Im Just Feeling A Certain Way Rn

Im just feeling a certain way rn

Stanford Filbrick Pines

Palabras: 4,338

Extracto: Él era tan pequeño a su lado, podía caber en la palma de su bidimensional mano y pelar capa milimétrica por capa milimétrica para hacer lo que le diera la gana con la materia prima y los residuos. Goce previo en este momento repulsión por lo sentido.

Maldición escrita: Vi a alguien que pedía esto en Tiktok y lo hice. Descripciones de locura y más locura, comportamiento suicida, manipulación, paranoia, tipo de trauma religioso, representaciones explicitas de autolesión (pensamientos y acciones) y tal vez temas más delicados, ten esto en cuenta, MDNI. Esto es básicamente mi testamento en donde confieso que necesito terapia, me la pasé busque que busque sinónimos para esto. See ya darlings!

Translated version-English

Caminaba entre nieblas de un limbo penumbroso… si es que hace sentido dicha descripción tan vaga, ponía mi atención a cada paso que daba pero no lo sentía, casi como si de un sueño se tratase hasta que esta fue redireccionada, algo se escuchó a lo lejos y me pregunté qué podría ser. Cargaba consigo un aire siniestro, tintes perversos que goteaban de manera flemática, lo prohibido,la tentación, el pecado que tal como su pasaje sedujo a acercarme, así, poco a poco no sólo era un cántico insólito sino también un olor particular, una sensación que erizaba la piel pero como todo aquí estaba lejos de comprender.

El tiempo se distorsionó y mi mente cayó en una espiral de la que ni siquiera sabía que había entrado hasta que al verme en un reflejo lúgubre una realización develó, era yo.

Ese olor, ese sonido, todo… no era más que mi propio cuerpo, aquel recipiente vacío y a su vez putrefacto que anda sin rumbo a la espera de un final pero incluso si sucumbiera ante las garras de la mortalidad, sé que mi cadáver no sería más que veneno para esta tierra que ahora maldice mi existencia. Suplico misericordia aún si no soy merecedor y cómo hereje recibo cruel castigo que acecha en lo más profundo de mi ser, lo que desde un inicio me carcome, lo que me llevó a este estado.

Un simple acto como el desliz de unas cortinas se sentía tan traicionero, le estaba dando la espalda y dejándolo a la deriva. Se lo merece, después de todo lo que hizo era absurdo que pensara que recibiría alguna defensa de su parte. Colocó el recordatorio de la herida recién hecha en la basura y trató de conciliar el sueño pero en ningún momento pestañeó, los minutos pasaban ignorantes a su situación y emociones tan abrumadoras que parecían burlarse sin decoro. Había encontrado una motivación que se esfumó a la misma velocidad con la que llegó, tenía que hallar otra meta, un propósito, algo que le diera lo que siempre ha añorado.

Los días transcurrieron sin algo recalcable, una rutina ciega y cansada entre pasillos, salones y su dormitorio con el cambio irregular de ir a la biblioteca o las charlas con su compañero de cuarto, con quien compartía ciertas aficiones. Se trataba de convencer que lo disfrutaba que a pesar de ser un resultado no esperado podía sacarle provecho y demostrarse a sí mismo que los demás estaban equivocados, que él era mejor.

Al tomar la decisión de vivir en Gravity Falls fue cómo si esa pequeña llama luchara por seguir incandescente y quisiera hacerse más grande. Podría tomarse como una huída de su hogar de cierta forma, kilómetros y kilómetros de distancia entre sus padres lo cuál no hace mucha diferencia de lo que era en Backupsmore.

Todo era distinto, una nueva vida a la cuál no dejaría que nada ni nadie la estropeara. Y así fue por bastante tiempo, no había día o noche en la que no encontrara alguna cosa fascinante, una distracción y un alivio temporal a sus pensamientos que más le abatían pero luego, tal rosa, se empezó a marchitar y los pétalos cayeron. Dejando de nuevo un apetito voraz.

¿Y qué pasó cuándo la serpiente se le acercó? Cayó en el engaño. Tan desesperado por una pizca de reconocimiento, la aceptación… ¿Y qué persona podría resistirse ante un ser más grande que su propia existencia? Era todo un honor ser el predilecto de tan excelsa presencia, un ser poderoso que sí respondía a sus ruegos, a sus dudas, donde creía caminar en el mismo piso que este y no por debajo como por tantos años fue con los de su especie, por fin era un igual.

Un caída en picada hacia la veneración.

La noche era más pálida que la propia luna, sus emanaciones se trabucaban al pasar por los vitrales con motivos que con mi propia voluntad repartí por toda mi morada. Inmerso en mis inscripciones Bill merodeaba en el mismo espacio y cututeaba de cosas a las que no les prestaba suficiente cuidado ya acostumbrado a sus acciones. Al terminar mi último trazo coloqué la pluma a un lado y cerré el frasco de tinta para dejar reposar y por lo tanto secar el contenido de la página.

"Oye, Seis dedos" giré mi cabeza y lo primero con que se encontraron mis ojos fue con el triángulo reflejando mi apariencia, arqueé la ceja hasta que prosiguió "Apuesto que no esperabas encontrarte con alguien tan guapo, ¿Cierto?" río para volver a su color, chasqueó los dedos y me apuntó "¿Entendiste mi juego de palabras?", "Claro que lo entendí, es algo bastante simple para no hacerlo" ajusté mis lentes antes de cerrar mi diario , levantarme de la silla y caminar para dejarlo en el estante junto a los otros libros de mi colección.

"Te demeritas mucho, ¿No crees? Date un poco de crédito" giró sobre sí mientras avanzaba conmigo "Me doy crédito, sé cuando las cosas son fáciles, Bill" volteé mis ojos y salí del cuarto, en las escaleras estaba atrás de mi "Eso es porque eres muy inteligente y perceptivo, no cualquiera lo hubiera entendido la primera vez o la segunda" ante estás palabras sonreí pero no por mucho ya que el día me había agotado bastante para utilizar mis músculos. La cabaña tan solitaria como el día que se terminó de construir, por una parte era tranquilizador no tener que lidiar con esos ruidos resultado de hábitos molestos de otras personas pero por el otro lado se llegaba a sentir de más la soledad… por lo menos tenía a Bill a mi lado, aún si llegaba a desesperar pero muy rara vez. Tal vez debería realizar una estadística sobre eso.

"Es mejor así como estás si me lo preguntas" volví a escuchar su voz pero esta vez no le miré, bajaba escalón por escalón hasta por fin llegar a la planta baja "¿De qué hablas?" realmente no tenía idea, "Nadie te merece, Ford" aquella confesión me intrigó ahora en la cocina dónde no prendí el foco y sólo abrí uno de los cajones de la alacena por un vaso "En serio, digo, sólo mírate seis dedos; atractivo, inteligente, gracioso, organizado. Eres muy bueno para los demás" se puso en mi campo de visión y cruzó los brazos "Y dudo mucho que te conformarías con eso de todas formas".

Las circunstancias que llevaron a tan fatal encuentro…

Cerré mis labios y me quedé callado, sus palabras como gasolina para que pensamientos y especulaciones se anidaran en mi cabeza "Eso nunca lo sabremos, son acontecimientos contrafácticos y situaciones hipotéticas"tomé del vaso que previamente llené de agua "Además, suena como si fuera un narcis…", "Oye, oye, para tu carro amigo" Bill empujaba y jalaba sus brazos en el espacio entre él y yo "No lo digo con esas implicaciones, eres muy humilde Stanford" movió su cuerpo de tal manera que daba la impresión de sacudir la cabeza, alzó los brazos "Todo lo que estás haciendo beneficiará a la humanidad, para mi eso es no ser un egoísta, todo lo contrario" se acercó y colocó su codo en mi hombro derecho.

"A lo que me refiero es que estás mejor así" con la mano abierta del otro brazo me señaló moviendo de arriba a abajo está para enfatizar su punto "Eres más feliz de lo que pudiste ser de no haber sido así" yo seguía con los ojos puestos en él sin hablar "Te lo enseñaré" se alejó un poco para extender su brazo "Confías en mí, ¿Cierto?". Me era algo extraño que Bill solía preguntar acerca de mi confianza hacia él con la frecuencia en que lo hacía, pero siempre supuse que al ser alguien con sus poderes era normal, después de todo era lógico que al darme conocimiento y su amistad necesitara saber que yo no haría mal uso de su generosidad.

"Por supuesto que lo hago" tomé de su mano, su ojo se curvó "Siempre puedes confiar en mí, Sixer".

La cabaña se empezó a desmoronar y con brusquedad el entorno se modificó a una construcción impecable que no reconocía, al menos no al instante, las risas y platicas llenaron mis oídos mientras que mis ojos se aventuraban a acostumbrarse a los adentros, el sonido de unas puertas abiertas me hizo rolar ligeramente dónde vi algo que me estrujó el corazón, al frente de butacas y más butacas ahí estaba yo, caminando en el escenario con una toga, recibía mi título y era claro. Me estaba graduando de West Coast Institute of Technology.

Era algo irreal verme en esta situación, el ver como mi rostro reflejaba verdadero entusiasmo y felicidad al lograr uno de mis tantos sueños que tuve en la adolescencia. Mis padres estaban ahí, Stanley estaba ahí y su rostro era una mezcla de orgullo y alegría por mi; decepción, soledad y duda en esos pequeños detalles. Continuaba con una celebración familiar hasta que la escena cambiaba por segunda vez donde ahora trabajaba de inventor en una especie de empresa, sabía que el tiempo avanzaba gracias al calendario ficticio, lo que en un inicio llenaba de motivación al Stanford en frente de mí ahora le producía desdicha al ser limitado por su contrato, ya no tenía tiempo de sus propios proyectos o la familia con la que mantuvo contacto.

Y cambió todo de nuevo, me hallaba en Backupsmore y otra posibilidad se desenvolvió, conocía a alguien y desarrollabamos sentimientos el uno por el otro para luego, ¿Casarnos? Eso sería una pérdida de tiempo a mis investigaciones y más siendo que observaba como ambos nos establecemos en Gravity Falls para luego iniciar una pequeña familia, con similar resultado gradualmente caía en lo mismo: desdicha, pena, recelo ante la insatisfacción de la vida que llevaba. Me separaba de quien era mi cónyuge para intentar tener algo de serenidad pero nada, con constancia me veía a mi otro yo sumergido en los recuerdos y los tormentos de su decisión, de la intensidad de aquellas discusiones; sobre lo que se dijo o no.

Al voltear a otro lado mis ojos se abrieron al encontrarme frente a la misma persona, esta hablaba o más bien vociferaba, me había tomado un momento procesar aquel cambio para que sus palabras hicieran sentido. "¿¡Quién va a querer estar con alguien como tú, Stanford!?" su semblante fue como una cachetada que ardió incluso antes de posarse con agravio en mi cara pero no pude musitar tan impactado por el constante recibimiento de información "¡Eres un maldito egoísta!" me apuntaba con acusación mientras proseguía con su alegato.

Cada sílaba sólo servía para afilar la estaca y al final cuando se clavó en mi corazón miré hacia abajo, al parecer nunca podría escapar de mí. De algo que yo nunca pedí. Entonces supe que mis adentros cuestionaban y mortificaban. El amor es un concepto tan complicado para una mente como yo, he presenciado finitas formas de demostrarlo y parece que no puedo entenderlo por completo, desde mi niñez hasta ahora, sigo pensando que no son más que frivolidades que todo el mundo pretende saber y manejar para luego juzgar a quienes intentan llegar a ella con simpleza.

En muchas ocasiones había sido testigo de sus demostraciones de mi padre hacía Stanley y mucho más consciente cuando eran para mí. Tantas veces escuché las expectativas, sus decepciones o simplemente sus pensamientos sobre nosotros y cada vez yo sentía la necesidad de aliviarlo pero sin dejar de lado a mi hermano, quería ser yo el que fuera lo suficientemente merecedor para que me dejara entrar en su vulnerabilidad y hacerle saber que tal como él me amaba yo lo amaba a él. Sus palabras hirientes… sí dolían, me hacían sentir insuficiente y tenían el mismo efecto en mi hermano pero… supongo que era su manera de demostrar que éramos importantes, que sabía que podíamos ser aún más amables.

Fue así como esta persona desvaneció y ventanas me rodearon para mostrar cientos de otras situaciones, no importaba cuán diferente fueran todas terminaban en desilusión "¿Ves a lo que me refiero?" Bill por fin decidió hacer su presencia de nuevo y con actitud irritada se mantuvo frente a mis ojos sin que las ventanas dejaran de girar a nuestro alrededor "Ellos no te apreciarían, seis dedos. Ellos son los egoístas, los fatuos que no podrían aguantar a alguien tan genuino com tú" con sus manos agrandó una de las ventanas que permanece inmovil para dejar ver la imagen "Incluso antes de mudarte aquí" apareció mi madre, luego mi padre, Stanley y otras personas con las que una vez crucé caminos "Ellos te hacen daño pero esperan que des todo por ellos sin chistar" suspiró "Y es por eso que esto es mejor para ti".

"Me tienes a tu lado, yo he visto lo que los otros no" ahora mudamos al espacio de siempre y me hizo sentar, una taza de té a la mano "Y me siento muy afortunado de que fueras tú quien me llamó y no un científico de pacotilla o algo por el estilo" volteó los ojos y yo solo reí, ajusté mis lentes con pequeño empuje de mi dedo índice y sorbí del líquido "Soy yo el afortunado, Clave. No es una ocurrencia diaria que un ser tan intrigante y sabio decida responder a tu llamado" pensé que la conversación iría a una más amena de inmediato pero Bill sólo me miró "Eres muy importante para mi, Sixer" yo no supe qué hacer o decir por la seriedad con la que lo decía "Te necesito… me encantaría poder estar en tu dimensión para pasar más tiempo contigo, ¿Sabes?" me erguí para poder por fin decir algo hasta que sus risas fueron lo siguiente "Quiero decir, a este punto eres como mi familia y eso es lo que todas esas cursilerías hacen" yo sonreí y asentí divertido a su elección de palabras "¿Tú también me necesitas como yo te necesito, seis dedos?".

"Yo te necesito, Bill".

Años después, parado en la proa con la vista en el extenso mar meditaba aprovechando que el otro Pines descansaba. Las ondas combinadas con sus reflejos inducían a un estado apacible pero persistía una oquedad distinta a las otras. El movimiento le recordaba a pensamientos y debates internos en su peor momento, donde se dejó arrastrar hasta la oscuridad y sufrir en ella.

Si se lanzaba era probable que encontrara el instinto de vivir, apenas si era visible debido a las estrellas que se veían a ellas mismas quietas, la madera bajo sus pies no crujía o parecía reconocerlo, un fantasma en pena que divaga en la gélida noche. Dio un paso más cerca del borde pero no se despojó de nada, el peso serviría. Pero con la mitad de sus pies suspendidos y la otra mitad todavía en el muelle se quedó así. ¿Cuánto tiempo pasó hasta que siquiera su corazón palpitó? Cuando recobró la conciencia se encontraba en su cama sin camiseta o alguna prenda para su torso, unas meras calcetas empapadas la única tela en su cuerpo que no fueran las cobijas que mantenían una temperatura aceptable.

A la mañana siguiente salió de la cabaña y caminó para adentrarse inconscientemente en el bosque, algunas criaturas que ya había estudiado se asomaban con timidez al ver la figura afligida del hombre, que actuaba con la naturaleza de un imán, llegó a una zona dónde los árboles contenían líneas peculiares que no dejaban de seguirle. Murmullos empezaron a saludar y decir insensateces, al tratar de ignorarlo cayó en cuenta del lugar en el que se paraba y se paralizó. Miles de ojos se clisaban en él sin parpadear, no contaban con un iris por lo que lo negro de la pupila lo hacía más tetrico y cómo si le leyeran los pensamientos, los mismos empezaron a manifestarse a lo largo de él hasta que no era más que un cumulo de estos órganos.

Había llegado a considerar sacarse los ojos, el simple hecho de recordar que contaba con esos orbes ocasionaban en su cuerpo las reacciones más desagradables, el rechazo inmediato a objeto parecido de manera metafórica o literal, en cualquier formato de información, al igual que la otra figura geométrica. Lo que antes era un paraíso en su vivienda ahora se comportaba como un infierno. Sus nudillos seguían en proceso de recuperación limitado pero su mente era un augurio incierto.

O veía sus muñecas que con palidez denotaban algo que había llegado a odiar y pensaba, que tal vez, con la ayuda de algunos instrumentos podía llegar a quitar esas cuerdas de todo su cuerpo, no importa el tiempo o cuán doloroso si significaba que Bill no sería capaz de usarlo nunca más. Qué importaba, si ya era ajeno a cualquier humanidad. Y lo intentó. Su manía por las cosas punzocortantes no era acomedida, si había la posibilidad de estar, estaba, sino; lo hacía a la fuerza. Como aquella vez, una de las tantas veces.

Era un momento como el otro, deambulaba por el bosque, ahora el ardor se flameaba entre las distancias de una flora a otra, la aberrante calma. Su cuerpo se mecía gracias a que los pies hinchados trataban de no sentir su condición además de apulismarse hasta que ya no pudo más y se sentó contra un árbol, se retiró los lentes para frotarse los párpados ya con la impresión de no estar lúcido. Al entreabrirlos asestó que el árbol que se empinaba hasta los cielos ya no lo era, un bloque astillado en su lugar rodeado de otras espinas como repuesto. Se arrodilló antes de ponerse en sus pies y caminar hasta que las puntas de sus zapatos tocaban las raíces liosas y volvió a ponerse de rodillas, sus manos posaron en el filo de este círculo, ¿Cómo es que podía ver con tal detalle si es que seguía sin los lentes puestos?

No había cabida para esa pregunta porque se encorvó y trajo su cara cerca… más cerca…aún más cerca. Repelía por instinto su rostro pero la palabra está ahí, instinto. Alusión macabra cuando el fino tejido no aguantó por mucho y se derramó en la madera hasta que por su anatomía impedía la ruptura, se apartó con complicada moción ya que algunas trataban de seguir en él y en una distancia ligeramente considerable. Vapuleó. Y el chasqueo no tardó. Paralizado rezumó con más corriente, las espinas se apropiaron de lo demás hasta engullir el último pedazo.

Abrió los ojos con apuro y refugió su cabeza para comprobar que seguía todo junto para salir de ahí sin espera. Fue solo un sueño.

Pocas interacciones con otras personas empeoraban sus delirios, unos desconocidos mañosos, tontos, faltos de criterio, narcisistas, roñosos… estaba 100% de que apestaban a Clave. Pero no haría evidente aquel ‘conocimiento’, con las manos y codos en la mesa daba la espalda a comensales y trabajadores, sabía que le observaban con esa maldita sonrisa y esos ojos del demonio. Repugnancia al que le tocó el hombro, su izquierda aprisionó la muñeca externa pero lo que vio fue miedo en pupilas normales y un cortocircuito ocurrió dentro de su lógica, el semblante se rugó cuando la mujer empezó a carcajear.

Le consecuentó otra mujer a unas mesas delante, para que como infección todas las caras alargaran. Sin control la suya imitó, el sudor plasmaba el pavor que la experiencia le daba, su derecha enganchó la mitad del rostro. Sus nervios se habían trabado al igual que sus cuerdas vocales con la misma calidad sonora que un fonógrafo. En las ventanas, palmas se azotaban contra esta superficie, sus ojos se movían raudos y en dirección contraria al complemento de su par "Todavía tengo mis ojos sobre ti, Stanford" hablaron al unísono "¡Qué mal que tú no tendrás ninguno!" y unas de las extremidades que golpeaban las ventanas las traspasaron y se abalanzaron contra él, con específico énfasis en estos. Se agachó y jaló de la mujer para poder salir del establecimiento.

¿Fue buena idea haber envíado esa postal? Lo hacía un blanco más fácil, no sabía lo que el supuesto secuaz de Bill podía hacer con tal de dar con él pero si estaba debajo de sus órdenes era sentido común que este ya supiera de su localización. No había manera de saber qué tácticas sería capaz de usar. Incluso podría ya estar en su casa y él no lo sabría.

Él era tan pequeño a su lado, podía caber en la palma de su bidimensional mano y pelar capa milimétrica por capa milimétrica para hacer lo que le diera la gana con la materia prima y los residuos. Goce previo en este momento repulsión por lo sentido. Al girar la manija y que la puerta le diera permiso para entrar todo contenía su esencia, desde los tapetes hasta el dinero que cargaba consigo, casi con el pecho tocando uno de los tapices se arropó e inhaló la intoxicante fragancia, la prensó en sus costillas y empezó a frotar su rostro contra el tejido. Al subir la cabeza ahora se suspendía por sus brazos semi extendidos, miraba el techo y las lágrimas brotaban. Todavía lo necesitaba.

"¡Wow!" Bill giró su bastón mientras seguía viéndome en el espejo "Te queda de lujo, tigre" arqueé las cejas sin dejar de sonreír "¿En serio?" giré mi cuerpo sin dejar de ver el espejo y ajusté el abrigo "¿Acaso me llamas mentiroso?" produjo sonidos de chasquido y ayudó en acomodar la prenda "Vamos, hombre… prácticamente eres la definición de romántico, Beethoven estaría celoso" esto me dio gracia y repuse mi postura ahora con los dedos ajustando el cuello, tenía que admitir que el traje era bastante refinado y tal como esperaba que un traje de época se sintiera.

"¿Listo para irnos?" se inclinó y quitó el sombrero que reciproqué con otra inclinación, caminamos hasta llegar al lugar del evento dónde los intelectuales más destacados de todos los tiempos esperaban con cócteles en mano y charlando entre sí. Al entrar tomé una copa y me acerqué a platicar con un grupo pequeño con la compañía de Bill, incluso con la magnitud de la revelación no sentía nervios, es más, estaba seguro de mí y en el fondo no me importaba que opiniones me darían en cuanto la cortina se desprendiera.

Al dar la hora ambos nos pusimos al frente y dimos un discurso, sus chistes no faltaron. Al jalar la cortina y que el portal se pusiera a la vista oí exclamaciones, hubo un silencio hasta que todos empezaron a aplaudir y preguntar su mecanismo mi sonrisa era tan grande que Clave empujó su codo contra mi brazo y sólo nos sonreímos antes de dirigirnos a los demás para responder sus dudas.

Al despertar no esperé para ponerme de pie e ir a trabajar en el portal.

Recuerda cuando su paladar captó el corroído impropio y jaló su labio superior que mostraban su dentadura colorada en el espejo, pasó un dedo para limpiarlos pero no indagó más, convencido de que Bill, al usar su cuerpo se metió en una pelea y que esto era una mezcla de sus fluidos con los de otros. Fueron varias veces que se repitió y que decidió aceptar su explicación. ¿Qué tanto había hecho mientras usaba su cuerpo? Por amor a Dios, las fotografías lo mostraban pero era un pedazo de algo más grande, que cosas tan repulsivas debió de haber sido capaz ese ser.

Durante los 30 años fuera de su dimensión la sed de venganza nunca palideció, al contrario, se volvió más fuerte con cada día que sentía su sangre hervir a cada mención de su nombre. Vivía por eso, tenía qué… para ver el día en que Bill Clave dejara de ser una amenaza para la realidad.

Pero nunca esperó que su derrota se diera en las circunstancias en las que ocurrieron. El ver a su hermano cabizbajo y ahora vacío tal como él solo añadió a sus culpas y aflicciones, ante sus ojos Stanley siempre fue fuerte, decidido y confiado. El otro lado de la moneda.Los días en que toda la familia e incluso Soos o Wendy ayudaban a que Stan recuperara la memoria avanzaban y con eso trataba de recuperar su vida, que ahora sabía que Stanley no le arrebató sino Bill.

Antes pensaba que debía dar todo para recibir lo mínimo, pero al regresar y obtener perdón… amor… Era difícil aceptarlo al principio pero la noche en que encontró fotografías viejas al igual que videos caseros de su niñez que entre los hermanos volvieron a recordar, algo cambió.

"No puedo creer que en verdad hicieras eso" se puso la mano en el estómago y rió, Stanley solo cruzó las piernas y los brazos antes de extender los últimos con un intento fallido de parecer molesto ante el comentario "¡Es comedia pura! Un cerebrito como tú no entendería mi desarrollado sentido del humor" aterrizó un golpe en el hombro de su gemelo "Vuelve locas a las nenas", "Oh, no lo dudo, completamente locas" asintió con burla en su manera de hacerlo.

Stan volvió a darle un golpe "Bruto" Ford se sobó antes de devolver el golpe con mayor fuerza, para estar justos "Nerd". Luego de un rato el sueño empezó a llegarles, Ford puso su cabeza en el hombro de su mano mientras las suyas mantenían el tazón en su regazo y al borde de sucumbir a este escuchó "Te quiero, Ford" un largo segundo transcurrió hasta que las palabras salieron de su boca "Yo también te quiero, Stanley".

La gente podía amarlo por quien era, no por cuan merecedor él podía hacerse de ese cariño.

Seguía con la mirada en el ancho mar recordando los detalles de toda su vida y con esa voz que le decía que aún seguía roto. "¡Ford, los niños nos están llamando!" Stan gritó al otro lado del Stan O’ War II "¡Ahí voy!" así hizo su camino no sin antes detenerse y voltear para volver a ver el mar, con una inhalación del salado aire susurró "No te necesito".

"¡Apúrate, Poindexter o sino te lanzaré por la borda!" el sonido de las gaviotas, empujó sus lentes más arriba y reanudó sus pasos "Hola niños, ¿Cómo están mis sobrinos favoritos?", "¡Tío Ford!"

(FILBRICK ERES UN PENDEJO, UN ESTÚPIDO IDIOTA, PITO FLÁCIDO, NADAQUEVERIENTO, FALTO DE CONEXIONES NEURONALES, MAMA HUEVO, CARCA DE MIERDA, INÚTIL, BUENO PARA NADA, CARA DE ANO, FIFE, FAN DEL TEMACH, OJALÁ TE HAYAS AHOGADO CON TU PROPIA MISERIA VIEJO TONTO)

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midnasdragon

3 weeks ago

Nothing new

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midnasdragon

1 year ago

Never meant to be

Sully family & Sully! Fem/Pronouns Reader

Words: 6,358

Summary: It does not matter who's fault it is right now. You're gone, it won't be the same any more. In the way to your eternal rest, memories come out and fill the sad enviroment.

Written Curse: Use of (__)-Third person- I'm not an english native speaker so I support on translators!--Sorry for any mistake-- I tried to relate the stories with something of the funeral and scenes before, I hope it makes sense. I hope this is sad/angst but fluff too. -(__) has different ages in each memory. 6 months for this is pretty wild. See ya Darlings!

It was weak but it was still there, the lullaby made by the waves, accompanying those who were grieving. The water a little warmer but cold for the Sullys, burning their skin as memories flowed over the surface of the reflecting form.

Her body floating softer now it was lifeless, being encapsulated between large leaves and flowers, taken away from the village to a place unknown to all of them even after living there for weeks; there was not their home, not with pain clouding their senses. She's not coming back and it will be a long road before they can be together again.

_________________________

Kiri did her best to find a flower that only grew in remote places and very well hidden ones. She spent her days trying, but it seemed she would not succeed and that frustrated her. Everyone noticed this and asked her if there was anything they could do, she simply said it was nothing and continued with her tasks.

One night, after noticed how distracted she was, again, (__) talked with Mo'at about the matter.

Reaching the tent after dinner, (__) announced herself before entering given the permission to, she greeted with her hand raising and descending --I see you, grandmother-- Mo'at reciprocated --I see you granddaughter,What brings you on these sides? You haven’t come here for a long time-- She grabbed a few herbs putting them in a bag to direct her attention to collect others, without taking off the eyes of them she heard --I know Grandma, I’m sorry-- (__) squatted and then took a more comfortable position.

--But Kiri has been different these days-- Now the tsahik turned to look in her direction with the same calm as she crouched down --different?-- she placed the herbs in a bowl and began to grind them for a few seconds neither of them spoke, concentrating on how the bundle turned into a pasty mixture, the sound of fire breaking the wood causing their ears to move, --And haven’t you thought about asking her?-- This question sounded very innocent but it was obvious how sarcastic too, --Of course Grandma!, but she didn’t say anything-- Mo’at stopped grinding and her eyes met those of (__) raising her eyebrows and tilting her head a bit --And I should know--.

With her ears pressed to her head she answered almost whispering --maybe-- but quickly continued --She spends a lot of time training and healing with you-- at the end the eldest shook her head laughing a little --You care too much granddaughter of mine-- And she went on to mix it again --If it helps you and Kiri, I think I know what’s going on. I told her about a very rare ingredient that I use in several of my mixes, but I no longer have it and I have not been able to find any, not even the pickers-- when she finished and saw that the texture was the best she stopped and picked up a few rags.

At the same time (__) came closer to her --How is it?-- Mo'at could see the determination in her eyes, after thinking a little about whether to tell her or not, she gave in and then gave her the details of said flower.

The days passed, (__) spent less time in the clan returning untidy and sometimes with cuts. Something that worried the Sully’s, another girl who behaved differently than usual, but this would not last long.

Kiri tended to several with their wounds, focused on making the right moves and putting in the right amounts that ignored a figure who walked beside her and sat a few feet away from her. Mo’at, who was attending to another na’vi, spoke --When you finish with him, take care of your sister, I have already done it too much--- So Kiri looked up, first to her grandmother who with some seriousness saw (__) then to the same one who offered a small embarrassed smile lowering her gaze.

Without saying anything and keeping her eyes for a few more seconds she continued to heal the wound. At the end she grabbed her things and went with her older sister observing those that required more attention first --what happened this time?-- (__) frowned trying to disguise the satisfaction of the task that left her in such a state --MH?-- Kiri exhaled somewhat tired --You know what I mean and don’t try to deny it (__)--She ran her fingers through the mix and spread it on the first wound getting a few moans of pain --Didn’t you think about what might happen to you?-- Turning her eyes for the scolding she opened his mouth for the first time to speak not before making other sounds for the burning --Mom and Dad already scolded me enough … I’m fine, Thank you--. Kiri quickly took her arm and extended it so that she and her sister could see it and bending over to see her face. --Is this being fine?-- --Kiri-- now (__) had a tired tone, Kiri’s uneasy face relaxed and looking for her sister’s look tried to be more delicate --What do you think you were doing?-- Studying her face a little and looking for the words to explain herself and make the surprise a good surprise --Little sister it won't happen again-- --I hope so-- she returned to focus her attention on the wounds --If you continue this strange, I will be the one who will have to take care of you--.

--Now I am the one who acts weird?-- Again they connected glances but Kiri shook her head and attended another cut --I don’t know what you’re talking about-- (__) brought her face closer to hers --Really?-- --Ugh-- she took some bands and wrapped them around her sister's arm --You are the one who is acting weird I’m fine-- (__) nodded slowly with lips a little pressed but her tail somewhat restless, her head looking at some shops began her “little plan” --TUK!-- Without turning but her eyes focused on Kiri continued with a smile forming --Then I think I’ll have to see what I do with all this-- The steps became more audible as they got closer, soon after Tuktirey appeared holding a basket --Hi Kiri!-- When she was close she extended the basket, when she took it, the little Tuk just as she came she went --Goodbye Kiri!-- with some caution she opened the lid to meet several flowers, the same that she spent many days searching without success Her mouth opened a little, her eyes opened a little more, after a few seconds she looked at (__) with the same expression and then at Mo’at --she is quite persuasive, as stubborn-- with bowl in hand went to her tent. --And?-- Her face full of happiness and fun for Kiri's attitude, but only received a slap on the face --Auch!, what was that for?-- --For being a skxawng-- With hands running her arm and without erasing that smile from her face --I can show you where there are more-- taking the basket and putting it in another place she observed them for another time --they are beautiful … I like them-- (__) confessed --Thank you-- softening her expression --It is nothing Kiri, anything for my siblings-- now it was Kiri's mouth that curved to share the smile.

Kiri sat next to (__) and laid her body and head on hers. --I think you better collect more, grandmother will reproach you every time you approach to her the times she has had to attend you--. She exhaled amused since it was most likely --as you say-- her posture became rigid and made a military signal that her father had taught them. Giving another pat but on the back of the neck she rolled her eyes without losing her smile --I'll reserve some for you, you'll need them-- --You talk like I'm always in trouble-- her tail moved as she remembered the many times her brother had gotten in trouble and where she had to heal him.

--You behaved like lo’ak--. Kiri felt (__)’s head lying on hers, she closed her eyes and (__) answered --That’s why you scolded me? I am older, I am the one who should scold you--.

--I was worried-- settling more into the gap that she had in the neck of (__) and her chest, focused on listening to her heart. --You don’t need to worry about me-- and neither said anything, enjoying each other’s company. Kiri then thanked the great mother for giving her the family she has, for the support and love they gave her and give her, for being in the here and now. Her arms encircled her sister's figure and hers her shoulders.

_________________________

The cold wind caressed the face of Lo’ak who was still sleeping, the external activity diluted in his listening announced the morning, feeling the lack of body heat at his side, it took him a while to open his eyes that to his surprise the light was already abundant, he stretched as much as he could, he left his resting place and went to breakfast.

When he arrived he was greeted by his family, first by his mother who stretched his arm to his head and kissed it, then by his father --Did you sleep well son?-- Jake asked by taking a piece of food and Lo’ak settling down next to his mother and Neteyam answered --Yes Father-- by bowing he grabbed a few pieces of food, leaving no room for further conversation (__) continued to swaying and asking --Daaaaaaddd pleaasseeee--.

Neytiri, who helped Tuk to eat, replied --(__), your father already told you no-- with this the girl made a few grimaces, without stopping her action her dad interfered --What will you do there?-- Before answering Neteyam spoke --She's going with a boooyyy-- he didn't dissimulate the smile and immediately made sounds to imitate kisses --Puagh! I'm not!-- with disgust she pulled out her tongue while the other children laughed but her mother looked at them to stop and so they did but in a while the ones emerged a little, --Very good, but you take your brother, today Kiri and Neteyam have their trainings-- As if she had never been sitting, she started jumping around and then hugging her dad for a long time, --Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you-- and hastily sat down to eat, with a small look at Lo’ak. Neytiri who at that time had finished eating and was now focused on Tuk saw Jake with a smile that he tried to hide when he saw her along with Mo'at.

When they finished eating Lo’ak and (__) went to the spring, the wet grass as well as the weather made the road lighter, concentrated in the view that although it was not possible to see beyond 4 meters was abundant, the sounds of his own steps, insects or even the wind was enough to relax the little one and make his body feel sleepy but the grip of (__) hand with his hand was enough to keep walking. After several moments of the walk the water hitting and joining with another was already heard as well as several laughs and other movements.

Lo’ak watched his sister dive more and more into the spring, from time to time pouring water or dipping her head. --Lo’ak! Come!-- (__) called her brother with a sign, the one who was sitting playing with some toys just shook his head and continued with his game, the water was too cold for his taste but, (__) wouldn't take a no for an answer, she had come to have fun and wanted her brother to do it too. But as soon as she thought of something to convince the child she would enjoy the spring.

Dipping and dipping she noticed a close flash, curiously she approached, came out of the water to take a breath of air and dive again, extending her left hand and grabbing the object. This moved a little, when she opened her mouth by the surprise she had to leave to not take or breathe the water. --Lo’ak! Lo’ak!-- He raised his head and saw his sister walking quickly towards him. --Come, look what I found!-- Her face no longer reflected surprise but joy like her body language, again shook his head --I don't want-- (__) clasped her hands together and asked again --Come on Lo'ak! If you do then I'll play with you whatever you want, but come-- thinking about it for a few seconds, he accepted and took the hand of (__).

When he touched the water he moved back a little by the temperature but his sister gave him a squeeze with her hand and a look to encourage him, as he walked more and the water reached his torso he had already become accustomed to the cold. When they got to a certain point they stopped, the elder pointed her head and spoke --There it is, ready?-- She noisily breathed in and waited a little for Lo’ak to do the same, in doing so they both put their heads in and with their eyes wide open they searched for what had excited his sister so much.

When he saw a little figurine of pastel colors and that with the passing light shone, as (__) he tried to touch it, but when his hands did he felt a peculiar texture, without having the same reaction, he only pulled his hand and watched the little figure come out antennae and move slowly on the rock on which it rested.

It was a snail he had never seen before, a very nice one, smiling he came out to breathe and began to laugh, next door his sister saw him and just imitated him. Already in a less deep place both walked looking at the rocks and stones below and the leaves that had fallen and floated aimlessly, some of the na’vi were no longer there, they had returned to the clan so it was calmer.

As the child that is Lo’ak it occurred to him that it would be fun to surprise his sister. As slow as he could was approaching (__), he bent down and her hands formed small spaces, when she turned to hear her brother approach she was greeted by nonstop water splashes with laughter, she tried to shelter her face with her arms but it was quite difficult so she decided to fight back, thus initiating a battle that neither of them would be willing to lose.

Hours later the only thing they did was rest, when one said they had given up and the other believed they took advantage to throw water again, the other did it too. Her hair moved according to the waves, as did her garments that barely floated. The light was dim by the leaves that covered the spring.

Looking at her face, Lo’ak appreciated every detail of her sister, even how serene she was even seemed to have fallen asleep. Almost as a sigh Lo’ak said her name, she opened her eyes and waited --I thought you were sleeping-- she shook her head. --It is better that we go to the clan, surely we have passed the food-- Turning a little leaning on her knee and squeezing her hair to remove the excess water, his brother did the same and taking by the hand they collected the toys to leave.

Back his head followed a thought that had formed at breakfast time, at his father’s condition and decided to clarify it even if it hurt his feelings, --(__), did you want to come with me?-- For the sudden question she stopped the steps, the sister who saw the face of her brother understood what he meant --Hey… why wouldn’t I want? with brothers as “cool” as you-- she broke her grip and swirled his hair with a smile before it got serious --I'm here Lo'ak, ok?-- without much thought he nodded.

They grabbed hands again and continued their way home without looking back.

_________________________

Neytiri had already finished several of her tasks for the day, one of her last was to go hunting, walking among the hammocks and some roots she carried her bow and arrows with constant step, the eclipse was approaching remarkably so it was necessary to get something before the night covered every corner of the forest.

Before she could completely leave the clan and call her ikran’s attention, she was attracted by a creak that frightened her, turning around quickly she found nothing less than her eldest daughter holding her own bow, her own eyes open --sorry ma, I didn't mean to scare you-- calming down immediately she signalized to her to approach her --what happened darling?-- slowly shook her head as she shortened the distance, arriving Neytiri surrounded with her arm the head of (__) charging it at the end of her collarbone --no, I just wondered if... could I go with you?-- --Nothing would make me more happy-- before continuing she separated a little to take her face in her hands and observe it a while --My great hunter is not yet big enough to think that hunting with her mother is thing of the past-- the cheeks of (__) warmed up to remember how those last weeks she was alone or with other young na’vi --mom!!-- a smile crossed by both in a moment, --It is better that we go at once-- without another word they walked until they reached the place that seemed right to them and called their ikran.

Already in the place that Neytiri had planned both began with the task, as cautious as possible they roamed the forest, tracking and following the chosen prey.

The rope was stretched until the arm reached its ideal point, the tip centered in the sight and with one last breath her hand released the rope, the arrow accompanied by another giving in different objectives, without wasting time they approached and performed the prayer.

--You have improved a lot in your aim-- --Thank you-- when she met her eyes her mother nodded --when the time comes you will take my father’s bow-- (__) who was preparing the animals to be loaded stopped the action taking again her eyes to those of Neytiri with disbelief --But Mom-- Neytiri interrupted --A bow must be strong, endure all the times it is used and those that do not, the person who wears it must be as strong as one, is one more part of who wears it; just as important as the heart, it is decided-- she finished preparing the animals herself, turning just to make her posture clearer, (__) nodded and then helped with what remained to be done.

On the flight back, the girl's mind wondered why that decision, despite being honored and happy she was also confused and even a little worried because that bow was one of the few things that her mother kept from her own father and therefore from her old home but she would not question it otherwise as it was what her mother wanted.

After dinner averyone went to their hammocks to sleep and be ready for the next day, including the Sully’s, each to their respective but before Neytiri could go with Jake, her daughter asked to talk to her.

Already set aside for others to rest, (__) sat on a rock and waited for the moment she thought was most appropriate to ask by tilting her head a little towards Neytiri --how was my grandfather?-- She stood behind (__), she took a great inhalation as soon as she sat next to her, looked at the stars standing still in the sky, --He was one of the strongest people I have ever met, wise and determined, even though Oloeyktan, he was someone who inspired confidence, love.-- The memories crossed her mind good and not so good but made tears find place in her eyes --Sometimes you look a lot like him, I'm sure he would be very proud of all of you.--

(__) In her periphery saw how her mother's face changed according to her emotions, her hand rested on top of hers --so would he be with you-- Neytiri turned her head to see (__) that she did not look at her directly swallowed saliva and tried to say something, she took off her tears with her hand --I wish it was, it is time for us to return-- and so they did.

Before (__) lay in her hammock she pulled Neytiri into a big hug putting her ear on her chest --rest ma, see you tomorrow-- with a kiss on the crown of her head for the last time she spoke -- you too, ‘ite’-- that’s how the night ended, the clan resting quietly.

The bows rested one above the other in their designated place waiting for another use, while dreams visited everyone, Neytiri dreamed of her father, she was again a girl and he was as always a great man.

_________________________

The little Tuk ran from one side to another screaming, the na’vi and people around her gave small glimpses toward her direction somewhat confused by her actions, as she stopped she turned around with her eyes going through every possible corner, attentive to any suspicious movement. But for a while there was no action to alert Tuk, for a moment her face was covered in confusion.

But as she let her guard down, two arms surrounded her figure –-I got you!-- Tuk shouted again but it was mixed with laughter --not true!-- And tried to break free repeatedly until she gave up, when (__) let her go, she resumed her escape --Hey, that's not fair-- she shouted but the girl ignored and kept running toward the tent of the whole family, with the things that were there she tried to hide and keeping silent, she waited.

After several minutes she heard as someone approached and entered the tent, holding her breath she watched as the na’vi moved to the other side, that’s when Tuk noticed that it was not (__).

But lo’ak who squatted and pulled something out of a basket, but when he stood and turned around he realized that the little girl was in the same space, carrying a scared look for a moment he asked --what are you doing?-- --Shh-- without being quiet, Lo'ak asked again, raising his voice --Shhhh!,What do you not see that I am hiding?-- he immediately answered --No-- and without further, he left the tent.

Other minutes passed and Tuk was already more than bored, she thought that, since (__) had not entered there perhaps she had forgotten their game and that she could already leave and not worry too much so she did but as she walked toward the entrance she didn't notice the shadow that was expected on the cloth of the store, When she left, she was back between two arms, the same ones that had imprisoned her moments before – I knew you were here-- --(__)!-- She laughed a little, --I win-- at that moment she let go of her, but the girl didn’t move from her side-- it’s not true, you cheated, that doesn’t count-- Tuk pressed her lips and changed her posture so that her sister knew how she was feeling.

--Cheated? How I cheated?-- Her tone of voice reflected the confusion she presented at what her younger sister said --surely you pretended that you forgot that we were playing to distract me and sure Lo’ak told you where I was-- Now she was the biggest grimace – I didn’t forget anything and Lo’ak hasn’t even spoken to me since breakfast -- Tuk’s tail stopped moving abruptly, his ears just as still – really?-- -- promise TukTuk-- she took a hand to her heart to make it better understood what she was telling the truth, Tuk seemed quite satisfied with that and she accepted it --that’s good because others usually do it when we play--. So (__) knelt down to level with her sister and seeing her in the eyes --then I promise I will never forget when we play together-- Tuk smiled and with his hand imitated her sister’s previous action --And I… promise… never forget anything-- ----what?-- The expression was funny because of her sister’s somewhat vague promise --Yes, I will never forget anything, nor of this-- raising an eyebrow the kneeling Sully asked --Really? Then I hope you never forget that I am your sister-- she composed her posture rolling her eyes--it seems that Lo’ak and Kiri already did-- the latter was more for herself but Tuk managed to hear and laughed, without saying anything else they heard how her mother called them to eat, --Yeah, i promise--

_________________________

Neteyam had finished his practices for the day so he decided to go and walk to relax, he knew that his father expected that when he finished he would immediately return to the clan, half a year ago that the people of heaven had returned and Jake was more strict and hard on them, plus he was busier. So he tried his best not to stress his father and make him proud, just like anyone, he needed time to rest.

So thinking of returning to the clan before worrying anyone, he went on his way, observing the flora and fauna, eating from the fruit he found, memorizing the parts of the forest where he was. After a long time he remembered what he had planned watching as he was close the eclipse ran as fast as he could as his ikran was not close. When he arrived and was under the camp he called his ikran in a hurry, without having stepped on, first he heard the cry of his father and then his figure approaching with tense posture –-did you already realize the time you arrive!?-- --I’m sorry, sir.-- But this response only seemed to infuriate Jake who immediately thought of some punishment for his eldest son –-A sorry doesn’t help me when you don’t even seem to care!-- Neteyam lowered his head, biting his tongue to the point of drawing some blood.

What else could he say? He knew that if he told the truth he would only make things worse and if he didn't say anything else he would take his father out of his boxes, at that time to remain silent and Jake's to wait, (__) approached knowing what was going on from her father’s screams, and to try to help, she spoke –-Neteyam, did you get the stones?-- both turned to see her confused --What do you mean sweetheart?-- asked Jake, for a second the ears of (__) went down but quickly replied --an apology father, I asked Neteyam some things for a project I have-. --And the stones?-- Jake turned to Neteyam who stuttered a bit trying to give an answer that was credible –- I didn’t find any special for (__), sorry --Do not worry brother, another day will be–- with some doubt and without discomfort already some Jake accepted the fact and left everything with a warning that they should always warn with issues like this to avoid worries --it will not happen again father--, -It better not-.

When Jake disappeared from their field of vision, Neteyam spoke -– why do you lie to him? You shouldn’t have done that-– something tired (__) put her hands on her brother’s shoulders --did you see how he was? He almost takes your teeth out one by one-- he sighed – anyway, that was wrong – with one hand he pushed the hands away from (__) -- when he finds out that I never looked for anything, what will we do?-- She raised an eyebrow – what else could we do? Tomorrow you bring me any stone and I will pretend that I loved it–For a moment, Neteyam watched his sister in disbelief. Had she lied before? --We won’t do that-- she escoffed, --As you wish, so what do you suggest?-- --We won’t do anything, this was my fault.-- (__) turned her eyes and before turning around she said, --very well-- and finally marched to leave Neteyam with his thoughts.

The next morning, as if he was not between his father’s expectations, he woke up late, possibly it was already noon. He rushed out to apologize and start his arc practices immediately. But Jake did not recriminate anything, to the surprise of the boy and his mother - thank (__) who warned me of your great ability, this day you can rest as much as you want but I will not allow it to always be that way, did you hear boy?-- --Yes, father, thank you very much-- without further ado, he did. In the night when he saw the eldest, he thanked her but she shook her head and with a confessed smile – you earned it – she shook her brother’s head and finished –now rest Tey– –you too (__)--. And with that they went to sleep without seeing eachother in the eyes.

_________________________

It had been a busy day but full of fun and new discoveries with his friends, his family. Removing the mask that helped him move in Pandora, Spider opened the second control door, when Norm entered he received it as usual.

--Hello Spider! How did everythin went?-- --It was great Norm, Kiri showed me plants I had never seen before and then with Lo'ak, Neteyam and (__) we went to explore a place she found, There were a lot of bugs and they ate some-– Spider only laughed at what happened as they had also joked with each other but Norm made an expression of disgust thinking about their texture and taste --Very well I do not want to know more details, Go take a shower so we can eat-– Spider breathed out his shoulders and walked down heavily to where the showers were --ok-- without having moved too far he stopped and without losing another second he passed his hands on Norm’s clothes and ran to his room --Spider!-- he shouted with his hands outstretched seeing the dirt and what looked like drool on his shirt and some of his pants, with a sigh of defeat he went to change and make Spider bath.

Well into the night and after having dined Spider lay on his bed, just below Norm's and before he went up the boy asked why he never learned the ways of the Omaticaya to be one of them, he settled on the edge of the bed --well-- he squeezed his lips --Jake was the first, he was taught as he was not a scientist and I was a little jealous- Spider curved an eyebrow --Something?-- Norm frowned --Don't you believe me?-- The boy shook his head and denied, Norm forrowed his eyebrows and nodded slowly --I guess I was very jealous, I had spent many years learning so that someone who barely knew what photosynthesis was or knew what skxanwngg meant would have been accepted into the clan… but then Grace and I had the opportunity to live with the Omaticaya, everything seemed to improve.

After the war I still had the opportunity to ask and more with Jake being Oloeytktan but at that time I realized that it was really not something that was for me... plus-- he shook the hair of Spider --Someone has to take care of you-- --The other guys take care of me too-- he moved his hand away from himself --Yes, but I'm the one who does it most of the time-- Spider was silent thoughtfully and yawned, --I guess-- Norm shook his head with a smile, --Good night kiddo-- --Good night Norm--.

The next day Spider went out again to meet the Sully's near a river, even if (__) did not arrived yet he and the others started playing, Neytiri and Jake watching them, for a while they chased, they swooped down and the boy pulled their tail until being a little calmer the mud hit them right on their faces, with their mouths wide open they saw that the cause was her older sister --(__)!-- the children shouted while she laughed, they took off the mud and began to grab more.

When she saw this her tail tightened and ran away as quickly as possible --don't run coward!-- Lo’ak shouted --try to catch me fools!-- and as the challenge that was all came out shot in her direction – children!-- They barely heard how Jake called them, but they continued as they knew she would not return until it was safe and accelerated the pace further, just as if they were for the prey that runs away from the hunter. They all took different routes, Spider running on the ground just like Kiri, while Lo’ak and Neteyam took their route on the tree branches.

The further they advanced Spider recognized the way as he and Lo’ak sometimes passed by and had even made a shorter path, so he took it for the sake of everyone’s revenge.

After running a little more he managed to see the figure of (__) that now ran less, so as not to frighten her or to make her notice his presence he slowed down until he only gave step by step with caution when she had stopped completely, examining her surroundings for any alert that her siblings were nearby, she took a long time to notice Spider as lightning came out at her, when she did it was already falling and being muddy --Spider!-- (__) she shouted before removing the child next to her and the mud, when she stood up she asked --Do you think it's funny?-- --It is--Spider smiled and she gave him a bitter one, before he could walk a few beads and ties fell to the ground, as if she had never been blue (__) she felt the blood leaving her body --what is that?-- --Nothing-- she wanted to pick them up but Spider had already done it with some --this is for a songcord-- without being able to lie (__) exhaled and sat on the wet ground nearby,he did the same, she extended her hands to him and spoke --it's yours-- Spider remained silent for a while --mine?-- She nodded --I thought maybe you could make your own cord, I wanted it to be a surprise-- -- but I am not a na'vi -- she immediately answer -- you are, You are na'vi as much as me or my mother and every na'vi has their songcord-- she tilt her head to him grab the beads and the ties in her big hands and so he did --If you want I can help you--without giving answer Spider stood and hugged with all his streght to (__) who received it --Thank you.--

The sound of creaking branches and moving plants reached the ears of both who with just a glance and a smile grabbed mud and ran out to the cause of the noise.

Days later Norm analyzed samples when Spider passed at great speed but he noticed something hanging from the boy's waist, a musical string.

_________________________

The flora illuminated the night landscape in different colors, occasionally reacting to the outside activity of the still awake animals. In a hammock several meters from the ground one family rested peacefully, huddled on top of the other.

However one of the dreams was interrupted, Jake felt how some hands grabbed his arm and in periods squeezed or shook it but the state in which he was not paying much attention to this until he heard whispers calling him. He slowly opened his eyes until he got used to the darkness, highlighting the figure of his older daughter who was closer than he expected. Clearing his throat he spoke in a low voice so as not to disturb anyone else -- What happened my child?-- regulating her tone to her father's and without letting go -- I had a nightmare--

--Oh really?-- (__) nodded – And what was it about?-- -– We were in the mountains and mom and you were flying but I didn’t, so I wanted to fly and I tried to get on an ikran but none wanted and then – her tail swung in times – you left and I wanted to fly alone so you wouldn’t left me-- Still sleepy he listened to the story of his daughter that seemed to have really affected him since also the grip of his hands on his arm increased and decreased as it did.

-But I didn't fly-Focusing as much as possible on her even that it would not make much difference, he placed one of his hands on the girl's head to move her until he caressed her cheek. --And why did we leave without you?-- (__) moved her eyes until they reached their limit when thinking about it for a while --I don't know, but I didn't like it, you wouldn't leave me, right?-- Without taking away any of his hands that touched them both, surely Jake spoke --of course not, we would never leave without you--.

--Pinkie promise?-- Jake laughed a little but hooked his little finger to hers who was already waiting for him --I promise, now go back to sleep-- she pulled her hands off his arm, lay down and closed her eyes, Jake following took a deep breath settling down to sleep, He concentrated on reconciling this --Dad-- without moving and to let (__) know that he was listening to her although she looked at him he made a kind of murmur --MH?--.

--I would not leave without you either-- Sometimes the words, the innocence and spontaneity with which she said them made Jake form a big smile and in other desire to laugh, In this case even something tender --seriously?-- --Yes-- he gently scratched his temple --that's good, your mother and I will not let you go anywhere until you are your grandmother's age-- (__) covered her mouth to suppress the sound of her laughter that tried to come out even more when Jake leaned one of his arms against his figure --But now back to sleep--.

The sounds of the atmosphere returned to their place in the hammock for a few seconds --Dad?-- (__) put one of her hands back on his arm with a small squeeze waiting for some answer, this being another murmur --I love you-- --I love you more (__)-- He closed his eyes and losing the grip of his hand sleep and stillness came.

With the security that his father gave him little by little, she embraced the rest that her body asked him without thinking about anything else.

_________________________

Her body was now embraced with houndred of tendrils, dissapearing in front of the eyes of her loved ones, everything felt unreal for them. Because it was unreal. For years they fought to be happy but ir seems they were never meant to be.

Tags

avatar x reader avatar x y/n sully family x reader neteyam x sister!reader loak x sister!reader kiri x sister!reader jake x reader sully family avatar angst neytiri x reader sully!reader Tuktirey x sister! reader avatar x you spider x reader

187 notes View Post

midnasdragon

5 months ago

Viktor the man you are.

2K notes View Post

midnasdragon

3 weeks ago

THIS ONE IS EMBARRASSING FOR ME, but I spent so much time to finish it... I can't complain.

8K notes View Post

midnasdragon

1 year ago

Lavander Petals

Vi x Fem!/Pronouns Reader

Words: 4,310

Summary: Life took everything from you that tragic night. Years have passed and the ghosts of your past knock on your door unearthing intense feelings, could you forgive? Let go?

Written Curse: Use of (__)! Second person! I'm not an english native speaker so I support on translators!-- It took too long to write this. anyway, i wanted to do my own version of Vi and Reader reunited--This happens after the end of the season! See ta Darlings!

Your eyes feel heavy, heavier and heavier as time goes by, so many years and still the pain has not shed the veins of your heart. There are even times when you believe that everything was part of your imagination, from the need to love and appreciate that in the end you ended up more hurt. Or maybe it was all real and that would make it worse, you don't know it anymore you don't know anything, you've never known anything and that hurts more.

Are you crazy? No, no, no. Of course not… or that's you want to believe, maybe, it’s all a bad dream, a bad thought that took too much control of your life and even they still are by your side. Playing a bad prank while you sit on the bench, your elbows resting on the bar that was just cleaned, your hands on your jaw and cheeks that conform to the pressure of these, your lost look on the liquors on the shelf and so on, your legs spread out for being very close to the bar when your feet rest on the metals under the chair. Your sense of hearing absent in the moment, focusing on the illusion of their loss.

When night falls and a new life begins, yours comes to rest. Your eyelids still for a long time now prevent you from having to recognize that you are totally alone and always will be, tomorrow will continue and will until the same luck knocks on the door of your little dwelling. But why would it be today if it was not before?

The morning rests everywhere, penetrating even the thin layer of skin of your face, with a rhythmic touch you began to wake up. Some noises were leaking into the almost empty room and helped you to take a more energetic attitude.

When you got out of bed you stretched your whole body, your legs hanging from the edge, after a few minutes you finally stood and went to get ready for the day, the mirrors in the room covered and your eyes never on the windows... with slow pace you made your way to the bathroom, with the natural light made it feel more hollow, as if the walls were paper and anyone could break them to reveal your naked being. After a few hours you finally left the place, your steps leaving invisible traces where you pass, with a cape and hood that partially covers your face...

When they met you they always made the same comment in some way or another, their smiles and their kind attitude bothered.

"She looks too much like you!" the female voice with surprise examined your face, her eyes wide open, with her legs slightly bent to be at the same height, then, a somewhat hoarse laugh filled your senses, your frowning of discomfort was heading to the man less than 2 meters away with his arms crossed in the form of pride, he simply nodded not before ending that 'actually she looks more like her mother’, everyone simply accepted it and after some more comments they were going to do something else.

So he approached and with his thick arm rested on your shoulders, gave some words to make you feel better, messing with your hair and returned to his work, you jaded without feeling really upset and with no one around you immediately smiled until one hand took yours and carried you with the others while the sounds of talk and glass became just an indistinguishable buzz.

Years and years ago it was like that, right now even if you would give anything for someone to make the comparison you could not stand to see you, you could not let someone else see you. For being the living image of your father.

When the night finally took the city back into its clutches and with your day finished you walk through the dark streets, the occasional lights as a guide back to your loneliness and tormented thoughts. Each step is more difficult than the previous one thanks to both physical and mental fatigue but you need to continue, you must.

For the memory of your family and for your own good. Already in front of the door and with soft movements you take the key out of your pocket and put it in the lock, you open and pass in the main corridor to the house, your pupils dilated to capture as much light as possible in the sea of darkness and groping to turn on the spotlights you guide yourself from the wall. When you turn on the lights and go into the living room you sit in the old sofa and torn from some parts.

You inhale and take the aroma of moisture as well as the dust settled in some corners, squint your eyes and hear the small squeaks from outside, but this condition does not last anything thanks to a few blows on the door. Somewhat surprised by this you turn your head a little and you only observe the door darkened by the little light that comes to it, not long after the sound is repeated but with greater intensity and less time intervals between each blow.

Slowly you get up and walk toward the door, back in the hallway, your hand moves toward your back pocket and firmly grabs the knife that rested there. You bend so that your eye is at the same height as the peephole and focus, the only thing visible were two silhouettes and nothing else; no details. Nothing. For this reason you tighten the handle of the knife even more without responding or making another movement. One of the two figures moves more than the other due to the blows it gives while the other seems weak to give the impression that its silhouette is leaning on the other.

With squinted eyes you expect them to leave or if they insist, if they try to enter... Your blood is frozen when you hear your name on the other side of the door, the voice is desperate and extremely familiar, your eyebrows are contracting and your grip on the knife makes you feel your hand throbbing as the other little as you are leaning against the door. And again, like an echo, the realization of a heart eroded by pain like a stone before the water again, feels like the exact momement of your disgrace.

Without thinking your hand that is leaning on the door moves to wrap the handle and turns it to open, for an instant three visible figures invade your eyes and everything seems like the first time. You remember standing in confusion when you saw two colorful heads being carried by his two big arms, your gaze ran from top to bottom until his head bowed and raised his eyebrows, with this you moved to allow them to enter.

The person in front of you is the image of that girl whom you loved and lamented so much, the one to whom you dedicated so many sleepless nights and tears thinking that you should have seen her body, to give her a worthy burial like the others, a farewell. Perhaps it is time to accept that you are no longer in your faculties, which is one of the many tricks that your mind plays. But when those pupils meet yours and her hand rests on your arm everything becomes real.

"(__)" you hear the repetition with restlessness, thoughts at a thousand per hour. And all you do is stick to the wall and move the knife arm slightly. Vi notices this, her intermixed expression of feelings and emotions but she looks at her companion and both pass with weakness, being in the middle of the room you close the door, your body trembles, you do not blink fearing the passage of time.

With a warm smile he introduced you to the girls and asked for your help to attend them in the mean time he prepared something for them to drink, the tallest sat in the chair that you were using before waiting for your father, the other; with blue hair like her irises walked all over the bar admiring the details.

You bit your cheek and grabbed another of the chairs that were on the table, and next to the girl you sat and swayed your feet until after a while you started talking, at first she did not talk too much, giving answers of a syllable. On Vander's return, he put the drinks on the table, four in total and grabbed a chair of his own, turned it and leaned on the back of it. He started talking to Vi and Powder to make them more comfortable, some laughs found a place that night as well as a new home for them.

At last you leave the door and walk to the room to see the girls still in the middle as if they did not want to intrude more, when recovering some of your previous stillness you observe them and notice the agitated language of the two. The arm of the dark-haired one fully supported in VI, which only walks to the armchair and helps the other to sit there, her gaze rises until she meets yours again and everything feels real again, "(__)" again says before walking towards you and wrapping you in it tightly "(__)" it sounds like a plague, she separates a little and rests its hands on your cheeks. A strange touch.

"It is you" her swollen eyes fill with tears but the only thing you can do without having completely exited the shock is to blink "Vi?" it comes out on its own and you feel how your eyes are on the verge of being on par with hers, she nods and smiles half-way, tears already fall down her cheeks and with greater force she embraces you again, without another word you open your eyes processing everything that happens and slowly the hand with which you hold the knife drops it to grab her shoulder, your gaze falls for a second on the girl sitting on your armchair but simply rests on Vi’s pink hair.

Tears begin to fall from one moment to another, your whole body clings to hers so as not to let it go again and your senses drown in a great intensity that makes her secure you with words and more tact. In a span of half an hour they finally separate from each other, before you can say anything she turns to the girl, "I need… we need to stay for today" The struggle in her voice is quite obvious "Please" when you see those eyes you can’t say no, figuratively and literally you can’t settle for.

"You can stay here or sleep in my bed" you sigh and rub your jaw to squat and pick up the knife "That’s what I can offer ", she nodded "Thank you, really" and while standing you keep the knife in your pocket and watch the other girl more "Caitlyn, she's Caitlyn" Vi clarifies as you check her body and see the tears, in her clothes; the dirt on her face and her shaken face.

You squeeze the jaw and raise your shoulders "Whatever…" you inhale delicately "Do I take care of your wounds or can you on your own?" you say as you walk to the desolate kitchen, Vi puts her hands in her pockets of her jacket "We can" now an air of some discomfort settles "Where is... well... everything?" she asks and walks to the frame where a door should be to enter the kitchen and lay her arm there. "In the bathroom" as if her presence was the most normal you try not to see her and eat a few cookies "It is better for you to rest" you say and walk until you are face to face "So decide, the sofa or my bed". The urgency in your voice as well as your modes are strange to Vi but she decides to let them go by now "Don’t worry, the sofa will be like a delicacy" you step and see the floor, she moves and you go to the living room.

You walk to your room and grab one of the few bedspreads and come back, you stand next to Caitlyn and stretch the bedspread, she raises her gaze and appreciates your face for a moment "Thank you" she whispers to the grip and put it on the sofa, you notice like tears form in her eyes and her face contracts but she bends her head and puts her eyes on something else. The familiarity of this action makes your eyes show pity but you do not ask when you do not want to worsen the emotions that she's probably feeling "You're welcome" you say flatly biting your tongue "lI'l go to my room" you take a fleeting look at each one before making way to your bedroom, no one answers or moves, just following you with their eyes.

When you close the door of the room you cover your mouth and exhale with fear, this cannot be possible, Vi, alive but, how? As if you had been repressing all your pain, it hits you once more, memories beat and bleed as if there were no tomorrow. You saw your dead father… the others are gone and she was too.

At midnight and somewhat calm you smoked with the windows closed thinking and thinking when the door opened without further do, the brightness of the moon was barely able to discern the new presence but you did not react, too exhausted for that. You just watch and wait but don't talk until a few seconds later, "(__), Can we talk?" Vi whispers but sounds so clear in contrast to the dead silence that remained so the exhalation seemed like a jester but you whisper in confirmation and VI walks to the edge of the bed and takes a seat.

Before she can talk you take that opportunity "Where were you?" You wanted to scream, cry again, smile and hug her for days, feel relief, but the affliction was dominating you. "You were dead" your face begins to contract and your teeth cut your tongue. She closes her eyes and tilts her head with her hands against the bedspread "I know, I’m sorry… I thought I was doing the right thing and in the end I ended up doing more damage, I tried to go back with Jinx, but Marcus…" the emotions seem to be too much.

"And after so many years in that prison. When I left I tried to fix things, I was told that you were gone, even that you were dead" she breathed trembling and you know it by being attentive to the sounds, the view not very reliable at the time but what was allowed to see is how she tries to maintain her composure "Ekko tried to help us but-" what? Ekko what? You press the tip of the cigarette against the ashtray to turn it off and wait for her to finish but she does not. You blow and let go of the last smoke, another emotion invades you, a lasting feeling but embarrassed to admit, even for yourself.

You take the courage to say it out loud, in the end, all this has been very stressful. "I told you to wait for me" you started with a knot in your throat and your lungs burning "I told you to wait, we had everything to go" now you feel your pressure rise and your body moves to try to filter your state. "I know, I know… I’m sorry. I thought I was doing the right thing, I didn’t know what else to do" she hurries to answer and slides to get closer to you, suddenly the room lights up thanks to a ray that announces the rain, there you see her face well and although only for a second it is like that, it is as if it has been engraved in your mind. You turn out your head and close your eyes with tears once again "No, you don’t know Violet" you open your eyes and bite your cheek "I thought they were all dead."

"Seeing that none of you were at home I ran to the damned place" Your words sound drowned and hardly come out with meaning "Only to meet my father’s corpse." you cover your eyes with the hand that previously held the cigarette "I did not even have the courage to see the bodies of others" Vi saw only listen with her heart about to break when imagining such a scene, repentance and guilt whispering inside, forcefully grab your hand, wants to listen, knows that she must.

When she moves his thumb to caress your palm a warmth envelops you slightly, you breathe with deep intention as more tears fall "When I returned, Silco had already taken the place with his followers, I had nowhere to go" you stop talking when you overwhelm yourself with everything, you bow your head, you breathe and breathe. "I had no idea (__)" answered Vi now in front of you and she hugged you again, "I'm sorry" Her hands squeeze your shoulders and take your smell, clinging to a part of her past with hopes that it hasn’t changed but inside she knows it’s impossible, she changed, Jinx changed and so do you.

"I wanted to blame myself, I wanted to blame you" you continue with heaviness "I wanted to blame everyone" you don’t give back the hug "I had a home and from one moment to another I had nowhere to go, I couldn’t even walk without being chased by those damned men and all for being my father’s daughter" the knot in your throat gets tighter "I couldn’t even be with Ekko because of the fear that the same thing would happen to him…" you pull away from VI. Another ray accompanied by thunder takes over the sky and the room lights up and reveals that both are directly seen when the darkness takes up its space "I also died that day" you clench your jaw and your teeth fight against each other "And now, after all this time you return without more?", "After years of crying thinking that I had turned my back on my family and that they had died because of that, you just knock on the door and bring an Enforcer asking for a place."

"It's not like that" Vi says and puts his hands on each shoulder "Then how is it?" Now you are the one who approaches "I wanted to look for you before", "And why didn’t you do it?" even though Vi understood your emotions, she couldn’t help but be frustrated by how you were behaving now "Because I looked for Po… Jinx, because I had to help Caitlyn and things happened" she says determined and moves her hands a little while they are still on your shoulders but you take them off with your arms, "And did you think it was a good idea to appear without further ado?" Vi buff when you stood up from the bed "I had no other choice (__), understand it" this for some reason makes you angry and you put your hands together creating fists "Option? Didn’t you have option VI?" You raise your arms and open your fists "You’ve always had options, Violet, but you always decide to take them without first thinking--.

With this Violet is equally annoyed and without standing only speaks with a tone that demonstrates this "Do you think I wanted all this to happen? I think about things but I decide to act, not just stand still doing nothing" you turn your eyes and walk through the bedroom raising your voice "And how did that work for us both?" VI comes back to jester, stands and crosses her arms " What do you mean?."

You bite your tongue and turn your back on it when you stop walking but you don’t answer, seconds pass silently before she asks you again, you turn around and watch her silhouette "Do you think I don’t blame myself too? Do you think I spent all those years in that shitty prison with a smile thinking about how I ruined everyone's life?" now she is the one who clenches her fists "Vander was also my father (__), you may think that because he was your biological father I do not feel his loss equally, but at least I tried to do something for him."

Without saying anything else she walks and opens the door to leave, leaving you with intense emotions and feelings, you sit in bed and cover your face, the bed shaking by the movements of your body. A few hours later you finally fall in surrender and the dream takes you in its arms.

The next morning you woke up before dawn and tired you went to the room with the surprise of seeing both of them sitting on the sofa, remembering the talk Vi and you u had hours ago you swallow some saliva, you continue your walk "You must be hungry" Caitlyn gets up and with the blanket in her arms follows you "You're very kind but no thanks" she turns around and sees Vi who lifts her shoulders and then rests her elbows on her legs, Caitlyn rolls her eyes before getting closer and giving you the blanket "Thank you very much, really" her lips create a little smile of gratitude and when she takes the blanket she closes her eyes for a moment and agrees, "It's nothing…" you narrow your eyes "Caitlyn" she stretches her arm and takes your hand gently when she starts shaking it.

""Of course, Caitlyn" you nod and stop taking her hand, she gives you a sympathetic smile again before walking, not without first saying that she goes to the bathroom to cool her face so you are alone in the kitchen for a few seconds, you leave the quilt on one of the bars and exhale putting your hands on the bar just a few centimeters from the quilt, You hear the footsteps of Vi behind you and close your eyes, swallow saliva again "It was not my intention to say what I said" you know it is better that whoever takes the conversation is you, it was always you who started conversations like this when both of them discussed things Milo said were very stupid.

"It’s just that, it was so sudden that you arrived; even now part of me thinks I’ve already gone crazy" a bitter laugh comes out of you without even moving to see your face "For so long I didn’t know what to do, my emotions were only getting worse" you grab courage and turn your body to be face to face "And when I saw you at the door… it was too much" she puts her hands in the pockets of her jacket and watches the kitchen "I understand what you feel, it was not easy for me either" she sighs with regret "I never thought you had that part in you" she smiles slightly "But I keep winning you, I wasn’t going to let you talk to me like that without giving you a spoonful of the same" finally she walks around and lays a portion of her back on the bar.

None of you speak for a moment, her presence being the only thing necessary to understand eachother. You try to understand what she has gone through and how it has affected her, you even come to compare situations with this new perspective. You think about any situation you have been in and imagine what it was of VI at the same time and that made your heart flutter. "Has anything changed between us?" You interrupt your thoughts to listen and now you travel to that topic, you have done it, of course.

"Do you want them to change?" The question could be taken literally but between the lines and between you knew the meaning of this, she busts with a smile and crosses her arms "Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you look at her and how she looks at you" you say looking at her from the periphery to see how her face matches the color of her hair and moves her head "I think we broke up without realizing it" now she crosses her legs and takes a more serious attitude and then talks "When all this is fixed… Can I keep seeing you?" Her melancholy tone seems as if she was saying goodbye.

You walk around and take your eyes to the floor "Maybe… just… that’s not like this time, ok?" now she laughs "You know me, pretty" when she finishes saying it, Caitlyn returns and Vi walks away from the bar.

After they talk they finally decide to leave and continue with whatever they have planned, the farewell becomes difficult but both are promised that things will improve. When opening the door of the house Caitlyn leaves first and now it is Vi's turn, you take a look and that way you say more things without the need to speak a syllable. You see them leaving and you feel something you never thought you would be able to experience again. Peace. Even for a second you feel it and think that things will improve, but it is a matter of time proving bad or good, the only thing you can do for now is wait. In the end a different kind of luck knocked on your door.

Tags

fem reader vi arcane arcane x reader vi x reader vi x you female pronouns arcane angst season 1 arcane

23 notes View Post

midnasdragon

1 week ago

thought about the character too hard

12K notes View Post

midnasdragon

8 months ago

Stanford Filbrick Pines

Words: 4,524

Summary: He was so small next to him, he could fit in the palm of his two-dimensional hand and peel millimeter layer by millimeter layer to do whatever he wanted with the raw materials and waste. Previous enjoyment, at this moment repulsion for what is felt.

Written Curse: What can I say, saw someone suggesting it on Tiktok and I did it, Descriptions of insanity and more insanity, suicidal behavior, manipulation, paranoia, kind of religious trauma, self-harm (thoughts and action) depictions, and maybe more sensitive topics, please be aware, MDNI. it's kind of different from what I'm used to write in some aspects but I enjoyed iy Seeeeeee yaaaaaa darlings!

Versión original-español

I walked through the mists of a gloomy limbo… If such a vague description makes sense, I paid attention to every step I took but I didn't feel it, almost as if it were a dream until my attention was redirected, something was heard in the distance and I wondered what it could be. It carried with it a sinister air, perverse dyes that dripped phlegmatically, the forbidden, the temptation, the sin that, as its passage, seduced me to approach, thus, little by little, it was not only an unusual song but also a particular smell, a sensation that made one's skin crawl but as everything here was far from comprehending.

Time was distorted and my mind fell into a spiral that I didn't even know I had entered until seeing in a dreary reflection a realization revealed, it was me.

That smell, that sound, everything… It was nothing more than my own body, that empty and rotten container that wanders aimlessly waiting for an end but even if I succumbed to the clutches of mortality, I know that my corpse would be nothing more than poison for this earth that now curses my existence. I beg for mercy even if I am not deserving and as a heretic I receive cruel punishment that lurks in the depths of my being, which from the beginning eats away at me, what led me to this state.

A simple act like the sliding of curtains felt so treacherous, he was turning his back on him and leaving him adrift. He deserves it, after all he did it was absurd that he thought he would receive any defense from him. He placed the reminder of the freshly made wound in the trash and tried to fall asleep but at no time did he blink, the minutes passed ignorantly to his situation and emotions so overwhelming that they seemed to mock without decorum. He had found a motivation that vanished at the same speed with which it arrived, he had to find another goal, a purpose, something that would give him what he had always longed for.

The days passed without anything remarkable, a blind and tired routine between corridors, living rooms and his bedroom with the irregular change of going to the library or chatting with his roommate, with whom he shared certain hobbies. He was about convincing that he enjoyed it, that despite being an unexpected result, he could take advantage of it and prove to himself that others were wrong, that he was better.

When he made the decision to live in Gravity Falls, it was as if that little flame struggled to remain incandescent and wanted to get bigger. It could be taken as an escape from home in a certain way, miles and miles away from his parents which doesn't make much difference from what it was in Backupsmore.

Everything was different, a new life that he would not let anything or anyone spoil. And so it was for quite some time, there was no day or night in which he did not find something fascinating, a distraction and a temporary relief to his thoughts that dejected him the most, but then, like a rose, it began to wither and the petals fell. Leaving a voracious appetite again.

And what happened when the snake approached him? He fell for the deception. So desperate for a shred of recognition, acceptance… And what person could resist a being greater than their own existence? It was an honor to be the favorite of such a sublime presence, a powerful being who did respond to his prayers, to his doubts, where he believed he was walking on the same floor as this one and not below as he was for so many years with his kind, he was finally an equal.

A nosedive into veneration.

The night was paler than the moon itself, its emanations were blunderbussed as they passed through the stained-glass windows with motifs that I distributed with my own free will throughout my cabin. Immersed in my inscriptions, Bill prowled in the same space and chatted about things that I didn't pay enough attention to since I was used to his actions. When I finished my last stroke I placed the pen aside and closed the bottle of ink to let it rest and therefore dry the contents of the page.

"Hey, Sixer" I turned my head and the first thing my eyes met was the triangle reflecting my appearance, I raised my eyebrow until he continued "Look, someone with science of humor" he laughed to return to his color, he snapped his fingers and pointed at me "Did you understand my pun?", "Of course I did, It's a simple enough thing not to" I adjusted my glasses before closing my journal, getting up from my chair and walking over to put it on the shelf next to the other books in my collection.

"You demean yourself a lot, don't you think? Give yourself some credit" he turned around as he moved forward with me, "I do credit myself but I know when things are easy, Bill" I rolled my eyes and left the room, on the stairs he was behind me "That's because you're very intelligent and perceptive, not everyone would have understood it the first time or the second" At these words I smiled but not for much since the day had exhausted me enough to use my muscles. The cabin was as lonely as the day it was finished, on one hand it was reassuring not to have to deal with those noises resulting from annoying habits of other people but on the other hand I couldn't help but feel more lonely… at least I had Bill by my side, even if I got desperate but very rarely. Maybe I should make a statistic about that.

"It's better as you are if you ask me," I heard his voice again but this time I didn't look at him, I went down step by step until I finally reached the floor. "What are you talking about?" I really had no idea, "Nobody deserves you, Ford" that confession intrigued me now in the kitchen where I didn't turn on the light bulb and only opened one of the drawers in the cupboard for a glass. "I mean, just look at you, six fingers; attractive, intelligent, funny, organized. You're out of their league, much better than all of them" he stood in my field of vision and crossed his arms, "And I doubt very much that you would settle for that anyway".

The circumstances that led to such a fatal encounter…

I closed my lips and remained silent, his words like gasoline for thoughts and speculations to nest in my head "We'll never know, they're counterfactual events and hypothetical situations" I drank from the glass I had previously filled with water "Besides, it makes me sound like a narciss-", "Hey, hey, stop your car, friend" Bill pushed and pulled his arms in the space between him and me "I don't say that with those implications, you're very humble Stanford" he moved his body in such a way that it gave the impression of shaking his head, he raised his arms "Everything you're doing will benefit humanity, for me that's not being selfish, quite the opposite" he approached and placed his elbow on my right shoulder.

"What I mean is that you're better off like this" with the open hand of the other arm he pointed at me, moving up and down, to emphasize his point. "You're happier than you could have been" I was still with my eyes on him without speaking "I'll show you" he moved away a little to extend his arm. "You trust me, right?". It was a bit strange to me that Bill used to ask about my trust in him as often as he did, but I always assumed that being someone with his powers was normal, after all it was logical that when he gave me knowledge and his friendship he needed to know that I would not misuse his generosity.

"Of course I do" I took his hand, his eye curled "You can always trust me, Sixer".

The cabin began to crumble and suddenly the environment changed to an impeccable construction that I did not recognize, at least not immediately, laughter and chatter filled my ears while my eyes ventured to get used to the interior, the sound of some open doors made me spin slightly where I saw something that squeezed my heart, in front of seats and more seats there I was, walking on the stage with a toga, I received my title and it was clear. I was graduating from West Coast Institute of Technology.

It was something unreal to see myself in this situation, to see how my face reflected true enthusiasm and happiness at achieving one of my many dreams that I had as a teenager. My parents were there, Stanley was there and his face was a mixture of pride and joy for me; disappointment, loneliness and doubt in those small details. It continued with a family celebration until the scene changed for the second time where I now worked as an inventor in a company of sorts, I knew that time moved forward thanks to the fictitious calendar, which at first filled the Stanford in front of me with motivation, now it filled him wit sadness. It caused him misery as he was limited by his contract, he no longer had time for his own projects or the family with whom he maintained contact.

And everything changed again, I was on Backupsmore and another possibility unfolded, I met someone and we developed feelings for each other and then, we get married? That would be a waste of my research time and even more so as I watched how we both settled in Gravity Falls and then started a small family, with similar results I gradually fell into the same thing: misfortune, sorrow, and suspicion due to the dissatisfaction with the life I was leading. I separated from my spouse to try to have some serenity but nothing, I constantly saw my other self immersed in the memories and torments of his decision, of the intensity of those discussions; about what was said or not said.

When I turned to the other side, my eyes widened when I found myself in front of the same person, they were talking or rather vociferating, it had taken me a moment to process that change so that their words made sense. "Who is going to want to be with someone like you, Stanford!?" Their face was like a slap that burned even before it landed aggrievedly on my face, but I couldn't mutter so shocked by the constant receipt of information "You're a damn selfish man!" they pointed accusation at me while they continued with their argument. Each syllable only served to sharpen the stake and in the end when it stuck in my heart I looked down, it seemed it could never escape me. Something I never asked for.

Then I knew that my insides were questioning and mortifying. Love is such a complicated concept for a mind like me, I have witnessed finite ways to demonstrate it and I can't seem to fully understand it, from my childhood until now, I still think that it is nothing more than frivolities that everyone pretends to know and handle. and then judge those who try to reach it with simplicity.

On many occasions I had witnessed my father's demonstrations towards Stanley and much more aware when they were for me. So many times I heard the expectations, his disappointments or simply his thoughts about us and each time I felt the need to relieve him but without leaving my brother aside, I wanted to be the one who was deserving enough to let me into his vulnerability and let him know that just as he loved me, I loved him. His words...they hurt , they made me feel insufficient and had the same effect on my brother but... I guess it was his way of showing that we were important, that he knew we could be even better.

That's how this person vanished and windows surrounded me to show hundreds of other situations, no matter how different they were, they all ended in disappointment "Do you see what I mean?" Bill finally decided to make his presence again and with an irritated attitude. He stayed in front of my eyes without the windows stopping rotating around us "They wouldn't appreciate you, six fingers. They are the selfish ones, the fatuous ones who couldn't stand someone as genuine as you" with his hands he enlarged one of the windows that remains motionless to show the image "Even before you moved here" my mother appears, then my father, Stanley and other people with whom I once crossed paths "They hurt you but expect you to give everything for them without complaining" he sighs "And that is why this is better for you".

"You have me by your side, I have seen what the others have not" now we moved to the usual space and he made me sit down, a cup of tea in hand "And I feel very lucky that it was you who called me and not a trashy scientist or something like that" he rolled his eye and I just laughed, I adjusted my glasses with a little push of my index finger and sipped the liquid "I'm the lucky one, Cipher. It is not an everyday occurrence that such an intriguing and wise being decides to respond to my call" I thought the conversation would go to a more pleasant one immediately but Bill just looked at me "You are very important to me, Sixer" I didn't know what to do or say, because of the seriousness with which he said it "I need you... I would love to be in your dimension to spend more time with you, you know?" I stood up to finally be able to say something until his laughter was the next thing "I mean, at this point you are like my family and that is what all those corny things do to someone" I smiled and nodded, amused at his choice of words "Do you also need me as much as I need you, six fingers?"

"I need you, Bill".

Years later, standing on the bow looking out over the vast sea, he meditated while the other Pines was resting. The waves combined with their reflections induced a peaceful state but a hollowness different from the others persisted. The movement reminded him of thoughts and internal debates at his worst, where he let himself be dragged into the darkness and suffer in it.

If he jumped, it was likely that he would find the sense to live, he was barely visible due to the stars that saw themselves still, the wood under his feet did not creak or seemed to recognize him, a ghost in pain that wanders in the icy night. He took a step closer to the edge but didn't take anything off, the weight would do. But with half his feet suspended and the other half still on the dock he stayed like that. How long did it take until his heart even beat? When he regained consciousness he was in his bed without a shirt or any clothing for his torso, mere soaked socks the only fabric on his body other than the blankets that maintained an acceptable temperature.

The next morning he left the cabin and walked unconsciously into the forest. Some creatures that he had already studied looked out timidly when they saw the afflicted figure of the man, who acted with the nature of a magnet. He arrived at an area where the trees contained peculiar lines that kept following him. Murmurs began to greet him and say nonsense. When he tried to ignore him, he realized where he was standing and froze. Thousands of eyes stared at him without blinking, they did not have an iris so the blackness of the pupil made him more gloomy and as if they were reading his thoughts, they began to manifest throughout him until he was no longer but a cluster of these organs.

He had come to consider removing his eyes, the simple fact of remembering that he had those orbs caused the most unpleasant reactions in his body, the immediate rejection of a similar object in a metaphorical or literal way, in any information format, just like the other geometric figure. What was once a paradise in their home now behaved like hell. His knuckles were still in limited recovery but his mind was an uncertain omen.

Or he would see his wrists that palely denoted something that he had come to hate and he would think that perhaps, with the help of some instruments he could manage to remove those ropes from his entire body, no matter how long or how painful it meant that Bill would not be able to use him never again. And he tried. What did it matter, if he was already alien to any humanity. His mania for sharp things was not discouraged, if there was the possibility of being there, it was, but; of not, did it by force. Like that time, one of the many times.

It was a moment like the other, he was wandering through the forest, now the ardor flamed between the distances from one flora to another, the aberrant calm. His body rocked because his swollen feet tried not to feel his condition, as well as making himself sick until he couldn't take it anymore and sat down against a tree. He removed his glasses to rub his eyelids with the impression of not being lucid. When he opened them, he realized that the tree in front that reached to the heavens was no longer a tree, a block splintered in its place surrounded by other thorns as a replacement. He knelt before standing on his feet and walking until the tips of his shoes touched the messy roots and he got back on his knees, his hands resting on the edge of this circle, how could he see in such detail without his glasses on?

There was no room for that question because he hunched over and brought his face closer…closer…even closer. His skin instinctively repelled his face but the word is there, instinct. Macabre allusion when the fine fabric did not hold for long and spilled on the wood until its anatomy prevented it from breaking, he moved away with complicated motion as some tried to continue in him, and at a slightly considerable distance. Whipping. And the snap didn't take long. Paralyzed it oozed with more current, the thorns appropriated the rest until they swallowed the last piece.

He hurriedly opened his eyes and sheltered his head to check that everything was still together to get out of there without waiting. It was just a dream.

Few interactions with other people made his delusions worse, strangers who were crafty, stupid, lacking in judgment, narcissistic, filthy... he was 100% sure that they reeked of Cipher. But he would not make that 'knowledge' evident, with his hands and elbows on the table he turned his back to the costumers and workers, he knew that they were watching him with that damned smile and those devilish eyes. Disgust to the one who touched his shoulder, his left imprisoned the outer wrist but what he saw was fear in normal pupils and a short circuit occurred within his logic, his face became grim when the woman began to laugh.

Another woman followed a few tables in front, so that like an infection all the faces would lengthen. Without control he imitated, the sweat reflected the terror that the experience gave him, his right hooked half of his face. His nerves had jammed as well as his vocal cords with the same sound quality as a phonograph. At the windows, palms slapped against this surface, their eyes moved quickly and in the opposite direction to the complement of their pair "I still have my eyes on ya, Stanford" they spoke in unison "Too bad you won't have any!" and some of the limbs that were hitting the windows passed through them and lunged at him, with specific emphasis on his eyes. He bent down and pulled the woman so he could leave the establishment.

Was it a good idea to have sent that postcard? It made him an easier target, he didn't know what Bill's supposed henchman could do to find him but if he was under his orders it was common sense that he already knew his location. There was no way to know what tactics he would be able to use. It could even already be at his house and he wouldn't know it.

He was so small next to him, he could fit in the palm of his two-dimensional hand and peel millimeter layer by millimeter layer to do whatever he wanted with the raw materials and waste. Previous enjoyment, at this moment repulsion for what is felt. When he turned the handle and the door gave him permission to enter, everything contained his essence, from the rugs to the money he carried with him. With his chest almost touching one of the tapestries, he wrapped himself up and inhaled the intoxicating fragrance, pressing it to his ribs. and began to rub his face against the fabric. As he raised his head, it was now suspended by his semi-extended arms, he looked at the ceiling and tears flowed. He still needed him.

"Wow" Bill spined his cane while he continued to see me in the mirror "It looks great on you, tiger" I arched my eyebrows without stopping smiling "Really?" I turned my body while taking my eyes off the mirror and adjusted my coat "Do you call me a liar?" he made clicking sounds and helped to adjust the garment "Come on, man…you're pretty much the definition of romantic, Beethoven would be jealous" this made me laugh and I restated my posture now with my fingers adjusting my neck, I had to admit that the costume was quite refined and just as I expected a period costume to feel.

"Ready to go?" he bowed and took off his hat that I reciprocated with another bow, we walked until we reached the place of the event where the most outstanding intellectuals of all time waited with cocktails in hand and chatting with each other. When I entered I had a drink and went to talk to a small group with Bill's company, even with the magnitude of the revelation I did not feel nervous, in fact, I was sure of myself and deep down I did not care what opinions they would give me as soon as the curtain came off.

When the time struck we both took the lead and gave a speech, his jokes were not lacking. When I pulled the curtain and the portal was in sight I heard exclamations, there was a silence until everyone began to applaud and ask its mechanism, my smile was so big that Cipher pushed his elbow against my arm and we only smiled before addressing the others to answer their questions.

When I woke up I didn't wait to stand up and go to work in the portal.

He remembers when his palate caught the improper corroded and pulled his upper lip that showed his red teeth in the mirror, he ran a finger to clean them but did not investigate further, convinced that Bill, by using his body got into a fight and that this was a mixture of his fluids with those of others. There were several times that it was repeated and that he decided to accept his explanation. How much had he done while using his body? For God's sake, the photographs showed him but he was a piece of something bigger, what repulsive things that being must have been capable of.

During the 30 years out of his dimension the thirst for revenge never paled, on the contrary, it grew stronger with each day that he felt his blood boil at every mention of his name. He lived for that, he had to… to see the day when Bill Cipher ceased to be a threat to reality.

But he never expected his defeat to happen in the circumstances in which they occurred. Seeing his brother with his head down and now empty as him, added to his guilt and afflictions, Stanley was always strong, determined and confident in his eyes. The other side of the coin.

The days went as the whole family and even Soos or Wendy helped Stan regain his memory and with that he tried to get his life back, which he now knew Stanley didn't take from him but Bill.

He used to think that he had to give everything to receive the minimum, but when he returned and got forgiveness… love… It was difficult to accept it at first but the night he found old photographs as well as home videos from his childhood that the brothers reminisced about, something changed.

"I can't believe you actually did that," he put his hand on his stomach and laughed, Stanley only crossed his legs and arms before extending his last ones with a failed attempt to look annoyed at the comment "It's pure comedy! A brainiac like you wouldn't understand my developed sense of humor" a blow landed on his twin's shoulder. "It drives ladies crazy" "Oh, I don't doubt it, completely crazy," he nodded mockingly in his way of doing it.

Stan hit him again "Idiot" Ford rubbed himself before returning the blow with greater force, to be fair "Nerd". After a while sleep began to come to them, Ford put his head on the shoulder of his hand while his held the bowl on his lap, and on the verge of succumbing to it he heard "I love you, Ford" a long second passed until the words came out of his mouth "I love you too, Stanley."

People could love him for who he was, not for how deserving he could get that affection.

He continued with his eyes on the wide sea remembering the details of his whole life and with that voice that told him that he was still broken. "Ford, the children are calling us!-- Stan shouted on the other side of the Stan O' War II, "Coming!" so he made his way, but not before stopping and turning to see the sea again, with an inhalation of the salty air he whispered, "I don't need you."

"Hurry up, Poindexter or else I'll throw you overboard" the sound of the seagulls, he pushed his glasses higher and resumed his steps. "Greetings children, how are my favorite kids of all dimensions?", "Uncle Ford!".

Tags

gravity falls bill cipher stanford pines ford pines trauma gravity falls stanford gravity falls fanfiction bill gravity falls Stanford fanfiction

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midnasdragon

2 years ago

MASTERLIST

HI! Thank you for taking the time to see my work, i hope you like it--- I'm not an English native speaker so I support on translators!--(WIP): Work In Progress (STP): Soon To Post

Angst🌠. Fluff🌸. Slice of life💫. Explicit🎀. Pre-canon🧵. In between canon 🎡. Post-canon🦚.

Last updated: 11/April/25

ARCANE:

Lavander petals (Vi x Fem! Reader) 🌠

Summary: Life took everything from you that tragic night. Years have passed and the ghosts of your past knock on your door unearthing intense feelings, could you forgive? Let go?

ATYPICAL:

A lot of pressure (Casey x Fem! Reader) 🌸

Summary: Casey goes to your house and she notices the unusual machine in your living room, so you teach her to use it. And maybe tease her a little.

AVATAR: THE LAST AIRBENDER:

Milkshake (Zuko & Sokka)💫

Summary: Sokka and Zuko meet again with the gaang in the Earth Kingdom, after enjoying themselfs, Sokka tells Zuko about a supposedly legendary milkshake so the duo sets out to look for said drink.

AVATAR-THE WAY OF WATER:

Never meant to be (Sully family & Sully! Fem! Reader) 🌠

Summary: It does not matter who's fault it is right now. You're gone, it won't be the same any more. In the way to your eternal rest, memories come out and fill the sad enviroment.

What makes us alive (Jake Sully & Sully! Neutral! Reader) (WIP) 🎡

Summary: After the occupation of the humans and having to leave their old home, the eldest does a few activities to lift the spirits of their clan.

Dancing Queen (Neytiri & Sully! Fem! Reader) 🌸

Summary: Neytiri was always de option of Y/N to practice her dances, after a long time without doing it she decides to return to the habit.

Hypnos, what are you doing?(Mom! Grace & Daughter! Kiri)

Summary: After a hard day, the night comes, and dreams take over, but peculiarly she is no longer on her planet but her mother's, together they discover the things that the planet had to offer.

Pajarito colibrí ( Sister!Neytiri & Sister!Sylwanin+Grace)🧵

Summary: Neytiri always admired her sister, she was strong, stoic in serious moments but also kind; a warm spirit. When Grace read a story Neytiri couldn't help but compare the title to Sylwanin.

Sand Castles(Sully kids & Tsireya+ Ao'nung & Sully! Neutral! Reader)💫

Summary: In the new clan, still getting used to the new environment, an opportunity for a common human practice in these types of places is turned into a competition.

DEMON SLAYER:

Promises (Sanemi & Male! Reader) 🌠

Summary: The relationship between (__) and Sanemi could hardly be called that. After the defeat of Muzan Sanemi will try to form a link with (__).

GRAVITY FALLS:

High Value (Stanford Filbrick Pines x Male! Pronouns Reader)🎡

Summary: Money is always the prize people look for, as the past guides someone's heart, a stranger crosses his path. A thousand lives, souls alike, what's the future that holds them tight?

Stanford Filbrick Pines Original version-Español🎀

Sons (Stanley Pines & Male and Neutral! Pronouns Reader & Stanford Filbrick Pines & Fiddleford Hedron McGucket)

Summary: First year of Highschool and both teenagers find themselves in the very same spot, socially speaking, when they meet a boy one year above them, things seem to change, but that would be enough to defy fate?

To perish with a witness (Stanley Pines & Male and Neutral!/Pronouns Reader & Stanford Filbrick Pines & Fiddleford Hedron MacGucket)

Summary: Years later after their separation they're forced to rely on the other to solve a pair of desires and their own issues.

SPIDER-MAN-ITSPV-ATSPV:

Angry too (Hobie Brown x Neutral! Reader) pt2 pt3 pt4(WIP) pt5 pt6 pt

Summary: V.E.N.OM is not the word you'd like to be associated with after all the implications it has but, you don't have V.E.N.OM but Venom in your side. In the very same night you meet Venom you meet Hobie, the spider man of your universe.

Spider tag (Hobie Brown x Fem! Reader) 💫

Summary: When your favorite spiders are in your dimension they take the opportunity to have a good time, including Hobie.

Art explosion and implosion (Miles Morales & Neutral! Reader)💫

Summary: Miles lost his sketchbook after a while he finds it with a surprise inside

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midnasdragon

Nightmare Moon

19-- I'm not an english native speaker-- He/They/SheThis is a learning curve for me and the curve is reaching hellUniversity is really sucking any desire to create

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