I Had A Dream Where A Bunch Of Grey Long-snouted Creatures Were Gathered Around This Other Creature,

what a dream!

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The Monologue, because I liked it so damn much.

u know that thing where an animals grow in a far off place and some idiot introduces him to a new habitat and it turns out its characteristics that help them in their own sometimes are too helpful in the new one and they become like an invasive species yeah thats the word i was missing anyway back to my point i think i saw a human version of that just now i was driving in tonights snow storm and i saw a man wearing a big ass cowboy hat to keep the snow off him and a bandit red bandana to keep it off his face and a big ass pancho to keep him warm and nice ass cowboy boots to keep his calves dry and he was prancing along while everyone on the road looked miserable and frozen solid and idk i guess the point im trying to make here is i feel like cowboys would have taken over russia if given the chance or something

(british lady from hitman voice) Elon Musk eliminated. Good job, 47. Your next target, Jeff Bezos.

Dudes in 18th century would b like “if u don’t respond to my marriage proposal by next winter I’m going to enlist in the war and die .”

Stark Tower has literally got the best wifi in the whole of New York and Tony makes it free as well so sometimes he’ll walk out of the ground floor and just see like a dozen or so people, usually kids, just sat on the doorstep on their phones or laptops and like it’s such a little thing to do but yknow. He’s Ironman. Give the kids some damn fast wifi.

In my art history class we’re discussing museums and repatriation and I am so fucking angry

Just wait until I have some free time, I’ll post my favorite whiny bitch responses from European museums.

Click on it twice. These are your two super powers.

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..