Merusfandomcorner - Meru's Corner

it's me and the four people on ao3 who understand my favorite character in the exact same way against the world

“female characters often have weaker writing compared to male characters” and “audience is unable to appreciate female characters no matter the quality of the writing because they subconsciously see female characters as women first and people second” are two statements that can, should and will coexist

the sinner's finale

【I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye. 】 ​​​​

Happiness Will Come To You.

blocked because your interpretation of that character doesn’t match the way they act in my bedtime narrative i imagine when i’m falling asleep every night

“Ah, to be young and feel love’s keen sting”

Another one for Sparknotes

❤️ for Jean/Kaeya please!

Thank you for the ask! <3 This got unintentionally long and unintentionally angsty--I went "why not cute teenage shenanigans?" and then thought about. uh. where Kaeya was at backstory-wise as an older teen--but I did have fun writing it!

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Kaeya's favorite part of Father's parties is probably the chance to see Jean and Diluc dance. It's not the only part he enjoys, but it's the best.

Whenever he gets tired of watching Father manipulate the politics of the Wine Guild, which in many ways are the politics of Mondstadt itself, Kaeya turns his gaze to the dance floor. Diluc and Jean are most often there, sweeping around and around, until they gather up food from the buffet and come to join him by the wall. Kaeya thinks that he *likes* dancing more than they do--but he, the adopted younger son, holds little interest to the sorts who come to these affairs, while both of them, heirs to the city's most powerful families, are much in demand. So they dance, with all the trained-in skill of nobility and all the athleticism of the Knights' best junior officers, and Kaeya watches.

They don't always dance with each other; that way lies rumors that they both find uncomfortable to have bandied about. They meet every three or four songs, though, both visibly relieved to be dancing with someone who won't invade their space or flash too much skin or stomp all over of their feet. Kaeya watches them spin each other around and basks in their relaxed smiles, admiring the confidence with which they move while partnered with someone they trust.

Confidence comes naturally to Diluc, with his early Vision and his subsequent strength and Father's praise and encouragement. It's more difficult for Jean. Kaeya has watched her hide her struggles, well enough that he doubts many people realize she's struggling at all. He's too familiar with keeping secrets, though, for someone with so honest a heart as Jean to conceal them from his gaze. So the confidence he sees in her now, back straight, standing tall, smiling at Diluc as fellow-captain and equal and no longer the junior struggling to be his match, makes him all the gladder. Fond warmth fills him as he studies her smile.

He watches them dance until the song ends, and then turns and starts making his way to the buffet table. He isn't hungry at the moment, but he will be later, and they'll be even more so. Another hour and people will be drunk enough that all three of them can sneak away to a back room and dissect the canapes together.

Before he can start to assemble a plate, though, there's a hand on his shoulder. Turning, Kaeya sees Jean behind him, bright-eyed and flushed with exertion, a light sweat making her skin seem to glow. She smiles at him, that same proud confidence, but even more eager.

"Kaeya! I haven't seen you all evening. Can I talk you into a dance?"

"A dance?" Kaeya stares at her, taken aback. "I was going to get us a plate."

"Diluc can do that for us this time. Please, Kaeya. Honor me with a dance."

Jean holds her hand out to him, but Kaeya still hesitates. Diluc has tried before to get him more dance partners, one way or another. If this is another such attempt--showing the would-be gold-diggers that he's worth Jean's attention, maybe--then he's not sure.... But he does like to dance. And Jean's eager smile is slipping away.

"Of course," he says, bowing over her hand in a deliberately silly exaggeration of Father's smooth gesture and smiling in satisfaction at her giggle. Then, her smile restored, he lets her lead him onto the dance floor.

The song just starting up is exactly his favorite sort: quick and energetic, accompanied by a dance that requires exactly the sort of precision and speed at which he excels. He knows it better than Jean, he quickly realizes, and shifts his grip on her hand and the lean of his body to guide her slightly without dragging her around, which he knows she hates, or stepping on her feet, which anyone would. Jean follows his lead with the same dedicated focus with which she's always followed Diluc's as a knight, determined to learn the same expertise. By the third chorus she no longer needs a guide, matching him exactly, step-by-step.

"You should dance more often," Jean tells him as they move into the last verse of the song. "You're truly very good at it."

"Only when I have such an inspiring partner," Kaeya ventures to tease her, and is rewarded when she giggles, promptly missing a step.

Catching herself, Jean falls back into the rhythm. She draws herself a little closer as the music fades, the two of them swirling to a stop. On the last step, though, she somehow trips on empty air, catching herself on Kaeya before she can fall.

They're in a shadowed corner, fortunately, out of sight of all but the closest couples, none of which are paying her misstep any heed. Kaeya puts his arms around her and takes her weight for a moment while she sorts herself out, trying to ignore the warmth of her pressed against him and the softness of her breasts against his chest. She's his friend; she deserves better than to feature in his inappropriate thoughts.

Instead of pushing away from him as she regains her balance, though, Jean leans closer, their face only inches apart. "I'd be happy to be your partner. Whenever you'd like," she whispers, and leans in. Her lips brush his, soft and warm and faintly sweet-scented from the perfume she's wearing, underlaid with familiar knightly sweat. Kaeya's heart seizes in his chest.

He's an idiot. She hadn't *tripped*.

For a moment he stands there, her lips against his and his arms around her waist, breathing in the scent of her, sweet cecilia and natural sweat. It isn't an inappropriate thought if she meant him to have it, right? She's so warm against him, all soft skin and well-honed muscle, and he thinks of her smile--confident, eager, relaxed--her little giggles, how easy both of them are to bring forth. He likes doing that. He *wants* to do that, as often as he's able. He's never realized that before.

Then, over her shoulder, he catches two familiar faces halfway across the ballroom. Diluc, paused in the act of filling a plate with canapes, smiling with far too much self-satisfaction for something he's not in the least involved in as he looks directly at them; beside him Father, at once calculating and indulgently pleased, following his gaze. Kaeya's stomach drops.

Both of them will feel betrayed enough, someday, when they find out what kind of traitor he is. He can't add Jean to their number. Straightening up, Kaeya lets go of her and pushes her gently back, hands on her shoulders as if to steady her, and makes himself smile politely down at her wounded expression.

"This was more than enough dancing for me. Diluc makes by far the better partner for you, anyway."

Jean swallows hard, her lip trembling, eyes damp with what Kaeya is terribly afraid are tears. Then she blinks, once, and draws herself up, covering it not with a false smile of her own but with a Gunnhildr's knightly composure.

"I understand. I will not trouble you to dance with me again."

She turns towards the table, starting that way, though from the side Kaeya can see her deliberately evading Diluc's now-confused gaze. He watches her go a moment longer, his resolve shaky. He's hurt her, and he didn't want to do that. He doesn't want to hurt anyone he loves.

But he doesn't have any choice in that. He never has. The only options were to break her heart now or later, and now is kinder, right? For them both. Kaeya turns away, heading blindly for the back rooms of the mansion, not to meet her and Diluc for canapes and casual conversation this time but to hide away until Jean leaves. And to try and forget the feeling of her mouth on his, the warmth of her lips still lingering upon his own.

have you ever been 15 and there's this guy who's obsessed with you and you don't know why but you figure, it's only because he thinks he can't have you and honestly he's a bit of an arsehole but mostly towards your best friend. and yes, your best friend doesn't always act right but you've known him since you were kids and you know he can be good and he is, he so often is, but hangs out with the wrong people, that's it. but then he goes and betrays your trust completely and you can never forgive him because you told him so many times that he needed to open his eyes but he never did. and actually the arsehole who's obsessed with you is the opposite. he listens, he changes. and you start to realise, he knows you. while you ignored him (for all the good reasons) he's been paying attention and knows what you like, what you're like, and what you think is right or wrong. and he wants to be good for you, the best version of himself, so you give him a chance and you start dating and all of a sudden you're involved in his friend group that is not really a polycule but is certainly extremely codependent? happened to my good friend lily evans

While I do think eventually Kabru would be okay with Mithrun and Milsiril dating, I think that at first he would have some regrets over encouraging Mithrun to discover new desires if one of these desires turns out to be a desire to fuck his mom (understandable)