Disney: you can make your movie R-rated but their relationship can’t be explicitly gay
Ryan: oh don’t worry this is a totally platonic road trip buddy comedy
The movie: The poster says, “best friends come together”, there’s a meet cute ugly at a bar and Logan immediately assumes Wade is there to hook up with him (so does the bartender), Wade calls him baby boy, and angel baby, their road trip song is a rock ballad about being lonely and wanting to meet someone, the second act has the classic romcom miscommunication/fight, they’re having a heated fight to one of the most iconic love song duets ever, Wade says, “the Honda Odyssey fucks hard too bad you don’t” and Logan says, “oh we’re just getting started”, after that there’s a shot where car they're in is rocking back and forth for hours and then it cuts to them asleep the next morning, there’s a line about Wade having Logan’s dick in his mouth (spoken by Ryan’s daughter), there’s a scene where they’re looking at each other longingly through a window because they think Wade is about to die (even though Logan hated him yesterday), Wade is very clearly staring at Logan’s abs after his shirt explodes then makes him put on a shirt after he sees other people also looking, they save each others lives by holding hands to a Madonna song about blowjobs, Logan starts walking away until Wade calls after him and he stops like he’s about to turn around and run back and kiss him but the camera cuts off before he does, Wade introduces Logan to Al like a nervous teenager introducing his girlfriend to his mom, and the last shot is their masks sitting next to each other in their ONE BEDROOM APARTMENT
Disney: ok we have notes
Ryan: no.
The movie: *makes $1,000,000,000*
UGH SOMEBODY SEDATE ME
Thinking about a duct tape wizard
Steve: Why do people always assume me and Robin are a couple? Girls and boys can be friends!
Eddie: … it’s not because you’re a dude and she’s a girl… Steve… I hang out with Nancy all the time and no one thinks we’re dating.
Steve, running his hand through Robins hair: What is it then?
Eddie, giving a sign of frustration: You are literally holding her hand right now.
Steve: so??
Eddie: You shared a milkshake with her at the diner yesterday, with one straw
Steve: Is everyone a germaphobe now?
Eddie: YOU SLEEP IN THE SAME BED
Steve: We have nightmares!! It’s comforting!!
Eddie: you’re wearing her shirt right now!
Steve: we’re the same size!! Clothes have no gender!!
Eddie: YOU HAVE PROMISE RINGS
Steve: FRIENDSHIP PROMISE RINGS
Eddie: You got matching tattoos! You have her name tattooed next to your heart?? Friends don’t do that!!
Steve: Well obviously they do!
Eddie: You spent last week openly planning your wedding! I’ve seen your wedding planner! It’s like 200 pages!!
Steve: HEY I’ve always wanted to get married okay I’ve been making that binder since I was 8 and she needs a beard!! It works for both of us!! She’s letting me plan the whole thing!!
Eddie: YOU INVITE HER TO OUR DATE NIGHTS STEVE!!
Steve: IM NEW TO DATING MEN OKAY SOMETIMES I NEED SUPPORT
*calling your colleague voluptuous* *begging him for kisses* *bouncing on it (his lap, while manifesting a goal)* yeah. checks out. just a normal day at the office for them
Southern but make it cunty
There's just somethin bout him...
if I got to the Sinyala, my first goal would be to get a cigarette
obligatory i wonder what i taste like meme old man yaoi edition
I work at a movie theater and this happened last week
Imma need to take a bite of this man