Thinking About How When You Experience A Lot Of Shame In Your Formative Years (indirectly, Directly,

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

More Posts from Microcheap and Others

4 years ago

Reblog if you're not homophobic

Every url that reblog’s will be written in a book and shown to my homophobic dad. 

5 months ago

A group of rough looking boys walked past me today and all I heard of their conversation was “he’s got that anxiety disorder bro so I went with him so he’d be more comfortable” and it made me realise the world isn’t all that bad

4 years ago
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually
This Is So Great. Fuck Toxic Masculinity. We Need Something Like This Stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually

this is so great. fuck toxic masculinity. we need something like this stateside (x) | follow @this-is-life-actually

2 years ago

Hi Mr. Gaiman, I've seen a few tweets and posts about not crossing the picket line for the WGA strike but nothing actually explaining what that entails for this strike? Is it not watching streaming services since that's one of the main issues? All tv? TV and movies? only new stuff or reruns too?

No, it's to not cross the picket lines literally. If there's a writers guild picket in place, you don't cross it. (But you can always join it -- especially if you are in LA or NYC.)

The WGA hasn't called for a boycott of streaming services or TV or anything like that, and until and unless they do I wouldn't push for that.

What the WGA would like is for people to make their support for the writers clear and loud -- write to the networks you watch on and tell them to treat their writers fairly, post your support on every social media outlet you can. Let the producers know that public opinion is against them.

1 year ago

I am a chronic turn signaller. People will be like “there’s no cars around.” Wrong, I’m

1. letting pedestrians know.

2. I’m doing this in case I missed a car or person somewhere, or

2b. I’m gonna be stuck at this intersection til a car or person shows up

3. It makes it a habit

1 year ago

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess


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7 months ago

“Oh how do you stay positive when the world is so awful how can you stay positive when our lives are falling apart-“ SPITE!!!!! ITS SPITE GODDAMN IT!!! REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE ANGRY AT THE WORLD AS A TEENAGER?? THAT KID WAS RIGHT AND YES IT FUCKING SUCKS AND NO, ITS NOT FAIR, SO YOU HAVE TO KEEP TRYING TO MAKE IT FAIR!!!!

7 months ago

for the love of god, do not use chores to punish your kids!!!! it's just going to make them struggle deeply to keep their houses tidy as adults since you made them associate necessary chores with punishment and suffering, and it's going to take years of therapy to undo. don't use chores as punishments!!!

1 year ago

Nothing is more devastating than this. The UN World Food Program has officially suspended aid delivery to northern Gaza, citing violence and lack of safety as major reasons the aid trucks aren’t getting through. Israeli officers are liberally shooting at Palestinians who try to approach the trucks in hopes of getting even the smallest morsels of food, despite the fact that Israel has allowed only one crossing for the already woefully low numbers of aid they’re permitting entry. Reportedly this number has fallen from 140 a day in January to just 60 a day this month, and now 16% of all Gazan children under 2 are “acutely malnourished.” Meanwhile, the US vetoes a call for a ceasefire for the third fucking time. It’s so inhumane in its cruelty it’s actually shocking to see it being allowed to go on and on, and on an international level no less.

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