IM ALL THREE AND I DO NOT HAVE A PISS KINK ❗❗❗

Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits. Take away my tits.

I SEE THE VISION VERY WELL EM I SEE OT ALMOST TOO WELL 😫😫

would anyone fw a ted au? he's your neighbour he's a (divorced?) dilf, and he has the hots for u so fuckin' bad. watches you gardening from his kitchen window, he's a lil pervy so he starts palming himself watching you before fully just jerking off at the sight of you. desperate to befriend you and have you round to fuck.. like are you guys also seeing the vision or..

i’m upid what does sss mean (in your dni)?

Shelby support squad, like extremists. I already have wss (Wilbur support squad) as I don't want to have any fights here and all that. :)

I think we as a community need to have a real sit-down conversation about not fucking stalking content creator's families and their private social media and borderline doxxing them. I thought we learned our lesson but apparently not. Let's not sift through their private lives, their family's lives, and lets not go in depth about their political opinions. They are PEOPLE. Who deserve SPACE and RESPECT. You are not in their inner circle like that

fyi if we're mutuals you have full consent to be as feral as you want in asks and dms

new ask game send me a 🌻 and ill just tell you whatever the fuck i want

reblog if you have skilled writer friends and you're damn proud of them

GREAT MINDS THINK ALIKE ❗❗❗❗❗

all i think of is you

contents - SMUT, reader is afab, (y/n) used like once, pet names!, reader and schlatt are exs, reader and ted fuck, penis in vagina sex, oral (f!receiving), praise, ted being a sweet lover, phone call while having sex

authors note // hi everyone! i missed writing ted so hehehe. this can be read as a stand alone fic or part two to messy! shoutout to my roommate for helping me ideate.

it wasn’t a secret that you and schlatt dated once; once it was leaked, it was all over the internet, and it put a strain on your relationship. it was tiring everytime you and schlatt went out or were seen in a video together. The comments would be filled with people talking about you two. you got sick of people coming into your stream comments and asking about schlatt and the cats, so you broke up with him. it wasn’t easy for either of you, but you still told yourself it was what needed to happen. you took a few months off streaming and only streamed with a green screen behind you so people wouldn’t ask any more questions about where or who you lived with. that who being ted. yes, you moved in with one of schlatt’s friends. was it the smartest idea? maybe not. was it the best option you had at the time? maybe not, but hey, the rent wasn’t that bad. as you’re about to begin another tuesday stream, you feel like you’re forgetting something, but you can't place your finger on it. you start the stream and check your phone for a few minutes as people file in before you switch to your face cam. “hey everyone,” you then realize you forgot to pull your green screen up, “oh goddamnit,” you lean down to pull it up. what you didn’t expect was ted’s desk set up to be in full view of your camera. “what?” he asks, turning to face you. “forgot my green screen.” you turn back around and already see the damage in your comments. 

“OMG TED?!?!?!”

“hiiii tedddd!”

“Holy shit is that ted nivision?”

you take a breath and then say, “this is the only time i’m gonna say this. yes, i’m living with ted. if any of you are freaks about it, you’re gonna be banned, alright, y’all? " You ask your chat and wait a beat, looking at comments and seeing people calm down a little before continuing with the stream you had planned.

it’s a few months past; you and ted have a nighttime routine at this point. you would shower and hang out on your bed for an hour or two before turning your lights off and getting into bed. usually,  in that hour or two, ted would join you on your bed and talk about your days or cuddle and watch his tiktok feed together. ted was sat cris cross on the end of the bed, and you were laying on your back tonight and talking about a video idea he had. “no but have you thought about the bubba gump idea?” you ask again with a knowing smile on your face. you knew he wasn’t going to do it; you just loved messing with the man. “no, (y/n), eddie and i are not going to every bubba gump in the country.” he replies with a hand over his face. “no replace eddie with me.” you offer. “oh, well that changes everything.” ted joked, smiles on both your faces. you feel your phone buzz next to you, and a picture of schlatt appears on your screen as he's trying to call you. you never mentioned to ted that you and him were still talking, let alone flirting. 

you look down at the screen and see his face and quickly turn it over, but not fast enough for ted to not see it. “i thought you guys were zero contact.” ted commented. “um, we were, but i broke it last week so we’ve been talking again.” you lied. you and schlatt stayed in contact since you broke up, and both of you were hiding it from ted. “oh well, good for you,” ted moves to get up; there’s a noticeable shift in the mood, “i’m gonna go to bed, i’ll see you in the morning.” “wait, ted,” you sit up to grab his hand before he completely leaves your room, “listen, we’re just friends. Its all it is.” “yeah, i just think you could do better.” ted boldly notes, looking down at you from his standing position. your head cocks to the side at his comment, “and what, you think you can give me better?” ted huffs, amused; his hand holds your neck with his thumb at your jaw, “actually yeah. can i show you?” you take a beat, seeing the missed call from schlatt on your phone but feeling ted’s hand on your neck was intoxicating. your eyes met his, “ok, yeah. show me what you got.” that’s all it could for ted’s lips to crash into yours as his free hand held your waist and his other hand remained on your neck. 

you hold onto his hands and move your body so you’re right against him. his head moves to the side as you moan into the kiss. “wow, already worked up?” he teases. “shut up.” you bite back as he kisses down your neck. the hand on your waist moves to the side of your boob, waiting for approval to touch it. you help and move his hand onto it. your eyes roll back at the contact as he kneds your breast and brushes your nipple. your hand moves to his neck to tilt his head back up to yours as you continue to kiss him. as you do, you reach down to your shirt and remove it, leaving you just in your underwear and sleep shorts. ted looks down at you again and feels lightheaded. “fuck, i need to be inside of you or something. please, can i fuck you.” he just about begs at this point. “get to it, teddy.” and he does, almost ripping his shirt, shorts, and underwear off and pulling your body to the edge of the bed as you lay with your back on the bed and your legs hanging over the side. you can feel how hard he is on your thigh as he leans down to kiss you again. you pull your legs up to remove your shorts and underwear, which are soaked at this point. you toss them into the pile of sleep clothes that will be sorted out in the morning. 

ted’s cock grinds on your clit while he’s kissing you. you lift your hips up and feel his tip against your entrance and moan into his mouth at the contact. ted pulls away, a sly smile on his face, “yeah? you’re absolutely soaked for me baby.” “god, please, i need you, ted,” you babble with your eyes closed, head back, and hands on his chest. “yeah? what do you need from me? hmm?” he’s playing it up at this point, making you ask for everything you need. your eyes open, glassy and full, and look at him, “please i need you dick in me, i wanna feel you teddy.” you plead. “well, since you asked so nicely-” he enters you, and you can feel every vein on him. your mouth falls open, and ted kisses around your neck, keeping an eye on you to ensure it’s not too much. your hands wrap around his shoulders, and he enters more of himself into you. you relax into the bed until you take all he’s giving you. ted draws away from you, keeping hands on your hips as he thrusts so gently and lovingly into you. “fuck, oh my god, ted. feels so good,” is all you’re able to get out as your eyes roll into the back of your head from pleasure. ted grabs your hips tighters as he tries you slowly fuck you rougher, “yeah? feels good, this pussy keeps on cliching down on me so i have to be doing something right.” he thrusts sharper into you, and you see stars as your back arches. all you can hear is his gentle praises of “so good baby,” “so fucking pretty,” and “so goddamn tight on my dick honey,” the moans you’re exhaling, and the sounds of ted’s skin slapping into yours. this continues until you feel a buzz in the bed and reach for your phone. in a foolish move, you flip your phone screen up, and it’s schlatt calling you again. ted sees this happen and speaks up, “answer it.” your head snaps to ted and starts to shake. you cant muster anywords, so he takes the phone from you. a feeling of relief washes over your body as you relax again, only for ted to tell you, “don’t let him know we’re fucking.” answering the call and hands the phone to you. his rough thrusts turn into slow drags of his cock against your wall as your shaky hand takes the phone from him and puts it up to your ear. “hey schlatt.” you answer, only able to focus on ted as he watches you try and keep your composer. “hey toots, whatcha up to?” he replies. “um nothing,” you pause as you feel your core start to tighten as your legs move to rest your heels on the bed frame, “um nothing, just hanging out with ted.” your mouth opens to let out a silence moan. “cool, you guys doing anything tonight?” he asks. “nope, i was, fuck, i was about to go to bed, so you ca-called at the right time.” you tell schlatt as ted’s hands are holding your legs to your chest continuing with his deep thrusts. “i’ll letcha go then, good night, love you.” he tells you, waiting for you to parrot the statements back to him. “yeah, um good night, talk to you later.” you quickly hang up the phone then push it away from you. “fuck i need to come ted. please ted, please, please.” you beg. “so good for asking, come on baby, come for me on my cock.” you feel your pussy tighten on ted as you feel a warmth enter you. ted is still lazily thrusting into you as he leans down to whisper, “you were super tight on my cock when you came, sweetheart. Did it feel good?” god, if you could come again, you would when ted called you, sweetheart, no one had ever used that pet name before for you, and it felt like you were being warmed from the inside out when he used it. 

your reaction doesn’t go unnoticed by ted smiles, kisses your cheek, and draws away again. his cock leaves you, and as you’re about to whine and complain, you feel his tongue lapping at your combined cum spread through your folds. your hand finds purchase in his hair as you grip and pull him in more. ted pulls his head away as you look at him confused. “just trying to clean you up, sweetie,” he tells you with a sickly sweet smile, and he rises to get back into bed with you. you reach to pull the covers down and then over both of you, snuggling into each other. ted kisses the side of your head as he relaxes into your pillow and lets sleep take him. everything he felt for you was expressed through his moment of passion, and he would gladly expand on it in the morning. you were left with your thoughts before you nodded off, and the only thing you could think of was ted and the weight of his body next to yours.

//••//•-/•-••/•••/---//•-••/---/•••-/•//••-/•-•//•--/••/••-•//-/•/-••//-•/••/•••-/••/•••/---/-•//

(years of scouting paid of for this very moment)

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -- -.-- / .-- .. ..-. . / - . -.. / -. .. ...- .. ... --- -.

.. -- -- .- / --. --- / .--. . --. / .... .. -- / -... .-. -... <3

Bro couldn't be me (I fell asleep at like 2 am after watching multiple slimecicle vods 😮‍💨)

Also it's 7am for me and I have winter break like wth is going on why am I awake and thinking about men in a definitely not heterosexual way 😭😭😭😭😭

So is this me hello?? (its 1:24 for me but still..)