James' And Sirius' Borderline Codependency Was Cute. Admirable, Even. Until It Wasn't.

James' and sirius' borderline codependency was cute. Admirable, even. Until it wasn't.

And the saddest part about it all is even with Remus and regulus around James and Sirius will always gravitate towards eachother. James is hurt? Where's Sirius? Sirirus had yet another nightmare? James' name is the first one past his lips. This drives their respective partners mad. Makes them feel like their affection isn't quite enough. What no one understands is for just how long these boys had only eachother to rely on. James was, at the ripe age of 12 holding Sirius while he slept, getting him to eat after Sirius' mother reached her hands across the dining table, down his throat stealing the appetite right from his stomach. Sirius was the one there to rub james' back when, bless their hearts, his parents were quite able to understand the ache in their sons lungs. And it's hard, to come down from that high. When you've found your constant. That one person in the world who with no more than a glance can take the thoughts from your head and sop up the pain in your body with a nod of the head and an "I know" and they love their boyfriends, of course they do. But you can't, no matter how hard you may try, writhe your way between the seems of a bond once made by two scared eleven year old boys. Regulus hated James when he was young, despised him even. Because James took his brother away. James stole Sirius attention the moment he'd walk into the room and now, now regulus hated his own brother for that same reason. Remus knew how much Sirius loved him. But the shame he'd fill with when he had to call James up and ask how to handle his own boyfriend. His whole soul hurt when Remus fought tooth and nail to get that poor boy home from Azkaban and the only request when Remus offered "anything. Anything at all." Was James fleamont potter. Remus even often thought that if Sirius really had to choose between them, when it all boiled down to, Sirius just could not live without james. And Regulus knew that James would throw his whole life away for sirirus. He'd give the very blood from his veins to that man, utterly unbeknownst to the idea that the life he gave sirirus may as well have taken the air from regulus' lungs, because sirirus needed James. Bad, sometimes. But regulus needed him too. And he wasnt always there in that way he so consistently could be for regulus' brother. So when James and sirirus fall to their knees in that helpless, tearful way they always seemed to, Remus and Regulus can only stand awkwardly off to the side, offering eachother a sympathetic glance over a bond they will never know, and a sort of love that they will never feel.

And it's no one's fault. Because sirius couldn't trust anyone quite the way he did james, and James couldn't quite explain what that meant in any frequency the others could understand.

.

Uhm anyways I hope you cried or something.

Cause I did.