Marmorkreb - :v

He’s an FBI agent. He’s a bimbo. He’s a fake lawyer. He’s a former football star. He’s an all-American boy. He’s the most beautiful woman you’ve ever seen. He’s fuckin surfin. He’s young dumb and full of cum. He showers on the beach. He uses his real name during an undercover operation for some reason. He pretended his parents were dead to get laid get close to a professional criminal. He’s got princess eyes. He’s really fuckin late. He never fuckin misses. He seeks the most violent possible ways to touch other men. He takes the skin off chicken. He’s spraying bullets in the air and going AaaaaAaAaAaAaaahHHhhH. He’s a fuckin liar. He’ll blow out your fuckin kneecaps. He’s gonna ride it all the way. He’s unarmed and he’s twirling cuntily to prove it. He only knows how to skydive as a metaphor for gay sex. He wants that guy so bad it’s like acid in his mouth. He followed him to every city in Mexico before letting him kill himself in the ocean instead of going to prison. His name is literally Johnny fucking Utah.

I’m obsessed with this video (source)

i love this illustration i'm losing my mind

look at her. go crazy aaaaaa go stupid aaaaaa

professional entomologist here every answer so far is wrong yall are just thinking of the most venomous options without considering the full breeding cycle. the actual practical answer is black widows. find a gravid female and set her up in a deli cup and she'll produce reliable egg sacs for up to a few years, I had a girl thrive in an old water bottle w a diet of a honeybee every week or so and she had three batches of eggs in less than a year

if op wants venomous insects without the breeding issue they should just dig up a fire ant colony.

beneath the summer street light

why yes I would actually love to play a convoluted board game at this chill drinking party that wasn’t advertised as a game night. Hey would it be ok if you whip it out after we’re all in four drinks? Yeah, just so none of our attention spans are at 100% and none of us would be cleared to drive a car or obey traffic laws. and would you mind explaining the rules in a very surly manner and appear subtly irate whenever someone’s attention strays from the game? yeah yeah and would it be ok if we played it on an abrasive carpeted floor too? thanks

It's a trick, it has to be!