You Want To See Something Punny ??

>tell my girl i love subs >she thinkin i wanna dominate her in bed >god damn i love sandwiches

Fickled Ghoti turned 1 two days ago!

How has it been a year already? I just got here.

Imagine the Avengers getting hit with some sort of spell that makes them revert to their first language

and everyone expects to be unable to understand Natasha’s Russian or Thor’s Norse (Allspeak is great but it isn’t his first language according to the spell)

but then Steve starts spouting Gaelic, because he grew up speaking English in public but his immigrant mother taught him her own language first

Tony speaks either Spanish or Italian, because that’s what his first nannies spoke

and the spell considers ASL a language just as much as any spoken language, so Clint is just signing and making faces at people

and Bruce is just very confused (“Why do you expect me to be speaking a different language? I’m from Ohio.”)

Linguistics Christmas Jokes

allthingslinguistic:

How does a linguist wish someone a joyful Dec 25th? Merry/Mary/marry Christmas!

What are Father Christmas’s linguist sisters and daughters called? Relative Clauses 

What does a linguist say when Santa just won’t leave you alone? He’s lost the stalking/stocking distinction

What is a distinctive feature of the Christmas phonology of non-native English speakers? No-dark-el 

What do linguists do under mistletoe? Make quadrilabial clicks 

What is a minty treat that linguists consume around Christmastime? Chomsky canes 

Which carrot-nosed entity came to life in a particularly strident fashion? Fricative the snowman

Who is a grammatical but unattested candidate for pulling a linguist’s sleigh? Rudolph the colourless-green-nosed reindeer 

What nutmeg-sprinkled beverage does one drink around Linguistmas? Wugnog 

What presents did the three wise linguists bring? Goal, epenthesis, and merge

What song do linguist carollers sing?  God rest ye merry grammarian

What do you put on top of an ungrammatical linguistmas tree? *

none of yall know what propaganda actually is, do you?

it’s not 2020 where i am yet, but here’s my nomination for the first meme of the new decade

“Simple shapes, I have come to bargain!”

me when I’ve just started a new language and all I know is the present tense: i never look back darling, it distracts from the now

Writing Systems of the World [2714x1256]