True. I'm Not Against Venting At All, And I Don't Think There Should Be A Compromising Of Principles,

Can reddit user "lesbianwithabeard" leave bisexuals out of their homophobic fetish?

Those fucks were the ones that pushed back any idea of bisexual confidence by screeching that bisexuality as a sexuality was automatically transphobic. They always latch on to actually oppressed groups to try and force others to feel sorry for them - and then immediately attack them afterwards for not grovelling enough at their feet.

No one owes anyone else dates or sex at any point ever. To claim otherwise is to be pro-rape. That's it.

Lesbians are more trans accepting than gay males yet I don't see tifs complain about "transphobic preferences" as much as tims do. I suspect it's because lesbians are more pressurized to be accepting than gay males are, and you know why.

i loved an Angel, but it made me weak.

Feminism is in trouble. Underneath a veneer of supporting women, there's too much navel-gazing over which women deserve to be protected and which women deserve to be blamed and hated.

Misogyny is the oldest form of bigotry. It is the original form of oppression. Cultures from around the world, across time, decided that women were inferior so that men could control, rape and abuse, all in isolation.

Intersectionality is important for feminism, because misogyny is so entrenched into all sorts of different societies that it also is entrenched into every other form of bigotry, too. Every woman that happens to be part of a different oppressed group too has specific extra examples of specific misogyny that she faces because of that intersection.

That begs the question: can misogyny even be erased before every other kind of bigotry and hatred is erased? Or can no other form of bigotry be erased until misogyny is defeated?

It's interesting just how intersectionality has both the power to bring all women together of all different female lived experiences - but also the power to ensure that there can never be any form of class consciousness for women at all.

How can there be class consciousness and solidarity for all women when there are both white women that gloss over black women's lived experiences at one end, and then lesbians who victim-blame straight women for the abuse they receive at the hands of male romantic partners on the other?

Actual feminism is incredibly hard. Actual feminism means supporting and advocating for all women, not just women you like. It means offering a hand to women who have previously spat at you, or hated and abused you. Women who have been misogynistic or who promoted misogyny. Women that you otherwise (even rightly) hate. It means women who are oppressed in other ways, too, standing shoulder to shoulder with women who are part of oppressor classes because we're all women.

Especially in online spaces, it seems like the bar to be a feminist is to hate men, maybe prioritise and care for some groups of women (aside from using all women as statistics to justify hating men to focus on men again), and, if lucky, possibly a few scan-reads of some foundational texts, and then that's good enough to become a sudden shield to use so that it becomes safe again to make up some new misogynistic slurs. So that it's acceptable to understand that female socialisation is the cause for some anti-feminist behaviours, but it's all those evil women's faults and their free choices to attack and hate others depending on the narrative.

It's obvious that in online spaces, so many that describe themselves as "feminist" come from TRA spaces, because they have hierarchies of women in mind, fuck you, [identity label] woman, stupid fucking handmaiden, you get what you fucking deserve. It's just a remapping of prioritising men to prioritising certain women, like feminism is a new religion instead of a difficult movement with difficult and uncomfortable inner work, even before that has to translate to offering actual solidarity to all women that isn't just lip service.

If you call yourself a feminst, be honest with yourself: are you actually a feminist, or do you just like how the title sounds?

We should always talk more about the emotional manipulation and gaslighting that comes from being women under the patriarchy. Violence and threats only go so far to oppress women. The rest of the trap is the way that patriarchy has managed to trick women into keeping ourselves down, without us ever noticing it.

Take this paragraph:

Like Buffy, do we feminist women turn to mediocre men who can express messiness so that we don’t have to? Does it make us feel stronger, more powerful, or more competent by comparison—but also keep us measuring our worth in relation to others rather than to ourselves? The strong woman/bad boyfriend phenomenon reminds me of how I felt when I first began interacting with transgendered (male-to-female) women at book signings. The women whom Amy Richards and I met during the Manifesta tour often came with a critique that the book had no discussion of transgender rights. I felt terrifically defensive—obsessed with the way the M-to-F pre-op women would dominate the evening, often with just their physical bigness. I hated the way they invaded a woman-only space, seeming to merely endure our reading so they could get to “their” part of the evening. “They wouldn’t—couldn’t—do that if they had been born women,” I seethed. “You don’t see female-to-male pre-operative men heading to the Harvard Club to demand inclusion. Why is it always women who have to make more space and take in everything?” But as I learned more about the history of transgenderism and met more transgendered people—M to F and F to M and points beyond—I revised that interpretation. I wonder now if it offended me that these women could be aggressive and take up space while I still thought I couldn’t. - From Look Both Ways: Bisexual Politics by Jennifer Baumgardner

From a question about mediocre men that immediately brought TIMs to mind, this feminist woman automatically felt righteously repulsed at men forcing their way into a female-only space, who clearly didn't care about female issues, and only endured discussions of women's issues and thoughts so that they could bleat about themselves instead.

Instead of her accepting what she knew, the fact that TIMs act like men because they're men, and TIFs act like women because they're women, she flipped a switch, threw in that she met a range of trans "and points beyond" people, and suddenly, TIMs taking over women's spaces and demanding that everything be about themselves became her own moral failing.

Again, this last line:

I wonder now if it offended me that these women could be aggressive and take up space while I still thought I couldn’t.

Critiques of her understanding of feminism aside, from the above text, she knew what men are like, and she was right to seethe. And yet, patriarchy is so strong that women will tie themselves in knots to be seen as acceptable to others, because of the teaching that men always matter more.

In her case - and in quite a lot of other cases, from women who won't really even think about feminism across whatever spectrums there are, I would wager - there will be this underlying idea that these men that claim womanhood are simply somehow better women than they are, and that is why those men deserve support and love and kindness over everything else.

Because those men are the kind of women that actual women are telling themselves that they should aspire to be. That actual women are failures, and the fakes are somehow the real deal.

Those women can tell themselves that it's about being unapologetic and loud and forceful about their individual needs - but it's another manipulative trap. Women can never become like those brave TIMs. As soon as they try, they're called TERFs, remember?

Look at the number of women who spend so much time defending TIMs, whether they're trans identified or not. Of course they do. They've been taught that the best of women, the most vulnerable of women? Those better "women" are all male.

Why do I say all this in regards to the trans issue? Because we're living in a time where numbers of women have genuinely been gaslit into believing that men can be women, in such a relatively short space of time. That men somehow can become biologically female through saying a few words out loud.

If that doesn't tell you how effective the psychological abuse of women is under the patriarchy, I don't know what else will.

We had icebreaker questions about who our personal heroes are and if I wouldn’t get kicked out and blacklisted from the career for saying it I would have said JKR.

Even if we ignore all the trans stuff - a woman who escaped an abusive relationship with a baby who then went on to write the most successful children’s fantasy series of all time, to the point where she became a billionaire but then lost that status because of her charitable contributions and actually paying UK taxes instead of tax evasion like most other rich people.

She then wrote (an incredibly successful in its own right) adult detective series under a pseudonym, set up several of her own charities for women and children like Volant Charitable Trust, Lumos and Beira’s Place and supported more, including rescuing hundreds of Afghans from the Taliban.

She’s anti- Netanyahu but in like a normal way, not supporting cultural boycott of Israel or anything that would hurt regular Israelis.

All of this makes her incredibly achieved and successful, and yet she still has morals and principles and hasn’t turned into a monster like many rich people do. She’s an incredible role model and hero.

Prunus persica

The greatest trick of the patriarchy was to teach countless generations of women to be kind.

We can talk about statistics all day long, but the weaponisation of our compassion is what keeps us on our knees.

When we see studies about violence, the immediate reaction is but men can be victims, too, and examples like that are why the false ideas of the patriarchy hurts men, too and feminism is for everybody are so prevalent. Women have been so broken down by generations upon generations of manipulation through be kind that is feels wrong, that it feels psychologically painful to centre ourselves.

Instead of women being able to come together and fight for our rights as one, this malicious forced compassion makes us sideline and silence ourselves, with the reward being tricked into feeling like I'm a good and selfless person. When women dare to centre ourselves and put ourselves first reasonably, then we're gaslit into believing that we're being selfish, cruel and even violent, and when other women snap and snarl, tired of our treatment, then they're entirely dismissed as being any modern version of hysteric.

Men like to hide behind the idea that we're the manipulative ones that psychologically damage, but without a thousand generations of men reinforcing that we should think again and actually have kindness and compassion for others, women as a whole would be able to see through the blinders of oppression.

After all, to be anti-prostitution has been reframed as hating sex workers.

Fighting against systemic violence and rape against women is ignoring male victims and supporting female perpetrators.

Protecting female-only spaces is excluding a vulnerable minority's right to exist.

Few ordinary women want to be made to feel like they're hateful or cruel. As soon as we talk about women's issues, examples of individual men are brought up, and women are tricked into talking about them by either proving how kind we are ("of course I don't want anyone to be raped, male victims deserve help!") to distract us from our issues and re-centre men again, or women dismiss that obviously malicious call for compassion ("feminism isn't about men, sort your own issues out!") and then men use it as a reason as to why feminism is evil, because anything without kindness and compassion is wrong.

Women need to be taught that it's not unkind to put ourselves first, and that men use our compassion against us.

In feminism, our kindness and compassion must be reserved for our fellow women.

Women can be kind and compassionate to men in their private lives if they want, but that isn't part of feminism - and they need to be reminded that they won't get that kindness and compassion returned.

The Issue With "True Trans" ♀️♂️

For anyone who doesn't know, "true trans" are conservative-leaning trans-identified folks. They typically claim to know they are not "really" the opposite sex. They are more likely to say they have a mental disorder. They are more likely to call themselves transsexuals. They are more likely to say it's okay they take hormones and got surgery but criticize other trans-identified people for doing so. They do not endorse males in women's spaces. And conservatives typically lap it up. There are many issues with these people, and they are no friend to women and girls.

First, they still uphold misogynistic gender norms. A great example of this is Blaire White, conservatives' favorite trans-identified male. One look at him tells you everything you need to know. The balloon lips, the big fake boobs shown off in every outfit, the valley girl speak, the super long hair that he can't stop flipping while he talks. How is this different from Dylan Mulvaney cosplaying every straight male fantasy of what a woman should look and be like?

Second, similar to conservatives, they do nothing to help women when it comes to other topics that tend to affect women even more than trans activism. In fact, many of them identify as conservative. These include people like Marcus Dib, Blaire White, Caitlyn Jenner, and Jessica Gill. Others, such as Buck Angel, who calls herself "Daddy" and "Tranpa", btw (sorry if you're eating while reading this), claims to be a liberal and simply doesn't advocate for women when it comes to anything else other than being against the more extreme trans ideologists. Rarely if never will you hear these people speak out for reproductive rights or against female poverty, for example. Horrifyingly, Buck Angel worked in porn, on Pornhub, no less, for several years, making herself a fortune, and even when pushed, doubles down and refuses to call out the evils of the sex industry or to admit that porn is misogynistic. In fact, several years ago it came out that a 14-year-old girl named Rose Kalemba had been raped and the video put on YouTube. It took months of her begging Pornhub and then pretending to be an attorney for them to take it down, and in a now-deleted tweet (which survives online), Buck calls her a coward.

Third, they are ingratiating. They want only to be accepted into the conservative fold. They love their place in the limelight as conservative darlings. Again, these are typically conservatives' pet trans-identified folks. Often, conservatives are willing to call them by their preferred pronouns, a consideration not offered to other more liberal/Left-Wing trans-identified people. They uphold misogyny when it's the kind conservatives like. They uphold capitalism. They tend to love Donald Trump.

Please don't let these sheep in wolf's clothing fool you.