I Implore You To Read The Comments

well pee in a can and call me pie

just finished my rant about never writing on tumblr again and how it destroys my sleep and wastes my time yet here i am finishing by megumi imagine after one (1) person complimented my other post

“you’re the only one that makes me Powerless tonight”

“and you can devastate my personal space i never liked it anyway.”

synopsis// alone and lonely were two very different things. gojo was never alone but he was tired of being lonely, at least that was until you showed up.

pairing// satoru gojo x gn!reader

word count// 1.4k

contents// angsty gojo?, gojo never turns off his infinity and never lets people touch him in any context!, ooc gojo probably, angst in general if u squint

notes// yep you guessed it! a waterparks song did in fact inspire this! todays inspiration is powerless!!! wooooooo!!!

Gojo Satoru was by no means alone. Whether he was with the higher-ups or other sorcerers or with his students, he was always with someone, around someone. Gojo Satoru was by no means alone, but he was by every means lonely. There was always a wall between him and everyone, metaphorically and quite literally, considering his infinity. only one person had ever been able to get past it, and that was when he was in jujutsu high himself, only one person until you. 

Yaga had called Gojo in one day for what he thought was a meeting, but upon arriving, he was met with you, standing there in all your glory, hands clasped together as you smiled sweetly at Gojo, who could now actively feel his pulse quickening the longer he stared at you. 

“Gojo, meet L/N; they're a new teacher here. In fact, they'll be working with you and your first years," Yaga catches Gojo up as he begins walking toward you two.

“Hi! Nice to meet you,” you say happily as you offer your hand out to him for a handshake. 

Gojo catches himself about to shake your hand but stops himself before he can do so. That’s not Gojo; Gojo doesn't shake hands, and Gojo doesn’t turn off his infinity, so why was he about to? just for you? He clears his throat and smiles smugly. “Sorry, pretty. I don't shake hands.”

Your mouth forms a slight “o” shape as you retract your hand and go back to clasping it together with your other. “Sorry!” you apologize sincerely. 

Yaga quirks up an eyebrow at Gojo in question, having witnessed the whole interaction, and the only thing Gojo can do is flash his signature smile. 

Yaga sighs. “Right well, that’s all. They start tomorrow with you, Gojo. Get them informed on your class, yeah?” He says this before walking out of the room. 

“Nice to meet you!” You call out to Yaga, who is long gone at this point. “So Gojo, what’s our class like?”

Gojo catches himself smiling like an idiot at your use of “our.” He likes the sound of that; he likes it a lot, a little too much, actually.

“Just call me Satoru.”

Everything after that was history. Gojo and you had quickly taken to each other like no other, catching everyone by surprise. Mostly because Gojo hadn't let himself take to anyone since he was in Jujutsu High, so why should you be any different? Nobody knew why, and he certainly didn't know why either, which is what scared him; it’s what’s made him keep you at arm's length; it’s what’s made him keep the quite literal invisible wall between you two.

But none of that stopped you; you were still just as enticed by Gojo as was everybody else, but you were different. You didn't fall for him because he was Gojo, the strongest sorcerer; you fell for him because he was just Satoru to you; you saw him when he was see-through, and maybe that's exactly why he keeps you at arms length. Because being truly known scares Gojo, allowing someone to truly know him again is what keeps Gojo up at night, even if deep down that's all he really wants. 

It’s been about a year at this point of you and Gojo being friends that aren't just friends but also aren't together but also aren't not together. In simpler terms, it's been about a year at this point of you and Gojo being together without actually being together. This isn’t to say you haven't tried; you have, kind of. You’ve never wanted to push too hard, afraid that it would do more harm than good. You would try and plan dates with Gojo, telling him you’d make time for him and that you were waiting on his greenlight, but apparently his light was always red, occasionally yellow, but never green. never.

But now you’re sick of waiting for the right time. You're sick of not being pushy; you're sick of being whatever it is you are with Gojo; you’re either together or you're not. You need answers; you need to know if he needs you like you need him, which is how you found yourself at his front door at midnight. You find yourself hesitating to knock on his door but end up knocking anyway; you didn't come out all this way in the cold only to end up not knocking. After a few moments, you're still out in the cold, so you knock harder, only to end up knocking on Gojo, well—you would have had his infinity been off.

“Y/n?” he asks grogily. 

“Gojo,” you reply back flatly, nodding as a form of greeting.

Gojo’s face scrunches up in confusion and slight disgust at his last name coming from you as he moves out of the way to allow you in. 

“Did I do something?” he asks curiously as he watches you walk into his living room. 

“yes.. no! .. maybe? ugh, I don't know,” you respond vaguely as you stand in front of his couch and turn to look at him. 

Gojo now finds himself a few feet in front of you, every part of him aching to just hold you. “You don't know?” he asks quietly. 

you groan. “What are we, Gojo?”

Gojo winces at you using his last name again. “Can you stop calling me Gojo?”

You frown. “okay fine. What are we, Satoru?” You purposely draw out his first name as if to mock him. 

He matches your frown, his eyebrows scrunching together as he questions, “Where is this coming from?”

You scoff. “You can't even tell me!”

"Y/n no, I'm just confused," Gojo responds sheepishly. 

You sigh. “Satoru, I'm in love with you.”

Gojo goes wide-eyed; he had pretty much already known, but hearing you say it outright still takes him by surprise, and suddenly, with the way his pulse is quickening, he's taken back to the first time he met you. “Y/n-“

You don't give him a chance to speak, raising your finger at him as if telling him to shut up, and he does. “I am so in love with you, but I can’t keep doing whatever we’re doing, Satoru.”

“What are we doing?” he asks with a frown. 

“I don't know!” you exclaim. “That's the problem, Satoru! I need to know if you’re in because I have been in since the moment I met you, Satoru, so now it’s your turn. Do you love me, Satoru?”

Gojo bites the inside of his cheek, and his eyes are stinging; he might just actually cry. He inhales and exhales deeply. “Y/n, I love you so much that it scares me,” he whispers back because he thinks if he talks any louder, his voice will crack. 

Now it's your turn for your eyes to sting, along with your lips starting to tremble. Scratch that—every part of you is beginning to tremble as you watch him step closer to you. “Then prove it,” you reply meekly yet sternly. 

Gojo doesn’t say a word. The way he wants to prove it doesn't involve him speaking; it involves him wrapping you in his embrace, which is exactly what he does, and you go stiff at feeling him touch you for the first time. You blink a few times in disbelief before grabbing whatever part of him you can get your hands on—his back, shoulders, arms, neck, hair, face—everything and anything. You’re trying to memorize his body whole in case this is the first and only chance you’ll get to ever touch him.

He stifles a laugh at how your hands won't stay still on him, and he kisses your forehead, and the two of you stay like that for a few moments, his lips against your forehead, while you try to memorize Gojo whole. Eventually, you finally stop and wrap your arms around him just like his are around you; your heart is about to practically jump out of your chest with how hard it’s beating. 

Gojo is the first to break the silence. “So, I was thinking maybe we could get away? call it a date?” He mumbles against your forehead. 

“Is this real?” you ask breathlessly.

Gojo laughs as he pulls away slightly, arms still around you, in order to look at you face-to-face. “Of course this is real. Am I just that amazing that you can't believe I'm real?” he asks as a smirk tugs at his lips. 

Despite the grin on your face, you roll your eyes at him. "Oh, shut up! It's just... does this mean you're in?" You ask nervously. 

Gojo hums before he leans in and kisses you passionately, yet keeps it short and sweet by breaking the kiss just to mumble.

                                   “Yeah, i'm in.”

© LITTLEXBIMBO

medblr is what keeps me going

8/1/2022

Last week was so long, but I learned a lot.

Luckily I had the weekend off to recharge. I did chores, studied, watched Netflix, and spent time with friends.

This is my last week with this particular attending and patient population, and I've no doubt I'll keep learning a ton, if last week was any indication. It will be challenging but I'm looking forward to it.

to pretend: to make as if; to put on an act.

megumi angst - the extra heart shattering kind

warnings: none i think, just a wedding and a sad sad reader

“y/n?”

megumis eyes gaze adoringly into yours and his voice is clear in the silent barn, decorated heavily with blue flowers and white ribbons. since you were kids this barn was a haven for you, set on the bank of a softly flowing river, amplifying the shrieks of joy from you and megumi as you caught the slippery toads that slept in the corners or took turns reading long and exciting fantasy books to each other, acting out the scenes with thick twigs you’d found on the barn floor as wooden swords, stubby arms haphazardly swinging the sharp branches in each other’s faces. and now, it was housing a wedding, a wedding that you and megumi and your best friend rina had been planning for months. every detail from the thick soft napkins to the tablecloths draped over the long tables horizontally lined up on either side of the barn, making way for an aisle in the center. but it was all wrong.

“i’m not so sure about this gumi” you mumble to him, but rina steps forward confidently and takes your hands in hers.

“y/n, there is no one, no one, i would be more honored to have as a best friend,” her hands squeeze yours softly, emphasizing her words, “…and no one i would be more honored to have speak at my wedding.”

“my wedding”

you grimace at her words, but this is her day, her and megumis day, and you’d be dammed if anyone ruined the wedding of the two people you loved the most, even if that person was you. so you step up to the microphone and take it shakily in your hands. you make eye contact with megumi one more time, and you see his eyes sparkle with unshed tears as his hand reaches for rinas, who smiles genuinely and lovingly at you. you clear your throat, and begin the story that will today join the two in front of you together, as husband and wife, and forever tear you apart.

“when i first met rina,” you begin…

“me-gu-mi!” you whine, pulling at his sleeve,“you can’t be this antisocial forever, what if i die? then you’ll have no friends,” you state bluntly.

“but i don’t need other friends.” megumi pouts, trying to withstand the power of your twelve year old arms threatening to rip his sweatshirt apart. “why do we hafta go hang out with her?”

“because i wanna and because i said so,” you say stubbornly, and drag him over to the empty lunch table, save for a dark haired girl with her hair tied up with a red hair tie , “we’ll be like the three musketeers!”

the girl notices you and the grumpy megumi behind you , and her face lights up into a smile. “hi,” she says shyly, looking up at you, “wanna sit?”

“of course!” you say, letting go of megumis sleeve and eagerly slide into the seat next to her. “i’m y/n, and this is megumi,” you add, pointing to the dark haired boy occupying the seat next to you, “wanna be friends?”. the girl nods again, pointing at herself, “i’m rina” she introduces with a smile.

“…i think originally rina and megumi were,” you pause, thinking of the right word because you hadn’t practiced beforehand, hadn’t even had a draft because while you were able to force yourself to help with everything else, drowning in the work to forget who it was for, you couldn’t bring yourself to relive these moments any longer than you had to. “…weary of each other”, you continue, which earns a few chuckles from the audience.

“is that your brother?” rina whispers to you when megumi goes to throw out his trash, taking yours with him as well like he’s been doing since elementary, but leaving rinas with a glare that he knows will earn a pinch later on.

“no, silly,” you giggle,”he’s just my friend.”

“oh,” rina says, “i don’t think he likes me that much.”

“megumi just isn’t good with new people,” you reassure her, “i’m sure he’ll warm up to you.”

“…but it was as if a magnetic force drew them together,” you paused, the physical hurt of saying these words numbing your mind, “they couldn’t stay away from each other if they wanted.”

“gums i can’t make it to the library,” your voice is lined with annoyance and disappointment, clear even through the phone, “you and rina’ll just have to stay without me.” megumi hmphs from the other end but reluctantly agrees to stay for your sake, you want them to be friends, you were tired of the tension between them during those lunches, and you’d grown close to rina, you wanted her to stay, and that meant megumi had to accept her as well. but accept was a pathetic word to describe what came next. first it was subtle. your phone pinged and you looked down to find a text from megumi. “me and rina are going to that bakery downtown, wanna come?” you frowned, when did they make those plans? maybe at the library, maybe they exchanged numbers? but you shrugged it off, happy your two best friends were able to get along this well. then it sped up. you’d gone out shopping with your mom for birthday presents for your brother, and walking into a candy shop you saw megumi, pointing at different jars of candy next to a blushing and excited rina, who was doing the same. why were they here without you? it’s not that you wanted to control the friendship, but you were the three musketeers, the inseparables, yet you’d known nothing about this plan. so you slipped out and pushed it to the back of your mind.

“…and soon enough the inevitable happened,” you continue, and you see megumi wink at rina and a couple guests laugh at the exchange, “they fell in love. why wouldn’t they? they were p-perfect for each other.”

“y/n? can i talk to you?” rina says meekly, not quite meeting your eyes.

“of course rina! what’s up?” you ask, although some dark angry part of you already knows what she’s about to say. the same thing that megumi had said to you two weeks ago, sitting on your bedroom floor, fiddling with his fingers and pleading you not to be upset. “y/n i like someone,” he’d started, “she’s pretty and she’s smart and she’s everything i’ve ever dreamed of.” your heart races, you’ve liked megumi too, for the longest time, ever since that day he’d given you his umbrella and walked through the pouring rain with you to make sure you got to your house even though it was in the opposite direction of his. “she’s so caring and i’ve just realized how much more she means to me then a friend after all our years together. you nod shyly to megumi, and reach out to grab his hand, but he lifts it up and runs it through his hair. “so?” he asks you, “does rina like me back?”

“y/n?” you hear rina say, and you realize you’ve zoned out for most of her confession, too lost in the one megumi made about her. “does gumi like me back?”

“w-ahat? oh yes, yes he does!” you feign excitement, and push her out the door, “you should go find him! confess, it’ll go well i promise, he’s liked you for a while too.” and when she leaves you close the door and collapse, all hopes of megumi gone and down the gutter. even worse, you were all still friends, this was a relationship you would have to support, you didn’t hate either of them for it, you knew they were both exceptional people and you were happy for them, but at what expense?

”which brings us to now, this couple standing before you, two of the sweetest, most compassionate and kind people, and my two best friends, who are about to be wedded and deserve all the happiness in the world. i know how much you love each other, i can see it in your actions, the way he pulls out chairs for you rina, and cares for you even when you don’t want to care for yourself”, you say, remembering the time you’d spent hours packing and planning for a day at the museum together but megumi had texted you asking you to make up a reason to cancel because rina was on her period but too stubborn to cancel herself, “and the way she calms you and makes you happy, lights up the light in your eyes and warms your heart megumi,” you say, recalling the time megumi had broken his arm and you’d been there first since you were closer, him wincing when you hugged him and giving short tired answers to your questions, but lighting up when tina ran through the doors, seeing her eyes light up and look past you to him had hurt , seeing them hug and megumi not flinching once had hurt too. “i hope that you will forever be happiest together, and that the future holds nothing but good for you two.” a future i’m not in you think. “thank you.” you say and the tears flow as you step down from the stage and celebrate the joining of the man you love most with the woman you consider a sister. but your tears are hidden in plain sight, sheer overwhelming emotion, an outpouring of happiness it looks like to onlookers. but it is only the opposite. you slip away for the vows, you don’t think you’re strong enough for that after the speech you’ve just given, and eventually megumi finds you, sitting on the curving stairs leading up to the loft, crying softly.

“you ok y/n/n?” he asks softly, his thumb grazing your cheek as he wipes a tear away, but the action no longer flutters your heart, the heart in question too broken beyond repair it seemed, to ever flutter again.

“i’m fine gumi, i’m fine.”

if only you weren’t pretending.

A SIMPLIFIED VIEW OF BRAIN FUNCTION

this is what i wanna do man but i just can’t

sucks to see someone live your dream

imagine going to orchestra auditions

"so what instrument do you play"

"what intrument do you want me to play"