I constantly have it in my mind that Gillion is three years older than Chip. Gillion, yes, Gillion mother fucking Tidestrider, is the oldest of the albatrio.
It's funny on a base level, Gillion is oldest yet the others need to babysit him. Gillion is the oldest but he knows the least. Haha.
It's less funny if you think about Chip being 8 years old, happy with the black rose pirates and then Gillion. Gillion who is eleven and training to be a weapon for others.
It's less funny if you think about Jay, 12 and spending time with her mom and sister. Gillion, 13, who can't remember his mom and almost expects his sister's hugs to hurt because the only contact he gets is hit over the head for failing again.
Chip, 14, Jay, 16, able to act out and cause trouble, because they're teenagers, why not goof around? And then Gillion, who's 17 and told to be an adult and act like it. But he can't change how he acts, because being mature has always been the standard expectation, he doesn't know how to be an adult when that's already what he's been his whole life.
Chip, 18 and he is scared to kill someone because killing is bad. Jay, 20 and her sister is dead and she is heartbroken. Gill, 21 and he is already used to killing, and he never sees his sister anyways, and he ruins his life. He ruins his life doing wha he thought was right, doing what they taught him to do.
Gillion is three years older than Chip, a year older than Jay. And it seems insignificant until you think about those years being stolen from him. It took Gillion 22 years to be free. Chip was free off and on, he had a childhood, Jay was never held back, she had a childhood.
Gillion didn't.
Moonbathing
the beast charms everyone with no exceptions!!!! ehehehe
Chip has moved in the shadows his entire life almost, he only stood out when he wanted to- when he knew he needed to.
Because he's a thief first and foremost, a bastard, with silent footsteps and the ability to dodge impossibly- to avoid and sneak past at every turn.
But when Jay and Gillion entered the scene, that changed.
When he looks at them he must admit he shines a little brighter, grins a little wider, stands a little taller- but it's not just that... Jay and Gillion are the sun and the moon, and when they turn to look at him, no matter how he tries to hide, to blend in to his surroundings, they always find him. Left, right and centre.
And it makes him feel vulnerable. But it makes him feel seen.
It's a terrifying feeling, having those eyes pierce through him and skewer him right through the middle. The one defense measure he's used his whole life, the thing that's kept him alive all this time- stolen away from him in the blink of an eye, in the turn of a head and the shine of a smile.
Yes, it feels a little bit like dying- but doesn't it also feel a little like love?
For the first time since he was taken on board and given a family, a sister; all of who were torn away from him, he is being looked at like a living, breathing, feeling thing.
Like running out onto the sunlit deck with not a fear in the world, like watching moonlight glimmer on the ocean and hoping to one day swim down there and feel it, like defeating his sister in their play battle and reigning victorious, King of the overseas, King of it all.
That feeling is distant to him now, hidden from the sun for so many years, staying far away from the chill of moonlit waters. All this time, it's felt unfair to him to know that he is alive when they are not. So he avoids sensation, avoids the gold and silver the world offers him freely.
Until he find the gold of a girl he can't help but run with, the silver of a boy who's hand is cool in his, as he helps him breach the surface of the swaying ocean.
Jay drags him out onto the sunny deck to spar, to dance, to laugh and navigate their course together.
Gillion grabs his hand and pulls him down into the cold midnight waters, pulling him through glimmering waves and showing him even more beautiful things he's never seen underneath it all.
Sometimes he wonders, when he sees Gillion pray or Jay drift, when their eyes begin to glow and magic seems to spill from their lips, seeping out of the corners of their mouth, if their goddesses ever missed him- if they ever noticed his absence, or more prominently, his return.
How I sleep knowing both Arthur and John said they love one another.
Weird peeve time. Calling lab grown gemstones “fake” is stupid because it’s the same shit just not formed naturally. An artificially grown diamond is the same shit as a natural diamond it is the exact same material bro it’s all fuckign carbon
so i've been thinking abt the circumstances of gillion's banishment (as one does) bc it Doesn't Make Sense cuz like,,, idc how fucked up the elders are or how much they may have hated gillion, why would you banish the chosen one over something like attacking a navy officer- the very thing you spent seventeen years telling him to do??? you wouldn't. you've spent almost two decades training this kid to be your perfect little weapon, you wouldn't throw him out for acting like the weapon you turned him into. for acting on the instinct that you programmed into him- especially considering gill attacked jayson because he could literally smell the evil coming off of him. you wouldn't give up an unquestionably loyal guard and literal holy figure for the sake of a bad deal with the very people you HATE.
so now I wonder. I wonder if sending gill to the oversea is just another fucked up test. I wonder if the elders lied to him about his banishment, and used him attacking a navy officer as an excuse to throw him into this test. to see if he could survive on his own.
When Lucifer is hanging out at his palace and can't get a moment's peace...
do NOT expect a consistent blog this is just my silly place
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