a mom and an anarchist and trying to figure out the whole “parenting” song and dance from that perspective makes me think 8-year-olds have about got it figured out. I hate school. I hate tests. I hate bedtime.

J. R. R. Tolkien, undisputedly a most fluent speaker of this language, was criticized in his day for indulging his juvenile whim of writing fantasy, which was then considered—as it still is in many quarters— an inferior form of literature and disdained as mere “escapism.” “Of course it is escapist,” he cried. “That is its glory! When a soldier is a prisoner of war it is his duty to escape—and take as many with him as he can.” He went on to explain, “The moneylenders, the knownothings, the authoritarians have us all in prison; if we value the freedom of the mind and soul, if we’re partisans of liberty, then it’s our plain duty to escape, and to take as many people with us as possible.“

Stephen R. Lawhead