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ATTENTION ALL LITTLES WHO WANT TO MAKE FRIENDS! 🎀🍼😋

reblog this post to find friends and help other littles find friends too! 

Releasing ABDL Shame

I recently got a private message on Fetlife from a new guy-friend who, like me and so many others have, is struggling with the guilt and shame of having ABDL interests, particularly in light of his outward masculinity.  I thought I would repost my advice here in case it can be of any help to our Tumblr friends… while we aren’t by any means experts on shame or self-care, I thought perhaps my thoughts could help others.

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For me, there have been a couple of core concepts that have helped me release that shame and guilt. I’ll share them here in full knowledge that these aren’t the kinds of things that seep in overnight: it took me a couple of years to deeply internalize them, and even today I have to remind myself at times that I lose self-compassion or feel threatened. So, be kind to yourself… this kind of self-integration is a process, and by reaching out to others you have started it brilliantly. Kudos for your bravery!

Everyone is masculine and feminine.

Seriously, we all contain both of these energies and their requisite traits in spades. Our culture tells us a lot about how we should feel, how each gender should act, etc., but most of it is polarized nonsense for the sake of quick characterization. (One researcher refers to it as a “social role heuristic,” basically a shortcut to understand where we fit in the pecking order). For a couple hundred millennia, males have been depended upon to be bigger, physically stronger, hunt, etc., and females have been depended upon to bear and nurse children, gather provisions, nurture community support, etc., and our cultural standards have developed around these necessities. Unfortunately, we have also lumped a whole lot of psychological concepts into these functional realities as our societies have gotten more complex and our ability to abstract has improved. So big/strong/independent has turned into a role and bear/gather/nurture has turned into a role which eventually turned into a set of beliefs which eventually turned into our concept of gender.

All that to say, you are both. You are strong and independent and tough and assertive. You are also soft, open, in need of love, tender, small, and weak. Both are true, and neither requires the other to go away in order for itself to exist. As Walt Whitman famously wrote, “I am large. I contain multitudes.” I go to work, I make command decisions, sometimes I guide millions of dollars and hundreds of jobs with my choices… and when I come sometimes I want to get diapered and taken care of, and both are equally awesome. Neither requires the other one to go away in order to be true. You need to be taken care of, just like everybody else, and don’t let the business suit or power play trick you into thinking you need to polarize. You don’t. Go kick ass during the day, come home and Little-out at night. Or vice versa. You are contain multitudes.

You are not broken.

Man, this is the crux of it. Sexuality is impossibly complex, and it exists at such a fundamental level in our brain development and evolution… it pre-dates conscious thought, and our conceptualizations of our sexuality are merely best-guesses at trying to characterize something wholly abstract and base-functioning.

To think of sexualities, regardless of how culturally deviant, as being character flaws or mistakes is to miss how sexuality works. If you don’t believe me, look at the NIH-funded studies that demonstrated how easy it is to create a lemon fetish in rats. Are these rats morally corrupt? Are they broken? Are they perverts? Are they broken? Nope… their sexual development happened to overlap with a sensory stimulus and they ended up with a fetish. Awesome. Anybody got any guesses on why men are attracted breasts? Yup. Because that’s how that works.

There is nothing wrong with you. There never was. Your sexuality may be different than most people you know, but it’s not broken.  There is no normal sexuality, and I guarantee that you are surrounded by dozens of men and women at work who have sexual fetishes, bizarre interests, turn-ons and practices that they work hard to hide from the world.

You deserve to try to be happy.

The pursuit of happiness is, as the US Declaration of Independence so eloquently puts it, an inalienable right. I think it’s an inherent trait; a motivational force built into each of us in some degree that drives behavior. So goddamnit, if something makes you happy and you can do it without violating others’ right to their pursuit of happiness, go after it. Few things make me as happy as diapering my wife, and few things make me feel as loved as being diapered. So I’m going to do it a lot; it’s fantastic. If I’m not doing it enough, I’m going to create time, and if I find I’m doing it too much, I’ll back it off, as it isn’t actually making me happy. Your pursuit of something that makes you happy isn’t just nice, it’s essential to embracing your own beautiful humanity. So fucking run after it; find your thing, and do it a lot. If your partner isn’t game, that’s OK… he/she doesn’t have to be, and he/she has a right to pursue happiness too, and you guys can work out how that will work for you. Pursuing happiness is part of valuing your own humanity; if you would want it for a friend, you can want it for yourself.

Let shame teach you, then let it go.

Shame and fear researcher Brenè Brown says it better than I ever could in her TED talk on shame:

“In surviving this last year, I was reminded of a cardinal rule — not a research rule, but a moral imperative from my upbringing — “you’ve got to dance with the one who brung ya”. And I did not learn about vulnerability and courage and creativity and innovation from studying vulnerability. I learned about these things from studying shame. And so I want to walk you in to shame. Jungian analysts call shame the swampland of the soul. And we’re going to walk in. And the purpose is not to walk in and construct a home and live there. It is to put on some galoshes — and walk through and find our way around.”

It’s OK to feel it.  It’s OK really dislike that feeling, too.  But let it teach you; let it tell you about your beliefs and your contradictions without judging yourself for feeling those things.  Then, when you’re ready, choose to begin to step out of it.  Avoiding shame (like avoiding any feeling) just compresses it into a more potent version of itself, and it comes out in dark and unpredictable ways.  Don’t try *not* to be shameful, but rather ask what it teaches you about yourself, then choose to replace shame with compassion as you walk out of the swamp.

I hope this is helpful, and I’m really glad you reached out; that moment of vulnerability is a moment of profound creative and renewing energy.

My Best,

RY

Love ❤ Socks

Reblog if it is OK to contact you on Tumblr Messenger

A life-altering experience

For @bigwishes

Male body tf. Jockification. Muscle tf. If someone would have a look at your browser history, they would know rather quickly what you were into. And I mean, everyone who reads this will probably have searched for the same things. You liked buff men. Dumb men. Buff dumb men. And, like most of us, you wanted to become one. A big buff dumb man. 

You were scrolling over Tumblr for the billionth time when you got a notification. It was from an app you didn’t know was on your phone; “YFFRIT”. You tried to delete it, but when you selected the application you could not find a way to get rid of the app. You accidentally opened the app, taking you to a screen with a white background. Words faded onto the screen. “Muscle”. “Testosterone”. “Dumb”. “Muscle”. “Testosterone”. “Dumb”.

Being almost hypnotized by the screen, your body started to expand. Your arms became more toned as muscle fibres grew and thickened. Your body fat melted away, revealing a chiseled six-pack. You grew a few inches, and a sudden calmness spread across your body. Your mind had become slower as if all the stimuli needed some extra time to process. 

The transformation finished. Your new body: it was just wow! It was strong and lean. You felt the testosterone pumping through your veins. Your mind was calm. Life was great. New words appeared on the screen. “Your first transformation is complete. Care for a change?” You pressed yes, and new words started to fade onto the screen: “Muscle”. “Testosterone”. “Musk”. “Muscle”. “Testosterone”. “Musk”.

These new words changed you even more! Your body began to emit this strong smell. Pungent, like a gym bag that hadn’t been washed for days. You felt sweat dripping down your body, forming a little puddle between your feet. A small layer of fat started to spread across your body, topping off your muscles with a bit of jiggle. A light beard appeared on your chin. You went from a generic muscle jock to something beefier. Something between a jock and a bear.

The words on your screen changed once more. “Muscle”. “Musk”. “Bear”. “Muscle”. “Musk”. “Bear”.  A thick pelt of hair covered your arms, legs, torso and back. This layer also started to stink, making your whole body a big smelly mess. The hairs on your face grew more coarse, and your muscles grew even bigger. What you thought were your abs grew exponentially. However, instead of 6 individual units, your belly started to expand like one big balloon. A giant muscle gut formed, the size of a skippy ball! You heard a grumbling sound, followed by the smelliest belch escaping your mouth. You had gone from a jock to a full-on muscle bear!

The magical app deleted itself, leaving you in this new, smelly, hairy reality.

Smart!!! If I had a mommy I'd follow these

Mommy's 25 Diaper Rules

1) Baby is now 2 years old from here on.

2) Diapers are to be worn anytime a baby would normally have a diaper on until mommy decides otherwise. Diapers will be used for everything restroom related at home and in public.

2a) If baby consistantly holds the need to wet or mess while in public until returning home it might become a requirement that baby either takes laxatives each morning or an enema before going out to promote becoming comfortable using his diapers as needed and to become accustomed to the wet and/or messy feeling while out and about.

3) You are not allowed to remove or adjust your diaper for any reason.

4) Only mommy or an approved babysitter can change your diaper. Regular checks will be performed anytime and anywhere. Mommy will try to be discrete if possible, but checks will be performed regularly and you must allow for your diaper to be inspected immediately when requested to do so. Diaper checks and changes are performed at mommy's convenience and they cannot be prevented by baby for any reason.

5) When baby messes his diaper at home it is required that a squatting position be maintained as to serve an a visable non-verbal warning to mommy or babysitter that a diaper change will be needed soon.

6) You absolutely cannot enter a restroom without mommy being with you.

7) Using a potty is now forbidden until otherwise stated.

8) Baby is forbidden from touching any private parts underneath or through a diaper.

9) You are now mommy's little baby and any sexual contact with mommy is not alloud while wearing your diapers.

10) Baby may only wear a shirt and diaper while at home in order to allow for mommy to easily see when a change is needed. Anything covering your diaper is forbidden unless permission is given by mommy.

Note: No covering the diaper at home is one of the most important rules in making diapers a longterm or even permanent addition to your littles life. Over time they will become accustomed to seeing themselves in a diaper and not thinking about it. Your little will start to become fine with dressing for comfort and not to hide anything. After several weeks they will start to be fine with dressing more comfortable in public and may eventually not even try to hide their diaper anymore since it's not even a second thought to them.

10a) In public jeans or sweatpants will usually be alloud. Pants will adequately cover the baby's diaper. However, jeans and sweatpants worn out will not be so big that the diaper buldge, swelling from usage and diaper outlines are not visable preventing easy checks.

10b) Gym and work out clothing will generally be a little tighter fitting than jeans and sweatpants.

10c) When having to attend class or work a onesie will be permitted wear as to assist in holding any wet or messy diaper sags in place until baby can return home and can be appropriately changed by an approved adult.

10d) If mommy or an approved babysitter places your pacifier/binky in your mouth at anytime it must remain in place until removed by the caregiver. You may not talk or babble during pacifier time.

11) While at home any drinks will be given in a bottle or sippy cup with a lid. Absolutely no glass cups or anything without a lid can be used by baby.

12) 3 days a week will consist of only baby food being offered. Usually this will be Monday, Wednesday and Saturday.

13) Baby will not use adult language or big words for any reason. Only a babyish babble, baby appropriate sign language, non-verbal signals, crying or pointing with the occasional small/age appropriate word can be used when trying to communicate all wants and needs with mommy or a supervising adult.

14) Mommy will pick out your outfits anytime it is necessary to go out in public and will assist you in getting dressed. Selected outfits must be worn without complaints.

15) All hair must be removed from the diapered area and must be maintained smooth.

16) A diaper must be immediately put back on as soon as bathtime is finished. Mommy will supervise each bath time for baby's safety.

17) You will be respectful to all adults and do as you are told.

18) You cannot hide, lie or be ashamed of your diapers since they are necessary- be proud. If asked if you are wearing a diaper by any adult you must respond correctly.

19) Baby cannot be left at home alone. An adult such as a babysitter will always be present if mommy is not available.

20) When crossing any street baby must hold mommy's or babysitters hand.

21) Big boy underwear must be put in storage until further notice and diapers will be stored in their place. Mommy will select any color or style of diapers she wishes and will keep a home supply maintained.

22) Bedtime is 10:30pm sharp, unless stated otherwise.

23) Mommy's or a supervising adults rules will be followed at all times.

24) Failure to follow the required rules will result in a punishment ranging from extra time between diaper changes, an enema or up to an indefinite amount of time wearing diapers 24/7 being required.

25) Mommy or any supervising adult/babysitter reserves the right to add, change or remove any rule at anytime as they desire.

Photo source: ABdreams

That would be fun!! I just wish there was a second part that Brian gets roomed with Jake and turned into his permanent baby

Gap Year

“Still, Mrs. Dean? But I’m 19 now,” Brian asked, frustration evident in his voice. He already knew the answer, but he had to ask.

“How long have you boys been friends now? I think you know by now that Tim’s situation isn’t going to be changing.” She fluffed out a large white diaper and laid it on the bed. “And neither are the rules.”

The diapers had grown larger over the years that Brian and Tim had been friends, but little else had changed, including the rule that both boys would be diapered for sleepovers. It had started as a way to make Tim feel better at their very first sleepover. Unfortunately for Brian, it had worked.

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