Bitch I Need A Reason. Else I Be Fighting Against You For Poland

"You don't understand I'm getting married next week and I don't love the dude" "THEN WHY ARE YOU FUCKING MARRYING HIM!!!!!"

“You have to understand, the use of love potions is both morally gross and legally r-”, you interrupt the alchemist, and say the potion is meant for yourself.

Apirl: "Do you feel bonita?" Them: "Yes" April: "GOOD BECAUSE YOU LOOK BONITA!"

Get a fire extinguisher. It's getting too hot in here🔥

Mature my ass

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

Here's another boob fact! They get bigger when you're pregnant!

BOOB FACTS

Lopsided boobs are completely natural! in other words the left boob isn't always the same size as the right boob, this is completely normal and you are beautiful

that's actually the only boob fact I have so far I'm trans sorry I'm new to this

A resturant near where I live has Bob Roth on one TV all the time. I love watching him paint while eatting my pizza

Another hero: HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET ENGAGED TO A VILLAIN?!?!?! Me: 1. they're hot. 2. We're both ADHD 3. Their rambles are way too cute. How could I not marry them?

A supervillain known for going on tangents during a monologue has captured the hero. The hero broke free of the restraints a while ago but pretends to remain captured to see how off topic the supervillain will get.

And I fear you

what would you do if there were a post right in front of you

I was just reading this post, and then a door SLAMMED shut. It's only my grandma and me in my house right now. She just came into my room to ask which door slammed... I knew it was the bathroom door next to my room because when the window in that bathroom is open, the door can open or close randomly. But it still freaked me the fuck out

@writing-prompt-s I'm asking what witchcraft you know that made this happen

Hey... That's a good deal. I'm bisexual, I love Hades from greek mythology cause he's the nicest person. I'd be happy to date/marry his daughter.

You are perfectly immortal. You can’t age, you can’t get any wounds, you can survive anything, and even if the universe were to end you are immediately taken to another universe. Not because you are demi-god or a wizard, but because the god of death’s daughter is in love with you.

I know someone who would love these... and he's 2-D! It's..... Warumono-san from Mr. Villain's day off!!!!

Panda Éclair / Panda Roll Cake