A Long List Of Regrets

textpost dump pt 1 out of whatever

i feel like people forget that bill isnt just like, in therapy, hes in a PSYCH WARD. he is INSTITUTIONALISED. he has been 5150’D. he is in GRIPPY SOCK JAIL. the theraprism isnt just some glorified therapists office, its a mental hospital.

I think the best way to explain why I like billford is that I like the canonical implications of their fucked up relationship ya know? Like I don’t want them to be a couple or have been a couple I want to pick their brains apart and study their relationship under a microscope.

I don’t ship them the way that I ship dipcifica, it’s the fact that they canonically have this history of obsession and manipulation and hatred that’s so interesting. Bill used his charm to take advantage of ford, the social outcast desperate for validation, and ford fell for every bit of that praise and did whatever bill wanted to get more for years. It’s such an interesting fucked up relationship whether you think they had a thing or not.

It’s also funny that bill canonically got blackout drunk when ford said he didn’t wanna be partners anymore

Hey you guys ever think about how rough and tumble little Stanley Pines tried his hardest to absorb all the ugly meanness of the world to protect his brother— how he became blustery and loud because it was the only way he received attention but also because it shielded his abnormal twin from scrutiny— how he stood in front of Ford with his gap tooth bared and scrawny arms outstretched taking in all the gawking and hurt by being the slip up, the rascal, the troublemaker— and how this ultimately led to Stanford Pines, the dreamy-eyed idealist who couldn’t tell the difference between friend and enemy, and Stanley Pines, the man who became so desensitized to pain that his life became one big bruise. Anyone ever think about that?

"I guess we doin peekaboo now"

KILL IT

Shitposting cuz its funny

Party Preparations

and another thing i really like about bill is just how truly horrific his life on euclidea must have been. not for the social isolation and bullying and medical abuse, but for the cosmic horror of it.

imagine spending your entire life lying on your back, pinned to the earth below you, and knowing that that is your position. everyone else around you believes their world is whole and complete and perfect but you know. you know there is an Up, you can conceptualize a Below, you can understand an Around. and because there are parts of reality those around you cannot see you become keenly aware that there are parts of reality you cannot see.

you know there could be horrors lurking just outside your visual field, things that can see you but you can't see back. just like the lights that are Up shine down on you but no one can see their light. how terrifying, not knowing what threats may lurk and being aware of that ignorance.

i was thinking about it it yesterday and it struck me as very gerald's game in a way, trapped in one position and know there is More but unable to access it, and how the mind erodes due to the what ifs.

i've always thought of the euclidean massacre as starting with bill acting in self-defense, finally backed too far into a corner, his final stand, he will be abused this far no further.

but what if he wasn't lying when he said he liberated them. what if the what ifs became too big and he snapped, realized he couldn't let his people keep living as sitting ducks in ignorant bliss.

what if bill saw something that terrified him.

we know from journal 3 what its like when 3d beings interact with the 2d world. what if bill saw something he really by all accounts shouldn't have.

i don't know. just the thought of being stuck on my back and seeing the vastness of the room and the world around me and imaging both the beauty and the horrors beyond that is enough to make me shudder. i think it's fun

Bill returns - A billford comic part 1 (this one was so long I had to divide the post here)

So, the whole thing took me a week of work, but with a lot of determination, hyperfixation (the ones where you forget you're a human, you know the ones), and energy drinks, you can do anything.

Hope u guys like it!! <33