Grumble Grumble…

bodega catgirls (print available!)

Medieval Environment by Yura Gvozdenko

When I see people sharing so much of their kids' lives, I think about that one time my child told a joke, I shared that joke with ONE FRIEND in a private conversation, and my child said "can you please ask me next time, before you tell people something about me?"

And, yes, I absolutely should. So I apologized, and now I ask.

"I love that video of you, can I show it to a friend?"

"Can I tell a friend about how clever you were just now?"

"Can I share this in the family group chat?"

"Can I show your art to grandma and grandpa?"

And it's not like my kids don't like when I share their jokes and puns and fun moments. They love it! But they want to have control over what I share with people. Even without their faces or their names. Even people we know and trust.

And they deserve to have that control.

My children are small so the examples are small. They wanted me to ask, so I ask. Just like being told to kiss my grandma's cheek when I was a kid was far from traumatizing, but I don't do that with my kids because it's a way to practice consent and become aware of bodily autonomy.

It gets both me and them in the habit of asking for consent and drawing boundaries and seeing the lines between their life and my life, their stories and my stories.

ra ra rasputin something something sour cream

Art by Tuomas Korpi

Judith Beheading Holofernes by Caravaggio // Judith Slaying Holofernes by Artemisia Gentileschi // Judith Cutting Off the Head of Holofernes by Trophime Bigot // Judith with the Head of Holofernes by Peter Paul Rubens

Art by Philipe Rios