my beautiful princess with a disorder
#dungeonmeshi
I want to talk about why I think this is the one of the most important Falin panels:
So, Falin is really nice, right? It's one of the first things we really learn about her. She's kind even to the monsters of the dungeon - choosing to ward the party rather than fight spirits and cause them needless harm.
In the above early flashback in chapter 11, we see Marcille fawning over Falin's kindness, calling her an angel. Namari calls her soft-hearted. We see Falin choose not to fight even when a zombie attacks - instead she resolves the confrontation with a hug. After the flashback, the first thing Senshi says is that Falin "sounds like quite the person," which Marcille strongly affirms.
At this point in the story, all we have seen of Falin are these impressions; she is a healer, an angel, a caretaker with an infinite well of kindness towards everyone she meets - both friend and foe.
And honestly, that remains most of what we have to go by to understand her. The only times we get to see Falin on the page, alive and just herself, are in the opening and closing pages of the story and in the brief period of time after she is resurrected.
Nonetheless, we do have some more details to work with. For one, there is the scene that The Panel is from - a short memory in chapter 75, when Marcille flashes back to while she's dying. In that scene, Falin prepares to teleport them all out, and says that she's sorry "if there is a person at [their] destination." And that's when we get The Panel.
If you teleport someone or something into another person, the person teleported into is likely to be, at minimum, severely injured. They could die.
We can see a lovely little horrifying example of exactly why in one of the Daydream Hour doodles:
So, hmm. That's not... that's not SUPER nice. Certainly not displaying the same "kindness to all, friend and foe included" we saw represented earlier. On a basic level, this adds some nuance to Falin's kindness. We see it break a little, when pushed to the limit. We see her chose to protect the people she loves above all else.
Which makes sense! As Laios says when the Winged Lion accuses him of similarly being motivated more by his friends' safety than everyone else in the dungeon, "...most people, aside from virtuous do-gooders, would feel the same way."
So, we can take The Panel as simply showing a moment of weakness for Falin. A time when she was pushed to her limits, and that "most people" selfish side of her shone through.
However... I think there's a little more going on with Falin than just her being an angel 99% of the time, except just that once. I love The Panel because I think it helps us understand that Falin isn't just motivated by kindness - she also has a desire to avoid seeing people in pain.
Isn't that the same thing?
No, no it very much is not.
Let's look at a short comic from the Falin section of the Adventurer's Bible, because I think it illustrates this point perfectly. The group is complaining about how much Marcille's healing hurts, and comparing it to Falin's, which "doesn't hurt a bit." Marcille retorts with the following:
Now, the punchline of this comic is that, despite Marcille's sentimental assertion that she's "thinking of [them]" by letting her healing magic hurt, they all still prefer to be healed by Falin.
But hey, this wouldn't be the first time that Dungeon Meshi hides a very real character beat or insight in a gag, so let's think about this somewhat seriously.
If Marcille is right (and she knows a fair bit about magic, so we can assume that she has at least somewhat of a point), then what Falin is doing isn't kind. I suppose if someone specifically requested to not feel the pain, it could be kind, but that's not really what happened here. She is the one who felt badly about the others being in pain, and she is the one who decided, without telling them or giving them a choice in the matter, to take away that pain.
Both Marcille and Falin are healing the party, but Marcille is doing it in a way that accomplishes the task in the most straight forward way, without any additional interference. Falin is going out of her way to perform the healing in a way she is more comfortable with. A way that avoids pain.
Going back the The Panel, I don't think its a coincidence that the only time we see Falin (well, non-chimera Falin) willing to do something that could hurt someone is when any potential pain will be far away from her. If she got someone hurt or killed by teleporting the party to the surface? Not only would it be far out of her sight, but she'd be dead before she had to deal with any consequences of that action.
Falin is not a confrontational person. She doesn't push when Marcille won't tell her the truth about the resurrection, and she comforts Laios about her own death - both of those things happening in the only full chapter she is alive and conscious in the whole story.
We also know that she considered accepting Shuro's proposal, despite not having any special feelings towards him, and that Falin never explained to Marcille that she wanted them to share a meal together. When she brought Marcille various foods at the academy, she just accepted Marcille's confused rejection and gave up.
And lastly, we know that she is still in contact with her parents, despite the neglect and abuse she suffered at their hands. Although the way someone chooses to handle contact with abusive or bad family is a complicated topic, which I don't want to overly simplify, I do I think this fact gets at the heart of how she handles conflict.
So many people that Falin loves have hurt her. There are understandable hurts, like Laios leaving the village, or Marcille not understanding the food. And there are bigger, far less justifiable hurts - like her parents neglecting her throughout her childhood, and sending her away to be alone at the magic academy.
It doesn't seem like Falin has ever confronted any of it directly.
And the unhealthy aspects of this kind of avoidance of pain and confrontation is one of the things that the story of Dungeon Meshi is all about. We see Laios grapple with it before he goes to kill Falin, and we see Marcille acknowledge it at the end of the story, when she tells Laios that she has come to terms with Falin's death:
Eating is a part of life. Consuming other living things is a part of life. It isn't really possible to avoid that pain - you can only hide from the truth of it. You have to be selfish everyday. You have to eat - to choose to live. To choose to take up space.
And this is something Falin embraces, too. She comes back to life, after all.
We see her choose to come back to life.
And how does she make that choice? She eats. She consumes, and then she is asked a question by the manifestation of hunger itself:
Do you want to eat more?
There is a double meaning in the Winged Lion's final words on the next page.
When I first read this, I took it as him saying: life is cruel. You will suffer. You will feel more pain.
But perhaps, especially for Falin, this also means: you are choosing a path where you must cause pain. Where you must consume. Where you must take, and must be selfish. Because eating is the special privilege of the living, and it is their burden, too. In order to stay alive, she will need to keep eating.
And she chooses that. Chooses to be selfish. It's why her resurrection scene is so important, and it's why The Panel is so important. Because Falin coming back isn't the ultimate reward for all of the party's hard work.
It's her choice. Just like it was her choice that started everything in the first place. But this time, she doesn't choose to accept causing pain for the sake of Marcille and Laios. She does it for her own sake.
Random compilation of that scattered clothes meme thing I did with twst characters, but with just the outfits I kinda liked from both attempts. And yes, I don’t have any sense whatsoever 😉 Rip to the ones that were originally too small so now their resolution suffers horribly lmao that’s my bad 🤡 480p ahh art
the other guys
Ko-fi
Certified dungeon meshi moment
Part 1
Floyd: Honestly, before comin' here, I was only expecting to see paintings of the Great Seven…
Floyd: But there's actually a ton of unusual and cool lookin' stuff, like paintings of all their underlings.
Floyd: What should I check out next…? AH!
Floyd: It's the eels who worked for the Sea Witch. Look at those glowing eyes and those sharp fangs… So cool~
???: Hey, hey, don't you think these two look alike? Are they brothers?
Kalim: Also, kinda feels like they're similar to you and Jade.
Floyd: Oh hey, it's Sea Otter-chan. Yeah, I guess we might have similar color scales 'n all.
Floyd: But it's not like Jade and me think we're actually similar to each other at all.
Kalim: Eh, really?
Floyd: Yeah. Sometimes people'll mess me and Jade up and can't tell us apart, but I really don't get how they can't figure it out.
Floyd: Back when I first came to the surface, there was this one time that I got some funny looks in a hair salon that I went into for a haircut.
Floyd: They cut it just the way I asked, but what they were saying just wasn't adding up. And then, when I went to pay, they said this:
Floyd: "Leech-san, your hair grows back very quickly. I only just cut it a moment ago, I'm so surprised that it grew this long already."
Floyd: Yeaah, I'd say I was the one who was more surprised. This was my first time, but they said "a moment ago." Isn't that weird?
Kalim: Eh? What does it mean? Did you lengthen your hair with magic?
Floyd: Nah, come on, think. It was my first time in the shop, but…
Kalim: Ah, no way…!?
Floyd: Did you finally figure it out, Sea Otter-chan? Yeah, basically, Jade went and got his hair cut from the same place right before I did.
Kalim: I get it. So basically, the stylists there thought you two were the same person.
Floyd: Yup. Guess they didn't realize it because we both made the reservation under the name "Leech."
Floyd: Before that, even, when I went to get my passport photo taken to come to the surface, something similar happened.
Floyd: I'm like, seriously, how do they not realize it? Everyone's so bad at details.
Kalim: Wooow. I thought it'd be fun to have a twin sibling, but I guess it's not always great.
Floyd: Not really? Just like you said, there's a ton of fun that comes out of it.
Floyd: I'm never bored when Jade's around. Also…
Floyd: If I ever randomly feel like wearing something completely different from my usual stuff, I can just borrow stuff from him, from the clothes down to the shoes.
Floyd: Me 'n Jade like different colors and styles of clothes, and even go to completely different clothing stores.
Floyd: I can swap up my style in a snap, so it's actually pretty cool.
Kalim: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like a blast!
Part 2
Kalim: The King of Beasts here looks like he's relaxing, what a great painting~!
Floyd: Oh, there's an explanation next to it. It says, "This depicts the scene where the hornbill chamberlain is soothing the King of Beasts with a song."
Floyd: Huuuuh. So even lions relax while listening to music, huh.
Floyd: They say that this king was always strategizing, so maybe it was important for him to have his relaxation time, huh.
Floyd: Y'know, Sea Lion-senpai's the same, but aren't lions always just sleeping?
Floyd: I thought they were supposed to be ferocious, but even when I went to the zoo as a part of our land boot camp, they were all asleep… That was a major letdown.
Kalim: Hm? What do you mean by boot camp? Did you attend somewhere else other than Night Raven College?
Floyd: Yeah. Uh, so basically, the land boot camp is basically where the merfolk that're lookin' to come up to the surface go to study and practice stuff about land.
Floyd: You live there for a month, and they do a ton of different lessons, like how to walk, or how to live on land.
Kalim: Wow, that sounds really cool! So, what kind of stuff did you learn at the zoo?
Floyd: Uhhh, something about figuring the differences out between land animals? I have a super hard time telling apart animals that look similar, so.
Floyd: At first, I thought a giraffe was just a horse with a long neck, and I couldn't even tell the difference between foxes, dogs, and racoons.
Kalim: FOXES AND DOGS AND RACCOONS~!? BUT THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!?
Floyd: Are they? They're all fuzzballs to me.
Floyd: But I could tell that an elephant was different from horses and the like, because it wasn't all fuzzy.
Floyd: Oh yeah, and the lions too. I thought all those cats I'd run into would one day grow large like them.
Kalim: EEEHH!! You'd mix up cats and lions too? I don't think I've ever seen cats with a mane…
Kalim: Ah, but… I guess I can't say anything. I used to think that when dolphins grew up, they turned into whales.
Floyd: Huuuh~? No way that'd happen. Why'd you think the name'd change like that?
Kalim: I don't really know, but I think I can get how someone who was raised in the ocean could believe that a cat would grow into a lion.
Floyd: Yeah, yeah. I bet if one of you surface dwellers came to the ocean floor, there'd be a ton of stuff you don't know, too.
Floyd: ―Oooh! That painting over there looks awesome. I'ma go check it out.
Kalim: Oh, which one? …HEY, FLOYD! WAIT FOR ME, I'M COMING TOO!
Part 3
Floyd: The color composition in this painting's super amazing. The blue sky with the golden bug is a perfect combo.
Kalim: It's a painting of the Sorcerer of the Sands and a scarab! Both his posture and expression is really cool.
Floyd: I heard that this golden bug thing was the key to finding a magical cave… Why'd they make it look like a bug?
Floyd: Wouldn't that be hard to figure out? Insects and keys look nothin' alike.
Kalim: Hmmm, well, maybe… Maybe they tried to make it hard to figure out on purpose.
Kalim: They say there was some legendary treasure inside the cave. So I guess it's because no one would ever think a little bug would be the key, right?
Floyd: I get it. So then, if this was the ocean, the key might've been in the shape of a shell, or a crab.
Floyd: I bet it took the Sorcerer of the Sands a long time to find that magic cave because of that key.
Floyd: Or maybe, he was actually enjoying the treasure hunt?
Floyd: I know I get more excited tryin' everything I can to get my hands on something. The more difficult the better.
Kalim: What, have you gone treasure hunting too, Floyd?
Floyd: Not really treasure, but a ring.
Floyd: I once found this silver ring online that looks like an eel is wrapped around your finger.
Kalim: Woah! I've never seen a ring that looks like that before! I bet it'd look good on you.
Floyd: Riiight? But the manufacturers had already discontinued it. I wouldn't be able to find it so easily.
Floyd: And when something is hard to get… doesn't it just make you want it more?
Floyd: So, after that, I went looking for it, big time.
Floyd: I went 'round to a bunch of second-hand shops that carry the brand, and even asked my pops to reach out to some of his connections who'd know about stuff like that.
Floyd: I get bored pretty easily, so I usually don't try that hard trying to find just one thing. Cool, huh?
Kalim: You must have really wanted it, then! So? Were you able to find it?
Floyd: Yup. One of pop's connections was able to find it and get it for me.
Floyd: When I put it on, it totally felt like the ring was made just for me! And I got super attached to it.
Floyd: So then, I wore it pretty much all the time after that, even when I exercised or took showers…
Floyd: It ended up getting a ton of scratches, and got all tarnished, man~
Floyd: Silver stuff tends to degrade pretty quickly if you don't take care of it, but the ring's design was a bit complicated, so it was way too annoying to clean.
Kalim: Then, what if you remake it in platinum or white gold? They don't tarnish that easily. I can introduce you to one of my family's craftsmen!
Floyd: Naaah.
Kalim: Eh, why? I thought that was a pretty good idea…
Floyd: C'mon, Sea Otter-chan. I was all happy because it was hard to get my hands on.
Floyd: If I had someone make it for me, then that's not the same thing.
Floyd: It's 'cause it took a ton of hard work and searching for it was fun that I like that specific ring.
Floyd: Maybe it's a pain to clean, but I like it. So I'll use it until it breaks.
Kalim: Searching for it was fun, huh. I guess I never thought of it like that.
Kalim: Okay then, well, let me know if you're ever in a bind again. I'll totally help you then!
Floyd: 'Kaaay. I think I'm bored of this floor. I'm gonna go somewhere else. Bye, Sea Otter-chan.
Kalim: Yeah! See you later, Floyd.
Floyd: Hmmm, what should I look at next… Ooh. I've seen this painting of the Mer-King before, back in the ocean~
Floyd: I think they said that he was a super good guy, but could be unreasonable, too… Ugh, stubborn leaders like that sound like a paaain.
Floyd: Yeaaaah... The best kinda boss's gotta be someone like the benevolent Sea Witch.
popping back in for a couple seconds, because I am obsessed with these two throwaway characters from the last new year's bit. I need to know more about this fancy overdramatic theater kid and IT nerdling's more-likely-than-you'd-think friendship.
(brb, building an entire mental headcanon around these random characters who will literally never appear again. they have a whole sitcom together...in my heart.)
Part 1
Floyd: Honestly, before comin' here, I was only expecting to see paintings of the Great Seven…
Floyd: But there's actually a ton of unusual and cool lookin' stuff, like paintings of all their underlings.
Floyd: What should I check out next…? AH!
Floyd: It's the eels who worked for the Sea Witch. Look at those glowing eyes and those sharp fangs… So cool~
???: Hey, hey, don't you think these two look alike? Are they brothers?
Kalim: Also, kinda feels like they're similar to you and Jade.
Floyd: Oh hey, it's Sea Otter-chan. Yeah, I guess we might have similar color scales 'n all.
Floyd: But it's not like Jade and me think we're actually similar to each other at all.
Kalim: Eh, really?
Floyd: Yeah. Sometimes people'll mess me and Jade up and can't tell us apart, but I really don't get how they can't figure it out.
Floyd: Back when I first came to the surface, there was this one time that I got some funny looks in a hair salon that I went into for a haircut.
Floyd: They cut it just the way I asked, but what they were saying just wasn't adding up. And then, when I went to pay, they said this:
Floyd: "Leech-san, your hair grows back very quickly. I only just cut it a moment ago, I'm so surprised that it grew this long already."
Floyd: Yeaah, I'd say I was the one who was more surprised. This was my first time, but they said "a moment ago." Isn't that weird?
Kalim: Eh? What does it mean? Did you lengthen your hair with magic?
Floyd: Nah, come on, think. It was my first time in the shop, but…
Kalim: Ah, no way…!?
Floyd: Did you finally figure it out, Sea Otter-chan? Yeah, basically, Jade went and got his hair cut from the same place right before I did.
Kalim: I get it. So basically, the stylists there thought you two were the same person.
Floyd: Yup. Guess they didn't realize it because we both made the reservation under the name "Leech."
Floyd: Before that, even, when I went to get my passport photo taken to come to the surface, something similar happened.
Floyd: I'm like, seriously, how do they not realize it? Everyone's so bad at details.
Kalim: Wooow. I thought it'd be fun to have a twin sibling, but I guess it's not always great.
Floyd: Not really? Just like you said, there's a ton of fun that comes out of it.
Floyd: I'm never bored when Jade's around. Also…
Floyd: If I ever randomly feel like wearing something completely different from my usual stuff, I can just borrow stuff from him, from the clothes down to the shoes.
Floyd: Me 'n Jade like different colors and styles of clothes, and even go to completely different clothing stores.
Floyd: I can swap up my style in a snap, so it's actually pretty cool.
Kalim: Ahaha, yeah, that sounds like a blast!
Part 2
Kalim: The King of Beasts here looks like he's relaxing, what a great painting~!
Floyd: Oh, there's an explanation next to it. It says, "This depicts the scene where the hornbill chamberlain is soothing the King of Beasts with a song."
Floyd: Huuuuh. So even lions relax while listening to music, huh.
Floyd: They say that this king was always strategizing, so maybe it was important for him to have his relaxation time, huh.
Floyd: Y'know, Sea Lion-senpai's the same, but aren't lions always just sleeping?
Floyd: I thought they were supposed to be ferocious, but even when I went to the zoo as a part of our land boot camp, they were all asleep… That was a major letdown.
Kalim: Hm? What do you mean by boot camp? Did you attend somewhere else other than Night Raven College?
Floyd: Yeah. Uh, so basically, the land boot camp is basically where the merfolk that're lookin' to come up to the surface go to study and practice stuff about land.
Floyd: You live there for a month, and they do a ton of different lessons, like how to walk, or how to live on land.
Kalim: Wow, that sounds really cool! So, what kind of stuff did you learn at the zoo?
Floyd: Uhhh, something about figuring the differences out between land animals? I have a super hard time telling apart animals that look similar, so.
Floyd: At first, I thought a giraffe was just a horse with a long neck, and I couldn't even tell the difference between foxes, dogs, and racoons.
Kalim: FOXES AND DOGS AND RACCOONS~!? BUT THEY'RE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT!?
Floyd: Are they? They're all fuzzballs to me.
Floyd: But I could tell that an elephant was different from horses and the like, because it wasn't all fuzzy.
Floyd: Oh yeah, and the lions too. I thought all those cats I'd run into would one day grow large like them.
Kalim: EEEHH!! You'd mix up cats and lions too? I don't think I've ever seen cats with a mane…
Kalim: Ah, but… I guess I can't say anything. I used to think that when dolphins grew up, they turned into whales.
Floyd: Huuuh~? No way that'd happen. Why'd you think the name'd change like that?
Kalim: I don't really know, but I think I can get how someone who was raised in the ocean could believe that a cat would grow into a lion.
Floyd: Yeah, yeah. I bet if one of you surface dwellers came to the ocean floor, there'd be a ton of stuff you don't know, too.
Floyd: ―Oooh! That painting over there looks awesome. I'ma go check it out.
Kalim: Oh, which one? …HEY, FLOYD! WAIT FOR ME, I'M COMING TOO!
Part 3
Floyd: The color composition in this painting's super amazing. The blue sky with the golden bug is a perfect combo.
Kalim: It's a painting of the Sorcerer of the Sands and a scarab! Both his posture and expression is really cool.
Floyd: I heard that this golden bug thing was the key to finding a magical cave… Why'd they make it look like a bug?
Floyd: Wouldn't that be hard to figure out? Insects and keys look nothin' alike.
Kalim: Hmmm, well, maybe… Maybe they tried to make it hard to figure out on purpose.
Kalim: They say there was some legendary treasure inside the cave. So I guess it's because no one would ever think a little bug would be the key, right?
Floyd: I get it. So then, if this was the ocean, the key might've been in the shape of a shell, or a crab.
Floyd: I bet it took the Sorcerer of the Sands a long time to find that magic cave because of that key.
Floyd: Or maybe, he was actually enjoying the treasure hunt?
Floyd: I know I get more excited tryin' everything I can to get my hands on something. The more difficult the better.
Kalim: What, have you gone treasure hunting too, Floyd?
Floyd: Not really treasure, but a ring.
Floyd: I once found this silver ring online that looks like an eel is wrapped around your finger.
Kalim: Woah! I've never seen a ring that looks like that before! I bet it'd look good on you.
Floyd: Riiight? But the manufacturers had already discontinued it. I wouldn't be able to find it so easily.
Floyd: And when something is hard to get… doesn't it just make you want it more?
Floyd: So, after that, I went looking for it, big time.
Floyd: I went 'round to a bunch of second-hand shops that carry the brand, and even asked my pops to reach out to some of his connections who'd know about stuff like that.
Floyd: I get bored pretty easily, so I usually don't try that hard trying to find just one thing. Cool, huh?
Kalim: You must have really wanted it, then! So? Were you able to find it?
Floyd: Yup. One of pop's connections was able to find it and get it for me.
Floyd: When I put it on, it totally felt like the ring was made just for me! And I got super attached to it.
Floyd: So then, I wore it pretty much all the time after that, even when I exercised or took showers…
Floyd: It ended up getting a ton of scratches, and got all tarnished, man~
Floyd: Silver stuff tends to degrade pretty quickly if you don't take care of it, but the ring's design was a bit complicated, so it was way too annoying to clean.
Kalim: Then, what if you remake it in platinum or white gold? They don't tarnish that easily. I can introduce you to one of my family's craftsmen!
Floyd: Naaah.
Kalim: Eh, why? I thought that was a pretty good idea…
Floyd: C'mon, Sea Otter-chan. I was all happy because it was hard to get my hands on.
Floyd: If I had someone make it for me, then that's not the same thing.
Floyd: It's 'cause it took a ton of hard work and searching for it was fun that I like that specific ring.
Floyd: Maybe it's a pain to clean, but I like it. So I'll use it until it breaks.
Kalim: Searching for it was fun, huh. I guess I never thought of it like that.
Kalim: Okay then, well, let me know if you're ever in a bind again. I'll totally help you then!
Floyd: 'Kaaay. I think I'm bored of this floor. I'm gonna go somewhere else. Bye, Sea Otter-chan.
Kalim: Yeah! See you later, Floyd.
Floyd: Hmmm, what should I look at next… Ooh. I've seen this painting of the Mer-King before, back in the ocean~
Floyd: I think they said that he was a super good guy, but could be unreasonable, too… Ugh, stubborn leaders like that sound like a paaain.
Floyd: Yeaaaah... The best kinda boss's gotta be someone like the benevolent Sea Witch.
Octavinelle in cookie run???!!!! waaaa???!!! (still haven't played cookie run)
pst @lukaka-arte i used ur suggestion 👀
poll under cut
not to be annoying but i do think a lot of people mischaracterize falin. shes got the most drastic canon v fanon thing going on. which i guess makes sense bc 1. we dont see much of her and 2. lot of the fan stuff are anime-onlies that have seen even less
but i think like a good 90% of the time i see falin-centric art or posts im like hrm hrm hrm thats all wrong no nope no-siree
she's just a cool chick that takes life as it comes, doesn't hold grudges even against a mother that apparently was trying to beat the magic outta her, finds her older brother the coolest person in the world, and has autism about observing life (and death, she loves the ghosts she has a connection to) and nature and taking care of things (including taking care of her brother, which is why she's even in the dungeons; she saw her scrawny mess of a brother and decided she had to fix that).
and i think my favorite part that people don't talk about is... she would have done the same for marcille or laios if it were one of them that was eaten. you could see it in her eyes:
it's what shuro misunderstands about her. it's easy to see her feminine, cute, good girl pieces and forget the rest of her. but she loves things to an ends-of-the-earth extent; the kind of caring that makes you a little insane. and that's how I think she and laios end up on the same page with their weirdness. they have different interests, but they are the same level of committed to those interests.
it's easy to love her, because she probably loves you just as much, if not more.