Melissa Febos, Abandon Me

Wednesday, 7th July 2021

As the thunder roars in such tumultuous pain, the sun singes the rim of every cloud until the whole sky is cloaked in a brightened sadness, a softening grey. And the world will sit in shallow wine while the teardrops of the encroaching night play in ripples across the sun's sleeping face, waiting for the moon blank and ghostly behind the starless sky. It is new tonight but hidden from sight, it bows in heavenly patience.

let me stay,

dancing like fae among flowers

lost to the breeze

and summer sun-showers

This is in no way a fairy transaction, I promise.

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My written Tarot Readings are written in the style of a letter, catered to you and your personal questions. I do three different tarot spreads and you can ask any question you want, whether it is related to relationships, work, family, home, or what the year is going to look like for you. I use my cards to help me interpret your dreams, so give me your dreams and I'll give you an understanding.

'...from the nineteenth century onward, Cinderella conveyed the explicit message that personal goodness and virtue merit reward, and that goodness and virtue are, and will be rewarded. As a generality, it is fair to say that most people believe themselves both good and deserving; thus the message that goodness will be rewarded is well suited to the hopes and needs of the large part of every country’s population that does not live in comfort. Furthermore, stories like Cinderella, in which magical assistance plays a prominent role, foster an existential belief in eventual assistance, whatever the presenting problem may be, and support hope for a happier and better future. For poor girls in the nineteenth century, for whom so few opportunities for social rise from the depths of misfortune to the highest imaginable joys existed, Cinderella could stand for a way out and a way up.'

Ruth B. Bottigheimer, 'Cinderella: The People's Princess' in Cinderella across Cultures, ed. M. H. D. Rochere (Detroit: Wayne State University Press, 2016).

I am half finished, incomplete as the moon in it's phases, yet still I am curved into a crescent smiling at my shadowed half

0903, O.L. / Tumblr: @3lsahart / Peggy Toney Horton / September Days, In New England Fields and Woods, Rowland E. Robinson / Unknown / Alexander Theroux / Memory of Water, Reina María Rodríguez / September, Helen Hunt Jackson / Wallace Stegner / Instagram: @kjp / H. Stuart / Unknown / Unknown / Henry Rollins / Margaret Atwood / Diario Cuatro, DC de Oliveira / Virginia Woolf / Unknown / September 1st, D. E. / Beginning and ending with my death, Zeina Hashem Beck / The Whole Word and Other Stories, Ali Smith / Turquoise Silence, Sanober Khan / Victoria Erickson

Strained and wanting

I simmer below the surface,

a thousand pieces of light

stretched thin and glaring

piece together my skin,

thoughts rumbling through

troubled waters, fine lines

and wasted moments,

preoccupied with nothing

I was diagnosed with dyspraxia. A lot of people know it as the “clumsy disorder” but it’s a lot more and I think it has a lot to do with my speech.

It’s more then just the “clumsy disorder”. I’m more then clumsy. I have weak core muscles, I’m weak, I’m uncoordinated, I’m constantly running into things, I can’t grip a fork right, I spill food and get it all over myself

Yes, I’m clumsy, I drop things, spill things, etc. But it’s more then that. It affects me greatly and I think when people mark it just as “being clumsy” they are undermining a disorder that affects people greatly.

With my speech, I talk in a monotone, which is easier for me. I talk in simplified language and don’t use big words. I slur and stutter my words aswell,

I just realized this when I was talking about dyspraxia and I thought it’d be important to discuss.

something i wish i had realized earlier: you can write poems on the same subject more than once. you can write, paint, draw the same thing over and over if you want to. you can spend your whole life making art about oranges. i think i always felt this pressure to get it right the first time like i couldn’t go back and use that inspiration again. but you can. you can go back and revisit it. you can pick up the conversation again and again if you have more to say.