In Japan, Many Are Intrigued Solely By Appearances Of Foreigners. Even Before A Single Word Is Uttered,

In Japan, many are intrigued solely by appearances of foreigners. Even before a single word is uttered, expectations rise unilaterally, envisioning the promise of new cultures, ideas, and information not typically found in Japan.

Yet, upon speaking in Japanese, a faint tinge of disappointment often flickers alongside surprise in their eyes. Hence, they often liken it humorously to talent who can't speak English, eliciting subtle laughter.

"Your father is a foreigner? And your mother? Japanese, huh? So where is your father from?" "Lebanon... where's that again? Ah, I see." "You have an older brother? He must be really cool." "Oh, your brother is Japanese? I see." Knowing this, I've never been to Lebanon, my father separated from my mother when I was five, and my brother, my half-brother, has eyes as thin as bean sprouts, so there's no thrilling revelation as expected. Thus, I tend to avoid initiating introductions about myself. Simply introducing myself often leads to others feeling obligated, disappointed, or finding me devoid of a character like a celebrity, leaving me tired of being myself without a set persona. I often find it impressive when I can strike up a friendly rapport with the bartender at a drinking spot.

Despite presenting a positive front, deep down my mind's core resembles a stubborn mass of negativity like a pineapple, and I have no intention of trying to captivate a man by portraying myself as an elegant woman.

While I fear gaining weight, I seek connection based on mutual feelings rather than appearances.