Insecurities - Anakin X Reader X Padme

padme x anakin x reader when’re the reader is a little self conscious about her appearance but the reassure her that they love her no matter what? (it’s totally fine if you’re not comfortable writing it!)

Sure! I don’t write polyamorous relationships, but I hope that this is at least somewhat of what you asked!

Padme X Anakin X Reader When’re The Reader Is A Little Self Conscious About Her Appearance But The

Insecurities - Anakin x Reader x Padme

Warnings: None

Words: 1k

Extra info: Anakin and Padme are in a relationship and Y/n is the only one that knows, and is very jealous. ALSO!!! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL! Never compare yourself to someone else. 💘 remember, hate leads to suffering. that includes self hate too. oh yeah, reader is a little tad bit gay for padme but tbh who isn’t

~*~

Y/n fought back tears as she saw her two best friends be all happy and in love together. Truth was, she was in love with Anakin since he was a little kid - but he was too star struck by Padme to look at her in any romantic way. Not only that, but she thought Padme was the most beautiful girl in the world - and wished she could look like her more than anything.

So to see who she thought was the most beautiful girl ever be in love with her longtime crush seriously crushed her. She couldn’t stand it anymore and ran away to hide in the bathroom, needing to take a breather.

She slammed the door shut and leaned against the doorframe, falling to her knees and crying. She never had anyone to bring up her confidence - so it was broken easily as it had just been minutes ago.

She began to cry as she realized that she would never truly have a chance with Anakin. She wasn’t pretty enough for him.

She and Anakin were sent to protect the Senator since she was trying to be murdered - so naturally the old friends grew close again, leaving Y/n to third wheel. Hard.

She stood up after a good few minutes of crying, seeing the mirror and immediately being disgusted by what she saw.

Your eyes aren’t the beautiful brown that Padme has. Your hair isn’t as curly and shiny as hers. Your hair is too short. You’re too (skin color). You’re too fat. Your nose is too big, your lips are too small. Your eyebrows are horrendous.

You are disgusting.

I hate you.

The longer she looked, the more she hated herself. She knew feelings were a path to the dark side, so she had tried for years to desperately forget about her insecurities. But being around Padme maximized them tenfold.

She started to break down again, losing any shred of confidence she had left in her.

All she wanted was something that made her feel good. Someone to tell her she looked gorgeous. Something, anything.


But she never got it. Jedi were forbidden to love, so why would any of them ever compliment her on anything other than her skills as a Padawan learner, soon to be Jedi?

She was torn from her thoughts when she heard a knock on the door. She sniffled and froze, unsure of if she should speak or not.

“Y/n. I can hear you crying... and I can sense you’re hurt.”

It was Anakin. She gulped, trying to fix her tear-stained face, “I-i’m fine Anakin,” she lied, the broken inflection in her voice giving it away.

“No, you’re not,” Anakin sighed. “Please open the door,” Padme said as well.

Great. Both people who caused the insecurities were there.

She slowly opened the door, not meeting their gaze. “What?” she asked softly.

“What’s wrong, Y/n?” Padme gasped, seeing how hurt she looked. She instantly brought her into a hug - and no matter how angry Y/n was, she hugged her back quickly, starting to cry again.

“I-it’s so stupid,” she mumbled, trying to stop the tears from flowing again.


Anakin wasn’t sure of what to do, so he sighed and watched Padme hug her, “Nothing is stupid, Y/n. Talk to us,” he said.

After a moment of nonstop tears, she finally was able to speak again. “I-i’m insecure,” she said softly, sniffling as Padme rubbed her back.

“About your Jedi skills?” Anakin asked. She shook her head no, “No. A-about how I look. I just hâte everything about myself. I always have. And no one has ever realized how insecure I am, and no one has tried to help me.”

Her lip quivered, embarrassed she was finally admitting that out loud. It sounded even more dumb out loud than it did in her head.

“Are you serious?” Padme sounded shocked, “Y/n, you are beautiful! Why would you feel like that?”

“It’s just...” Y/n stopped, taking a deep breath before letting everything out, “Jedi aren’t supposed to have attachments. No romantic feelings. But this guy... this stupid, stupid man... I started falling for him. But he’s in love with someone else, even though he shouldn’t.” Anakin shifted uncomfortably. “And the girl he’s in love with is so... stunning. Everything about her is perfect. I don’t know how she’s real,” Y/n sighed. “I just wish I could be as beautiful as her. As kind, as funny as her...”

“Y/n, look at me.” Anakin couched down, and held her face in his hands gently. “You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. Why can’t you see that?”

Y/n’s heart leapt in her chest. That was the first time anyone ever said that to her - let alone her crush said that to her. “No one has ever said that to me, Anakin.” she teared up again, “No one. How am I supposed to know I’m beautiful if no one has said it to me?”

“I can promise you that many people believe that way...” he strokes her cheek softly, “they just haven’t had the courage to say it to you.”

“You are beautiful inside and out, Y/n. You can’t compare yourself to someone else... it’ll be your downfall,” Padme hugged her tightly. “If I’m being honest, you are one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. Many times I’ve been jealous of your natural beauty...” she sighed. “You don’t ever wear makeup, yet you look effortlessly beautiful. It’s not fair,” she pouted, and the two giggled. “You mean it?” Y/n sniffled, her confidence building back up.

“Yes.” she smiled, “We both do.”

Y/n smiled and pulled Anakin down for a tight hug between the three of them. She finally felt happy again - and truly beautiful for the first time in the stars know how long.

Even if Anakin didn’t like her back, hearing him call her beautiful was good enough for her. And to know that the woman she wanted to be thought she was gorgeous was the cherry on top of it all.

Y/n felt very lucky to have Anakin and Padme by her side to lift her up when she was hurt and insecure. She loved them both very much... and to know that they loved her too made her very, very happy.

More Posts from Monamourbladie-mb and Others

3 years ago

Want to see some doodles of the bois?

ooo yes pls wutcha got

also send asks to @monamourcole instead i probably will forget to check my ask box here

5 years ago

Redemption - Anakin Skywalker x Reader

Redemption - Anakin Skywalker X Reader

“If you’re up for ideas, I have one for Anakin Skywalker! The reader is under his training and they end up gaining feelings for each other. When Anakin is slowly turning to the dark side, he begins having nightmares about the future. His last dream was about the reader in TROS. In the dream, he saw that Palpatine returns and tries to lure her into the dark side. He had the same vision as Rey did when she saw herself joining the dark side, only this time, it was the reader instead of Rey. He wakes up after she says, “Don’t be afraid of who you really are.” That’s what stops him from going to the dark side.” REQ: @originalposter96

Warnings: Slight angst

Words: 2k

Extra info: The majority of this takes place in third person POV but in Anakin’s dream. On occasion it’ll be confusing cause there’s two Anakins.. one in the dream and the one dreaming it. But just keep in mind that anything italicized is the dream, and anything not is real life. italicized bold are Ani’s thoughts. I added onto the idea to include more of Ani’s downfall, so I hope it’s what you had in mind!

~*~

The Clone Wars were dark times. Death and destruction across the entire galaxy - murder and mayhem in every corner. The Jedi were doing all they could to stop the Separatists and Count Dooku, but they could only do so much.

It seemed that, almost every battle, they would lose another Jedi Master. Of course, this was painful to say goodbye to a friend and fellow Jedi, but it hurt nobody more than it hurt Y/n L/n.

Young Y/n had been trained since she was 7 years old. She was a young orphan - and her parents were criminals. To say that the Jedi saved her life was to say the least.

Her first Master, Master Yindos, was the one who originally found her. She brought her to the Jedi Temple where the Masters agreed to start her training, since the Force was so strong with her.

Sadly, when Y/n was 14 Master Yindos was killed by Dooku during the battle to rescue Padme Amidala, Anakin Skywalker, and Obi Wan Kenobi. She had to be reassigned to a new Jedi Master, Master Ornell, whom trained her until she was 17. He sadly was killed as well during the beginning Clone Wars.

Y/n felt cursed. Each of the Masters she had both met the same fate - Masters Yindos and Ornell had both died. She begged and pleaded for Master Yoda to not give her a new Master, and to let her train to join the Jedi Service Corps. Instead, he assigned her a new Master - Master Skywalker.

Although Anakin was very adamant to accept a Padawan, he eventually warmed up to her quickly and the two became inseparable. Of course, the two of them being only a few years apart in age did complicate things a bit - because both of them thought the other was very attractive.

It wasn’t until the first time Anakin saved her from dying that they realized their feelings for each other. They tried to hide them - but eventually gave up and decided to date in secret instead.

And now, for almost a year, everything was perfect. Y/n felt that the curse had been lifted and she would finally become a Jedi Knight with Anakin as her Master.

Everything had continued to stay perfect - until Anakin’s infamous nightmares started to come back, and he started to become suspiciously close with Chancellor Palpatine.

He’d lay awake at night for hours after one, trying to figure out what they meant. After his mother’s death, any dream he had he took very literal. He wasn’t going to risk any more lives if something happened in his dreams anymore.

One night, Anakin thought he was having what seemed like a peaceful dream. But it felt different. It felt... foreign. And he wasn’t sure why.

“The wayfinder has got to be here somewhere...” a foreign voice said. “I know. I just don’t know where it could be,” Y/n replied to her. Anakin turned around and saw Y/n standing with a young girl who he did not know the name of. She wore what was reminiscent of a Jedi’s clothing, so he assumed it was a Jedi.

“I think I found something,” Anakin spoke, turning back around to a hallway from the strange ruins he was at. “I’ll go down with you, Anakin. I think the command center is down that way...” the girl spoke, nodding for Anakin to come with her.

“Keep him safe, Rey,” Y/n nudged “Rey” and she laughed lightly. “Don’t worry...” she pulled out her lightsaber and Anakin’s eyes widened.

She had his lightsaber. He touched his lightsaber hilt and picked it up, realizing it was the same as his. How could she have his lightsaber?

“He’s safe with me,” she smiled and attached it back to her hip. “C’mon.”

Anakin turned to Y/n, “Are you going to be alright angel?” he asked her, afraid to leave her. She nodded, giving him a thumbs up, “I’m fine! It’s just the ruins of the Death Star, Anakin. Everyone who worked here is long dead.”

Anakin nodded and reluctantly followed Rey.

Y/n hummed to herself softly as she looked around the dark, cold ruins when she passed by a triangular object. She gasped lowly and walked forward, grabbing it from it’s invisible hold and moved it between her fingers. She grinned, about ready to shout to Rey and Anakin when she heard a lightsaber ignite. She turned around and froze still in place, barely able to believe what she saw in front of her.

She saw herself - wrapped in a black cloak wielding a dual-edged lightsaber, smirking. She twirled the lightsaber between her fingers before speaking simply, “Y/n... don’t be afraid of who you are.”

She dropped the Wayfinder and instantly brought out her lightsaber as the dark version of herself swung to attack, blocking it. The two started dueling with each other, blocking over and over until finally Dark Y/n pins the other version of her against a wall, holding the saber threateningly close to her throat.

She struggled against her grasp as a she heard the labored machine-like breathing of a dark, looking figure. He stayed hidden in the shadows behind Dark Y/n and crossed his arms, “Good job, my sweet apprentice,” he spoke lowly. “We shall take her to the Emperor.”

“Think she knows who you are yet?” Dark Y/n smirked. Y/n gulped, what if this was the Sith Lord?

“I would hope so...” he answered, walking into the light. The tall, cloaked man stood beside Dark Rey and the sight of him fully sent chills down her spine. Half of his mask was broken, revealing half of the face of the wearer. “I would hope she would know her own husband.”

Y/n struggled more and Dark Y/n pressed the saber closer to her skin, starting to burn her neck slowly, “A-Anakin-!” she shouted, completely confused as to why her husband looked like that.

“What did you do? What happened to you?!” she choked out, screaming in pain from the burning. Anakin rest his hand on Dark Y/n’s shoulder and she moved the saber away.

“Like I said, Y/n. Don’t be afraid of who you are,” she spoke again.

Instantly, Anakin’s vision began to blur. All around him the Death Star ruins began to disappear and everything became hazy, but the loud mechanical breathing of the Dark Side Anakin blared in his ears.

The sceneries quickly switched and he was on Mustafar, alongside Y/n and Obi Wan.

“I don’t know you anymore. Anakin, you’re breaking my heart!” Y/n started to cry, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow!”

“Because of Obi Wan?” Anakin replied. He was so... angry. Anakin didn’t know why, and it scared him. He hadn’t been this angry since his mother died.

“Because of what you’ve done! What you plan to do! Stop now, and come back! Please! I love you...” her voice was so broken, so worried and scared that it frightened him. What could he have done that caused her this much pain?

The Anakin that’s stood in front of her snapped once he noticed Obi Wan Kenobi from the ship behind them, “LIAR! You’re with him! You brought him here to kill me!”

“No, Anakin-“ she started to say, then she squealed when she was lifted up and started choking. “N-NO!”

Anakin tried to scream but he couldn’t. He was frozen in place watching him choke his lover.

Then, the scenery changed again, and this time he was in a metal room with robots surrounding him. Instead this time he wasn’t a spectator in the dream - he was looking through the eyes of a charred man, laying on an operating table.

Anakin tried to look around but he couldn’t - then suddenly a searing pain ripped through his entire body. He screamed and started to flail around the best he could, but he was strapped down. He was able to look down for a moment and saw his legs had been chopped off - and replaced with metal legs. His arms were both robotic, and his head felt dizzy from all the pain he experienced at once.

He felt it all - every tool drilling through his skin, every piece of charred skin being ripped off. He felt everything.

Even after that tormenting, it did not prepare him for what came next. He looked up and saw a black mask get lowered down onto him. He tried to move but he was immobile, and the mask drew closer to him.

It covered his face and before it could lock he mustered all his strength to scream out, “Y/N HELP ME!”

But it was too late. The mask sealed, and the same horrifying mechanical breathing from earlier emitted from the mask. Anakin had just become Darth Vader.

Then, as quickly as he arrived, the world around him began to disappear again. Everything grew hazy.

Anakin tossed and he turned until suddenly, “NO!” Anakin screamed, sitting up and breathing heavily. “T-that can’t be true...” he ran his fingers through his hair and sighed heavily, “i-it cant be...”

Y/n ran back into their bedroom, fixing her robe when she saw his panicked face. “Ani? Sweetheart, what’s wrong? I heard you screaming...” she walked over and sat beside him, resting her hand on his thigh gently.

He sighed heavily and pulled her into a tight hug, fighting back tears, “I know what I have to do now.” he moved away and cupped her face with his hands, stroking her cheek gently as he looked at her with a worried expression, “I know you know I’ve been different. And I’m ready to talk about why.”

“Anakin, you’re scaring me...” Y/n frowned, holding onto his hand, “Whats going on?”

“I... started to be tempted. To fall into the Dark Side,” Anakin looked down, barely able to look her in the eyes now. “Because I wanted the power to save you from dying. Chancellor Palpatine had promised me that he would teach me that power, and he revealed himself to me as being the Sith Lord. It was him the entire time...” he sighed.

“Oh my God...” Y/n was stunned, “What are we going to do? He has total power over the Senate!”

“We’ll worry about that later, my angel. What’s important right now is the fact that I was almost fully seduced to the dark side, blinded by his lies... and the dream I just had made me realize that.”

“What happened in the dream?” she scanned his blue eyes, and noticed how scared and worn out he looked.

“You and I were looking for something called a Wayfinder. We had to go to a ruined spaceship called the Death Star to find it, and we were accompanied by a young Jedi named Rey. You found the Wayfinder, and you saw an evil version of yourself. She fought you and almost...” he looked down, taking a deep breath, “she almost killed you. And then a man in a black suit came out. He was so cold... so evil,” he winced, “...and he was me.”

“Anakin-“

“Then... I-I choked you. Nearly to death. I think, I think I did kill you, actually,” Anakin gripped the sheets with his metal hand, sighing. “I cant put you through that pain to watch me turn into a monster. I won’t let myself go down that path, and you too.” he held her hands and squeezed them gently, “I love you too much to let both of us go down a dark path.”

“Anakin, I promise none of that would ever happen.” she smiled and pressed a soft, gentle kiss to his lips, “You won’t lose me to the dark side. And you won’t ever turn into a monster, Ani. I promise.”

He nodded and simply held her close to his chest, all the thoughts he had about joining the Chancellor fading away. That dream made him realize how evil the dark side really was - and all his recent dreams made sense now.

Rey was a recurring character throughout them, as were strange people by the names of Luke, Leia, and Kylo Ren. Their stories were affected by Anakin’s choice to become that man, and he was going to make it absolutely certain that he would never, ever turn into that monster.


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4 years ago

ask box anon here! I do have a twitter and a discord 👀

omfg please add my discord HAHAHA it’s melissyuh#1049 tysm i love u ask box anon 😭💕 i have a twitter too but i’m not active there anymore

2 years ago

Dating Billy Hargrove HC's

pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader

show: stranger things

will be writing a separate headcanon about Billy being angry.

warnings: cursing, abusive parents, dysfunctional relationships, toxic lovers, romanticism of toxic character. borderline NSFW because sex is a part of relationships (and this is Billy we're talking about, so...) so please proceed maturely.

🔞 none of the following content is appropriate for minors 🔞

Dating Billy Hargrove HC's

• strap in - let's fucking GOOOOOOOOO

• this boy is something else, okay? he's like nobody you've ever met, anyone you've ever dated - he's unlike anybody in this small town that you've grown up in your whole life.

• he's a Cali boy - he even smells like trouble!

• oh, but Billy Boy isn't all that meets the eye. he's complex, he's damaged, he's confused, he's harboring a lot of anger and resentment.

• his mom's been gone and out of the picture for so long, one might worry he's taken on a harmful view towards women. however, that's not the case at all.

• you meet on his first day of school - i know, i know, how cliche, right? only it was completely unavoidable. you were a star student, all right? your grades weren't stellar but they weren't bad; you tested decently well; maybe you played a sport and had a club or two you attended.

• it makes you the perfect student for the guidance counselor to select "randomly" to help show the new kid around.

• he's not very warm when you first meet. he's got this look in his eye and they way he totally shmoozed Miss McKenna (the principals own middle aged assistant) was enough to make your mind throw up multiple red flags.

• so you show him around. answer a few questions but when he tries to get personal, maybe asking what you were doing after school, you insist the tour's over and he could find his way from there.

• you don't give him a second glance as you leave him alone in the hallway and Billy's lips are pulling in a smirk.

• he was unlike anyone you knew - but you were the exact breath of fresh air Billy needed.

• so, he pines. poor baby doesn't know what to do when a girl isn't melting on the spot when he looks at her. in fact, he's not seen you or spoken to you since you showed him around.

• drives him a little crazy but he's fine. because eventually, he finds you one day, after school, looking distraught. it's obvious you want to be alone based on your location and Billy's never been the comforting type, all right?

• doesn't stop him from approaching you and silently taking the seat on the pavement beside you. he doesn't speak. just lights a cigarette and hands it to you before lighting one for himself. the silence prolongs until you break it.

• "what're you doing here?" you sniffled, trying to hide the emotion you felt.

• and Billy would shrug, "just hangin'. looked like you could've used some company."

• you're vulnerable, so, you admit you're waiting for your father and when you mention you don't have the best relationship, he goes rigid with understanding and empathy.

• an emotion he's NOT accustomed to.

• he learns your father and mother divorced years ago and he's been in and out of your life since. however, he called that morning and begged to pick you up from school so you could have some 'father-daughter time'... yet here you were, tears in your eyes, waiting on a man who wouldn't show.

• Billy offers you a ride home and finds he enjoys your banter so much, he offers to drive you home the next day.

• you're a little suspicious but he doesn't make a single move. he just drives you home after school, both of you lost in some ridiculous conversation that you're not even sure how it started.

• it then turns into him picking you up before school, too. just for a little extra time together.

• oh, and then, he was coming to your house on the weekends.

• he didn't mind you fussing in his hair if it meant he could light a joint and relax without the fear of his father.

• in fact, Billy becomes so dependent on you and the escape your presence provides him that he keeps a small duffel bag full of clothes in your closet. for emergencies, you know?

• and there are a few emergencies, sure. you're pretty used to him crashing a night there. you'll wash the dirty clothes he leaves and put them in the duffel after for next time.

• again, he's a Cali boy so he smokes. and he'll be really critical of the weed in Hawkins 'cause he's used to 'good shit'.

• but considering the small town, he takes what he can get.

• you have a lot of open, honest, vulnerable conversations when smoking because both of your filters will go down.

• he doesn't realize it until later but those are the moments he's opening himself up to you most in. while scary, he feels something akin to relief and gratitude to have someone to share parts of himself with.

• your friendship starts off innocent; just two people hanging out, cracking jokes, complaining about their home life. but it changes around December.

• you become close to Max - it's almost impossible not to. you're fond of Billy and would do what you could to help take him away from the pain of his father, but Max didn't really have anyone.

• until the party adopted her, but outside that, she got used to seeing you around a lot. and no, you never minded when she'd ask for your help on something; be it boys, school, friends, or her skateboard.

• you and Max bond by her teaching you to skate. and Billy won't admit it, but his heart felt ten times lighter the day he looked out the window and saw your hands clasped in Max's, rolling on her board, both of you laughing so hysterically, it made you fall to the grass.

• the laughter didn't end for the rest of the day, and Max wondered if this was what a sister felt like.

• in December, you accept to help her get ready for the Snowball Dance! precious babies!

• you bring a whole suitcase full of clothes, a tote bag of shoes, make-up, and hair accessories. and of course, a few magazines for references.

• when Billy opens the door, he smirks as he takes in your baggage, "movin' in, princess?"

• he reaches to take the tote bag off your shoulder so you wouldn't carry the weight.

• but Max is there, nudging him out of the way, "she's here for me."

• when Billy's puppy-eyes turn to you, you can't help but sigh lightly and hand Max the wheeling suitcase. she dashes back for her room and you stand in front of Billy, hands flattened against his waist as you tease lightly, "you're gonna have to share me, you know."

• his eyes would roll lightly, "says who?"

• "behave," you chuckled, moving to help Susan get Max ready. and by the end of the night, you're waving the redhead off with Billy's arm slung around your shoulders. "see what happens when you're patient?"

• Susan and Neil dropped Max off before going on their own date, meaning you and Billy were home alone.

• you might've felt nervous but he never pressured you. instead, he seemed a little more tender as the holidays drew on and you had a sneaking suspicion he was mourning the life, and family, he knew before.

• so, what do you do? you're pulling ingredients out in his kitchen and insisting he helps you make a batch of cookies. the radio is flicked on and Christmas carols ring around the room.

• he's not good at baking but he laughs more in those two hours than he had in a full week. his eyes get soft and he might even act on the way his heart feels vulnerable, pulling you in for a slow dance around the kitchen.

• snow MIGHT even start to fall outside, marking this as your very own Snowball Dance.

• Billy kisses you that night, your lips tasting like the batter your finger had taken a dollop of. it's a searing kind of kiss, the one that feels like a long time coming - finally arriving and making your body explode with pinpricks of hormones.

• needless to say, you two were joined at the hip from that day on. Neil wasn't the biggest fan of you because you were just so fucking nice - it confused him what you saw in Billy.

• but you saw all the best parts of him, despite Neil's conditioning to showcase the worst.

• so, you're dating now, right? beautiful. doesn't mean it's perfect, okay? Billy's still a little bent outta shape that he requires time and understanding.

• he's doing his best, okay?

• he curses, like, a lot. at you, near you, in reference to you. but he’ll never resort to cheap ploys and will always comes to your defense if someone’s out of line.

• big fan of the whole ‘total dickhead to everyone except so-and-so’. cause that’s you and Billy.

• but when Billy's your boyfriend, oh, lord! get ready for the PDA 'cause he's chomping at the bit to touch you every moment.

• it shocks you to learn physical touch is his love language, what with the way Neil abuses him; you'd assumed touch might trigger him.

• but Billy explains to you that your touch could never hurt him and he relishes in the warmth your hands provide. instead of the fear Neil instilled, your touch gave comfort. warmth. hope, and peace.

• so, you run with that information. walking around the mall? your hands are conjoined or an arm is around someone's waist. at school? your hand might stray to run through his curls in the cafeteria, earning his attention. grocery store? boy's got his hands around your waist, or somewhere near your neck, while you push the cart lazily up and down the aisles.

• yes, yes, yes, Billy comes to you when anything goes wrong. he's never been like that, he doesn't understand why now, all of a sudden when he's overwhelmed, he's sneaking out and running to your house. but you're a safety net for him, and you wipe his tears; how can he not feel safe with you?

• your mom don't like him 'cause she's heard all the rumors. she even once belonged to Karen Wheeler's bookclub but left it because all the middle aged ladies were talking about her daughter's boyfriend hyper-sexually.

• she had a hard time looking Billy in the eye after that.

• it makes your mom a bit uneasy. but she respects your wishes and your want to be in a relationship. so, life carries on with a few back handed or passive aggressive comments.

• you don't like the smell of cigarettes so he won't smoke around you. you know it's a hard habit to kick and sometimes he'll ask if it's okay, but he'll definitely refrain from smoking cigarettes around you.

• he might even start to feel a little insecure and leaves an extra shirt in the trunk of his car to change into so that your nose isn't pressed right against the smoke-filled fabric.

• Billy's a big ass baby, man. look, he's a total sucker for not doing shit; throwing a movie on and literally laying on top of you. one of your hands would run through his hair as the other caressed the skin of his neck and cheek. one leg laid flat along his as the other bends to lean against his hip and keep him cocooned in your love.

• he'll often fall asleep like that. big ass baby. God, i love him.

• loves when you play with his hair. you're the only one he allows - no, i'm serious! others have tried, others really want to, but Billy never let them. until you and then it felt like your hands belonged in his silky tresses.

• don't get me started on Billy being protective. cause that's his whole thing, okay?

• shit, got me started. look, so, Billy gives a WHOLE new meaning to being protective. he's defending you against anyone - even his own father - because nobody talks shit about you.

• he's been handed a few beatings by Neil for raising his voice in defense of you.

• but he says he'd do it again and again. nobody got to say a single word he didn't like about you. girls in the locker rooms? yeah, all that gossip stopped after Billy confronted the cheer captain before Chrissy.

• few boys at a party looking at you like you're a piece of meat? oh, look! a heavy arm is slinging around your shoulders to turn you; a hand gripping you cheeks to pull you in for a bruising kiss. due to the intensity, you know he's staking his claim; sliding your tongue into his mouth as distraction.

• does the trick because he's groaning when you pull back. his hand's on your ass, telling anyone watching who you belonged to.

• he'll approach those dudes later and growl, "i catch you lookin' at my girl again, it'll be the last time you have eyes."

• is it aggressive? yes, but so is Billy, and so is his determination to protect you. he doesn't always know the best way to do that but he's figuring it out as he goes.

• you often have talks about his protectiveness but you understand he's very unsure how to go about all of this, so, you both take it in stride. if he catches your glare when he's acting up, he'll begrudgingly back down but that's okay. why? 'cause you're taking his hand and pulling you both away from whatever situation set him off.

• and he's a sweetheart when he wants to be. baby boy can't stand to see your tears, so, if you start to cry, every defense he has is dropping.

• he's been the reason for your tears a few times and he's gutted by the idea. so, you see the progress he makes in avoiding previous issues to avoid your tears.

• communication's difficult for Billy but he tries, only for you. he knows you can't read his mind and he needs to verbalize his needs; maybe doing it a little roughly but he was doing it at least. and practice makes perfect, so, it's fine.

• because your relationship is a partnership that you both have equal stake in. your job isn't to judge, but to encourage.

• but you also get him to open up communication with Max and Susan - since Neil is a lost cause.

• you've never seen Neil physically strike Billy but you've heard the yelling and you've heard the impact of a few slaps from your place in Billy's bedroom and theirs from the kitchen.

• on those days, Billy's darting back into his room and closing the door before leaning against it. his cheek's red and swelling slightly, making you stand in worry. but your movement shakes him from his thoughts and he's sniffling, "get your things, sweet girl, we're heading out."

• "where?"

• "anywhere that isn't here. i can't have you here when he's riled up like that, we gotta go."

• always protecting you.

• ayo, y’all know that medallion he wears? well guess what? he placed it around your neck and claims it’ll protect you when he can’t. he wants to see it on you. my fucking HEART.

• Billy comes to you for any academic help. he doesn't give a single fuck about school, didn't even bring a pencil his first week. but he doesn't want to flunk out and repeat so he puts in just enough effort.

• sometimes, it's not enough and he's coming to you to help proofread his essay to ensure he got at least a 75% to weigh his grade to passing.

• he gets an 88% and fucks you into the mattress.

• you're a lot more inclined to help him with homework after that.

• he's a private person. so, even if you're left in his room while he showers or goes to handle whatever Neil's yelling about, you're not able to see many personal things. everything's hidden and you're not about to snoop through his shit.

• eventually, after a particularly hard day, he's holding you in his arms, on his bed, and then reaching for a wooden box under it. inside are pictures and memorabilia, explaining he hid it so Neil couldn't weaponize it against him.

• and in front of your eyes, he takes a polaroid photo of you two and places it in the box for safekeeping. "because i treasure you, my sweet girl," he'd whisper. "don't want anyone taking this from me."

• heart melts.

• Billy dominates you. like clockwork.

but y'all ever see Game of Thrones and Khaleesi rides Khal Drogo for the first time? he comes in ready to dominate her and she's like nah, l got this and rides him to oblivion?

• think THAT but with Billy.

• he'll want you to be a plaything one day, but the next, he's mewling like a bitch in heat while you ride him. he'll even let your hand wrap around his throat when you're on top.

• he won't admit he likes it but you can tell.

• Billy likes telling you how pretty you are. you get all flustered and he adores it, finding it funny that he'll be balls deep in you, telling you all kinds of profane things he wanted to do to your pussy and you'll just eat it up - but the moment he tells you you're beautiful, you're all embarrassed like a school girl.

• spurs the nickname "pretty girl". he'll call you other pet names, too, but he'll always resort back to "pretty" or "sweet girl".

• big sucker for the troupe, 'never calling you your government name unless angry' cause that's Billy. like 100%. he won't call you your name unless angry (at you) or trying to be serious. meaning it's always a pet name rolling off his tongue.

• HA! good luck trying to leave Billy without a kiss goodbye. it does NOT matter if you literally run up to him because you forgot your chapstick in his jacket pocket and have to get back to practice - he's pulling you in for a kiss before you leave. going to work? where's his kiss, huh? oh, you thought you were getting out of this car without a kiss? that's illegal. the toll tax is now three kisses.

• the boy melts when you kiss him and your hand will hold his cheek. so simple but so intimate for him.

• and when cuddling, he's a big fan of feeling your nails against his skin and scalp. he even likes it when you trace over his face with a fingertip, leaning in to peck his lips quickly before huddling back under his chin.

• Billy often wonders what he did to deserve you - often comes up with jackshit.

• he says he loves you first but it starts as a fight. probably over something stupid, like Tommy H. hitting on you in calculus, but it'll snowball out of control because he's scared of what he's feeling, and over the very idea that someone could take you from him.

• when Billy's scared, fight or flight kicks in and his natural instinct is to fight then flee. so, he'll pick at scabs and old wounds to make them bleed so you won't try to stop him when he leaves.

• but you've been around long enough to know how he ticks.

• the conversation will be instigated by you, begging him to tell you the fucking truth, and he's shouting, "because I'm in love with you, for fuck's sake!"

• mmmmh, yeah, you get fucked on the couch that night because you can't make it to his room. thankfully, nobody was home because y'all are like frantic rabbits going at it. and when you're on top that night, you tell him, "i love you too," against his lips; that fucking hand holding against his cheek.

• he goes a little feral and will wrap his arms around your waist to hold you in position before jackhammering his hips up into yours. growling, sweating, just desperate to be as physically close to one another as possible.

• he wants to hear you say you love him all the time now. Billy needs a lot of reassurance and you've plenty to give. he'll make it a point to remind you he loves you even when in a fight - the very idea of you thinking he didn't anymore enough to make him want to tug his hair out.

• baby boy feels like his mother didn't know / hear how much he loved her, and that's why she easily left him behind. so, he'll be damned if he lets you think the same thing.

• don't try the whole words of affirmation shit because it'll literally always end in a fight. some abusive conditioning can't be changed.

• doesn't mean you let Billy forget his value. and oh, fuck, is he grateful for you. he's insecure under all that bravado and telling him you see his value is almost as good as hearing you loved him.

• in public, he's usually whispering in your ear some shitty joke. arm around your neck and shoulders. just happy to be near each other and never once giving a fuck about PDA.

• you never touch a door, you hear me? never. Billy opens all doors, even if he's pissed off.

speaking of -

• nobody angers him like you, because you're so close.

• but also, nobody can bring Billy back to reality like you can.

• he stops beating people up because he worries about your opinion of him; and he never wants to give you reason to be afraid of him.

• but when angry, he's loud. he throws shit. he'll curse and when overwhelmed, he'll cry and break down in earnest confusion.

• his anger takes over and makes his heart feel heavy; but after the initial storm cloud, he's vulnerable and stripped bare of his defenses as you're cuddling him close.

• Billy tells you he doesn't like to be so angry and he's trying to find other outlets.

• and you assure him that it's okay to feel overwhelmed and like he's gonna blow his top off. it's okay to have emotion, and it's okay to not know what to do with it.

• fuck and that smile? man, he's got you like putty in his hands when he flashes that blinding smile.

• it's cool though 'cause he's totally whipped and if you pout, he's going to get whatever you asked him for. baby boy's a sucker for your puppy dog eyes, making it your secret weapon. you don't use it often but when you do, Billy swears his heart beat stops and speeds up all at the same time.

• he really likes kissing you. if you're not in the mood to fuck, you're tired, stressed, whatever, he's fine with it as long as you're game for a little make out session. honestly? you're never not game.

• Billy's a big cuddler but never in front of people, only ever in private.

• but he's very proud to be your man so he looks for any reason to touch you. it's a sense of both protectiveness and possession; daring anyone to come and relinquish his claim so he might have reason to beat the shit outta one of these punks looking at his girl.

• or so his brain tells him. he's much more even tempered with you but every now and then, old habits flare up, and it's up to you to safely defuse the time bomb that is Billy's anger.

• Billy often doesn't feel worthy of you, so, he'll start fights. you're quick to shut it down.

• and when it's good, it's really good.

• boy will bring you flowers because it makes him feel like he's doing at least something right. and the way your lips will spread in a beaming smile has him making a mental note to pick up another bouquet sometime soon.

• picnics. i know, he doesn't seem the type, you thought so as well. but it's solitary for you both; peaceful and away from the crazy shit going on in town. besides, when he's with you, he's not looking at anyone or wondering about their opinion - his focus is 110% on you.

• which means he can read your body language like he's fluent. nervous ticks? he knows 'em. gotta pee? he can tell. feeling some pent up sexual frustration? he's not sure how it's possible but he knows what's going on, and he's taking action.

• he knows your birthday and anniversary too, so, he's always prepared. never before had he cared about ANY of that - but then you happened, and it all changed.

• ugh - changing Billy's attitude around. he's not so much of a dickhead once he starts dating you. everyone at school notices it.

• he's stupid sweet and gentle with you. he'll stand at your locker and curl your hair behind both ears as you talk; completely focused on all that you are.

• rejects other girls (harshly) because he's enamored with you. and he doesn't like people hitting on him when they know he's with you, it feels like blatant disrespect.

• forehead kisses like a motherfucker.

• Billy telling you you're the calm he needs in life.

• he's adores you, kinda thing. you can do no wrong, kinda thing.

• he pulls you into his lap a lot. again, PDA ain't no worry to him. just no cuddling... but hanging on his lap with an arm around his shoulders is A-OK.

• in fact, he takes it a few steps farther and sees where the most public place you two can have sex is.

• so far, the movie theater was it but that was complicated and not a whole lot of fun considering you were freaked out the whole time.

• but you made it up to him by taking him up the water tower and going three rounds.

• sex is a staple in any relationship, okay? but Billy's never pressured you and always lets you drive the situation. he honestly likes spending time with you, so, if you don't fuck, he doesn't care.

• only your boyfriend is stupid hot and you look for reasons to jump his bones. mmh...

• and when he's feeling randy and wanting to dominate - LORD! the way that boy makes you feel should be borderline illegal. his touches like hot rocks against your skin; kisses from pillowy lips that tasted suspiciously like your chapstick; tongue sweeping over your neck and making your mind go a little fuzzy.

• you go with him on his 18th to get his skull tattoo. you make a joke about getting a matching one but he's really turned on by the idea. you consider it for a few months.

• maybe you do it, maybe not. but you do get a tattoo and Billy's almost humping the air when he sees it.

• nope, he's not letting you paint his nails but he'll give you his opinion on colors. in fact, he'll catch a little bit of an attitude when he notices the once cherry red color of your fingernails has turned into a midnight blue, asking, "your other boyfriend like this color?"

• "baby, i can pick out my nail color."

• "just usually ask me my opinion," he'd huffed.

• you ask him before you change it now.

• matching his and her sunglasses.

• listen to me: nobody touches a fucking thing in Billy's Camaro. okay? but for you... yeah, okay, he's actually okay with you changing the radio station. and adjusting the temperature in the car. and sure, he'd probably kick anyone else out if they tried this, but he actually smiles when your feet escape your shoes to curl under you in his passenger seat.

• you're the only person he trusts to drive his car, too. doesn't happen often but twice now, he'd gotten shitfaced at a party and it was your responsibility to get you both home.

• clingy drunk Billy. might even fuck around and pout at you. Definitely just wants you to lay with him, touch him, be close to him.

• he's not used to being loved so it's a learning experience for you both. but when his head is nestled between your shoulder and neck, breathing in your scent while a hand lazily traces along your belly, there's nothing he'd rather do than this life with you.

• you're the calm, he's the fury. you're the eye, he's the storm. you're the soft and smooth, he's the rough and jagged. but i'll be damned if this relationship isn't exactly what he needs.

• you're unyielding in your love and affection, and he's silently thanking God as you lay in his arms. his eyes might even well with unshed tears as he thinks over in his head every reason he doesn't deserve you, but every reason he'll selfishly keep you.

• oof, but Billy operates on a short fuse so when he's feeling touchy, you have to tread carefully. due to how close you guys are, you're usually the first line of defense he takes his irritation out on and that results in you ignoring him for days.

• but Billy's full of remorse; knowing Neil made him feel like shit and it wasn't fair to in turn take it out on you, just so you'd feel the same. so, he's going to Max for advice.

• i know, holy shit, right? it's just, he's not used to fucking shit up and then wanting to fix it - he usually just runs. but he's tired of running, so, he asks Max to help.

• and Max loves you and thinks Billy's a different person since meeting and dating you, so, she agrees. and the Hargrove / Mayfield siblings are concocting some plan.

• turns out, he doesn't need a big plan - he just needs honesty. he'll get you your favorite flowers and crawl up the oak tree in your yard, balance himself, and knock on your window.

• '80s parents and guardians are oblivious, so, nobody hears him sneaking in and out almost every other night. call that child safety.

• but it's been 3 WHOLE days since he's seen or kissed you, and poor baby is going a little crazy. he'll present the flowers and crawl into your bed, the pair of you dedicating that moment to talk about what happened and how to avoid it in the future.

• and Billy might let a tear or two fall, asking, "why do you forgive me so easily?"

• "because i can see you're genuinely upset by this, baby," you'd sighed, pushing a few curls from his forehead. "but that doesn't mean this can continue. you've gotta do better, baby, please."

• "for you? anything."

• "do it for the both of us, hmm?"

• it's not all sunshine and rainbows when loving a complicated man, and i can't even say it'll be worth the inevitable uphill battle. but it's definitely a love for the ages and you wouldn't want anyone else.

• only guy who's ever made you squirt and he's very proud of that. it's now a personal mission of his to see how many orgasms he can coax from you in a single night. current record: seven. yeah, that boy wants to be soaked, wow. absolutely mesmerized by you when he gets this kind of physical reaction.

• he's always proud of you, too.

• if you're a cheerleader, he's picking you up in his arms and telling you how flawless your routine was (even if you know there was a few missteps).

• if you're an athlete, best believe he's at every single game just to cheer you on. he might even keep record of your stats.

• you passed that stupid hard final in your AP History class? you're literally rushing down the hall, spying Billy, and when he sees you coming with a grin and that fucking packet clutched in your hands, he's stooping low to catch you in his embrace and spin you around, "aha! my smart girl! i knew you'd do fine. you were worrying for nothin', huh? that's my girl."

• and when he calls you 'his girl', your stomach's in a flurry of butterflies no matter how often you hear it.

• you have a deal that you can't call him this in public but he doesn't all the way hate when you call him 'baby boy'.

hmmm, maybe i'm projecting...

• Billy talks about taking you to Cali with him. and you go visit his grandparents during spring break.

• when i say they adore you, i'm talking they fucking adore you to the point they're asking 18 year-old Billy when he's gonna pop the question.

• makes him choke a little out of surprise but recovers, "soon. you'll be the first to know when it happens."

• you can't help but joke, "wouldn't i know first?"

• "nah, i'd tell them before asking you," Billy smirked, nodding at his grandparents across the table.

• he's just so fucking different when in a good, loving, healthy relationship. he's toxic as fuck - we know - but he can recognize his wrongdoings and attempt to rectify them.

• he's constantly offering you compliments about anything.

• "God, you look adorable in that skirt - c'mere."

• "damn, baby, i didn't know Playboy was lookin' for new models."

• "you forreal wrote this essay? baby, this is really well done."

• "hey, superstar."

• mmh, breakfast dates are his favorite. breakfast foods are his favorite, so, you've gotten in a rhythm to cook for him on the weekend mornings.

• oof, wait! the dates! he's broke as shit, cool. but he can make anything an interesting time by just being there.

• so, you go to a lot of parties together but usually duck out with a handle of vodka to head for the quarry overlook. he likes to hang out there, laid back on the hood of his car, looking up into the vast nothingness of the universe while contemplating life.

• Billy's a deeper than we give him credit for. again, it's all hidden under a mask of indifference and dickheadedness, but it's there!

• nature hikes 'cause ain't sit else to do in this small town!

• he'll take you to concerts out of town; diners; long drives; fairs in the summer; he might've even arranged with his neighbor to let you guys in their backyard to hang out with the litter of puppies their dog just had.

• honestly, anything he can think of to make you smile, Billy's finding some way to make it happen.

• trust and believe you can handle his anger and outbursts. you don't shut down, you stand strong while rationally, logically trying to navigate his feelings. when he crosses a line, you'll end the conversation and walk away because he needs time to cool off.

• you're usually very forgiving but not always with Billy - who needs to learn there's often consequences to actions and words.

• hard lesson to learn but he's an avid student.

• Billy offering massages. his hands are Godly and you never refuse.

• might sound really out of character, but he's a fucking professional at handling your period. know how he keeps a duffel at your place? he's got one for you, too, at his. but it's period supplies so you never got a moment worrying about it.

• he'll pour some rice in a sock, tie it up, heat it for a minute or so, and lay it against your lower stomach before crawling into bed with you. sometimes, cramps might make you curl up a little in pain, but Billy's there to get you pain killers, water, snacks if you want them, but especially just to hold you.

• and he'll tell you he read some article in a magazine about how sex is supposed to help with period pains and cramps. what a horndog, you know? don't tell him, but it helps.

• Billy's an ass man. i wish i could explain it but if you get it, you get it. if you don't, that's okay. 'cause he's been known to be titty guy but it's your ass, man. Billy Boy loses rational thought when his hands are all over you.

• he gets you new earrings because you often accessorize your outfits with them. it was a fun yet subtle way to show off originality and Billy finds himself looking through a few jewelry kiosks at the mall.

• you cannot convince me otherwise that Billy doesn't get you a necklace with his name on it. i won't hear it 'cause he's definitely the type to, okay?

• his leather jacket is your favorite because it's oversized and has a musky undertone to the usual smell of his cologne. he knows this and will drop it over your shoulders without needing to ask if you're cold.

• but hey - you're a big fan of wearing your man's clothes, okay?

• he'll come pick you up for school and see you walking out in one of his shirts and have to swallow from the way his mouth salivates.

• finding empty classrooms during lunch or study hall to fuck in.

• Billy doesn't understand 'aftercare' until you. he'll stand from the bed to light a cigarette and tug his boxers on, peaking over at you and noting the way your legs trembled. he'd realize and grab his shirt to clean you up before laying right back beside you.

• "did i hurt you?"

• "no, i'm okay," you'd assure; the feeling of his bare skin on yours something close to Heaven on earth. and the way his finger tips would drag over your bare body, unsure of the patterns he's drawing; but sinking further into his embrace? yeah - God sent.

• while you don't often fight, if you piss him off, he's a loose canon. you remind yourself he's feeling defensive and like he has to lash out, trying not to take things to heart. but he's still Billy, still a dickhead, and he's still going for the jugular.

• he won't look at you for days. won't pick you up, drop you home, give your flowers, kiss you, won't even fucking acknowledge you.

• fuck, it hurts.

• but he's the one then showing up one morning outside your house as you get your shoes on to catch the bus.

• knowing he was over his initial irritation, you'll cautiously approach the car as he gets out.

• "here to insult me a bit more?"

• and his hand is running through his hair, eyes sad and downcast, ringed with red to indicate unrest and emotional turmoil.

• "i'm so fucking sorry, baby, i really am."

• here's the thing - Billy doesn't know how to apologize. he doesn't do it often to anyone, so, the words never really formed naturally on his tongue.

• but with you, he's on the verge of panicked tears as he's word vomiting to you how sorry he is. he'd never stutters over his apology to you because you're the only person he considers worthy of his genuine remorse.

• and you definitely punish him by making him hang out with you, Max, Steve Harrington, Robin Buckley and the other party members.

• no, you don't get him to play D&D with them - mostly because Max warned them not even to mention it.

• but he's a good sport and will let the kids get in his car, the others in Steve's, and might take them to the pool despite being off for the day. only because he knows he has to make it up to you.

• look, he's got some flaws, okay? but Billy definitely tries his best when it involves something he's genuinely interested in. you're the first person in X number of years to warrant this kind of feeling in him, so, he's adamant on keeping this love.

• i can fix him, your honor! give me a chance!

4 years ago
REVENGE OF THE SITH, 2005 Dir. George Lucas
REVENGE OF THE SITH, 2005 Dir. George Lucas

REVENGE OF THE SITH, 2005 dir. George Lucas

5 years ago

i’m so new at tumblr i keep forgetting how to properly switch my accounts so i keep reblogging 5sos stuff here. i’m sorry guys!

4 years ago
Extra Af Ponytail Anakin

extra af ponytail Anakin

5 years ago

Every girl has had the experience where a creepy guy asks for our number and we don’t want to give it to him, but we also don’t want to get gutted in a back alley. “Give him a fake number!” I hear you call, okay and then he says “okay let me call you real quick!” Because they are learning. “Give them your number and then block them!” Okay and then they can plug it into something like Spokeo, pay $10 and know everything about you. So what do you do?

First pick a fake name, I use Jessica, then download the Google Voice app, hook it up to your email, pick a number, and set up a fake greeting with your fake name. You can set it to ring your actual phone like a normal call or text but they don’t have real info on you.

Go forth and don’t get murdered, ladies!

4 years ago

star wars characters as john mulaney quotes pt. 1

anakin:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

obi wan:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

ahsoka:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

padme:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

rex:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

cody:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

maul:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1

c3po:

Star Wars Characters As John Mulaney Quotes Pt. 1
4 years ago

okay i posted bye i didn’t think i’d ever post that shit-

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monamourbladie-mb - moved accounts !!!
moved accounts !!!

MB FOR @monamourbladie I DONT POST ANYWHERE BUT THERE NOW

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