Goodbye To Yesterday 🔆

(x)

I bet Jar Jar is fucking hung like a whale. God he can raw me anyday.

I spent like two? Three? Entire weeks with this sitting in my askbox and I just. I got nothing. What could I possibly answer? I tried all the “nope” gifs in this god forsaken website, I tried to draw what my face looks like every time I read this, I tried to find fanart of jar jar with his wang out and the universe was kind enough to me so that I couldn’t find any. I got nothing. Nada. Abso-fucking-lutely nothing. What am I gonna say? What in god’s name am I gonna say to that?!

You see, I wanna fuck general grievous. I do. I want him use all his four arms to simultaneously pull both my arms back and touch my tits as he fucks me with his mecha-schlong. I do. I wanna fuck darth Maul, pre-legs cut off or post metal legs+metal dick enhancement. I wanna lick those horns. Okay? I wanna fuck darth vader. Boy, oh, boy, I do. I wanna hear that hard breathing and wrap my legs over that dramatic cape while he force-chokes me and we do the do. Am I a weird robot-fucker? You bet your ass I am! Am I a tad too much on the horny side? Probably. Did I extrapolate my right to be horny on main? Fucking sue me. But this. THIS.

How do you want me to face my family and all the three (3) friends I have irl? How do you want me to walk into an elevator with a bunch of strangers and when an old lady says “the weather has been a little hot lately, isn’t it weird?” just to do small talk like every fucking old people I don’t know do, how do you expect me not to answer her with “y’know what’s weirder, someone at this very moment is thinking about Jar Jar Binks going balls-deep in them and I cannot talk about this to anyone and the knowledge of this? it’s eating me alive. ALIVE, ma’am, and I don’t mean this as some sick vore reference. Someone’s dreaming of those popped-up eyes, of that weird high-pitched voice screaming MEESA COMING while they’re filled up by Jar Jar Bink’s thick seed, and I’m just standing here while this very notion rots me to the core, taking all life away from me. It’s a nightmare. My entire life, a nightmare, because of an anon message from a horny jar jar fucker on tumblr. This is my floor now, ma’am, have a good day”

I leave the elevator. I probably have an appointment, but I can’t remember where, or what for. I sit down on the floor by the elevator doors. I sob for a full minute. I take the elevator back downstairs, I walk home, I collapse in bed and rub one out thinking of darth vader. I feel better.

Five minutes later, I think about this ask again, and my whole world collapses again. It’s only Tuesday. I sigh heavily and sit down to write this reply.-

Edit: a lot of this is exaggeration. Some of it is true. You get to pick what exactly.

honestly even though i am straight i think being the uke is the more appealing choice because i can already relate to the sensitivity & fragile beauty aspects Plus, if i am on the bottom for a more larger & macho kind of guy while still being heterosexual myself, it makes me seem like a tortured & mentally disintegrating wretch to any potentially onlooking women. then, if i am lucky, they will be overcome with a sudden & disorientingly intense desire for me as my pitiful appearance & circumstances start to trigger two of the most dangerous female instincts at once: Maternal nurture, & the innate feminine erotic interest in suffering & abuse...

anyways, personally i think being on the bottom you are less gay for all of the above reasons & sheer ability to attract many women, than if u are on the top , who is probably at least bisexual. I dont care thoufh because i'm not homophobic & tbh being the bottom feels kind of good in a weird way, like the thrill of the hunt as my plans go into motion, so honestly this is just like the win win scenario. and everyone is satisfied, which is beautiful.

By the way, if you read all this, and still don't work this scenario into your technique, you are actually stupid. ⚠️

hey. don’t cry. crush four cloves of garlic into a pot with a dollop of olive oil and stir until golden then add one can of crushed tomatoes a bit of balsamic vinegar half a tablespoon of brown sugar and stir for a few minutes adding a handful of fresh spinach until wilted and mix in half a cup of grated parmesan cheese and pasta of your choice ok?

nothing this is purely from my Scientific observances nothing to do with me whatsosoeverr

i think being gay is like, what if you were kinda slimy and your body ran on thc instead of blood

i'm the normalest guy on the planet btw. #normalboy #normalcore #boynormal #normalguythings

“7-30” by Yizheng Ke

:)

Fairytale Princess (1896) | The Princess and a Butterfly Underneath a Fly Agaric (1895-1896)

— by Torsten Wasastjerna