Just Wanna Put It Out There:

Neither enemies to lovers nor slow burn but a secret third thing called Schrödinger's intimacy. We are in love and we are not in love do NOT open that lid I swear to God.

I love the hair braiding trope, but there is some serious debate about whether it's dwarves who have the hair-braiding customs or elves, so I'm here to settle that once and for all.

Legolas, hoping they just seem friendly and doesn't know dwarves have the same hair customs: Hey Gimli, could I help with your hair?

Gimli, hoping he just seems friendly and doesn't know elves have the same hair customs: Uh, sure!

Aragorn, who knows that hair braiding is romantic for both elves and dwarves: ......... WHat

right, so this is odd but I just had the WEIRDEST revelation and went what if I made Michael Yew trans, gave him a massive self-hate arc when he hits puberty and make Jake the best boyfriend ever for just being awesome through it?

...

so I did.

and I can't be asked to make a proper story out of my random chunks of writing to put on ao3 so I'm posting it here lol

just... don't question where my brain went with this, it's cool, I'm insane

😎 👍🏻

first bit is a lil angsty and cringe bc I havent edited properly but the rest is basically crack and chaos

~~~

Jake wasn't all that surprised when he found Michael in their tree, staring at the sky miserably. Instead, he sat beside his boyfriend and joined him in watching the clouds. "What's up?"

Michael sighed heavily, muttering something under his breath that Jake didn't catch. He raised an eyebrow at the son of Apollo, and the archer huffed, covering his face with his hands as he spoke.

"Maturing."

Jake paused. "Sorry?"

His boyfriend groaned, rubbing at his eyes and refusing to look at Jake. "I'm maturing."

"Right. And...? Isn't that what everyone does as they get older?"

"No. Well, yes, but like..." He sighed, spitting it out. "My body is maturing and I hate it."

Jake stopped, realisation washing over him. "Oh. So, you're..."

"Menstruating." Michael said through gritted teeth. "And it sucks. It doesn't feel right. Also, hip curvature equally sucks."

He looked at the son of Apollo, faintly befuddled. "Hip curvature?"

Michael groaned, then sat up and pulled his shirt tightly around his waist, and Jake paused as he spotted what the archer had been hiding under loose t-shirts and hoodies.

Oh.

His boyfriend's hips had indeed curved, forming a slim waist and slight hourglass figure that most girls would die for. Michael, however, looked absolutely miserable about it, seemingly under the impression Jake might be put off or horrified by the change, but the son of Hephaestus just looked at his boyfriend and noted how it accentuated his natural beauty. He gently moved to wrap his arms around the other, carefully pulling the archer into his lap, and found his hands fit just perfectly in his boyfriend's curves, meaning he was easily able to hold the smaller boy, and it felt right. Michael had tears in his eyes, and Jake pulled him closer, resting his head on the other's shoulder as the son of Apollo refused to meet his eyes, staring out into the trees stubbornly.

"I think you're beautiful." He hummed, pressing a kiss to the archer's jaw, and Michael blushed, but still avoided eye contact, seemingly embarrassed as he sniffled quietly. Jake smiled and cupped his boyfriend's chin, turning his face to look at him. "Hey. I don't care that your hips are curvy, or that you're on your period, or any of that shit. Actually, I do care, and I think it makes you even more beautiful. This," He slipped his hands under his boyfriend's shirt, tracing his fingers along his boyfriend's sides and outlining his curvy figure. "Is not something to be ashamed of. I love you for who you are, and that will never change, yeah?"

Michael smiled slightly, then sighed, looking at himself in disgust. "I'm a girl."

"No you're not. And if you are, I'll love you just the same. Doesn't matter to me."

Michael snickered slightly at that. "Are you seriously saying you'd turn bisexual just for me?"

Jake smirked, shrugging. "Yup. I'm yours, no matter what."

His boyfriend looked at him for a minute, then grinned, leaning forwards to kiss him. "I don't deserve you."

"Likewise."

"I'm still a boy, though."

He grinned. "Good. Thought so."

Michael snickered, then sighed and looked back down at himself, frowning. "But this still isn't good."

"Why?"

"The bone structure isn't as strong." He said, matter-of-factly, and Jake smirked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"So, it makes you more delicate?"

Michael sighed, rolling his eyes. "Technically, yes."

"Good to know. Guess I'll have to be extra gentle." He grinned, and Michael slapped him lightly, huffing, but there was a smile twitching at the son of Apollo's lips.

"Shut up. I'm not fragile."

"Only to me."

"Shh. I'm fine. See?" He hit himself in the ribs, hard, and Jake paused, grabbing his boyfriend's hands and looking at him, unimpressed.

"Don't hurt yourself."

"I'm fine."

"Please."

Michael looked at him for a moment, then sighed and nodded, leaning his head on Jake's shoulder. Jake smiled, moving his hands back to the other's waist, secretly loving the feel of his boyfriend's curves, not disgusted in the slightest by the change, and instead enjoyed the way the son of Apollo did feel more delicate, in contrast to his normally hard, stony exterior. Michael was unbelievably strong in some ways, but in others he was much more fragile, particularly mentally, and Jake sometimes had to take the initiative, not that he minded, because in times like this, Michael let himself be taken care of, and the son of Hephaestus enjoyed it.

~~

He soon found out that the only downside to reassuring the son of Apollo that he loved the way he looked, was when Michael used that to his advantage, and managed to twist Jake into a complete mess, simply by losing a bet.

Michael had reluctantly informed him earlier in the day that he'd managed to lose a bet with Kayla, and she was making him pay the price at campfire. Therefore, Jake was expecting his boyfriend to be forced into playing his guitar during sing-along, or telling bad jokes onstage, or something else the son of Apollo would greatly dislike.

He did not expect him to walk in wearing his sister's clothes.

Michael was dragged into the amphitheater by a giggling Kayla, the son of Apollo wearing skinny jeans, a crop top, and his camp necklace tied around his bow, with only the bronze pendant Jake had given him on show. Jake felt his brain short-circuit as he looked at the other boy, noting how ridiculously good Michael looked in those clothes, with his slim figure and tanned skin shown off brilliantly. Nyssa whistled quietly next to him, nudging her brother in the ribs.

"Kay mentioned she was giving Mikey a glow up as punishment for losing, but I didn't think she'd be able to get him looking that good. Damn, when did he grow into his height like that?"

Jake just stared, completely and utterly entranced by the other boy. Kayla soon spotted him gaping, and nudged her brother, gesturing to Jake and grinning. Michael turned and spotted him, instantly blushing scarlet when he noticed the son of Hephaestus staring at him, and he smirked, winking at the other boy, which absolutely did not help with Jake's current state of mind. Nyssa snickered and poked him.

"Dude, you're basically drooling over him right now, you know that?"

Jake slowly peeled his eyes off his boyfriend, face bright red in embarrassment as he looked away, instead meeting Nyssa's eyes as his sister smirked at him. "I- shut up." He blushed, and Nyssa grinned.

"Wow. You really are a simp."

"Shut up! I just... didn't expect it. He looks good, though."

His sister smirked, looking back at the son of Apollo. "True. Since when did puberty hit him, my gods."

Jake snickered. "About a month ago. He was really upset, got his period and everything."

Nyssa winced. "Poor guy. Confused?"

"Nah, he knew what was going on. Just embarrassed, mostly. Disgusted by himself, which I wasn't okay with, but I think we've sorted it. He had to go to Ellie for period advice, which he was not happy about either."

"Hm. A late bloomer, clearly."

"Apparently so."

"He's grown into it, though. If he was a girl, he could totally pull that figure off. Damn."

"Yup." Jake was staring again, and he knew it. Michael seemed to be finding it endlessly amusing. Nyssa suddenly poked him again.

"Not gonna lie, I don't think you're the only one checking him out." She hummed, nodding to a boy that had slipped through the crowd to sit next to Michael, eyes trained on the son of Apollo's hips and waist. Jake scowled as he sat down beside Michael, much too close for anyone's comfort, and quite clearly started flirting, trying to touch the son of Apollo and wrap an arm around his waist. Michael, however, was not amused in the slightest, and Jake could see him snapping at the other boy and pushing him away. The camper didn't seem to get the hint and kept pushing, until Michael rolled his eyes and pointed to his necklace, then at Jake, who was glaring the guy down, resisting the urge to punch his face into a wall. Michael seemed quite amused by the angry fire blaring in his boyfriend's eyes, and eventually managed to shove the camper away, but Jake could still see far too many eyes on his boyfriend, and it made him grit his teeth. He'd never been a massively jealous person, but right now he was feeling seriously possessive; the urge to walk over, make out with the archer and hold him tightly, clear to everyone that the son of Apollo was his, becoming very strong in the back of his mind.

He just about managed to avoid that until the end of campfire, and then as everyone was packing up, the other boy just grinned at him and disappeared back to cabin seven, leaving Jake fuming as he returned to cabin nine. Jackass.

~~

"Hey."

Jake was sitting against one of the trees bordering the lake, just relaxing and watching some of the younger campers splash around in the water, until he heard a very familiar voice and looked up.

That was his first mistake.

Michael was stood next to him, grinning and leaning against the tree, wearing a similar outfit to the night before with low rise skinny jeans and a slightly cropped shirt. He was still wearing his bronze pendant, with his bow slung over his shoulder, and the son of Apollo looked absolutely amazing. Jake just stared at him for a moment, then shook his head and quickly looked away, training his eyes on one of the trees on the other side of the lake. Michael snickered, flopping down next to him, and Jake groaned internally. This wasn't going to end well for him. Michael just laughed. "Are you ignoring me?"

"No." Jake replied, continuing to stare at the trees. "Just not looking."

"Why?" He could hear Michael's grin in his voice, and he knew the other boy knew exactly what he was doing to Jake. Asshole.

"Because I can't have a conversation with you if I can't think straight. Literally."

Michael snickered, shuffling up so they were shoulder to shoulder, and Jake sighed heavily as the other boy spoke, smirking. "Do you like it?"

He huffed. "Too much, along with half of camp." He grumbled, and Michael snickered again.

"Jealous?"

"Unbelievably jealous. I was about ready to punch that guy last night."

He snorted. "Wasn't the nicest guy, I'll be honest. Bit touchy."

"Looked it."

"You wanted to kill him, didn't you?"

"Just a bit. Gods, I don't know what the fuck you've done to me, but I completely stopped working last night. You melted my brain into a puddle of sappy thoughts."

Michael laughed at that, but Jake had noticed a new camper, roughly their age, quite clearly checking Michael out with a smirk. He muttered something to his buddy, and then they were both staring at the son of Apollo and oh, Jake felt the possessive urges return. He just about managed to keep a cap on it, but Michael saw right through him and snickered, nudging the son of Hephaestus teasingly. "You alright there, Tool Boy?"

"No." He growled.

"And why's that?"

"Because there's about five other people checking you out here, and it's pissing me off."

"What are you going to do about it?"

He turned and saw the son of Apollo grinning at him innocently, and Jake sighed heavily, knowing the archer had got his way quite easily here, but he couldn't bring himself to care too much.

"Jackass." He muttered as he leant forwards, and Michael laughed as they kissed. It wasn't as long as Jake would have liked, considering there were about ten little kids in view, but it certainly did the job as Jake spotted several shocked or annoyed looks when they pulled away, much to his amusement. Michael snickered, and the son of Hephaestus hummed, gently grabbing the smaller boy and pulling him onto his lap before he could protest. Michael smirked, leaning back to look at him as Jake wound his arms around the archer's waist protectively, and Jake shrugged, smiling.

"Someone feeling a bit possessive?" The son of Apollo teased, grinning, and Jake hummed, watching the guys that had been checking Michael out huff and walk away, rolling their eyes. Good.

"Possibly. You're absolutely fucking beautiful." He murmured, resting his head on the smaller boy's shoulder, and Michael blushed brightly, but smiled.

"Does that mean I should borrow my sister's clothes more often?" He smirked, and Jake huffed.

"If you want me worked up into a complete mess on a daily basis." He grumbled, moving his hands to hold his boyfriend's waist, rubbing his thumbs along the other's sides and tracing his curves. "I'm glad you're embracing this, though."

Michael shrugged, humming and leaning into the son of Hephaestus' touch. "I thought over what you said. And then Carly walked in when I was changing and completely

freaked and made me play dress up with her and Kayla."

Jake snickered. "You enjoyed it, didn't you?"

"Hm." He shrugged. "Carly supposedly figured out what my best colour is or some shit. And apparently Kayla had wanted to put me in a bunch of random different outfits for a while now, so she loved it."

Jake smirked. On the one hand, it was hard to imagine Michael willingly playing dress up with his sisters, but on the other hand he knew the son of Apollo would do anything to see his siblings smile, so it wasn't all that surprising. "And what did Carly say your best colour was?"

"Green, apparently."

"Do you even own anything green?"

"Nope. I have no idea how she figured that out, but she made me wear a green shirt and... yeah, I kinda see her point."

Jake raised an eyebrow at that. Michael was never one to ever think he looked good in anything, particularly with his history with his body, but if he thought he looked decent in green... That was interesting. He wondered what magic Carly had done to make the son of Apollo like wearing something.

"Interesting. Is that another thing that's likely to make my brain fry?"

Michael snickered. "Yeah, probably."

"I'm happy you think it looks good on you." He grinned, pressing a kiss to the smaller boy's jaw, and Michael blushed.

"Shut up."

"Nope." He smirked, pressing another kiss to his boyfriend's jawline. "You're beautiful, and perfect, and amazing, and I'm the luckiest person ever because I get to date you and those losers don't."

Michael blushed brightly, his ears tinting red, and Jake grinned, amused by the reaction. Michael rolled his eyes, but kissed him anyway. "You're such a sap."

"You love it."

"Shut up."

~~

Jake frowned as he walked past the Apollo table at breakfast, noting Michael wasn't there, and looked at Lee in confusion. The older son of Apollo grimaced.

"He's back in the cabin. Not feeling well."

That made Jake frown. Michael rarely got sick- and never that badly either- it was a side effect of being the son of the god of sickness, so either Lee was lying, or his boyfriend was embarrassed and hadn't given his brother the true reason for why he was staying inside.

Jake popped in the Apollo cabin after breakfast to check on him, and found Michael curled up in a pile of blankets on his bed, holding his stomach and looking absolutely miserable. Jake walked over and carefully climbed the ladder, sitting next to the archer, and Michael looked at him for a minute, then sighed. "I'm fine, don't worry."

Jake raised an eyebrow. "If you were fine, you'd be outside. What's up?"

Michael huffed. "It's just- ugh." He winced, leaning forward slightly and wrapping his arms tighter around his waist in pain. Jake looked at him in concern.

"What is it? Why are you...?"

His boyfriend groaned quietly, head now on his knees as he rocked back and forth slightly.

"Nothing. Just..." He sighed. "Cramps."

"What, like stomach cramps, or- oh." Understanding dawned on the son of Hephaestus, and Michael groaned again, nodding.

"Yeah, fucking period cramps. Shit."

"Bad?"

"Really bad. I couldn't walk earlier. Lee did a scan and told me there wasn't much he could do, I just have to wait it out. Fuck-" He groaned again, cursing. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck."

Jake winced, then looked around the cabin, searching for something. He hummed when he spotted what he was looking for, climbing down off the bed and walking over to grab a beanbag stuffed parrot. He wasn't sure whose it was, but he knew it was microwaveable, and that's all that mattered. He walked over to the small microwave they kept in the corner of cabin seven, used for reheating things or making hot packs for injuries, and plopped the parrot inside, pressing start. Michael looked at him in confusion.

"What are you doing?"

He shrugged. "Nyssa uses a hot water bottle to combat hers. Figured a parrot might work the same."

Michael raised an eyebrow. "You're microwaving Carly's parrot?"

"Mhm. The bean filled ones are like hot packs, just covered in fluff. Harls has a dragon one that Niss steals every so often."

The microwave beeped, and he pulled the parrot out, now very warm, and walked back over to Michael's bed, climbing up and flopping down next to the son of Apollo, passing him the parrot.

"Try it."

Michael looked at it. "What, I just hold it?" Jake smirked.

"No, you put it where it hurts, dummy."

"Oh. Right."

Michael took the parrot and placed it just below his stomach, curling back up again and humming happily. Jake smiled. "Better?"

"Yeah, actually. Thanks."

"Anytime. I am gonna get you a beanbag animal now, though. I don't want Carly to kill me for stealing hers."

Michael rolled his eyes. "I can get one myself, you know."

Jake smirked. "Where's the fun in that?"

Michael elbowed him and he snickered, then looked up as the door to the Apollo cabin opened and the rest of Michael's siblings walked in, not even noticing Jake and Michael until Sam turned and spotted them, grinning and placing his hands on his hips. "Mason. Are you trying to make a move on my brother?"

Michael rolled his eyes as Jake blushed. "No, dumbass."

"Oh, really?" Carly grinned. Jake smiled.

"I borrowed your parrot for Michael's cramps, hope you don't mind."

She looked at him for a minute, then smirked. "Ah, you're here on boyfriend duties. I see. It's fine, I use it for that anyway."

Michael huffed, and Ellie smiled, walking over and reaching up to ruffle his hair teasingly.

"Feeling better than earlier?"

He sighed. "Ish."

"Are they like, a stomach ache, or more like someone stabbing you?" Austin asked casually, flopping backwards onto his bed, and Lee suddenly grinned, moving to rummage through a cupboard in the back of the cabin.

"Why don't you try it?"

Kayla looked at him. "Sorry?"

"We have a machine that replicates the pain of a period cramp, because I convinced Chiron it could be useful for teaching people about why they are a valid excuse to skip on things."

Jake snorted. "To teach the Ares cabin, you mean?" Lee shrugged and Ellie hummed.

"Not Clarisse. She gets them bad."

Lee suddenly pulled a box out of the cupboard, blowing the dust off and smiling. "There it is. It has different settings, so why don't we get the people that experience them to put up their normal setting for the rest of us to try?"

Carly smirked. "Sure. I'll go first."

Lee explained how it worked; putting a pair of pads just below your stomach under your shirt and turning the knob up a notch at a time to reach the average pain scale. Carly hummed and placed the pads below her stomach, then turned the dial up slightly. She continued for a few notches until she started wincing, then stopped. "Five."

Kayla snatched it next, placing the pads on herself instead and turning up the dial until it hit her average and she winced. "Yeah, five."

Ellie was an eight, and Michael said that apparently he'd reached a break in his cramps, so he'd give it a go. The son of Apollo scrunched his face up as he turned the dial, flitting straight past five and eight, up to ten. There were fifteen notches on the scale, and Ellie stared at him as he grimaced in pain, taking the pads off quickly. “Ten.”

“Ten??”

He winced. “Yeah.”

Austin wandered over, picking it up off Michael’s bunk and walking over to Lee. “Can I try?”

Lee smiled at him, gesturing for his little brother to sit beside him on the bed as he talked him through it. Austin made it to a four, and he winced, looking at Kayla.

“Yeah, I see your point.”

She hummed, nodding, and Ash grabbed the machine next, him and Sam sitting on Sam’s bunk and messing with it for a bit. Ash made it to seven, grimacing, and Sam looked at Jake quickly. “Do you want to go next?”

Michael snickered. “Give it to Jake last in case he blows it up.”

Jake looked at him. “Seriously? I’m not that bad.”

“Jake, I’m surprised you haven’t seriously injured yourself yet with the amount of things you’ve accidentally blown up this month.”

“Harsh.”

Ash snorted, passing the device to Sam. “Just take it while they argue like an old married couple.”

“Hey!”

“Michael, he’s not wrong.” Kayla grinned, and Michael rolled his eyes, flipping his sister off and ignoring Lee’s dirty look at the action. Sam made it to eight, and Will got to six, then it was passed to Jake. He frowned as he turned it on, quickly noticing a problem with the electronics, and the rest of the room snickered as he pulled a screwdriver and a pair of pliers out of his pocket and quickly started fixing the problem, because it would annoy him if he didn’t. Michael grinned, taking advantage of his distraction, and flicked the dial straight up to ten. Jake yelped, doubling over in pain, and a small explosion occurred, blowing up the device. He sighed heavily and sat back up after a moment, glaring daggers at his boyfriend, who smiled back innocently, nodding to the machine.

“I think there’s something else for you to fix now.”

Jake huffed, swatting him on the head. “Jackass.”

“Language!”

“I thought you weren’t allowed to do that for me because you have no responsibility over me?” He smirked, ignoring the rest of Michael’s siblings laughing at the blown up device while Lee raised an eyebrow at the son of Hephaestus. Carly snorted.

“You’ve basically become an extra sibling at this point, you’re in here that often. Plus,” She grinned. “Brother in law counts, doesn’t it?”

Both Michael and Jake immediately blushed scarlet, and Michael waved his hands at his sister, scowling. “Slow down a bit, for fuck’s sake.”

“Language!”

“Fuck off!”

Kayla snickered. “Dibs on first speech at their wedding.”

Jake groaned as Will snickered. “Oh, come on-”

“When’s the date? Gotta get my suit ready.”

“Will, I will pin you to an archery target.”

“You can’t even move right now.”

“Won’t fucking stop me.”

“Language!”

“Piss off Lee!”

“Fine, but I’m walking you down the aisle.”

“Lee!” Jake groaned again, ignoring Lee’s teasing smirk. “Don’t encourage them! We’re fifteen and sixteen!”

“Oh yeah, you’re a pervert.” Carly nodded. “Preying on someone younger than you.”

Michael burst into laughter as Jake looked at the daughter of Apollo. “Carly, what the heck? I’m five months older, not fifteen years.”

“You never know.”

He scoffed. “You never know- yes, because I look like I’m thirty, clearly.” Michael was in fits of laughter, and Jake huffed, picking up the device and hopping off his boyfriend’s bunk, walking out the cabin and rolling his eyes at the teasing smirks. “Goodbye, I’m going to fix your machine. Michael, you better eat lunch.”

“Ooh, Mikey, you’ve been called out for starving.”

“Starving?? Bitch, how many meals do you think I’ve missed?”

“Language!”

“OH MY GOD I’M FIFTEEN!”

“AUSTIN’S ELEVEN!”

Jake snickered as he closed the door behind him, listening to the group bicker between themselves. Some things never changed.

comet is this michael’s fucking hoodie did you hurt us this way

-mediumgayitalian

THE CUTEST THING EVER

Thinking more about Sizeshifter demigods.

And just-

Shifter Jake.

When it first activated so to speak,it was when Jake had been freaked out during one of his first nights at camp. He'd had a nightmare, woke up frantic and instinctively tried to bury under his covers to calm down. He didn't realize he'd shrunk until Charles found him.

After he became lot more careful, trying to avoid it happening again. He didn’t really tell anyone about it. When Michael found out it was when Jake had gotten hurt during during capture the flag and had shifted in a panic once he was away from view.

Charles found him, but Jake couldn't get himself to shift back, so Beck took him to Lee for help. Michael happened to be there too and Lee had him keep an eye on him why he went and got supplies.

Jake was absolutely embarrassed, but Michael didn't say a thing about it. He just pressed a finger gently at his back, trying to numb any pain as he could with his ability (also yeah- the shifting part hurts, they don't have the same body as gods do, so it's straining even if it's natural part of them.)

Jake had already kinda started crushing on him, though he wasn't sure about it until then. After that he was crushing hard. Charles thought it was absolutely adorable.

Michael doesn't tease him as much about it. He's usually pretty gentle with Jake and understanding. Only ever so often does he make a light joke about finally being taller than him.

When Jake finally got the courage to ask Michael out,he panicked when Michael took a moment to respond and accidentally shifted, which only made his embarrassment worse.

Michael however immediately got to his level and gently picked him up.

"You never gave me a chance to answer, Mason."

Poor Jake's a flustered mess hdhdg

*deep sigh*

*walks into the room*

*sits at the table*

*slams hands on the table*

I need opinions

okay that was slightly more dramatic that necessary but I need serious opinions because I'm stuck and conflicted.

👍🏻

so! I am currently in the middle of writing a Michael Yew fic (surprise surprise) with large elements of Masonyew (surprise surprise it's like 90% of the content and they're nowhere near being together yet) and it's basically a very long fic that starts when Michael gets to camp at nine years old (my headcanon) and ends a few years after he comes back to life in some of my Michael Yew lives aus

right

that's the backstory

yes, that is a very long fic idea but I have it planned out and even though I'm only a minor section of the way thru I have hit a hurdle

here is where I need opinions

so, I may or may not have had a really weird idea and went

what if I made Michael type one diabetic and added that to his six mile long list of problems already, simply for character development

because I'm nice like that

so I'm currently warring with myself over whether or not to go thru with it because, I'm gonna be honest, I am not diabetic, nor do I know anyone who is diabetic, so all of my info has been researched heavily, but it's kinda in the name of diversifying camp half blood even more, because why not?

however, I'm not sure if by doing so I might be messing with his character a bit and maybe taking it too far, so I'm just gonna go ahead and go I need help

so, let's poll it

honesty is appreciated, if you hate the idea, please tell me

just try not to openly insult me, that would be appreciated

imagine being 15 (terrible) and you live in a basement and are only allowed outside every once in a while under strict conditions (isolating) and then you watch your father get literally torn apart by demons (traumatizing) and then a bunch of strangers inform you that you are genetically one of those cultlike child soldiers that your dad always warned you about (migraine inducing) so now you have to go to their weird house in the middle of nowhere and live with the other child soldiers (frightening) and then the brain short circuitingly attractive guy who held you at knifepoint keeps sleeping outside your door and he and his sister keep following you everywhere (SCREAM???) and then some college aged guy shows up while you're collecting stuff to sell when you run away and announces that not only are you a child soldier but your ancestors were like famous and he's basically jesus and also your only living blood relative, and then busts you for stealing and gives you a therapy speech about how you shouldn't throw your life away (HUH???????) and then a bunch of annoying bigots come into the house and keep yapping at you about their shitty ideology (migraine inducing part 2) and also the government is falling apart, you're having your bisexual awakening at a REALLY inconvenient time, there's some guy committing heinous crimes against nature to raise his girlfriend from the dead but then he dies and turns into a demon magnet, you get multiple concussions, and a bunch of strange arcane mystical figures keep ominously trying to figure out why you look familiar (WTF)

also it's been 1 week

A whisp of hair tickles his cheek, following the elbow resting on his shoulder. Lee glances over as Cass swipes the strands back behind her ear.

“So,” she says, very nearly dropping her plate. Lee reaches over and gently tilts it back upright. His sister Does Not notice.

He lets it fall. She doesn’t notice that, either. Rest in peace, Stale Piece of Olive Bread, Single Grape, and Sprig of Parsley (?). You will be missed.

“So,” Lee repeats. He follows her eyes, gaze landing on a frizzy mess of blond curls and vacant blue eyes. “…Ah. So.”

Cass’s fork twirls in the general direction of their new baby brother. Several other people in line at the braziers also look over to where she’s pointing, glance obviously back towards the two of them, leaning close, and then pretend to look away while very clearly straining to hear. What a place, Camp Half-Blood.

“We gotta fix that.”

Lee grunts. She’s right — rarely does he ever see a kid Will’s age so blasé and sad about camp for so long.

But.

The circumstances.

“We already talked to Luke, Cass.”

She waves a hand. Her fork very nearly misses his eye. Lee would like, for once, if she could maybe use perhaps one ounce of her prophetic abilities to be less of a klutz. “Eh, Luke doesn’t know everything. There’s gotta be something he didn’t try, something Will likes. I mean, I think I saw the barest little hint of a smile when Diana was cussing Michael out yesterday.”

“Achlys would smile at that,” Lee argues. “I mean, come on. He got flamed. It was embarrassing.”

“Fair, fair.”

Lee looks back at Will. He still sits at the edge of the Apollo picnic table, chin on the worn-smooth wood, poking vaguely at the food Diana got for him. There’s a decent spread — some of the roast chicken, some of the lemon potatoes, probably more vegetables than any eight year old would be willing to eat, but it’s not like they would know. Will barely eats anything. If it weren’t for the Twizzlers that keep disappearing from Lee’s stash under the floorboards, he would’ve stuck the kid on an IV already. It’s been weeks.

“We could maybe try the weapons rounds again,” Cass murmurs. “I know Luke did it on intake, but maybe —”

She glances over, peeking through the edge of her hair, and cuts herself off, mouth furrowing as she bites the inside of her cheek. The son of Hermes in question leans on one of his younger siblings, grinning as they shriek and complain, laughing as another kid empties out what looks like the entire camp stash of cutlery from her pockets. Lee’s not dumb — he saw the difference, too. There’s no demigod more kind and welcoming and determined than Luke Castellan, Lee knows it, Lee’s experienced it, but —

When Will came up Half-Blood Hill, he was sobbing. He scratched four other demigods trying to squirm his way back to where his mother was running back to her car, shoulders heaving with her own cries, face-tear streaked and laden with guilt as she watched him go. When Will was dragged to the Big House, he was there ‘til nightfall. When Will was placed, as all are, in Hermes, he didn’t leave the cabin for days.

Camp doesn’t usually see that. Luke doesn’t usually see that. And as much as the guy has seen everything, there’s nothing he can handle less than a demigod who desperately wants to go home.

It’s not something anyone brings up.

“We’ll give it a go after dinner,” Lee agrees.

It’s not a lot, but it’s better than nothing. It might help to get a tour of what Camp offers by someone a little more…qualified. Or enthusiastic, rather. Will’s eight, after all. What kind of eight-year-old doesn’t want to swing a real sword at a training dummy? Or, hell, at another eight-year-old? Not that there are many other eight-year-olds at camp this lovely April, but Annabeth is like…ten. Lee thinks. Eleven? Something like that. Maybe she’ll swing a sword around with the kid. She only tends to be lethal when someone is doubting her. She’ll probably be very lenient on someone who is just learning.

Well.

Like, one would hope.

Whatever. It’ll sort itself out.

He repeats it to himself as he sits down, plastering a wide smile on his face and meeting Will’s eyes. Will stares back, eyes big and dead, but Lee refuses to look away first, to look down. Eventually Will return his gaze to the brown mush he’s made out of his plate.

“Hi,” he hedges.

“Hey, kiddo.”

Will hums. From beside him, Diana sighs — that is the extent of what they usually get. A little more, actually. The hi was slightly more animated than usual. More like a single two-by-four than a rotting corpse, in terms of spirited greetings.

If Lee is anything, though, it’s annoying and persistent. It’s actually what led to his getting claimed last winter.

“You get something to drink?”

Will shrugs. Lee glances into his cup to see that he has not, in fact, gotten anything to drink.

“They’re enchanted, you know.” He taps his own cup. “Anything you ask for, you get. I get Green Apple Kool-Aid.”

“‘Cus you’re a freak,” Michael mutters. Lee shoves him off the table.

Will scrunches his nose. “…Enchanted cups?”

The look he levels in Lee’s direction is equivalent, he imagines, to the look the jury gave OJ Simpson on his first foray of the witness stand, but the allure of discontinued novelty drinks must be stronger than his suspicion, because he tilts his cup closer to him, thinks for a minute, and then says, “Coke.”

All three of them hold their breath. Even Michael, who is recovering from his recent trip to the ground. The cup slowly fills with sparkling amber liquid.

Will frowns.

“Hey,” he says, something akin to a pout taking over his face, “I asked for coke.”

The drink stops fizzing. It, too, seems to regard the young boy in confusion.

“That would indeed be Coke,” Diana says eventually.

Will scowls. (It is, probably unfortunately for him, a little bit adorable, because his cheeks are very pudgy and he has quite a lot of freckles and his whole face seems to scrunch with the movement. Like a baby hippo. Lee tries really very hard not to smile but it’s something of a losing battle, he thinks.)

“It gave me cola!”

Lee looks at Cass. Cass looks at Lee. Cass looks at Michael, then, and Lee looks at Diana, and they all kind of look at each other and envision the words what the fuck floating between them in wavy comic sans.

“That would be the case,” tries Michael. Lee can see that he tries very hard not to tack ‘you dumbass’ on the end there. Lee pats him on the shoulder in recognition for his efforts.

“I asked for coke!”

“Okay, let’s maybe back up a bit,” Cass thankfully says, before Lee can utter his very eloquent ‘huh’. “What are you asking for, hun?”

“Coke!”

“No, I — I, uh, I got that part.” She purses her lips very thoughtfully. “Are you thinking of, maybe, Diet Coke?”

“No! Regular orange coke!”

“Okay,” mutters Diana. “Okay, awesome, I love it when everything makes sense.”

“Orange coke!” insists Will again. And, like, yeah, they brought this on themselves. When Lee scraped off a portion of his food and prayed for more emotion from Will, he did not specify. He was under the unfortunate misconception that his father loved him and was not a sociopathic genie. That’s on him. But still. “The fruity one! With the orange lid an’ the F on the bottle an’ not the one with no bubbles! The coke one!”

“Are you thinking maybe of Fanta?” Cass says, finally. She makes a weird shape with her fingers. “Odd bottle shape? Neon?”

“Yes!” exclaims Will, visibly relieved. “The orange coke! The good one!”

The cup quickly ripples and changes into a liquid the approximate colour of their shirts, only harder to look at. Will narrows his eyes, drags it over, dips his tongue into it, and then lights up, chugging it down with the zeal and zest Aphrodite kids do cranberry juice.

“One thing they got right up here,” he says happily, wiping the sticky moustache off his top lip. He, for the first time, looks a little less like there is a giant aching hole in the centre of him.

All at once, Lee remembers the one time his mother took him with her to one of her conferences, deep down in Arkansas. They stopped for Wendy’s on the drive. Lee requested Coke. The cashier asked ‘what kind’. Lee stared blankly at her for a total of at least seventeen solid seconds before replying ‘uh, the…Coke…kind?’ and received a large disappointing cup of Sprite.

“Oh my gods,” he says. He now knows, he feels, at least an approximation of the shock Phaethon felt that one time. “You’re Texan.”

None of his siblings share in the euphoria of this realization. This eureka moment, really. Least of all Will, who seems to be wondering if he can, perhaps, put in a request to be claimed by another god with smarter children.

“Lee,” says Cass gently, “have you gotten dumber?”

“No, no, he’s Texan,” Lee repeats. “They’re like. They say weird shit down there.” He gestures at Will, who is rapidly shifting from bewildered to offended. Lee would feel bad if it wasn’t a little bit funny. “Coke means pop. Fixin’ means intending. Might could — actually, I’m not sure what might could means, and at this point I’m too afraid to ask.”

“It means might could!” Will cries. He throws his hands up in exasperation which would be better conveyed where his hands not still pudgy enough to have the little indents on the knuckles. Lee melts to the actual floor. “That’s like askin’ — askin’ what ‘the’ means! It means ‘the’!”

“Oh my gods,” breathes Diana, hand pressed to her mouth. “Oh my gods, he’s adorable.”

“What does ‘might could’ mean, he says! Nex’ thing I’mma hear’s gonna be some stupid Yank quest’n ‘bout y’all, I bet —”

There is a thump as Michael slides right off the bench. This time, Lee doesn’t even need to push him.

“Yank,” he wheezes, from the floor. There are real tears in his eyes. “You’re my favourite, kid, holy fuck —”

Will stomps his little foot. It’s so — tiny. Bite sized. The lights in the sole twinkle like crazy. He’s got Princess Leia on the heels.

Lee is going to melt into goo.

“Who authorized him to be this goddamn cute,” Lee whisper-yells. “Like, genuinely. Look at him.

“Believe me, I’m looking,” Cass says, smiling softly. She knocks their shoulders together, snorting as Will chokes on his own indignity, hollering something about and there’s no such thing as healthy brisket! how about that! til’ his freckly face glows.

“Oh, wait, shit, that’s real,” Lee says. “That’s — yo, he’s actually bioluminescing. Are you seeing this? I am seeing this.”

“Didn’t know that was something we could do,” Diana comments. She grabs her cup, empties it into Michael’s (making a truly — truly — rank concoction of milk and Mountain Dew, Lee physically recoils) and stares at it until it refills.

“Hey, Glowstick.”

Will freezes. The most affronted look Lee has ever seen on a child scrunches his squishy face. Cass coos. Michael starts cackling again.

“Who are you talking to,” Will demands, scowling.

Diana looks at him. She raises her eyebrows.

“You tell me, Johnny Storm.”

“That’s a — that’s a bad reference!”

“Just — here.” Diana slides over the cup before Will can get started again. “Here’s your coke, kid.”

Will squints at the cup for several seconds. Diana holds it out dutifully. Well, for a dutiful seven seconds before her arm gets tired, then she sets it down and moves her hand away.

“Mama says I’m not allowed two cokes in a row,” he says finally.

Lee glances over at Cass. She grimaces back.

Here we go.

Diana just blinks.

“What does your Mama say about throwing stones at people named Clarisse from the roof of the Big House?”

“She never mentioned.”

“Well, we’re allowed to do that here. The rules say you can have two cokes, too, if you want.”

Will screws up his face. He gnaws on his bottom lip. Lee holds his breath.

Finally, he takes the tiniest of little sips.

“I guess two cokes is kind of nice,” he says.

Lee smiles. He reaches over, paying close attention in case Will’s a biter — you never know at Camp Half-Blood — and ruffles the kid’s frizzy curls.

“Some good things about camp, huh?”

Will huffs. “It’s still not great.” He sets his cup down. His soda moustache sits at a firm handlebar. Cass muffles a snort in her hands. “But not bad for a bunch of Yanks.”

Lee decides that he will take that. A stubborn, sarcastic Will is better than a miserable one. They got time. They’ll get there.

Plus, when Michael takes a mindless sip of his Surprise Concoction and sprays it all over Diana’s face, hacking and cussing up a storm, Will even smiles.

Yeah. They might even get there soon.

thanks for the tag! <3

Hdgshsgshsghs it's so cuteeee

and concerningly accurate I do love baking

npt! @bowsinhair @the1astolympian @fel1ra @owls-can-read @pain-is-too-tired @starberry-muffin @starryssunflowers @bleep-bloop-boo and anyone else!! <33

haaii i saw this quiz n i immediately thought abt u ! https://uquiz.com/quiz/fOjkwO?p=5742788

Ahh this was fun! Thank you for sharing!

Which Little Jellycat are you?

I got this and it is accurate...