A Thousand Words

a thousand words

pairings (separately!) - diluc ragnvindr, kaeya alberich, albedo, childe, zhongli, xiao, kaedehara kazuha, scaramouche, dainsleif x gender neutral reader

word count - 2322

genre - hurt/comfort

format - drabbles

warnings - crying, focal point on being touch starved, use of xiao's real name because i love him, cursing in scara's because there will ALWAYS be cursing in scara's

summary - a touch starved reader crumbles upon being given love and affection for the first time by their beloved <3

a/n - hop aboard the self indulgent train!!!/hj but this idea has been on my mind for a while now so i'm eager to write it! :D also this is borderline rambling i apologize if it's not your thing :')))

our actions hold within them partial universes created of stardust and glitter, and a thousand words rooted in the slight slip of one's hand across another's cheek, or perhaps a longing, loving gaze that manages to enrapture another and speak volumes in silence. a simple hug would speak even more than thick, yellowed books and detailed encyclopedias that stretch on for volume upon volume.

you began to realize this when the way in which he caressed your cheek with such love had you melting under his breathy gaze and falling limp in his arms. his body alone seemed to preach with an airy cadence without a single word escaping past his lips.

for so long you'd bared the biting nip of frosting cold and let a sheen of ice coat itself along your skin. yet his touch seemed to melt what remained of blooming winter both in your heart and soul and left behind a shivering something, curled up in a ball and smaller than a marble: the desire for affection, to be loved, and to be wanted.

even now as his arms fit snug around your body for the first time, you let your mind wander to your times of icy frost and barren loneliness where only the softness of your pillow could provide some sort of solace for the gaping hole in your heart where loving hugs and kisses to your cheek were supposed to fit perfectly.

"is this okay?"

you wanted to laugh bitterly at how courteous he was,

"such a gentleman, of course it is." you teased despite the watery waver to the tail end of your voice.

when his arms drew tighter around your body and you felt his lips come to once again melt away at the snow around your temple, your mind drew back to those sleepless nights where all you longed for was one single hug, and suddenly all the snow had been thawed by his touch and left behind a calm, gentle stream of rivulets that trickled down your cheeks from the reservoirs hidden behind your eyes.

oh, how loved you felt in his arms.

content utc!

diluc.

upon hearing the first of your sniffles, diluc's body went rigid as rock as he hurried to pull you away from his shoulder and inspect your face. what he hadn't expected was for you to dive right back in, your arms slung around his torso as if holding too slack would mean he'd fade away into nothing and you'd be left to bear the stinging void of loneliness once again.

"please don't let me go, not yet." sputtered between little hiccups and wheezes, you prayed that he managed to hear the words you spoke directly into his heart.

and hear them he did, in fact he did more than hear them: he understood them. his strong, broad arms moved upwards to hold your body tight against his, taking great care to treat you as if you'd break under his touch. the gentle swipe of hair from your damp forehead and brush of his fingers against your tear-soaked cheeks had your knees buckling under the newfound touch.

to admit his own starve of touch out loud would embarrass him to no end, but he'd never deny the way your warmth made his heart flutter. and he hoped that he could mend the holes in your heart and indulge in each other's arms and this foreign feeling of touch, together.

"it's okay," diluc spoke into the roots of your hair, eyes shutting in pure bliss, "i'm here now, you're not alone anymore."

and you believed him, with all your heart.

kaeya.

"angel? what's going on? are those tears i see?"

despite the teasing lilt to his voice, the worry lined around his lilac pupils could never betray his mind. his hands held your sniffling face as if you were crafted by the gods themselves, each swipe of his thumb careful and gentle and each peck to your nose, eyelid, cheeks, forehead, and lips held within them words that never needed to be said.

"kaeya?"

"yes, darling?"

"could i have another hug?" if your words weren't enough to depict how much you loved him, your eyes screamed in volumes loud enough for the gods themselves to hear them.

kaeya wanted to give you one of his charming chuckles and offer up a cheesy, teasing response like, "aww, it seems not even you can evade my wicked, boyish charm."

but he knew better, and he knew that he understood you more than he let on. so instead of speaking, his arms wrote poetry wrapped tight around your waist, and his lips uttered lyrics to love ballads in the form of pressing kiss after kiss to your hair.

what remained on his skin was the thawed droplets of ice that once covered his body, all thanks to your warmth were they melted and gone. he prayed you'd never let go of him, because he knew he'd never let you slip from his arms.

albedo.

confused, albedo gently pries your face away from his shoulder and takes the first step in brushing away the drops of sorrow that flowed freely from your eyes.

"did something happen, my flower? was i perhaps too rough with my hug?" ever the diligent scientist, albedo's eyes scan yours for any sign of discomfort. yet what he finds staring back at him is the void in your irises beginning to fill up with his reflection, and his theory soon becomes fact when you say nothing more and head straight back into his arms, squeezing tighter and tighter with all of your strength.

you'd come crashing into his life with all of the gentleness of a bull in a ceramics shop, and yet you felt so soft, so fragile in his arms.

"just one more hug, i promise." despite the obvious strain to your voice and the tears that dampened his shirt, albedo conceded and decided to play into your fantasy, where he gives you just one more hug.

albedo himself knows not much of affection, but what he has been able to conclude from his studies is that he loves sharing it with you. and he doesn't need a notebook to detail such findings when he has the ability to hold you tight in his arms and let the beat of his heart detail his findings to your listening ears.

childe.

"hey, what's wrong? did someone hurt you? did you have a bad day?"

despite the literal chain bomb that was childe's constant stream of questions, his tightened grip only served to make your tears fall faster from your eyes as you realized just how loved you felt in his embrace.

without even needing to open your mouth, he seemed to realize right away when your fist gathered clumps of his shirt into your fingers and gripped with white knuckles.

"oh sunshine," he cooed, moving his thumb to brush just underneath the red rim of your eye, "c'mere. i'll give you lots of cuddles."

and give you lots of cuddles he did. you would never slip from his arms, not with how secure and firm they rested around your body, locked in tight and confirmed with the gentle squeeze to your torso every now and then to remind you of how real he was.

despite the fact that his shirt would be wrinkled with how hard you gripped onto the fabric, or the noticeable wet patch you'd leave on his shoulder from your tears, childe relished in the feeling of your puzzle piece bodies fitting together as one. as much as you craved him, he was addicted to you.

zhongli.

to many who have uttered his name in prayer, they asked for good fortune, another chance, or something along the lines that would only be grantable by a god.

but you uttered no words, not a single peep. instead you spoke his name through the way in which your eyes silently pleaded with him to hold you tight against his chest and he felt your prayers of love deep within the caverns of his heart.

"i'm here, my lily. you never have to ask me to hold you. if you so desire it, it shall be yours."

his words seemed to spur your sobs onwards, but he knew they were from a place that you had long sealed away, a place that had been released with only a single one of his hugs.

zhongli was a man of many words but he was content to let the way in which he held you tight against his throbbing heart speak the words he could never find.

xiao.

your cries are like stabs through the heart for xiao. poor, poor alatus who tries so hard not to mess up the one good thing that's come to him in a long, long time.

he slides away from your embrace in fear that he may have hurt you, which, much to his surprise, only makes your stuttered breaths and rolling tears increase.

"don't go..." you mumbled as you raced against his mind to clutch his torso with all you were.

he doesn't understand, to comprehend such intricacies of the human condition were far beyond his reach and yet he allows you to indulge in feeling the pound of his heart hammer away from under the thin skin of his chest and the feel of his fingers tracing patterns on the underside of your back.

his fears of your pain or sorrow are washed away when he brings you closer to his body and dives into the crook of your neck.

and as your fingers come up to card through his thick locks, he finds himself ever so close to joining you in melting the frigid snow that lay around his heart in exchange for calm, gentle rivers.

kazuha.

the minute tears fall from your eyes, kazuha sweeps in to kiss them away as if sensing your sorrow before you even know it.

"your tears wound me ever so deep, my love. what happened?"

but you can't give a straight answer, not with how the overwhelming warmth that encircles your body overpowers you brain and leaves you a bumbling mess in his arms.

you only answer with the glassy, longing look you give him and the burrowing of your body closer into his arms. any more and you'd merge with him.

his touch is gentler than the drop of a crimson leaf in early fall, and quieter than the gentle shake of wildflowers in spring. he feels like life itself, and as you inhale more of him through your nose you feel yourself unbinding the cords and vines wrapped around your heart.

once his hand came to stroke the top of your head, all while his soothing voice gently shushed your tears and muffled sobs, all you could do was melt and indulge in the finest that kazuha had to offer.

and kazuha knows that he'd do anything to fill the void within you where he fits perfectly.

scaramouche.

"why are you crying? who hurt you?! i'm going to fucking kill them-"

"n-no! scara no!"

the crack in your voice in enough to settle him down and allows you to return to placing your head in the crook of his shoulder. "just for a little bit...let's stay like this, please." you plead into his skin.

scaramouche can't help but indulge you, even if the sight of your tears or the way your shoulders rise up and down sharply sends shooting pains to that odd thing in his chest.

"if nothing's wrong then stop crying, it's annoying." despite his harsh words, his large palm comes up to hold the back of your head against his body, while the other arm pressed your body flush against his.

the way in which he held you completed contradicted his words, and his lingering touch was one you knew you'd think about for the rest of your life so long as you lived.

scaramouche himself felt the similar gaping hole in his chest begin to close, and the foreign feeling for once felt pleasant instead of painful.

"so...you like this kinda stuff?"

with a vigorous nod of your head and tighten grip around his torso, 'noted', scaramouche thought and allowed himself a single, small fraction of a smile that of which he buried into your temple in hopes that you'd see him with your eyes closed.

dainsleif.

you're so tender and soft, dainsleif almost feels as if he's holding a timid daisy rather than his beloved partner.

though he claims to be devoid of so many human traits, you feel his warmth and hear the thunder of his heartbeat against your ear. in this moment you realize: there is someone who loves you, and someone who treasures you enough to allow you close to their heart.

his first hug in so long brings him to near tears, and the spur of rivers that trickled down your face worried him to no end as he makes haste to slip away.

"are you alright? have i hurt you? we don't have to do that again if you don't want-"

you loved him, you loved all of him, even the nervous worrywart side of him that he rarely ever revealed to anyone. but in this moment, all you craved was dainsleif and you made it known of your intentions when you cut his rambling questions off by flinging yourself against his body, holding so tight as if he'd slip through your hands like silky water or thin, granules of sand.

"it feels so nice. you feel so nice." and though normally such bold words would have you flustered and looking away and his cheeks flared up in the color of pyro, dainsleif allows himself this one indulgence and wraps his arms tight around your body as you dry your tears into the fabric of his shirt.

and he'd be sure to never let go until he takes his last breath.

date published: august 18th, 2021

More Posts from Moniemonies and Others

moniemonies

2 months ago

Let's Run Away Together. To The Real World!

Let's run away together. To the real world!

552 notes View Post

moniemonies

4 years ago

hEY ITS YA GIRL SAM BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH ANOTHER REQUEST DJDJJDD

so uh uhm im simping (whats new) and hnng im feeling very soft for xiao, beidou, zhongli and diluc hnng (is that too much?? FEEL FREE TO DO LESS CHARACTERS IF ITS TOO MUCH DONT WORRY DJEJE) may i have some uhh blanket fort headcanons?? Pillow forts?? God i just wanna goof around and cuddle em and make em smile aaaaaa 💖💖💖💖

(Also ps hi!! Hope youve been doin good and reminder to drink water!! Remeber that ur also so fricken cool and talented ily mwah have a lovely day 💝💝)

thank you for the request!! i literally love this idea sm <33 sorry these are taking so long to get out, school’s being a real ass.

tumblr stopped working and kept deleting this im in so much pain

Pillow Forts!

Characters included: Xiao, Beidou, Zhongli, Diluc

Warnings: Language, suggestive themes??? not really but like… mention of vaginas. shhh dont ask i swear its not bad

Xiao

“You want to what?”

He had no idea what a pillow fort was

“Build a pillow fort???”

“The fuck is a pillow fort.”

You gasped because OH MY GOD???

Xiao was slightly taken aback when you looked at him with shock and… despair? He felt kinda bad. Should he have known what a pillow fort was? Did you bring it up before? His expression turned to one more sorrowful. He knew he wouldn’t be good at romance, he never should have-

You grabbed his hand and smiled at him, puling him out of his thoughts

“Then let’s go, I’ll teach you!” You dragged him.

“Wait, hold on-!”

The Vigilant Yaksha wouldn’t let himself be dragged by just anyone… Be glad he didn’t rip your arm off 😅

After explaining to him what it was, he was deadpanning at you, holding a fluffy pillow in his unusually soft hands

no seriously what the fuck why were they so soft

“Are you a child?”

“Mentally, yes. Physically?”

You winked at him, “You should know~”

“…So you are.”

You gasped at him in mock offense, “Xiao!”

“What?! I-” Oh, the little shit definitely knew what he did. You could tell he was trying to hide it, but there was a shit-eating grin growing on his handsome face.

He was cut off by the smack of a pillow to his face, and Verr Goldet was greeted with the mighty adeptus chasing a young woman with a pillow

Well, now you two were tired.

You slightly glared at him while holding your arm because the pillow smacked the living shit out of you there, obviously motioning your head towards the piles of pillows and blankets.

As much as he wanted to ignore you, he lov- no, he cared too much for you, so he acknowledged you and, although reluctantly, began to help you set up a pillow fort.

He was surprisingly good at it! I guess you start to catch onto things quickly when you live for so long.

Finishing it did not take long (you’re pretty sure he speedran through that to get it over with) and he dragged you down next to him on the pillows before you could move to the extra decorations, causing you to wiggle around like a little worm in his grasp.

“Xiao, I want to finish decorating-”

“No.” He tightened his hold on you, pulling you closer into his chest, “Don’t you have to work tomorrow anyways?”

You pouted at him, although he couldn’t see it. but, your face was right in his tiddies, so I mean

“It’s late, sleep now. There is always tomorrow to finish.”

You sighed and turned yourself onto your right side while in his grasp and hugged his frame, wrapping your left leg around him, attempting to pull him as close to you as possible.

He stiffened, then relaxed into you, and wrapped his left arm around your back, accepting the embrace.

Burying his face into your hair, he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Your face was shoved right into his chest, and you breathing was light, but he knew you weren’t asleep yet, because he could feel a grin growing on your face.

“Shhh, don’t say anything-” He tried to stop you.

“I just realized, Xiao…” You whispered to him, a mischievous giggle coming out of your mouth.

“Hm?” He hummed.

“I’m dating a grandpa! An old man! How old are you, gramps?”

He groaned, “Oh my god-”

“Should I send you to the nursing home? Do you need me to- ow!”

“Shut up! Go to sleep!”

Beidou

“A pillow fort, huh? You never fail to amaze me, babe.”

SHE CALLED YOU BABE>>>DJGDH(UDSUGDUhfdUFGFG

“Can you?”

“I’m sure the crew would like a day off.” She grinned at you

Your smile brightened the room

“I love you!”

“Mm, I love you too.” Your arms were wrapped tightly around her

You both stayed in the embrace until she tapped your side, making you squeal and laugh.

“I don’t think the pillow fort is going to build itself, sweets. I mean, unless you have some kind of odd vision I don’t know about-”

You pulled away from her with a shout, “Let’s go! Right now!”

She chased followed you through Liyue Harbor, occasionally getting a greeting such as, “Hey Captain!” or “Glad to see you back safely, Cap’n!”

She tried to greet them back, but your eagerness was leading you to yank her past the citizens before she could say anything except, “Sorry!”

That is, until you stopped in your tracks.

Since you wanted to pull your own weight in the relationship, you decided to continue with your job as a waitress and bring in a little extra money, as well as care for the house while Beidou was gone, as long as you weren’t with her. You would never want her to stop sailing, it was what she loved! And you didn’t want to sail with her as your job, you didn’t think it was fair and you wanted to go through your job all by yourself, even if she promised no special treatment. You also wanted others who felt more at home in the sea to have a chance to go and experience it!

However, work had been… very tough this week, and the house really felt the aftermath of your stress.

We won’t go into detail…

“So you’re just neglected our poor house? Oh, (Y/n), how could you?” Your partner teased.

You had tried to stop her from going into your shared home, saying “we could do this on the boat!” But her curiousness knows no bounds

I suppose that’s why she’s an amazing adventurer!

But back to what’s happening, she walked in, gasped, and looked at you incredulously (of course, she didn’t truly mean it)

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just… work’s been so, so busy this week due to the Lantern Rite, and I-”

“I’m messing with you, babe. Let’s clean this up, then we can build the pillow fort. That sound good?”

“Yeah, thank you.”

Cleaning took a while. Like… a really long time. No room was left untouched!

This also led to extreme fatigue, causing you to crash on each other

“Hm… maybe we should get to building the fort now?”

Her lazy smile was a sight to behold

“Yes, yes…”

You heaved yourself up and both of you got to work

She was very efficient, actually!

Minus points for laughing at you because you put a pillow in the wrong place and made the whole thing fall down >:(

But eventually, you two ended up sitting together, her in your lap, while you read a journal entry she had written on her last voyage.

It was extremely comfortable, and you loved hearing about her adventures. Her passion for exploration was unending and extremely admirable, and you-

“Really? A ‘pussy plant’?”

“Hey! That’s what it looked like! It was under the water, so it was wet too-”

“Beidou!”

Zhongli

“You… wish for me to build you a fort? Very well, then. I can do so.”

“Yeah, Zhongli, can we do- PILLOW FORT, ZHONGLI-! WAIT!”

He has heard of mortals and their odd ways of passing (already short) time… but pillow forts?

Why would you create something so odd?

Overall, he is just very confused.

He is amazing with architecture, though!

Expect him to get really into it once you both begin

“Ah, this pillow should rest… here…”

“Sweetheart, this is just going to be for us to cuddle in.”

You were glad he was enjoying this!

He had a childlike spark of wonder surrounding his being, and you believed you would never see anything like that again in correlation with the former archon.

You wondered if he ever got to experience such simple things when he was still young…

And so, you asked about it!

“My… childhood? That is quite long ago… It is hard to remember what I did back when I was not yet ruling Liyue, but I do not believe I often indulged in such playful activities. It was a time of war and heartbreak, and I do not look back at those days fondly.”

You gave him a bone-crushing hug, one he returned more… carefully.

He does not wish to hurt you, after all.

The finishing product was a sight to behold!

It was symmetrical and sturdy, and quite well decorated.

“Zhongli… did you cut the pillows?”

“I wanted it to look nice for you, dear.”

Cue you tackling him onto the pillows, yelling a playful “You weirdo!”

This started a tickling war, one that he dominated.

Somehow, the two of you flipped over, to where he was on top of you (”No mercy!”) and then you flipped again (”You said it yourself, ‘No mercy!’”)

The both of you let out boisterous laughter, and you stared into his golden eyes, twinkling with joy.

You settled on his chest as the both of you calmed, listening to his heartbeat.

You always found your moments with Zhongli to be relaxing and endearing, always comfortable with the vision-holder.

As you two drifted into a comfortable rest within the fort you had both made, you hoped that he had been able to feel a bit younger again.

Diluc

“If that is what you wish to do for our date, we can do so…”

“Do you not like the idea?”

“It’s not that, I just have not done something so… for lack of a better word, childish, in quite a while.”

“Well, everyone needs to be a kid again at some point! Let’s go, old man!”

And so the whole of Monstadt saw you drag the most esteemed businessman through the city, and all the way to Dawn Winery.

“So! Where do you wanna star— Diluc?”

He was

fucking

excited

THIS MAN WAS TRYING TO HIDE IT BUT HIS CHILDHOOD WAS TAKEN FROM HIM…. HES SO EXCITED TK BUILD A PILLOW FORT

you could practically see his eyes glimmer and shine

now you’re grinning like a mad man.

“how big can we make it?”

“huge”

and you guys made a whole CASTLE

diluc even got the maids to help out

although diluc was excited, he was ass at making the fort

he can sell wine in two minutes flat, but he couldn’t build a house properly in 10 years

that’s okay!! you were there to help

after finishing (with a few errors— the castle fell twice 😭) you two made some tea to relax together in your little castle

you ended up cuddling and talking quietly with one another, you sitting on his lap and leaning back, bringing you hands up to play with his long hair

as you drifted off into sleep, diluc kissed your forehead, muttering a small declaration of love.

he, unfortunately, would have to leave in an hour or two to deal with his duties as “The Darknight Hero”

but for now, he wanted to spend his time with his loved one

once again i apologize for this being forever. school has been so extremely tough and i haven’t had any motivation to write at all. i hope i can get back into it!!

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moniemonies

4 years ago

request: If it isn’t too much trouble, may I request Xiao x Reader x Albedo fluff at either the Lantern Rite or Ludi Harpastum/Windblume Festival? Thank you for your time!!!!

format: drabble + headcanons

ship: xiao x reader x albedo

tags: fluff; author has no idea how to write polyamory lmao

warnings: none

words: 977

notes: sorry if it took a minute but i wasn’t really sure how to write this, i ended up doing a mix of hcs and drabble so i hope that’s cool lmao, also this is not beta read at all :|

Keep reading

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moniemonies

2 weeks ago

Jinshi is not fucking around. In one episode alone, he scares someone so badly she poisons herself:

And the next woman he interrogates pisses herself in fear:

1K notes View Post

moniemonies

4 years ago

USE EARPHONE / HEADPHONE

ig: r5z0r.ds [was darthsoka]

ac: tsookiishima

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moniemonies

2 weeks ago

If I were to give a general estimation as to when i think Maomao gained romantic feelings for Jinshi, it would have been at the end of LN4

Jinshi saves Maomao from her kidnapping, and she returns to working as the Verdigris House's Apothecary. With Jinshi's true status revealed, Maomao assumes she's never going to see him again

She thinks about this a lot, about how she's too low born for someone of his status to ever see her, and how he doesn't even need her help with his injury anyway, because Luoman is at the rear palace now. There's no logical reason for them to ever see each other again. And it itches at her

And so she starts her experiments again, harming herself. There doesn't seem to be a purpose for the concoctions she's making either, as if she's trying to treat something with no obvious cause. Something too deep for the failed medicines to reach

So she goes to cut off her finger. Specifically, her left pinky finger.

Again, there doesn't seem to be a purpose for this behavior at all- until you remember that her mother cut off the tip of her left pinky, out of anguish and rage at Lakan for abandoning her. Fengxian's love for Lakan is the reason her mother harmed her.

Maomao relates that particular finger of her's to romantic love, because of her parent's tragic love story and the trauma it caused her

Maomao knows how stupid love can make even the most intelligent of people, and has consciously and subconsciously avoided it, because she doesn't want to experience that same sort of attachment and hurt. She's heard her parent's story, heard stories of those seeking love at the Verdigris House, how courtesan's speak about love in hushed tones, and how it always ended in pain for everyone involved

But when she thinks she's never going to see Jinshi again, she goes to cut off her left pinky finger, as if on instinct. The finger she associates with romantic love. The same action Fengxian did, when she thought she'd been abandoned by Lakan.

Maomao is doing the exact same thing as her mother, for the exact same reasons.

It's only when Jinshi walks in through the door that Maomao unties her pinky and puts away the knife, and returns to her normal self.

It's one of those things where - I don't think even Maomao understands the reasons behind her actions here. Something was bothering her, something deep, and she went to the only solution she could think of to fix it- cutting off the piece of her that she associates with romantic love- but she stops feeling that subconscious itch as soon as Jinshi comes to see her. As soon as he's back in her life, things are right again, and she stops hurting herself

it's a moment i think about a lot, and it's one of my favorites in the series, because of what it represents for Maomao specifically. it says a lot about her character and how she feels about Jinshi, even if it takes years for those feelings to fully bloom

391 notes View Post

moniemonies

2 weeks ago

“apothecary diaries is a romance” “apothecary diaries is a court drama” wrong. jinshi’s apothecary diaries is a first love romance and maomao’s is a workplace drama. her biggest problem is being fired via execution and his is falling behind on work worrying she’s taking the wrong man home

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moniemonies

4 years ago