Na Jaemin, Number Three

Animorphs really has a way to turn every scifi trope on its head. "Why do alien invasions always start in America?" Actually the body snatchers first landed in a Middle Eastern farming community where they kidnapped the first guy they saw, read his mind, and concluded that, since he was terrified of the US soldiers who had brutally destroyed everything he knew and loved, the US would be the ideal place to center their invasion. This is revealed in the spin-off "Visser" which is an excellent stand-alone book that can be read without any prior knowledge of Animorphs. And you can read it for free and with the author's blessing right here:

https://files.animorphsfanforum.com/ebooks/pdf/Visser.pdf

"You were acting out of self-preservation, but you didn't have enough determination!"

I had the idea in my head to draw the Rise turtles be swept in the violence, in B.E.A.S.T. I think it turned out well ^^

animorphs is funny because the kids spend almost the entire series turning into birds of prey to fly in virtually every scenario while complaining about how they have to space themselves out so it doesn't look suspicious that all these rare raptors are grouped together, about how birds of prey often have to do a lot of hard flapping work to fly in some situations they're not meant for, about tiring out easily, etc. to the point where it starts getting weird and confusing that they literally always use those bird morphs instead of thinking to turn into e.g. migratory geese for certain situations as per their general capacity for pragmatism. and then in literally one of the last books in the series some of them turn into geese to fly long distance and spend the entire time going "wtf this is great why the fuck didnt we do this earlier holy shit." and also the answer to that question is at least in part "one of the animorphs is just literally on all levels including physical a hawk that gets snooty about bird species he thinks suck and would have been really annoying about it"

I think the world needs more positivity, so what are your funniest comic moments?

you have no idea what you have let upon the world, I have way too many comic panels saved,, brace yourself

Ninjago textposts because. Yeah.

Sources: tumblr, Twitter, the onion, and screenshotsofdespair

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Choi Jongho

“If you persevere long enough, if you do the right things long enough, the right things will happen.”

Fic

thinking about the expert masseuse Alfred hired for the family that is paid a small fortune annually to provide massage services and ignore so, so many things. No questions, no remarks, just quality service and an ironclad NDA that, if broken, would probably topple said masseuse’s entire family line.

Things Alfred is paying them to ignore, in no specific order:

Bruce’s spinal hardware courtesy of Bane :)

weird amounts of muscle on everyone, even the kids (despite them allegedly not working physical jobs)

scars

FRESH scars

the fact that every joint in Bruce’s body clicks when moved/manipulated at the tender age of 42

Olympic athlete level physiques

rotator cuff injuries across the whole family

scars that are definitely from bullets and/or acid splashes

old signs of what looks like torture (Bruce)

Dick’s entire left arm is basically screws and plates (he “fell really bad” once)

every single family member takes deep tissue massage with max pressure with 0 complaints

calluses

no really, the weirdest fucking calluses

Had to explain the plot of all for the game to someone who had no prior knowledge and holy shit. (Spoilers) Here’s some of my favorite footnotes from our texts:

To start with it is about a bastardized version of lacrosse called exy

And the yakuza

What

Does the yakuza have to do with lacrosse

The only joy he has is playing exy after his mom died and he burned her body in the first few pages of the book

Ah yes

Hillbilly cremation

10/10 for the environment

I’m honestly scared to actually read it

It made my mental health worse I think

Their mom decided to give up one and keep the other so one grew up in the foster system and one grew up with their abusive mother and they didn’t know abt each other until they were like 13ish? At which point one already had a SEVERE self harm addiction and the other had a severe drug addiction

Bro what 😭😭😭

And was HEAVILY abusive to them and their moms sibling was extremely religious (which sucked for their gay cousin, Nicky-he’s also on the exy team) and forced her to raise Andrew again after abandoning him as a baby and Andrew caught her abusing Aaron so he murdered her at 15ish

MURDER

A VALID MURDER

BUT MURDER

YEAH

AARON WAS NOT STOKED

I CAN IMAGINE

ALSO ANDREW LOCKED AARON IN A BATHRROM COMPLETELY ALONE FOR LIKE A WEEK AND FORCED HIM TO DETOX COLD TURKEY

WTF😭😭😭

Oh also Neil is like 5’4? There’s a lot of short kings in these books

Napoleon syndrome goes hard ig

Also I forgot to mention Kevin and Neil were childhood friends because Neil is technically supposed to be a raven (the ones who brand children) but his mom ran away from him and Neil knows who Kevin is but if I remember right Kevin doesn’t know who Neil is

Someone get these kids therapy

Please

They’d have to admit to all the murder

Get a mob boss therapist idk

TO BE PART OF THE TEAM BC THEY HAVE TO COME FROM FUCKED UP CIRCUMSTANCES THEY SEE BETSY DOBSON

Maybe it’s time to change religions

Atp I don’t see any other solution 😭

I need you to know everything I detailed happened in the first book and THERES FIVE

Fuck religions

Just death

They also go clubbing at a club called Eden’s like all the time

Ah yes, I’m mentally unstable, let me go to a club, shake some ass, grab a dick, and do a joint in the bathroom. Fun Friday night yall.

Also the older members call the younger members “the monsters” bc they’re good at exy but also because they don’t really view them as people

Again you’ve rendered me speechless and not in the fun way

Atp just burn down the school

THE YAKUZA TRIED 😭😭😭

TRY HARDER

ARSON ISNT ROCKET SCIENCE

Russian sleep experiment this author

Please

That summary makes it sound INTERESTING the points you described to me makes me think I should join a JIGSAW GAME I’d walk out of it with less trauma

Please comment some of your favorite fucked up things that happened in aftg 😭

Choi Jongho, son of Ursula

“There is, one knows not what sweet mystery about this sea, whose gently awful stirrings seem to speak of some hidden soul beneath...”

Fic