Before Spotify Wrapped Comes Out, Y’all Gotta Realize That I Went Through Approximately 20 Personality

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

Im just gonna say that to anybody who just came from twitter, do NOT fucking ask for an algorithm. Revel in the fact there is none, and just do normal manipulation to get popularity. Dont manipulate a robot to get people hooked on your bullshit. Just be an actively manipulative being yourself you coward. Fuck your robots, we have tags that relatively function. Fuck your robots, you can just tag seven billion things and maybe people will like you. Fuck your robots, just be a bad person and worm your way to the top. Otherwise you’re just being fucking lame and a pussy to ask for a robot for help. Gain your own power and reach the top of your fandoms by being the most blanketing and aggressive person you can be. Just don’t fucking ask for a robot to control what you see and send. Thats stupid.

reasons why the princess diaries 2 is actually the best movie ever made

ok so i know that when we were all young fanchildren we all watched this movie and sighed dreamily. but i am here to tell u that this movie is even better than u remember

1. the main conflict in the movie is the arranged marriage. i’m gonna stop right here, because princesses in arranged marriages are a classic fanfiction trope that we are all trash for. don’t lie to yourself. but it gets BETTER. not only is there an arranged marriage… the guy she’s arranged to marry is actually a really chill dude. u like this dude. u know they would be good friends and partners. he would make a good king. but sHE DOESNT LOVE HIM!!! she doesn’t love him. and it would be so easy for the narrative to say ~oh look at this selfish girl she has a handsome titled good man ready to marry her she’s so SELFISH for wanting passion and true love, so naive~ (see fuckboys: i’m so nice and handsome why doesn’t she love me she’s horrible) instead the narrative presents her not marrying him as a perfectly valid choice and one the viewer sides with her on. the narrative supports her choice and makes it clear it was the right decision. ADDITIONALLY, the solution presented to fix the arranged marriage problem is to DESTROY THE PATRIARCHY. like???? don’t fuck with me this movie is perfect

2. literally the other main conflict is the love interest. he’s essentially a conman trying to convince mia to fall passionately in love with him so he can steal the throne. but along the way… he falls in love with her. THIS IS LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THREE THOUSAND FANFICTIONS PEOPLE

3. speaking of fanfiction…this movie is one. like, i’m not even joking. the first princess diaries movie essentially compiled the first 3 books into a movie, but the sequel wasn’t based on the books at all. disney just pulled something out of their asses and was like “this will make the fangirls happy”

4. at the beginning of the movie mia graduates from princeton’s woodrow wilson school of international affairs… literally one of the best international studies programs on the planet.. then she’s flown to a castle…where she’s a princess..and has hot men falling all over her…and wears ballgowns…like…mia is such a mary sue but somehow the movie manages to avoid making her one AT ALL

5. also holy shit??! mia doesn’t just stand around looking pretty as a princess.. she’s clearly really smart and genuinely cares about the people of genovia and does her best to serve them well even to it’s hard work… like damn mia is fucking committed to being a good queen she’s not just a princess because castles make good backdrops for romances

6. the queen/joe YAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS u fucking know u shipped that shit

7. THE ENTIRE MOVIE IS ABOUT FUCKING THE PATRIARCHY. MIA IS PORTRAYED AS KIND AND SENSITIVE BUT THAT ADDS TO HER APPEAL AS A RULER NOT DETRACTS FROM IT. AT THE END OF THE MOVIE SHE’S LIKE “fuck these rules written by old white men, i’m gonna make my own less sexist rules” AND THEN SHE FUCKING DOES?!? SHE FUCKING CALLS OUT THE SEXISM OF THE LAWS AND THEN CHANGES THEM. HELLO WOMEN IN PARLIAMENT! GOODBYE BOYS CLUBS! A WOMAN IS FULLY CAPABLE OF RULING ON HER OWN WITHOUT A MAN AND SHE FUCKING DRILLS THAT INTO THEIR GODDAMN HEADS

8. chris pine. what a hot piece of ass amiright

9. the number of times something fucking bizarre happens to mia and she theoretically looks into the camera like she’s on the office is comedic gold honestly. the maids?? flirting with her arranged husband?? climbing out a window?? the fAKE LEG!? mia is just trying to live her life but the universe keeps fucking it up. i feel u mia. 

in sum i have n o idea how the fuck this movie got made but goddamn is it not god’s gift to man

Portrait of Madame de Pompadour (1756), detail by Fr.Bousher

Saved from: www.pinterest.com

shygirl by tyler kohlhoff for office magazine

I made a baby blanket for a pregnant woman at work and I went back and forth about it like “is this weird? To like hand make something for someone when we’re like friendly acquaintances not like bffs. God why are you so fucking awkward.” Anyway I gave it to her and she said she loved it and in the back of my head I’m like yea she’s nice and probably just humoring the weirdo. Well she texted me a picture this weekend of a scrunchy faced newborn at the hospital wrapped in the blanket I made her. And I’m like. Wow. She loved it so much she took it with her! To the hospital! To give birth! She wrapped her newborn it! I am just so filled with love and joy right now.

People will love the things you make them. Because you thought of them and you cared.

A.L.C Pre Fall 2017

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