Never Forget The Universal Rule Of The Order Of Things: People Will Not Read It

this is such a nishida song

ok YAYS i did it

i found fishie so now we all get TERRIBLY DRAWN sebastian (＾▽＾)

everyone simply must stop saying Grooming when they mean Indoctrination

Hey gotta ask , what happened to the “nishida visit hometown”fic?

They’re pretty good and interesting btw

thanks very much for the kind words!

nothing happened to it, I'm just slow at the best of times and I've been in the worst physical and mental state of my life for awile and increasingly.

anyway heres a preview :)

The Birthday Party

“…Okay,” Majima finally said, following a pause so long that Nishida had begun to physically sweat. “You’re off the hook for now. But don’t let this shit happen again, yeah?”

For a moment Nishida stayed perfectly still, waiting for the other shoe to drop. It didn’t. Majima stared, and then raised an eyebrow.

“Thank you, sir!” Nishida exclaimed, dropping to his hands and knees. “I really appreciate your generosity. Thank you!”

Apparently satisfied, Majima waved an airy gloved hand. “Just keep on your toes. I expect you to come back refreshed and ready to put your nose to the goddamn grindstone after this weekend.”

Nishida gaped, craning his head up. “Uh, sir… I can really still have the weekend off?” He hardly dared to hope; it was surprising enough that Majima was declining to punish him. It didn’t bear imagining that Nishida would get to keep his vacation, too. He ducked his head again, anticipating a screech as Majima revealed it was all a joke. But-

“Yup. You ain’t had a day off in at least a couple months, and you know Kiryu-chan’s gettin’ out of the big house before too long. I gotta have this family in ship-shape. Just don’t forget what I’m doin’ for you,” Majima said, and he smiled a smile that was somehow flat and cold.

“I won’t, sir!” Nishida leapt to his feet, and bowed low anew. “Thank you, sir! I won’t let you down!”

“Alright, that’s enough. You’re dismissed.” Leaning back in his fancy office chair, Majima pulled out a cigarette. Nishida went to light it.

“I said, you’re dismissed!” Majima snapped, pulling the cigarette away.

Rule number six of dealing with Majima: don’t push your luck. Hastily Nishida bowed one last time, and then fled the room, closing the door behind him.

A small crowd of the boys flinched back as Nishida exited. Some of them were holding ice packs and bottles of painkillers, ready to attend to the inevitable consequences of Nishida’s inevitable beating.

Or rather the beating Nishida himself would have assumed was inevitable a few minutes ago.

“Aniki?” one of them asked in surprise. “Are you done?”

“Uh, looks like it,” Nishida said, running a hand over his skull as though to check it were still in one piece. It was, aside from the old bruise and stitches over his eyebrow from last week (he’d almost forgotten about that). He could barely believe it himself.

“Whoa… he didn’t punish you?”

“Nope. He forgave me, and said something about wanting the Family to be in top shape for when K- for when something big happens later this year,” Nishida explained, quickly correcting himself so as not to give away the information about Kiryu. Nishida had no reason to believe Majima would be pissed off if others found out, but Nishida adhered carefully to rule 14: assume information is private unless told otherwise. Though he also tried to stick to rule 10, don’t wait for instructions if there’s a chance you’re supposed to act on your own. Sometimes it was hard to balance the two. Majima was nothing if not mercurial.

This time, though - this time Majima’s unpredictability was working in Nishida’s favor. It was a lovely little change. He’d expected to have to cancel on his mom; but instead, he headed home around 10 p.m. and threw some clothes into a bag. At midnight he caught the taxi he’d arranged in advance.

[nishida arrives in his hometown, goes to his mom's house, his old friend is there. after some dialogue she starts to roast him]

"I really don’t want to pry, but I care about you and I have to ask - you keep getting into accidents, it seems like you’re barely sleeping, you drink and smoke more than you used to. Nishi… are you on drugs?”

“No! Drop it, okay?” Nishida said, an edge of warning in his voice. This was unbelievable. Nishida was known in the Majima Family as a stick-in-the-mud lightweight, and in his hometown he’s suddenly branded as a hard-partying alcoholic? “I’ve told you before that accounting is demanding as hell. Yeah, I don’t get a lot of sleep. But I’ve always been clumsy. Don’t you remember the time we were biking up the hill and-“

“Nakai’s an accountant, and he’s doing just fine. He has weekends off-“

“Nakai does accounting for the local businesses, Kita,” Nishida said. “Tokyo’s a whole different ball game. It’s not really comparable. I promise I’m not on drugs. Okay?”

Kitahara’s mouth made a tight line. “Do you ever think about quitting?” she asked.

“What?”

“Aren’t you rich enough, now? You could get out anytime you wanted. You could retire, for fuck’s sake. Right?”

He toyed with the edge of the counter. “It’s… not that simple.”

“Why not? You have tons of money, right? You could live on it comfortably. Or are you in debt?”

“No. I’m debt free. Kita, stop coming up with conspiracy theories. I have a decent amount of money saved up, yes.”

“Then why keep working? You don’t like your job, so just quit. You could get a part-time thing, even. With a CV like yours, you could get any job you wanted.”

Nishida couldn’t suppress a sharp laugh. He hadn’t had a job that would look good an a CV for a decade. But he didn’t dwell on the irony. “I do like my job,” he insisted. “It’s fast-paced, sure, and it can be terrifying, but it’s exciting. I like my coworkers, I like the challenge, I like the flexibility I get. I’ve climbed pretty far, and I like that, too. The guys I supervise like me, and we work together well. I even like my boss, despite his idiosyncrasies.”

“He’s grinding you down to a pulp.”

She didn’t know how true the statement was. But, “Sure, he’s demanding,” Nishida shrugged. “Lots of bosses are. I wouldn’t trade him if I had the chance.”

The doorbell rang, cutting into Nishida’s speech. “I’ll get it,” he sighed. “Machida-san probably found out about mom’s party.”

“Old bitch,” Kitahara said good-naturedly, moving over to take Nishida’s spot at the counter.

Treading down the hall, Nishida double-checked that his shirt sleeves weren’t rolled up far enough to risk revealing a sliver of tattoo, and then he opened the door. “Hi,” he said. “Are you-“ And he froze.

“Sup,” Majima said. “I heard there was a birthday girl here?”

Nishida’s first instinct, after the cold sweat sweeping over him quieted down into terror, was to slam the door in Majima’s face.

Apparently years-old instincts of respect and obedience didn’t work outside of Kamurocho, because slamming the door in Majima’s face was just what Nishida did.

Majima jammed a steel-capped toe into the gap, preventing the door from closing completely. “How rude,” he said mildly. “I just came to celebrate your mom’s big day. She’s turning 70, right? That’s a big deal. It would be a shame if anything were to spoil the occasion.”

Nishida’s shirt was sticking to him. The summer day, once so pleasant, had become uncomfortably hot and cold at the same time. He wrenched the door open again. Majima smiled politely, as though nothing odd had happened. He was wearing a plain black suit, and he had a gift and flowers in his hands.

“Sir, could we… discuss this outside for a minute?” Nishida whispered weakly, still gripping the side of the door in a death grip. It might have been the only thing preventing him from collapsing to the ground.

“Hm? What’s there to discuss?” Majima asked innocently.

At just that moment, “Son?” Nishida’s mom called from the back hall, poking her head around the corner. “There’s - oh! Who’s this?”

“I’m Suzuki Goro,” Majima said quickly, with a slight bow. “I’m Nishida’s boss. Might you perhaps be the Nishida-san whose birthday I’ve come to celebrate?”

Nishida’s heart dropped into his stomach as his mom’s eyes widened. “Oh my!” she said and came hurrying down the hall. “Suzuki-san, please come in, it’s an honour to finally meet you!” She bowed low, multiple times, and, feeling sick, Nishida backed away from the door to give her space.

“He didn’t tell me you were coming,” Nishida’s mom fussed, puttering around Majima as though he had a coat for her to take. “I’m so sorry not to have given you a better greeting. Please, excuse my son’s rudeness and come join us.” She bowed again.

“Sure thing,” Majima said, smirking at Nishida over his mom’s head. “I do love a good party.”

“Wait,” Nishida said desperately. “Sir, sir, can’t I show you the front garden?”

“I seen it already, I came from the front. Gorgeous work, Nishida-san,” Majima said, winking roguishly at Nishida’s mom. At least, presumably it was a wink.

“Oh, why, thank you!” she exclaimed. “It’s nothing, really. Nothing at all.”

goodnight to everyone expect the ship artists of sagawa and majima i hope both sides of your pillow are warm

“ooh garlic salt isn’t real” yeah well neither is your MARRIAGE after i’m done FUCKING YOUR HUSBAND and afterwards he eats my delicious cooking that i seasoned with GARLIC SALT. FUCK YOU

i think. you sent this to the wrong person. but im enamoured with your energy. you can have my metaphorical husband you deserve her

They’re so stupid(derogatory)

sometimes i think about how Aizen spent 100+ years fucking around with his Hogyoku before finally managing to create a bunch of the strongest "perfect" Arrancar with it, only to find Starrk at the very end who outstripped all the others in terms of raw power and got there naturally all on his own, no Hogyoku required, i feel like Aizen must've coughed up blood 😂

i dreamt that Pokémon ZA came out and there was already a Tumblr post with a screenshot of the game where AZ says "I came to acquire this hotel when the previous owner passed away" but his model just had the same blank eyed smile the trainers usually do in idle and the post zoomed in on his expression and was captioned "did you kill that man, az." and then someone reblogged it captioned "you're looking in the wrong direction" and it was zoomed in on floette with an equally empty smile. implying floette killed that man.

lol get 1 point