Booby

I bought my friend an elephant for their room.

They said “Thank you.”

I said “Don’t mention it.”

Linguistics Christmas Jokes

allthingslinguistic:

How does a linguist wish someone a joyful Dec 25th? Merry/Mary/marry Christmas!

What are Father Christmas’s linguist sisters and daughters called? Relative Clauses 

What does a linguist say when Santa just won’t leave you alone? He’s lost the stalking/stocking distinction

What is a distinctive feature of the Christmas phonology of non-native English speakers? No-dark-el 

What do linguists do under mistletoe? Make quadrilabial clicks 

What is a minty treat that linguists consume around Christmastime? Chomsky canes 

Which carrot-nosed entity came to life in a particularly strident fashion? Fricative the snowman

Who is a grammatical but unattested candidate for pulling a linguist’s sleigh? Rudolph the colourless-green-nosed reindeer 

What nutmeg-sprinkled beverage does one drink around Linguistmas? Wugnog 

What presents did the three wise linguists bring? Goal, epenthesis, and merge

What song do linguist carollers sing?  God rest ye merry grammarian

What do you put on top of an ungrammatical linguistmas tree? *

will you marry me = a marriage proposal will, you, Mary, me = a foursome proposal

Writing Systems of the World [2714x1256]

me when I’ve just started a new language and all I know is the present tense: i never look back darling, it distracts from the now

A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.

A question mark walks into a bar?

Two quotation marks “Walk into” a bar.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to drink.

The bar was walked into by a passive voice.

Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They drink. They leave.

Just imagine the Avengers going to Ikea, and Thor is the only one who can pronounce the name of anything. 

Dammit Spongebob

When a 4-decade old bookish skill meets technology

Philip Bradburn, a Bookbinder expert based in England, got what he called a “KleverCase lightbulb moment” when he thought of giving a twist to his son’s Christmas present in 2011: Unifying his 40-year-old bookbinding experience with the modern technology by producing a handmade gadget case in the form of hard bound book.

Their book cases fit certain sizes of kindle, phones, and ereaders. One case could either be specifically moulded plastic for popular gadgets, or a universal fit reusable grip area for other devices.

Mr. Bradburn’s workshops in the New Forest England produces a variety of British and American literature-inspired gadget cases, ranging from Sherlock Holmes to To Kill a Mockingbird.

Sherlock Holmes:

The Great Gatsby:

To Kill a Mockingbird:

His little company KleverCase is a passionate family business, which also helps people in his area back to work.

An Etymological Map of the Brain by Neuroskeptic