The Beer Witch Post

The Beer Witch Post

(or how the stereotypical Wicked Witch is based in part on female brewsters*) 

Some background:

Women have been brewing beer for nearly 10 thousand years! 

That’s right! Beer is traditionally a woman’s drink, in that it was invented, produced, and drunk by women (and children) for all of recorded history. (src)

Beer only recently became associated with men (around the time it was commercialized of course!)  How did this happen?

Like many things, it involved the Church and a Witch Hunt.

The Beer Witch Post

(Note: this post is about a western stereotype; the action takes place in Europe.) Around the 11th cent., the Church realized that brewing alcohol was a great way for monasteries to generate revenue. At the time, brewing was the domain of Germanic tribal woman, and was important bc:

there was a huge demand for ale, due to its cheapness and the lack of potable water in most households

it allowed women to generate their own income at home.

That first part smelled like profit to the Church. That second part meant female independence, which they didn’t like at all. The solution was to get women out of brewing, and monasteries in. What better way than a witch hunt?

Of course, to have a good witch hunt, first you have to invent a witch.

Inventing the Wicked Witch

As female brewsters were pushed out of their fields (being denied licenses and guild membership), the Church set up shop. Monasteries & nunneries were sort of the perfect place to manufacture, what with their land & resources & free labor. Women were still the main brewers in many communities, but this would change over the centuries as the Church waged a War of Defamation against alewives & brewesses. 

The association between woman and sin has always been an easy argument to make, biblically. As women, alewives were ridiculously easy to defame. The rhetoric went something along the lines of:

women created sin

women are sinful

women use beer to spread their sinful ways & take money from men

Alewives, who ran alehouses, were cast as treacherous, deceitful women who cheated men by luring them into playgrounds for the devil, ruled by the sins of gluttony and lust.  

Alewives in hell became a popular Church-spread trope:  

“The Church specifically taught that alewives would be the only people left in hell after Christ freed all the damned.“ (src)

Thus, female brewers became easy target to associate with the devil, and with witchcraft. 

Whether or not brewsters were outright accused of consorting with the devil, the implication was there. And later, so was the imagery.

The Church’s centuries-long smear campaign worked too, helped by the fact that as brewing became more lucrative, more men entered the field, and were happy to help push women out. By the 17th century, the (European) brewing industry was male dominated, for the first time in human history. 

Witchcraft & Brewing: Symbology

The lifestyles, clothing, and tools of real women brewers were taken and used as iconography for witchcraft. 

Many of the props associated with the stereotypical Wicked Witch were just common objects alewives used to denote the brewing trade.

CALUDRONS & CATS: The image of a woman standing over a boiling cauldron once had a very different connotation: ale brewing. Cats, of course, were kept around to protect the grain supply.

BROOMSTICKS: these symbols of domestic trade were used as advertisements. A broom hung outside a home or alehouse was an easy-to-recognize sign that ale was available to buy. (Keep in mind that before literacy was common, most signs would be symbolic, not written.)

image

THOSE BIG, DISTINCTIVE HATS: This was a marketing thing too! Wearing a large hat to stand out in the market crowd was a symbol of a brewster with wares to sell. (src)

image

An Alewife, in her innocent witchy attire. Simple advertising like these allowed women to sell brews that they were already often making for their families at home.

The more you know! A shoutout to all those ladies brewing throughout history, from priestesses to alewives to homemakers alike. For thousands of years, generation after generation of families were fed & watered & kept healthy by women brewing at home. Thank you ladies, for your service.

image

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Double the treat, double the trouble

Australia 2025

Double The Treat, Double The Trouble

warnings: smut, brief use of the cuck chair, Kimi discovers things about himself, blowjobs and face fucking, slight degradation, it's a relatively tame threesome (for me), Am I the first to write for piastonelli? If so it's an honour because they would be hot as fuck together

One of the Boys Masterlist

“I'm assuming it's still a ‘no’ for tonight?” 

You groaned and quickly typed a response to Lando's text. 

“Yup, I'm busy” 

You felt so sorry for Oscar and his ruined home race that you decided you were going to give him some attention. So you sent him a quick text to say you'd meet him in your hotel room that evening. 

On your way out of the paddock however, you bumped into Kimi, who had apparently been looking for you. 

“Can I ask you something?” he slid an arm around your waist and walked with you. 

“Of course Kimi, anything” you smiled at him, already having a feeling of where this was going. 

Ever since your first... encounter with Kimi in his gym, he'd been a bit more touchy with you, more comfortable. 

And you couldn't hide the fact that you'd really enjoyed that day. 

A light blush dusted your cheeks every time you thought back to it, his strong arms pinning you down while your nails scratched down his back. 

He hid his game well. 

“I was wondering if we could… you know. Tonight?” 

You narrowed your eyes at him suspiciously. He wasn't even on the podium.  

“Did George say something?” 

He avoided your eyes. 

“Umm… well he heard from Lando that you weren't seeing him tonight. And he assumed that you would be uhh, rewarding him and Max for the podium and that you would let me join because I am his teammate?” 

His eyes finally met yours and you huffed. George assumed, did he? And Max was probably in on the assuming. 

“If you don't want me to it's fine, I will just have to work hard for a podium next week…” 

You shushed him, taking out your phone.  

“Well actually, you can tell George I won't be seeing either of them tonight. I have other plans” 

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. 

Sure enough, you glanced at your screen and there was a text from George. 

“Can Kimi join us tonight? Xx” 

Fuck that.  

You didn't answer him, instead pulling up your conversation with Oscar. 

You looked at Kimi. His deep brown eyes were looking at you questioningly. 

“You know what, Kimi? You did a very good job today…”  

You leaned in and gave him a peck on the cheek.  

“I think you deserve a reward”  

He grinned. “Yeah?”  

“Yeah” you purred into his ear. “I'll see you tonight, I'll text you the details” 

You squeezed his arm before making your way towards the exit, phone in hand as you sent a text to Oscar. 

“Change of plans, we'll meet in your room, and I'm bringing a guest <3” 

George and Max could show up to your hotel room if they wanted to. 

You wouldn't be there, and teaching them a lesson about entitlement made you almost giddy with excitement. 

“K. 401” was Oscar's reply. Short, sweet, and to the point. 

You met Kimi in the Hilton lobby. 

He followed you into the elevator, looking very confused about why you'd asked him to meeqt you in this hotel, which neither of you were staying in. 

“Where are we going?” he asked when the bell sounded for the right floor. 

“You'll see” 

He seemed a bit nervous, but mostly insanely curious. 

Good. Open mindedness was something you appreciated in your drivers. 

You knocked on the right door, and Oscar opened it with a towel wrapped around his waist and his built up physique on display. 

“Aaah…” he said with a tiny hint of surprise “Kimi” 

Oscar was always an astute observer. 

"I'm guessing you've got a plan?" Oscar lifted an eyebrow, glancing between Kimi and yourself.

You grinned at him. "I do indeed"

You instructed Kimi to take his clothes off, which he was happy to do, and get on the bed.

Oscar was about to follow suit but you stopped him with a hand on his arm.

"Not you. You're going to sit on that chair and watch us."

His brow furrowed in dissatisfaction.

"And if you're good, you'll get a reward."

He seemed to perk up slightly and settled on the cuck chair with his legs crossed and the towel still wrapped around him.

You turned to Kimi, joining him on the bed while he shucked his boxers off.

He was already half hard.

"You ready for your reward?"

He glanced at Oscar with a frown.

“I thought you normally spend the night with winners and podium sitters… not… p4 and p9?” 

“Well Kimi… you'll come to learn that actually, I do whatever the fuck I want” you smiled, getting closer to him " And tonight, that's you and Oscar" you threaded your fingers in his hair to pull him in for a kiss. 

Kimi was a sweet kisser, in more ways than one. He had chapstick on that tasted like berries, and despite the depraved nature of the situation, his kisses were always quite chaste.

You'd noticed it last time, too. It was quite intoxicating in a way.

His hands gripped your hips to steady himself, he was already getting lightheaded with want.

After another minute you separated, breathing heavily as you pressed yourself against him.

"You gonna fuck me, Kimi?"

His eyes darkened and his grin got wider.

He pushed you down onto your back and helped you out of your underwear, immediately going a bit feral at the sight of your uncovered body.

"You are so gorgeous" he murmured, he didn't seem to be aware that he said it out loud

You blushed at the compliment, pulling him down on top of you.

His fingers found the crease of your thigh, travelling inwards, and he smirked when he felt you were already wet.

He nibbled on the skin of your collarbone, lips gliding down your body lazily. He could feel the urge to taste you, and taste you he did, kissing down your stomach before spreading your thighs with his slender hands.

He hooked them over his impressively broad shoulders and smirked at you before diving in.

His tongue felt like magic where it pushed inside you, and the way he gently sucked on your clit while you ground your hips against his face sent you into pure bliss.

Kimi was good. And Oscar was getting very hard at the erotic scene in front of him.

Your back was arched in pleasure, fingers clinging to Kimi's curls while he groaned into your flesh like a man who was tasting heaven.

You came down from your orgasm and let go of Kimi's poor hair in favour of sitting up and pushing the young man onto his back.

You paused, smiling down at him evilly.

"Oscar, come here"

You motioned him over, and you giggled at the confused look on Kimi's face.

His cock was hard and heavy against his toned stomach, and you swore you saw precum beading at the tip already.

You pulled Oscar’s towel off, leaving him also hard, and very naked.

"I think Kimi deserves a reward for his impressive debut performance, don't you?"

The Aussie nodded slowly, gulping when his eyes briefly landed on Kimi's cock.

"Yeah, he does..."

You smiled at the blush creeping up his chest.

"Well I think you should be the one to reward him, it being your home race and all..."

He looked slightly unimpressed with your reasonning, but he certainly wasn't going to say no, and Kimi looked like he'd dies and gone to heaven when Oscar settled between his thighs.

It didn't take long before he was sweating and his head was rolled back at the overwhelming pleasure.

You knew how good Oscar was with his mouth, and you were happy to share that knowledge with Kimi.

They shifted around, Kimi now on his knees, and fucking into Oscar's mouth with fervour.

"Deeper, Oscar. Come on, he deserves it, yeah?"

He had tears clinging to his lashes and his cheeks were red with embarrassment.

The truth is he was enjoying the humiliation a bit too much, and you knew it.

The fact that a rookie had performed so well, and him so terribly at his own home race, made his heart pound with shame as he took Kimi deeper into his throat.

Kimi was barely holding onto his sanity at this point, almost staring in disbelief as his cock slid in and out of Oscar Piastri's mouth.

He'd gotten p4 at Oscar's home race, outscoring him, and now he was fucking his throat. It was surreal.

Your mouth was on Kimi's neck, gently sucking marks into it like you knew drove him wild.

"You did so good Kimi. So good today, you deserve a treat, hmm?."

You patted Oscar's cheek and smirked at him when he looked up at you.

"And this useless slut is going to swallow everything you give him, isn't that right pretty boy?"

Oscar shivered, moaning around the cock in his mouth.

"Fucking hell..." the younger man was breathing hard "I'm so close"

You knew exactly how to make him lose it. You learned last time that Kimi liked being bitten, and that information had not left your mind since.

"Then come. Make him take it all" you were mouthing at his right nipple, and he didn't even suspect your next move, his thighs already trembling with his impending orgasm.

You bit down, quite hard.

He let out a yelp before his hands tightened in Oscar's hair, pulling the older man onto his cock while he came down his throat.

Oscar swallowed it all, of course.

He always wanted to be good for you.

He coughed when he was finally released, heaving in breaths as Kimi collapsed backwards onto the mattress.

You leaned down to Oscar's level, and whispered into his ear.

"You were so good for me Osc. You deserve a reward too, by the way."

He lifted an eyebrow at you, and you winked.

"Kimi, have you ever been fucked?"

The younger man's jaw dropped, and he squirmed under your questioning gaze.

"No..."

You hummed and crawled towards him.

"Have you ever had anything inside you?"

The blush on his chest deepened and crept up his neck as he admitted that yes, yes he had.

His own fingers.

You and Oscar both had to take a second to recompose yourselves after that admission.

One day you were going to make him give you a show, you promised yourself silently.

And, well, long story short, Oscar was going to have the pleasure of being his first.

And Kimi was eager. Very eager.

Once he was prepped and wet, he flipped onto his hands and knees and arched his back expectantly.

Oscar chuckled at his adorable excitement.

"Not so fast boys" you piped up " Kimi you are going to fuck me while he fucks you..."

Both heads snapped towards you in surprise.

Kimi helped you slide into position underneath him, and he didn't waste time sliding into you to the hilt.

"Oh fuck..." you breathed, getting used to the stretch while he draped his body over you.

He nipped and sucked at your neck to distract you, and pretty soon you were relaxed in his arms and he could roll his hips languidly.

"Okay, Oscar..." your voice shook as Kimi's cock nudged your sweet spot. "Whenever you're ready"

His hands soothed over Kimi's hips, halting the boy's movements as he lined himself up, and slowly pushed inside.

The change in Kimi's demeanor was immediate. His jaw went slack and his eyes glazed over, he looked completely fucked out within seconds.

On the first thrust, his head dropped to the crook of your neck and he let out a low moan into your skin.

Oscar smirked at you over Kimi's shoulder and gave another, harder thrust.

A loud whimper eminated from the boy in your arms and you and Oscar both had to bite your lips to stop from giggling at Kimi's... state.

The third, and much harder thrust, wiped the smile right off your face however, because the force of it pushed Kimi's hips against yours, and that made you and Kimi moan out in tandem.

Over the next four and a half minutes (that's how long it took until Kimi was wailing into your skin as he came inside you) Oscar had a lot of fun playing with you and Kimi.

He varied the pace and roughness of his thrusts until you were both whiny messes under him.

As rewards go, this certainly was a good one.

He had the two of you at his mercy, alternating between watching your eyes roll back and being entranced by the way his cock was stretching Kimi out, for the first time.

The younger man trembled above you, riding out the aftershocks of his orgasm while Oscar chased his own, which was embarrassingly not far behind.

And because they were such gentlemen, they both agreed they should drive you to the brink of madness with their mouths all over your body, as a thank you.

They took turns eating Kimi's cum out of you, and you lost count of how many times they made you come.

Kimi left a few marks across your body, his sharp canines being his weapon of choice against your skin, while Oscar hooked his fingers against your sweet spot to make you moan wantonly into the stale air.

They both took pleasure in unraveling you over and over again, not satisfied until they'd wrung every last bit of pleasure they could out of you.

It was very late before you all curled up, not having the energy for a shower, and you quickly checked your phone.

You had several missed calls, and a few messages.

"Where the hell are you? Me and Max are outside your hotel" from George

"Oscar told me you were going to his, can I join? ;) ;)" from Lando

"Me and George waited an hour. If either of us win next week, we are going to fucking ruin you" from Max

You couldn't wait for China.


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I Know It’s Not Hard To Point Out Reactionaries Hypocrisy When It Comes To Like Safe Spaces Or Hug

I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

normal halloween fantasy world w/ vampires & monsters & all that good jazz but the skeletons are just normal people who happen to be deceased but stuck around

like ghosts get the option to stay w/ their corpses instead of passing on so now everyone’s family is made up of like 3 living generations and your great-aunt Bernadine

imogen is a nonbinary she/they asexual panromantic, and bonds with isaac and the rest of the girls in season two. thats it thats the post


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yoo look at that art

The Syndicate - Reporting Members
The Syndicate - Reporting Members
The Syndicate - Reporting Members
The Syndicate - Reporting Members
The Syndicate - Reporting Members

the syndicate - reporting members

what energy drinks correspond to

redbull: probably straight

monster: gay gay gay homosexual not straight some flavor of non cishet as straight as a rainbow


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fun fact about me, the one and only time i tried to diet i drank a lot of water with lemon juice & cayenne pepper in it (bc of some dumb article i read online) and i came to enjoy the tangy pain so now even though I no longer diet my water bottles are still laced with generous amounts of cayenne pepper and every time someone new asks me if i have any water i am immediately jettisoned into the primal moral struggle of whether to explain to them my situation or just let them drink the spicy water

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monster-addict-in-the-making - pronouns? no thank you
pronouns? no thank you

fuck off lemme be gay | chaotic evil lmao

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