pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader
summary: hyunjin lets you do his nails
genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, i know nothing about doing nails btw, crack at the end
a/n: hyunjin, just one chance, let me do your nails PLEASEEE
"Hyunjin, stay still-"
"I'm trying..."
You sigh and readjust yourself on the floorboards, trying not to jolt Hyunjin's slender, pretty hand, which is currently covered in several tiny smears of nail polish around his cuticles. He's whining as you tell him to stay still, and you fight a smile at the lilting, childlike tone in his voice.
Lifting the brush applicator, you carefully paint three, neat, dark strokes down his middle finger nail, working until you reach his pinky finger. Guiding his hand to the mini UV light you gifted for his birthday, you move to his other hand, before recapping the little glass bottle.
"What do you want drawn on them?"
Hyunjin smiles softly, his previous tantrum simmering down. "Anything you want. But it has to look super cool. I want Stay to see it."
You grin and get up, moving to the vanity, where you pull out a small case and return to Hyunjin's side. He's busy curing his other hand now, and he watches intently with a small smirk as you open the case. You pull out a tiny nail art brush, a bottle of silver chrome polish, and several metallic eyeshadows. You set them down in an orderly line and Hyunjin immediately moves to cheekily mess it up, rearranging the bottles and eyeshadows, the disorder now matching the rest of the room and the floor around you both.
There's a mess of different nail polish shades and tools scattering the floorboards, and you and Hyunjin half-lie down in the mess, limbs awkwardly positioned to avoid knocking anything over.
You carefully pull out his hand from the UV curer light and inspect each nail, gingerly tapping each one to check if the polish is dried. His nails are now a deep, solid black, the surface smooth and unmarred, and you smile in satisfaction at the neatness. His other hand's nails are just as perfect.
Picking up the chrome polish and thin brush, you detail tiny, Y2K style waves and lines over every second nail, leaving his thumbs. Hyunjin watches with an amused smile on his face as you meticulously refine each stroke with the tool, hand close to shaking with how focused you are. The room is quiet and silent, save for Hyunjin's slight shuffling as he waits for you to finish. You move to his other hand while he cures the first.
While he waits for his second hand to dry, you pick up one of your unused makeup brushes and brush a silvery eyeshadow from the top of each nail, creating an ombre effect on every other nail. You do a little for his thumb, leaving majority of the dark nail for the design you have in mind.
Brushing away the excess, you move to his other hand, and Hyunjin lets out a little 'ooh', apparently pleased with the style.
Smiling once more, you pick up the chrome and draw a tiny, silvery star on his thumbnails, writing 'STAY' in tiny, bold letters underneath. You detail the letters 'SKZ' on his middle fingers, curing them quickly before letting him inspect his digits. He kisses your forehead and tells you he loves them.
Later, both of you head to the JYP building, with Hyunjin saying that he needed to rerecord some of his lines for a song. As soon as he skips into the recording studio, he's excitedly shoving his nails into everyone's faces, wanting his members to see his new set, designed and created by you. Han lets out an enraged shriek, questioning why you're not on the stylist team, and you flush at the praise. Chan nods approvingly (though you suspect it's only because of the black element) and Felix and Changbin crowd around Hyunjin, fighting to see the chrome detailing, the smooth black polish, and the silvery stars and lettering that spell out 'SKZ' and 'STAY'.
You catch Minho's eyes, his eyebrows raised, and you grin just as you hold up your hands, where your nails are decorated the exact same.
a/n: every day i try to be loyal to chan and every day i fail (i'm sorry channie i still love you)
YALL IM SO FUCKING BACK
pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader (y/n)
warnings: lonely reader, school!au, hyunjin is a basketballer, hinting to depression, anxiety, and isolation, some girls are mean to y/n
a/n: starting a new series. hopefully this goes well :/
series masterlist | skz masterlist
One.
Two.
Three.
Y/n carefully stepped over the cracks in the pavement, feet twisting and turning between each crack in the cement with a precise, unbroken focus. The air was cool, charged; it had been raining earlier, and the earth was covered in a light, sprinkled-wet sheen, the smell of petrichor hanging in the air.
Y/n kicked up leaves as she went, dodging the little puddles and breathing in the scent of the trees. It made her feel at least a little bit more alive; a lot more alive than she'd been feeling for a long time.
Y/n slowed to a walk, her momentary happiness fading. Viciously kicking aside a wet leaf into a murky puddle, she walked onwards, trudging a little slower than she had before. Her face set itself in a neutral, unremarkable expression.
She narrowly dodged a group of teen boys loitering outside the school gates, their ties and shirts untucked and undone; Y/n huffed ruefully as a rather disciplinary teacher stormed past her, scattering the boys and handing out detentions for uniform misconduct. Her shoulders relaxed a tiny bit; she never wore her uniform wrong, but the fear of being somehow caught out always shook her.
Stepping into the school and wiping her shoes rather unenthusiastically on the large mat, Y/n headed to her locker, weaving past huddles of girls and students running down the hallways. The corridors were rife with laughing and shouting, and Y/n found herself wondering how such energy could be mustered at the raw hour of a nine o'clock Monday morning.
Narrowly dodging a flying basketball without so much as blinking, Y/n opened her locker, mechanically depositing her books into the rack and taking her books for the first few classes of the morning. Every action felt forced and mundane, her muscles aching for no particular reason. A pretty, feminine voice snapped her out of her thoughts.
"Y/n, hey!"
Y/n turned, shutting her locker, slipping the lock back on. She looked up as her friend, Yeji, waved from a short distance away, her sleek, dark hair impeccably styled. As always.
Leaning on her shoulder, Yeji grinned, poking Y/n's cheek just as Ha-eun walked up, clutching a book to her chest with the poise of a ballerina.
"How was your weekend~?" Yeji drawled playfully, sagging onto Y/n. She caught a whiff of her friend's perfume; fruity and light. Yeji had always insisted it was the best scent, especially for 'attracting guys', but Y/n didn't have the heart to tell her she smelt more like a vape.
"It was good," she said monotonely.
Ha-eun tilted her head, brown hair plaited back neatly into a ponytail. Her voice was soft.
"Surely you must have done something, Y/n."
"Yeah," Yeji added.
Y/n shook her head, stepping out from Yeji's leaning. She turned to face both her friends, straightening her dark blazer.
A burst of excited chattering rose from behind them, and Yeji and Ha-eun immediately turned their heads, smiles lighting up on their face.
Sangmi.
The most popular girl in the grade; pretty, smart, helpful, a teacher's dream student. Pretty much everyone knew her.
They all love her too, Y/n thought guiltily. She quite liked Sangmi; she was kind, and a lot of fun to be around, but Y/n couldn't help the howling envy within her heart.
She was just so normal.
Sangmi joined the group, chattering excitedly and sharing her weekend adventures she'd shared with her mom; going to a cafe together, and then later getting their nails done; she'd gone out with a group of girls and studied with them the following day.
Y/n couldn't help the bubble of jealousy that rose up within her and she muttered a halfhearted excuse to Ha-eun before walking away.
Turning a corner, she ran directly into someone, who dropped their books. Apologising, she bent down and began picking them up. Brushing off the cover of a textbook, she looked up at the person.
The boy blinked back at her, slitted, dark eyes, long hair falling into his eyes, a pretty shade of dark brown. He was kind of cute, and Y/n knew who he was, though she couldn't put a name to the face.
"Sorry," she said quietly.
The boy shook his head vehemently, smiling as he took the textbook from her. His voice was velvety.
"My bad. Should have seen where I was going."
Y/n nodded politely and moved past him, walking a little faster to her form class.
Tap tap tap tap tap-
Y/n's pencil drummed against her knuckles; staring out the window, she sighed tiredly and glanced down at her notes. The teacher had been going on for about half an hour now with no sign of stopping.
Her mind absentmindedly drifted back to the boy she'd bumped into earlier, recalling his features. He seemed quite happy, and bright. She'd seen him playing basketball a few times on the courts, always smiling and high-fiving his teammates. She was pretty sure he was on the school team too. Dully wishing she could come across as enthusiastic as he did, Y/n sighed again.
"Alright, everyone," her teacher called. "Get into groups of four, and start working through the questions in chapter three."
Y/n looked to Yeji expectantly just as her friend glanced back at her apologetically, already settling into a group with Sangmi, Ha-eun, and Aeri, another girl from their friend group. A mild feeling of hurt settled into Y/n's gut, replaced by a feeling of panic.
Glancing across the classroom, she stiffly got up and sat with a pair of girls. The popular type, too; their hair was dyed harshly, their lash extensions fluttering, and jaws smacking with gum. Y/n coiled back a tiny bit, the irritating sound ticking her off.
One of the blonde girls whined. "Can't you group with someone else?"
The other nodded dumbly, her mismatched, caked-on foundation crinkling as she frowned at Y/n.
"Um, I can't. Sorry," she finished quietly. "There's no one else to group with."
The two girls glanced at each other. Y/n heard a whisper of 'outcast' and fought the nausea rising in her gut.
Someone sat down next to her, stretching out forearms across the desk. Y/n blinked in surprise. It was the boy she'd run into earlier.
"Don't be mean," he quipped playfully at them. "She can work with us."
"Sorry, Hyunjin," one of the girls pouted. Y/n fought the new urge to throw up at their fake cuteness act.
It came as no surprise; Hwang Hyunjin was one of the most popular boys in the school. Young, handsome, talented, popular; he was the envy of many of the boys in the grade. Most of the girls liked him too, even popular, pretty Sangmi quietly admitting to her once that she thought Hyunjin was kind of cute.
Not that Y/n wholeheartedly disagreed. But she didn't agree that much either. Popular, sporty boys were always trouble.
The trouble spoke. "Y/n, can I borrow a pen, please? I kinda forgot my stuff."
Y/n blinked at him, expression betraying a hint of disapproval. "Do you just show up to classes with no stuff?"
Hyunjin chuckled, unfazed. "Yep."
Sighing, Y/n reached into the pocket of her blazer and drew out a ballpoint, handing it to him. The two blonde girls gazed on disapprovingly, glaring jealously at Y/n, who ignored it.
Hyunjin just smiled to himself and began dividing up the classwork.
The bell went off with a abrasive, repetitive ringing. The students began packing up noisily, chattering and laughing, some with their stuff already eagerly packed and ready to go.
Y/n handed her portion of the group project to her teacher, thanking him quietly before moving back to her desk and slipping her pens back into her case. The two blonde girls whispered and side-eyed her as they passed, one of them bumping her shoulder roughly as they left.
The lesson had gone smoothly enough, except for the fact that most of the class's eyes had been on her.
Mainly because of Hyunjin.
He kept asking for help, asking how to spell words, asking how to explain this and that on the worksheet, and when Y/n had rather grumpily quipped him for his inquiries, he had responded with a cheeky smile and an honest answer.
Because you're really smart, Y/n!
I'm not really, she thought to herself self-deprecatingly. Sangmi and Ha-eun are far smarter than I am.
"Hey, Y/n."
Y/n looked up, slipping her case inside her bag. Hyunjin stood in front of her, his tie slightly undone, eyes crinkled with that smile that somehow permanently graced his angelic features.
She responded so quietly she was sure he wouldn't hear. "Yeah?"
Hyunjin tilted his head. "Is it okay if I keep this pen for my next few classes? I'll give it back, I promise."
Y/n's gaze flitted to his long, slender hand, the ballpoint held elegantly between them. She narrowed her eyes, sighing.
"Fine, but don't lose it."
Hyunjin nodded eagerly before turning away with a quick smile.
"Kay. I won't. See you later!"
Y/n let out a tiny 'bye' in response, hauling her bag onto her shoulder.
Hyunjin walked casually down the hallway, effortlessly slipping between throngs of students with ease. His hands were shoved in his pockets, Y/n's pen clutched between his slender figures as he moved to enter his next class. He was surprised she'd let him borrow it; most people thought she was quite intense and cold, some thought her rather mean. Hyunjin thought she was probably just lonely.
Something like that, he thought. A hint of empathy twinged at his heartstrings. Nevertheless, he was quite pleased with himself; the lie about 'forgetting all of his stuff' had somehow unbelievably fooled her.
One slender hand came down, tucking his pencil case deeper into his bag.
He couldn't believe the lie had worked.
taglist (open) : @kozumesphone
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pairing: lee minho x reader
summary: you and lee minho, the smartest student on campus, get unexpectedly paired up to work on an assignment
genre: less angsty, mutual pining, college!au, happy ending hehe
a/n: yayy part 2. dividers by @kodaswrld
⛓️ prompts: 17. "Why are you looking at me like that?" / 28. "You're looking at me like that again."
skz prompt list | skz masterlist | part 1
The next few days are rather awkward.
You avoid Minho as much as humanly possible; more than once he tries to approach you in the corridors, though unsurely, and you find yourself ducking into the next hallway or stopping to talk to someone so that he won't.
Not that you don't want him to approach. Part of you misses talking to him, though most of what came out of his mouth was teasing remarks and judgmental comments. But he does it in a way that lets you know he doesn't mean it.
You know he doesn't mean it, but after you messed up those few days ago, you're beginning to wonder if he might in the future.
You find yourself glancing his way during lectures, subconsciously reaching for your phone to text him before you take control of yourself and tear your gaze away, shove your phone into a drawer. Keeping distance is the best thing to do right now, even if you do miss him.
But still...
Minho and his pretty necklace, his pretty lopsided smile, although it's rare. But it makes it all the more special. It makes him all the more special.
The part of you yearning to see him wonders if there's a slim chance that he reciprocates what you've begun to find yourself feeling, and it tells you to go and find Minho, talk to him, work things out. Maybe you could play it off, say you were on something, plead that you were tired or that there had just been something on his face.
Which is why you had touched it in the first place, though it was on a whim. You'd stroked those precious few strands out of his eyes, touched his pretty mouth on a whim, your fingers brushing against the perfect mask that Lee Minho never lets slip.
The professor calls your name suddenly and you shoot upright, having previously been slouching on your hand, staring down the rows of lecture seats. He shouts out a question and panic seizes your gut like a vice.
"Y/n, what's the answer to question eight?"
Your eyes flit over the screen at the front; you haven't been listening and none of it makes sense. Your mouth opens but nothing comes out, and you feel the gazes of other people becoming more prominent by the minute.
Your gaze catches Minho's by chance; he's sitting at the very front of the lecture hall as per usual, all of his materials lined up meticulously neat on the desks. He mouths an answer to you, subtly holding up three fingers.
"Option three," you blurt out. It must be the right answer because the professor turns away, moving onto the next question. You sag back into your seat with relief.
Minho is still looking at you.
You steal a glance at him again, hoping that he's not looking, but he is. You make to look away in haste but not before you see him point to his notebook, gesturing to you and then back at his book.
Staring down at your own folders and papers, you take your black notebook from under the haphazard mess and flip through it. Minho turns back to the front just as a slip of paper falls from between the pages.
You unfold it. Minho's neat, looping handwriting inks the paper in blue.
Meet me at the library at five o clock.
Absolutely not, you think. You toss the paper onto your desk and lean back. There's no way you're going. You might just come up with an excuse and relay it to someone so you don't have to show up. You look back down at Minho's note. It's fallen the other way and there's writing on the other side. You peer closer.
And don't even think about disappearing or making up an excuse. Come on, Y/n. You're not that busy a person.
You roll your eyes, even though you're smiling. He knows, and the realisation doesn't hit you as hard in the gut as you thought it would have.
Five o clock it is.
☆☆☆
When you enter the library, you know exactly where to go; Minho's usual spot is always the far corner, several long tables and chairs tucked behind the shelves. As someone who spends a lot of time in the library to begin with, you've often seen Minho by himself at one of the long tables, with his knees tucked neatly over one another as he reads, or his head bent in concentration as he studies.
You make your way there now; and sure enough, there he is. He's sitting perfectly upright, his posture immaculate. Your back hurts just thinking about sitting the way he does.
Yet again, the only movement is coming from his wrist as he writes something in his books, just like he did when you were at his dorm. He doesn't look up as you approach, hovering near the table unsurely. Like he's a wild animal to be tamed.
He is a little bit, you think.
"Minho..." You begin hesitantly, if not only to announce your presence.
"Hello, Y/n," he says quietly. He sets his pen down in one movement and looks up at you. Like he doesn't have energy to spare, so he's mindful of every move. "Sit down."
You laugh nervously as you collapse into a chair near him, one seat away from where he is. You are a walking tornado in the pristine museum that is Lee Minho.
"So, what is this, a therapy session?" You tilt your head at him, trying to break this ice. Shit, this is so awkward.
"No," he says again, matter-of-factly. "You've been avoiding me."
"I haven't," you try feebly.
"All you do is lie, Y/n. To yourself too. Stop it."
His comment cuts you unexpectedly.
It hurts even more because he's right. You lied to him and to yourself. You told yourself that avoiding him was the best thing to do. And in addition, suddenly you're irritated and pissed off because of how calm he is.
"Minho."
His tone softens. "Sorry."
You huff and lean back. It feels like when you were a kid, getting into trouble for talking back.
"Why'd you call me here? You've finished your section of the project, so there's no need for us to work together anymore."
Minho shakes his head. "That's not why I asked you here."
You're quiet. Then, "Why?"
"Y/n, I'm not upset about what happened. It seems you are."
He's talking like a fucking therapist, you think. "I didn't mean to touch you like that, it was just on a whim, I was overtired-"
Minho laughs suddenly, his eyes crinkling. It's a surprisingly pleasant sound. "Did you rehearse that excuse?"
You grumble and attempt to wipe the haughty smile off of your face. He's seeing right through you at every turn. "No."
"Well, does being overtired make people want to be close to each other and touch each others' faces?"
You scoff at him, though your heart is pounding. "No. Stop being stupid."
"I'm not stupid. I'm incredibly smart. And I'm right."
"Sure you are, Min."
You freeze. The nickname slips out almost on habit; countless times during the duration of previous project meetings had you called him that purely to irritate him. At first it was a tease. Now it was almost affectionate.
His usual ticked-off reply doesn't come. He looks at you strangely. Then with a slow, deliberate movement, he gets up and sits down in the chair directly next to you. Several of his papers and pens clatter and drift off the table, but he doesn't flinch, nor notice. He doesn't even blink, his gaze entirely, unbrokenly fixed on you.
You gulp.
"I've had a long day," he says calmly. "I missed my lecture this morning because I was studying for my arts exam, and I wasn't able to talk to you these days either, which made it surprisingly worse. I couldn't sleep last night either."
He says all of this with a pure, almost gentle sort of conviction. Like he's a stranger in an elevator, making a polite comment about the weather to fill the silence. It's raining quite hard today. It's predicted sunnier tomorrow, though.
Your throat is dry and it almost hurts to talk. What do you even say to that?
"Okay."
Minho nods solemnly, the ghost of a lopsided grin on his face. His gaze is implicative, almost a smirk. "I happen to be quite overtired at the moment. Do you know what happens when people are overtired, Y/n? I think you do."
Not for the first time in your life do you curse Lee Minho with the eternal role of 'little shit'.
"No," you whisper, unable to speak any louder. "I don't."
"I told you to stop lying."
"I'm not."
He tilts his head a little more. "You are."
You go silent.
Minho's hand comes up to experimentally touch your cheek. You almost flinch at the unexpected gesture but you force yourself to stay still, not wanting to shatter the charged atmosphere. The pads of his fingers are soft and then he draws them back, bringing them to cover his mouth.
He yawns.
He's doing it on purpose now, you think in exasperation. Trying to make me admit that I wasn't overtired at all when I touched him. Even though he already knows what I was doing.
He leans back in his chair, tilting his head to the other side. At this point he's just teasing. He knows exactly what your intentions are. He's playing it up to frustrate you.
Minho brings one hand to his perfect hair and rifles his fingers through it, gaze never leaving you. He messes it up on purpose and you find yourself almost drawn to him, wanting nothing more to reach out and fix it. His gaze is nothing more than an invitation. At least, that's what you're assuming.
You're so close to him, you could just reach out and brush it away like you did those days ago... so you do. It's as soft as you remember, like pinfeathers between your fingertips, and you card it out of his face in gentle, slow motions, not fixing it completely, busy trying your best to ignore his piercing gaze almost burning through yours.
You hesitantly poke his knee, just checking that he's not an apparition and that this is actually happening. It is. And when you look back up, you feel Minho's presence far closer to you than you did before.
This time, when he tilts his head, it is a gentle question. Yes or no?
You nod shakily.
Minho leans in slowly, eyes flitting to yours, checking every step of the way, before his mouth brushes gently against the curve of your cheekbone. Like a bird's wing brushing your face. Colour floods your cheeks and your face burns rosy as his mouth brushes yours briefly, a little clumsy but full of awkward affection, your eyes closing. Minho presses his forehead to yours for a few seconds and then leans back. You open your eyes.
His hair is a royal mess; you suppose your face is a mirror of his expression. His eyes are still fixed on you, the colour high and flushed on his cheeks, mouth parted. You don't think you've ever seen anything, anyone more beautiful.
Minho has the audacity to grin. To grin.
"I think," he breathes shakily, "that I should be overtired more often."
You let out a shaky laugh. "Yes."
"Y/n?"
"Minho."
"Please stop avoiding me," he says softly. "It was lonely."
You stutter out a response, surprised you're still functioning after he just kissed you. "Okay."
Minho brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. "You know that assignment we were working on together?"
You blink, surprised at the sudden change of subject, but you go along with it. You'd handed in your parts together several days ago; you'd scraped through with a decent mark, and Minho, of course, scored with his usual A+. "Yes?"
Minho actually laughs then and you know instantly that it's a sound you want to hear him make for the rest of your life. "I knew you would struggle with it, so I gave you most of the work so that you'd have to come to me for help. We spent more time together because of it."
Your mouth drops open. "Minho, you didn't."
He grins, poking your cheek. "Told you I'm super smart. I pulled an A+ and a hot partner at the same time."
You kick him in the shin.
a/n bonus: i saw this in the tags and i have to admit i laughed
Your fic about safe is so amazing I'm inlove with it?? Could you do a similar one but with daddy issues like you're dating Han or Chris (idm which you pick) and you sometimes worry he'll leave you + Ur own issues, tw? Bipolar and depression? Whatever makes you comfortable to do at least
aha thank you so much ! i just titled this one 'depressed reader' but all of the main details are in the descriptions below >< also i couldn't decide between writing chan or han so i just kind of wrote both lol . . . hopefully this one brings you some comfort too, anon <3
pairing: bang chan x depressed!reader
summary: watching chan with one of his members makes everything you've felt lately rise to the surface.
genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort at the end, depression, hinting to bipolar disorder, heavy descriptions of relationship issues (i made it sort of vague so it applies to a lot of scenarios), descriptions of ed, deprecating and negative thoughts, breakdowns, attachment issues, chan is the sweetest most understanding person in the whole world, jisung is mentioned multiple times in this fic
a/n: sending love to all my readers ! you are all soso appreciated <3. divider from @ianrkives
You hesitantly open the door to the studio after knocking twice. When there's no reply, you quickly step inside and blink. The room is pretty much dark, the only source of light coming from a dim standing lamp in the corner.
Chan is seated at his desk, hunched over the soundboard, with a pair of headphones clasping either side of his head. You can barely see him in the dark, only his face, hands, and the column of his throat visible out of the baggy black clothes he always likes to wear.
He doesn't look up as you enter and then quietly shut the door, too focused on the wavy, lilting lines and sequences of the song production software in front of him. You sigh softly and walk up to him, coming from the side so you don't startle him. Placing your bag down on the small table before the sofa, you place a couple of hesitant fingers on the arm of his chair.
"Channie?" You say quietly.
He's still squinting at the screen, somehow so focused he doesn't even see you right next to him. Or maybe it's the light from the screen; when you stare at a device for so long in the dark, it gets difficult to see anything else.
But he suddenly seems to sense your movement, and he must have realised it was you, because he wraps an arm around your waist and gently pulls you closer.
"Hi, baby," he murmurs, not taking his eyes off the screen. His gaze is focused and almost intense as he scrutinizes every soundbar and beat of the music. You bite your lip.
You begin to worry a little then; have you disturbed him from his work? Maybe you shouldn't have come, or at least sent him a text telling him you were coming to the company studio. Maybe he would be more comfortable if you just left him alone.
Before your thoughts can descend on your head like a static black cloud, Chan finally slips off his headphones, leaning back in his chair with a heavy exhale. His arm is still around your waist and so he tugs you with him a little bit, eyes roaming over your face as he stretches.
"Sorry," he says, sighing contentedly as his back pops a little. "Got so caught up, didn't realise I'd be here so late."
"It's okay," you say quietly. "I figured."
Chan catches the hint of sadness creeping into your tone and he pulls you onto his lap, coiling strong arms around your torso. His unruly, ruffled curls tickle the naps of your neck and you squirm, letting out an involuntary giggle. Though the sound is happy, it immediately fills you with a creeping feeling of disgust, and you reproachfully close your mouth.
Chan doesn't seem to notice; he seems rather content to just keep you on his lap. He's absentmindedly singing something, and you stand up off of his lap suddenly, brushing yourself off. For some unknown reason, you begin to feel a bit embarrassed, like you used to feel around Chan when you didn't know him too well.
The man in question sits up a little straighter in his chair, smiling at you. "How was your day, baby?"
"Good," you say a little curtly. You're not sure where the tone is coming from, and you shove the feeling down before you can say something in a way you'd regret.
Chan hums thoughtfully and pokes you lightly in the stomach. "Just good, hmm? Usually I'd get a lot more than that... are you okay?"
"Yes," you say quietly, even though you feel anything but. You're grateful for the darkness then, because it means Chan can't see the tears beginning to prickly hotly at the corners of your eyes. You keep your voice strong and fight the urge to sniffle so as not to alert him. "Just had a long day. You?"
Saying those sentences almost makes you break.
Chan can never know what it's like; how it feels to be brushed off and ignored and attacked by someone who is supposed to love you. To feel like you don't really matter, or that your thoughts and ideas and dreams are just that; useless, empty words inside your head. And to be constantly reminded of how little your worth is, to the point where you're not sure what love is, or what it looks like.
Chan will never understand; he had a completely normal childhood, with a completely normal family and upbringing, and he's normal. Normal in the way that he has people to turn to, people who love and support him, and he's normal in the way that he doesn't scrutinize his own actions every single second of every single day.
And he will never know what it's like to be struggling with something to the point where it all just builds up inside your head like a messy pile of bricks. Where it all weighs down heavy on your mood and sends clouds of dust into the air, distorting and warping your emotions.
So far you've been able to control your mood swings around him; you'd succeeded in making Chan think that you're a person who likes to sleep a lot. In reality you just lie down and keep your eyes and mouth shut so you don't end up acting hypomanic or have outbursts at him. At least it's working; you would much rather keep it all inside than bare the most vulnerable parts of yourself to someone who might decide to turn away and leave you because of it.
You've learnt that keeping those thoughts and emotions inside is better, because then at least people stay. For some time, anyway. Lately you've been feeling like you're biding your time, waiting until the day where Chan finds out everything and decides to do what's best for himself.
When he decides to leave you.
"...And then Han decided he was going to try and do his makeup himself all of a sudden, and of course it was a whole mess. I had to clean sparkly highlighter out of his mouth. I mean, how does that even happen?"
You blink. Chan has been talking this whole time while you've been zoned out of your mind, pitifully burying yourself in your struggles. You climb out of the pit but for a moment and nod along, though he still can't see you because of the dark. You hope that he's just been talking about Han the whole time and not anything else, because if you missed something, Chan will definitely know something's wrong. You inwardly curse yourself for making a habit out of replying to every event and topic that comes out of Chan's mouth.
"Does he not know you guys have perfectly good stylists for that?" You murmur, carding a hand through his fluffy hair.
He sighs exasperatedly, rolling his eyes. "Apparently not."
You feel the slightest hint of mirth warming your heart as you notice the tips of Chan's rough, calloused fingers covered in the faintest hint of sparkles. But it quickly disappears, replaced by a cold, dead numbness that seems to encapsulate your whole being. Like icy water.
"Anyways," Chan stretches again, standing up. "How come you're here and not at home?"
Slightly taken aback at the blunt statement, you stutter a little. Chan's eyes go wide and he shakes his hands frantically in front of himself. "N-not like that! I'm glad you're here, it's just that it's really late and I thought you would be asleep by now..."
You blink at him, and then at the clock. He has a point; the white LEDs on the display read 1:43 am. Normally you'd be passed out in bed at this time.
"Couldn't sleep," you say. "I missed you."
And it's true. You did miss him. But suddenly you're looking straight through Chan to someone else and saying that last sentence to him instead. You clench your fists.
"Aww," Chan whines cutely, pulling you into a hug. "My baby. I missed you too. This new song track is killing me."
You pull back from the hug and kiss him on the cheek, partly because kissing Chan makes him go all red, and if you let him hug you any longer, you'll probably break down.
Chan does go red and you poke him lightly in the side, teasing gently. He chuckles and jerks away as you walk to the low table and pick up a bag. "I brought food."
"Oh, you're the best," Chan dives for the bag and eagerly digs through, clumsily kissing your cheek as he pulls the lid off one of the takeout containers. He sits down on the couch before pulling out a pair of chopsticks from the bag and heaping a mouthful of the food. He groans loudly. "This is so good."
"Tastes better after work, doesn't it?" You sit down next to him and lean back, looking at the ceiling. You cross your arms over your stomach to keep it quiet.
Chan nods eagerly and holds out his chopsticks. "Say ahh, Y/n."
You shake your head ruefully but Chan insists, moving closer. Relenting, you open your mouth and feel the warmth of the food against your tongue. It tastes so good, and for a second, you think about asking for more, but you realise that Chan needs it more. After all, he's been working all night.
Besides, if you ask for more of his food, he might think you're being greedy and look at you that certain way that someone else does.
In disgust.
You know in your heart that Chan would never do these sorts of things, but the doubt nags consistently at your consciousness, tugging your mood one way and then your emotions the next. The constant change between feelings is almost giving you whiplash and you exhale, closing your eyes and leaning back into the couch.
"Baby?"
"Mm," you say without opening your eyes.
"Is everything okay?" You hear him setting down his chopsticks, feel the tiny thud through the table as he sets the already-empty container down gently. Your heart drops to your stomach.
Keep it together. He doesn't know anything.
You sigh and sit up, your heartstrings twinging. "Just a lot to think about lately. Why?"
Chan nods, leaning back into the couch next to you. "It's just that you've been really quiet lately. I was wondering if something was going on..."
He ends his reply on a sort of question, like he's expecting you to open up to him about everything at once. You almost laugh out loud at the absurdity of it. How could he possibly expect you to do something like that? And so easily too...
You inwardly scoff. Nice try. You're not getting anything out of me, Chan. Better you don't know anyway. I know you'll change your mind about me.
But your heart takes control of your mouth, and maybe it's the constant sense of longing you seem to have around Chan, but you want to open up to him. Tell him everything, about your terrible past and terrible experiences, and all you are because of it. And a sudden, lingering sense of hope makes you believe that even after you tell him all of it, he'll stay.
Even if it's just for a moment.
"I, um.. I just had an argument with someone," you say vaguely. And it's not entirely the truth. But it's not exactly a lie either. The words shouted at you earlier flash through your mind, white and hot and painful. Like a fresh cut, a harsh, swift slice too deep and sudden to process. Where, for a moment, there's nothing, until the blood starts filling the white gap and then spilling over, like a gruesome parody of tears.
Chan turns to face you on the couch. "Argument? About what?"
You shift a little uncomfortably. Now you have to tell him. "About- just whatever."
"It's not whatever, Y/n," he says firmly. "Not if it's making you this upset."
And maybe it's the sudden realisation that Chan is so normal, with his normal family and mind and life that you feel a raging pang of jealousy fill you up from your toes to your head. You huff and turn away.
"It's nothing," you grit your teeth, fighting not to spit venom.
Stop it, Y/n. It's not his fault.
Chan blinks in surprise at your slightly harsh response but doesn't push you any further. You don't look at him, but you hear him sigh and get up to toss the empty takeout container in the trash. Your heart sinks and you wait for him to turn around and chide you for being so rude and stubborn. After all, he was just trying to help.
But he doesn't. He sits back down on the couch, and looks up at the ceiling, so that you two are lying next to each other in the exact same position. He doesn't talk, either.
You both sit in deafening silence.
You're grateful when the door opens with a haphazard bang and Han walks in, clad in an oversized grey hoodie and sweats. He's clutching a notebook in his hands, glasses slipping off the bridge of his nose. You know the story Chan told earlier was true because you can see smears of sparkly highlighter high on his cheekbones. He doesn't seem to be aware of the time, nor the dark state of the room, or the fact that you're so tense your shoulders feel like concrete.
You're grateful for the interruption until he walks over to Chan and promptly sits in his lap. Han murmurs a few lyrics to him, who seems unfazed by the sudden action, and questions about what he thinks could be changed with the song words. Chan replies quietly and his gaze flicks to you in the dimness of the room, but you just shrug, saying you don't mind.
But sitting there, watching Han sit so quietly and comfortably in Chan's lap makes your heart pang for some reason. He wasn't afraid, didn't ask if it was okay, just sat right down and made himself comfortable. Because you know for a fact Chan lets him do this.
And maybe it's the way Chan strokes an absentminded finger down Han's shoulder, or the way he speaks so softly, or the way it's so reminiscent of someone taking care of their child, but you find your eyes brimming with hot tears by the time Han gets up and leaves.
Chan turns to you, about to say something about the lyrics of the new track, but he stops short. A look of worry comes over his expression.
He scoots closer, placing a warm hand on your arm. "Baby? Are you okay?"
All you can do is shake your head, your eyes scrunching up as you fall into his arms. Chan holds you close, one hand cradling your head against his chest like you're the most precious thing in the whole world. Little do you know, to him, you are.
You sob. The reality of everything comes crashes down on you and all you can do is wail and hiccup into Chan's warm, solid chest. You expect him to push you away by the time the tears have soaked through his shirt, but he doesn't. He holds you close and rocks you gently, shushing you and cooing as he wipes hot, sticky streaks off your cheekbones.
You can't help but cry harder. Your eyes almost sting from how hard you've scrunched them up, and your hands ball in the back of Chan's hoodie like it's a lifeline. And it is. You feel that if you let go, you might fall and never return.
"I'm here," you hear Chan whispering through the mess. "I'm here."
Again and again he says it, and every time he does, your tears flow a little slower, and he keeps saying it until your breakdown has reduced itself to a fit of hiccups and messy sniffles. Still he doesn't push you away, or snap at you to get over it, or that your tears mean nothing. He just sits and holds you.
When you finally look up, Chan is smiling gently, reassuringly, though a little sadly. He sees the look in your eyes and knows you don't want to talk about it, so he sits and rocks you softly on his lap. You squeeze your eyes shut and heave in a rocky breath.
Please just keep holding me, you beg him silently. Just for a while.
And he does. And he doesn't let go, not even when you whimper into his shoulder and soak the juncture of his neck with your misery. He kisses the salty wetness away and strokes the pads of his fingers across your face, where the skin is red and sticky.
"I love you," he whispers.
"I'm sorry," you cry. "I can't get it all out of my head, and- it's too much, and I can't-"
"Shh, baby. I've got you, okay? Just breathe for me."
You heave in a few breaths and continue clinging to him. He feels so warm and safe. All you want is to be surrounded by him, to breathe him in, have him tell you that he loves you.
He must have read your mind, because he leans close to your ear and whispers firmly.
"I'm not leaving you, yeah? I'm gonna stay right here, hold you til you're better. You mean the world to me, hmm? Do you know that?"
You shake your head sadly.
"Now you do. I'm not going anywhere," he says with such conviction that you almost begin to believe it. He wraps his arms closer around you and kisses your forehead, whispering fiercely.
"I promise."
a/n: masterlist
pairing: ot8 hyung line x reader
summary: how skz hyung line would love you.
genre: fluff, non-idol! au, crack
a/n: want the maknaes ?
bang chan ♡
chan shows his love through constant care and attention. He always checks in on you, sending messages to make sure you’re okay, even when he's busy. He remembers the little things, like your favorite snacks or the way you like your coffee (if you drink it, ofc), and makes sure to have them ready for you. Chan is the type to notice when you’re feeling down before you even say anything, offering a warm hug or a quiet moment together to help you feel better. He loves to leave little notes or texts reminding you of how much you mean to him, often signing off with a simple "I’m here for you." Whether it’s making sure you’re bundled up before heading out into the cold or staying up late just to talk, Chan’s love is steady, reassuring, and always present in the smallest gestures <3
lee know ♡
his love is shown through his subtle, yet deeply thoughtful actions. He’s not always the most verbal about his feelings, but his love is evident in the way he takes care of you. He might quietly do things like make your bed in the morning or prepare your favorite meal without being asked. He’s also incredibly protective, always walking on the side of the street closest to the road or holding your hand in crowded places to keep you close. Minho also loves to surprise you with small, meaningful gifts—like a keychain from a place you mentioned wanting to visit or a plushie that reminds him of you. His teasing is also a sign of his affection, using humor and playfulness to make you smile. When you’re together, he’s always making sure you’re comfortable, from adjusting your pillow to turning off the lights when you’re too tired to move <3
changbin ♡
changbin expresses his love through a blend of playfulness and sincerity. He loves to make you laugh, always coming up with silly jokes or playful banter to brighten your day. His love language is often physical; he enjoys holding your hand, giving you tight hugs, or playfully wrestling with you just to hear you laugh. But beyond the jokes, Changbin is incredibly attentive—he notices when you’re stressed and will do his best to cheer you up, whether that’s through a spontaneous snack run or an impromptu dance party in the living room. He also loves to show off in small ways, like lifting heavy things for you or flexing his muscles jokingly, just to see your reaction. Despite his tough exterior, he’s soft at heart and isn’t afraid to let you see that side of him, always making sure you know just how much he cares <3
hyunjin ♡
Hyunjin’s love is shown through his artistic, romantic gestures. He’s the type to leave you beautiful drawings or poems, expressing his feelings in creative ways. He loves to take you on impromptu dates to art galleries, cozy cafes, or scenic spots where you can talk and enjoy each other’s company. Hyunjin is incredibly affectionate, often brushing your hair out of your face or holding your hand in a gentle, comforting way. He’s also very in tune with your emotions, offering a comforting presence when you’re feeling low. Hyunjin loves to spoil you with little surprises, like a bouquet of flowers just because he was thinking of you, or a handmade bracelet that he spent hours perfecting. His love is shown in the way he looks at you—his eyes filled with admiration and affection, as if you’re the most precious, beautiful thing in his whole entire world <3
a/n: comment for the maknae line version ♡
pairing: best friend!bang chan x reader
summary: after a nasty scare, you talk to felix and hyunjin about what happened. the distance between you and chan grows, until...
genre: angsty angsty, idol!au, mentions of hospital, blood, cuts, bruises, no graphic descriptions, mentions of needles (blood withdrawals), mentions of food and drink, han and jeongin want to be medical professionals, seungmin is far too honest (he loves them really), chan loses his shit, i'm not sorry for the ending :]
a/n: the long-awaited part of 'stupidly perfect'! everyone cheer . div by @ferretmilkshakezzz
skz masterlist | skz prompt list | part one here
The room is cold; it's the kind of cold that you only experience in hospital. That starched-white, stiff, sterilized cold that seems to sink into every fibre of your being, turning it to ice, until all you can do is sink further into the pristine sheets, trying to find some semblance of warmth.
Warmth.
It reminds you of Chan all over again; the pining, the admiring, the restaurant, Chae. Crying in the bathroom. Confessing. The car.
It's been two days since the accident; your cuts and scrapes are beginning to scab over, but you're still not allowed to leave. They woke you in the hospital in a daze, took one look at your battered body, and that was that. One week of staying in hospital, then they'll see what they can do about letting you go home.
You sigh. Turning onto your side with some difficulty, you survey the familiar white blandness of the room.
It's empty enough; the door in the corner has a pane of frosted glass over it, and a couple of switches by the frame. There's a white table and two chairs placed near the wide window, and the monitors surrounding your bed are a sterile light grey, beeping and flashing.
White, white, white.
Huffing and turning to your left to look out the window instead, you find a slightly more interesting sight; raindrops slide down the glass in a constant, heavy drizzle, and you can just make out the tall, surroundings buildings nearby. The sky is grey, and you think then that maybe the world really has lost its colour. It only felt that way at first; now you can't help but wonder if your world is turning to greyscale, void of colour and life and love.
There's a knock on the door and you're sluggishly dragged out of your misery. Pressing a button by your bedside to let whoever it is in, you sit up a little as a nurse enters the room.
"Hello," she says softly. "Feeling any better?"
You shake your head, and try to offer a smile, but it doesn't work.
"Poor you," she replies quietly. "Anything to eat, maybe? A drink of water?"
"No, thank you," you whisper, exhausted.
She nods, adjusting the hem of her ironed top, and then moves to draw the blinds down. Just enough to dim the room slightly and still let you look out the window.
"You have a visitor," the nurse says softly. "Are you feeling well enough to see them, or should I tell them to come some other time?"
You sit up a little straighter then, heart beginning to throb unpleasantly in your chest. "I, um.. Let them in."
She nods and leaves, and you can hear her softly speaking to someone in the corridor. There's a little bit of shuffling, and then a familiar face pokes its nose into the room.
"Felix," you say, relieved.
He shuts the door with far more care than he ought to, and the comical sight makes your heart twinge. You didn't even realise how much you missed him, too caught up in your own head to acknowledge the Felix-shaped hole in your heart.
He drags a chair from the table over to the bedside and flops down, depositing his bag onto the floor. You inhale deeply; a fresh wave of sweet-smelling cologne fills your senses, immediately reinvigorating. The air feels light and tangy.
"How have you been?" Felix says quietly. "Heard it was nasty."
You sit up with some difficulty, trying to ignore the stabbing pains in your joints. "Yeah, I'm okay. I guess. Could've been worse."
Quiet. Then-
"He's torn to pieces about it," he says even quieter. "Chan."
You sigh and look down at your bruised hands, fiddling over the starched sheets. "Oh."
"Yeah."
Biting the inside of your cheek, you slide down a little against the pillow. "Is- is he okay? Like..."
Felix sighs, running a hand through his dark hair. Leaning back on the chair, he toes his boots off and places his socked feet on the bed, crossing his legs over one another. You crack a tiny smile at the casual gesture.
"He hasn't been talking much," he muses. "Kind of just stays in his room most of the time. He stopped talking to Chae as well. He felt so guilty."
You groan. "I didn't try to make him feel guilty. I just wanted to tell him how I felt all this time... and I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't been so upset about what happened at the restaurant."
"I know."
"He didn't have to cut Chae off because of it... I kinda wanted them to stop talking, but I didn't want that to happen..."
"I know."
"And now I messed up and I'm stuck in hospital all cut and bruised because I couldn't fucking look both ways before I crossed the road-"
"I know."
You slap him half-heartedly on the shoulder. "Is that all you're going to say?"
He runs a hand through his dark locks again. "Nah. By the way, I'm sorry I didn't come sooner to see you. I figured you'd want some time to rest and heal."
You sigh. "It's okay. I just- Everything is a mess right now."
"Messes can be cleaned."
You sigh and shift against the uncomfortable firm mattress. "Lix?"
He tilts his head. "Yeah?"
"I'm really glad you came to see me."
Felix is silent. Then, he stands and leans against the glass of the window, looking down thoughtfully to the streets below.
You get out of bed with some difficulty and join him, letting your forehead rest on the cold, cool glass. You're not bothered that he isn't replying to your sentiment; sometimes, people say the most when they speak no words at all.
Both of you are aware that the glass could break at any moment and send you both hurtling to the ground, but you don't move and neither does Felix, still looking down onto the street far, far below.
All you can hear is his soft breathing, the muted sounds of city life rumbling seemingly right under your feet, and the occasional soft footsteps of a nurse outside the door.
"Are you gonna talk to him?" Felix says. "About it all."
It's a vague enough question; strangely, you feel your heart flutter. Talking to Chan after getting out of hospital seems like such a faraway event. Like it's something that you don't need to worry about for the next few years, so distant.
That is not true.
"I'm gonna have to face him at some point," you say, sighing in resignation. "Should I wait for him to find me first? It might be less awkward..."
Felix lets out a little laugh, drawing a circle on the glass with his fingertip. "It's gonna be awkward either way."
You sigh and look down at the streets below. It seems so peaceful up here, yet you can see the faint, faraway tell-tale gathering of dark clouds on the horizon.
He's right.
.
"So," Yuna exhales, pulling your bag inside the door. "Do you want me to pick up anything from the grocery store for you?"
You think about this question as you set your waterbottle down on the counter. It's so good to finally be back home. Yuna, one of your work friends, called and asked if you wanted help getting set up back at home, and you had readily and gratefully agreed.
"Um.. I need more milk and..." You open the fridge, then the pantry, to inspect what needs replacing. "...And some ramen."
Yuna scoffs. "Y/n, you are not living off ramen. You just got out of a week in hospital... do you want to send yourself back in from an MSG overdose?"
You laugh, your healing ribs hurting at the action, and unzip your bag. "Okay, fine. I'll ask Felix if he can spare me anything. The boys said they'd drop off a few things for me too."
She brings you in carefully for a hug, and you wrap your arms around her frame. She smells so nice, and not for the first time do you deeply relish the warmth of someone's arms around your body. There's something about physical affection that is just so comforting.
Especially after so long in hospital.
Felix had dutifully come to visit you every day, each time bringing a couple of the members. It had been a welcome distraction from the fading novelty of being hospitalised and the injuries you sustained, but after Han and Jeongin asked the nurses to have a go at giving you a blood withdrawal, Felix had hurried them out of the room.
Not that they minded.
Then there was Seungmin, coolly making jokes about turning off your life support (you weren't even in intensive care), and Lee Know, who had smuggled Dori into his bag to bring to you.
"Dori will kiss it better," he had said seriously (Dori bit you).
Hyunjin spent most of his time sketching and painting over your bandages; it was a welcome gesture from the stark white you'd gotten so used to seeing in the hospital. Even Changbin had taken time off his busy schedule to see you, often coming into the room fresh from the gym or a dance practice.
But no Chan.
Each time they entered, you'd look up in anticipation and barely veiled hope, but it was always wasted. He never showed. Felix told you they'd been trying to persuade him to come and see you, but Chan had refused and shut down. You were a little disappointed and partially relieved at this revelation.
You glance down at the bandages wrapping your forearms now; not exactly a cast, but not a simple wrap either. It's slightly stiff, and you smile at the multitude of silly signatures and drawings that the members and some of your friends had peppered the surface with.
Looking around your living room and then casting a glass-eyed gaze over the kitchen, you inhale deeply. It feels strange to be here. The place is well-worn, lived in, but it feels like you've walked into someone else's home and stood in the middle of the room. It doesn't feel like you live here at all.
Oh well, you think. Time to get settled.
.
And settle you do; by the time the clock hits seven, you're curled up on the couch with a blanket, a bowl of hot soup (courtesy of Lee Know), and a good tv show.
You've turned the lights off and put the lamps on instead; you swear if you see one more bright light you might literally lose your mind.
The dim, golden glow is comforting; it makes you feel warm, and along with the effects of Lee Know's soup, the fluffy blanket, and the light pitter-patter of rain on the window outside, you begin to feel very sleepy. The show you've put on in the background drones on faintly, and for a moment, you revel in the quiet.
Until the doorbell rings.
You groan and heave yourself up from the couch. Standing up, you pause for a few seconds to see if whoever it is will give up and decide to go away.
They don't. The doorbell rings again.
Yawning, you make your way to the door and unlock it, coming face-to-face with none other than Hwang Hyunjin.
"Hyune," you say, surprised.
"Hey," he grins sheepishly, running a hand through his buzzed hair. "Can I come in?"
You step aside and shut the door as he takes his shoes off, shrugging off his rain-spotted jacket. Wordlessly, you sit back down on the couch and gesture for him to do the same. He does.
"How have you been?" You ask him quietly, trying to drape the blanket over yourself once again.
Hyunjin reaches across and tucks the blanket in for you. "I should be the one asking that, don't you think?"
You shrug.
He sighs, leaning back against the couch, and tucks his socked feet up underneath him. "I'm okay."
"Just okay?"
He shifts uncomfortably, like there's something wrong with his insides. "I, um... Have you talked to Chan yet? Has he talked to you since..."
You shake your head. "Why? Aside from the obvious."
Hyunjin exhales. "He's lost his shit."
"What?"
He sits up a little further, repeating himself. "He's lost his shit. He's just- not himself."
You sigh and relax against the cushions, not knowing what to say. You feel a little bit bad, but your stubbornness tells you that Chan should be the one to reach out again first if he's so upset about it.
You tell Hyunjin that, but he just shakes his head.
"One of you is going to have to take the first step to fix this," he says. "How do you feel about it, though?"
"Considering it was my own fault for not looking both ways, and my fault for setting off the whole thing... it still stings."
He nods understandingly. "I figured you might wanna talk about it a little, if Felix hasn't done that already. That's why I came."
You shake your head. "We talked about it a little, but I guess he was mostly there to distract me."
Hyunjin chuckles. "He's good at it too."
You nod. There's silence.
"So you're in love with Chan," he says finally.
Hearing it being said out loud is strange. Like something surreal floating in the air. Not a truth that you've kept buried for so long. Well, not anymore, at least.
Hyunjin's voice snaps you out of your daze. "Do you still love him? You know, after all of this."
You sigh and cast your gaze on the golden light emitting from a nearby lamp. "I don't know. I guess. But it doesn't matter if he doesn't feel the same way."
"Maybe he does," he says earnestly. His skin is honeyed in the dimness of the room.
"He's far too busy for it anyway," you say. You hate the way it sounds like you're unsure. Like you're trying to convince yourself that you're not in love with your best friend.
Hyunjin seems to pick up on this, because he scoots a little closer, stroking a couple of fingers along your blanketed knee. "Even if he doesn't feel the same way, Y/n, it doesn't mean you can't still work it out. You two were inseparable-"
"Yeah, until Chae came along."
"Was she really the reason?"
You sigh and turn to face him, shifting on the couch. "If he really loved me, he would have made an effort to talk to me despite Chae. Like I did. I did everything I could to see him as often as possible," you sigh. "But he didn't do the same thing."
"Maybe he was too afraid to ruin what you both have," Hyunjin says diplomatically.
You scoff. "Well, he shouldn't have worried, because I ruined it for both of us."
He sighs and touches your hand lightly. "Talk to him. We've been trying to convince him to come and see you-"
"No," you say, panicked. "Don't do that."
"Y/n, just- How are you both supposed to work this out if you keep avoiding each other?"
You groan and lean your head on his shoulder. "I don't know. And I want to fix this, Hyune, but I can't face him and have him tell me he doesn't feel the same way. It's better like this."
"Is is worth losing him to preserve your feelings?"
Silence.
"I don't know," you finally admit, voice quiet.
The lamp flickers.
.
In the morning, you wake up sprawled on the couch, the blanket tucked up neatly under your chin. You glance across at the coffee table; your bowl isn't there anymore, and the TV is off. Hyunjin is gone.
Sitting up, you notice the bowl in the sink, and a small bag of something, probably food, on the counter. Thanking your stars that you have good friends, you stand up and stretch.
Your strength is almost fully replenished, and your cuts and bruises have gone from angry reds and pinks to faded purples and browns. They don't hurt as much anymore, and it's easier to move around, so you decide to get some housework done after eating.
The weather outside is still grey and stormy; it rains hard for the first part of the morning. You've woken up quite late, but the sleep must have done you good, because by the time afternoon hits, you've cleaned up your place quite well.
Your phone buzzes, then again, and again; it's the SKZ groupchat, and you smile at the multitude of welcome-home messages flooding in from the guys. Your cheeks warm.
Hanji Quokka 🔥: WELCOME HOMEE Y/NNNNN Kiwi 🥝: Hope you slept well. Seungie 🐶: Don't do that again. Thought you were gonna die. We all got excited for a minute. Lixie Pixie 💫: SEUNGMIN Strong Guy 🐇: SEUNGMIN Lee Doesn't Know 💟: SEUNGMIN
You roll your eyes and your finger moves to press the button to turn your phone off, fighting a smile. Their affection, however chaotic, makes a twinge of warmth settle comfortably in your stomach.
Your phone buzzes again, and you open your messages to see a text from Hyunjin.
Hyune: Feeling any better? Y/n: Yes. Thank you. For last night as well... I didn't even hear you leave. Hyune: Probably a good thing. I reckon you needed the rest. Y/n: Yeah. Hyune: Can I come over tonight? Y/n: Of course.
You turn your phone off then. It seems a little strange, that he sent you a private text rather than just asking how you were in the group chat. But you shrug it off, and decide to continue cleaning up.
You don't notice how dark it's beginning to get; wiping the minimal sweat from your forehead, you quickly run upstairs to change into a fresh set of clothes and wash up.
Hyunjin said he'd come round the same time as yesterday, so you turn all the lights off and put the lamps on again. You like the honeyed wash it coats everything in, softening all harsh corners and edges and covering them in that familiar, golden glow. Warmth emits from their bulbs.
You're about to plop down on the couch and dissociate for a while, or at least until Hyunjin comes over, but the doorbell interrupts your motions.
Huh. That was quick.
It's raining outside again, you notice as you make your way to the door. The comforting pitter-patter fills your senses as your fingertips touch the cold metal of the door handle.
You undo the latch and pull the door open. You expect to see Hyunjin, drops of water clinging to his jacket, a sheepish grin stretched handsomely across his elegant features.
But it's not.
"Chan," you whisper.
a/n: ohohohooo reader is cooked (i think. i haven't decided what the third part will be about. anyways.)
ttokki's taglist: @emilywhyyy @galaxy4489 @hyuneskkami @justsomekpopstuff @wavetohannie @strayingawayy @its-stayville-forever @batty-barty-crouchjr @wickedbutlovely @headfirstfortoro @lov3yv4mps @possum-playground @bear8585 @astraystayyh @m-325 @gnabnahcbby
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pairing: lee know x reader
summary: lee know headcanons
genre: fluff, idol! au, comfort, general fluff headcanons, i'm calling him minho bc it's easier to type sorry not sorry
a/n: posting for the first time in a while. divider from @plutism
masterlist
we all know how much minho loves his dancing
so he'll often drag you to the studio to teach you some moves
since you're into stray kids as a whole, you're often trying to learn the choreo
it helps when your boyfriend is the one who helps make it lol
so whenever he can
he's teaching you the moves and how to make them look fluid
you're bored? studio. you just woke up? studio. it's the middle of the night and you can't sleep?
studio
he also likes performing the choreo for you so he can get your feedback
doesn't matter if you're a dancer or not
he just likes doing it for you so he can get another perspective on how he can do better
of course, it's not always helpful because you're always so enthusiastic and think he's amazing at it
he doesn't mind though, as long as you're happy
will tease you when you try and execute the movements like he does with varying levels of success
actually, when i think of it, i think he would love teaching you because it helps him understand the routine better
sometimes even drags you along to the group practices so you can give little opinions and try the moves yourself
likes watching his members show you how to move your arms in legs in a particular position
but he does get a bit irritated when hyunjin gets a little too close to you
airfryer
minho also loves cooking, we all know him as the chef of skz
and you're often hungry at night time for some reason
so you usually just roll over in bed and lightly shake him awake
he'll carry you to the kitchen and sit you down on the counter before turning a nearby lamp on
you might tell him what you're craving or tell him to just surprise you
one night it might be ramen, another it might be a simple sandwich
but whatever he makes for you, it's always really tasty and you have a little tradition of splitting it in half so he can eat too
he doesn't have much of an appetite at night time but he eats his half anyway to make you happy
you always feel super sleepy afterwards so you just let him carry you back to bed
he'll just wrap his arms around you and bury his face in your neck
he's out within a minute
he likes waking up early too, and just breathing you in next to him, fast asleep
for him, it's the highest form of vulnerability
trusting him to be around you when you're unconscious
he's honoured and it's not a surprise when you wake up to see him sleepily smiling next to you
also i feel like he sniffs a lot in the mornings
like he's a sniffy boy when he wakes up
anyways
minho loves anything cosy and warm
he's a whole cat
so expect lots of blanket forts and plush cushions in your living room
you two like collecting knitted blankies and little plush toys cos it makes for super cosy nights in
you could get home at the end of the day and just see him up to his neck in plushies and cushions
usually with a blanket all balled up next to him so the cats can share it
and he's usually asleep too after a long day at the company
so you just collapse into the fluffy mess next to him and take it easy
you and minho also have a friendly competition of who can come up with the most pet names
knowing how teasing this man is, he'll be coming up with the most disgustingly cringy sweet nicknames
he'll say one out of the blue and you'll fire right back, equally as saccharine
then it's usually a back and forth to see how unhinged it'll get
'honey pie' 'sweet pookums' 'fluffy wuffy cupcake' 'my darling toenail' and so forth
they just get more and more ridiculous and by the end of the back-and-forth you're both fighting not to throw up
still funny tho
despite the teasing, minho is the sweetest guy you've ever known
also so supportive of your dreams and ambitions
he also encourages you to talk about your feelings with him
if you're the trusting type, great
but if you're a little more wary, he'll gently encourage you to open up
but he never pushes you beyond your limits, since he hates being pushed past his boundaries himself
that's the thing about minho
he knows what he hates and so he doesn't tend to do those things to other people
he doesn't like it when people ask him why he's quiet sometimes and so he doesn't ask you the same thing
he just sorta knows
he's also very gentle with you in private, always making sure you're comfortable
around the guys he'll be a lot more teasing but you don't mind
in turn, you encourage him to do the same
you know some people call him cold or heartless
it often affects him when he feels he can't convey his feelings about you as well as he wants to
you know he means well and you know he loves you
he's very clear about that
so whatever he gives you, whether it's a little gift or a compliment or even just physical affection, you accept it
and it must be enough because he always gets all smiley
you know his little smile? yeah, that one
he compliments you? you'll thank him happily and he starts getting that little shy smile on his face
it's so cute so you make sure to be as open as you can towards him
there's nothing you both love more than each other <3
a/n: legend says hyunjin is still in the airfryer
all you have to do is request a number and any skz member! if you choose to request, they will be written as oneshots only, unless i decide i want to turn them into a story or write a part 2. please feel free to ask for a part 2 once the original has been released if you so wish :]
"I made us tea."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
"It's okay, I'm here."
"I’ll be right by your side."
"You don’t have to say anything."
"Let’s just sit for a while."
"I’m glad you’re here."
"Take your time. I’m not going anywhere."
"You can rest now."
"Everything will be okay."
"This isn’t what I wanted."
"Why didn’t you tell me?"
"I don’t know how we got here."
"We can’t keep doing this."
"I don’t think I can forgive you."
"You don’t even care, do you?"
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"We’ve been through this a thousand times."
"You don’t understand, do you?"
"You said you’d never leave."
"Are you trying to get me to fall for you?"
"That’s not what you said last time."
"I can’t believe you just said that."
"You’re a terrible influence."
"Is that your idea of a compliment?"
"I bet you can’t do this."
"Careful, I might take that the wrong way."
"You’re looking at me like that again."
"I like the way you think."
"Don’t think I didn’t notice."
"I didn’t expect it to hurt this much."
"I don’t know how to fix this."
"I didn’t mean for it to end like this."
"It’s not your fault, but I still feel... empty."
"How did we get so far apart?"
"I thought you understood me."
"I feel like I’m losing you."
"I wish things were different."
"I can’t keep pretending I’m fine."
"Maybe we weren’t meant to last."
"I need you to listen, just this once."
"There’s something you don’t know."
"You don’t want to know what I just found."
"I wasn’t supposed to say that."
"This changes everything."
"What if I told you I knew?"
"You’re not going to believe this."
"I wish I could take it back."
"I have a confession to make."
"If I were you, I’d run."
"Are you seriously going to act like nothing happened?"
"I’m done pretending this isn’t a problem."
"Why are you so afraid of the truth?"
"You can’t keep doing this to me."
"It’s always about you, isn’t it?"
"You don’t get to decide that."
"I’m not the one who walked away."
"Do you even care anymore?"
"I’m not asking for much, just honesty."
"This has to stop, now."
"I’ve been thinking about it all day."
"Maybe I never really understood what I wanted."
"It’s hard to know what’s real anymore."
"I thought I had everything figured out."
"Sometimes, I wonder if I made the right choice."
"It’s strange, isn’t it? How we end up here."
"I’ve been holding on to the wrong things."
"What do you think it all means?"
"It’s funny how life changes so quickly."
"I didn’t expect to feel like this again."
im starting to fear im clogging your reqs with changbin suggestions, sorry about that 😞 but your writing is so good i swear, hoping i can think about some more to send you
no don't even worry anon ! i love seeing new requests. don't ever be afraid to send them in, no matter which member it's for 🤍
let me know if you've got any more ideas ! love from mochi 🥰
The angst fic you just did of skz reacting to your death was soooo good 😭😭😭def think you should do a pt 2 if you ever consider it :)
*throws heart-wrenching, sob-worthy angst in your face and runs away cackling* SUFFER ! YOU ASKED FOR IT, YOU GET IT !
pairing: ot8!skz maknae!line x reader
summary: skz maknae line reactions to when you d*e.
genre: so so heavy on the angst like hyung line's, mentions of pushing people away, heavy grief themes, denial, mentions of manic disorders, deluded illusions of happiness, fading personalities, mentions of graves and headstones, mentions of blood and scissors in felix's, jeongin's almost made me cry (oh, my sweet, sweet innie), han's is also super sad
a/n: yeehee part 2 of the angstiest fic i've ever done. why is it actually kinda fun to write sad stuff . . . ? anyway div by @carnage-cathedral
if this content makes you uncomfortable, please skip it . the last thing i want is to make people upset, so don't read this if it's triggering for you. proceed with caution and be safe, my loves <3
skz masterlist | part one (hyung!line)
Han whose mic clatters to the floor as the news sinks in. Can't believe it for a good week or two. Not until he realises that when he comes home, there will no longer be something simmering on the stove, there will no longer be the love of his life standing at the counter with sauce-smeared fingers and a cheeky grin. Spends hours and hours listening to all the love songs he wrote for you and that you never heard; cries over his keyboard and breaks the electronics with his misery. Refuses to rap, because like Changbin, he just can't get the words out of his mouth anymore. Becomes quiet and reserved; is aware of every single word that comes out of his mouth, every move he makes, he scrutinizes. Cries for you in the dark every night.
Felix who storms to the bathroom and immediately begins cutting off all of his hair. Hacks it relentlessly; tufts of blonde fall around his feet and collect on the tear-soaked cotton of his shirt. Nicks himself with the scissors in the process, but he doesn't care. Leaves spots of blood in the ironic shape of a heart on the dimly lit bathroom floor. Stains one of your photo frames with the scarlet; kisses it off, and then kisses the delicate depiction of your face behind the glass, setting it down on the bedside and burying his head in his hands. Refuses to dance or sing; the light goes out of his eyes and doesn't seem to return, an odd, almost eerie look taking over his once effortless and joyful exuberance.
Seungmin who pretends not to be affected; lives in denial of what happened, and goes about his life wondering if it's true. Refuses to look at news articles and completely shuts down when one of the members gently tries to help him open up; it always ends in an argument and slammed doors. Sits on his bed wondering if you'll ever come back, and if you left, was it because of something he did? Often regrets not being nicer to you, and jokes to himself about little things he sees that you would have hated; like incessantly hot weather where it melts his skin like pale chocolate, or the whirring of his laptop fan, which you always complained about. Lives the rest of his days in a sort of deluded happiness; he doesn't really believe you're gone.
Jeongin who chases after you in the crowd, only to come up short holding the sleeve of someone who looked the same as you from behind. Is bewildered when he wakes up every morning and places a hand next to him on the bed, expecting you to be there; he finds only a cold-empty loneliness, your soft indent in the mattress rustling under his shaking hands. Still wears your matching jewelry, and visits where you lay often, burying the rings and necklaces in the soft dirt so that you might be able to see them again one day. Scratches little pictures into your headstone and sits with you for hours, talking about anything and everything. Doesn't move, even when it's pouring down like the sea is crashing down from the sky, and holds and umbrella over your buried being to shield you from the wetness.
a/n: so this one is a little longer but it just flowed out of me i guess
✦ she/her. call me ttokki. 00 liner. bts and skz ults. sfw writer. previously starlost-mochi-x ✦
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