I Think I Have Arrived At A Point In My Life Where I Am Finally Acknowledging That I Have To Unlearn

El Paso Herald, Texas, January 31, 1928

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Student studying under a tree, Bryn Mawr, 1966 | via Bryn Mawr College Special Collections

I just don't think that there's this big majority of happy "neurotypicals" who aren't at all bothered by working a crappy full-time job just to barely afford a room in a shitty apartment in a world that gets scarier by the day and doesn't leave much time OR money for either connection, rest, self care or hobbies. Like I think that's a myth we are being sold to shame us into acting like we're fine too actually for as long as we possibly can

i'm starting to accept that romantic love is not for me. i was never supposed to have it. maybe because i yearn for it so badly, it is not for me. because if life ever taught me anything, it's the more you want something, the less likely you are to get it. it's how that one saying goes: everything i cried and begged for never ended up serving me. and it's true, it never did. not even once. i always walk away with damage more than anything else. and i'm tired of it.

I think they noticed me