I’m Kinda Scared Of Being Happy For A Day, Or Maybe Just For A Few Minutes. Something May Come Up And

Why People in Relationships Who Stay in the Dating Pool Are the Worst 🙄🙄🙄

Let’s get one thing straight: if you’re already in a relationship and still lurking in the dating pool, you’re playing with fire—and not in the fun, adventurous way. You’re deliberately hurting people, and no matter how you spin it, that’s just plain selfish.

For starters, relationships are built on trust. When someone chooses to be with you, they’re committing their time, emotions, and often a big part of their life to you. By keeping one foot in the dating world, you’re betraying that trust. It’s dishonest and manipulative. You’re leading people on, both your partner and anyone you’re flirting with in the dating scene, giving them false hope or expectations.

It's not just about hurting your partner either. The people you’re chatting up on dating apps or meeting through other channels? They're being deceived too. No one enters the dating pool thinking they’re going to be someone’s backup plan or side fling. Most people are there hoping to build something genuine, and by pretending to be available, you’re wasting their time and energy—time they could be using to find someone who's actually emotionally and physically available.

Then there’s the emotional damage you're causing. People who discover their partner is still dating on the side often end up with trust issues, insecurities, and emotional scars that last long after the relationship ends. You’re not just making a mistake in the moment; you’re causing long-term harm to others.

Being in the dating pool while in a relationship is an act of selfishness. It shows a lack of respect for your partner and for the people you're stringing along. If you're unhappy in your current relationship or seeking something new, the mature and respectful thing to do is end things before involving other people. Otherwise, you're just proving you don’t value honesty, loyalty, or the feelings of those around you.

In short, if you’re in a relationship and still trying to date, you're acting like an asshole. It’s toxic, harmful, and deeply disrespectful to everyone involved. Do better. 💅

Some moments cut so deep they become woven into who we are. Choosing to close the door on someone who brought so much pain isn’t just a decision; it’s survival. In the quiet spaces of my heart, I still hear the echoes of betrayal, disappointment, and heartbreak. Whenever I think of letting him back in, a wave of loathing rises up, reminding me that stepping back into that pain would mean losing myself all over again.

Let’s be clear: there are people who take and take, leaving nothing but a hollow shell in their wake. He was one of those people. The way he twisted my trust into a weapon against me was nothing short of monstrous. I loathe him, not just for what he did, but for the way he made me feel—small, insignificant, and unworthy of love. He took my vulnerability and used it as a means to manipulate and control, and the sheer audacity of that betrayal is enough to make my blood boil.

The memories haunt me like phantoms in the night. I remember the promises made, the tender words whispered in the dark, and the way they all crumbled like ash in the face of reality. He was a storm that wrecked my peace, and now, the thought of inviting that chaos back into my life makes my stomach churn. I would rather drown in despair than suffer through another chapter of torment that he would bring.

It’s infuriating how someone can waltz in and out of your life, leaving you to pick up the shattered pieces of your heart. I have spent countless nights wrestling with the demons of self-doubt and despair he unleashed upon me. I have fought against the notion that I am somehow responsible for the pain he inflicted. But now, with every ounce of strength within me, I declare that I will not let him back in. I refuse to be a victim of his charm once more, a puppet in his twisted game of manipulation.

The agony of betrayal runs deep, and the scars left behind are reminders of the strength I’ve found within myself. The choice to keep him out is not just about protection; it’s about self-respect. I would rather die than endure the suffering of reliving the torment he caused. The thought of opening that door, of offering him a second chance he does not deserve, fills me with a deep, aching dread.

So, I stand firm. I choose to honor my pain rather than let it fester into something more destructive. I refuse to let him back in, to allow his toxicity to seep into my life once more. Every moment spent apart is a testament to my resilience, a reminder that I have the power to reclaim my life from the wreckage he left behind.

To anyone who finds themselves at a similar crossroads: choose yourself. Choose peace over chaos. The road ahead may be paved with heartache, but it’s also a path toward healing and strength. Embrace the emotions that arise—let the anger and sadness wash over you, but don’t let them define you. You are not a product of someone else’s actions; you are a warrior who has fought and survived.

In the end, my decision is not just about him; it’s about my freedom. I will not suffer the consequences of his choices any longer. I will not allow the ghosts of my past to dictate my future. I close this chapter for good, sealing the door with a promise to myself: I am worthy of better.

This summer, I’m heading to Iloilo... alone. My best friend was supposed to join me, but she has important things to take care of, and I don’t want to get in the way.

I’ve already envisioned all the things I want to do in Iloilo. Plus, I’ll be attending a wedding in Capiz, which makes me even more excited for the trip!

Feeling queasy.

I just have to pull some strings here and plan ahead. I should have a better plan for 2022. Two plans. Just in case the first one fails.

I am used to keeping things to myself. I am afraid of telling people about how I feel, or what should I do about it. I’d rather deal with it myself. 

There was a time when I tried to open up to people about some of the things I find a burden to keep to myself but then I am ignored and told that I am just overreacting about situations, or I’m playing with my head. They call me a drama queen. I felt humiliated. I tried to trust someone with what I feel but they just laugh at you and ridicule you, just dismiss it like it doesn’t matter.

On social media, some see people with mental issues as people who just love to create drama to be noticed. Even though how much you try to be understood, others will still think differently. 

Sometimes, if I think I can’t handle the pressure, or the anxiety, I break down. I retreat to my room. Write about it and just try to forget it, at least for a while. I don’t know. As long as it’s off my head I’ll be fine. It will just go away, unless something triggers it. It’s a cycle. Goes on and on and you do not know when it will stop. 

I was full of hope then suddenly everything went crumbling down.

My face is having a mini-earthquake! It's twitching so violently, it feels like my body is shaking.

I literally went from begging to IDGAF if you leave attitude. I'm tired of the push and pull. So if you don't feel we could work out then ok fine. No one's gonna force you to stay. So I'm glad I toughened up like wow, I can't believe this is me now.

I'm a night owl. I find that the quiet and calmness of the night allow me to focus and be more productive. There's something magical about the stillness of the night, where the world feels like it's paused, giving me the space to think, reflect, and create without distractions. I love how the night offers a sense of solitude and peace, which is perfect for unwinding or diving into creative projects.